Текст книги "My Butterfly"

Автор книги: Laura Miller

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter Twenty-One
The Card

Weekly gigs kind of became a usual occurrence. I wasn’t quite sure even how it had all unfolded exactly. One day, I woke up, and it just was. I was a firefighter most days, and I played in a band on the others. It made me laugh to think about it because it all seemed as if it were a dream – not like a career dream but like a real dream, as if I were actually sleeping while we were playing on some small stage in some other part of town. I was always waiting for a big, pink elephant to fly across the room or for a squirrel in the crowd to ask me why I was naked on stage or something. It felt like that kind of dream. I enjoyed it though. I seldom admitted it, even to myself. But when I was sitting alone on my little bed in the station, I thought about it. And I thought about if maybe sometime we got a gig in Columbia that I might see Julia. I always pictured her in the front row, with a happy smile on her face. I thought about that sometimes.

I picked up a cord leading to the stage and started wrapping it around my arm. I hardly got it wrapped around my elbow twice when a voice stopped me.

“Hi, Jesse Sovine,” a man said, extending his hand.

I glanced at the man’s outstretched arm and followed it up to his face.

“Will Stephens,” I said, eventually meeting his handshake.

“You’ve got a great voice,” the man said.

I smiled an awkward smile and went back to wrapping the cord around my arm.

“Thanks,” I said.

“I’ve seen these guys play a couple of times, but I’ve never seen you before,” he said.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a side thing,” I said.

“So, you’re a firefighter?” he asked.

I glanced back up at him, and then my gaze fell onto the cord again.

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“Well, have you ever thought about a career in music?” he asked.

I stopped and looked at him sideways.

“A career in music? Us?” I asked.

He nodded his head and smiled.

“Your band. Yourself,” the man said.

I raised one eyebrow.

“Did a little blonde put you up to this?” I asked.

The man’s smile faded, and his face twisted into a puzzled look.

“I’m kidding,” I said, chuckling. “No, really, it’s just a side thing.”

He seemed to pause before he continued.

“Okay,” he said. “Well, talk to your band. I’d love a chance to represent you guys.”

“Represent?” I repeated.

“Yeah,” he said, pulling out a clean, white business card from the inside pocket of his tailored jacket.

“If you change your mind, my number’s on the card,” he said, handing it to me.

I took the card.

“It’s nice to meet you, Will Stephens,” he said, extending his hand to me again. “I hope you change your mind.”

I shook his hand again, and then I watched him disappear back into the crowd.

It was dark all around me, except for the neon light that flashed in my direction every once in a while. My eyes strained to see the bold lettering on the small business card as they searched each word:

Jesse Sovine, Talent Agent

Premiere Entertainment Management

I stared at the card for a second, then stuffed it into my pocket and continued again wrapping the electric cord around my arm.

“A career in music,” I mumbled under my breath, while chuckling to myself.

* * *

I made my way into Matt’s garage Monday evening. The guys were already there.

“Water, Will?” I heard Matt ask.

I turned toward him and held out my hands.

He tossed the bottle across the room. I caught it, opened it up and took a swig. Then, I set it onto the concrete floor and started to play with the strings on my guitar.

“Oh, guys, by the way, this guy gave me this the other night,” I said, pulling the business card from my jeans pocket and tossing it onto Matt’s keys.

“What is it?” Chris asked, snatching up the card.

His eyes scanned the words and then turned up.

“This is an agent,” he eventually said.

His words were straight and to the point.

“What?” Matt asked, looking up.

“Where did you get this?” Chris asked me.

“The guy,” I said, pointing to the card. “His name is on it.”

“Dude, this is Premiere Entertainment,” he exclaimed. “They’re a big deal.”

“What did you tell him?” Matt asked me.

“I didn’t tell him anything, really,” I said. “I just took the card.”

“Guys, do you realize what this could mean?” Chris asked. “We could be famous.”

“Let me see it,” Daniel said, yanking the card out of Chris’s hand.

Daniel’s eyes followed over the words on the card.

“We’ve got to call him,” Chris said, “and tell him we’re interested.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Daniel said. “We’ve got to think about this first. I’ve got a kid and a family. I can’t just run off with the band.”

“Yeah, Chris, I agree,” Matt said. “A lot of people have agents, but that doesn’t mean they get anywhere. This isn’t a ticket to fame and fortune, and we can’t act like it is.”

“But we can just see what he says,” Chris said.

“I don’t know,” Daniel said. “I mean, playing on the weekends is fun, but…”

He shook his head.

“I need a real job,” he continued. “One that pays the bills.”

“Who said anything about quitting our jobs?” Chris asked. “We can just see where it leads.”

“I don’t know,” Daniel said, still shaking his head.

“What about you, Will?” Chris asked. “He talked to you. What do you think?”

Suddenly, all eyes in the garage were on me.

I shook my head and laughed.

“I’m a firefighter,” I said. “I don’t know anything about the music business, and I’m not sure, beyond what we do Friday and Saturday nights, that I want to.”

Chris tossed his head back and groaned.

“Look, guys, we don’t have to give him an answer right now,’’ Matt said, taking the card from Daniel’s hand. “Here, Will, he gave you the card; you hold onto it. In the meantime, we can all think about it. Give it some time. Who’s to say it’ll even amount to anything. Let’s think about if we even want to bother with it. Okay?”

Our eyes were on Matt. Then, they slowly strayed to Chris.

“Okay, okay,” Chris said. “I’ll think about it. You know what my answer is, but I’ll think about it.”

I chuckled and took the business card from Matt.

“Chris, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had some secret dream of becoming a rock star,” I said to him.

He held a sarcastic glare for a good, few seconds before he finally threw his head back again, and this time, laughed.

“Yeah, I might have thrown some leather pants on and a suede jacket and slung a guitar across my skinny, little chest for career day in the sixth grade,” Chris said, slowly bobbing his head. “That might have been me. But let me tell ya, the girls loved it. The teachers – not so much. But the girls, they loved it. I knew before that day that I was destined to be famous, but that day in sixth grade, that day, I knew I wanted to be.”

“For the girls?” I asked.

“Well, that day, it was just for Hailey Young,” he said, his voice growing serious again. “But she moved away after junior high, and I never saw her again. Now, I guess…”

He paused for a second and stared off into space. Matt, Daniel and I just looked at each other, waiting for him to finish.

“Now, I guess,” Chris started again, “I guess, it’s still Hailey Young.”

Chris’s eyes were glazed over now as he continued to stare off, seemingly, into a different world or a different time. I glanced over at Daniel in the back corner of the garage. He was rubbing his eyes now, out of what looked as if it were boredom.

“Are we done?” Daniel chimed in. “MY Hailey Young has dinner for me at home, and I’m starving.”

“Yeah, we’re done,” Matt said.

Daniel got up first and shuffled to the door, as a loud ring suddenly came from inside the house, and Matt scurried up to retrieve his phone.

I looked back at Chris. We were the only two left in the garage. His head was down now, and he looked as though he was thinking. I walked over to him and patted him on the shoulder.

“We’re all chasin’ after our own Hailey Youngs,” I said to him. “Hang in there, buddy.”

I watched him nod his head, and then I slowly made my way to the door.

“You got one, Will?” I heard him ask.

I turned back around and caught his sad eyes. Then, I slowly nodded my head.

“Yes,” I said, softly.

I watched him try to smile. It was a perceptive smile, as if he had already known my answer. I forced the corners of my lips up slightly. Then, I turned again and made my way out of the small garage.

Chapter Twenty-Two
Angel

“Hey,” I heard a soft voice call out from behind me.

I turned to see a brunette staring back at me.

“Jessica,” I said.

I knew I had to have sounded a little thrown off.

“My uncle was the speaker,” she said, smiling softly and pointing toward the stage.

“Oh, that was your uncle?” I asked.

She nodded her head.

“Wow,” I said, running my hand through my hair. “That was one, close call he had there.”

I watched her eyes turn toward the floor at our shoes.

“Yeah, he’s had a couple of close calls,” she said, returning her eyes to mine.

I caught her gaze, then lowered my eyes and slowly bobbed my head, as the conversation grew silent.

“You look great,” she said.

I chuckled and looked down at my black slacks and white, button-up shirt. I felt overdressed.

“Thanks,” I replied.

My eyes then caught her silhouette in her snug, blue dress.

“Uh, so do you,” I said.

Jessica’s wide smile beamed back at me. I smiled but then suddenly spotted in the back of the room a thin blonde, in a short, yellow dress. My heart nearly stopped, then restarted, only to almost beat out of my chest, but I kept my eyes on the girl in the yellow dress, until she noticed me.

“Uh, Jessica, there’s someone I see that I’ve got to talk to,” I stuttered.

I wasn’t even sure if half of the words had come out as words, but Jessica smiled and nodded all the same. Then, I glanced back up at the blonde. I hadn’t been imagining things. She was still standing there, watching me. But this time, her eyes cast down to the floor when I met them, and she started fidgeting with something in her hands. I felt Jessica’s stare follow my gaze. I probably should have felt bad for Jessica – for cutting her off – but at the moment, I couldn’t feel anything but happy.

“It was, uh, good to see you,” I said, as I flashed Jessica another smile and then stepped to her side.

“Yeah,” she said. “It was good to see you too.”

I barely heard Jessica’s last words. My mind had been set onto one track, and suddenly, I was useless for all other purposes.

I rushed over to the blonde and stopped just a foot away from her slender frame and met her eyes.

“Hi, Will,” she said, softly smiling.

“Julia,” I finally managed to get out.

A smile came with her name. It felt good. It had been a long time since that had happened.

“I was home for the weekend, and there was a note on my calendar, and I thought…,” she said and then paused.

“I thought I’d stop by,” she finished.

I kept my eyes in hers.

“I got you a gift,” she said, handing me a small box.

I took the wrapped package into my hand and sent a wild smile her way. I couldn’t help it. This girl was so unpredictable, it made me crazy. But somehow, I loved it.

I turned the small package over in my hands.

“I just happened to run across it one day, and I don’t know, it was force of habit or something because the next thing I knew, I was at the counter, handing the woman my debit card,” she said, softly laughing. “It’s just something small, and because I think it was made for you.”

“Sounds like I love it already,” I said, sending her a wink.

She turned her face away, but I had already seen the red in her cheeks.

“You can open it later,” she said.

“You know what?” I said, through a wide smile. “I’ve got a better idea. Let’s get lunch.”

She looked into my eyes as if she was asking me a question but damned if I knew what it was.

“Come on,” I said. “There’s this place that has the best cheeseburgers in town. I know you can’t pass that up.”

“But your family?” she asked.

“Them?” I asked her, as if she were crazy. “Mom’s doing this little shindig at the house later. She’s already told me that she’s ditching me after this to get ready for it.”

I watched a smile crawl across her pretty face.

“Here, let’s go tell ‘em I’m leaving, and then we’ll get outta here,” I said.

I grabbed her arm, but she gently pulled away.

“No, you go,” she said. “I’ll just wait outside.”

I stared at her for a second, as I fell back down to earth. There was something different about her, and my heart stabbed at my chest because of it.

“Okay,” I said, as I cleared my throat and slowly nodded my head. “I’ll, uh, I’ll just go tell them I’m leaving, and I’ll meet you out there.”

She smiled, nodded and then turned toward the doors that led out into the hallway.

I watched her walk away. My breathing was starting to get shallow, and I swore the temperature in the room just rose a couple of degrees. What was she hiding?

* * *

We gave the waiter our orders and our menus. Then, I planted my eyes on Julia.

She sent that same, irresistible smile that only she could give my way. God, I missed that smile.

“Open it,” she said, gesturing toward the small box, now sitting on the table in front of me.

I found her eyes again and smiled. Then, I slowly started pulling away the paper that covered the box. But before I got all of it off, I stopped and looked up at her.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I said.

Her eyes turned down before they met mine again.

“Well, I know this is a big day for you, and I had the gift,” she said.

“I wasn’t expecting this – the gift or you,” I said. “And it’s just my paramedic certification.”

She smiled.

“It’s a big deal, Will,” she said.

I held my gaze in her eyes for a moment longer. Then, I tore off the rest of the wrapping and pulled out a metal pin from a small box. It was an angel pulling up a firefighter who had fallen.

“It’s your guardian angel,” she said, before I could say anything. “Wear it. She’ll keep you safe.”

I looked up at her and gently smiled.

“I will,” I said. “Thank you.”

Her eyes immediately cast down, so I took the moment to study the soft features on her face before I returned my attention to the guardian angel in my hand.

“So, how long are you in town?” I asked.

“Just today actually,” she said.

My smile instantly faded.

“Well, maybe I could come up and see you some time, and we could go get dinner or something,” I said.

I lifted my head just as her eyes were starting to light up, but then something happened. And I watched the green in her eyes grow dim and her smile too start to fade. My heart sank.

“It could be just as friends,” I quickly said.

Her expression didn’t change, and my heart sank even further into my chest. I knew she wanted to tell me something – that thing she had been hiding.

“What is it, Jules?” I asked, too impatient to wait for her to get it out on her own.

“I just don’t think that dinner is such a good idea, Will,” she said, tossing her stare to the table’s surface.

I furrowed my brows.

“Why not?” I asked.

She seemed to pause, and then she found my eyes again.

“I’m seeing someone,” she said.

Just like that, the words had come out as if they were a death sentence.

“What do you mean you’re seeing someone?” I asked.

I slid back into my chair and tried to replace a dagger to the heart with a smug smile.

“You mean, like you see someone every day in a line to get coffee or something or like you’re seeing ghosts or something?” I asked.

She sarcastically batted her eyelashes.

“I mean I’m dating someone,” she said. “His name is Brady, and he’s on the track team, and he…”

“Okay, okay,” I interrupted her. “I get it.”

She stopped short, and after a long moment, I slumped back in my chair, then brought my elbows to the table and rested my forehead in my hands.

“Sorry,” I said, lifting my head from my hands. “So, what does he do?”

“What?” she asked.

“What does this guy you’re ‘seeing’ do?” I asked, making sure to use my fingers as quotation marks in the appropriate place.

“He’s a sophomore,” she said. “He’s pre-med. He wants to be a doctor.”

I let my head fall back at her mention of the word doctor.

“A doctor, Jules?” I asked. “Of course,” I said, under my breath.

She shot me a puzzled look.

“You know the divorce rates for doctors?” I asked. “You don’t want to marry him.”

I watched her dramatically sigh.

“Will, no one said anything about marrying anyone,” she said. “And besides, like your job’s much better. I can’t even count the number of times you left me somewhere when your tones went off or the hours we missed because of them.”

“I always left you with someone we knew, Jules,” I reminded her. “You make it sound like I left you on the side of the road somewhere.”

I watched her take a deep breath, close her eyes and then smile.

“Will,” she said, “we don’t have to fight like this anymore.”

“Anymore?” I asked. “Jules, we never fought, and we’re not fighting now. We’re just discussing our differences, like how you’re fond of doctors, and I’m not.”

She took another deep breath, and her smile turned soft.

“Really?” she asked. “Because it sounds a lot like a certain night that I remember not so long ago.”

I stared at her, trying desperately to find the meaning in her riddle.

“Come on, Jules, don’t even bring that night up,” I eventually said, recalling our breakup, and at the same time, running my hand through my hair. “I hate that night.”

“That makes two of us, so let’s just agree to not fight anymore,” she said.

She was still wearing a smile, but it looked fake.

I stared into her eyes for a minute and then finally forced a grin too.

“Fine,” I said, “no more fighting. Let’s talk about you instead.”

A sincere smile came to life on her face again.

“What about me?” she asked.

“Well, how’s school?” I asked.

“It’s good,” she said, nodding her head. “It’s just prerequisites and electives. Nothing too exciting.”

“What about track?” I asked.

She smiled wider.

“What is it?” I asked.

“My time dropped two seconds,” she said.

“I knew it,” I exclaimed, as I leaned back against the chair and smiled. “What did I tell you?”

“I know,” she said, starting to laugh.

“What about you?” she asked.

“Well,” I said, trying hard to censor the parts where I sulk most nights thinking of her, “I got a job on the department in St. Louis.”

“Wow, that’s great, Will,” she said, smiling wider.

I followed her stare to a spot on the table then and watched as her smile started to fade. It looked as if she were thinking about something.

“What?” I asked her.

Her eyes quickly flashed back to mine.

“Oh, nothing,” she said. “It’s just that it went by so fast.”

I nodded my head as her eyes lingered for a second in mine.

“Do you still play sometimes?” she asked.

I pushed my lips together, thinking about the band and our weekend nights.

“Sometimes,” I said.

“Good,” she said, smiling again.

I locked my eyes in hers then.

“You know, I bet doctors come home smelling worse then ashes,” I said, cracking a smile. “Have you ever smelled the inside of a hospital?”

“Will,” she playfully scolded.

“Okay, okay,” I said. “But don’t say I never warned you.”

She shot me that cute, pouty face that she stored in that arsenal of expressions she owned. She must have known that she was killin’ me. I let my eyes linger in hers a second too long, but she didn’t seem to mind. Jules was still in there somewhere. I took a deep breath in and then gradually let it out, as a knowing smile found its way back to my face.

Chapter Twenty-Three
Fall

“You were on his emergency contacts,” I heard a voice say on the other side of the curtain.

I felt my heart speed up, and my eyelids instantly fell shut. Emergency contacts. I had forgotten about that. I sat up straight and tried to make out my reflection in the black, television screen. I probably looked like hell.

I combed back my hair with my fingers and then listened for Jules’s voice, but for several moments, there was only silence. My eyes darted back and forth from the curtain to the only piece of the door that I could see, as I anxiously rubbed my palms against the white blanket, subconsciously smoothing out its deep wrinkles. Then, finally, her thin frame emerged from the temporary wall. And her eyes instantly caught mine.

“Hey, are you okay?” Julia asked.

Her voice was soft and shaken. I was pretty sure I was expecting her to be pissed that I had uprooted her from doing whatever she had been doing more than a hundred miles away.

“I’m fine,” I said. “If I would have known that they were going to call you, I would have told them not to.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s okay. I mean, they really couldn’t tell me anything on the phone. What happened?”

“Just an unlucky step, which led to an unlucky fall, that’s all,” I said. “In reality, it’s all kind of a blur. I remember feeling the heat from the flames. I remember stepping backward, and the next thing I remember is being here, in this bed.”

“They said that it knocked you out, and your wrist…,” she started, her eyes falling to the cast on my arm.

“Yeah, it’s broken, but it should heal pretty fast,” I said.

I watched as she tried to force a smile.

“Listen,” I said, “I’m really sorry that you had to drive all this way. It’s stupid. I’m fine. And it’s stupid that I even have you on the list. You were just the first person I thought of. It was a while ago, out of habit, I guess,” I lied, “and you never expect to ever have to need that list…”

“Will, stop,” she said and then rested her hand on my good arm. “I’m just happy that you’re okay. You could’ve been…”

I met her gaze.

“But I wasn’t,” I said.

I rested my eyes in hers and took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. Moments passed before either one of us spoke.

“The nurse said that you were wearing this when you came in,” she eventually said, opening her palm up to me.

Inside, was the silver pin with the angel pulling up the firefighter. I took it from her hand. My eyes traced every line that made up the metal pin, trying to recall, first, the moments that led to my fall, and second, the percentage of good men and women who didn’t make it past a fall like that. And after a minute, I looked back up to find Julia’s eyes clouding with tears.

“Jules,” I said, trying to reach for her but getting pulled back by the IVs still attached to me. “I wear it all the time. I’m here because of it. I’m fine because of it.”

My eyes followed over the sad lines in her face.

“Come here,” I said then, gesturing her closer to me.

I scooted over as much as I could in the tiny bed and used my good arm to pat the small space on the mattress I had just made for her.

She seemed to hesitate at first, but then eventually, she climbed onto the bed and nuzzled into the small place between my chest and the bed’s railing. I wrapped my good arm around her shoulder and brought my hand, still cradling the pin, to rest on her opposite arm. I could tell that she was a little reluctant to rest her head on my chest, but she did it anyway, as I squeezed her still closer to me and smiled.

“I’m not keepin’ ya from any big plans tonight, am I?” I asked.

I heard her laugh once and then felt her head move back and forth.

I smiled wider and then rested my cheek on her head.

“I’d offer you something to drink, but the drink selection in here is awful, and the service isn’t much better,” I whispered into her ear.

She laughed that pretty laugh of hers again.

“That’s okay,” she said. “I’m hitting up another hospital after this, and it’s supposed to be like five stars or something AND have live entertainment.”

I raised my head up from hers.

“Live entertainment, huh?” I asked her.

“Mm hmm,” she said, nodding into my chest.

One side of my mouth started to lift into a grin.

“Baby, you’re not going anywhere else tonight because this place might be lacking in other areas, but it is definitely not lacking in the entertainment department.”

She giggled.

“I got songs – lots of songs,” I continued. “What do you want to hear?”

I heard her mumble something, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

“Hmm?” I asked, lowering my ear closer to her lips.

“‘Brown Eyed Girl,’” she said, a little clearer.

“Oh,” I said, smiling. “You mean ‘Green Eyed Girl’?”

I felt her playfully tap my chest with her hand. And I brought my cheek to rest on her head again. It felt so good for her to be next to me. I squeezed her still closer to my body and breathed in the sweet smell of her hair.

It sure wasn’t my intention to fall through a ceiling and down a story, but it sure wasn’t ending that badly either.

“‘Green Eyed Girl’ it is,” I softly said, as I smiled wide and made sure to keep my thoughts to myself.