Текст книги "Sentenced"

Автор книги: L. L. Collins

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Johnny

I knew she was fighting with herself over me holding her. I could feel it, and I understood the feeling. I wasn’t overly sure what I was doing, but watching her as she thrashed in her nightmare, echoing ‘no,’ ‘please stop,’ and ‘help me’ over and over again had done something to me.

Someone had hurt her. She was in constant pain. I could identify with that. We were more alike than either of us realized. I was afraid to say a word for fear she’d smack me, cuss me out, and kick me out of her room. I was afraid to even move or breathe. I kept my hands still on her lower back and concentrated on her steady breathing.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, but she finally pulled back just a little to look at my face. “Thanks.”

I was shocked at her reaction. Did she just thank me? “You’re welcome. Are you okay?”

Bex nodded. “Yes. I haven’t had a lot of sleep and probably am overtired. You know how your mind goes when that happens.”

Even though I knew she was full of shit, I let it go. Questioning her on it was only going to get her to shut down further. Ask me how I knew this.

I dropped my arms from around her. “I better get home.” I didn’t want to leave, and it shocked the shit out of me.

“Wait,” Bex said. My pulse pounded in my ears. What was I doing? What was she doing? “Would you . . . stay?”

I searched her eyes. What was she saying? “Stay?”

“I . . . never mind. I’m sorry. You’re probably exhausted and want to get home.”

I would usually nod my head and agree, then run for the door. But this time, I didn’t want to. “No, not really.”

“Not really?” We were playing a ridiculous game here.

“I want to stay. If you want me to.” I was shocked at myself. Never, ever in my life had I said those words to someone after Jill. She had been the only one that I’d wrapped my arms around, hoping to protect and love us both out of the life we had been in. Not that it had done me any good.

Bex looked just as shocked as I felt that we were having this discussion, but she nodded and walked back to the bed. She climbed in, holding the covers open for me. I kicked my shoes off and shed my shorts and shirt, leaving me in boxer briefs.

She didn’t try to hide that she was checking me out. “You like what you see? I didn’t give you enough earlier?”

Bex laughed. She actually laughed. The sound sent electric shocks from my head to my toes and back. I was afraid to move or smile for fear she’d realize what she’d done. “You gave me plenty. Now get in here and let’s sleep.”

I was going to sleep in a bed with a woman. I couldn’t do that. I hadn’t done that since . . . no. This would never work.

She must’ve seen the panic on my face because her smile fell. “Johnny?”

I slid into the bed, avoiding eye contact. Why the hell did I do this? I was so dumb. There was a reason I never slept with a woman in bed. Yet she’d somehow made me lose my mind when she asked me to stay.

She clicked off the light, and I let out the breath I was holding. In the dark, I felt less exposed. “Are you okay?” They were the same words I’d asked her. She’d lied to me, and I was going to have to do the same.

“Yes,” I lied. I’d just lie here and let her sleep next to me. I had to stay awake. There was no option. If I was shocked she’d asked me to stay, I was frozen in place when I felt her rest her head on my chest and sigh heavily. Bex was . . . cuddling with me. I could smell the shampoo we’d used earlier in the shower. It didn’t smell nearly that good on me.

It was mere seconds when I felt her body relax, and I knew she was asleep. I stared at the ceiling, wondering why I’d agreed to stay. Why had she asked me? I knew she’d been having a nightmare when I woke her up. I didn’t even know why I’d stayed in the first place when I’d seen her starting to fall asleep. Something kept me rooted to the chair, watching her. But I couldn’t relax that much now. Sleeping next to her would only end up in disaster.

I thought about what I’d done to Julia when she’d tried to wake me up. No way was I sleeping. The good news was it was already morning so hopefully Bex would have to get up soon in order to get ready to go home.

She was complex that was for sure. I hadn’t thought when I met her that she’d end up being just as complicated as me, but it sure as shit seemed like she’d been given a raw deal in life, too.

I kissed Jill’s full lips, smiling against them as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “I love you, Johnny.” She wrapped her naked body around mine, and I came alive again. No matter how many times we made love, I was always ready for more with her. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I’d found my soul mate at the young age of twenty.

“I love you, too,” I murmured. “We’re going to get out of here. Together.”

She nodded. “I believe you. How’s your plan coming?”

“It’s coming. I don’t want you to know anything just in case they figure out something and ask you. The less you know, the better. Just know I’ll always protect and take care of you, Jill.”

She nodded, her big blue eyes filled with love and trust. “I know. It’s you and me, baby.”

“You and me,” I echoed.

The door swung open, flooding light into the room. “What the fuck is going on in here?”

Ray. I hated this prick. Hell, I hated all of them, but him I hated more than most. “What’s it to you?”

Ray crossed the room so fast I only had time to tuck Jill behind me before he hauled me to my feet. “I asked you a fuckin’ question, Frat Boy. When I ask you somethin’, you answer me. What are you doing with this hooker? You fucking her? Or getting high?”

Jill made a small noise from behind me, but I knew I couldn’t turn to comfort her. “Yeah, I fucked her. So?”

An evil smile crossed Ray’s face. “Is that so? She good? Because she looks fucking good enough to eat.”

I shook my head. “She’s alright. Gets your dick wet and does the job.” I knew where this was going. He hadn’t messed with Jill in the months she’d been here, and I didn’t want it to start now.

Ray eyed me, and then looked over me at her. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

“No.” I was bigger and stronger than him. If I didn’t let him past me, he wouldn’t get to her.

“No? Is that what you said to me? You think you have some sort of power to tell me no?”

Ray stepped back to the doorway. “Prince, come here!”

Jill looked at me wide-eyed. I couldn’t show her how afraid it made me to hear him call Prince.

Prince’s large frame filled the doorway. He was a scary motherfucker. “He thought he was going to tell me no, I couldn’t tap a piece of that.”

The two of them laughed. “Will you help me out?”

Prince nodded. He had at least fifty pounds on me, and Ray knew it. Jill whimpered as Ray approached her, unbuckling his pants.

“Hey there, sweet thing. Your buddy said you weren’t any good. I don’t believe him. I think he just doesn’t want to share you. That’s not any fun, is it? What’s your name?”

I lunged for Jill, but Prince stepped in my way. “Move, and I’ll knock you the fuck out.”

“Don’t knock him out,” Ray said. “He’s going to watch me fuck this one. This will teach him that he doesn’t backtalk me.”

Ray leaned over, pulling the covers off of Jill’s beautiful body and pawing her full breasts. The ones I loved. I fought Prince, not even caring what they did to me.

“Stop it! Don’t you dare!”

Ray looked back at me, pulling his dick out of his pants. He forced her legs open and shoved himself inside. Jill cried as he grunted.

“I’ll kill you!”

I sat straight up, my chest heaving. Sunlight streamed through the partially open curtains. It was late. I could tell. Where the hell was I? Then it all flooded back to me.

Bex. I swung my head around the room, but I didn’t see her. I was still in her room, and I had fallen asleep even though I had said I wouldn’t. At least she hadn’t witnessed the embarrassment of my nightmare.

I swung my legs over the bed and stood up, pulling my shorts and shirt on. It was after noon. Julia would probably be wondering where I was. Not that she wouldn’t figure it out.

I looked in the bathroom for Bex but didn’t see her. Okay, then. I guessed this was how it was going to be. I relieved myself and then rinsed out my mouth. Just then I heard the door slam. There she was.

“Johnny?”

I stepped out of the bathroom. “Hey.”

Bex handed me a cup of coffee and a bag. “I got you some breakfast. Hope a bagel is okay.”

I stared at it like it might grow a head and speak to me. “Uh, thanks.”

“So let’s not make this awkward and shit,” she said. “Thanks for helping me last night. It was an overall shitty day yesterday. I have to get ready to head out.”

This was it. I wasn’t going to see her again. “Yeah, no problem. It was nice . . . hell, it was fucking hot to have you for the last two days. You’ll be hard to top.”

Bex snorted. “I have the feeling you’ll put a good effort into trying.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.” I had this weird feeling, mixed with the dream of Jill I hadn’t dreamed in years. It was . . . sadness? Longing? I wasn’t sure.

She opened the door. “See you around.” I was being dismissed. No talk of exchanging phone numbers, hooking up another time. Nothing. Just like I liked it. Right?

“Good luck on tour.” I sounded like a tool, and I knew it. I’d fucked this woman six ways to Sunday, and that’s all I could say?

She watched me as I made my way to the door, but she didn’t say anything else. I stepped through the doorway and turned back to her. I grabbed her and pulled her to me, kissing her with all the energy I had that couldn’t be put into words. She responded, twining her arms around my neck as I sucked her tongue into my mouth.

God, I wanted her again. Forcing myself to pull away, I winked at her. “You know where to find me if your hand or vibrator isn’t doing the job anymore.”

She gaped. “You act like I don’t get any any other way.”

“Not any as good as me. Bye, Bex. Thanks for breakfast.” I winked at her and lifted the brown bag with the bagel inside, then turned and walked down the hall away from her.

I sat on the back porch of Julia and Carter’s house, a pad of paper in front of me, the urge to grab the guitar from my room almost overpowering me. I hadn’t had a feeling this strong in many years, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

I’d been writing lyrics since I’d gotten home from the hotel. Carter and Julia were at his parents’ house for the afternoon with Calia, so I had the house to myself. The words had just been pouring out of me. I had pages of ideas and a few pages of actual lyrics. I hadn’t felt this inspired in a long time.

My thoughts kept going back to Bex. Despite what either of us wanted to admit, we’d broken down some walls with each other. It freaked me the hell out. I had to be more careful. Thinking of her made me think of the dream about Jill. The nightmare that had been my reality was a reminder of what love cost me.

I’d loved that woman with my entire heart. But I should’ve known it was doomed. Me, the idiot that had gotten involved in trafficking drugs, and her, the young girl who’d gotten lured into being the toy of the drug lords. They’d promised her everything, but only I had meant it. Except I hadn’t been able to deliver on my promise, either.

After that night, Jill had never been the same. Not that I blamed her. Since she’d been with us, she’d only been with me and the rest of the guys had left her alone. But not Ray. He wanted to stick it to me because he didn’t like me, so he made sure to hurt me where it was the most painful.

Watching him with her that night had been the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. Even after, when he’d spread his seed all over her, and I’d carried her into the bathroom and cleaned her up, I knew that a part of her died that night. The weeks after that, I tried to love her through it but it was too late. She started snorting cocaine and would spend her days completely out of it. Until the day she stopped being in pain anymore.

I shook my head, wishing I could scrub my head clean of all of the terrible things I’d seen over the years. It wasn’t possible to rid myself of all of the filth I’d been a part of.

I began writing, the words not able to get down on the paper as fast as I could think them. I tapped my foot, a rhythm coming to life in my head. I remembered a time when sitting in my basement with my friends playing music was the best part of my day, and the dream of somehow ‘making it big’ kept me going. Ah, to be that young and stupid again.

I tapped the pen against my lips. If I could go back in time, would I? Not that there was any sort of fucking time machine or anything, but in the proverbial sense that I could, would I want to? I tell you what I wished for most of all: to be able to change leaving Julia. Despite my parents’ disapproval, had I not wanted to ‘make it big’ in Los Angeles, the rest of the shit would’ve never happened.

Sighing, I threw the pen down on the table and put my arms behind my head. I was tired, but that wasn’t unusual anymore. I made a vow to myself to have less sex and more sleep, then burst out laughing.

“How about more sex, less sleep,” I chuckled to myself. My brain conjured images of Bex, her long, dark hair covering her face as she rode me, as I took her from behind, and as I had her watch in the mirror. I’d slept with countless women in my lifetime, many of those in the last two years. I knew what I was doing, and I accepted it. I had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

But then there was Bex. She and I were explosive. We had more issues together than Starbucks had coffee beans. Just the thought of her was stirring my dick awake.

“You have to move on,” I muttered to myself, looking down at the words I’d written. “She was a hot lay. Maybe even the hottest you’ve ever had. That’s all it can ever be.”

I knew touching her was a bad idea. As combustible as we were before we slept together, during and after was off the charts. I’d never had a woman hate me so much, and it had been a turn on. I wished I could see her perform with Halestorm. Watching that sexy ass move around the stage in her tight dress, or leather shorts, or whatever equally sinful thing she’d be wearing . . .

Sigh. I was hard again.

“I’m heading out,” I called to Cal. He waved, turning back to the customer in front of him. I was headed to another bar in the area to watch a local band that wanted to play at The Outrigger. It was my technical night off, but I’d come in to do my homework on the band.

Their band name was Belles and Lace and had only been playing together just over a year. I liked their sound in the demo they’d uploaded online, but I felt better seeing their vibe in person. At least, that’s what I told myself. They were a country band, which wasn’t usually my style, but they had a rock and roll edge to them. Plus, it was popular in the area, so we had to do what would bring in the money.

It didn’t hurt that the lead singer, Stephanie, was blonde with big tits and a body that wouldn’t quit. The way she filled out a jean skirt and cowboy boots . . . yeah, I had a thing for singers. The entire band was women, none of which I’d throw out of my bed. Tonight, I was going to get lost in one that wouldn’t infiltrate my every thought afterward.

It had been three weeks since the last time I’d seen or talked to Bex. I knew she was headed out next week on tour, and I needed something to stop my brain from thinking about her or wanting to find her. I’d stopped myself so many times from researching to figure out where she lived or where the band was practicing. The main thing that stopped me was what the hell I would say to her once I found her. “Hi, I couldn’t keep my dick—er, my mind off of you, so here I am? Wanna fuck again?” Yeah, somehow I doubted that would get me very far, and then we’d end up in the same awkward place we were on our last day together. It was better to leave well enough alone and chalk our two nights up to the best sex I might ever have.

I hadn’t had sex in three weeks. I thought my dick might shrivel up, but so far he was hanging in there. What I had done is think of Bex often, replaying our nights together over and over in my brain. It had been nothing but my thoughts and my hand keeping me occupied over the last several days, and I was over it. It was time to get buried into some feminine warmth, and tonight.

I revved up my newest addition—a motorcycle. I couldn’t stand that little speck of a car for one more second, and I’d found this custom Harley on a killer deal from an old guy needing his money back after impulsively having it custom made. Gotta love old guys in a mid-life crisis. His wife probably made him get rid of it. I’d always wanted one but hadn’t found it smart in Denver. I had no idea if I was going to go back to Denver or not; I was taking it one week at a time at this point. But Julia said I could keep it here if I did, even if she did beg me daily not to go back. Thankfully, I’d gotten my motorcycle license when I got out of prison so I could eventually buy one of my own.

I’d talked to Al, my parole officer, a few times since I’d been here. He was keeping in contact with my parents about the expunging my record thing. There still wasn’t a hearing date, so I was in a holding pattern. I was still grateful he was allowing me to be in Florida for this amount of time and was okay with me checking in with him. He did say if I moved here I’d have to get a new parole officer. I was hoping that by then my record would be gone and I wouldn’t need a fucking babysitter anymore. I wasn’t a criminal. Okay, I was. But not by choice.

The bike roared down the road, whizzing past the buildings and cars. I could still smell the salt in the air from the beach, no matter how far away I got. I loved that about Florida. The reverberation of the bike under my hands was intoxicating. I could ride forever. It was almost as invigorating as writing and playing music.

Julia asked me almost daily if I’d played on the Gibson. Every time I told her no, that I couldn’t, I’d see that look of disappointment in her eyes. I had pages and pages of lyrics, not that I shared those with Julia. I’d never shared my lyrics with anyone. They were a diary of sorts; a way to get out everything that got all jumbled up in my head.

Much too soon, I pulled into Dixie, where Belles and Lace was playing tonight. Heads turned as the rumble of the motorcycle got their attention. I stepped off, removing the helmet and clipping it to the bike. Looking around, I saw that I was in the minority at this bar. Huge jacked up trucks were much more prevalent than bikes, and most of the patrons wore cowboy boots while I wouldn’t be caught dead in them.

Ignoring the stares, I pulled open the door and stopped, letting my eyes adjust to the dimness in the room. Music pumped through speakers, and the dance floor was packed with people doing some sort of line dance. Kill me now. I hated country music. The things I do for a good lay.

“Hey there, sugar.” I snapped my eyes over to a young girl, who looked barely twenty-one. She was wearing shorts—if you wanted to call them that—and a low cut tank top. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Beer,” I barked out. “Whatever is on tap.” Her smile faltered just slightly before she turned to get my beer. I knew what she probably thought: I was from the wrong side of the tracks, in the wrong bar, and she would take care of me while I was here. Honey, you don’t want any of this.

I sat on the same stool drinking beer after beer while I waited for the band to come on. The place was even more packed than when I first arrived, and I was being jostled on both sides as people came up to order from the bar.

Several women had tried talking to me, but I’d not so kindly told them I wasn’t interested. My phone lit up, and I picked it up. The girls are ready, the text read. I stood, throwing money on the counter and heading to the back where the band was. I was scheduled to meet them briefly before the show and tell them I was from The Outrigger.

I planned on wooing Stephanie right out of her panties.

I walked past what looked like security, who just nodded at me as I moved down the dimly lit hallway. Just as I reached the door where they were, I heard a voice announcing that the band would be out very soon, and loud cheers erupted.

Knocking on the door, I stuck my hands in my jeans pockets and waited. The door swung open almost instantly and I met the eyes of Zaide, the drummer. She was smoking hot, too, with long black hair and almond-shaped eyes. Visions of her and Stephanie taking turns . . .

“You must be Johnny,” she said, interrupting my daydream. “Come in.”

I nodded, following her into the room. Four other sets of eyes followed me as I came in. Stephanie, the bassist Ginger, the guitarist Elle, and someone I didn’t recognize stopped talking as Zaide shut the door behind me.

“This is Stephanie,” Zaide started introductions. I pretended like I didn’t know already. “This is Ginger, Elle, and Stephanie’s sister, Nichole. She doesn’t play; she’s kind of our manager. Not that we need one yet.”

“Nice to meet all of you,” I said, not smiling. My eyes bored into Stephanie’s, and she shifted. I was making her uncomfortable. Good. Her short skirt showcased her legs for miles, and her shirt was see-through and sexy. “I’m Johnny. I’m here for The Outrigger. I just wanted to see you in action.”

Stephanie stepped forward and held out her hand. “Nice to meet you.” I didn’t miss that she held onto my hand for a beat too long, or the look in her eyes as she took in the tattoos scrolling down my arms and peeking out of the collar of my shirt.

I smirked at her. Oh yeah. Just as I thought, she wanted me. It was either the bad boy vibe or my irresistible charm. I almost laughed out loud at the thought.

“The pleasure is mine,” I said in my best bedroom voice. She smelled like something delectable, and I wished the room was empty so I could fill her with myself before she went on the stage. “I have to admit I’m not much of a country fan, but we have a good following at The Outrigger.”

Nichole laughed, turning my attention to her. Damn, she was hot, too. The rest of the girls watched me, interest in their eyes. I’d never had an entire band before, but hell, there was a first time for everything, right? “Then you’ve never seen them,” she said, jutting her chin out.

I pictured coming into the room after the show to congratulate them on a job well done and seeing them all in here naked, ready for me. The mere thought of it had me stirring in my pants.

Clearing my throat, I headed back for the door. “See you out there, girls. Break a leg.” I gave one more long look at Stephanie before shutting the door behind me. For whatever reason I’d decided before I even came here tonight she was the one I wanted, so I had to get to her now.

“You were fucking smoking hot up there,” I said to Stephanie. I’d had a few too many drinks, but I was telling the truth. I hated country, but damn if she couldn’t convert me. The last hour of listening to her belt out lyrics and dance around the stage had gotten to me.

She blinked her large eyes at me, sipping whatever fruity drink she liked. “Thanks. I’m glad you’re enjoying the show.” She wrapped her tongue around the small straw and stared directly at me. Did she know what she was doing? Did she realize what kind of show I wanted?

“I am,” I said, pulling from what might be my tenth beer tonight. If I didn’t end up going with her somewhere, I was going to have to call a cab. I moved in just a hair closer to her, and I heard a small gasp. I smirked at her and leaned close enough to smell the alcohol on her breath. I could see the other girls watching us, but that was okay. They could get in on the action, too.

“I’d like a different show with your panties in my pocket and you dripping wet,” I said into her ear. Stephanie dropped the cup, splashing what was left of her drink on both of our feet. But it didn’t matter because neither of us moved. I watched as her chest heaved with the increase in breathing. I had her. I knew it.

“What kind of panties are you wearing?” I pulled her body to mine until she was standing in between my legs. I snaked my hands around her, resting them just a little too low to be appropriate. She rested her hands on my biceps, her mouth in a small O as she registered my words. I imagined it around my . . .

Stephanie smiled. “What if I said I wasn’t wearing any?” Hell yeah. I liked this girl. She was ready to play.

I looked around quickly. Her band mates had moved away to the dance floor, leaving us alone. She had another fifteen minutes before she went back on. “Want to go back to the room? Or dance?”

Her brain warred with my options. She knew what going back to the room meant. What she didn’t know was I could do many things to her while we danced, also. There was hardly any light over the floor, and I knew just how to use it to my advantage.

“You have a boyfriend? Fiancé, anything?” I might’ve been an asshole, but I wasn’t a home wrecker.

She shook her head, biting her lip in between her teeth. She was conflicted.

“Let’s go dance.” I had every intention of making her horny as hell on this dance floor and making her think of me the entire last hour she played.

The crowd sucked us in as we made our way onto the dance floor. Even though it was country and some were line dancing, there were just as many that were pressed up against each other.

I pressed her body to mine, my hand on her lower back holding her to me. God, she was gorgeous. “I want to fuck you, and hard,” I said into her ear. She gasped again, sending arousal straight to my groin. “I want to bury my fingers in your pussy until you come and then give you what you really want—my cock.”

Stephanie didn’t say a word, but she reached in between us and stroked me over my jeans. Fuck yeah. I didn’t wait one more second. I crashed my lips to hers. She whimpered, hesitating just a fraction of a second before continuing caressing me while her tongue danced with mine. We were pressed so close together no one would be able to see what she was doing, but shit did I want to yank up her skirt and give everyone a real eye full.

I pulled back, putting my lips to her ear. “I can be really fucking quick, baby,” I whispered. “You going to go back on the stage satisfied or horny?”

The little vixen licked her lips. “I have a room. Come back with me after the show. As much as I want you, I’m going to want a whole lot more than five minutes.”

“You can have as long as you want,” I growled, biting her lip. “Just so you know, though, it’s just a hookup.”

She nodded. “Got it.”

The song stopped, and a voice announced that the band would be getting back on stage in five minutes.

“Time to go,” Nichole grabbed Stephanie’s arm, eyeing me suspiciously.

“I’ll be watching you, knowing you’re wet for me,” I whispered before letting her go.

I watched her until she disappeared with the other girls down the hall. Turning back, I went to find myself a perch at the bar when I met the angry eyes of Bex. I stopped, my erection straining against my pants. She was wearing the tightest jeans I’d ever seen and a belly shirt.

What the fuck was she doing here?