Текст книги "The First Last Boy"

Автор книги: Sonya Weiss

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His head dipped in acknowledgement and I breathed out, then gave him a wave as I climbed into my car. I drove away lost in thoughts of Ryan and in the feelings that swarmed over me when I thought about his hand touching my most intimate place.

How I managed to get home was anyone’s guess. The drive passed in a blur of road and houses. Ryan had originally said he didn’t want to talk about it after we had sex. I knew now that wasn’t going to be a problem. Based on what had happened between us at the garage just now, how could I discuss something I suspected was going to be too powerful to define?

*

RYAN

I was halfway home before I managed to stop thinking about wanting to be inside of Tana. Wanting her and not having her was painful. I should call off the sex agreement but damned if I could find the will especially after that encounter at the garage. I wanted to lie to myself that my reaction was simply because it had been too long since I’d had release. That was the distorted truth that would allow me to quiet the warning voice in my mind and justify what I was going to do to Tana next weekend. Maybe I wanted her because on some level she represented what I’d never had. Goodness. Purity. Hope. Or maybe I was going to have sex with her because foster dad #5 was right and I was just a self-centered, evil shit whose death would be a favor to the world. I clenched my jaw together, tired of wrestling with myself and pulled into the driveway at Mama Leena’s.

The porch was filled with neighborhood kids of all ages. Every weekend, she let the kids hang out hoping that while their parents worked, it’d keep some of them out of trouble. Casey Wallace, a teenage single mother who lived next door was leaving as I approached. When she passed close to me, I handed her some money, waving off her choked up words of gratitude. The father of her baby was in jail on the domestic violence charge he’d copped to after I’ve shown him why it was dangerous for him to hit a woman.

“Hiiii, Ryan,” Katie said from the east corner of the porch. She sat cross-legged holding a one-eared kitten Destiny had rescued. Katie was Destiny’s best friend and like my foster sister, a pain in the ass sometimes.

“Hey. Have you seen Juvante?”

“He’s talking to Mama Leena.”

The screen door flew open and Destiny came outside carrying two sodas.

“Thanks.” I took one from her hand.

“Ryan, give that back. That’s not for you.”

“Katie doesn’t mind.” I popped the tab and took a drink. “Right, Katie?”

Destiny bumped me with her shoulder and keeping her voice low said, “You better get in there.”

I handed her back the soda. Before I could reach the kitchen, I heard Juvante’s voice, raised and insistent, followed by Mama Leena’s I-don’t-believe-your-bullshit tone.

“Did you know about this?” Mama Leena asked me. She searched my face and when I didn’t answer fast enough, she wagged a wooden spoon that dropped a blob of mashed potatoes onto the linoleum. “She called me crying and carrying on. You’re going to do the right thing by her, Juvante. A man supports his child.”

“I told you it’s not mine!”

She held up her hand, shook her head, grabbed a paper towel and picked up the potato blob. Then she glared at me. “You boys think you can have sex with all these girls without consequences? I’m not talking about pregnancy alone either.” Her lips tightened. “You’re messing with these girls’ hearts every time you take something you don’t have any business taking because you know you’re not sticking around. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up creating more single mothers raising children.”

“Ma, come on. I told you. I never hit that. I swear.”

Mama Leena looked at Juvante for a long time and then thrust a platter of salad greens into his hands. “Take this to the dining room and tell Destiny to get in here and help you boys set the table. Cooper says he’s not coming by. Are Ryker and Zane?”

I shook my head. “Nah. I don’t think so. They went up to Illinois for the weekend.” She nodded, handed me a basket of cornbread and I followed Juvante. “You dog. You looked her in the face and lied.”

Juvante set the greens down and said, “I only hit it a little, but I know it’s not mine. I wore my raincoat. That girl’s like a revolving door. I can’t let her mess me over right before I sign up.”

We’d talked about him joining the military but I’d thought he was joking. “You? A Marine?”

“Don’t laugh. I look good with a bald head.”

“Shit. You’re serious?”

“Yeah. Four more years of schooling? Not for me. You know I hate it.” He raised one eyebrow and droned in a nasal voice, “Students, if you will check your brain at the door, you too, could develop a stick up your ass and become a professor like me.”

I laughed again, but what sucked was if anyone had the grades to get into a good college, Juvante did. Smart as hell with a high GPA. I couldn’t imagine not hanging with him.

Destiny came in carrying a stack of plates.

“Girl, you look so pretty,” Juvante said, licking his lips and smacking them loudly.

She banged the plates on the table and with a dismissive wave of her hand left again.

“Chanos came by the garage today.”

Juvante stopped staring at the door after Destiny and whipped his head around to look at me. “What’d he want?”

“Thinks I might know where some of his product from the warehouse is hiding.”

Eyes wide, Juvante hissed, “Are you fucking for real?”

“Yeah.”

He stroked his chin. “That’s bad news. Those little shits probably took that stuff.”

I nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking.” Anger burned in me at the potential consequences their actions could bring. “I’m going to beat their asses.”

“I’m going to help you,” Juvante promised.

After the table was finally loaded with food and Mama Leena said a prayer over it and ended with praying for all the missionaries in the world, the pounding beat of rap music outside the house shook the window.

Juvante and I looked at each other and rose at the same time.

“Sit down, boys. Clarke and Roman will be in shortly,” Mama Leena said calmly while spooning gravy over her potatoes.

I slid back down into the hard chair and a second later, Juvante did the same.

The rap music went silent.

“I smell something good!” Roman shouted and then appeared in the doorway.

I stared at his clean shaven face and didn’t see what I was looking for. When Clarke entered right behind him, that’s when I saw it. His blue eyes were red and glassy. His hair stuck up in different spots all over his head. Rubbing at his nose, he came around to the head of the table and leaned down to kiss the top of Mama Leena’s head.

She took him by the hand and held on when he tried to walk to one of the empty chairs. “Where have you boys been?”

His gaze darted around the table. “You know, Ma. Around.”

Her shoulders slumped and because she wasn’t one to sweep things under the rug, she said in a tone full of fear and fractured hope, “Have you been using?”

Clarke looked at Roman who ducked his head.

“You stupid sonofabitch!” Juvante launched himself at Clarke. His fist connected with the side of Clarke’s face and they both tumbled backward to slam against the wall. They grappled for a few seconds before Juvante sat on his legs, pinning him against the floor. He pounded on Clarke and the dull thud of his fists connecting with flesh filled the air.

Roman joined in the fight, punching Juvante in the back at the kidney line. At seventeen, he was built like a linebacker. He’d put a hurting on Juvante if I didn’t do something.

I grabbed Roman from behind around the waist and flung him toward the opposite wall. He hit it hard and slid to the floor. “Stay there!” I pointed my finger in his face when he shook his head groggily and tried to stand.

Clarke had his arms raised, feebly trying to cover his face. Blood dripped from one side of his lips and the skin underneath his eye was already starting to bruise. I doubted Clarke could top one fifty soaking wet. He was always getting his ass beat. Not because he was skinny but because he was stupid as hell. Always running his mouth or being somewhere he shouldn’t be. Tapping Juvante on the shoulder, I said, “Let him up.”

“I’m not through with him yet.” Juvante paused mid-strike and glared at Clarke.

“Yeah, you are. That’s enough.”

“Take it outside and don’t break any bones.” Sadness coupled with weariness coated Mama Leena’s voice.

I hauled Clarke up by the collar of his shirt and shoved him out in front of me, then went back for Roman. I looked at him and he angrily shuffled along with us until we were outside in the muggy heat.

Across the street old man Moore waved at us from his rocking chair. I nodded at him and followed my brothers around the side of the house to the garage, out of view of the street.

Chapter Five

TANA

“I saw a warthog,” Mark announced while I cleared the table after supper.

I was trying to rush things along so I could have time to get ready before Ryan arrived. I was riding with him to the party. He was always teasing me that I was late everywhere I went. Brooklyn had called to say she could make it to the party after all and knowing us, we’d start talking and then none of us would be ready to go on time. “Where’d you see a warthog?”

“Mom took me to the zoo this morning.”

The Caldwell Zoo had always been one of Mark’s favorite places to visit but we hadn’t been back since the move. “Did you get to see your Gila monster?”

“Uh huh. He’s still there. I told Mom I wanted one.”

“I don’t see a habitat here for it, Creature,” I teased.

“She said when hell froze over.”

I laughed.

“Dad called,” Mark said.

Speaking of hell. I stopped laughing. “Oh? Did he say he was coming to pick you up tomorrow?” If that was the case, it figured. By waiting until Sunday if he bothered to show, Dad wouldn’t have to spend the whole weekend with Mark as a visible reminder he sucked as a father. I doubted that he ever felt guilty for anything wrong he’d done. He’d always had a narcissistic streak.

“Uh uh.” Mark twisted a small Spiderman toy over and over in his hands. “He’s getting married tomorrow.”

“Oh.” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at the last minute, offhand way my so-called father had shared that information. It made me sad that he treated Mark as an afterthought. “I’m sorry, buddy.”

“I asked if I could go and he said I would be in the way at the wedding because I acted like a moron.” He lifted his thin shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t care. I’m having fun today.”

Mom was taking Mark and some of his friends to the movies, probably so he wouldn’t dwell on Daddy Douche, but the way he spoke to Mark pissed me off. “You’re not a moron, okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nope. Dad’s the fuck up, not me.”

My mouth dropped open.

“What?” He drew his eyebrows together. “I called Ryan at the garage. He said that about Dad.”

“Umm...well...”

The doorbell rang and I didn’t have time to remind Mark that it was better not to repeat everything Ryan said. I opened the door to let Brooklyn and Shelby in. They were so opposite each other. Shelby was slender and blonde. She exuded class and money, and was dressed in tailored jeans and an expensive button up shirt.

I’d met Brooklyn after moving to my current neighborhood. She struggled financially the same way that I did. She wore several piercings in each ear with double hoop earrings, a T-shirt featuring a rock band, and ripped blue jeans. She kept a red bandana around her black hair more often than not. In school, she’d had a reputation as the girl everyone knew better than to cross. She had a number of brothers she complained smothered her but they were a close, loving family and she knew she was lucky to have them despite all her grumbling.

Shelby and I were going to be roommates at Bayside in the fall. Brooklyn wasn’t sure yet what she wanted to do with her life. Her family owned a small restaurant near the high school and only took in enough profit to live on. The rest of it they used to help feed the city’s homeless and families who struggled to put food on the table. Less than thrilled with the idea, Brooklyn had talked about having to take that over someday when her parents retired if she didn’t do anything else. Her family wanted her to attend Bayside and room with Shelby and me, but Brooklyn wasn’t sure that college was for her.

“I brought you something,” Shelby said, handing Mark a bag.

He opened it and pulled out the latest video game. It was expensive and I knew Mom wouldn’t like Shelby spending that kind of money on a gift. His face lit up. “Thanks!”

“We’re running late. Let’s go, Mark.” Mom came out of her bedroom carrying her shoes. She searched the coffee table for her keys, they grimaced when she realized she had them in her pocket.

Mark stuffed the game back into the bag and stuck it between the sofa and side table so he wouldn’t have to explain where it came from. In the past, Mom had made him return some of the expensive things Shelby had given him.

“I’ll play a game with you later and beat you at it,” Shelby volunteered.

Mark rolled his eyes and whispered back. “You wish.” He threw himself at my legs, winding his arms around me in a tight hug and I ruffled his hair and leaned down to kiss the side of his cheek.

As soon as he dashed out the door in Mom’s wake, Brooklyn said, “I brought beer.” She darted back outside to her car. Brooklyn always brought the beer. She had fake IDs from four different states.

“Ryan’s coming right?” Shelby raised her eyebrows and gave me a smug smile when I nodded yes. “I knew it. I told you Ryan would go to the party for you.”

“He’s my friend. It’s not like we’ve never gone to parties together before. This doesn’t mean anything.” The words sounded empty even to my own ears. I’d never known a guy like Ryan. Someone who was my friend, my shoulder to cry on, my challenger, my rock, and my hiding place when my life was too much to deal with. Despite how close we were though, there was a part of Ryan he kept walled off as if he was protecting himself.

“You’re not fooling me, Tana. You’re way more into Ryan than you ever were Tristan and Tristan was never even remotely a friend.”

I didn’t want to think about my mixed up feelings for Ryan. In the friendship zone was where he’d clearly stashed us and that was that despite the heat that simmered, threatening to boil over between us.

The front door swung in. “I broke up with Three,” Brooklyn announced. She dumped a bag on the coffee table and handed out the light beers. Whenever a boyfriend pissed her off and she dumped him, in her eyes, the guy lost the worthiness to be called by name.

I took a sip of the beer, not planning on drinking much since I figured I’d have some at the party. “What did he do?”

“He started talking about moving in together.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t even have a job anymore and doesn’t have plans to get one. Like I was going to support his ass.”

“I don’t blame you for kicking him to the curb, but you’ve been through three boyfriends this year alone. Maybe you’re choosing guys who aren’t good for you and you don’t recognize that.”

“I know.” Brooklyn winced at Shelby’s observation. “I’m a magnet for the wrong kind of guy.”

“You draw guys to you and I seem to repel them. I haven’t had a boyfriend since Adam and I broke up last summer,” Shelby said.

Brooklyn traced the rim of the bottle with her fingertip. “That’s because you’re scared. You find these button down shirt, vanilla living type guys and you settle for that.”

“I’m scared?” Shelby asked slowly, furrowing her brow.

“She’s right, Shel.” I gave her a smile, hoping to lessen the sting. “You always play it safe. Look at Adam. Didn’t your mom hand pick him for you to date?”

“She introduced us,” Shelby said.

“And strongly suggested you date him.” Brooklyn glanced at her phone when it rang, then rolled her eyes and silenced it. “Three. Again.”

Shelby flicked her hair back. “Adam’s a nice guy.”

“But was he what you wanted?” I asked.

“I don’t know. He treated me like I was perfect for him.” She took a swallow of her beer. “Granted, it was a little dull, but there were no waves, no issues. Being with him was drama free.”

“Waves and issues aren’t necessarily a bad thing if they’re part of a healthy relationship. Take a walk on the wild side before you settle for another Mr. Boring Nice Guy.” Brooklyn finished off her beer and set the empty bottle aside. “That way, when you’re neck deep in your pearls and society functions, you’ll have the memories of Mr. Wild to make you feel alive.”

“I know that you two think my life is one big bore, but I have responsibilities and expectations. I can’t just walk away from them.”

I exchanged a look with Brooklyn. “Shelby, you’re eighteen years old. Your life is your own.” Shelby’s mother was a real Franken-mom and had structured every moment of her daughter’s life from the time Shelby was a toddler.

“Next week, I have a date with the son of one of my mother’s garden club friends. He’s rich and handsome. I’m quiet and decorative. Together we’re picture perfect according to my family. My life is my own. Sure.” She looked sad.

Shelby had spent her life trying hard to be the perfect daughter in order to win her mother’s approval but she had a better chance at turning into a rainbow than she did of that happening.

Popping her lightly on the leg, I jumped up. “C’mon. We need to get ready.” The three of us went into my room to put on makeup and style our hair.

Leaning closer to the mirror, Brooklyn slicked lipstick across her full lips. “I don’t miss Three at all, but I already miss the sex.”

“I haven’t had sex since Adam and I broke up.” Shelby sat on the bed and leaned back to look at the ceiling. “But I don’t miss the sex.” She glanced at Brooklyn. “It was vanilla.” The three of us laughed.

“I’m going to have sex with Ryan,” I blurted out when the laughter died down. Saying the words out loud whirled my emotions together like someone turned on a blender inside of me.

Brooklyn froze with a mascara brush halfway to her eyelashes. She lowered it slowly and raised her eyebrows. “Ryan.” She drew his name out.

“Why do you say his name like that?” I asked, a little embarrassed I’d spilled the information so abruptly.

“I’m surprised, that’s all.” Brooklyn turned and leaned back against my dresser, her dark eyes worried. “And concerned. Trust fund guys like Adam are boring but at least they’re safe. Guys like Ryan are anything but safe.”

I scoffed at that. “Ryan would never hurt me.”

She bit her lip. “Not physically.”

“Then what?”

“Guys like him have an allure that reels in a girl. Causes her to lose her head and then her heart because he’s good looking and knows how to play her. They have sex and before you know it, the girl is thinking about the future while he’s thinking about the next girl. Ryan could easily destroy you and you know it. I don’t want to see you broken by him, Tana.”

I couldn’t understand where Brooklyn’s fears were coming from. Ryan wasn’t playing me. I was the one who’d asked him to have sex. “I appreciate the love, but Ryan isn’t going to break me. It’s just sex and we’re both clear on that.”

“It’s never “just sex” when the heart’s involved.”

I sighed. “My heart isn’t involved and neither is Ryan’s.”

“I don’t know that I believe that about you but maybe for Ryan. I would believe his heart isn’t involved because I have heard he doesn’t have a heart. Maybe he’s too damaged.” Brooklyn whipped around to finish applying her makeup. “A man can be crushed by the darkness only so many times before he can’t find his way back out. And the stuff I’ve heard about him is some pretty dark shit.”

I knew Ryan’s past had been bad based on his reaction when I’d asked him about it. We’d been hanging at my house about a year ago and curious, I’d pushed him hard for answers. He’d shut me down and walked away. That had hurt because I felt like he couldn’t trust me with whatever it was that had hurt him. But I knew Ryan and whatever was in his past hadn’t destroyed the good that was in him. “He’s not a bad person.”

Shelby got up to search my closet. “I have to agree with her, Brook. Though I don’t know Ryan that well, I get the vibe that underneath all that steamy hot exterior, he’s not a bad guy.”

“Steamy hot?” I laughed when Shelby wiggled her eyebrows and mouthed “oh yeah.”

“I’m your friend, but I do have eyes, and that guy looks delicious.” She held up a low cut black tank top. “I feel like doing something different, something so not vanilla. Borrow this?”

I waved my hand at her. “Go ahead.”

Shelby took off her shirt and tossed it onto the bed then put on the tank. She freed her hair from the band and bent over at the waist, shaking her head and then flipped her hair back upright. “Does Ryan have any brothers? Maybe Brooklyn’s right and I should take a walk on the wild side.”

I thought for a second. “He does. Juvante and Roman and Clarke are the foster brothers who live with him right now. Clarke is kind of a loser, though. He’s high half the time and the other half, he’s drunk. Roman’s too young, but Ryan has some really hot older foster brothers who don’t live with him. Ryker, Zane and Cooper, but of the three of them, I’d stay away from Cooper.”

That piqued her interest. “Why Cooper?”

“I think he might be a little too wild for you.”

“With Cooper all you’d get is meaningless sex with the kind of guy that your mother definitely wouldn’t approve of,” Brooklyn said with a laugh.

“Then please, please introduce me.” Shelby opened her purse and frowned. “Or maybe not. I don’t have any condoms.”

Brooklyn looked amused. “No worries. Guys from the wrong side of the tracks are always prepared to put a sheath on the dagger.” With the look she gave me, I knew she was referring to Ryan.

Shelby unwrapped a chocolate bar she dug out of her purse and offered us some. “You want to use my grandparents’ vacation house to be with Ryan? They hardly ever go. It’s right across from the Huron River—you remember it. You and Ryan could drive there.”

I did remember that house. Shelby and I had spent a few weekends there with her grandparents. The house was huge and gorgeous and there were big skylights in all the bedrooms.

Shelby fished around for her keys. “They let me use it last month. I think I still have the key. Here it is.” She separated it from the key ring and passed it over.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’ll tell them I’m going to use it with some friends and they won’t care.”

“Are you sure?” Brooklyn asked with a hard look at me.

Of course I was sure. The episode at the garage and the way I’d felt when Ryan had touched me had solidified my decision. He was the one and I had no regrets at the thought of being with him. The key burned into the palm of my hand like a talisman.

*

RYAN

“How could you do this shit?” I asked.

“It’s not a big deal.” Clarke resented me being in his face. He stared at me for a second, then dropped his gaze. “Why are you so jacked?” He spat a circle of blood onto the ground and touched his busted lip with a wince.

“It’s not about me.” I shoved him backward off the concrete block. “Chanos threatened Tana, you stupid fuck.” Chanos had done some pretty evil shit and the thought of him even thinking about hurting Tana resurrected a side of me I’d hoped to leave behind forever. A side that was nothing but trouble. The same old urge to pound the hell out of something rose up in me. I ran my hand through my hair, my head spinning. I hated the guy I’d once been but I’d be whatever kind of bastard I needed to be to keep Tana safe. There was never any question, never any doubt that I would walk through the fires of hell doused in gasoline for her and I would drag anyone down with me that I had to take.

Juvante made a gimme motion at Clarke and Roman with his fingers. “Let me see the cash you have left.”

Roman thrust his hands into his pocket and passed over a folded wad. Clarke did the same and Juvante’s mouth dropped after he finished counting it. “Two grand? For a kilo? You spent the rest?”

“He only gave us five for all of it,” Roman said.

“It’s worth thirty-three at least.” Juvante groaned in frustration.

Running my hand down my face, I walked a few steps away. I couldn’t look at Roman or Clarke without wanting to beat them into bloody stumps. I turned back to face Roman. “Who’s the he you’re talking about?”

“The guy at the warehouse,” Clarke mumbled.

“I warned him. I told Clarke it was a bad idea to take it.” Roman rubbed his closely cropped hair, looking sick to his stomach.

“Yeah, but he’s stupid and you’re not,” Juvante said. “Five for a fucking kilo.” He smacked Roman’s shoulder. “You should’ve looked out for your brother.”

Roman tensed and I stepped between them. “What’s the guy’s name?”

“Rattoni.”

“You believed the Rat? That guy’s first baby words were a lie. Ah, man.” Juvante handed me the money. “Hold that. I’ll be right back.” He went inside the house and when he returned, he was packing. If Mama Leena knew he kept that in his room, she’d have his head on a platter. He jerked his head at me. “Rat hangs at the crack house on Manor. C’mon.”

Roman and Clarke made like they were going to go with us and I stopped them. “You idiots stay here before you get us killed.”

***

The closer I drove to the crack house, the more desolate the area became. The poverty, the despondency, was a way of life in some areas of Caldwell. Crime didn’t happen without a purpose here and that purpose was survival. Those who looked down their noses at the young men hustling to make a buck probably never experienced hunger gnawing like a rat at their stomach. Probably never saw tears track down a kid’s face for the same reason. I’d been one of those kids.

I drove past the park with the broken down play equipment, past the pawn shop, and the liquor stores dotting every other corner. Every other spot in the road was a pothole big enough to blow a tire.

“Home sweet home.” Juvante leaned back with a long exhale and his leg jiggled nervously. “Never thought I’d be back in this neighborhood.”

“Me either.” The same ugliness of the streets lived in me and no matter how far away I went I would always carry it in the lessons I’d learned and the scars that I’d earned.

“Memories, man.” He glanced at me. “You get out but they tag along.”

“I know.” I turned down a street that was full of half-vacant houses and parked the Charger in front of the crack house.

From the outside, at a distance, the house didn’t look too bad, but the closer we walked toward it, the uglier it became. The siding was gouged in places and duct tape covered holes in the windows. Before we even reached the front door, the stench from toilets that didn’t work assailed us and I fought the urge to gag.

The front door was half-open. I pushed it all the way open and we walked in. Old magazines and cards were strewn on the floor among dozens of beer cans. Several people in various stages of stupor were lying about with a few more asleep with their faces on the stained carpet. The walls were more holes than actual drywall and rat droppings created a thick coating along the baseboards. On the trash-strewn kitchen counter a half-naked couple made a feeble attempt to have sex but kept missing each other.

“When you’re too stoned to fuck, you’re too stoned,” Juvante muttered, looking disgusted.

I looked over the group until I saw the guy I wanted. Skinny little guy with a nervous twitch at the end of his nose. He had long greasy blond hair slicked back into a ponytail and a meth mouth full of rotted teeth. One arm was wrapped around a girl whose eyes were closed while drool dripped from one corner of her lips.

We shoved our way through the bodies until we reached Rat. He looked up at us and burped. The putrid scent of sour breath and unwashed body greeted us.

“Damn.” Juvante screwed up his face and waved his hand.

Rat’s eyes went wide with recognition and he scrambled to his feet, swaying back and forth. The girl fell over to one side without a sound. “It was a joke man. I didn’t think he’d fall for it. I was gonna give it back but...”

“But...” I prompted.

“It’s all gone,” Rat said, not sounding a bit sorry. One side of his mouth lifted up like he was making an attempt to smile.

“You think it’s funny stealing Chanos’ shit? That’s it. I’m gonna pop his ass.” Juvante flicked aside his shirt and exposed the handle of the gun in his waistband. I knew Juvante wouldn’t use it because my brother hated violence as much as I did, but Rat didn’t know that.

Holding both hands out, Rat kept his gaze glued on the gun and stammered, “Give me two weeks. I swear on my mother’s grave I’ll get every dime of the street value back to you.”

“You had a mother?” Juvante asked.

“You know I’m good for it,” Rat wheedled. “I’ll talk to Chanos. I’ll make it right, I swear.”

“One week. Next Saturday. I’ll be back then. If you don’t show, I’ll find you,” I said.

Rat rubbed his hair and his brow furrowed. He scrubbed his chin. “I don’t know man...one week...I can get maybe half that...”

“Dumbass, I’m not Kmart. Do I look like I’m offering you a fucking layaway plan? One week.” I stared him down until he lowered his gaze, then I hit Juvante on the arm and we turned to leave.

“He’ll come through, man,” Juvante said as we walked back to the Charger.

He had to. I didn’t want to be tangled up with Chanos like I’d been before. He had a way of owning your soul. Too young and stupid to fear even death back then, I hadn’t cared what I’d done. When a man doesn’t care, he doesn’t think he has anything to lose. But that was before Tana. Now, I knew I had everything to lose.