Текст книги "Sentenced"

Автор книги: L. L. Collins

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Bex

I was lying on top of Johnny on the futon at my studio. I was leaving in mere days to go tour for a month, and something bad was happening to me.

I liked him.

Scratch that. I fucking hated him. I hated that he got me to talk. I hated that I even wanted to talk. No one got me to talk about my dad. Not Beau or Natalie. Of course, they knew. But that’s because I’d known them back then. Before I’d become the Bex I am now.

Scratch that again. I hated myself for letting someone make a crack in my composure. I’d never told anyone that my dad played in a rock band and taught me to play. What was happening to me?

Johnny stroked my bare back, his fingertips simultaneously trailing fire and goose bumps as he touched me. Sex with Johnny was beyond my wildest imagination. I’d had some . . . freaks. Some guys that were rough, hot, and talented. But Johnny put all of those words in a totally different category.

“I’m going to ask you something, but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

My heart rate shot into the sky. What the fuck was he going to ask me? My throat dried out, and I felt panic rising in my chest. I clenched my fist, forcing myself to breathe. He hasn’t even asked anything yet.

When I didn’t say anything, Johnny put his hand in the waistband of my jeans. It was sexual, but neither of us moved. “Why don’t you like me calling you ‘baby’ or ‘princess’ while we fuck? It’s hard as hell to remember because that’s just a norm for me.”

The panic that had been waiting in the wings broke through the dam, taking me over so fast I had no time to stop it. I sat up, my chest heaving and my breath coming out in short spurts. I tried to calm myself using the things that I always tried, but nothing was happening.

Johnny stood too. “Bex. It’s okay. I’m sorry. Forget I asked.”

It was too late. The panic had to come out. Once the box was opened, it didn’t close. I paced the room, fighting the nasty words that threatened. When I was upset, I was nasty. I knew it. Usually, I didn’t care who the victim was. Except this time, I did.

I did.

I cared.

I stopped in my tracks, turning back to look at Johnny. He watched me, his expression guarded. The few people I’d had panic attacks in front of always tried to hold onto me and talk, asking me what they could do with that pitiful look in their eyes that they were so sorry for my version of crazy.

I wasn’t crazy.

Johnny wasn’t looking at me like that. He was waiting for me to work through it even though he didn’t understand it.

It was two fucking words. Two. And they’d wrecked my life for over ten years.

“I can’t talk about it,” I said finally.

Johnny nodded. “Okay. Tell me what you want to talk about and what’s off limits.” He stepped up to me and cupped my face in his hands. “Just know one thing.”

No one had ever done that to me before. He was looking directly into my eyes. “What’s that?” My voice was wobbly and I hated myself for it. Showing weakness was when people got you.

“I’ll never force you to tell me something you aren’t ready for, so all you have to say is no. Believe me, I get that more than you know.”

People tell you that they get it. But with Johnny, I’d been around him enough to know he was hiding things. Maybe even just as many (or more) than I was. So I figured he probably did know.

“Okay. There are things I can’t talk about—ever. There are others I can talk about parts of them. I get panic attacks out of nowhere. Things can trigger them, or something someone says. I have serious trust issues. I trust exactly two people in this world, and that’s Beau and Natalie.”

Johnny nodded, pulling me back to the futon. We sat, and he tucked me under his arm again. I liked it too much when he held me. “I could say every word that you just said for me. I also have panic attacks from certain triggers. I also have serious trust issues. The two people I trust in this world are my sister and her husband. Up until two years ago, my list was only one. When she got married, he made his way in, too. I use sex to work out my demons.”

Wasn’t that the damn truth. “I do, too.”

“You’re fucking good at it,” he teased, kissing my temple.

I laughed, lightening the mood. I cupped him on the outside of his jeans. “Yeah, you’re pretty good, too.”

He feigned shock. “Pretty good? Did you just say pretty good?” Johnny reached over and slid his hand down my unbuttoned jeans and directly to my clit. I rocked against him immediately. He rubbed his thumb over me as he fingered me, fast and hard.

My eyes were just starting to roll in my head when he pulled back, sitting back like we’d been doing a few minutes ago. “Wha . . . ?”

“You said pretty good. Pretty good only does part of the job.”

I stood, shoving my jeans off and straddling him. I put my lips to his ear, rocking my core against his erection. “No one has ever fucked me like you. That dick, those hands, that mouth are beyond pretty good, and you know it. You’re a fucking one man show I want again and again and again. Now stop holding out on me and give it to me, Rock Star.”

“Rock Star.” Johnny’s mouth quirked up. “I like that. Double meaning. You call me that, and I’ll call you Rocker Girl while I’m playing your guitar.”

I helped him shove his jeans down and then I sank onto him, his eyes never leaving mine. Oh, he was playing my guitar all right. Just not the one sitting nicely in the corner watching us.

“Daddy! Daddy! Don’t let them take me! I’m sorry! I’ll be a better girl! Daddy!”

The man pulled me by the arm, hard. I cried out, using my free hand to try to pry his hand off of mine. “Let. Me. GO!”

He stopped, looking back at me. “You have to go with me, sweetie. I’m sorry.”

“NO! You’re a stranger! This is my house! That’s my daddy!”

“Your daddy is going to jail, and no one else is available to take care of you. It’ll be okay. We’re going to take you to a nice house. You can get some clean clothes and a good meal.”

My stomach growled as I thought of food. I didn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. I’d been excited when Daddy sold his guitar for groceries, but I never saw any.

I swung my eyes back, seeing the red and blue lights reflecting off of everything in the dark. The officer was putting my dad in the back, his hands cuffed behind him.

“No! He didn’t do anything! Don’t take him!”

“Is there anything in the house you want, Bexley? My friend can get it.”

I stopped fighting, watching as the police car pulled out of the driveway with my dad in the back of it. His eyes met mine, but he didn’t smile or blow me a kiss. I had a million questions. What did he do? When would I see him again?

“I want the picture of my Mommy next to my bed,” I said, my voice flat. “And my stuffed rabbit that’s on my bed.”

“I’ll get those things and some clothes for you,” a strange lady said from beside me.

The man opened the back door to a strange car, and I crumpled, falling into it. First I’d killed my mom, and now I’d sent my dad away. I was nothing. I had nothing.

“It’s going to be okay,” the man said. Tears rolled down my face, but I couldn’t look at him. Nothing was ever going to be okay again.

I shot up, sweat soaking my body as I came back into reality from the dream. Flinging the covers off, I stripped my shirt and shorts off and headed for the shower.

I hated that fucking dream. I hated all of them. They wouldn’t leave me alone and let me move on. So my dad had been arrested, and I’d been taken away from him. That was so long ago that it still shouldn’t be haunting me.

I hadn’t had any contact with my dad since I was seven years old, and strangers had come into my bedroom and ripped me from the only life I’d ever known. It hadn’t been until I was a teenager and left the tenth foster home I’d lived in that I even looked up where he was.

I stepped into the hot shower, letting it wash the nightmare and all the thoughts of my dad down the drain. I was surprised at just how sore I was from the evening with Johnny. I smiled. God, that man. What I ever did to deserve to have sex with him was beyond me. I wasn’t sure anyone would ever compare to him.

He wanted to take me to lunch today and hang out on our rare day off. Johnny wanted to take me out. I’d agreed, but I’d also been in post-orgasm (okay, post-multiple-orgasm) bliss.

What are you doing, Bex? This is never going to end well. Johnny kept saying we were friends, but I didn’t know how to have friends, and neither did he. I was leaving to go on tour, and then what? Did friends talk to each other on the phone? Text? Email? I lived with Beau and Natalie and spent most of my days with them, so I had no idea. Sad, huh?

I liked to have sex with him. A lot. Duh. Wouldn’t anyone? The man had serious skills. I touched my sensitive flesh, the images flashing through my head like a movie reel. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly go another round, he’d prove me wrong.

There’d only been a handful of times over the last ten years that I’d slept with a guy more than once; there was always an understanding that Bex didn’t do strings. Well, I take that back. The only strings I did were on my guitar. The rest, no. Give me what we both want and get the hell out.

I’d broken all the rules with Johnny.

I liked breaking the rules.

Something was wrong with me.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.” Natalie slid a cup of coffee across the bar as I walked into the kitchen. She was the only one that could give me shit and get away with it, and she used it to her advantage frequently. Damn that saving my life and shit.

“Shut the fuck up,” I said with a smile. “Give me the coffee and no one gets hurt.”

“I heard you come in last night,” Natalie said, sipping her own nectar of the gods. “Or should I say, this morning.”

I shrugged. “So?”

She wiggled her eyebrows. “He’s that good, is he?”

I snorted, thankfully not while drinking coffee. “Natalie, you seriously need to get laid.”

She narrowed her eyes on me. “I’ve been a little busy. I’ll gladly take a turn with Johnny.”

I swore steam rose out of my ears, and it wasn’t from the coffee. “The fuck you will.”

Natalie roared. “Oh Bex, you have it bad.”

“Have what bad? He’s a fucking god in bed. Shit, that man.”

She shook her head at me. “If that’s what you’re going with. Anyone that looks at him can tell that. He’s the whole ‘bad boy’ package. I don’t think anyone would throw that out of their bed. Those muscles . . . the tattoos . . .”

“Shut. Up.”

She smirked. “Is Bex jealous?”

It was time to put this banter to bed for once and for all. “Jealous? Of what? That he gave me so many orgasms last night I thought I might die? That I could hardly walk to my car or up to the apartment? That I have scruff burn on my . . .”

Natalie smacked her hand down on the counter. “Okay stop. You win. I need a cold shower and a visit with B.O.B.”

I crossed my arms in front of me. “It won’t do the job like he does,” I gloated. “And, I always win.”

“You’ve seen him more than once,” she said. She was always calling me on my shit, no matter what.

“And?” I sipped the coffee, buying myself a few more seconds before the inquisition. I was only tolerating this because I was still daydreaming about all of the things I would do to Johnny later after lunch. I wondered if we could find a secluded place and live out his fantasy of his bike . . .

“You don’t see anyone that much.” My eyes snapped back to hers as she interrupted my daydream.

“You just said yourself no one would throw him out of their bed.”

“You’re deflecting.”

I sighed. “And you’re pissing me off. Drop it.”

She stared at me for a moment. “I have a phone conference today with Halestorm’s manager. I have a shit ton to do before we roll out.”

Thank God she dropped it. “Okay.”

Natalie nodded. “You seeing Johnny today?” Ugh. I should’ve known it was too good to be true.

I didn’t want to tell her anything, but somehow Natalie always got it out of me. “Lunch later and hanging out.”

Her eyebrow lifted. “You’re going on a date?”

I gritted my teeth. I loved this girl and she’d dedicated her life to this band, but if she didn’t shut up, I was going to lose it. “I don’t fucking date. It’s lunch, Nat.”

“You’re going to lunch and to ‘hang out.’ With a guy. That’s a date. You’ve never been on a date.”

I smacked my hand on the counter. She crossed her arms, undeterred by my tantrum. “We’re friends. Friends go to lunch.”

“Bex.” Natalie leaned over and put her hand on mine, which I promptly yanked away. “You don’t have friends other than me and Beau. No offense, but you aren’t friends with Johnny.”

“How the fuck do you know what we are?” I stood, walking across the kitchen to refill my coffee and grab a muffin.

“I saw him watching you last night at rehearsal. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nat. Not that I have to defend myself to you, but we have sex. A lot of it. He was probably picturing all the things he was going to do to me.”

“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever known,” Natalie said. “Have lunch with your friend, Bex. Fuck him six ways to Sunday, too. But don’t be surprised when he wants more.”

“Johnny doesn’t want more. We both agreed.”

She nodded, giving me the ‘you’re full of shit’ look. “If you say so.” With that, she walked back to her room and shut the door. As soon as it closed, I flipped her off. It made me feel momentarily better.

We agreed.

I still agreed.

Right?

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Johnny said as he walked up to the table. “I had a hard time getting out of bed today.”

I smiled, knowing exactly why that was. “You’re good. I just got here.”

He surprised me by sitting next to me in the booth instead of across from me. I gasped as he grabbed my head and pulled me to him, kissing the breath right out of me. His tongue glided against mine. The scent of his aftershave wafted through my senses, and I immediately wanted him. Again.

Just before I was going to climb in his lap and give the restaurant a show, he pulled back. My lips stung from the kiss in the best way. “Hi,” he said, a small smirk on his lips.

“Well hi,” I said. I reached my hand out and touched my lips.

“There’s more where that came from . . . later,” he growled into my ear. “I woke up this morning rock fucking hard thinking of you riding me again. It was so fucking real that I was seriously pissed off that you weren’t in my bed.”

I’d love to be in his bed. What? You’d love to be in his bed? For sex, just for sex. Right.

Now I was arguing with myself. In my head. I needed an intervention.

“You live with your sister and her husband, right? And you said they have a baby?” This should be safe territory. I thought of Natalie’s words this morning. Yes, we could be friends. I could learn how to have one other than her and Beau (well and Tanner and Ryver too, but that wasn’t the same).

The waitress came, and Johnny ordered a beer. I stuck with water, needing to hydrate.

“Yeah. My baby sister, Julia. She’s ten years younger than me.”

I realized I had no idea how old he was. “How old are you?”

“Old enough to show you a real good time.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Nah, I’m thirty-six.”

I wasn’t much older than his sister. “I’m twenty-seven.”

“I know.”

“How do you know?”

“Your website?”

I nodded, sticking my straw into the glass the waitress just brought. “Right.”

“Anyway, I wanted to move in with Cal—the guy at The Outrigger—but Julia wouldn’t have it. I was always her protector, and we’ve always been very close, so she wouldn’t hear anything about me not staying with her.”

“Where are you from?”

“Denver. You?”

The familiar flutters came into my stomach, but I pushed them away. I could do this. I didn’t have to tell him my life story. “A small town in Georgia. But I haven’t lived there since I was a kid.” I left out that I’d lived in so many homes I couldn’t even tell him all of them.

He nodded, placated. “I was hanging with my niece, Calia, this morning. They think she’s cutting her first tooth, and she had a fever. Julia hadn’t slept all night so I watched her so she could take a nap for a few hours. So really I wasn’t late because I was sleeping. I was late because I let Julia sleep.”

My eyes widened. Who the hell was this guy? He took care of his baby niece so his sister could sleep? That didn’t seem like him. Or maybe it did. Maybe I knew nothing at all. “You take care of babies?”

“She’s the first one I’ve ever held,” he said. “But I just love staring into her face. It’s like everything is right with the world when you look at her. So innocent and untainted. I’d give my life for that baby. And her mom.”

Deflect. Dodge. The talk about babies couldn’t continue. I cleared my throat. “I bet you say that to all the girls to make their panties wet, huh?” When all else failed, use sarcasm.

“Do I need to use that to make your panties wet?” Johnny’s eyes zeroed in on my lap. “I bet if I touched you right now you’d be soaked.”

“Pompous ass,” I said, but he knew I didn’t mean it.

He shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”

I wanted to ask him again about music: what did he play, how long had he played, why didn’t he play anymore? The desire to stand next to him and play together consumed me, and I didn’t understand it. I wouldn’t push him too hard though because he’d been so great with telling me I never had to tell him anything I didn’t want to. But I had to at least try.

“If we went to the studio after this, would you play with me?”

“I’ll play with you any time, any place,” Johnny said, putting his menu down and kissing me again.

When he let me up to breathe again, I laughed. “No, not like that. Well, yes, that too. But would you play music with me?”

He stiffened, turning back away from me and picking up the menu. “I fucking said no, Bex. I told you I can’t.”

Shit. I was a bitch. I watched him for a second, his jaw clenched as he pretended to read the menu. “I’m sorry.” The words felt foreign. I didn’t apologize. Ever. But I just did.

Johnny turned his face to mine. He took a deep breath, working through whatever demons I’d knocked out of their corners. I surprised myself again and reached my hand out and entwined our fingers. He watched me, his jaw still ticking but less rigid than before. His eyes zeroed in on our fingers. My small fingers were mixed with his large, manly ones.

Friends. I could be his friend. Friends held hands and comforted each other, right? I thought so.

“I’m a dick. I have no idea how to be your friend.” He didn’t pull back, but I sensed that he wanted to. I removed my hand and placed it back in my lap.

I shrugged. “I’m a bitch, and I have no idea how to be your friend, either. So I guess if we want to be friends we just realize this about each other?”

The waitress reappeared and we ordered, comfortable silence settling between us.

“I have to work tonight,” Johnny said. “But I want to hang out with you after lunch.”

“That’s cool,” I said.

“I get off late, but if you want to . . .” Johnny left the sentence hanging, waiting for me to take the bait. Did I want him? Hell yeah, I did.

“Can we go somewhere private after lunch? Beau may be home, but he plays video games in his room.”

“You live with Beau?”

“And Natalie.”

“Have you fucked him?”

I laughed. “Ew, that’s disgusting. Beau is like my brother. We’ve known each other a long time.” Don’t ask. Please don’t ask.

“What about Tanner or Ryver?” I breathed out slowly, thanking the stars he didn’t go there.

I shook my head. “I don’t sleep with my band.” Except for that one time, but there’s no reason for him to know about that.

“I bet they’ve tried, though.” Yeah, we did. But it was a mistake.

I shrugged. “Maybe at first. But I’m a bitch, you know. One withering look from me and they shrivel up.”

Johnny covered his crotch. “Don’t make me shrivel up.”

“I would never,” I teased. “That would punish me. And I kinda like it.”

“You kinda like it? Oh, here we go again. Do I need to punish you?”

“Depends on what kind of punishment you mean.”

“I think we need to get a doggie bag.”

Johnny

I flopped down at the breakfast bar in Julia and Carter’s kitchen, careful not to be too loud. It was late, or early, again. Between going to Bex’s apartment after lunch and making her scream so loud Beau knocked on the wall, then to work, and then having Bex again at her studio, I was wrecked. In the best way possible. I was off today and planned on sleeping for the entire day.

She was leaving very soon on tour. Whatever would my dick do for a month?

I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else. The thought shocked me, but it was true. I definitely didn’t want her sleeping with anyone else. The problem was I had no idea how to broach that subject with her. Both of us being with each other was like trying to navigate carefully through each other’s minefields. Since we didn’t know what each other’s triggers were (well, we each knew at least one), we were walking blindly, never knowing when we’d get blown up.

It was exhausting. I found myself wanting to talk to her because I thought she might just get it. All of it. But I couldn’t. The words, the thoughts, the memories were right there, but I couldn’t make myself say them. No one knew. Not even Julia.

So why did I want to tell Bex?

Sighing, I flipped through the mail on the counter. I was hoping for a letter from my attorney about a court date for my record to be expunged. I saw an envelope with my name on it and looked at the return address. Nothing.

Strange. I slid my finger under the flap and lifted out the piece of paper. I opened it up and saw just four words in the middle of the page.

SHE LOOKS LIKE HER

What the fuck was this? I turned it over, seeing nothing else. Who looks like who? The cryptic message reminded me of the note in my bike the other night that I’d assumed had been some idiot at the club who was jealous. What had it said?

I slid on my shoes and walked out to my bike, lifting the other paper out of the compartment where I’d left it. I’d completely forgotten about it until now.

I SEE YOU . . . AND HER

I walked back inside and laid the two papers next to each other. A cold feeling came over me, making me shiver.

“I see you . . . and her,” I said out loud. “What does that mean? You see me? Okay, great. You see who? Who is her?” I’d assumed it was Bex, but what if it wasn’t? What if it was . . . Julia? Calia?

My eyes shifted to the new note. Whoever sent it not only had my name but also my address. Julia’s address. “She looks like her.” Again, who is she and who is her?

I heard Calia making cooing noises, so I knew Julia would be up soon. I took the notes and tucked them into my pocket, my mind reeling. So the first note hadn’t been a fluke or an asshole at the bar just being dumb.

Someone was sending me notes.

That someone knew my bike, knew where I was, and now knew where I lived.

That meant whoever was tracking me knew where my sister was.

Fear gripped my chest, and I felt the familiar tingling of a panic attack coming. My breath was coming out in spurts and spots were appearing behind my eyes. What was happening? Why was someone sending me cryptic notes?

“Johnny?” I felt Julia’s small hand on my back. Fight, Johnny. Get through it. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on breathing through the panic. Her soft touch helped, bringing me back much quicker than usual.

I looked up at her, trying to force a smile. “Hey, Jules.”

“Are you okay?” She was holding Calia, her eyes trained on my face.

I nodded. “Yes. Sorry. I wasn’t feeling well for a moment.”

I knew Julia didn’t buy it, but she didn’t call me on it. “You need some sleep, Johnny. I thought I was exhausted with a baby, but I don’t even know that you’ve slept a full night since you got here.”

I probably hadn’t. “I know. I’m going to sleep most of the day today. I’m off.”

She settled Calia in her little bouncy chair and turned to get a cup of coffee. Calia kicked her legs and blew raspberries, making me smile. That baby was something else.

“So what’s going on?” Julia’s back was still to me, but I should’ve known. She wasn’t going to let things go.

“What do you mean?”

“This is more than just a hook up, right?”

That wasn’t what I was expecting at all. “What?”

She turned back, sipping the coffee before continuing. “Sex is just a distraction, you know.”

I tried to ignore that my baby sister said sex, but I couldn’t. It just sounded all wrong. “Julia . . .”

She held up her hand, effectively silencing me. “You know I let you be most of the time, Johnny. Even though you won’t talk to me, and I know you need help getting through the stuff that happened to you, I let it go. I’ve given up on you seeing Mia or anyone else to help you through it. But I love you, Johnny. I know you’re a grown man that can do as he pleases, but I feel like I need to say something.”

I lifted my own coffee cup and sipped the now cold liquid, avoiding her penetrating gaze. What could I say? What was she going to say?

“This girl you’ve been seeing, what’s her name?”

How did she know I’d been seeing the same girl? What if I’d had a different one each night? Instead of saying that, which is what I would’ve said to anyone else questioning me, I decided to be straight with her. “Bex. Bexley.”

I forced myself to look at her. She stood just across the island from me, sipping her coffee and watching me. Studying me. Trying to figure out her point of attack.

“She’s going out on tour in a few days, and she’ll be gone for a month,” I offered.

Julia nodded. “And what’s the deal with her? She’s in a band, which is what drew you to her. What else.”

“Nothing,” I said. “We’re just friends.”

She laughed. “Friends? Really?”

Images of all of the things Bex and I had done together rolled through my head. No, we weren’t friends. I shrugged. “Yeah.”

“So what are you doing with your friend until dawn every day?” Julia’s dimple popped as she smirked at me, knowing full well what the answer was.

“I’m not talking to you about this,” I said, getting up to get fresh coffee. “I’m a big boy, Jules. I’ve got it all under control. I love you, but this conversation ends here.”

“Why won’t you just talk to me, Johnny? Why are you so afraid to open up to someone?” I heard her voice crack, and I hated myself for upsetting her. “Or maybe you are talking, just not to me. Wait. Oh, my god. Are you in love with her?”

I dropped the coffee cup, hot liquid splashing down my legs as the cup crashed to the floor, breaking into pieces. “Fuck,” I hissed as pain shot through my body.

“Johnny! I’m so sorry!” Julia appeared next to me with paper towels, first wiping the scalding coffee off of my legs and then around me. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, crouching down to pick up the broken pieces of the mug.

“Everything okay in here?” Carter’s voice came from behind us.

“I dropped my coffee cup. Sorry, bro.”

“Did you burn yourself?” Carter indicated the red spots on my legs.

“I’ll be fine. I’m just going to go rinse off.”

I headed down the hallway, leaving Julia and Carter looking after me. Her words bounced off of every corner of my brain like boomerangs. Are you in love with her?

I’d never love anyone. Not again.

I burst through the front door, ignoring the interested looks of whoever was hanging out here. I had to get to her. I could feel it in my core that something was wrong. I swung my eyes back and forth in the dim living room. She wasn’t in here, so I made a beeline for the bedroom that I shared with a few of the other guys. She still slept in my bed, even though I wasn’t allowed to touch her.

Jill and I hadn’t made love since the night Ray had raped her. She hadn’t spoken two words to me. She wouldn’t even let me hold her. Most of the time I saw her, she was high. Before that night, she’d never used before. Since that night, I either saw a needle in her or Ray’s dick. He made sure to fuck her in the living room all the time. Sometimes he shared her with a few others. Each time I tried to go after him, and every time one of them would hold me while I was forced to watch her. She’d given up on fighting him. Instead, she laid there like a rag doll and let them, her eyes glassed over with whatever they’d shot her up with.

I was still going to get her out of here. I’d love her through this and we’d make it. Because I loved her, and that’s what you did when you loved someone.

The door hit the wall, almost hitting me with the force. The room was pitch dark, so I flicked the light switch. Dim light revealed Jill lying in my bed, her back to me. I breathed out, relief flooding my system. The whole day, I’d had a bad feeling about her. I couldn’t figure out why, but damn was I glad to see her there.

Walking up to the bed, I sat down carefully. My fingers itched to touch her like I used to when she craved my touch. Her long hair cascaded down her back. Her slight body was dressed in only a tank top and underwear.

I reached my hand out to touch her gently, just for a second. If she was asleep—or high—maybe she wouldn’t know I was touching her. The second my fingers touched her skin I recoiled. She was ice cold.

I jumped up, turning her so she was facing me. Open, lifeless eyes stared up at me.

“NO!” I shouted, my fingers going back to her neck. Nothing. Before I could stop myself, I pulled her into my lap and held her. “Jill, wake up. I’m here. God, I’m here. I let this happen to you, baby. I’m so sorry. Please wake up for me. I’m going to get us out of here right now.”

Jill’s head bobbed as I held onto her, tears streaking down my face and dripping onto her lifeless one. She was gone. She’d probably been gone since I’d left two days ago on a ‘trip’. What the hell had they done to her? Had they done this on purpose?

“Such a shame,” Ray cackled at the door. “She loved my dick, though, and shit if that pussy wasn’t sweet. But turns out, she loved the needle just a little more. You were going to save her, were you, Frat Boy?” He guffawed, coming closer. Rage sliced through me. He did this. This was all his fault. “You know better than that,” his foul breath said into my face. “You weren’t getting her out of here, and you aren’t getting out of here, either. This is your consequence for even trying to outsmart us. I fucked her while she took her last breath. My cum is still in her pussy. Wanna see?”