Текст книги "Toxic"

Автор книги: Rachel Van Dyken

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

I looked at the three masks I wore and realized something – they were all monsters of my own making. I did this. Nobody else. It was my choice. And I had chosen wrong. —Gabe H.

Gabe

“You ready?” Wes asked for the tenth time.

“Just do it already,” I grumbled leaning my head into the shower as he started rinsing the black out.

“So this is a fun bonding experience.” Wes laughed and started whistling.

“Please don’t whistle,” I grumbled. “Do anything but whistle.”

Wes started to hum one of the songs from my first albums.

“Freaking hilarious.”

“I thought so.” He continued humming.

“Just—” I tensed my hands against my knees as I leaned farther in. The black swirled into the drain as if my sins were getting washed out right along with my hair. “Just don’t do anything.”

“Gabe…” Wes dunked my head farther under the warm water. “You’re doing the right thing.”

“Yeah, that’s what you keep saying.”

“It’s true.”

“How do we know this doesn’t backfire and shoot me in the ass?”

“We don’t.”

“Imagine, there was once a time I thought you should be a therapist. Do you want me to kill myself?”

Wes laughed, pissing me off more. “Sorry, man, but think of it this way. The worst has happened and you’re still alive.”

“I—”

Holy hell he was right. The worst had happened. My dad knew where Lisa and I were. He was going to expose us. He knew about Kimmy, and Saylor hated me. My life was over, but I was alive.

“I can literally hear your brain frying right now.”

“Shut up.”

Wes turned off the water and threw a towel over my head, using a little bit too much aggression as he did so. The ass.

When I turned around he brandished a pair of scissors in his hand and a smile I can only describe as way too eager.

“No.” I shook my head. “Hell, no.”

“Oh, come on.” He held the scissors up in the air and snipped. “Go big or go home.”

“No.”

“Afraid?” He tilted his head.

“Shit.” I wiped my face with my hands. “Maybe a little.”

“Try having cancer.” His eyes narrowed. “Now stop being a bitch and sit down.”

I shook my head. “Being healthy’s changed you.”

“No.” Wes gave me a sad smile. “Almost losing my best friend – that changed me.”

“Wes—”

“I know you’re sorry.” He cleared his throat. “But if you ever go to that dark place again, I’m following you and I can be annoying as hell. I think we both know that. So, sit down while I cut your hair. We’re doing this together.”

Giving in, I nodded. “Thanks, Wes. For… everything.” Because he’d stayed up for twelve hours – missing sleep, missing food, missing everything – to help me come up with a plan.

He’d said he owed me.

But in the end, I think I’d always owe him for everything he did, for everything he’d done, for everything he was still doing by just being Wes. Freaking. Michels.

Shit. I would not cry.

As pieces of hair fell in front of me, and the sound of snipping clamored in my ears, I felt the weight lifted. I stopped slumping. Instead of leaning forward, I sat up. Instead of feeling emptier and more horrified…

I felt… invigorated.

I was able to smile – because the pieces of hair on the floor weren’t black. They were golden blond.

When Wes was finished he handed me a mirror and slapped me on the back. “Welcome back to the land of the living, Ashton Hyde, nice to meet you.”

Chapter Forty

He was just a man. Just a very, very, very attractive and popular man. And I had kissed him. A lot. Funny, when I was sixteen I imagined what it would be like to kiss Ashton Hyde. Never in my lifetime did I think it would actually happen – or feel so right. —Saylor

Saylor

The sweet smell of my mom’s pancakes woke me from my fitful sleep. When I opened my eyes, the clock on the bedside table confirmed that I’d totally slept in. Grumbling, I rolled over and threw on a pair of ripped jeans and a white t-shirt. After eating my body weight in pancakes, I left her apartment and drove, as slow as humanly possible to the Home.

It was one of my Friday afternoons and as much as I didn’t want to face Gabe, I knew my mom was right. Besides, no way could I abandon everyone.

As luck would have it – no traffic.

Of course.

I don’t know what I expected when I pulled up to the Home, but everything seemed normal. As if a movie/pop star hadn’t just come out of hiding last night, as if Gabe and I were still friends.

As I got out of my car, I shivered. The air was thick with mist. The two security guards nodded at me and let me through.

Martha was at the front desk, a smile on her face. “Ah Saylor, how are you today?”

“Good.” I’d be lying if I said my eyes weren’t darting all over the place, looking for traces of Gabe.

“He’s already inside,” Martha answered, pulling my cell phone from my clenched hand. “And he’s waiting for you.”

I cleared my throat and suddenly found great interest in staring at the countertop. “Who?”

She laughed.

Was I that transparent?

Sighing, I walked, again, as slow as my legs would allow me while still moving, and opened the doors to the game room.

Greedily, I searched for Gabe.

But Gabe wasn’t who I found.

Because Gabe didn’t exist anymore.

My breath caught in my chest as Ashton freaking Hyde rose from his chair and moved toward me.

The only thing that was the same? The tattoos. No piercings. No dark hair.

He was wearing blue skinny jeans, brown boots, and a tight tan Henley that opened up revealing a few chest tattoos.

His hair was golden blond. The type you see on TV and swear isn’t real. The type that looks like dark spun gold.

“You came.” He sounded relieved.

“Yeah.” I couldn’t look at him in the eyes. Not now. Not knowing what he did to me, how he affected me. My heart might as well have been exposed for all to see – no doubt he heard it.

Gabe or Ashton, or whoever he was – I guess in my mind he was still Gabe – reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny bottle. It was the size of a keychain and made of glass.

“What’s this?”

Gabe smiled. That paired with his dark skin and bright eyes, I had to blink to keep my mouth from falling open. “Five tears. You’re right. How dare I cause more – when I don’t even fix the first ones that fell?”

Speechless I stared.

“A tear for a tear,” he whispered then shook the tiny bottle.

“You—”

“It was only fair.” His eyes fell to my mouth. “By my count that means I have three more to make up for. So you better prepare yourself.”

“Prepare myself?” I repeated, still in shock.

“Yeah.” He smiled again and started to walk away toward Princess. Then as if forgetting something, he turned and said simply, “I’m falling.”

“Huh?”

“I’m falling for you too. I haven’t fallen. Falling. As in still falling, still in the air, still trying to get used to the idea that I’ve just nosedived off a cliff with every intention of making sure the landing doesn’t break my fall.”

“And if it does?”

“Then at least I still jumped.”

My breath caught in my throat, my body responded to his words as if he’d physically picked me up and twirled me around the room and kissed me senseless.

“Alright, everyone, take your seats.” I clapped my hands four times.

They followed. Princess shouted. Normal. Everything felt normal.

“We’ve been at this over four weeks.” I looked around the room. “Last time we met, we worked on our own songs. Does anyone want to share?”

A few people volunteered. Each of them trying hard to sing the notes they’d colored on their papers. Even Princess shouted the notes Gabe had colored for her.

“Anyone else?” I looked around the room, most everyone was distracted by his or her own worksheet, looking at each other’s, whispering.

“I want to go,” Gabe’s voice pierced the air.

“Oh yes, Park!” Princess shouted. “Play a song! Play your song!”

Gabe’s smile was for her and only her as he bent over and kissed her forehead. I would have never recognized her. But it was Kimmy. Kimmy Paige. Eighteen-year-old starlet. I really honestly thought she’d died. She’d been in a coma for so long, the media had lost interest.

“Parker!” Princess shouted, excitement evident in her twinkling eyes as her gaze followed him to the piano bench.

The songs he sang. They were hers. Ashton had been famous for it. He would write love songs for her then upload them to YouTube. One time, he’d even filmed himself singing her to sleep.

Was it any wonder women everywhere about killed themselves when he disappeared?

Gabe sat at the piano looking like he’d been born there. His hands hovered over the keys. “A new song. For new beginnings.” He lifted his eyes just slightly and met my gaze. And then he began to play.

Transfixed, I watched him while he played – his eyes never left mine.

“How could I let a love go – one I’d been holding onto for so long – one that felt like home? It’s not easy to let go of the pieces, even though they’re the reason for my pain. I gripped them so hard that my blood fell like rain. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for a new life with you – one I didn’t deserve, one I want to pursue.” He leaned over the piano, closing his eyes, as the music dipped. The song was both beautiful and haunting, his body was one with the piano, and in turn I felt like I was the piano. Like he was playing me, every stroke of the keys was him kissing my skin.

“If beauty is pain – let me get lost in it. If you’re my salvation – I want to earn it. If love is all I have to give – then let me give it. You. It’s all for you.”

Gabe’s eyes opened and locked in on mine.

“How can I prove that what I feel is real? You ask for truth I give you lies. You ask for joy I make you cry. But I don’t want to lose you. Not like this. Not when I’ve left your heart in such a mess. Give me one chance – I’m letting go of the past – but I need you here to know.”

“If beauty is pain – let me get lost in it. If you’re my salvation – I want to earn it. If love is all I have to give – then let me give it. You, it’s all for you.” He paused, hitting the last few notes, and the song ended.

Gabe’s smile lit up the room.

But I was frozen in place.

Me. He’d sung that to me.

I wiped a stray tear from my eye as Gabe approached me yet again. Was the man trying to kill me? I mean, there was only so much a girl could take.

His eyebrows drew together as he reached out and touched my wet cheek.

“It’s okay.” I whispered. “You earned it.”

“I want more songs!” Princess shouted breaking our moment.

I’d forgotten there were people all around us. Feeling my face heat, I sighed and walked back to the front of the room. “Alright, today we’re going to work on adding to the songs we created last time. Use four different notes and I want you to add a chorus.”

I walked from table to table helping.

When I reached Princess and Gabe, she was sleeping, which was weird to say the least. She never slept. I was beginning to think tired wasn’t even a word in her vocabulary. Then again, recently, she’d been mentioning it more and more.

“Is she okay?” I asked, my eyebrows drawing together in concern.

Gabe looked up from his chair and sighed, shoulders hunched he said quietly, “The infection is getting worse.”

I pulled a chair next to him and sat, without realizing I’d done it. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “She’s strong. It will be okay.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed back and smiled. “It really will.”

Chapter Forty-One

Watching your best friend smile when he looks in the mirror? No words. Just. None. —Wes M.

Gabe

“Wear the dark jeans.”

“Do you mind?” I snapped.

Wes held up his hands. “All I’m saying is they hug your ass and if you’re still tiptoeing around Saylor, it couldn’t hurt.”

“Remind me again why you’re here?”

“Best friend.” Wes pointed at himself and smirked. “Besides, it was either me or Lisa, and we both know how she is when people go on dates.”

“Good point,” I grumbled.

Lisa and Kiersten were spending the evening together. Kiersten wanted answers, and Lisa owed her some. Besides, it wasn’t my truth to tell, not by a long shot and I had my own demons to face – no chance in hell was I going to try to tackle all things Lisa as well.

I sighed. It seemed like we all needed our own night of truth. Yay. Hold me back while I pump my fist into the air and dance a little jig.

I’d met with my father earlier that morning before I went to the Home. His demand was simple.

Go with him to the media.

Or he’d expose me, as well as Lisa and Princess.

I told him to go to hell.

His way meant I had no control – my way meant that at least in the end I could control how everyone found out. The only issue was that Princess had no idea and was going to have to blindly trust me. And Lisa? Well, her family had always known where she was.

Because unlike me, she wasn’t hiding from her family or from the media, not really.

She was hiding from Him.

With Wes’s support I called every freaking news station in the area offering them the story. Let them fight over the exclusive – in the end it would be my choice.

The only catch? I didn’t want to be interviewed, not yet, and I didn’t want to bring Princess into it. I hoped it was a bit like calling my dad’s bluff – I’d show him I’m not afraid to go to the media myself, and he’d walk away.

He still hadn’t returned my phone call.

So now it was a game of chicken.

Either way. The truth was going to come out – Wes was right about that. But at least this time, when I thought about that ticking time bomb, I was clipping at the wires. I wasn’t just staring at it waiting for it to scare the shit out of me. Funny, how all it takes is a different perspective for you to snap out of a fearful situation and empower yourself.

Awesome.

Now I sounded like Wes.

The walking Hallmark card.

And shoot me now.

“Dude, the jeans don’t look that bad,” Wes scoffed. “Stop being so dramatic. Damn actors.”

I pulled the trigger and mouthed poof right in Wes’s face and smirked. His response was to tilt his head to the right, feel my forehead, and then smack me on the cheek Godfather style.

“I think you’re more fun to irritate when you have light hair.”

“Hilarious.” I threw on a black t-shirt and grabbed my keys.

“Gabe—”

“What?” We’d decided it would be weird for him to call me anything else. I was so damn relieved he didn’t want to call me Ashton because I knew it was only a matter of time before the whole freaking universe was going to be shouting that name. And I didn’t mean that because people loved me – no, I meant that just because once reporters had a bone it was chewed on until only tiny shreds remained, once the bone disappeared, they’d just cough it up and start the process all over again.

“Thanks for trusting me with her.”

I couldn’t look at him.

So I looked at the floor. “Just, don’t freak her out. She likes to play board games, but you have to move the pieces for her. And the only reason I trust you with her is because…well, you’re you. Besides, she has a thing for guys with light hair and dimples.”

Wes threw his head back and laughed. “She has good taste, that’s what you mean.”

I joined in. “Yeah man, the best.”

“So I’ll see you later at the home then?”

“Yeah.” I scratched the back of my head. Why the hell was I so nervous? I felt like a parent leaving my child for the first time. Is that what Princess had become to me? Wes was the first person other than Saylor who was going to meet her and I wasn’t even going to be there to see it happen. But, the only way I could actually go out tonight and be with Saylor – be the man she needed me to be – was if I had someone I trusted keeping their eye on Princess.

And Wes did kind of come along with two of his best security.

Add them to the security we already had at the Home, and we had six guys who wouldn’t let a soul through the doors if they as much as sneezed in the wrong direction.

“Go.” Wes pointed to the door. “Just make sure your pants are still on by the end of the night.”

“As opposed to what? Down by my ankles?”

“As opposed to what, he asks.” Wes rolled his eyes. “Need I remind you how many compromising positions I’ve walked in on in this room?”

“Oh that.” I waved my hand into the air. “Water under the bridge. I buried that mask.”

“Huh?”

“You said to fuse them together.” I flashed him a triumphant grin and waved goodbye. “So I only put together the good parts. Princess’s favorites, Saylor’s favorites, yours, Lisa’s… the rest of that shit? It was better left behind. Baggage, you would say.”

“Well, well, well.” Wes clapped. “The student becomes the teacher.”

“Bye, Sensei.” The door clicked behind me to Wes’s laughter. I had trouble fighting my own smile as I put on my baseball hat and walked down the hall.

So far, nobody had said much to me. Besides, who actually suspects that they’ve been living next door to a long lost celebrity for four years?

As unbelievable as it sounds, when you live in the real world, outside of Cali or New York, people don’t give a shit. In LA people are constantly looking for famous people, hoping to catch one as if we’re animals you have to trap or something.

But put me in Boise, Idaho? Seattle, Washington? They don’t expect it, so they just see a guy tatted up.

That being said, though, it had only been four years, so I kept the hat low, I didn’t want anything ruining this night with Saylor.

I’d never pursued a girl before.

With Princess it had just happened.

And as for the rest of the girls I slept with – it was the only way to promise myself that Ashton Hyde was gone. He would have never done that. After all, Princess was the second girl I’d ever slept with, and I’d believed I was going to marry her. I’d thought she was it.

Recreating yourself via turning into a monster? Not the smartest idea I’d ever had – especially considering putting my whole body at risk.

Shit. I’d even messed up my own suicide.

I was too naïve to even know what the hell I was doing.

I‘d cut my wrists the wrong way and hadn’t bled out.

My first tattoos covered my scars – as best they could.

Self-consciously I rubbed the scar on my right wrist as the elevator doors closed in front of me.

Five minutes.

Around seventy-two steps later… I was in front of Saylor’s door.

It was just a door.

But beyond that door?

Was not just a girl.

Inhaling, so I didn’t forget to breathe and pass out, I knocked twice and waited.

The door swung open.

Saylor was wearing a short black dress with gold high heels. Her hair was pulled back in a low messy bun and her lipstick was red.

Red.

Red.

Red.

For some reason, repeating it in my head just made me all the more aroused over the fact that those perfect lips, her perfect mouth, was red, and it was going to be pressed right against mine.

That is if she didn’t impale me with something first – we did have a tendency to fight a bit.

“You look…” I licked my lips and let my eyes roam over her body for a second time. “Stunning.”

Her mouth widened into a smile.

Holy shit.

I coughed and looked away. Freaking gorgeous was more like it.

“Thank you.” She stepped toward me, making me naturally step backward and nearly collide with someone else walking down the hall.

The girl almost face-planted on the wall then flipped me off.

“Sorry,” I croaked.

Saylor smirked and locked the door to her room. “So, where are we going?”

“Ah.” I grabbed her hand. “So the lady’s curious.”

“The lady’s intrigued.”

“Intrigued?” I stopped walking. “Not excited?”

Her poker face told me nothing.

I traced my finger along her smooth jaw line and then reached for the back of her head, pulling her into my space as I blew a kiss across her lips. “And now? Now are you excited?”

“You’re getting warmer,” she whispered.

I sucked on her bottom lip then let my mouth hover over hers as I answered, “I want you to be on fire. Not just warm, but blazing. Not intrigued, but impressed. Not just excited. I want you enthralled. And at the end of the night, what I really want…” I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t kiss her again. “…is for those tears to be washed away from your memory for good.”

“Why’s that?” Her body arched toward me.

“I want old memories gone… bad ones. So I can create new ones. Ones so powerful that the old ones don’t even stand a chance.”

“So what are we waiting for?”

Smiling, I stepped back and reached for her hand. “Good point.”

Chapter Forty-Two

He seemed normal but I had so many open-ended questions with absolutely no clue how to get the answers. I was torn between wanting to just have a normal date – and a desire to shake him until all the answers fell from his lips. Even if it hurt to hear, I had to know. —Saylor

Saylor

I let him kiss me.

Oh, who was I kidding? Not kissing him would have been a crime against my own body. I liked him. I more than liked him, and not kissing him just because I was still a bit hurt, upset? That was a total girl move. And I hated girls like that. The whiny types that withheld all things physical until they got their way. Yeah, it also meant that at the end of the day I might need a pint of chocolate ice cream from all the emotional damage done to me, but hey, at least I had one kiss.

I wasn’t sure when I’d started looking at it like that.

Maybe it was when he sang his song yesterday afternoon.

Or maybe it was when my mom started talking about endings and beginnings.

I was in charge of mine – my end or my beginning. I could end things with him now and hate myself for the rest of my life. Or I could choose to do the scary thing and jump off that cliff right along with him.

I chose the cliff.

And the minute I leapt – I knew it was right.

That’s how risk works. You don’t know it’s the right choice until you’re freefalling, and even then you still have butterflies – but at least you were the one to take that step over the ledge.

I wasn’t pushed. I was proud of myself, for being able to come to that conclusion – pretty sure I had my mom to thank for that.

That was me. Going on a date with him.

In my head, I was sitting at the piano, authoring my own story, the story Gabe encouraged me to play. And the music – damn, but it was good.

“You seem deep in thought,” Gabe said once we were a few minutes into our drive. I tried desperately not to look at him. I knew he was still the same guy, but he made me nervous. This guy was different than before, there was a sense of raw vulnerability about him. No layers remained. They’d been peeled back and destroyed.

“Dangerous. I know.”

“I’m glad you said yes.” Gabe cleared his throat, steering the car onto the freeway. “And I’m going to start right now.”

“Start? What do you mean start?”

“When I was five, I had a pet rat. His name was Thomas. I wanted a train set. My parents got me a rat, go figure. Since the train set I wanted was Thomas, I just decided to name the rat that.” He shrugged, “He got a tumor when I was six. We took him to the vet. He died in my arms.”

“Gabe, I’m—”

“Thomas number two was a Chihuahua, who I can only imagine was actually birthed in the pits of hell and then sent to earth to set about destroying every single piece of furniture and every shoe in my bedroom.”

I covered my face with my hands to keep from laughing. “Did he die?”

“Of course not.” Gabe’s voice was irritated. “He’s like a cat, has nine lives, maybe more. He’s broken almost every bone in his tiny possessed little body, and is totally blind in one eye. He walks with a limp and sleeps in my old bedroom. Refuses to go anywhere else.”

Why did I suddenly feel like buying him a nice big dog like a golden retriever or a collie?

“I got my start doing hair product commercials. My dad always wanted to be an actor but could never make it, so he pushed me into it at an early age. When I was thirteen and doing my first movie, he locked me in my trailer after one of the older actresses approached me and offered her services for oral sex.”

“Uhhh.”

“I was twelve freaking years old,” he ground out. “And she was twice my age – literally. I hated my dad a bit after that. He said in the entertainment business I’d never survive if I was innocent.”

“Gabe—”

“He introduced me to drugs. At sixteen I’d already done seven movies. I was on my way to burnout when I met Princess. I was dropping my second album and seriously starting to hate my life. It helped that I had Mel – Lisa. She’d had a crush on me when we were little. We were neighbors and all that, but I never even kissed her. I knew who I wanted. And she wanted me too.”

He cleared his throat.

Rain pelted against the window.

“I believed in true love – I still do. Sunsets still take my breath away, pizza makes me a bit sick, but I’ll eat it. I love dancing almost as much as I love playing instruments. I can play almost all instruments just in case you were wondering. It was how I passed my time when my dad would lock me in the room for going against his wishes.”

“And your mom?” I asked, looking out the window. Where the heck was he taking me? We were officially outside of Seattle.

“She loves green.” He shrugged. “Anything green. So she let him do what he wanted because she got a happy husband and lots of houses out of the deal.”

He drove over the floating bridge into Bellevue.

“I had a twin sister,” he whispered. “She died from SIDS. My mom says I was in the crib with her when it happened. Apparently she’d been dead for about three hours before my mom came in to check on us.”

My breath hitched.

“She’d been drinking.” Gabe swore and hit the steering wheel. “I hate the Oregon Ducks.”

“Okay…”

“No. Seriously. Hate. Them.” His muscle clenched. “It’s the only damn sweatshirt Princess will wear.”

I reached across the consul and grabbed Gabe’s free hand, clenching it within my own. “Why is it the only sweatshirt she’ll wear?

“Because…” His eyes were like glass, he blinked a few times. “It used to be mine. I was wearing it the night she hit the tree.”

“Oh.”

“It’s the same way with her pink scarf. For some reason the only thing she remembers is that she forgot her pink scarf – not her helmet. I don’t know why she fixates on certain things. But she has to have her pink scarf tied to her wheelchair at all times or she has a meltdown.”

“And the singing?” I cleared my throat. “Is it the same with the singing?”

Gabe took the second Bellevue exit that led to the west side. Curious, I looked out the window and tried to keep my heart in check. He was cutting himself open, bleeding himself dry, and waiting for me to either accept or reject him.

He was brave.

Braver than me.

“The minute she hears my voice, she’s taken to someplace safe, different. Stupid, right?”

I turned and looked at him, focused on his full lips, gorgeous mouth, strong jaw.

“No.” I squeezed his hand. “Not stupid. If positions were switched, I can imagine, hearing your voice would be the most soothing thing in the world. Like the quiet after a storm, the peace you crave in a lifetime full of noise. You’re her peace.”

Gabe nodded. “I guess that’s something, right? I both destroy and bring peace?”

“You didn’t cause the destruction, Gabe. You were just an unfortunate victim – and sometimes that’s worse than being the cause.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything as he drove the car around a curvy road and then pulled up to an immaculate house.

“Where are we?”

Gabe turned off the car and stared straight ahead. “Seattle was far enough away that it made sense to disappear here, but…” His nostrils flared. “She’d seen this thing on HGTV about homes in Bellevue and fell in love.”

I looked back at the house. My heart pounded. “Gabe…”

“I bought it.” He clenched the keys in his hand. “For her. I bought it for her.”

I didn’t want to know, yet I had to. “Was she able to see it, before?”

“No.” Gabe’s voice was filled with pain. “She never saw it. I was going to fly her up here as a surprise.”

We sat in silence. He stared at the house. I stared at him.

“So.” Gabe nodded. “This is it. You know how people always come with baggage? I don’t have baggage. I have a freaking house. I don’t have a closet full of skeletons. I have seven bedrooms full of them. And I can literally walk up those stairs and open the door and let you see all of them, but I’ll have nothing left. This is the last possible thing I have protecting myself. I have no more masks, no more façades, no jokes, no personalities, nothing. Absolutely nothing. This house? This is it.”

I released his hand and reached for the door. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

His head snapped to the side, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. “Pardon?”

“We didn’t drive all the way out here to stare at a house.” I stepped out onto the gravel. “We’re going in.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Gabe asked, doubt lacing his every word. “This is heavy stuff, Saylor. I wouldn’t blame you for running, for getting back into that car and deciding it wasn’t worth it.”

“I’m falling.” I shrugged. “Not fallen, as in I’ve already landed, but falling, in the process. I’m falling with you, not jumping after you. Don’t you think it’s about time you let someone share the load?” I offered a small smile. “Besides, who actually likes jumping out of a plane by themselves? Tandem, all the way.”

“One day…” Gabe whispered. “When my heart is mine again. When I’m not sharing it with a dying girl… I’ll give you everything.”

“Gabe,” I said, sighing. “Right now? I’m perfectly happy with the pieces. No matter how broken they may be.”

“Damn, you really mean that, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I do.” I reached for him.

He took my hand without hesitation. We walked up the stairs together, slowly approaching a house that was getting bigger and bigger by the second.

From the outside, it was a two story masterpiece. He put the key in the lock and the door creaked open.

He turned the lights on.

And I gasped.

It wasn’t just beautiful, it was out of this world. Like something I’d only ever seen on TV or in the movies.

Exposed wood beams lined the ceiling, creating a trail from the living room into an open floor plan kitchen. The colors were a combination of white and wood. A stone and copper fireplace dominated the center of the room with a plush white couch wrapped halfway around the front. Splashes of red – throw pillows and blankets – decorated the living room area. I stepped further into the hall and saw another open room, this one with vaulted ceilings.

And a baby grand piano waited in the middle.

“Afraid?” Gabe’s voice whispered in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.