Текст книги "Collision"
Автор книги: K. A. Sterritt
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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
Chapter Forty-One
Juliette
Ignoring Leo’s constant calls, my sadness turned to anger and my anger turned to rage. I told the guys at the front desk not to let him up to my apartment. Years of suppressing my real feelings had taken its toll. I’d become an expert at rationalising other’s behaviour and compromising my own. I was a dangerous wreck of swirling hatred, bubbling up from the depths of my stomach. My only saving grace was knowing my debut fight was a matter of days away. If I had any compassion left in me, I might’ve felt sorry for my opponent, walking around somewhere, ignorant to the fact hell was going to be unleashed on her come Saturday.
“I don’t think you’re ready, Jules,” Zac stated firmly at the end of my Thursday training session.
“What?” My gloved hands dropped to my side, completely deflated. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.” I felt my eyes glaze over and I swallowed hard, refusing to give in to the threatening tears.
“See that,” he said, pointing at my eyes. “You’re too emotional. You won’t be able to focus properly.”
“I’m doing this, Zac,” I whispered as he helped me remove my gloves. “With or without you, I’m doing this.”
“Well, you have forty-eight hours to get your head in the right place. I know you’ve been through a lot lately, and you have every right to be a bit fucked up right now, but that will cost you in the ring. Eye of the Tiger, remember?”
“I’ll be fine. Trust me.”
“Okay, Jules. Rest up and do some of the meditation techniques I showed you.”
I rolled my eyes. Despite being a seasoned fighter, dolphin music and crashing waves could be the soundtrack to Zac’s life.
Walking back to my apartment, I felt like the weight of the world was back on my shoulders. I missed Leo. I hated that I missed him so much. It was impossible to just switch off my feelings for him when they were so genuine. I’d really fallen hard for him and he’d discarded me like yesterday’s news. It hurt like a bitch. Just when I had summoned the courage to defy my mother and break up with Richard, their affair had been slammed in my face. Leo’s love had helped me survive that massive blow. The full weight of that betrayal had not really been given a chance to infiltrate my heart, because I’d been enveloped in Leo’s. It had felt like I’d found my soul mate, and being so wrong was a hard pill to swallow.
My phone started ringing and his face appeared on my screen. It was a photo I’d taken at the farm when he was chopping wood. I’d called out to him and he’d turned around, run his hands through his hair and smiled. I’d captured a candid shot of him looking hotter than he’d ever looked before. My heart ached as I stared at the screen.
“Hello,” I whispered. I nearly didn’t answer the call, but I’d become too desperate to hear his gravelly voice again. I was too greedy for the way his voice spoke directly to the depths of who I was.
“Juliette,” Leo said on an exhale. “Thank God.”
“What do you want, Leo?” I closed my eyes, absorbing the way my body shivered.
“I want to talk to you. Fuck. I want so many things, Jules. Why have you ignored all my calls?”
“You don’t want me. You made that clear when you accepted money to stay away from me.” A wave of nausea hit me, and I had to sit down on the footpath, my back against the brick wall of a shopfront.
“Stop,” he demanded. “It’s complicated. Please don’t give up on us. I just needed time.”
“There’s nothing complicated here. You said you loved me. I said it back and meant it. You made me feel like you meant it too. Then the next day, you dumped me. Later, I see a text message you sent my mum, accepting her disgusting offer. Pretty black and white, Leo.”
I could hear him groan, and it sounded like something had broken in the background.
“Fuuuck. I didn’t take any money. I swear to you.”
Taken aback, I paused, trying to process what he’d just said. “But I saw the text.”
“Firstly, I thought it was Dick making the threats to your life. He’s a money-driven arsehole, so I had to at least consider the threat wasn’t idle.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s what I wanted to talk to you about at the café and then all week. You’ve been ignoring my calls and wouldn’t see me.” He paused, and I tried to reconcile what he was saying. “I was offered money to stay away from you or risk your safety.”
A few lonely tears fell from my eyes. What an epic clusterfuck. “It was my mother who made the offer, not Dick.”
“I get that now. I just needed time to sort it out and didn’t want you endangered in the meantime. I agreed to stay away from you in return for your assured safety. That was the offer I accepted.”
I ran my hand through my sweaty hair and closed my eyes. I was a disaster area of colliding emotions and I couldn’t breathe properly. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions, Leo, but you should’ve told me immediately what was going on instead of shutting down the way you did,” I whispered. “I’m leaving for Europe with Sia in a week. I just need some space from everything that’s happened the last few months. I just need…” I felt the tears threatening and struggled to get any more words out.
“What do you need, Juliette?” Leo’s voice sounded as broken as mine.
“I need to forget.” I sobbed the words out, allowing the tears to flow freely down my cheeks.
“You need to forget about me.” It was a statement rather than a question.
“I don’t think I could forget about you even if I wanted to, Leo.” I sniffed, wiping my arm across my eyes. “I just need to take a break for a while and just try to forget about my life here. The last few months have been…” I looked to the sky, unable to finish my sentence.
“How long will you be gone?”
“Six weeks.”
I could hear him sigh. “You deserve this. You deserve to spread your wings.” He paused, and I thought for a second he’d hung up. “This is for the best, but please, can we talk in person when you get home? I love you.”
Hearing those words again from him was both confusing and wonderful.
“Okay,” I managed to sob out.
“Take care of yourself, Juliette.”
His words managed to jolt me from my self-destructive path. I had been a caged bird, held captive by people I loved, was meant to love or who were meant to love me. I was always waiting for the magic moments, but now I had my whole life ahead of me, and the cage door was wide open. My mother wouldn’t be telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I had no boyfriend belittling me or using me for his own agenda. Even Leo, the man I loved, had broken my fragile heart even if he didn’t mean to.
Friendship had come to have real meaning, and I was slowly finding out who I really was. I wasn’t going to be anyone’s punching bag, because I was worth more than that.
I still cried myself to sleep that night, like I’d done every night that week, but it felt more therapeutic than the previous nights. I woke up determined and focused.
***
When I arrived at the Lightning Fight Centre on Saturday evening, I was itching to punch something or someone. I was riddled with nervous energy, and I had no idea if I could channel it properly in the ring. Zac greeted me inside and escorted me to the weigh-in area where I met my opponent, Christina Lee. Her trainer hovered over the scales as my weight was recorded. Zac did the same for Christina to ensure she was a legitimate lightweight. It was all very serious and intimidating, but I kept my shoulders back and my expression neutral.
“You’ll be in the red corner,” one of the officials stated, as he handed me a red singlet emblazoned with the promoter’s logo before turning to Christina and handing one to her. “You’re blue.”
“Thanks.” I walked back to my locker, where Zac was studying his clipboard.
“How are you feeling, Jules?” He looked up when I sat down on the bench next to him.
“I’m nervous but ready. Just want to get it over and done with, really.” Butterflies weren’t just in my stomach. They had taken over my whole body, and it was hard to sit still. “I’ll be back in a sec.”
I jumped up and walked to the door that led into the large main room where the crowd was assembling. Poking my head through the door, I gasped. I had already heard the hard rock music from the back room, but once the door was open, it was much louder. The Guns N’ Roses song, Welcome to the Jungle, pulsed out of the speakers. In the middle of the room was the raised boxing ring, surrounded by tables set up for the judges, officials and VIPs. Punters were flooding in through the main entrance to my left, raising the noise level with every passing minute.
I couldn’t see them, but Juniper and Sia had insisted on coming when Zac had told them about it, and I wondered if they were there yet. It would be good to have a few friendly faces in the audience for my first fight, and I was grateful for their support. Apparently it’s different when you’re in the ring, and nothing can prepare you for how you’ll react.
Knowing I would be called soon, I made my way back to Zac, who was now standing, and a relieved expression replaced his furrowed brow when he saw me.
“You’re on in fifteen minutes. Let’s start warming up.”
I glanced over at Christina who was busy admiring her reflection in a hand mirror, and I felt some of my butterflies disappear. Vanity has no place in the ring.
“Don’t get too complacent, Jules,” Zac said when he saw what I was looking at. “She may look like a show pony, but she has more experience than you in the ring.
“I don’t care what experience she’s had,” I stated. “I’m going to smash her.”
After my warm-up, Zac stood in front of me and held both my upper arms, looking me dead in the eye. “Sweat more in peace. Bleed less in war.”
I looked at him quizzically, a fine trickle of sweat dripping down the side of my face.
“That’s an old boxing mantra.” Zac’s soothing voice calmed more of my nerves. “You’ve put in the hard work, Jules, and now it’s your time to fight for glory.”
“Juliette Salinger. You’re up,” the official announced. Then he moved over to my opponent, Christina Lee, and I watched her nod as she bounced around, warming up. She’d thrown a few glares my way, but they bounced off me like ping-pongs.
Zac put my red hooded gown over my shoulders and ushered me towards the door. I was glad I’d taken a look earlier so I wasn’t so awestruck by the room, even though it was now full and a lot noisier. We made a beeline for the ring as the MC announced us to the sound of loud applause. I climbed into the ring and moved to my corner. I was glad to have Zac with me for last-minute advice based on what he’d seen of Christina’s warm-up.
“You’ve got this, Jules,” he stated firmly as he pushed my mouthguard into place. “You’ve got three rounds of three minutes each. Make every second count.”
I nodded and moved away from him, turning to face my opponent. I cast my gaze quickly around the audience, immediately spotting my friends. It was hard to miss Sia jumping up and down like a yo-yo, calling out in an over excited tone, “That’s my friend up there.” Sitting down next to her was Juniper, Jason and Aspen. Wow. I had a lot of support. I scanned the rest of the audience, unable to shake the strange feeling making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I could feel Leo’s presence, even though I couldn’t see him. It was probably just nervous tension.
I bounced on the spot, my head protector firmly in place and my hands securely covered in black Everlast gloves held up in front of me. My mouthguard was uncomfortable, and I jostled it around in my mouth, trying to get used to its presence.
It was time to focus. It was time to be in the moment and find my magic.
Unlike martial arts, boxing does appear simple, with just the punches, but there’s far more to it than that. Unlike kickboxing, where you can kick opponents from a distance and keep them at bay to slow the fight down and get a breather, and Muay Thai, where you can gain a breather by locking your opponent in a grapple, boxing affords you no break. You can’t hold, so you can only keep the opponent at arm’s length. Effectively, they can always punch you. This will mean the work rate is exceptionally high, as you need to keep exchanging blows to keep ahead on the score cards.
I knew my punches were far from perfect. Zac had done his best to train me, but I had an inner strength and a steely resolve to harness adrenaline rather than be crippled by it. I’d been tapping into it for years, and I was banking on that being my ultimate weapon.
I stared in the eyes of my opponent and, in that moment, I could see all her demons. My eyes were speaking to her and I knew she understood. “I’m going to win. I’m going to own this fight and I’m going to own you.” Her eyes faltered and I thought I had her.
I thought wrong.
The three minutes between the buzzer announcing the start and finish were a blur. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to describe a single thing that happened.
When I stumbled back to my corner, Zac was waiting for me. He took out my mouthguard, wiped my face with a towel and gave me a mouthful of water, holding out a bucket for me to spit in. “You need to slow down, Juliette. You rushed all your punches and you’re not being effective. You’re just trying to smash her without thinking.”
I nodded my head, barely able to form a single cohesive thought. What if I can’t channel my adrenaline? What if I fail? What if she really hurts me? A flurry of negative thoughts entered my psyche, and I felt my confidence seeping out of my sweaty pores. When I’d seen all of Christina’s demons, I guess she’d seen mine too.
The second round wasn’t much better. If anything, it was worse.
“You totally gassed out on nervous energy, Jules,” Zac chided, looking me straight in the eyes. “Fortunately, Christina did too, so I reckon you’re probably about even on points. Tell me what Christina’s strongest punch is.”
I tried to replay some of the last two rounds in my head. “She has a strong left hook.”
“Exactly. Be ready for it and move to your left.”
This night was not going to plan. I was supposed to come in and claim victory for myself, annihilating the opposition. Nothing was further from the truth.
I closed my eyes and allowed the noise in the room to disappear. I needed to find something deep inside me and take it into the next round.
The tattoos on Leo’s back popped into my head and resonated in me with such force my eyes snapped open. When I’d asked him about them, he was evasive about when and where he’d had them done, but explained with such passion about Buddhist philosophies and finding strength from within.
“What is it, Jules?” Zac asked. “You look like you’ve just had a breakthrough.”
“I think I’m ready now, Zac.” I felt an inner calm I realised I’d been lacking to that point.
“You’re no quitter, Jules. Go out there and own this. Remember. Cowards never start, the weak never finish and winners never quit. Stay off the ropes and work off the jab.”
Fuck it, I thought to myself. I’m really going to give it a crack. I’m no coward, I’m no quitter and I’m going to use that strength I know is within me.
Chapter Forty-Two
Leo
She wouldn’t see me. She wouldn’t know I was there. No one could know I was there. Her life might have depended on it, but it felt like mine depended on seeing her again.
Her first two rounds had been hard to watch. I hoped her trainer was telling her to slow down and stop expending so much nervous energy. I wanted to be in the audience supporting her then taking her home afterwards, but I had to accept that wasn’t going to happen tonight.
A hard slap to my back startled me. “Leo Ashlar? I’ll be damned.”
Standing next to me was Nick, my childhood boxing coach. I came to this gym three nights a week after school for years until my desire to get into medicine meant devoting every night to studying.
“Nick. Long time, no see. How’s things, mate?” I asked, shaking his hand.
“Good. Good. What brings you back out this way? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
I nodded. “Sorry, mate.” I should’ve stayed in better touch. I’d approached him at the funeral and asked him to hook me up with a trainer in the city. He gave me a number that I called the very next day. “I’ve been busy.”
“Hey, mate. You weren’t in good shape at the funeral. I was real sorry about your parents. Nasty business that.”
“Thanks. Appreciate it.”
“So word on the street tells me you’re making waves in the illegal scene.”
It didn’t surprise me that he knew. The fighting community was close knit, and everyone knew everyone else’s business.
“It helps.”
“I get that, mate. I do. Just be careful. I don’t want to read about you in a coma in the hospital.” His hand slapped my shoulder and I appreciated his support. “If you ever need anything, you know where I am. Okay?”
I nodded just as the buzzer sounded for Juliette’s final round, and both our heads turned towards the ring.
“Blondie up there. She’s new. Man, if I was your age. Wow.” Nick was laughing and I knew he was joking, but my stomach turned just the same.
“Steady on, old man.” I attempted to match his jovial tone.
We half chatted and half watched the start of the fight. Something had changed in Juliette and she moved like a lioness, stalking her prey. Our chatting ceased as we both watched, riveted. Her opponent knew she was the gazelle, trying not to stumble, and the scene that played out was poetry in motion. She had the perfect blend of power, grace and a steely resolve, obvious to everyone in the room. Christina had a strong left hook, and finally, Juliette was moving deftly in response.
This was the real Juliette—strong and beautiful, inside and out. This was the Juliette that shone when she allowed her inner self to explode instead of allowing others to push her down.
Juliette dominated every sequence and was declared victorious to the shouts and cheers of the appreciative crowd.
Her whole body glistened with sweat. She’d never looked sexier than she did in that moment, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I knew she’d seen me when her whole body stiffened and her eyes changed from wide and happy to slits. She was narrowing her vision, clearly unsure if it was actually me. I had to get out of there. I gave her a half smile, trying to convey my congratulations, and then I turned towards the back door.
“Bye, Nick,” I said hurriedly. “I’ll come back soon.”
“Good luck, mate.”
I pushed the fire door open with more strength than needed, keen to make my escape. It burst open and I exhaled with the cloak of darkness. I pulled my leather jacket on as I made my way over to my bike.
As I pulled my helmet over my head, I glanced back at the door, half hoping and half dreading that Juliette would appear. I revved the throttle and counted to three in my head. She wasn’t coming. Of course she wasn’t coming. I was meant to stay away from her, so it was better that way.
Who the fuck was I kidding? It wasn’t better. It was fucking unbearable.
With one more glance back, I sped off, full of rage—an emotion I was very familiar with. I was going to sort this shit out. Then I was going to win her back.
Chapter Forty-Three
Juliette
Seven weeks later
I’d only flown in the night before, so I was exhausted when I pulled into the gravel parking area in front of the Dartmoor Wellness Centre. Despite my jetlag, I was happy. My experience overseas had been incredible and I felt like a new person. With every day that had passed, my horizons broadened and my instinct to run from situations I feared lessened.
I was so busy staring through the front windshield at the imposing white brick building that I hadn’t noticed the black Jeep pull up.
I got out and walked towards the steps leading to the entry, lost in thought. I can do this.
The automatic doors opened, and I walked through to a surprisingly welcoming reception area. Perhaps I’d been expecting padded rooms and straitjackets. Pistachio-coloured walls, indoor plants and calming music made it feel more like a health retreat.
A young woman with far too much makeup on greeted me with indifference at the reception desk. She appeared pained to have to look up from her magazine.
“Welcome to Dartmoor.” She spoke in a bored monotone. “How can I help you?”
“I’m here to see my mother. Isabel Fontaine.”
“Sign in here.” She shoved a form in front of me without looking at me.
“Do you have a pen?”
She huffed out a breath as if I was seriously inconveniencing her. A biro was thrust on top of the form and she looked at me with a ‘there better not be anything else’ glare.
“Thank you.” I gave her an extra-cheery smile to hopefully annoy her.
When I had signed and dated, she told me to wait while she found out where my mother was.
I made my way over to the cream lounges and took a seat. The coffee table was covered in a variety of brochures and flyers as well as a few token books on landscapes. There was a distinct lack of trashy magazines. I picked up the book with a collage of lakes and mountains across the front cover.
I closed my eyes and opened the book to a random page. “Queenstown, New Zealand,” I said out loud.
“Juliette?”
Leo’s gravelly voice startled me, and I snapped my eyes open, dropping the book at the same time. It tumbled to the floor and hit my foot. I scrunched up my face in pain. It was a bloody heavy book.
“Leo.” I picked up the book from the floor and replaced it on the coffee table. I closed my eyes and steeled myself against my body’s natural attraction to him. When I opened them, I realised it hadn’t helped. He was wearing faded, ripped jeans and a white t-shirt, showcasing his incredible body. If anything, he looked like he was more muscular than the last time I’d seen him. A light stubble on his face beckoned for my touch. He looked incredible, and it was physically painful to keep my distance.
“You look really good, Juliette. How are you?”
“What are you doing here?” I croaked, barely able to put words together.
“Your mother called and said she wanted to see me about something important. I thought it might be about you, but I didn’t realise you’d be here.” A genuine smile lit up his handsome face.
I pulled myself ungracefully to my feet and stood before him, staring into his beautiful, soulful eyes. I had missed this man every second I’d been away, but I’d grown up too. I was stronger and ready to trust him with my heart again. Gingerly, I reached my hand up and gently cupped his face. I closed my eyes and sighed when he leaned into it slightly.
“Fuck it.” Leo grabbed me and the next thing I knew I’d been scooped up into his arms and his lips crashed against mine. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back in a frenzied daze of pent-up lust and emotion. With our foreheads touching, he whispered against my lips, “I missed you so damn much.”
A loud sound of a throat being cleared ended our reunion.
“Sorry to interrupt,” the suddenly very friendly receptionist said, directly to Leo.
Leo put me down but kept hold of my hand as we awaited further instructions.
“Mrs Fontaine is in the garden,” she continued, a blush rising across her cheeks. “She’s been expecting both of you.” She ogled Leo like she was starving and he was a juicy steak. “Go through those doors and Jackson will escort you.”
“Thank you,” I said sarcastically, knowing she had forgotten I was even there.
Jackson led us through multiple sets of doors, some of which required him to use his security pass to gain entry. My eyes darted around trying to take in everything, but I struggled to focus on anything with Leo next to me. I hadn’t seen him or my mother in two months, but I’d at least been able to mentally prepare myself to see my mother.
A large wooden door with a security glass panel opened to a paved courtyard where a few tables and chairs were being used for chess games and reading. Some of the residents looked up and smiled while others just ignored our intrusion. I paused briefly.
“I’m here, Jules.” Leo’s voice was gentle and reassuring. His physical strength matched the emotional fortitude I wanted but no longer needed.
“I’m fine.” I meant it.
“I know.” I looked into his eyes and saw only tenderness. “It’s really good to see you.”
My body yearned for his touch and I squeezed my eyes shut, enjoying the feel of my hand in his—skin against skin.
A gentle slope of beautifully tended gardens, dotted with fruit trees, led to a small lake. In the middle of the lake was a small island covered in long grasses and a few small trees. If I were there for any other reason, I would’ve enjoyed the idyllic scenery.
“She’s having some lunch with another resident just beyond the orange grove.” Jackson pointed towards an orchard. “I’ll be in the courtyard when you’re ready to leave.”
“Thank you,” we both said in unison.
My feet felt heavy and I couldn’t bring myself to move. I looked to the sky and watched a few clouds drift slowly in the warm, gentle breeze.
“Come on.” Leo tugged gently on my hand. “Let’s get this over with and then we have a lot of catching up to do.”
I couldn’t help inhaling deeply as we walked towards the orchard. The citrus scent was overwhelming.
Beyond the orchard, I could see two women sitting on a pair of Adirondack chairs, facing the lake with their backs to us. They both turned as we approached and stood to greet us.
Leo stopped dead. I didn’t recognise the slender brunette woman standing by my mum’s side. To me, she seemed friendly, helpful even as she kept a protective hold of my mum’s arm. Tension rolled off Leo’s body in tidal waves, and my hand felt like it was in a death grip. I glanced at him to see what was wrong and followed his gaze to the stranger. He looked panicked, and a sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead.
“What’s wrong?” I murmured from the corner of my mouth. “Who is she?”
“Darling.” My mother surged forward. “Thank you for coming.”
She hugged me, and I was forced out of Leo’s grasp. I returned her embrace half-heartedly, still concerned by the crackling tension in the air.
“Who’s your friend, Mum?” I whispered, pulling out of the awkward, lukewarm hug.
Leo’s next two words answered my question.
“Hello, Mother.”
To be continued in the next book in the series, releasing 2016.
