Текст книги "Sometimes Moments"

Автор книги: Len Webster

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Eight days passed. Eight days of clean-up and planning. Eight days, she spent with him, loving him harder. But those days passed far too quickly. Setting up Marissa and Oliver’s wedding took up most of their time. When he wasn’t with her, Callum was redesigning his rough draft of The Spencer onto blueprints. People in town stopped by the burned remains and offered their condolences, but Peyton kept her head down and thanked them. The town had lost a source of income—that, she was aware of—but she couldn’t dwell too much thought on anything other than the hotel.

Investigators who had searched the remains had put the accident down as an electrical fire that had come from the kitchen. But Peyton knew the source. The dishwasher—the same one Jay was meant to have fixed weeks ago. Peyton hadn’t told them, though. She’d just agreed that the burning of her hotel had been an accident. Jay’s mistake had cost her, but she wouldn’t let him go to jail for faulty electrician work. No matter how much wrong he had done to her.

“That’s going to be you one day,” Jenny whispered.

Peyton looked as Oliver and Marissa danced on the lakeside dance floor. The lanterns on the lake as the sun started to set were breathtakingly beautiful. She couldn’t deny wanting this someday. Wanting the man she’d married to dance with her, their first dance of forever.

Peyton just smiled. In reality, this would just be a dream for her. There was no one else after Callum. Her heart had been stained by his name, and she would rather it that way.

“He can’t keep his eyes off you, even with that bridesmaid in his arms.”

She moved her eyes away from the bride and groom and stared at Callum, who was dancing with Victoria, Marissa’s maid of honour. His eyes were on Peyton. They were filled with an apology she understood. If life and time were working with them, this could have been a possibility for them one day. But they weren’t. Life and time were working against them. Tonight was their last. The ending had finally caught up to them.

“He leaves tomorrow,” Peyton finally said before she looked down at the clipboard.

Thankfully, the hotel in Creswick had been more than happy to help out with the wedding, providing Peyton’s staff with everything they needed to make the wedding happen. Oliver and Marissa married near the path that led to Callum and Peyton’s spot under the large trees. Callum had been right—Marissa had been heartbroken that the hotel had burned to the ground but she didn’t want to change venues. She had just wanted to marry Oliver.

The moment June started setting up with the band, Marissa cried and kissed her new husband like crazy. The song June played was new and heartbreakingly beautiful. The soft sound of the guitar and June’s voice made the song Peyton’s favourite.

Timing got us wrong.

Life put us on show.

Separating all that we knew.

The dark times stole you.

I hid from all I knew.

Waiting for you to find me.

Peyton looked over at Callum the moment she heard June sing and smiled at him. In some ways, she had been waiting for him for all these years. She didn’t take her eyes off him as his lips curved when he caught her staring. Callum blinked once, and without a word, he walked away from Victoria and approached her.

“What are you doing?” Peyton asked as she looked over Callum’s shoulder to see Victoria less than impressed.

“About to dance with the woman I love,” he said, holding out his hand.

She looked down and shook her head. “I’m working, Callum.”

He took the clipboard from her and gave it to Jenny. “I’m sure Jenny doesn’t mind taking over for a bit.”

Peyton turned away from his grin and faced Jenny. The moment she saw Jenny nodding, she rolled her eyes. “Fine. One dance. Then I have to get back to work.”

“Okay,” he said and took her hand.

The way her heart picked up from his touch was one that she would miss come tomorrow. But for tonight, he’d be hers and she’d be his.

Callum pulled her away from the dance floor and up the hill.

“Where are we going? I thought we were dancing?”

He didn’t stop or look her way as he said, “There’s only one place I want to be with you.”

Her heart ached—both in pain and pleasure. She knew where he was taking her. Hand-in-hand, they walked through the path, into the forest, past the circular rock and down the small incline until they reached their spot.

Once they were in the middle of the circle, he brought her close to his body and placed his hand on the small of her back. The music from the wedding was almost like a whisper in the wind as he swayed with her. Nothing else mattered in this moment.

Another sometimes moment.

She smiled at the thought. She would rather sometimes than never. Because Callum’s holding her under the purple and red sky was beautiful. The end was hours away, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t let herself care or she’d taint the rest of the time they had together.

She glanced up to see the frown on his face. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

Callum sighed. “Tomorrow,” he stated.

Peyton took a deep breath and nodded. “Still hours away,” she pointed out.

“It’s still happening, Peyton.”

“I know. Let’s enjoy our last night together.” She smiled, hoping to assure him.

His forehead touched hers as they swayed. “A night full of sometimes moments?”

“A night full of them,” she confirmed and then kissed his chin.

They stopped moving as they took in this moment. If life had been fair, four and a half years would have never come between them.

Peyton closed her eyes and let her ear rest on his chest. His heartbeat was one of her favourite sounds, so she listened to each thump it made as his chest rise and fall with each breath he took.

“I have something for you,” Callum said.

She lifted her head and stood straight, staring at the frown on his face. It wasn’t the look she wanted to see on their last night together. But she took a small step from him and gave him the room he needed anyway.

“Okay,” she said as nervous trembles made their way through her body.

Callum reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. When she looked, she saw her name written on it and her heart dipped. Goodbye was coming earlier than she had anticipated. Then a sob formed and lodged in her throat, making breathing and speaking impossible. Her heart decided it would be the perfect time to slow down and throb painfully.

When he handed her the envelope, Peyton blinked at it.

“What is it?” she finally asked. She didn’t look up at him. Instead, she followed each letter of her name.

“Our epilogue,” he said.

What little air that was in her lungs was drawn out by those two words. Her hands shook as her eyes blurred. They were now meeting their end. She had their epilogue in her hands, and her heart smashed into a thousand pieces.

Ours.

She gazed up to see the pain in his eyes before she said, “Read it to me.”

Callum shook his head vigorously. “I can’t do that.”

The agony in his voice had her shaking her head at him. “Then I don’t want it,” she said softly and held it out to him.

I don’t want our conclusion. I don’t want us to end.

Callum wrapped his arms around her and sobbed. “God, all I want is more time with you.”

Her hands were squashed between their bodies as her head rested on his chest. “Then stay,” she said. It was the first time she had asked him to. It wasn’t a thought. It was a vocal plea.

His arms tightened around her once more and his chin rest on the top of her head. “I can’t. I want to more than anything, but I can’t.”

As they stood still for longer than they should have, she memorised the feel of him breathing, the feel of his body on hers, and the way she fit in his arms. Peyton knew she’d memorise them in her room for the last time tonight, but right now, she memorised them in their spot. The one spot in the whole world that held their love, the one spot where life made sense to them both, and the one spot where she felt whole and true. The one place in the whole world full of their sometimes moments.

“Promise me something,” she said and looked up at his jaw.

Callum took a sharp breath before his eyes focused on her and said, “For you, Peyton, anything.”

“It’s two promises.”

He nodded. “Okay. What’s the first one?”

It was her turn to inhale deeply. These promises had constantly lingered her thoughts over for the last few days. It was a thought she had known that she’d have to voice.

“Promise me you’ll find someone to love you more than I could. You know how much I love you, and if someone can love you more than I do…then keep her. Have forever moments with her. Promise me that,” she begged.

“I-I.” He sighed. “I promise to keep her forever. What’s your second promise?”

Peyton took a step away from him and looked at his note one last time before she met his cautious stare. “I will read this when you leave if you promise you’ll give me a goodbye.”

He tensed and his fists balled tight beside his body. He didn’t say anything as he looked at her. The agony that filled his eyes almost had her retracting her requests. She wanted his pain gone, but she had thought of her closure first. She needed closure in order to live a life without him.

“I promise,” he said before he hung his head.

Peyton inched forward, placed the letter in his pocket, then cupped his face. “I mean it, Callum. I don’t want to wake up and find that you left me at some point during the night. I deserve a goodbye. You and I both know that.”

He looked up at her and nodded. “I know you do, Peyton. You always deserved one. I was a coward last time. This time, I’ll do it right. I promise.”

She kissed him slowly enough to remind herself of the pain in her chest. If she let his mouth quicken or deepen their kiss, she’d never get back to the wedding and goodbye would be far more impossible.

Then she pulled back. “Thank you. We better get back or Jenny will kill me.”

She didn’t let him say anything as she took his hand and led him out of the forest.

Goodbye, Callum. Goodbye, forever, and goodbye, my heart.

“P ick a country,” Callum said.

Peyton gazed down at her lap to find him staring at her. Gently, her fingers continued to stroke his hair as she thought about her answer.

“Austria.”

“Why Austria?”

She picked off the cherry blossom that landed in his hair and said, “Because of Mozart, Belvedere Palace, Wiener schnitzels, and sachertorte.”

He chuckled. “Liar. I know the real reason why you want to go to Austria.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Oh yeah? What is the real reason why I want to go to Austria?”

Callum raised his eyebrow and confidently stated, “Inspector Rex.”

“Don’t you dare make fun of Komissar Rex!”

Callum sat up and placed both palms on her cheeks. “I will not make fun of your beloved detective dog.” His lips lightly touched hers before he said, “We need to go to Austria one day.”

She tilted her head at him. “We?”

Callum nodded once. “I need to try Wiener schnitzels.”

We’ll never make it to Austria together.

Peyton frowned at the thought and the memory. It would only be a dream. The idea of going to Austria without him left her empty inside. Those were their dreams, and she didn’t want to share them with anyone but him. But it was a broken dream they’d never live. Tonight would be their last.

“That’s him, isn’t it?” June asked next to her.

“That’s him,” Peyton agreed.

“So I should thank him for my album?”

Letting out a laugh, Peyton turned to face June. It was incredible that a famous, Billboard-charting artist consider her a friend. June was smart, talented, and absolutely stunning with her green eyes, black hair, and sun-kissed skin tone. June was flawless and every inch the celebrity. But Peyton saw the real June, the June who struggled with writer’s block and enjoyed sitting by the lake with her guitar.

“That album was all you, June.” Peyton smiled.

June rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t have been brave enough to show my producers without you. I was thinking about having a small release party here, promote the hotel’s rebuild.”

Peyton’s mouth dropped. “Really?”

“Of course, Peyton. This hotel was my inspiration and I want to be part of its new beginning. How is next week? It’ll be enough time to market it and I’ll have the team set up a giveaway for some fans to come down for an intimate concert.”

Just as Peyton was about to reply, June’s guitarist was dragging her to the stage.

“We’ll talk in the morning, Peyton,” June told her.

Peyton smiled at June before she let her eyes sweep the wedding. Everything looked perfect. People seemed to be enjoying themselves as they laughed and danced. Somehow, she pulled it off.

Towards the end of the cliff, she noticed Callum talking to Jenny. Callum nodded a few times and gestured with his hands before he hugged Jenny. When they finished their embraced, Jenny wiped her cheeks and then they both started walking in Peyton’s direction.

“You okay?” Peyton asked once they stopped in front of her.

Jenny nodded and said, “Everything’s perfect. Listen, Peyton, I have things here covered. You’ve been up since five. You go home and rest. I’ll make sure everything is taken care of. It hasn’t been an easy week for you.”

Peyton’s eyebrows met as she looked at Jenny and then Callum. “I can’t leave the wedding. Oliver and Ma—”

“Peyton, Oliver and Marissa won’t care. I just have to stay a little longer and then I’ll come by your place,” Callum said.

“Fine,” she said. Truth be told, she was tired. Hanging fairy lights and setting up lanterns had really done a number on her. It wasn’t how she’d wanted her last night with Callum to go.

Callum stepped forward, placing his palms on her jaw as he lips softly grazed her forehead. “I won’t be long,” he promised.

She gave him a tight smile. “Goodnight, Jenny,” Peyton said before she walked over to the small, portable building that acted as her office and grabbed her things.

Peyton stared at the ceiling as she waited for the bathtub tap to drip. Once the drop landed in the hot tub of water, she breathed out.

“Twenty-seven.”

Then another drip.

“Twenty-eight.”

And another.

“Twenty-nine.”

And another.

“Thir—”

“Peyton?”

Callum’s voice stopped her count. She turned her head to the side and stared at the bathroom door.

“In here,” she called out. Then she submerged herself a little more into the hot water and let her head rest on the porcelain tub.

Seconds passed before Callum walked into the bathroom. Then he walked over to her before he crouched so they were eye level. Her lips curved into an honest smile, grateful to see that he hadn’t left. As she’d walked home, that’s what she had feared the most—his leaving without a goodbye. After a call to Aunt Brenda about the success of the wedding, she had tried to silence her over-calculating mind with a hot bath. But the silence of the bathroom had just served to further increase her mind’s activities.

However, seeing him squashed the doubts. Having him in front of her made her heart leap and ache. Her heart was bipolar when it came to him.

“How’s the rest of the wedding?” she asked as she placed both hands on the tub and turned her body to face him better.

“Beautiful. You and Jenny did an amazing job,” Callum said.

“You helped, too.”

He leant forward and gave her a chaste kiss. “Don’t sell yourself short, Peyton.”

Her mouth tugged upwards at his compliment. Each drip she heard behind her made her realise just how quickly seconds were passing them. Soon, morning would come and they’d say goodbye.

“Take your clothes off and hold me,” she instructed in a soft voice.

Callum didn’t say anything as he removed his suit jacket and dropped it on the floor. She took in every movement he made until he was only left in his dress pants. Then his hands were on his belt as he unfastened it and unbuttoned his pants. Her heart beat fast against her chest as he pulled down the zipper and let the slacks fall to his feet. Stepping out of them, he stood naked in front of her.

Crouching back down to face her, Callum stroked her wet hair back and kept his grey eyes on her. She saw it in the way he looked at her—he wanted tonight to be memorable as they closed their book. They’d had a lifetime of love in a short period of sometimes. It was more than she thought she’d have with him and more than most people would have in life.

“I will never forget you, Peyton Olivia Spencer,” he whispered. His words travelled through her veins and settled into her burning heart.

Afraid she would plead for him again, she pushed up from the tub, away from his touch, and sat straight. She gave him the room to sit and hold her. Carefully, he placed one foot in the water and then the other before he lowered himself behind her. He stretched out his legs on either side of Peyton’s body and rested his hands on her hips, pulling her in to lean into his chest.

Peyton drew up her legs as Callum’s chin settled in the curve of her neck and his hands were on her shins. She felt all of him against her back as she stared at the bubbles that surrounded their bodies.

“Callum,” she said, trying to ignore the sad tone to her voice.

“Yes, Peyton.”

“This is going to end horribly for us, isn’t it?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

His lips grazed her neck, sending shivers down her spine, and then he pressed another one just below her ear. His breath touched her skin before he said, “Yes.”

Peyton’s lips made a fine line, and she nodded. “Then bring it on.”

His soft chuckle influenced the smile on her face. The moment Peyton moved, his hands left her, giving her the space to turn her body to his. When she positioned both palms on his chest, his breathing was heavy rather than consistent intakes of air. Then she tilted her head slightly and stared into his eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, covering her hands with his before bringing her left hand to his lips and kissing her palm.

“Austria,” she replied.

“Oh,” he let out, staring at their connected hands. “I’m sorry we never got there.” The remorse was thick in his voice.

“It was just one of those things, Callum. Things we said because we were young and dumb. We thought we were invincible. But the truth of it all was that we were naïve and high on love and the belief of forever. We were teenagers who thought we could outplay the universe.”

Callum looked down at their hands before he said, “The universe outplayed us in the end.”

The sad look in his eyes could break her heart all over again. She didn’t want this to be sad. She wanted a few good memories. Ones that would keep her company at night. Ones that would guide her through the shadows and into the light. Peyton pulled her hand from his and placed it on his shoulder. Then Callum’s eyes met hers before her hand mirrored her previous actions.

“Hold me, please,” she said.

Callum nodded. “All night I will.”

That made her smile. She wrapped her arms around the back of his head and sat in his lap. That’s when she felt him touch her there, but she didn’t want them to make love in the tub. She wanted him in her sheets for the last time. Then she pulled his ear to her chest, allowing him to hear her heart beat for him.

She didn’t care that this embrace was eating away the seconds, the minutes they had left. This was a sometimes moments. Hers. His. Theirs. No one would ever take this exact moment away. She knew what sometimes moments were. They were a beautiful way of hiding the fact that sometimes doesn’t mean forever. That sometimes leads to ‘The End.’ Their end.

Sometimes moments would keep her living in denial for the rest of her life, and she was okay with it. Because sometimes was what she would have and hold on to. This time, she was sure she couldn’t have a life after Callum. He had marked her further. There would be no man after him. It was Callum or no man at all for her heart. It was a choice her brain had agreed upon.

“Callum,” she said as she closed her eyes.

“Yes, Peyton.”

She held him closer to her chest. “I don’t think I could love anyone as hard, as strong, as pure, as intense, or as heartbreakingly as I love you. You should know that I’ve only ever wanted to love you.”

Callum’s arms wrapped around her back and held her tight. “I’ve only ever wanted to love just you. I only loved just you. I will only love just you—all of you, Peyton. When I leave, you’ll be the one my heart loves more than anything that has breathed or existed.”

Peyton didn’t even try to hold back her tears as her heart began to crumble. “You’ll find her,” she whispered, letting go of the hope that it could have been her.

Callum shook his head against her breasts. “I found her when I was a teenager. I found her again almost a month ago. I’m holding her…but I have to let her go.”

He has to let me go… I have to let him go. I have to let him be free.

Peyton untangled her arms and placed both her hands on the side of his head, pulling him up to face her.

She took a deep breath.

And then exhaled.

She let her heart beat twice before she said, “If you ever need me, I will be right here. Maybe, one day, you’ll find your way to me again. I will be here, right where you left me. We don’t have to talk. We could just exchange glances and then you leave, knowing that it’s enough for us. I’ll hope for those stolen glances.”

I’ll hope for forever someday. I’ll hope for forever in our next lives. I’ll ask God for his love in our next lives, too. I’ll ask him for Callum to love me until the very end of existence.