Текст книги "Sunburst"

Автор книги: Rachel Higginson

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

Chapter Fourteen

A week later I was still reeling from my confrontation with Seth. I hadn’t seen him since, but I definitely had not stopped thinking about him. I couldn’t get the desperation of his words out of my head or the isolated indifference of his eyes flashing at me every time I closed mine.

It was like he was this shell of a being and I didn’t know which side of him to accept. Trust the words that I wanted to believe? Or the eyes that told me everything he uttered was a complete lie.

But always I would go back to those moments before he disappeared, to when he asked me, made me promise, not to give up on him.

He knew what he was doing then and how it would change him. But he had believed that whatever we had was stronger than all that.

And I hadn’t even told him I loved him.

But even without saying the words out loud, they were true.

Tristan and I had been spending a large amount of time together, just like we used to. I had scaled back with him when Seth started having such a huge issue with him. But we didn’t have that barrier anymore.

Except it wasn’t like it was before. I wondered if Tristan really had only been infatuated with me because of Seth, like his turf was being threatened or something. Now that I was technically a free, er, free-ish woman, I wasn’t as exciting anymore?

I didn’t know.

But with all my recent developments in the feelings department for Seth I had to assume this was a good thing. Life seemed less complicated at the same time it was infinitely more so.

And then there was Jude. The bane of my existence. He was miserable and intrusive. And always there.

Always.

Like right now, while I was trying to eat lunch, he was hovering. “What?” I finally shrieked in irritation.

“Just making sure you don’t choke,” he smirked. “You’re taking really big bites. Are you starving? Do you have a tape worm? Why are you eating like that?”

“Oh, my gosh,” I hissed. I felt my face start to glow from embarrassment and I stamped the instinct down– way down. “I’m hungry, geez.”

“No, I’m hungry,” Jude commented dramatically. “You’re trying to gain ten pounds before the bell rings.”

“I’m going to kill you,” I growled. My face was getting harder to control. We were surrounded by a lunch room so full that I would not be able to explain my glow worm talents to. Why was he egging me on?

“You don’t mean that,” he grinned.

“I do,” I assured him. “I mean that. Just wait until I’m eighteen.”

“Stella, if we both make it until you’re eighteen, I’ll hand you the sword.”

He said it so candidly, so loudly that I snapped my head around and gave him my full attention, quietly asking him to explain. “Why do you say that?”

Jude finally gained some sense, and looked around at the table of my friends pretending not to listen to us. He leaned in to me with his minty-cigarette scent and asked in a quiet voice, “Want to go outside with me?” He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and tapped them against the heel of his hand.

I sighed. “I guess.” He did seem to be the chattiest while he was smoking. I didn’t understand it, but I put up with it for my occasional answers.

I avoided the questioning stares from Piper and Tristan and silently got up and followed Jude out the door, tossing my trash on the way. I slipped out of the cafeteria hopefully unseen, as I didn’t really want to be connected with Jude. The entire student body knew why he was leaving early and I had a feeling the teachers were starting to catch on.

Sure, kids smoked at parties and on the weekends. But this was a school filled mostly with athletes. Jude’s chain-smoking habit was literally unheard of  in this environment.

He pushed the outside door open; we stepped into a beautiful spring day. The wind was strong and cool, but the sun was brazen and hot, standing unapologetically in the sky. I tilted my head up, basking in the warmth on my face, after enduring the chill that came with our nearly windowless school building. I wondered how Jude felt about the sun. Jupiter’s stories about Jude’s youth came back to me and I suddenly couldn’t get them out of my head. What kind of kid could survive a lifetime of Darkness?

What kind of child could live without ever knowing the Light?

Jude leaned back against his favorite oak tree, in full view of the school building and anyone walking by and pulled out a cigarette.

“Got a light?” He teased, waggling his eyebrows at me.

“I’m not supporting that habit,” I replied primly. I felt like a prude. And then I hated that I was embarrassed by that. What was wrong with following rules and having a quality of conduct standard? Nothing. And I had never felt bad about it until Jude showed up.

“Why?” he chuckled. “Afraid it will kill me?”

I rolled my eyes. No, it wouldn’t kill him. It probably wouldn’t even seriously bother him before his supernatural internal organs already started to heal from it.

So I crossed my arms showing off how uncomfortable I was to be around him alone and nodded. “Yes,” I agreed just to be contrary.

“You’re worried about me?” he asked again, only this time there was actual curiosity in his voice.

In response I let out an exasperated sigh and rolled my eyes. “Why do you think we’re both going to die before I’m eighteen?’ My voice was quiet and broken, completely giving away my fear. It was frustrating, but the questions were necessary.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” he shrugged and inhaled deeply. The smoke escaped his mouth in a long stream of white. He seemed casual, but his tone was callous.

“Then why did I come out here with you?” I demanded.

“To keep me company?”

I laughed before I could stop myself. “Who are you, Jude Michaels? How did you, of all people, get roped into this contract?”

He looked at me through the haze of smoke and let out a slow breath. “Obviously, I’m the right age for high school.” There were such strong tones of bitterness in his voice, I actually took a step back.

“Is that the only reason?”

He let out a dark chuckle, “You’re not seriously trying to psycho-analyze me are you?”

“Don’t be a bastard,” I shot back quickly. I was really annoyed by his deflection, more so than usual.

“Such a mouth,” he tsked. His eyes invariably fell to the subject in question, and lingered there. I shuddered from the vulnerable nakedness I felt when he looked at me like that. My stomach was queasy; I didn’t know whether to run away or slap him.

“You don’t know me, Jude,” I reminded him.

“And you don’t know me, Stella,” he countered with his cold eyes meeting mine again.

With that lovely conversation finisher, I turned around and stomped back inside. He was infuriating. He was constantly crowding me, but the minute I tried to make our situation anything but wretched, he turned into the evil overlord I knew he was.

Tristan was on the other side of the door, waiting for me. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I sighed.

“Everything alright?” His bright green eyes were pinched with concern.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Jude was just…. I don’t know, I thought he was going to give me some answers about Seth, but he was just playing games, I guess.”

“He’s kind of an asshole, right?”

I laughed. “Right.”

Tristan’s expression became more serious and I thought he was going to warn me about Jude– again; but he had something else entirely on his mind. “Hey, so I know we have practice after school, but I was wondering, if maybe, you wanted to have dinner with my family tonight? They haven’t seen you in a while.”

That was true, they hadn’t. And a night at Tristan’s house actually sounded amazing.

“That sounds great,” I agreed quickly.

“You don’t have training or anything?” his voice dropped to a whisper.

Matching his tone I explained, “No, the missions I’ve been going on with Nate and Serena have taken the place of training. And besides, I can always meet up with them after, if they need me.”

Tristan’s jaw tightened and his neck muscles were suddenly bulging, but he nodded. “Well, I’ll let my mom now you’re coming then.”

“K.”

And then we parted ways…. awkwardly. I decided I wanted to talk to him about that tonight. There was a time in my life, not that long ago, where Tristan was my epicenter, where my entire world revolved around him and our relationship.

It just wasn’t like that anymore. And I didn’t know why. Maybe it was as simple as we were growing apart. Maybe it was more complex and I’d somehow jilted him by falling accidentally in love with Seth– the boy I couldn’t have anymore.

Maybe it was all him.

I wasn’t sure, but I needed to find out.

–

“Stella!” Tristan’s mom, Allison, greeted me as soon as I walked in the door. “It has been too long! Where have you been?”

I smiled under her over the top affection and greeted her with a hug. She squeezed me tightly to her and then kept her arm around me as she walked me inside her house.

Tristan’s house was a huge farmhouse that was done completely in comfort and easiness. I loved it over here. It was basically my second home. It always smelled like baking or delicious homemade somethings. It was crazy loud– all the time. And it was consistently messy.

Allison was a stay at home mom. But even with two boys already off to college she had a hard time keeping up with everyone. Tristan was the third child with two older brothers and three siblings younger, two brothers, one sister. And their names all start with a t and an r: Trader, Trenton, Tristan, Trevor, Troy and Truman.

The crazy thing was that Allison kept talking about wanting another baby.

Being an only child, and coming from a culture that rarely had more than one child per family, that was insanity to me. But it somehow worked for the Shields. And even in the chaos of their rowdy household, there was such a feeling of peace and acceptance that it was hard not to fall in love with all of them.

Tristan’s dad stepped out of his office and offered me a huge, welcoming smile. He was exactly what Tristan would look like one day– tall, athletic, dark, almost black hair kept short and manageable, with piercing green eyes that seemed to see deeper than surface level.

Allison didn’t let me get waylaid with his greeting though, she kept pulling me toward the kitchen where she was determined she would teach me how to cook. I promised her there was a defect in my genetic code, but she kept dismissing that as an excuse.

Allison and Brian were high school sweethearts that actually graduated from Mead. They both went off to college at the University of Lincoln, got married right out of college, and then moved back home to farm and raise their family. They were the poster children for small town living and they had quiet expectations that their children would all follow a similar path. They weren’t pushy about it, but anyone who knew the Shields could tell.

Trader and Trent had gone off to UNL on football scholarships without even questioning the family manifesto. But Tristan was having doubts, and I didn’t blame him there. It was easy to blame his parents for putting too much pressure on him to be like them, but as soon as I would walk into their house, I always questioned my disappointment with their confined expectations for their kids. This seemed so perfect to me, living like this, with homemade delicious dinners and all of my children crowding around a happy table. It was so idyllic. I had a hard time taking Tristan’s side when I compared it to my own, very empty future.

Even if Seth and I survived this current predicament, I would most likely live out my days childless. I was the Protector of Earth. Where other Stars could take a sabbatical off the battlefield for a few years to raise a child, I didn’t have that luxury. Serena was filling in now, but when I had all my powers, I was expected to do this job full time.

And there would be no warm house or full table to sit down to. I would be spending the rest of my life in hiding. With or without Seth, it was going to be a lonely life.

I hadn’t really thought how lonely until now.

One day I would have to give up Tristan and his crazy family. One day I’d have to walk away from these beautiful people to keep them safe. And away from Piper. And my parents.

I’d already lost Seth– for now.

But seriously, how much more would I have to give up in order to do my job properly?

And in the end would I feel like I’d lost my soul too?

I shook my head and tuned back into Allison who was asking me to whisk her gravy. She must have had a very long day. While there were things where she demanded my help, her famous gravy was not typically one of them.

But then she disappeared.

I watched her retreating back sprint up the staircase; my mouth dropped open. I looked from the stairs to the gravy, back to the stairs and back to the gravy.

“How did this happen to me?” I demanded to the empty kitchen.

“You have got to learn to put your foot down, Stel,” Tristan chided me from the doorway. He had already showered and changed clothes. “She is going to continue to walk all over you until you stand up for yourself.”

“Easy for you to say; she’s your mom. I can’t stand up to her. I’m not physically capable.” I inhaled his freshly showered smell and tingles erupted in the lower part of my belly.

It was nice of him to invite me over for dinner; but seriously, couldn’t we have suffered through our sweaty practice clothes and dinner together?

Those thoughts fled my mind as soon as I turned around to face him. His jeans were slung low on his waist and his t-shirt seemed just a teensy bit too small, but somehow he still made it work. More than work. Probably it was his flat stomach and unfair six pack. His shortly buzzed hair was still glistening with water remnants and he was barefoot.

All that combined together made the most delicious picture of him I’d ever seen; I was even more confused with what to do.

What was it about boys and being barefoot that got to me?

Possibly, I had a weird foot fetish.

“Need help?” he offered.

“Yep,” I grinned at him. When he walked over to see why, I handed him the metal whisk, slapped him on the back and shot him a wink. “I’m hoping you have better luck than me.”

Then I disappeared back to the long table in the center of the room that somehow fit eight to ten people at it, depending on the night, and which of her children’s friends Allison had invited over to dinner.

I picked a crouton out of the salad bowl and watched Tristan work his gravy magic. Tristan half-turned around to talk to me while he whisked away at the gloppy mess I’d managed to make in under fifteen seconds. But Truman walked through the door before he got a chance to say anything.

I smiled at Tru and waved at her to sit down. She was gorgeous in her ten-year-old glory. Her hair was cut in a short bob that framed her cute face, and her eyes were a bright blue that matched her mom’s shade more than her dad’s. Her nose was also a replica of her mom, which was good for her because a Shields man had a very prominent nose that would have done her delicate face a complete injustice. And she had the prettiest full lips I’d ever seen.

Tristan had the same ones.

“Stella!” She squealed at me.

“Tru!” I squealed back. I stood up and pulled her into a warm hug. Immediately I felt hot all over with affection. I loved this girl. And no matter what weirdness was happening outside my world, I didn’t want to neglect the people I cared about. I pulled her into a chair next to mine and then demanded, “Alright, give me all the gossip. What’s happening in the fourth grade?”

She rolled her eyes at me. “I’d much rather hear about the gossip in the eleventh grade.”

Pretending innocence, I looked shocked and said, “But there isn’t any gossip in the eleventh grade! We’re much too mature for that.”

Tristan snorted and Truman giggled. “That’s not what I heard,” she said with attitude.

“Oh no,” I groaned. “What have you heard?”

Allison walked in at that moment. She’d run a brush through her light brown hair and put on a little makeup. She’d also changed her shirt. She looked like a new woman. I was really impressed.

“Stella, I wanted you to make the gravy!” she whined when she saw her son hard at work and alone over the stove.

“Shh,” I shushed her on a laugh. “Truman’s about to spill all the good gossip.”

“Ooh,” Allison cooed. “I want to hear.” She slid into a chair across the table and propped her

chin in both hands and waited patiently for Truman to begin.

Gossip was definitely the favorite pastime of every single inhabitant of our six-hundred population town. We developed a thirst for it young, and it grew to be almost an obsession by the time you were popping out babies and tending to the house. Truman was on the cusp of middle school, just learning how fun it could be to sit around with your girlfriends and dish details. As long as it wasn’t done maliciously, it was also something her mom fully promoted and grilled her on every night. I couldn’t help but get into the excitement of it over here. My mom wasn’t exactly the gossiping kind, but I’d still picked up the bad habit. Allison and Truman were my fix.

Loving the attention, Truman began, “Well, word is there’s trouble in paradise with Piper

Cassidy and Lincoln Chase.” This was a big piece for Truman; I wondered how she had heard about it before me.

Allison gasped with the perfect amount of outrage, “Why? They’re so cute together.”

“I don’t know,” Tru shrugged. “All I know is that they are not a very happy couple. Or that’s what Becca Henry says anyway.”

Bree’s little sister. I should have known! But why did Bree know more than me?

“It’s probably because she’s such a b-b– bee sting,” Tristan commentated from the stove. His mother shot him a drilling glare before she returned her attention to Truman.

But Tru was looking at Tristan. “Why would you call her a bee sting? I think she’s nice.”

I rolled my eyes at Tristan’s creativity and stuck up for my other best friend, “She is nice. She’s my best friend. My real best friend.” I winked at Tru again and she giggled.

Tristan snorted again.

“Then you tell us what’s happening with Lincoln and her,” Allison pressed. Her eyes lit up with expectation and I felt the sting of disappointment hit my stomach.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” I admitted. “Last I knew they were happy. This is a surprise to me.”

“Well, maybe it’s not true then,” Allison offered sweetly.

“Maybe. Tristan, have you heard anything?”

“Oh yeah,” he groaned. “Lincoln’s calls me every night and talks to me for hours about it.”

Ok, sarcastic much?

We ignored him after that.

Allison looked at me for one more moment with narrowed eyes and pursed lips before turning back to Tru. “Tell us what else!” Then she looked at me, “She won’t talk like this unless you’re here. Usually she just tells me to go away.”

Tru blushed a pretty shade of red and so did Allison. Because even though she was trying to make it a joke, I could tell it was really bothering her that her ten year old wouldn’t open up to her anymore.

I tried to help out a little by saying, “Tru, you have to tell your mom the gossip! That’s like the number one rule of sharing. I tell my mom the gossip all the time.”

“Really?” she asked a little disbelievingly.

“Really,” I nodded. “Only my mom never knows anything about what I’m talking about. You’re so lucky that you have a mom who already knows who everybody is and will understand what you’re talking about.”

Truman smiled at me a little wickedly; I just hoped that worked. It was definitely important to share the gossip with her mom, just in case anything weird was going on at school. This way would ensure that Allison would be kept up to speed, for at least another year. Then it was up to Allison; I was out.

“Ok, what else?” I demanded, smacking my hand on the table forcefully.

She turned a deeper shade of red and avoided my gaze.

Oh no.

“Tell me!” I coaxed with a nonthreatening smile on my face.

“Well, there was this one rumor that your boyfriend ran away from home, and joined some kind of gang. And now you’re going off the deep end and hanging out with kids who smoke, and that you’re skipping school and stuff.” She said it in a rush of breathlessness and I almost smiled.

Almost.

“What?” I gasped. Tristan burst into laughter at the stove. “Gah! When gossip comes back to bite you in the…. eye!” I edited for Truman’s benefit.

“Stella, you have a boyfriend?” Allison sounded outraged. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was mad that I hadn’t told her, or that I would dare date someone other than Tristan.

“No!” I quickly assured her. “There was a boy that was kind of interested in me, but he…. moved away.”

“Oh,” she sat back in her chair clearly relieved.

“We were never official though.” I reinforced that whole point one more time, lest Brian come in and get in on this action too. “And I’m not skipping school. I was sick for a few days, but I never intentionally skipped class.”

Allison’s brow smoothed out and then she pinned me with a, “What about hanging out with kids that smoke?”

“There’s one boy that smokes,” I clarified. “And I don’t so much as hang out with him as I can’t get away from him. He follows me around.”

“Like a dog,” Tristan grumbled. And then he announced, “Gravy’s done!”

The kitchen became a flurry of movement as Troy and Trevor seemed to appear from thin air; Truman ran off to find Brian, and Tristan and his mom brought all the food over and set it strategically in between the mass of place settings. Then came the scramble for a chair to sit in, which was a lot like musical chairs, except there were enough for everyone, and the object was more about getting to sit by who you wanted to and avoiding sitting by a parent.

Dinner went the same way. There was lots of shouting conversations and laughter. It felt so nice to be surrounded by Tristan and his family again. There was just such palpable warmth in this family that I wanted to soak it all up and keep it with me forever.

After dinner Allison shooed her younger kids away to go do homework and made me promise to come back on Sunday for their big family dinner. I was feeling absolutely content after the delicious meal and the happy conversation, that I immediately agreed.

“Oh, Tristan, before Stella goes home, why don’t you go show her the basement,” Allison suggested coyly.

This was her attempt to get us alone. I held the secret belief that she thought if she could put us together in enough dark, isolated places, we would accidentally fall into each other and start making out.

Ok, it had almost happened several times, so she wasn’t far off base. But it was funny coming from his mom.

“Do you want to see our basement?” Tristan asked me with an amused eyebrow raise.

“More than anything,” I smiled back.

He turned back to roll his eyes at his mom, but then took my hand and led me toward the downstairs.

I reminded myself that this was good news. I wanted to be alone with him. I wanted to talk to him. I just had to find the courage to want to hear the answers to all my questions.