Текст книги "Tainted"

Автор книги: K. A. Robinson

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 11 страниц)

5

The next few weeks passed by in a blur. We spent most of our time in the studio, recording tracks for the album. Brad seemed satisfied with how fast we were moving, but everyone else’s mood was less than happy. The band kept track of me constantly. It was as if they were waiting for me to pass out again. After that one afternoon, I didn’t have any more dizzy spells. I always made sure to eat something every morning just in case that was what had caused me to pass out.

The thought of Chloe with someone else was constantly on my mind. I started using more, and I was almost out. I snuck out one night and found a dealer in one of the clubs located in a bad part of L.A. It wasn’t hard. While L.A. was an amazing city, there were tons of ghetto areas to choose from.

I tried to keep my addiction under control, but I knew the band was well aware of what I was doing. They tried to talk to me about it occasionally, but I always shut them down before we started fighting. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to stop, and I wasn’t sure if I could. I debated on calling Chloe on more than one occasion, but I stopped myself. She’d probably just hang up on me, and that would make me feel worse.

Brad’s voice pulled me away from my thoughts, and I tried to focus on what he was saying.

“You guys did great today. Your single is ready, and I plan on releasing it sometime next week.”

We’d spent the entire day working on the album, and I was beat. It was good to know the single would be released soon. At least we weren’t doing all of this for nothing. While I knew how much work went into our music, I had no idea how hard it would be to record it professionally. Some days, we would work on just one song, doing it over and over again, until I was sick of it.

“That’s awesome! I can’t wait to hear us on the radio!” Jade said as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet.

“Why don’t you guys take the rest of the night off? I think we got what we need for today, and you all could use a night to yourselves. Go out and enjoy L.A. nightlife. Pretty soon, you won’t be able to without being attacked by fans,” Brad said with a smile.

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week,” Adam said before yawning.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning,” Brad said.

We told him good-bye and left to enjoy the rest of the night.

* * *

After a quick stop at our hotel to shower and change, we took a taxi to West Hollywood where most of the popular clubs were located. We had to stand in line for almost an hour, but we finally managed to get inside one of them. Jade led us to a table in the back, and we all settled in as a waitress appeared to take our orders. I ordered a shot called a cement mixer. I’d heard of it, but I’d never tried it. All I knew was that it was supposed to be strong, and tonight, I needed something strong since Chloe had been on my mind the entire fucking day.

Eric raised an eyebrow at me, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he ordered his beer and sat there with a smirk.

When the waitress returned with our drinks, I laughed when she gave a cute little pink drink to Jade.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing. I just find it funny that you ordered something girlie instead of your usual beer.”

“Oh, shut up and drink your cement.” She sipped her drink.

I rolled my eyes as I picked up and then downed my shot. I winced as the taste hit me. It wasn’t the best thing I’d ever tasted, but I only cared about the effect. I motioned for the waitress and asked her to bring me another one. Jade and Eric were talking among themselves, and Adam was watching some of the girls on the dance floor.

“I think I need to get laid. It’s been too long,” Adam said as he sat his beer down and stood up.

I grinned as I watched him maneuver through the swaying bodies. He made his way over to his target—some poor girl sitting at the bar. The girl seemed to like what she saw, and she quickly followed him to the dance floor. Leave it to Adam to score on the first try.

The waitress appeared with my shot, and I downed it quickly. I had snorted a few extra lines before we left, and I was already feeling relaxed. Add some strong alcohol to my system, and I’d be set for the night. I usually had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, but after a few minutes, I started to feel the beginning of what was sure to be an excellent buzz. Another drink later, and I was set.

I looked up when a pretty blonde in a short red dress approached our table.

She gave me a coy smile as she leaned down. “I’m Carrie. Want to dance?” she whispered in my ear.

She had the same hair color and a name that started with a C. It was as close to Chloe as I was going to get tonight, so I nodded. I followed her to the dance floor and pulled her tight against me as she started to move to the music. My eyes closed as I felt her ass rubbing against my dick. It had been so long since I’d even thought about sex, and this girl was doing everything right.

I spun her around until she was facing me, and I pulled her tight against me. I let my hands roam until they were cupping her ass. Reaching between us, she grabbed my dick through my pants and moaned. Yeah, this girl knew exactly what she was doing. I was hard as a rock as she moved her hand up and down.

“Want to get out of here?” she asked.

“Fuck yeah.” I leaned down and kissed her.

She took my hand and led me through the crowd and out a back door. She obviously knew her way around this place. Instead of walking toward the street to hail a taxi, she led me farther down the dark alley. Warning bells might have gone off if everything wasn’t so fuzzy in my head. In the dim lighting, she looked just like Chloe. By the time she pushed me up against the wall, I was convinced that she was Chloe.

She unzipped my pants and pushed them down, before sticking her hand inside. When she started stroking me, I moaned.

“God, Chloe. That feels so good.”

“I’m not Chloe. I’m Carrie,” she said in an irritated voice.

“Mmhmm,” I said.

She went to unbutton my shirt. When I felt her tongue flick against one of my nipples, I nearly came in my pants. It had been so long since we’d been together.

“I love you, Chloe, so much.”

I almost whimpered when she pulled away.

“I’m not Chloe. I’m Carrie.”

I heard what she said, but her words weren’t making sense to me. All I wanted was to bury myself deep inside her.

“Lift your dress, Chloe. I want to bury myself inside you.”

“You fucking asshole! I’m not Chloe. I suggest you go find her because you’re not getting laid by me since you can’t even remember my name.” She stomped off.

I was left standing in a dark alley with my pants undone and halfway down my legs as I watched her walk away. The fuzziness was getting worse, and I cursed myself for drinking so fast. I wanted to get drunk. I did not want to puke my guts up near some trash.

I fumbled with my pants until I finally pulled them up and fastened them. As I started walking back toward the club, three figures appeared by the door I’d come through earlier. Even drunk, I instantly went on alert as I realized that I was alone and trashed in a damn alley.

“Drake?” a familiar voice asked.

“Jade?”

“We couldn’t find you anywhere! Why are you out here?” she asked as they approached me.

“I followed Chloe out here, but she got pissed and left me alone.”

“You followed Chloe?” Jade asked in a hesitant voice.

“Yeah, but she left me.”

“Did you, uh…did you and Chloe do anything?” she asked.

“No, I told you that she left.”

“Oh, thank God. I thought…well, never mind, it doesn’t matter. Let’s get you back to the hotel, okay?”

I nodded as Eric threw his arm around me to guide me back toward the street. It took both him and Adam to get me into the back of a taxi. I barely realized where I was before they were hauling me out of the taxi and into one of the hotel elevators.

They had some trouble getting me into my room since I had no idea where my key card was. After Jade searched every pocket I had, she finally found it and unlocked the door. They dragged me inside and threw me down onto the bed.

I groaned as I opened my eyes. I could see someone standing over me. “Chloe?”

“No, it’s Jade. You’re drunk, so get some sleep.”

“Chloe, I’m so sorry. I miss you so much. I just want you back. Will you come back to me?”

“He’s fucking wasted,” Adam said.

“Chloe…” I murmured as I rolled onto my side.

“I can’t stand to see him hurting like this. Maybe we should call her,” Jade said.

“That won’t help anyone. All it will do is freak her out, and you said she’s worried as it is. If she knew how bad he was, she’d lose her mind,” Eric said.

“Maybe if she saw how much he needed her, she’d come out here to help him,” Jade said.

“She won’t, and I don’t blame her. She’s dealt with this kind of thing her entire life. She doesn’t deserve to be thrown back into it. Let him sleep it off, and we’ll try to get through to him in the morning, not that I think it will do any good,” Eric said.

After that, I heard nothing. I felt myself drifting in and out of consciousness for a while until the urge to use the bathroom hit me. I stumbled out of bed and all but crawled to the bathroom. When I was finished, I crawled back to the bed and sat down. I felt like shit, and I needed something to help. I looked out the window and noticed that the sun was already starting to rise. I’d have to be up soon anyway, so I definitely needed a pick-me-up.

I opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out my mirror and bag of cocaine. I knew I’d never make it to the living room, so I laid the mirror down on the bed and dumped the coke out. I tried to make lines the best I could, but I could barely see straight. In a can of soda on the nightstand, I saw a straw, so I grabbed it and used it instead of trying to roll a bill.

When I finished snorting the lines, I threw everything back into the drawer. I glanced at the bag. That was funny. I thought I had more coke than that this morning, but the bag was now empty. I shrugged and then slammed the drawer shut. I draped my body over the bed as I felt it take over.

I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, Jade was standing over me, shaking me, as she screamed at me. I groaned once before I started vomiting.

* * *

“He’s stable. We’ve got his fever down, and we’ve cleared out his lungs. It’s a good thing you found him when you did, or he would have suffocated.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“I think so, but we won’t know for sure until he wakes up. How long has he been using cocaine?”

“I’m not sure. A couple of months, I think.”

“I definitely suggest getting him into some kind of rehabilitation program. The amount of cocaine in his system was astronomical, and if he mixed it with the amount of alcohol you said he drank last night…well, let’s just say that he’s lucky to be alive.”

“We’ve told him he needs to get help, but he refuses to listen to us. I don’t know what to do.”

“This isn’t going to be easy, but you need to try and convince him when he wakes up. I can keep him here for a few days while his body detoxes, but that’s it. Maybe once he detoxes, he will see reason.”

“Thank you for everything. I’ll try again, but I don’t know if he will listen.”

I tried to open my eyes to see who was speaking, but I couldn’t. On top of that, my entire body felt like a ton of bricks was weighing it down. I finally gave up as unconsciousness took over.

* * *

“Any change?”

“He still isn’t awake. It’s been almost twenty-four hours, Eric. Why isn’t he waking up?”

“Don’t cry, Jade. Just give him some time.”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared, and I don’t think I can take any more.”

“I know. I talked to Brad. He’s willing to work with us, but either Drake gets clean, or we’re done. Brad said the label would even pay for Drake’s treatment if we can get him to go.”

“What if he won’t? He’s refused every time we’ve tried.”

“If he won’t, then it’s time to walk away. I love him, but I can’t keep watching him go through this.”

“Jade,” I whispered.

“Oh my God! He just said my name.”

I heard footsteps approach, but I was out before I had the chance to speak again.

* * *

“His eyelids fluttered! Did you see that?”

“I saw it. Hopefully, he’ll fully wake up this time.”

My body felt like it was on fire. I had no idea where I was. I could hear Adam and Jade’s voices. I peeled open my eyes to see them standing above me.

Jade’s face broke into a grin as she watched me. “Adam, get Eric and the nurse! He’s awake. Drake, can you hear me?”

“Jade?” My throat was burning, and saying her name made me feel like I’d swallowed a sword.

“Yes, it’s me. Don’t try to talk, okay? Just rest. I’m so glad you’re awake. I was so scared.”

“Where—” I broke out into a coughing fit that made me want to scream in pain.

“Shh…you’re in the hospital. The nurse will explain everything. Just relax.”

She took my hand as Adam entered the room with Eric and a young woman following behind him.

“Hey, buddy. It’s good to see you awake,” Eric said as he approached my bed.

“Good evening, Mr. Allen. I’m Clarissa, your night nurse.”

“Water,” I managed to croak out.

“Yes, of course.” She walked to a nearby table and poured water into a small cup.

When she returned to my bedside, she placed a straw into my mouth, and I started drinking.

“Go slow, or you’ll choke,” she reprimanded me.

I tried to take smaller sips. When my throat didn’t feel like it was on fire, I released the straw, and she set the cup on the table beside me.

“Do you know where you are?” she asked.

I nodded. “Hospital.”

“That’s right. Do you know why you’re here?”

I shook my head. The last thing I remembered was Eric and Adam hauling my drunk ass back to my hotel room.

“You overdosed on cocaine, Mr. Allen. If it wasn’t for your friend Jade, you’d be dead right now.”

My eyes widened, but I said nothing. How could I have overdosed? I was always careful about how much I used each time. Unless…unless I used while I was drinking. I wanted to smack myself right about now. How could I have been so stupid?

“I’m going to page your doctor. He should be here in just a few minutes.”

My eyes moved to Jade as the nurse left. Even though Jade was trying her hardest to hold back her tears, they were slowly sliding down her cheeks.

“Don’t…cry,” I croaked out. I cursed mentally at my inability to talk. How the hell was I supposed to make things better for her when I couldn’t even speak?

“I can’t help it. You’ve been unconscious for over twenty-four hours, and I thought we’d lost you. This has to stop, Drake. I can’t take any more.”

“So sorry,” I whispered.

“I know you are, but that doesn’t change anything. You need help. I just hope you can see that now.”

I tried to respond, but the doctor decided to walk into the room at that moment.

“Good evening, Mr. Allen. I’m Dr. Brooks, and I’ve been overseeing your treatment since you were admitted the other morning.”

I nodded, not wanting to cause myself any more pain than I had to.

“By now, I’m sure you know you’re here because you overdosed on cocaine. I can’t stress enough how serious your overdose was. Between the amount of cocaine found in your system and the alcohol you ingested, you are lucky to be alive. If your friends hadn’t found you and acted as quickly as they did, you wouldn’t be here. You owe them a debt of gratitude.”

“How long?” I managed to get out.

“How long have you been here?” he asked.

I nodded. My sense of time was completely screwed-up, and I couldn’t even begin to figure out what day it was.

“You were checked in almost two days ago. Your symptoms were vomiting, rapid heart rate, fever, and convulsions. After your friends told me that you were an addict, we were able to treat you quickly enough to prevent any long-term effects.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Mr. Allen. I sincerely hope that this will serve as a much needed wake-up call. You should not mess around with cocaine, and you obviously need help. I want to keep you here for a few more days just to make sure you have no other issues. I suggest you take this time to consider your treatment options. Now that you’re conscious, you will feel the withdrawal side effects from not using cocaine for a couple of days. Our staff can help you deal with them as you detox. After that, I suggest you check yourself into a rehabilitation center.”

Before waking up in the hospital like this, I would have refused. I wasn’t so sure now. I always felt like I had everything under control, but that was obviously a huge misconception on my part.

“I’ll leave you alone with your friends now. I’m sure they have a lot they’d like to say to you.”

He exchanged a look with my band mates before he left. They had obviously had discussions about me while I was unconscious.

Eric approached my bed and sat down in the chair beside me. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

He smiled at me, but there was no humor in his eyes. “I would assume so. You scared the shit out of us, Drake. We thought you were dead.”

“Sorry.”

“We know you are, but like Jade said, it doesn’t change anything. We’ve been talking about your situation, and Brad has also put in his two cents. Here’s the deal—either you get help, or our contract with the label is gone. As much as I hate to do it, you will no longer be a part of the band. We’re not doing this because we’re assholes. We’re doing it because we care.”

This was it. I was going to lose everything. I’d already lost Chloe, and now, I was losing my friends and my career, too.

Jade grabbed my hand and held it in hers. “Don’t try to talk right now. Just think about it. We can’t force you to get help, but we’re asking as your friends and your band members. I love you, but I can’t stand to watch you self-destruct any longer.”

“I’m with them. You’re not our Drake anymore,” Adam added as he sat down in the chair across the room from us. “I’m not going to get all mushy and tell you how much I love you, but you know you’re like a brother to me. You need help, bro.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“Good. We’ll leave you alone to think about things while we go grab some dinner. We’ll be back soon, okay?” Jade said.

I nodded, and they walked out of the room. When I was finally alone, everything hit me at once. In the last few months, I’d destroyed every relationship that I cared about. I’d pushed Chloe away first and then the band. Besides my uncle, they were the only family I had. I wasn’t ready to give them up, but I wasn’t sure I could stop using either. If I couldn’t, I’d lose everything. Surely, that would be enough motivation to keep me going, wouldn’t it? I wasn’t ready to face my demons, but I had to try.

As I lay there, fighting with myself, the nurse walked into the room with a tray.

“I brought you some soup. I’m sure your throat is raw from the breathing tube we had to put in during the first few hours you were here, but this should help.” She set the tray on a cart and pulled it over to me.

I felt like an invalid as she helped me sit up. My hands were shaking as I picked up my spoon and dipped it into the soup in front of me. I cursed to myself when I dropped the spoon and had to start over. My muscles felt weak, and I wasn’t sure I could even bring the spoon up to my mouth. After a few tries, I finally managed it. The soup hurt like hell as it went down, but I kept eating anyway. The nurse had to help me after a while, and I wanted to scream. I couldn’t even lift a damn spoon. I’d really fucked myself up this time.

“Don’t get discouraged. Your body is starting the withdrawal process, so shaking and muscle weakness is normal. It’s going to be rough for the next few days, but if you can make it through, you will be just fine.”

I nodded as she continued to spoon-feed me.

“I know it seems impossible right now, but you can beat this, Mr. Allen. Your friends have told me all about you, and it sounds like you are a strong-willed individual. You can do this.” She picked up the tray with the now empty bowl on it.

I wasn’t sure why she was giving me a pep talk, but I appreciated it.

* * *

Jade and the guys came back a couple of hours later. I gave them a weak smile as they sat down around me.

“Hey,” I said in a clear voice. The soup had really helped my throat. At least it didn’t feel like I’d eaten a sword when I talked now.

“Did you think things over?” Jade asked, getting right to the point.

I nodded. “I did.”

“And?” Eric asked.

“I need help.” It almost killed me to admit that, but I knew it was true. There was nothing like waking up in a hospital to knock some sense into me.

“Finally!” Jade shouted as she threw herself at me.

I couldn’t help but laugh as she held me in a death grip.

Eric smiled at me. “I’m glad to hear it. We’ll be with you the whole way.”

“It’s about damn time.” Adam muttered.

I looked at all three of them and prayed that I would be strong enough to do this. I needed help, and I was going to get it.