Текст книги "Darkest Before Dawn"
Автор книги: Maya Banks
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Текущая страница: 26 (всего у книги 29 страниц)
CHAPTER 44
HONOR’S mother appeared on the back porch, a frown on her face. “There’s a man here to see you. He says it’s important.”
Honor glanced up, trepidation skittering up her spine. But no, she had no reason to fear. Her family was here. Nothing would happen to her.
“Show him back here,” Honor said in a low voice. “And please. Give us privacy until I know what it is he has to say.”
Her mother looked as though she’d argue, but resolve was centered in Honor’s eyes and so, tight-lipped, her mother nodded and disappeared, leaving Honor to wait and worry over her unexpected visitor.
A few moments later, the door opened and for a moment she refused to look up. Then she swallowed, refusing to be the coward she’d been for so long, and she lifted her gaze, shock hitting her like a bolt of lightning.
“Conrad?”
He nodded grimly.
“We will be just inside,” her mother said, more to Conrad than to Honor. It was a clear warning, one that brought a small smile to Conrad’s lips.
“I have no intention of hurting your daughter, Mrs. Cambridge,” Conrad said gently. “But I would like to speak to her privately.”
Cynthia nodded and reluctantly withdrew, though Honor knew the entire family would be gathered just inside the doorway, watching them the entire time.
“You look like hell,” he said bluntly as he took a seat across from the swing Honor occupied.
“I could say the same for you,” she said dryly.
“Touché,” he said wryly. “But you concern me, Honor. You don’t look well at all.”
She arched one eyebrow. “Why are you here, Conrad?”
“I came for many reasons,” he said. “I came to thank you for saving my life. I came to apologize for failing you. But the most important reason I came is to tell you that Hancock did not betray you, Honor.”
She stiffened, her gaze becoming hard and impenetrable. “I have no desire to talk about Hancock. If that’s all you’ve come to talk about, you can leave now.”
Conrad’s expression became as hard and as determined as hers. He leaned forward, his features savage.
“I will not leave until I say what I have to say. What you do with what I have to tell you is solely up to you, but I will tell you what really happened.”
Honor closed her eyes as grief consumed her all over again. In the weeks since she’d discovered she was pregnant with Hancock’s child, she’d worked so hard to put Hancock and his betrayal behind her. To look forward, not back. To concentrate on the tiny, innocent life inside her that she’d protect with her dying breath.
“Say what you have to say, then,” she said hoarsely. “Then get out.”
“You know he changed the plan. That we stayed up all night planning an alternative. And then he drugged you and he hated it. He loathed himself for what he knew he must do. For two reasons: One, Maksimov ordered you drugged and we were forced to carry out the charade. And two, if you were conscious, there was no way Maksimov would see what we needed him to see. You’re too honest, Honor. There is no way when Maksimov looked at you he would’ve seen the terrified, beaten down, and broken captive that he’d expected. He’d’ve seen the courageous, defiant woman who’d spit in his eye before ever allowing him to intimidate her.”
“Which he did,” Honor pointed out. “I’d call that a waste of a good night’s sleep.”
Conrad shook his head. “You don’t understand. He couldn’t tell you the plan. God, he wanted to. He hated the idea of deceiving you when you’d given him your trust. When he’d vowed not to betray your trust. But too much was riding on you not knowing. You had to have no knowledge or it could compromise the entire mission and it could get us all killed. And Hancock made it clear that you were the sole priority. That even if it meant letting Maksimov get away, you were to be protected at all costs.”
Honor sent him a puzzled look because she didn’t understand any of it.
“We planned an ambush. The original plan, you see, was to turn you over to Maksimov as a way of gaining access to him. To finally be part of his inner circle after years of working through middlemen like Bristow. He would turn you over to ANE while we worked to systematically dismantle his entire operation from the inside. Every player, every source of crime. We wanted his entire network destroyed, and then we were going to take him out. And that was going to take time. A lot of time. You would have been dead by ANE’s hands before we completed our destruction of Maksimov’s entire organization.
“But Hancock decided against that. Bristow set up the exchange and Maksimov dictated the terms, but we planned an ambush. We were only going to get close enough to take Maksimov out and then get you the hell out of there no matter what it took. He didn’t care that the connections would still be there, that someone else would simply pick up the reins of Maksimov’s empire. He only wanted him taken out and you safe and then he was going to walk away. With you. And let someone else take on the task of taking down Maksimov’s vast empire.”
“Then how . . . ?”
Her brow furrowed, not understanding any of it. She’d awakened in a cage, Maksimov taunting her. He’d tortured her for days. And then she’d awakened on a plane with Hancock, who was taking her to ANE.
“Maksimov obviously had more than one mole planted in Bristow’s organization. We took out the one we were able to ferret out. And he would have reported Hancock losing his shit and killing Bristow when he tried to rape you. So he ambushed us instead of the other way around. We lost Mojo,” Conrad said painfully. “Viper and Cope were both badly injured and Hancock was shot twice. He nearly died and even then, Maksimov had to pry you from his grasp. Hancock called in every favor ever owed to him from an organization where much bad blood exists. We aren’t direct enemies, but neither are we allies. Hancock didn’t care. He had no pride when it came to you. He begged them to help him find and save you. He tortured himself endlessly, knowing you were in Maksimov’s hands, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He blamed himself. He believes he betrayed you. That he failed you. Every single thing you believe of him, he believes it too. But he didn’t betray you, Honor. The mission was FUBAR. We lost much and yet he wouldn’t stand down when he desperately needed to be in a damn hospital.”
Honor shook her head in bewilderment. “I don’t understand.” It seemed it was all she was capable of saying. It was too much to take in, to have what she’d believed and grieved over for months change in seconds.
“He loves you, Honor,” Conrad said gently. “Hancock hasn’t ever loved anyone in his life except his foster family. He’s never been loved by anyone except his foster family. He’s never felt he deserved to be loved. He believes himself to be a monster. He believes himself to be worse than Maksimov. He’s dying with every passing day. He’s grieving, tormenting himself, loving you and yet knowing he’s not worthy of you, that he doesn’t deserve you. He let you down. He betrayed you. He allowed Maksimov to hurt you and he will never forgive himself for that.”
“Why are you telling me all this?” she whispered.
“Because I believe you’re hurting just as much as he is. I believe you love him as much as he loves you. I believe you’re both dying and that you’ve given up. And I know you’re the only one who can save him. I couldn’t allow you to believe what he wouldn’t even defend himself against, because he believes it all. That he betrayed you. Let you down. Hurt you. Manipulated you. Lied to you. But Honor, you didn’t see him when he told us the mission had changed. You didn’t see the determination in his eyes when he told us that you were the sole priority, that your safety took precedence above all else. He didn’t give one fuck about the mission or whether he was successful in taking Maksimov down. He tried to do the honorable thing and spare you but still take out a serious threat to thousands of innocent lives. And he lost everything as a result.”
Tears spilled down Honor’s cheeks and she hugged herself, rocking back and forth in the swing.
“Why didn’t he explain? On the plane. After he’d freed me from Maksimov. Why did he let me believe he was delivering me to ANE? Why didn’t he at least try?”
“Because you believed it. You weren’t there, Honor. You were a million miles away and you wouldn’t have heard a word he had to say. And it’s hard to defend or explain when you feel that you are guilty of every single sin you accused him of. He didn’t defend himself because he knew he was guilty of the crimes committed against you. And he loves you as much as he hates himself.”
“Where is he?” she demanded.
Conrad closed his eyes. “I don’t know. He disappeared after Maksimov and ANE were taken down. Titan is no more. We all walked away. We’re done. He’s a lone wolf, Honor. He’s gone off somewhere to die a slow, painful death because he can’t live with what he did to you. But I know this much. He loves you with every breath in his body. I’ve worked with him, followed him, been loyal to him for over a decade. And before you, every single characteristic attributed to him was true. He was more machine than man. No emotion. He had his own code and he lived by it. The greater good. And sometimes that means sacrificing innocents. He hated it, but knew it was a necessary evil.
“But you changed everything. You changed him. Suddenly he wanted to be the man you saw when you looked at him. He wanted to be better. For you. You showed him how to love. How to feel. How to be human. And he’ll never love again. He’ll love you forever just as he’ll hate himself for eternity for what he did to you.”
“Then how can I find him?” she asked in frustration. “Damn it, Conrad, you can’t come here and tell me all this and then walk away without giving me something. I won’t let him do this to himself. I won’t. I love him. Do you have any idea how much it hurt when I believed that he’d used me, that he’d betrayed me and allowed Maksimov to torture me?”
Conrad’s eyes were haunted. “I failed you too, Honor. Not just Hancock. We all failed you.”
“Bullshit,” she said angrily.
Sorrow swamped her eyes. “I’m so sorry about Mojo. He was a good man. He didn’t deserve to die because of me. Because Hancock changed the mission. Are Viper and Cope okay now?” she asked anxiously.
Conrad smiled gently, reaching for her hand to give it a light squeeze. “Always worried for others. You are a remarkable woman, Honor. My life is better for having known you. And if you can save Hancock, you will have my eternal gratitude. Yes, Mojo was a good man, but he died peacefully. He was given redemption, something none of us ever dreamed we would be given. And Viper and Cope are fine. I don’t know where Hancock is, I swear it. But I can point you in the direction of people who might know or at the very least can help you find him.”
She leaned forward eagerly. “Tell me.”
“I’ll bring you there myself,” he said. “I won’t send you off without protection. And it’s not far at all. Dover, Tennessee, just a few miles south of the Kentucky border. How soon can you be ready?”
She was already rising from the swing. “Give me five minutes.”
Conrad smiled to himself as he watched her stalk away, her eyes fierce with purpose. The dull, lifeless look that clung to her like a second skin had evaporated and she looked like the Honor he’d first met. Full of fight and fire. Courage and bravery.
If anyone was going to save Hancock, it was going to be her. He almost pitied the man. Almost. Because he was never going to know what hit him when Honor Cambridge ran him to ground.
CHAPTER 45
HONOR’S family made it clear that she was going nowhere with a man they didn’t know, and she damn sure wasn’t going alone with Conrad. Brad insisted on accompanying her, and Conrad and she were equally insistent she was going alone.
An argument broke out, and every single member of Honor’s family refused to allow her to leave without them.
“This is something I have to do,” Honor said quietly.
“I realize you don’t know me and have no reason to trust me,” Conrad said in a calm voice. “But I will protect Honor with my life. You have my word. And where we’re going, there is no danger to her. She will have an entire army of men surrounding her at all times. This is important to your daughter. She needs to heal, and that is exactly what I mean to make happen. If you love her, and I know you do, and if you trust her, which I know you do, then let her do this. She needs this if she’s ever going to come back whole.”
“I don’t have much time,” Honor said impatiently. “Trust in me to know what I’m doing. I’ll keep in touch. Conrad will keep you informed. But I have to do this if I’m going to survive.”
There were shocked and worried expressions on every one of her family’s faces, but also resignation, much as there had been when she’d been so determined to go to the Middle East to help those in such desperate need.
They all gathered around her, hugging her, tears shed as they kissed her and told her they loved her. And then Brad leveled a hard stare at Conrad.
“I know your kind. I know the things you do in the name of justice. I’m not judging you. But you protect my sister. You keep her safe and if things go bad, you get her out. I don’t care what she wants or says. You get her back home where she belongs.”
Conrad came to attention, a signal of respect for the lawman.
“I’d give my life for her,” he said truthfully. “She saved my life, and I repay my debts. I swear to you that she will be safe with me.”
Honor gave each of her family one last hug, and then she urged Conrad out of the house so they could be on their way.
“How far is it? Are we driving or flying?”
“We’ll fly. KGI has a private landing strip in their compound and it’s secure. It’s not only the fastest way, but also the safest.”
Relief staggered her. Now that she knew, every minute was agony. Every moment apart from Hancock seemed an eternity.
• • •
HONOR swallowed nervously as one of the men who’d met them at the landing strip and driven them to the “war room” punched in the access code and the doors slid open with speed that made her blink.
She’d purposely worn baggy, oversized clothing because at approaching five months pregnant, her pooch had developed into a tight ball. But all the weight loss and starving she’d done was in reality making her pregnancy look like her regaining her normal weight and size.
Besides, she wanted Hancock to want her. She wanted him to love her independent of anything else. And she knew, regardless of whether he loved her or not, whether he wanted her or not, he’d never turn her away if she was pregnant with his child.
It wasn’t in her nature to deceive, but she refused to manipulate him or force him to make a decision he wouldn’t have ordinarily made by revealing she was pregnant until she knew the outcome of her come-to-Jesus meeting with Hancock.
As soon as she was herded into the main area, she could see that apparently everyone who worked for KGI had turned up for the occasion. It only took one person to tell her how to find Hancock. Not a room packed full of kick-ass operatives.
Anger suddenly gripped her. She was tired of being endlessly intimidated by soldiers, mercenaries, terrorists, assholes, whatever. If they thought to intimidate her they could all kiss her ass.
She narrowed her eyes and stepped from behind Conrad’s protective position.
“Look, is it that all twenty or so of you all know where Hancock is, or are you just fucking with me and trying to intimidate me? Because if this is all you’ve got, bring it on.”
She was greeted by broad smiles, some outright laughter, and she could swear she heard a female voice saying, “You go, girl.”
One of the men stepped forward with a smile. He had muddy blond hair and the clearest blue eyes she’d ever seen. He extended his hand and she had no choice but to reluctantly take it.
“Miss Cambridge, it’s an honor to see you again. I’m Sam Kelly.”
She looked at him, faintly puzzled, but then realized he would have been on the mission to rescue her from Maksimov. Which meant that she was facing an entire room of people who’d seen the way she was when they’d gotten her out.
Her back went up. She refused to feel shame for that. She was going to stop feeling humiliated about things she had no control over, and she was going to stop being so easily intimidated and stop acting like a timid freaking mouse. Maybe she could take lessons from the only two female members of KGI. They certainly didn’t look like scared mice.
“Who can tell me where to find Hancock?” she demanded, donning her most ferocious look. The one Brad told her made her look like a really cute kitten hissing for the first time.
She pulled at her hair in exasperation, not even waiting for an answer.
“What is with men making arbitrary decisions, thinking they know all the answers to the universe? What is with them torturing themselves because they think they’ve betrayed or hurt someone, and yeah, while it might look to the person that they’d been screwed over, the man knows it but doesn’t bother to explain because he believes he is guilty of betraying her and hurting her. So he goes off in some giant manhurt and broods and sulks and God only knows what else men like you do,” she said with a sniff of disdain. “But I know what Hancock isn’t going to do, and so help me if one of you doesn’t cough up some information fast, you are not going to like the results.”
The others had watched her with open mouths in obvious befuddlement, but by the time she got to the end of her tirade, they started laughing until tears rolled down their faces. She was furious with them for laughing like hyenas when her life was on the line. Her future. Her child’s future. And Hancock’s.
Garrett wheezed. “Oh God, he’s never going to live this down. I’ll torture that bastard the rest of his life over this. How priceless is this?”
Honor gritted her teeth and stalked over to get right into the big man’s face. She nearly mowed him over, and would have, but his back bumped against the wall, effectively trapping him.
“What is wrong with you, laughing at a time like this? You’re being a complete asshole.”
Garrett gave her a meek look. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I meant no disrespect.” He rapidly looked at his teammates, begging for help. They just laughed even harder.
Honor threw her hands up. “This is pointless. I wasted an entire day by coming here. Fine. I’ll find him myself. No thanks to you.”
She stalked past them all, Conrad falling in behind her, as she headed for the door. Sam caught her arm and gently halted her, his eyes still full of mirth, but he made a concerted effort to be serious and sincere.
“We honestly don’t know where Hancock is, but I just might know someone who can help. Give me two seconds to make that call?”
She studied him a moment, saw that he was all business now. Finally someone with some damn sense. She nodded.
Sam picked up the phone and punched one digit, obviously a contact.
“Eden, honey? This is Sam. I need you to come to the war room as soon as possible. Can you do that? It’s important.”
There was a brief pause and Sam smiled. “Thanks, Eden. You’re the best.”
“Joe, step out and meet Eden so she won’t feel awkward coming to the war room,” Sam instructed.
Donovan glanced at the surveillance cameras that gave viewpoints of over thirty areas. He grinned. “No need. Swanny’s with her and he doesn’t looked pleased that he wasn’t included in the invite.”
“God save us from newlyweds,” Joe said in disgust.
Everyone in the room shot him knowing grins from all directions.
“Oh your time is coming, baby brother,” Garrett said smugly. “And I predict you’re going to fall harder than all of us put together.”
Joe lifted his middle finger amid laughter from everyone else.
P.J. and Skylar, the two female members of KGI, had made their way to where Honor stood, either out of solidarity so she wasn’t surrounded by so much testosterone or because they were simply being nice.
“How are you doing, Honor?” P.J. asked quietly. “Really.”
There was something in this woman’s eyes that told Honor she’d seen and endured horrific things and that she knew what Honor was going through and had gone through.
She smiled, though it felt more like a grimace. “In the beginning, not so good. But now . . . I’m hopeful. If I can get a certain arrogant male to pull his head out of his ass, things will be great.”
Skylar hooted with laughter, drawing suspicious stares from her male teammates. She just gave them an innocent smile that in no way allayed the nervousness in their eyes.
P.J. still regarded Honor seriously. “No matter how it goes, what happens, whether you’re able to make Hancock see reason, that man loves you. Every person in this room can tell you how much he loves you. Hancock is a hard man. No one here would have thought he was capable of loving anyone, but over time, we began to see bits and pieces of humanity and we realized that Hancock was a product of his training, and he’s lethal, but he has a heart. He’s a good man, Honor.”
Honor smiled. “I know. And thank you.” She touched the other woman’s hand. “That meant a lot to me. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees past the facade.”
The door opened and Honor’s heart jumped when an absolutely stunning, tall blond woman walked gracefully inside, flanked by a man a few inches taller than her with heavily scarred features and a muscled body that rivaled that of any of the males already in the compound.
Eden’s eyes widened when she saw that all of KGI was assembled, and she glanced fearfully at the man at her side, who Honor assumed was her husband. He pulled her into his side and pressed a kiss to her temple.
“It’s okay, honey,” he reassured.
Sam walked over and gave Eden a warm hug. “Thank you for coming so quickly. There is someone here who is very anxious to run Hancock to ground, and we wondered if you could be of any help to her?”
Eden’s brow scrunched in confusion, but before she could scan the room for the source of the “she” who needed her help, Sam pulled her to the side and spoke to her in low tones that didn’t carry to the others.
At first Eden looked stricken. Then tears glittered brightly in her unusually colored eyes and then she smiled, relief so stark in her expression that Honor wondered what on earth Sam was saying to her.
When Sam started to lead Eden to where Honor still stood, Eden flew around him and then threw her arms around a stunned Honor. Eden hugged her fiercely and a shudder of emotion quaked through the woman’s body as she clung to Honor.
When she finally pulled away, she was smiling broadly, a sheen of tears in her eyes. Honor looked at her in complete bewilderment when Eden took both Honor’s hands in hers and held on nearly as tightly as she’d hugged her.
“You have no idea how long I’ve prayed for this day,” Eden said, emotion thick in her voice. “Guy was so lost as a young boy. My mother and father took him in. He was every bit as much their son as my two older brothers, Raid and Ryker. My family is the only family Guy has ever known.”
She turned and beamed at the rest of KGI, and they all groaned. She turned back to Honor, a smug smile on her face.
“They’re just pissed because Guy is my family and now KGI is my family, which makes Guy and KGI family. A fact that neither are particularly thrilled about. But they’ll get over it,” she said cheerfully. “Especially now that you’re here. You’re going to change Guy’s life.”
“She’s already changed it,” Conrad said, speaking up for the first time.
The other members of KGI scowled at Conrad as if only just remembering he’d accompanied Honor. Honor scowled just as fiercely at them.
“Don’t you ever look at him like that. He’s my family and Guy is going to be my family, which will make Eden family and by proxy you as well. Therefore Conrad is now also your family.”
Conrad looked poleaxed. His look of astonishment was comical. KGI just chuckled, and she heard mutters about women ruling the world.
“I know you’re in a hurry, so I won’t delay you any longer,” Eden said to Honor. “Guy is at my father’s house with my two brothers, and according to them, he’s been in such a black mood ever since he arrived that they’re ready to murder him in his sleep.”
Honor looked to Sam, her heart in her throat, and his entire gaze softened.
“Will you take me to him?” she asked hesitantly.
Sam closed the short distance between them and enfolded her in a hug. “Of course, sweetheart. Just as soon as the jet can be fueled and ready to go.”
Then he turned and grinned at his brothers. “So who wants to go witness the greatest takedown ever known to mankind?”
A chorus of whoops, hooyahs and oorahs exploded through the room, and Honor looked at Sam with even more bewilderment. Were they all crazy?
He smiled. “Don’t mind us. We’ve waited a long damn time for Hancock to prove he’s goddamn human after all.”
He turned to Eden. “Call your father, honey, and tell him to sit on Hancock and not to let him out of his sight until we get there.”
Then he barked a series of orders so they could be in the air in no more than a half an hour.
• • •
BIG Eddie Sinclair got off the phone and turned to his sons, Raid and Ryker.
“That was Eden,” he said in a puzzled voice. “She wants us to sit on Hancock and make sure he goes absolutely nowhere until she gets here. She says she has the cure for what ails him.”
“Well, thank fuck someone does,” Raid said darkly. “I’ve had all the self-loathing and pity a man can take.”
“A-fucking-men,” Ryker said in a fervent voice.
