Текст книги "Sentenced"
Автор книги: L. L. Collins
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 18 страниц)
Johnny
Six months later . . .
“Ready?” I nodded, and Bex tapped her foot on the ground and counted us off. We started playing simultaneously, the notes flowing from our fingers like we’d always played together.
I closed my eyes, our rhythm so seamless I could do it in my sleep. We’d been playing together every day for the last six months, ever since the day our lives had changed forever. When I’d thought Bex had been shot, everything changed for me. She was carrying my baby. I loved her. She got me to play again. We were engaged.
She made me alive.
I looked over at her baby bump, so cute at almost eight months pregnant. We opted not to know what we were having. Bex was more worried than she would let on about having a stillbirth again, so we convinced her doctor to let her have a scheduled caesarean. Our baby would be born on its due date, which was not much past what would’ve been Gibson’s eleventh birthday.
We were practicing for what we were going to do later. It was a surprise that no one but Natalie knew about. We’d tried to keep it from her, but she was the band’s manager and all.
Ryver had decided a few weeks ago that he was going to move to Mexico to be with his mother and her family, leaving a spot for a guitar player in Jaded Regret. Bex had asked me the same day if I would join and not only be her second guitarist, but sing with her as well. I hadn’t needed two seconds to answer her.
Seemed that we were a powerhouse not just in bed, but also on the stage, too.
We were making our debut together tonight at a sold out show of our own. Seemed that their month long tour with Halestorm had gotten the attention of a record label. We were recording a new album with that label starting in a few months, after the baby was born. Until then, they had us playing around the state to keep Bex close to home. After hearing me play and Bex and I sing together, they’d had no issue with Ryver being replaced by me.
They even wanted Bex and me for the cover of the album. Front and center. The bad boy and bad girl of rock that were not only band mates, but about to be married, too.
We’d taken the song ‘Broken’ that she had sung to me all those months ago and rewritten it. It was now called ‘No Longer Broken’, and it would be not only our debut song tonight at our first live concert together, but also the first single to our new album.
“We’re ready,” Bex said, setting her guitar down gently and walking up to me.
“Sure seems we are,” I said, setting my Gibson down and placing my hands on her protruding stomach. She was the fucking sexiest pregnant woman I’d ever seen. Her stomach being in the way had done absolutely nothing to deter our sex life. We had it just as much as ever before, and in some damn creative ways, too.
“Are you ready to marry me?” Bex smiled, looking down at my hands on her stomach. “Or should I say, us?”
“Hell yeah,” I said. “Can I practice the honeymoon first?”
Bex ran her hands up the front of my shirt and back down, stopping at the button to my jeans. “I thought you’d never ask.” If I thought that woman was a sex goddess before, her being pregnant made her even more so. I’d keep her knocked up for the rest of our lives if her drive stayed this high. She was fucking insatiable.
Bex stood up on her tiptoes and put her lips against my ear. “I want to still feel where that rock hard cock was inside me hours from now, Johnny. Do me. Hard. Take me from behind and make me scream your name.”
“Fucking hell, Bex,” I said, making quick work of clothes. Bex strutted to the futon where we’d spent so much time doing this same thing. Except after today, she’d be my wife, not just a lead singer of a band I wanted to fuck. She was the mother to my child and my whole world.
And I was going to give her every fucking thing she wanted. And then some.
“Are we crazy?” Bex laughed, wrapping my finger with a new Band-Aid to replace the ugly white gauze it had been wrapped in before.
“Well duh,” I said. “We knew this a long time ago.” She handed me a Band-Aid, and I wrapped it around her finger.
“Sexy,” she said, putting her finger next to mine.
“Only for a little while,” I said. “Then we get to reveal them.”
“Everyone here?” Bex smoothed her bump. She was wearing a short black lace dress with her favorite leather jacket. Her hair was curled and falling down her back. A black pearl choker finished off her outfit, and she had on bright red heels. It wasn’t anything you would normally see at someone’s wedding, but that was us. She was the most smokin’ hot woman I’d ever seen.
“Yes,” I said. My parents, Julia, Carter, and Calia, our band, and Cal were here. The only people we wanted with us on our special day.
Bex helped roll up the sleeves to my dark grey button down shirt. “You look good enough to eat,” she said, cupping me through my dark jeans.
“It’s our wedding night,” I reminded her, pushing against her hand. “And I can’t knock you up.”
“You already did that,” she laughed. “Now get out of here. It’s bad luck for you to see me before the wedding.” We both exchanged a look and rolled our eyes. Screw superstition. We’d already defied all odds.
I walked out and took my place by the stage in the bar where I’d first laid eyes on Bex, where I’d thought I was going to lose her, and where I realized that I loved her.
The beach was shut off for a ‘private event’ as the signs said and guarded with hired security guards. Our newfound notoriety made us be a lot more cautious than before. However, after our private party, we were set up for the biggest wedding reception/concert on the beach. We’d sold two hundred exclusive tickets for a hefty price within minutes of putting them on sale. Every single dime we raised would go to the foundation Bex had recently started to help young teen girls who were in foster care learn life skills and techniques to help them adjust to the real world once they aged out of the system. She’d also started a housing program to give them a safe place to live, which was now at capacity. Bex was looking into a bigger facility. Best of all, she was involved there and spent as much time as she could being a mentor for the girls.
“She okay?” Beau was officiating the ceremony, having taken an online course to be able to marry us. It went right along with us doing things out of the norm.
“Perfect,” I said. “Start the music. Let’s get this show on the road.” I looked over to my sister, who already had tears in her eyes. Carter was holding her hand tightly. My mom dabbed her eyes with a tissue, and my dad nodded his approval at me.
Things with my parents were better, and Bex had a lot to do with that. She’d encouraged me to heal that part of my life as well, especially since they were the only grandparents our baby was going to have. They were planning to be in Florida for the birth of both of their grandbabies, mine and Julia’s. While there were still things that were hard for me to get past about our relationship, I was willing to keep trying. I wanted to see them redeem themselves through my child.
They were very willing to take as small of steps as I wanted. They both called me at least once a week, and my mom had taken to talking to Bex several times a week. She was so excited about our baby and was already spoiling him or her rotten. They were genuinely listening to me now and not trying to control everything.
Bex knew to come in when she heard the chords to ‘My Forever.’ As soon as Natalie hit ‘play,’ the soft sounds of the song I’d sung for her started filtering through the speakers. Bex burst through the door in her typical fashion, making us all laugh. As she liked to say, she wasn’t girly or frilly. She was rough, tough, and also the most sensitive, caring person I’d ever known.
Beau recited words from his book in a monotone voice. We joked and made fun of him through the whole ceremony, taking nothing seriously. Once he got to the part about rings, we both made a show of taking off our Band-Aids. Today we’d gotten tattoos on our ring fingers instead of rings. Well, Bex’s was just henna since she was pregnant, but we’d get the real one as soon as our baby was born. Mine was barbed wire, a replica of the kind that kept me locked in my own prison for too many years. In between the wires was her name in jagged letters. Hers was an infinity symbol, with a small heart in the center on the front. My name wound around the symbol.
We recited normal wedding vows, leaving the personal stuff for behind closed doors. We weren’t the kind that liked to get all mushy in front of people.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Beau said finally. I dipped Bex back and kissed her from her neck to her lips, making our guests laugh and catcall.
Her eyes gleamed as I lifted her back up and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “You’re mine.”
“You got that fucking right,” I said. “Now let’s go give some people a concert they won’t forget.”
The crowd screamed as Bex and I went onto the stage. They hadn’t known until they got here that we’d gotten married just a little while ago. After the ceremony, we’d had a quiet dinner together at The Outrigger, enjoying having all of our favorite people together at once.
“Surprise! Doesn’t my bride look fucking beautiful?” I shouted at the crowd. Bex curtsied, loving being on the stage. “You can only look, though, because she’s mine.” They laughed. “Did you see my baby, too? Cooking good in there.” The audience awed. “We’re going to do something brand new for you tonight. You’re the first to hear it. Are you ready?”
The group cheered. Of course, it being an outside concert, we’d attracted attention from up and down the beach. People were standing outside the guarded blockades, listening.
“Heyyyy everybody,” Bex’s raspy voice jumped in. People loved her. “My sexy hubby and I have been working hard on this song for you. Are you ready to hear it? It’s our wedding present to you.” The crowd screamed, jumping up and down in anticipation. She looked over at me. “This song is called ‘No Longer Broken.’ It was co-written by the two of us. It’s kind of our story.”
Our eyes met and we began playing, the crowd fading away. It was just us. “Here we are . . . we used to be lost and lonely, always in pain. All we ever wanted was to be loved, but didn’t think it would happen. Life crushed our spirit, made us hardened and angry . . . We were broken. . . . so broken . . . until the day we put each other back together again. Now we’re no longer broken . . . no longer broken . . . because we have each other. Through the pain, through the trials . . . though we thought we weren’t able to be fixed . . . we were wrong . . . so wrong . . .”
As we went back into the chorus, both of our voices in sync with each other, I looked over at Bex. Her eyes were closed as they often were when she sang. The lights from the stage illuminated a fine sheen of sweat on her face, her guitar hanging from her while I played alone to the melody of her voice.
Our voices began trailing off as we reached the end of the powerful song and she opened her eyes, smiling at me. I stepped towards her and kissed her, not caring that we were being watched by hundreds of people. The crowd screamed and cheered.
I smiled as I pulled away from her. We were both breathless, partly from singing and partly because we were a fucking combustible force together. I put the microphone between us so we could sing the last line together.
“We were once locked up, sentenced to a life of pain and misery. But we’re not broken anymore . . .”
“Come here, Lennox,” Bex called. Lennox squealed, loving her independence now that she knew how to walk well. She was chasing a butterfly across the expansive grass.
“I’ll get her,” I laughed. Lennox saw me coming and pumped her legs faster, squealing louder as she tried to outrun me. “I’m gonna get you, Lennox Taylor.”
Just before I reached her she plopped on the ground dissolved in giggles. “Da! Da!”
“Come here you silly girl,” I scooped her up. “Mommy wants us to come over there. Then you can run.” Just like always, Lennox popped her thumb into her mouth and rested her head on my shoulder the second I picked her up.
While her mom had changed my life almost two years ago by playing at The Outrigger, Lennox had put the icing on the cake for us. When she’d been born just over a year ago, I felt like I’d finally figured out what I was put on this Earth for: to be Bex’s husband, band mate, and now father to Lennox.
Now here we were, together as a family, on the anniversary of Gibson’s birth and death, visiting his grave. This was the first time since Bex had put him to rest here that she’d been back, and it had been important for her to introduce Lennox to her brother even though she wouldn’t understand.
I reached Bex’s side, settling Lennox next to her on the grass. It was a simple headstone with Gibson Bryant etched into the stone. Bex had brought a stuffed bear to leave at the grave.
Lennox picked up the bear and hugged it to her chest. “This is for your brother,” Bex explained. Lennox’s little brow furrowed as she tried to understand. “Your brother is in Heaven, but he’ll always look out for you.” She patted the ground where he was buried. “Gibson.”
Lennox was as smart as a whip. She loved echoing everything we said and did, including already strumming on our guitars when we played. It was part of our nightly routine, after bath time. Lennox would go point to our guitars (but never touch, she knew that already) and say ‘g’tar, pway.’ It was the best part of my day.
Tears shone in Bex’s eyes. “Gibson is your brother. Put the bear here for him.”
Lennox studied her mom’s face, her expression serious. She hated to see anyone cry. She babbled, trying to repeat her mom’s words.
“Yes, baby. Give the bear to Gibson, Lennox. Put it right there by Mommy.”
Lennox did what she was told and then plopped on Bex’s lap, looking up at me expectedly. “I love you, baby girl.”
“Wuv da,” she said, turning her face so she could see Bex. “Wuv ma.”
“I love you,” I said to Bex. I knew this was a very hard day for her. As happy as we were together, she would always wonder what her life would’ve been like had she gotten the chance to be a mother to Gibson.
“I love you, too,” she said, wrapping Lennox in a hug and kissing her soft head. “I can’t even believe this is our life now.”
“Believe it,” I said, leaning over to kiss both of my girls and rub Bex’s belly where my son was growing.
Our record with the big label had come out two months ago. It had spent every day since it’s release in the top ten on the rock charts. Six months from now, after our family settled from having our second child, a son we would name Jaden Jonathan at Bex’s insistence, we would start our own tour around the country as the headliners. We would be making it a family affair and bringing the kids with us.
Julia and Carter had welcomed baby Julian a few weeks before Lennox was born, and they said their family was complete. Our kids would grow up to be the best of friends, just like we were. Even though Bex and I couldn’t be any more different than my sister and her husband, it just worked.
My parents had come out for both Julian and Lennox’s birth, and things finally seemed like they were on track in every part of my life. I’d finally stopped looking over my shoulder, always worried that someone was going to pop out of the shadows and resurrect my old life. It seemed that despite my now rather public persona that my skeletons were staying in their closet. I hoped I never had to revisit that part of my life again. I knew that I couldn’t live life in fear of what might happen because there were never any guarantees in life. So I lived each day loving my career, my wife, and my child, and went to bed at night thankful for the time I’ve been given.
When I thought back to the life I had before I’d met Bex, it often felt like I wasn’t even the same person. But then again, I guessed I wasn’t. Back then I’d been determined to keep myself in my own self-imposed prison, locking myself away from any possibility of feeling anything or doing anything that I loved ever again.
But once Bex found the key to my cell and opened up the bars, I’d been free ever since. My sentence had been served. It was time to live. She’d freed me, and I’d freed her. Together, we put the past behind us and moved on to bigger and better things.
THE END
THE LIVING AGAIN SERIES
(all standalones, but best read as the series)
Living Again (Living Again #1)
Reaching Rachel (Living Again #2)
Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3)
Finding Forever (Living Again #4)
Breaking Free: A Living Again Novella (Living Again #4.5)
LIVING AGAIN BOXED SET
Living Again Boxed Set
THE TWISTED SERIES (NOT standalones)
Twisted Souls (Twisted #1)
Twisted Paths (Twisted #2)
STANDALONES
Back to the Drawing Board
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L.L. Collins loves spending her days in the Florida sun with her husband and two boys, reading, and writing. LL has been writing since she was old enough to write. Always a story in her head, she finally decided to let the characters out made her lifelong dream of becoming an author come true in the self-publishing world. She's the author of the Living Again Series and the Twisted Series, plus a new standalone, Back to the Drawing Board. Visit LL on her website, www.llcollinsauthor.com and on all social media. Look for more of her emotionally charged novels soon!
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Thank you first and foremost to my amazing readers. Without you, I'd just be writing for myself. Thank you for eagerly anticipating what is coming next and keeping my dream alive.
To my amazing betas, for which this book wouldn't be half what it is now without them: Kellie, Mindy, Tracey, Mary Ellen, Jo, Jess, Jill, and Becca. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to help me make this story the best it could be.
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Playlist on Spotify
Bed of Roses ~ Bon Jovi
So Cold ~ Breaking Benjamin
The Reason ~ Hoobastank
I Saw Red ~ Warrant
Never Stop ~ SafetySuit
Self Esteem ~ The Offspring
Every Rose Has It’s Thorn ~ Poison
Without You ~ Motley Crue
More Than Words ~ Extreme
Alone ~ Heart
Famous Last Words ~ My Chemical Romance
Breakeven ~ The Script
Here Without You ~ 3 Doors Down
My Immortal ~ Evanescence
Nothing Else Matters ~ Metallica
Numb ~ Linkin Park
I’ll Follow You ~ Shinedown
Dear Agony ~ Breaking Benjamin
Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone) ~ Cinderella
I Remember You ~ Skid Row
Blurry ~ Puddle of Mudd
Remedy ~ Seether
Love-Hate-Sex-Pain ~ Godsmack
What I Got ~ Sublime
I Hate Everything About You ~ Three Days Grace
Locked Away ~ R. City, Adam Levine
I Don’t Wanna Be In Love ~ Dark Waves
Fix You ~ Coldplay
Foxy, Foxy ~ Rob Zombie
What Do I Have To Do? ~ Stabbing Westward
Here’s to Us ~ Halestorm
Walk ~ Pantera
Lithium ~ Evanescence
Closer ~ Nine Inch Nails
Can’t Take My Eyes Off You ~ Cary Brothers
Love Bites [So Do I] ~ Halestorm
Apocalyptic ~ Halestorm
Expectations ~ Three Days Grace
Nothing’s Fair In Love and War ~ Three Days Grace
Master of Disaster ~ Seether
Careless Whisper ~ Seether
Plastic Man ~ Seether
Here’s to Us ~ Halestorm
Bad Girl’s World ~ Halestorm
Diamond Eyes ~ Shinedown
No More Love ~ Shinedown
Shatter Me ~ Lindsey Stirling
I Am The Fire ~ Halestorm
Fallen Angel ~ Three Days Grace
Never Too Late ~ Three Days Grace
Familiar Taste of Poison ~ Halestorm
Break In ~ Halestorm
What Were You Expecting ~ Halestorm
Beautiful With You ~ Halestorm
Anywhere But Here ~ SafetySuit
Scars ~ Papa Roach
Breath ~ Breaking Benjamin
