Текст книги "Sweet Addiction"

Автор книги: Maya Banks

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

CHAPTER 22

The ride home was tense and silent. Every inch of Ren’s skin was alive and aware. Her senses were hyperreactive. Every look he threw her way. Each time he moved. It all served to heighten the anticipation of when they’d arrive home and she’d see just how ruthless he could be.

She sensed it in him tonight. How close to the edge he skated. As if to now he’d leashed that part of himself he most wanted to let loose.

She couldn’t wait.

How magnificent would it be to feel the full force of all that power. To know that she was safe and protected by his strength.

She shivered as they pulled into his drive. It was hard to breathe. Each respiration was short, rapid and so light that at times she thought maybe she held them in.

“Get out,” he said in a terse voice.

Her hand shaking, she fumbled with the handle before finally pushing the door open. She stepped out and he was there instantly, so close she could smell him, could feel the warmth emanating from his tense body.

“Go inside, undress. Wear only the pink heels I just purchased for you. Wait for me in the bedroom, on your knees, ready to receive me. You have five minutes.”

She didn’t hesitate. Turning, she hurried inside, her pulse thumping with enough force as to unsettle her. She had to force herself to go slow up the stairs or risk falling.

Once in his bedroom, she stripped down to nothing and then ducked into her closet for the pink shoes. She slid her feet into them and caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror on the back of the closet door.

She looked deliciously wanton. Her hair was tousled and spilled over her shoulders and down her back. Her nipples were dark and taut to the point of aching. And the fuck-me shoes made her purr with approval. Oh Cole, are you in for a treat.

She smiled because she wasn’t one for false modesty. She looked good. She was in shape. And she liked her body.

She slid her hands over her hips and then up her waist to cup her breasts. Cole thought her beautiful and he said it in a way that made her believe she absolutely was. He liked her confidence but she’d realized quickly that her confidence was at its highest with him and Lucas.

She fully believed that one of the reasons some of her past relationships hadn’t worked and that one man in particular had worked so hard to break her down was because he and others like him had been threatened by her confidence. Some men didn’t deal well with a capable, confident woman and their instinct was to do everything in their power to destroy them.

Conversely, there were men like Lucas and Cole who reveled in a strong, self-assured woman. Yes, they were dominant, but they celebrated strength in their women. Even as they controlled, protected and cherished them.

It was a contradiction not understood by many. How could a man bent on completely dominating a woman possibly appreciate strength and self-sufficiency?

Ren had seen men from the full spectrum. Some played at dominance. Some were abusive in their absolute control. Some had no interest in the woman’s happiness, only their own. To some it was a game and nothing more. But then there were men like Cole and Lucas. Men who appreciated beauty. Celebrated it in many forms. And recognized that it came from a much deeper place than flesh.

These were men who had deep respect for the women in their keeping and in return they garnered Ren’s respect. It wasn’t something she offered lightly. Neither was her trust. Both had to be earned.

Looking at it that way, she realized she couldn’t lose. No matter which way she chose or which way was chosen for her, if Lucas had indeed walked away from her. She was fortunate. More fortunate than most, because she’d found not only one man she could trust absolutely, but two.

Peace settled over her like a warm, comforting hug. Peace, like everything else, was fleeting. Tomorrow she might be back to worrying or agonizing, but just for now she could let go and live in the moment. Because she might not ever get today back and tomorrow never offered any guarantees.

She smiled, nodded to herself in the mirror. She had a man to please and in doing so, please herself. She turned and retraced her steps back into the bedroom, stepped onto the thick rug Cole had put down the morning after she’d stayed on her knees on the hardwood floor waiting for him.

He hadn’t said a word, but the message was loud and clear. He would have her do nothing that brought her discomfort.

She went to her knees, briefly closed her eyes and took in a deep, calming breath. Then just as quickly as calm had descended, she heard his footsteps on the stairs.

Her pulse leapt to life and pounded beneath her skin. Her breathing sped up and got more shallow. Anticipation licked up her spine, sending chill bumps scattering across her back.

And then he walked into the bedroom, stopped and let his gaze rove appreciatively over her body.

He filled the room. The very air around her changed and went thick and heavy. He moved like a dream. There was authority in the way he carried himself. No hesitance. His gaze never left her, but neither did he show any hint of reaction.

He walked around her, loosening the buttons of his shirt. She kept her gaze straight ahead and remained still as he took his time undressing. After a moment he went into the bathroom and it seemed an eternity until he returned.

He was down to his jeans and she couldn’t help but stare at the lean muscle of his chest and rib cage. His shoulders were broad, and his arms rippled with muscle. A smattering of light brown, almost blond hair gathered at the hollow of his chest and then meandered in a straight line to his navel.

It was hell to wait when she wanted nothing more than to get to her feet and take what she wanted. And he looked to be in no hurry.

He crossed the room and opened an oak armoire. A moment later, he closed the door and she could see him holding coiled rope. A lot of rope. She swallowed and sucked in air through her nose.

He came to stand in front of her, holding the rope and then he slowly began unwinding it.

“Stand,” he commanded. “Legs apart, gaze forward, arms at your sides.”

Hoping she didn’t pitch forward, she awkwardly got to her feet, making sure she didn’t teeter in the heels.

Satisfaction darkened his eyes and she soaked up his approval.

“I love a woman in bondage,” he said, his voice low and husky and so enthralling she found herself leaning in his direction. “There is something so compelling about a woman bound and helpless, dependent on me for pleasure, for mercy, for everything.”

He was killing her. She closed her eyes and moaned softly, unable to quell the need that rose sharp within her.

“I’m going to cover you in rope, Ren. Only your breasts will be bare. Your pussy, your ass, your mouth. All of the things that please me the most and that I’ll avail myself of for my own pleasure.”

She swallowed again and lowered her head slightly in a show of submission.

He slid his fingers underneath her chin and prodded her upward once more. “Never look down, Ren. You may submit to me. You may obey me. But never, ever, will you look down like you’re lesser. Eyes and chin up always. Show me the proud, spirited woman who chooses to give me the gift of her submission.”

Tears burned her lids and she fought to keep them from falling. She met his gaze with fierce gratitude. For understanding her. For accepting her and for wanting her to be strong.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Just a whisper. Like a salute to the woman she was. His acknowledgment of who she was.

He began winding the rope around her body in intricate patterns. It was soft against her skin and he was careful that it didn’t abrade her flesh anywhere. The rope was pliable and would do no damage to her body.

Underneath her breasts and then over, drawing attention to the plump swells and presenting them to their best advantage. Between and over her legs, under and over her shoulders.

“I’m going to lay you on the bed to finish,” he said as he paused.

Gently, he lifted her and put her on her side on the bed. Immediately he curled her legs behind her, bending them at the knees before securing the rope around her thighs and ankles to keep her legs tightly bound together. When he was done, he rolled her onto her belly and brought her hands behind her back and secured them to her waist.

She was rendered immobile. The only part of her body she could move was her head. She was trussed hand and foot and positioned in such a way that she was absolutely helpless.

His hand smoothed over her ass in a gesture meant to comfort. “I’m going to suspend you from the ceiling. There is enough rope that it won’t cut into you and will easily bear your weight, but if anything hurts you at any time, I want you to tell me.”

She nodded.

His hands moved over her body, securing more rope and then he stepped back and pushed a button on the wall by the bed.

She gasped when she was lifted off the bed and began moving toward the foot and then over the floor. She dangled several feet above the carpet she’d knelt on and at first the sensation was dizzying.

Cole was there, immediately, his hand cupping her cheek and caressing until she gained her bearings.

“Do you know what I love most about this position? Besides the fact that you’re incredibly arresting wrapped in my rope, suspended in my bedroom. You’re open and vulnerable. I can have you in any way I want as many times as I want for as long as I want. And I’m going to have you, Ren.”

He walked around behind her and trailed a finger down the cleft of her ass, down to her pussy. He circled her entrance, pushed in to the knuckle once before withdrawing and fingering her clit.

Then he spun her slowly around so that he was standing at her mouth. He reached down, grasped her jaw, holding her in place, a clear sign of what he intended to do.

He let her go and she heard the rasp of his zipper. Then he turned her head to the side so that he had a better angle of entry into her mouth. Her hair hung down, trailing toward the floor. He caressed her cheek, petting and touching even as he prodded her mouth open.

“I’m going to fuck your mouth, Ren. There’s a difference. I could demand that you suck me off but what I want is for you to remain perfectly still while I fuck you long and hard and use your mouth just like I would use your pussy.”

His words incited dark fire deep within her soul. Those words, those dark promises called to a need buried so deep inside her that it was an essential, living, breathing part of her. It wasn’t just what she needed or wanted. It was who she was and she embraced it with every part of her.

He gripped the back of her head and guided his cock to her mouth. As soon as her lips parted, he shoved deep. Rough, hard, to the very back of her throat.

Her reflex was to gag but she battled with every ounce of her strength, forcing herself to relax and let him use her as he wanted. The very last thing she wanted was to fight him. She wanted this. Wanted him. All the shadows, the hard edges, the parts that he hid from everyone else.

She swung carelessly with the ropes as he pulled her to meet his thrusts. He slid over her tongue, his taste filling her mouth. She made wet sucking sounds as he ground against her chin, sounds he seemed to enjoy.

His hold on her was ruthless and yet there was tenderness in his fingers. Or maybe she imagined it. There was nothing gentle about his possession of her. He fucked her every bit as hard as he’d hinted.

She forced air through her nostrils and they flared when he lodged himself in the back of her throat and remained there several long seconds. But he always seemed to know precisely when she’d had enough and was at her limit. He eased back, granting her the freedom to breathe and to swallow and steady herself.

Then he was back inside her mouth. Stroking. Thrusting. Fucking. All too soon he angled her head further back and tilted her mouth upwards as he pulled at his erection.

Hot semen splattered over her mouth and cheek but most he guided past her lips, over her tongue, filling her mouth. Then he slid back inside, slower, longer strokes now, forcing her to swallow his release.

When he pulled away, she was breathless, his taste on her tongue, her body burning for more.

He wiped the semen from her lips with his thumb and then walked away. A second later, she was lowered onto the plush rug below her on the floor. He turned her on her side so she wasn’t facedown and then he walked quietly away, leaving her bound, awaiting his attentions.

CHAPTER 23

The room was quiet. She had no idea where he’d went or even how long he’d been gone. She awaited the discomfort that would surely come from being bound in such a position, but in truth, she was comfortable on the soft rug.

What made her tense wasn’t discomfort. It was anticipation of when he’d return and how he’d take his pleasure this time.

When the footsteps sounded on the hardwood floor, a thrill rushed through her blood and hummed through her veins. Her body jerked a moment as she rose once more into the air and was suspended from the ceiling.

She spun in a slow, lazy circle before he put his hand on her leg to stop her progress.

“I wish you could see yourself as I see you.”

The first words slid over her skin like silk.

“Beautiful. Vulnerable. Open. Mine.”

The last word sent a tremble through her muscles.

His.

She loved the way it sounded. Loved the primal savagery that accompanied such a possessive statement. She was his possession. His woman. His to do with as he liked. Such power made her throat clutch.

He stepped between her splayed thighs. She was bound in such a way that her pussy was bared, thighs spread wide and legs doubled back and tied so she was unable to move even an inch.

He smoothed one hand over the curve of her ass, squeezing and caressing the plump flesh.

“Relax.”

The order was terse. He expected obedience. He was a patient man, but when he issued a command, he wanted immediate results.

She forced every muscle in her body to go limp.

She felt the probe of a large, blunt tip at her anal opening. She stretched around it before he pulled away and eased the pathway with lubricant. Then he pushed forward again and she tensed out of reflex.

He immediately stepped back and before she could even imagine what he meant to do, fire cracked over her ass, taking her breath away.

A crop. Just one pop, but it was enough to remind her of the consequences of inattention, no matter how brief.

Again she forced herself to relax and he began again, working the tip of the plug into her behind. He was gentle and in no hurry. He took his time until she was adequately stretched enough to push in the remainder of the plug.

She flinched and reared up, inadvertently causing herself to swing outward. Cole caught her, but instead of issuing another reprimand, he leaned down and kissed the center of her back.

“Shhh, darling. It will pass. Breathe and try to relax. Give it some time. I won’t rush you.”

His words more than anything calmed her and made her stop fighting the burn of the plug’s invasion. It was a large plug, larger than any she’d used in the past. But then he wasn’t a small man and if he planned to use her in that way, she’d need as much preparation as possible if he wasn’t going to hurt her in the process.

Sometimes she wanted the pain. She wanted to be taken without regard or consideration of her comfort. She wanted to be used, wanted to provide the ultimate pleasure for the man who owned her. But tonight, more than most, she felt more vulnerable, and while she wanted the hard, ruthless edges, she knew her limits weren’t quite as capable of being pushed as they normally were.

The gentleness mixed in with his dominance was what she most needed and wanted right now. He seemed so in tune with her emotions. Lucas had always told her a good dominant knew his submissive better than she knew even herself. He was right, and he and Cole both certainly seem to anticipate her needs before she was even able to articulate them to herself.

“All right now?” Cole asked as he caressed the small of her back.

She nodded, watching her hair bob below her as she hung from the ropes Cole had so intricately wrapped her in.

He stepped closer, running both hands over her ass before moving them lower to the backs of her thighs at the very top above where the rope was coiled around her legs. His fingers dug into her flesh and then she felt the hard probe of his cock.

In an instant he yanked her back at the same time he pushed forward. He was balls deep into her pussy, and she let out a hoarse yell at the shock of his invasion.

She was small, so much smaller now with the plug stuffed into her ass. Cole wasn’t a small man, but he felt enormous now inside her, stretching her, forcing her to accommodate him.

With her suspended by the ropes, he was able to move her freely, pulling her to meet every thrust. Then he held her immobile and began driving into her until her entire body shook with the force of his possession.

He curled his fingers around the ropes crossing her back and held on as he plunged into her over and over. Then he caught the ends of her hair and pulled until her head came up. He wrapped his fingers in the strands and continued to power into her.

She moaned when his hand drifted over the top of the plug buried in her ass. He toyed with the end, sending wicked sensations through her body. Then he began to ease it out, all the while making long, hard strokes with his cock.

Sweat broke out on her forehead and she bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from tumbling into oblivion. She wanted release. Needed to come so badly that she was afraid at the slightest touch, she’d break apart.

Then the plug slipped free and just as quickly, Cole withdrew from her pussy and then slid deep into her ass.

“Come, Ren,” he said in a harsh voice that told her just how close he was to his own release.

But she’d already begun to unravel the moment the bite of pain mixed with the heady pleasure of his possession had overtaken her. Her orgasm wasn’t a soft, ebbing tide but rather it was a tsunami that crashed over her at light speed.

She had no awareness other than sharp, unrelenting pleasure that seemed to become more explosive with each passing second.

The loud smack of flesh meeting flesh and her own staggered gasps filled her ears until it was all a roar she couldn’t distinguish.

The next thing she became aware of was being held in Cole’s arms. The rope was gone and he was gently rocking her back and forth, her head tucked beneath his chin.

He kissed her in between whispers, though she had no idea what he was saying. His hands slipped up and down her body, caressing and soothing. They were on the bed and it bewildered her that so much time had passed without her knowledge.

Without even realizing it, she wound her arms around Cole’s neck and turned her face further into his neck. He shifted her in his arms so she’d be more comfortable and then held her just as tightly.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

He stroked her hair and for a moment he didn’t speak. When he did, his voice cracked just a bit. Almost as if he’d had to take the time to compose himself to answer.

“I missed you too, darling Ren. So very much. I can’t tell you how much joy it brings me to have you back in my arms.”

She kissed his neck, inhaled his masculine scent, let it surround her and dance through her nostrils.

“I can’t let you go again,” he said in a voice so low she almost couldn’t hear him. “I won’t let you go.”

CHAPTER 24

Cole was awake early, as was his habit, but this morning he didn’t hurry to get out of bed. Today he awoke to a warm, soft body draped across his chest. Ren was sprawled over him, one leg curled over his and inserted between his knees. One arm was flung over his belly and her cheek rested against his chest.

He had his arms full of everything he’d ever wanted and he had no desire to end the moment. So he lay there, his arm wrapped around her body, stroking through her hair, listening to her breathe.

And he realized he’d never been happier than right here, right now. A month ago he would have said he was content. Satisfied. Or maybe it was that he was resigned.

He’d thought of Ren less and less as the years wore on. She had been relegated to his past. A part of a painful mistake he was forced to admit he’d made. Only when he’d seen her again, had he realized just how much he missed her presence in his life. How much he wanted her back. There was no possible way he could see someone ten years later and have that kind of reaction to if he wasn’t still seriously hung up on her.

Ten years was a damn long time. A lifetime for most. People did a hell of a lot of changing in a decade. He’d certainly changed. So had Ren. And yet in many ways they hadn’t.

The saying went that you couldn’t go back, but he could damn well go forward. With her.

He tilted his head down so he could kiss her forehead. She stirred and stretched sleepily before snuggling deeper into his embrace. He kissed her again simply because he couldn’t resist.

Her eyelids fluttered open and she settled her unfocused gaze on him.

“Mornin’,” she murmured.

“Morning.”

He wanted to turn her over and slide into the satiny clasp of her body. Wanted it more than he wanted to breathe. But he’d been rough on her the night before. He’d taken her many times and had used her hard. She was likely tender and he in no way wanted to cause her discomfort.

She pushed up on one elbow, her hair falling like a curtain onto his shoulder and over his chest. “I need to work this morning,” she said almost apologetically.

“Of course. I won’t interfere in your writing. I’ll come get you for lunch. Lucas said you have a bad habit of forgetting to eat.”

This time she didn’t seem to mind the mention of the other man in her life. He hoped in time she would become numb to hearing Lucas’s name.

She twisted her lips into a rueful smile. “Unfortunately he’s right. I tend to get caught up in things and let time get away from me. I’ve fallen asleep at my desk more than once.”

“Well, you have a few hours of work time before I haul you out for lunch.”

She grinned and leaned down to kiss him. “Deal.”

It felt odd to walk into the spacious room Cole had allocated as her work area. She was used to the study Lucas had set up for her. She was comfortable there. Knew where everything was. The furniture suited her. She even loved her desk.

Cole had certainly gone the extra mile to make her comfortable and he’d been exceedingly generous, but it was still new and unfamiliar.

Someone had unpacked all her things and had even arranged them, or had at least attempted the task. She began rearranging, needing the comfort of knowing things were where they should be and in order.

The first hour she spent putting her art supplies in order. By then she was itching to start creating so she settled at the desk and pulled out the leather-bound journal that had the first draft of her writing and her sketches.

Her process was likely more complicated than most, but it suited her and it gave her a measure of comfort. She always did preliminary sketches and the rough draft writing in the journal. When she was satisfied that she had things as she wanted, she then made hard copies that she’d eventually turn in to her publisher.

For each book she bought a different journal. She loved the feel of paper bound in leather. The pages had been faux weathered to give it a worn, aged look. And the cover was leather so worn and soft that she loved to caress it with her fingertips.

She was a very tactile person. She loved touch. Needed it. Lucas—and now Cole—gave her what she needed. They were openly affectionate with her. They seemed to need to touch her as much as she needed to be touched. Not every man she’d been with had been cognizant of her needs or perhaps they simply didn’t care to meet them.

But she found she suffered when she was denied close, personal contact. Which was contradictory given how closely she guarded her personal space and only trusted a few to get close enough to ever touch her.

She loved comfortable things, though. Shoes, furniture, journals. She surrounded herself with things that felt good and appealed to her senses.

But above all she needed and desired structure and routine.

She caressed the cover of the journal before opening it to the last page where she’d drawn the last sketch. Her pencils were in a cup to her right, colors in order of light to dark. As she reached for one to touch up a few lines in the picture, her cell phone signaled an incoming text.

Excitement surged through her. Lucas wasn’t much on texting. He much preferred direct communication, but she’d hoped that he’d at least contact her during the two weeks she was with Cole. Surely he would at least make sure she was happy.

She dug her phone out of the pocket of her jeans and opened the text. It was from her friend Savonna. She tried not to allow disappointment to eat at her. She shouldn’t even be thinking about Lucas.

Saw Lucas at club last night. Where were U?

For a long moment, Ren stared at the text, battling her reaction to it. Then, slowly, she blanked the screen and put the phone aside, not replying to the question. What could she say anyway? Lucas is moving on so he hooked me up with another guy. Yeah, like that wasn’t twisted.

It took all of her discipline not to text back and ask Savonna if Lucas had been there with another woman. The simple truth was there were some questions you didn’t want to know the answer to.

She picked up her pencil. A soft lavender she’d intended to touch up the morning sky over the lake in one of her drawings. It shook in her hand and doubt crowded into her mind despite her best effort not to dwell on Lucas.

Give yourself a break, Ren. No one in the world would be over a break up in a few days, no matter that they had this gorgeous, hunky, beautiful man to turn to.

But still she wished there was a switch that she could just flip and turn it all off. The doubt, the fear, the worry and the sadness.

The pencil dropped from clumsy fingers onto the open journal and the drawing of two young children sitting on a dock, feet in the water, watching as the sun rose higher in the sky.

Idly she turned back the pages, going back through the story, studying each of the drawings and the simple story of childhood in all its innocence.

Tears gathered as realization hit her. Maybe it had been in her subconscious all along but she’d never seen it until now. This was so much the story of her and Cole. Happier days. The sweetness of first love and the sadness that accompanied that first good-bye.

Even before she’d seen Cole again, she’d channeled those memories into this book. Perhaps it was her way of letting go. Only now he was back in her life. Why couldn’t she have met him again a year ago when she was coming off her relationship with Grant? There were no obstacles, no barriers, nothing at all to get in the way of their reunion.

She dropped her head as she slowly and carefully closed the journal. There would be no work done today. Instead she reached for her artist pad, opened it to a blank page and then chose the black charcoal pencil from the jar.

* * *

Cole checked his watch and then turned in the direction of the sunroom. He’d waited as long as possible. He hadn’t wanted to part with Ren even for a few hours to give her time to work. He’d busied himself with phone calls and catching up on e-mail, but his concentration was shot.

After sending an e-mail to the wrong person, he’d given up trying to go through the motions of work at all.

He paused at the doorway, watching as Ren bent over, pencil in hand, her face creased with concentration. Her bottom lip was sucked between her teeth and she scraped absently with her top teeth as she stared down at her creation.

She was dressed in nothing more fancy than a faded pair of blue jeans and a cropped white tank that bared a portion of her back where her tattoo snaked up her spine.

But the contrast of her dusky skin against the white of her shirt coupled with the jet black tresses of her hair made him want to peel her clothing right off her so he could run his hands and mouth over that beautiful flesh.

It was a hell of a note when a man’s life changed in the space of a few moments over a chance meeting. He wasn’t one to fight the inevitable, and he knew without a doubt that Ren was a big part of his future. The only part that mattered.

Nothing else in life had come easy to him. No reason this should either.

“Ren.”

He waited a moment and then realized she hadn’t heard him. She was hunched over her drawing, her hand moving in quick, jerky motions.

He walked toward her, curious as to what she was laboring so hard over. As he neared, he could see that the drawing was black and white and was of a woman sitting on a rock staring out to sea. On the right, immersed in an incoming wave was what appeared to be a sea serpent with long, jagged teeth. It should appear menacing, but there was simple beauty in the creature.

To the left, a dragon with wings outstretched was coming in to land atop a rolling wave. Both creatures were focused on the woman and yet she stared beyond them both, almost as if she wasn’t aware of their existence.

“Interesting,” he said over her shoulder.

She bolted upward, jerking around in her seat. Pencils scattered in every direction and the paper drifted to the floor.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I called to you from the door but you didn’t hear me.”

For a moment she looked bewildered and then she surveyed the mess with a grimace.

“I’ll get them. Just sit for a minute,” he said.

He bent quickly to gather up the pencils, but when he went to put them back in the cup she wrested them from his hand and began sorting the colors, frowning in concentration as she manipulated them.

He studied her for a few seconds and then knelt to carefully pick up the drawing. When he rose, she took the paper and smoothed it over her desk, her fingers running lightly over the woman in the picture.