Текст книги "Collision"
Автор книги: K. A. Sterritt
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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
Chapter Ten
Juliette
“You can do this,” I chanted to myself, blocking out the fact that my ultimate fighting fantasy, Leo, was walking away after looking at me like a crazy person. I’d felt his eyes burning into the side of my face, but when I glanced at him, a sudden rush of anger overwhelmed me. What the hell was he doing working for my mother? What kind of horrible twist of fate was that? I wanted him gone. I didn’t want him to exist in this world.
Despite the party being outside¸ I felt walls closing in around me as I stepped onto the lawn. Richard was at my side immediately with a fake smile plastered across his face.
“Sorry again for being late,” I offered. “I know how much all this means to you.” My hand did a general sweep of the party and my sarcastic tone would’ve been hard to miss for anyone other than Richard.
“It should mean a lot to you too, Juliette. These are very important people in our lives, and we have to behave properly. Turning up late with dirt on your dress is not behaving properly.”
I looked down at my dress and saw there were in fact a few specks of brown across my chest. It must have been from when I was looking in the windows at the farm house. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Why is that funny? We have standards to uphold.”
“You know I don’t enjoy these stuck-up affairs, but I’m here for my mother, Richard.” He turned into someone I didn’t even like at these functions, and he was being worse than usual. He was really pissing me off.
My mother appeared next to Richard, glaring at my chest. “For goodness’ sake. Are you a child? How on earth did you manage to sully your dress already?”
“It’s barely noticeable, Mother. I’m sure no one else will notice. And if they do, they shouldn’t be looking at my breasts.” I laughed, but it quickly turned awkward. They both looked dumbfounded. I glanced over and caught Leo’s eye. His smile took my breath away.
Richard followed my gaze. “I don’t want to see you talking to the bartender. We don’t fraternise with the staff.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about Leo, Richard. He’s a professional,” my mother assured him. “He is very handsome with all those big muscles and those piercing blue eyes…” She cut her sentence short, her cheeks enflamed.
“You don’t have to worry about Leo?” I repeated, outraged by her lack of faith in me and disturbed by her obvious ogling. “Are you saying you have to worry about me?” Yes, I found Leo outrageously hot, intriguing and unlike any man I’d ever known, but that didn’t change my situation. The few guilty pleasures I indulged in were harmless as long as they remained a secret. My relationship with my mother, whilst strained much of the time, was better than no relationship at all. I would never jeopardise that for some silly attraction and was deeply hurt that she though I might.
My mother drove the knife in further. “You’re weak, Juliette. Always have been. It’s my fault for sending Leo to look for you.” She turned to Richard. “My apologies.”
My mind flashed, imagining my hands gripping her pearl necklace and tightening it around her neck to cut off her air supply. I would watch her eyes bugging out of her head as she struggled to get a single word out. I wondered how weak she’d find me then. A matricidal scenario was an unwelcome new twist to my dark thoughts.
“It’s absolutely fine, Isabel. I put Leo in his place. He won’t be bothering Juliette again.”
The only way I could deal with Richard’s arrogant lie was with an imagined knee jab to his crotch, whilst the pearl necklace noose tightened around my mother’s neck.
“Good. Now make sure you greet the guests, Juliette.” She waved her long, manicured fingers between Richard and me. “Everyone’s been asking when you two will be tying the knot.” She turned and disappeared, no doubt smiling triumphantly, believing she had worked in another hint.
I cringed but tried to suppress it. I glanced at Richard, who was nodding his head and smiling.
Before we had a chance to start the torturous mingling routine, Leo’s gravelly voice made my whole body thrum. “Champagne?”
I closed my eyes, remembering his naked torso slick with sweat after his three fight wins, his presence commanding absolute attention from his riveted audience. Seeing him standing in the dark parking lot had given me the fright of my life. Not because I was afraid of his intimidating frame but because I didn’t want my worlds colliding.
“Thank you.” I took the glass and drained half of it without meeting his eyes.
“Dick?”
The gulp of champagne I had just taken spluttered out of my mouth and dribbled down my chin. Leo was holding his tray out for Richard. A chuckle I had battled to restrain bubbled out of my mouth as I tried to dry my chin with the back of my hand.
Richard was seething. “What did you just call me?”
“I see your glass is nearly empty. Would you like another?”
With Richard distracted for a few seconds, trying to work out if he’d heard correctly, I took the opportunity to study Leo’s face more closely. He wasn’t smiling, but the ice I’d seen in his blue eyes the night before had thawed, leaving a two-toned effect I wanted to drown in. They reminded me of the ocean’s changing depths. High cheekbones and a strong jawline befitted a man who radiated strength, vitality and dominance. Bronzed skin suggested a life spent outdoors. I wished I weren’t so interested in knowing more about him.
“No, I don’t want another,” Richard replied. “Please leave. I’m talking to my girlfriend here and you’re interrupting.”
Leo shook his head, and his mouth turned up slightly at the corners. He was amused. As he walked away, I couldn’t help wishing I could just be ‘amused’ by Richard, instead of battling committing my life to his more and more every day.
An hour of polite chit-chat ensued, and I was ready to shoot myself when I made my excuses to use the restroom. Richard caught my arm as I left.
“Don’t be long,” he warned. “I’m doing my speech in fifteen minutes and you need to be there.”
Gently tugging my arm away, I returned his tight smile with a fake one of my own. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
I made my way inside and looked around for the restrooms. The inside of the homestead was stunning with high vaulted ceilings. Eclectic lounges and wingback chairs were grouped together around coffee tables and ottomans. The upholstery patterns should have clashed but didn’t for some reason. The mixture of modern and classical pieces should have been disastrous, but they blended perfectly. My eyes were drawn upwards and became mesmerised by the chandeliers hanging on long chains. They each held five large white candles with crystal beading looping between them. They were magnificent.
“I was just admiring those earlier.”
Leo.
Talking to him was dangerous, and I had to repel his strong magnetic pull.
“I’m looking for the restrooms.”
He studied me for a few seconds before answering. “Just past the staircase. Second on your left.” He gestured behind me, briefly touching my arm.
My left arm whipped over to my right, protectively covering the place he had just touched.
“Thank you.” I turned and quickly followed his directions.
I turned the lock on the bathroom door and exhaled. I switched the lights off and closed my eyes, allowing absolute darkness to descend. I focused on my breathing and willed my thoughts to find some order. Darkness had always been my friend, and with the absence of light, it wrapped me in a blanket. Ironically, it made my world a little bit brighter.
Richard gave his speech. When he thanked his receptive audience, I hoped he wouldn’t ask me any questions. I hadn’t listened to a single word. I couldn’t even remember what the topic was. I had just stared at him and wondered how different my life could have been. Tears pricked my eyes. My mother depended on me. These unwelcome thoughts brought a fresh wave of guilt I’d spent so many years navigating. When Richard stepped down from the podium, I glanced at my mother beaming with pride. She adored him, and when he wasn’t being a pompous dickhead, I liked him enough to give her that.
I steeled myself. I owed it to my mother to be the woman she needed me to be, whatever the cost.
“You were amazing,” I gushed. “Really interesting and informative.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie.
Far more relaxed post speech, he leant forward and kissed me. “Thanks, babe.”
A few hours later and the party started to wind up. My mother stood up and gave a heartfelt speech about the important work her foundation was doing and how much she appreciated the ongoing support of her guests. She dedicated herself to charity work, and it would be selfish of me to begrudge it. If it weren’t for the distraction it gave her, she would have nothing else to focus on other than making me a society princess.
Guests were informed of their accommodation arrangements and soon, they had all retired to their various villas.
“Well, I’m about ready to turn in. We’re staying in the main homestead in a king suite. Shall we?” Richard asked, holding out his hand.
“I’ll meet you in the room in a little while.”
“Juliette,” he said, looking skyward before his eyes met mine. “Is there something going on with you? I know we don’t spend enough time together, but that will come down the track. I’m working hard now for our future, and all these people are a part of my success. Plus, you know how much these events mean to your mother, and I would’ve thought you’d show a little more interest.”
Ouch. The emotional blows were never far away from any conversation with both Richard and my mother.
Defeated and tired, I gave in as usual. “I’m sorry.” I cupped his face with my right hand and placed my left hand on his waist. “Work’s been really busy lately and I’ve been a little distracted.”
“You’re a secretary, Juliette.” He looked down at me with pity in his eyes. “You’re not saving the world.”
I knew I wasn’t saving the world, but neither was he. I hated the way he put down my job at any opportunity.
“How about we go to our room now and worry about the future tomorrow?” I was such a coward.
He didn’t say anything further, but he nodded his head and smiled briefly.
As we walked back up the steps and along the veranda to the homestead entrance, I felt eyes watching me. I glanced to my right, and my breath hitched when I saw Leo. He was helping pack up but had stopped when we walked by. I tried to smile, but it felt awkward and contrived. Lust was not in the stars for me, and the sooner I forgot about him the better. His icy stare was back, so I quickly turned away.
Up in our room, Richard took the first shower while I brushed my teeth and laid out my cotton pyjama set on the bed. It was a beautiful room, tastefully decorated primarily in white with muted grey accents. It was clean, fresh and minimalist. The fit-out was modern and sleek but managed to be warm and comfortable at the same time. I stripped my clothes off onto the bathroom floor and stepped past him into the hot water. He didn’t give me a second glance, and right then I found that deeply depressing. The bigger issue was that I suddenly wanted to be slammed up against the tiles in a rush of passion, just not by him.
When I finished up in the shower, I got dressed and climbed in bed. Richard smiled at me and turned the bedside lamp off. I lay stiffly with my arms clamped to my sides.
“Do you want to?” Richard whispered.
“Do you?” I whispered back.
“It’s been a long day. Do you mind if we just go to sleep?”
Part of me was relieved, but the rest of me felt rejected and lonely. The battle to stay present in this relationship was growing harder and harder. Sex had never been our strong suit, but a physical connection, however weak, made you feel like you weren’t just part-time flatmates.
“Goodnight, Richard.”
“Goodnight, Juliette.”
When he started snoring lightly less than a minute later, I allowed my mind to fill up with images of a certain fighter come bartender. Every fibre of my being wanted to know him more intimately. Locked away in the safety of my tormented mind, in a moonlit room in the Yarra Valley surrounded by grapevines showing first signs of new life, it felt like I cheated on Richard for the first time. When I touched myself, I imagined it was Leo’s hands on my body. When I brought myself to climax, I imagined it was Leo deep inside me. When a small groan escaped my lips, I imagined Leo’s mouth muffling the sound with his passionate kiss. It was the most erotic experience I’d ever had, and when it was over, my shame and my loneliness found new depths.
I woke up in the morning completely alone. I had no idea where Richard was, and I didn’t care. I just didn’t care. I felt exhausted and depressed by my darkening thoughts. A long shower helped to wash away my fatigue, and I dressed and packed up quickly. I looked around the homestead half-heartedly for either my mother or Richard but gave up, quietly relieved. They were probably having breakfast together, discussing the success of the event and his riveting speech. I rolled my eyes in their honour.
Chapter Eleven
Leo
I woke up the next morning in Bea and Angus’s spare room, still thinking about Juliette. Why couldn’t I get that crazy, complicated woman out of my fucking head?
When the function had wrapped up, she and Dick were the last to leave. She’d shivered when our eyes met. If she was cold, the arsehole hadn’t given her his coat. Or perhaps I had an effect on her too. Either way, she’d been about to go to bed with Dick, a man she appeared to barely tolerate. I didn’t know her and for all I knew, she was happy with him. He clearly had money and social standing, and perhaps she wanted the lifestyle that went hand in hand in these circles. Perhaps I’d read her all wrong. To me, she was like a wild animal pacing her cage, looking for a weak place to break free. With a thousand warring thoughts rushing through my mind, I’d given her nothing. No smile. No wave. Nothing. And then she was gone.
I needed to clear my mind and run, so I got dressed then slipped out the side door and took off. My legs carried me faster and faster, dulling my brain until the burning sensations were all I had to focus on. I headed uphill to the Anglican Church, built in the early 1900s. There was a narrow dirt track that ran along the church boundary and the cemetery behind. I didn’t look sideways, instead focusing on the road ahead.
When I reached the old wooden bridge crossing the upper Yarra River, I slowed down to a walk. The sun was warm, but I hadn’t run far enough to break a sweat. I couldn’t wipe Juliette from my mind. Images of her in black flicked through my mind as quickly as ones of her in white lace. It wasn’t just her changing appearance that had confused me. At fight night, she’d looked like she might take on the world, and last night she’d looked like she had the weight of the world on her slender shoulders. Shaking my head, I took off again, determined to replace confusion with exhaustion.
The path back to Bea’s would take me past my old family home. As I got closer, I was shocked to see a red Mini parked on the grass verge. It was the exact type of car Juliette had driven. A cold dread settled over me when I noticed the front gate, hanging from one hinge, had been pushed open. I walked tentatively down the path and made a full perimeter of the house, glancing with increased anxiety around the overgrown garden.
“Hello,” I called out when I got back to the front door. No answer. “Hello,” I repeated, louder this time. Nothing.
Baxter, the neighbour’s cat, slinked his way out of the house, alerting me to the slightly ajar front door. I stood at the opening and called out into the house. As I pushed gently, the door swung the rest of the way open, and I stood on the threshold of my childhood home. It all felt so wrong, and I was pretty sure at that point I would never be ready to face these demons. What was once the centre of my world was now a place I couldn’t bear.
I stood at the door and reached down to pat the cat that had started to wind himself around my legs, purring. I pushed the door open. Surely no one would go inside uninvited.
“Help.” I thought that’s what I heard coming from inside the house somewhere.
“Hello,” I managed to call out when I had composed myself a little. “Where are you?”
“Help.” The voice was a little louder and sounded increasingly distressed.
“Shit, shit, shit.” I ran my hands through my hair and sucked in some air, forcing it into my lungs. “I’m coming,” I shouted, trying to push away my own fears. “Where are you?”
A muffled female voice carried down from above. “In here.”
“That’s not helpful,” I muttered to myself, taking the stairs two at a time. I tried not to look around too much for fear of some kind of panic attack. I would just find her then get her the hell out of my house.
“Call out again,” I instructed so I could follow her voice.
“I’m really sorry. I’m trespassing again. I mean… shit. I just wanted to see inside this beautiful house and now I’m stuck in one of the bedrooms. A gust of wind must have blown the door closed and the door wouldn’t open from the inside and—”
I opened the door and walked into my old bedroom. Her rambling stopped mid-sentence and, for the third time in as many days, my heart stopped too. The sheer impossibility of the situation made me question my own sanity again. The fact she wasn’t speaking made me wonder if she was a conjured-up illusion of my messed-up brain. Was my mind playing tricks on me?
“What are you doing? You shouldn’t be in here.”
“I wasn’t going to steal anything” she said, gesturing around the sparsely furnished room. “It’s not like there’s anything much to take.” She visibly cringed at her own words. “I didn’t think anyone lived here and the door was open. I’m really sorry.”
“I’ll need you to get out,” I said through gritted teeth. I could feel the panic level rising.
She nodded, shrugging her shoulders the way she had when Richard reprimanded her. It made me feel like shit.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I shouldn’t have made a joke about stealing when I’m trespassing on your property. I’m just a bit shaken up about being locked in a room in someone else’s house that I shouldn’t have been in in the first place and then you appear. Again. I mean, who the fuck are you? Are you following me or something? Are you a crazy stalker?” She shook her head and shuffled from one foot to the other. “Sorry about cursing. I don’t usually curse. Well, not out loud, anyway.”
Her apology that had turned into an attack then back into an apology threw me off guard, and the ridiculousness of her accusations blew the tension out of the room. “Seriously? You show up to my fight. Then you show up at the function I was working at. Then you show up at my house. And you think I’m the stalker?” I could hear my own voice softening.
“Okay. I guess you’re not a stalker,” she conceded with the hint of a smile.
“Thank you. That’s big of you to admit.” Our eyes locked and we stared at each other with such intensity, I couldn’t look away.
“Right. Well, I’ll get out of your hair, then.” She shook her head then started walking towards the door. When she passed, I grabbed her slender arm. A shock of electricity hit me, and I snapped my eyes back to hers, where I saw what I imagined she was seeing in mine—dangerous lust.
“Wait,” I spoke in barely more than a whisper. Realising I was still holding her arm, I dropped it and took a step back. I didn’t want her to leave just yet. “I’m sorry I told you to get out.”
“Why?” She looked confused. “You had every right.”
“It’s not you. I wanted to see you again.” I paused, unsure how to explain it. “I don’t live here anymore. I haven’t been in here in five years.” I wanted her out because no one that beautiful belonged somewhere haunted by so much ugliness. But I didn’t want her to leave right away. “I could show you the garden.” It sounded lame, but I was clutching at straws.
A smile lit up her entire face, brightening her beautiful eyes “I love gardening. Apartment living doesn’t call for it much, but yours is incredible.”
I was in trouble. My desire to kiss her was overwhelming and completely ridiculous. Juliette was definitely spoken for, and that in itself was an absolute deal breaker. Despite that fact, there was something about her that gave me a deep sense of calm.
