Текст книги "The Song Remains the Same"

Автор книги: Kelli Jean

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 28 страниц)

Kenna

It was one o’clock.

Phil was never late, and he never ignored my phone calls.

Where is he?

Lewis was here. He, Lili, and I put away the groceries, and he said that he and Phil had come back together, that he’d been heading back here when Lewis went to meet Lili.

I called again, and this time, I heard his special ringtone for me, “Kashmir,” right outside the open bus door. Relief washed through me, and I nearly tripped to get to him.

Except it wasn’t Phil.

Devon was holding Phil’s phone. By the look on his face, he wasn’t amused.

“Where’s Phil?” I asked, my voice hardly able to squeak out of my throat.

“That’s a good question, Doc.”

My heart…he felt sick. I felt nauseated as it dropped somewhere in my gut. The universe slipped off-kilter, tilting at a bizarre angle. I was in a parallel place where Technicolor could not be visualized.

“What’s going on?” I asked Devon quietly.

Devon held out Phil’s phone. “You’re the only one who has ‘Kashmir’ for a ringtone. What’s that all about?”

Snatching the phone from his hand, I glared. “Where is he?”

He pulled out his own phone, flipped it open, and pushed a few buttons before handing it over, too.

Brigid: Went to lunch with Phil. He lost his phone on the bus. Won’t be gone long. ;)

My heart simmered in my stomach acid. As I handed Devon his phone, I found it hard to look him in the eyes.

“If it’s any consolation, Doc, I don’t think you need to worry about your man. If I know Brigid, she probably harassed him into it.”

“He was in your bus, alone with her?”

The thought just seemed so incredible to me. Phil wouldn’t do that, not after the past few nights we’d spent together. To put me in this sort of situation, knowing how I felt about that woman—

Why would he want me to question my trust in him?

“And I’m sure she did that on purpose, too. I told her he was with you the night we all ran into each other, but Brigid doesn’t have much respect for boundaries unless she puts them up herself.”

I nodded, and he reached out to take my hand.

He squeezed it. “Will you talk to me now?”

My eyes narrowed, suspicion worming its way into my brain. “Is this another one of your setups?”

Devon shook his head. “No. I was with the band. I was supposed to take her out for burgers and shakes, but Jürgen called a meeting. No doubt, this is meant for me as much as it is for you.”

“Are you jealous then?”

“Maybe. And most definitely not in the way you’re thinking. Hungry?”

“Not really. Do you smoke?”

“I quit cigarettes a few years ago. Nasty habit, Doc. You should quit, too.”

I smiled. “I meant weed, dumbass.”

“Oh. Well then by all means, let’s get stoned.”

He made a step toward the bus, and I laughed.

“Uh, yeah…no. You’re not the most welcome person here, Devon. We’ll head for the clearing in the back.”

He nodded and stepped back. “I’ll just wait then.”

Turning, I took the few steps back up into the bus. There stood Lili, the look of fury on her face halting me in my tracks. Holding up my silver cigarette case, she slapped it in my hand.

“You make sure the whole fucking crew knows you’re hanging with Devon, you got me?” The tone in her voice brooked no argument.

My jaw dropped a little. “Come again?”

“Phil? Out with Brigid? Don’t you fucking get soft on me now, woman. I know you love him, but it’s on like fucking Donkey Kong. You got that?”

Impossible, but I found myself grinning.

“And you tell me everything that you two talk about,” she hissed before turning on her heel and flouncing back into the kitchen.

Pygmy always had my back.

Devon and I headed to the open grassy area that had a few picnic tables. Surrounded by trees, it was nicely concealed from the rest of the park and the prying eyes of the public. A security fence surrounded the area, too, keeping out unwanted paparazzi and crazed fans. Crew people were indeed crawling around all over, but it seemed as though we had gone unnoticed. We sat next to each other on the tabletop, our feet on the bench, and I popped a spliff between my lips and sparked it up.

“You know you have nothing to worry about with Phil, right?” Devon asked.

“Is that right?” Damn, I sounded bitter.

“Yes. And you know it, woman, so don’t even.”

“I don’t know about that. I know he cares about Brigid—”

“And he worships the ground you walk on. Any idiot with two brain cells knocking around in his head could see that. I have no doubt that she somehow manipulated him into it. As fierce as he appears, he really is a big ole softy.”

“I’m not interested in Phil right now, Devon.” That was a complete lie if I’d ever told one. “I want to know what happened, why it happened, and what the deal is with Camryn.”

“You said she was with Phil, right?”

“Yes. What he told me was that they had met on the last leg of the European tour last year and decided to be friends who would hook up when their venues crossed. He still considers her a good friend.”

“He shouldn’t. She’s here now. Did you know that?”

The look on my face must have shown my surprise. “She’s touring with you?”

He nodded. “A bit of a chameleon, that one. She’s our makeup artist, and she has been since the night she auditioned for Phil and me.”

“Yeah, I don’t get what you mean by that.”

“She’s the girl I smacked around and spit on while telling Phil that was what you deserved.”

That surprised the hell out of me.

“I find it odd that she had a relationship with him years later when she’s Jürgen’s favorite piece. How she got away with that…unless he told her to do it.”

“Why would he do that?”

“He hates Phil. I think he was terrified that Phil was going to take me away from the Cannibals, and I’ll be honest, I would have loved nothing more. But it’s more than that. Jürgen was the biggest, baddest asshole on the scene, and then Phil threatened that. Phil is bigger and better-looking, and his voice is just—”

“Phenomenal.” I sighed.

Devon grinned. “Yeah. You feel it, too, when he sings.”

“If he makes you feel the same way he makes me feel, Devon, you might want to question your sexuality.”

He busted out laughing. “Yeah, no, I can’t claim anything like that. But I understand that his voice has a certain power, and Jürgen hates that. His jealousy when it comes to Deveraux is unmatched. He’s furious that NOLA’s Junk is headlining. Considers it an insult since they used to open for us. He demanded that we take the top slot, but tickets didn’t sell for Cornered Cannibal. NOLA’s Junk did that.”

“Yes, they did,” I stated, my voice full of pride for Our Boys.

“Don’t say anything to anyone, but…this is the last tour I’m doing with them. I’m out. My contract ends at the end of August.”

“I won’t. It’s not my business to say anything—wait. Can I at least tell my two best friends?”

“Those girls you were sitting with at the House of Blues?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

He thought for a few beats before he nodded, too. “I guess they could be trusted, if you trust them.”

“What makes you say that?”

Shrugging, he replied, “I’ve become a decent judge of character over the years, Doc. I’ve had to. Phil would never just hand his heart over to anyone, and he handed that to you a long time ago. I wish I had understood that then.”

“What was the whole point of that situation?”

“Jürgen wanted to try out the new girl, and he always made us have them first. That way, he knew what he could get away with. He was considering Camryn for some stage work. If you’ve seen our old shows, you know what I’m talking about.”

I did. It was a lot like Alice Cooper, only more morbid. Cornered Cannibal would stage misogynistic beatdowns and murders, acts to incite the audience. Only after a girl had been gang-raped and beaten into a coma at one of their shows had they stopped those sort of stunts.

At least, they had on stage.

“Look, I don’t expect you to understand what it’s like with those guys. I don’t want you to. It’s not right—what I used to be a part of. Back then, I was young and stupid and coked up more often than not.”

“You believe the drug use had something to do with your behavior?”

“I know it was a big part of it. I felt like a god on that shit—invincible, sexy, ready to take on the world. It turned me into something a lot more like Jürgen, and it took meeting Phil for me to realize that. There’s a decency in Phil that not many people in this industry have. Even when we were…he couldn’t bring himself to truly degrade or hurt those women even though that was what we were paying them for.”

Devon turned inward, carefully thinking about what he wanted to say next. I took the time to take a few hits off the joint.

With a heavy sigh, he continued, “I drew the lot that night to break in the new girl, and Jürgen wanted her to fucking perform for it. He told her what he was looking for and that he’d hire her for the stage job if she could convince Phil. He knew Phil and I liked to find girls together. I had no idea how much he hated Phil back then.

“So, yeah, the girl was Camryn. She had red hair back then, wore a lot of makeup. She’s really good at changing up her appearance. She switches looks with Jürgen’s moods. He appreciates that sort of thing.”

“So, Phil had no idea what was happening—”

“Fake blood, and she was so good. She stored Chiclets—you know, the gum?—in her cheeks. Brilliant performance really. Even I was impressed. I got into it, you know? So much so, I dragged you into it, thinking I’d kill two birds with one stone.”

“Why would you think that would kill it for him?”

“I had no idea. I was thinking stupid shit. I thought if he could just get you out of his system, then maybe he’d be happier. He was never truly happy, Kenna. I cared enough about him to want to change that. I just went about it all wrong.

“In the end, Jürgen was delighted, Camryn was hired, and Phil was out of the picture. Maybe Jürgen had hoped for that all along, but I think he really wanted to take Phil so far over the edge that he’d self-destruct. So, perhaps it was a good thing our friendship blew up when it had.”

Passing the spliff over, I couldn’t really understand the bit of fucked up that was Jürgen Wilhelmsen.

So what if something bigger and better came along?

The music differences between the two bands were such that it really shouldn’t matter. Some die-hard Cornered Cannibal fans out there thought NOLA’s Junk was shit. The guys didn’t care about that. They weren’t in a competition.

“What’s on your mind?” Devon asked.

“How did Phil not realize it was Camryn?”

He shrugged. “Like I said, she’s a chameleon. What’s this shit about me raping and beating her?”

“In Finland. You all were staying in the same hotel—”

“We had a few shows together there, yeah.”

“And Phil had been seeing her since the tour took them to Great Britain, I think.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. NOLA’s opened for us then in London. Mostly club circuits.”

“Well, he told me that, in Finland, she wound up going back to your room with you, that you had told her there was a party or something going on, that he was there already. She went with you and discovered no party, but you beat her up and raped her. She ended up banging on Phil and X’s door, claiming all of this, and delivered the message that she was his debt paid for taking away your toy the last time.”

Devon looked ill. “That’s fucking bullshit.”

“That’s why he really refuses to speak to you. He told me that, after everything, he never realized that you were capable of something like that.”

“I get it now. I know who’s behind that fucking stunt, too. Jürgen knew I wanted to tell Phil that it wasn’t real, that I wanted my friend back. And he knew I was clean and growing a pair big enough to leave the band.”

“Why haven’t you before now?”

“Because…Jürgen’s very persuasive.”

“He doesn’t know you plan on leaving?”

Devon shook his head. “I’ve given him the impression that it might all work out if I can have my own bus and stay away from the rest of the shit.”

“I understand. I can hold off on telling my friends.”

He smiled, and right then, I sort of wished I could feel something more than friendship for him. It’d serve Phil right, going out with his disgustingly beautiful ex for lunch, leaving his phone in Devon’s bus. He had been in there with her, just the two of them…

No, I don’t think I’m ready to forgive him for this. This hurts more than I’d like to admit, even to myself.

“So…what’s the deal with Brigid?” I asked, an acidic taste forming in my mouth from just mentioning her name.

“Have you seen her? She’s here to look pretty for me. I got to have something to do. Having a wank in a sock gets old after a while.”

“Ugh!” I laughed. “I could have gone the rest of my life…shit, I’ll never look at a sock the same way again.”

“Glad to have been the man who ruined them for you.”

Just then, I was struck with an epiphany. “My fucking brother…I wondered why his socks were so dried up and crusty when we did laundry. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Devon started to lose it with belly-rumbling deep laughter.

“I’m guessing you didn’t know Brigid was Phil’s ex?”

Still laughing, Devon shook his head. “No clue.” Wiping a stray tear from his eye, he sobered up a little. “She told me afterward that they went together years ago. Just my fucking luck, too. He and I always had the same taste in women. Apparently, it didn’t end too nicely for her.”

“No, that’s my understanding.”

“My guess is, it was because of you.”

“That’s what I was told,” I replied, sounding as though perhaps I no longer believed it.

“Hey, if there’s anything I do know about Phil, it’s that you are everything he has ever wanted from this life. So what if he went to lunch with Brigid? It doesn’t mean anything. He used to tell me that you were it for him and that, once he found you again, he was going to grab ahold of you and never let go.”

“Where did you meet her?”

“Amsterdam. A couple of years ago. We like to hook up now and then. Nothing serious. She likes a free ride, and I like kinky sex. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Nope.”

He wagged a finger at me. “Ah…I see that secret little smile you got. You like the kinky, too. Being with Phil, I guess you’d have to.”

“Actually…I think it’s more me than him,” I stated, feeling myself go red.

Devon lost it once more, and I couldn’t help but laugh with him. It felt easy and natural to be with Devon.

Phil had fucked up a lot in his free time, and he had been able to turn over a new leaf. He’d made the decision to turn his life around, and by the sound of it, Devon had come to the same conclusion. He deserved the benefit of the doubt just as much as Phil had.

“Can I ask you for a favor?” he asked.

“That depends.”

“I need to confront Jürgen about this Camryn shit before Phil knows. Could you maybe not mention it and give me a chance to find a way to tell Phil myself?”

“No worries. I don’t plan on speaking to Phil for a while anyway.”

“Aw, don’t be too hard on him. He’d go mental if you weren’t around. I can promise you, he’d never touch another woman. The way he looks at you…”

“He could have come and found me. Even if he lost his phone, he should have let me know. I was waiting to give him a treatment, one that he’d asked for specifically.”

“Oh, well, by all means, ignore the Ragin’ Cajun.”

I snickered at the nickname, and Devon laughed at the sound. Soon, we were cracking up.

That was how Phil found us. His enormous self emerged from the front of our tour bus, and the look on his face made Devon stop mid laugh.

“Don’t let him break my face, Doc,” Devon whispered as Phil thundered his way over to us. “I saw what happened to Jason—”

“Phil!”

To all of our surprise, Sheri came barreling out behind him, and he slowed enough for her to get around him to face him where—

Crack!

She slapped the almighty out of his face.

My jaw dropped.

Devon gasped, “Oh, shit!”

“You fucking stupid piece of shit!” screeched Sheri. “Brigid? Seriously? You went to fucking lunch with that cow?”

“Oh my God…” I whispered.

“I guess I’m not looking so bad now since my main squeeze is a source of great irritation around here,” said Devon.

“Calm down, Sher.” Phil’s deep voice spread out like a balm.

“The fuck I will! Did you ever stop to think how this looks? The fucking calls I’ve been getting about you and Devon having a long-standing fight over a girl is back, and it’s stating Brigid is the one between you two!”

“She’s not.”

“I know that!” she screamed. “But did you at all consider your fucking fiancée before you traipsed into town for a cozy bite to eat with your ex and Devon’s current affair? Pictures of the two of you are circulating the Internet, and journalists are calling all over the place, wanting to interview anyone and everyone who knows what’s up with you, Devon, and Brigid!”

“So? Nothing happened, Sheri. We had burgers.”

“Fuck you, Phil! How do you think Kenna’s going to like hearing about this?”

He looked over at me, staring hard, and Sheri followed his line of vision. The woman’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, a wealth of pity in them.

“Oh, honey…” she said, taking a step toward me.

Now, I just wanted to cry.

“In my mind, I’m giving you a hug, Doc,” Devon whispered.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. On legs that suddenly felt shaky, I made my way over to them. Phil’s eyes gave me no clue as to what he was thinking. I dug his phone out of my pocket and held it up for him. Slowly, he reached out, and I placed it in his hand, making sure not to let our skin come into contact.

“You forgot your appointment with me at one o’clock,” I said softly, pitching my voice low to control the sobs threatening to explode out of me.

Phil closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. When he opened them again, I saw my own pain staring back at me.

“You left that in Devon’s bus.”

“Baby Girl—”

I shook my head. “Hope your lunch was worth it.”

“I’m heading into the festival,” I announced as I got on the bus.

Lili and Alys jumped to their feet and grabbed their bags, and the three of us ran off the bus in record time.

“Kenna!”

It was hard not to laugh when all three of us flipped that voice the bird without a backward glance as we picked up the pace. Big boot steps thundered the pavement, and Phil careened around us. We merely parted and walked around him.

“Baby Girl, fuckin’ stop for a fuckin’ minute!”

The hell I would.

“Kenna!” he barked. “This ain’t funny!”

I spun around and whacked him hard over his chest tattoo. “No! It ain’t! Now, fuck off!”

He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips before I could yank it out of his grip.

Lili ran up, kicked him in the shin, and danced out of reach.

“Ow! Shit, Pygmy—”

“Fuck you, douche face!” she yelled at him.

“Douche face?” he echoed, bending over and rubbing his shin. “Kenna, you know nothin’ happened! It was fuckin’ burgers and me tellin’ her how I am fuckin’ in love with you—”

“I don’t give a shit!” I hissed. “It has wrong smeared all over it! I’m done talking to you,” I snapped, turning on my heel.

Phil grabbed my arm. “Kenna, seriously—”

I spun back around.

Crack!

My palm connected to the already blazing cheek from Sheri’s earlier slap.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ!” he bellowed, cupping his hand to his face.

Phil’s eyes bulged with the pain, and I got a healthy dose of satisfaction out of it. His grip on me loosened, and I stomped away.

“Try it again, and I’ll sic Alys on you, douche face!” I called over my shoulder.

Lili’s tinkling laughter warmed my heart, and the three of us made our way into the fairgrounds. Once through security, I switched off the volume on my phone after seeing I already had three missed texts from Douche Face—I’d changed the name in the phone to that, too—but I refused to look at them.

“What should we do then?” asked Alys.

“Alcohol. I say, we park it, get wasted, and watch some fucking sets.”

Three expensive mega beers later, we found a grassy little spot and pulled out a spliff. Well secured within groups of other pot smokers, we blended in and relaxed, tucking our backstage passes beneath our shirts.

I told my girls everything.

“I knew it!” stated Lili after I’d spilled the beans on Camryn. “I knew there was something off about that woman.”

Alys looked repulsed. “Why though? What did she have to gain from something like that?”

“Who knows? Apparently, Jürgen is the biggest douche face of all douche faces.”

“Why does Devon put up with that shit?” asked Lili.

I shrugged, keeping his secret safe for now.

“What are you going to do about Phil?” Alys asked quietly.

“I have no fucking clue. I’m so pissed at him right now. I mean, if I had gone out to lunch with Brian and left my phone behind, he’d go fucking apoplectic. And I’m not the only one he pissed off! Get this!”

I told them how Sheri had charged him, slapped the shit out of him, and yelled at him.

“So, now, I get to see photos of them plastered in Metalhead News or some such shit! I mean, the guy who put four carats on my finger actually went out with his ex!” I fumed. “No. He can’t get away free and easy with this. I think I might explode if he tries to touch me again. Fuck.”

We spent the whole day drinking, smoking, eating the fast food provided, moving around to see the bands playing. It was like what we normally would have done if we were simply attending Twisted Festivus.

X rang Alys, and she walked away to take the call. We could see her arguing with her man, and she returned to us looking thunderous.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“He wanted me to come back, and I said no. I think he’s really mad at Phil now.”

Inwardly, I groaned. Sneaking my own phone out, I saw seventeen missed calls and twenty-three text messages.

“Damn it,” I grumped. I quickly read the most recent one.

Douche Face: Please answer the phone. I love you. I need to know you are okay.

Snapping the phone shut, I stowed it in my back pocket and watched Yellow Canon Blitz—who fucking comes up with these band names?—put on a hell of a show.

Hours later, Cornered Cannibal were minutes away from taking the stage. Lili returned with three more beers, and we busted out another spliff.

Devon ended up coming out with no makeup, his glorious beauty blazing for the world to see. We were far enough away from the stage that it should’ve been hard to tell, but he was shining with something more than his usual talent. He looked freer, almost at peace.

He performed a solo that lasted nine minutes and put Budokan to shame. I wasn’t the only one weeping for him. The whole place exploded when he finished. Glancing at my two best friends, I saw their eyes shimmering, too.

Wow, Lili mouthed at me when our eyes met.

Too fucking right.

For the first time in a while, the three of us got to see Our Boys just like everyone else saw them. Buzzing with beer, we cried out all the words to every song they played.

In the end, we had a surprise coming. Connor pulled out a violin, a few roadies strapped on instruments, and they ended the show with “Kashmir.”

Phil sang it to rival Devon’s solo.

I was beyond touched…yet not quite touched enough.

When Alys, Lili, and me finally arrived back at the bus, most of the other bands, including Cornered Cannibal, had headed out for the next venue.

Phil was leaning against the bus, arms folded across his chest. When he spotted us through the darkness, his body relaxed. Freshly showered, dressed in sweatpants and an old T-shirt, he looked good enough to eat.

“Kenna—” He stopped when he saw the look in Lili’s eyes. “Don’t fuckin’ think about it, Pygmy. I’ll fuckin’ toss your ass back to Colombia.”

Lili stomped onto the bus, and Alys followed, glaring furiously at him. He glared right back.

But when he turned to face me once more, his eyes softened. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

“I am. Really sorry. I should’ve told you, and I had every intention of doin’ so. I went to call you, and my phone was missin’. It ain’t right. I know. I should’ve found you and let you know—”

“You never should have even considered going,” I spit.

“I told her I didn’t want to. I swear to fuckin’ God. But she guilt-tripped me into it. I tore her a new one over the shit she said to you—”

“So what? You still went. Now, I’m a fucking joke to the whole world. ‘Baby Girl put out to pasture as gorgeous European flame returns, fueling the ever-lasting feud between Deveraux and GianFranco.’ Pfft! No, thank you. God, when my father gets wind of it—”

“He ain’t gonna believe it! He knows what we have between us, which is more than what I can say for you at the moment!”

“Seriously? I know what we had, Phil. It was amazing. You wrecked it by being guilt-tripped by that woman. What if she wanted to fuck you for old times’ sake? Would she have guilt-tripped the pants off of you?”

His face flushed, and my jaw dropped.

“Holy shit! Did she proposition you?”

He glared at me but nodded curtly. “Somethin’ like that.”

“Even after you telling her you were so in love with me?”

“I am so in love with you, Kenna. Quit talkin’ like it’s past tense.”

Shrugging, I made my way toward the steps, but he moved to block me.

“Why are you talkin’ in past tense?” he asked quietly, a hint of panic in his voice. “We ain’t over. We ain’t ever gonna be over.”

“My trust in you is at an all-time low. You put our relationship in that situation, not me.”

“Can you honestly fuckin’ believe that I’d sneak around behind your back?”

“You did!”

“I didn’t fuckin’ touch her! And when she suggested that I should, I fuckin’ laughed in her face! You are the last woman I’ll ever be with. You’re the only one who gets to touch me, kiss me, hold me—”

I held up my hand, not willing to be assaulted with those sort of intimate images. I wasn’t ready to let him off the hook for what he’d done.

“I’m tired. I’m filthy. I’m not talking about this anymore tonight. I’m too angry, and I just need to cool off and think. I’m done, Phil. Okay?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched with irritation, but he backed down. “Okay.”

The atmosphere on the bus was no better. Frigid and quiet, it was nothing like it usually was after a show. Jason and Sheri sat, watching TV, having a few beers. Lili and Lewis were huddled together, talking in hushed tones. Connor must have already retreated to his foxhole. Thoughts of crusty socks filled my head, and mentally, I gagged. Flipper and Viv were nowhere to be seen, but I heard some grunting behind their locked foxhole.

I headed straight to The Attic for my pajamas and then back down to the bathroom where I took a cold shower. The ladder up to Phil and my space creaked, and I knew he had gone to bed, so he’d be waiting there for me.

He’d be waiting there all night.

Instead of making my way up, I climbed into the foxhole above Connor’s, getting a startled look from Jason for my efforts.

As quietly as I could, I slid the door shut and locked it. The bus fired up, and a few minutes later, I could feel the sway as we headed out onto the road. The rocking soon lulled me to sleep.

Sometime later, the sound of my foxhole panel being punched in awoke me and startled a hair-raising scream out of me. Lock busted, Phil slammed it open, a look of absolute fury upon his gorgeous face.

“What the fuck?”

“Fuck, Phil! Was that fucking necessary?” I shouted.

“Too fuckin’ right it was necessary!” he shouted back.

“Shut the fuck up!” X yelled from a few bunks over.

Phil shoved a finger in my face. “Knock this shit off, Kenna. Get your shit and come to bed—”

“I am in bed!” I hissed.

With his chest heaving, his eyes looked bright in the dimmed corridor light. “Please. Will you come to our bed now? You’ve made your point.”

“Apparently, I haven’t. If you actually think—”

“Seriously.” Connor’s voice emerged from his foxhole below as he slid his panel back. “Some of us are trying to sleep here. Can this shit wait until the morning?”

“No, it can’t,” hissed Phil.

“Dude, you fucked up. Let her have some space, okay?”

“Fuck you!” shouted Phil, looking down, incredulous.

“No, man! Fuck you! Did you honestly think she’d take you going out with your ex well? I know you ain’t stupid, so why you actually thought she’d roll over and take this is beyond any of us.”

Flicking at the broken lock, I wiggled the panel, finding it still worked. “Good night, Phil,” I said firmly, pulling it into its shut position.

Phil slammed it open again.

Connor punched him in the nuts, and Phil dropped like a wet sack. Down the corridor, Lili’s evil laughter filled the space. Peeking out, I saw her dark head duck back into her and Lewis’s foxhole.

Phil moaned. “You…bastard.” Cupping his groin, he rolled onto his back as he tried to catch his breath.

“Good night, Phil,” I repeated before sliding the panel shut.

Sleep was a bitch. Nothing felt right, and when I finally made the decision to get up, I was miserable. I wanted to crawl into Phil’s lap and let him hold me. We’d always been able to talk shit out, and we’d always had complete faith and trust in one another. I wanted to feel like that with him again.

By the look on his haggard face as I walked into the living room area, he felt the same, too. My guess was that sleep had completely eluded him, considering those dark circles beneath his eyes.

He bleakly looked at me. “Can we talk now?” His voice sounded rusted.

Nodding, I took the seat on the opposite end of the couch.

“You know nothing happened, right?”

“I guess—”

“You guess?” He sounded so incredulous that I had to look at him.

“What do you want me to say, Phil? You blew me off to have lunch with your ex. Why would you do that to me?”

“It wasn’t like I set out to hurt you. You can’t honestly believe that. She fuckin’ ambushed me, and I saw the opportunity to make amends for dumpin’ her the way I had while also lettin’ her know that I didn’t like the shit she had said about you.”

“Yeah? Did she apologize?”

He contemplated that for a minute. “You know, I don’t think she actually did. She made up some excuses. Damn.”

“So, what did you two talk about then?” I wasn’t really bothered that she hadn’t apologized. Her opinion of me didn’t hold water in any case.

“Well, I know I talked about you. I told her how we met and that you were the love of my life. She said somethin’ along the lines of me not rememberin’ what it was like between her and me and that maybe all I needed was a reminder. I told her that I never planned on bein’ with her for very long because I was in love with you then, too…”