Текст книги "Tainted"

Автор книги: K. A. Robinson

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Tainted
Torn – 3
by
K.A. Robinson

This book is dedicated to those of you who followed the series and wanted more. I couldn’t ask for better readers. Thank you so much for your support.

Part One
Facing my Demons
Drake

1

“Wake up, asshole!” someone shouted at me.

I was too hungover to care. I groaned as I rolled over, but I refused to open my eyes. Whoever it was could go take a flying leap.

“Wake! Up!” the person yelled into my ear.

I felt like lightning was shooting through my head. My eyes opened slowly, and I saw Chloe glaring down at me. “Chloe?”

“Good job. You know who I am. Now, get up.”

I instantly went on alert at the anger in her voice. She was obviously still pissed about my little scene at the bar last night.

I slowly sat up and looked at her. “Not so loud. My head is killing me.”

“It’s really going to hurt after I get through with you,” she said as she threw something at me. “Look what fell out of your pocket.”

My eyes widened as I realized what it was. I glanced back and forth between the bag and her, trying to think of something to say. “That’s not mine.”

“Don’t lie to me, Drake. I’m not stupid! It fell out of your pocket!” she screeched.

Eric stood up from his bed and put his hand on her shoulder to keep her from attacking me. “Hey, calm down.”

I watched as she turned to glare at him.

“Stay out of this. Actually, I want you guys to give us a minute alone.”

“I, uh…you’re kind of mad right now. I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Eric said.

“No, I want to be alone with him. Please.”

Eric seemed unsure, but Jade nodded.

“We’ll be outside. Just yell if you need us,” Jade said.

Chloe waited until Eric, Jade, and Adam left to turn back to me. Neither of us spoke as we stared at each other. Her eyes welled up with tears, and I felt my chest tighten as I watched them slide down her cheeks. I knew I was causing her pain, but I didn’t know how to stop it.

“How could you?” she whispered.

“I didn’t—” I started.

She held up her hand. “No, just stop. Tell me the truth.”

I stood and reached out for her, but she pushed me away. That hurt more than I wanted to admit. I never wanted Chloe to push me away. “Chloe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“That’s a lie. If you didn’t want it to happen, you wouldn’t have started using to begin with. You’ve gone years without using. I thought you were done with this shit.”

“I was. I mean, I am. Everything got to me, and I wanted a release. I never meant to keep using, but things just kept getting worse,” I said, trying to explain my reasoning. I knew using made me weak, but I couldn’t help it.

“Drugs are not a release. They’re a prison. How long?”

I looked away. I was ashamed and terrified to admit just how long I’d been using cocaine again. I knew she would be disappointed, and I didn’t want her to hate me any more than she already did.

“How long have you been using again?” she repeated the question.

When I looked up at her, I saw that she was actually shaking. Whether it was from pain or anger, I wasn’t sure. “Since the night Kadi showed up with the pictures.”

“Jesus, Drake!”

“It’s not a big deal, all right?” I said defensively. If she understood that I had it under control, maybe she wouldn’t be so mad.

“Not a big deal? Are you kidding me? You know what I went through with my mother, and I’m not about to go through it again with you!”

Rage filled me at the comparison to her mother. “I’m nothing like her. I would never hurt you like that!”

“You already did, Drake. You’ve been lying to me this entire time. And don’t even get me started on your anger issues. I won’t do it again. I want you to get help.”

“What do you mean, help? I don’t see what the big deal is, Chloe. I’ve got it under control.”

“No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t still be using. I want you to go to rehab again. Please…for us.”

“I’m not going to rehab, Chloe! You’re overreacting to all of this!” I shouted, finally losing my temper. There was no way I was going back to rehab. Besides, I had it under control.

“Then, stop using right now!” she shouted back.

“I will when we go back home. I promise!”

“Bullshit, Drake. You can’t stop. Either you go to rehab, or we’re done!”

My mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

“I mean it, Drake. Either you get your shit together, or I’m walking out the door right now, and I won’t be back.”

“You don’t mean that, Chloe. You wouldn’t just leave me like that. You love me.”

“You’re right. I do love you. But I have to do what’s right for me, too. I can’t be with you if you won’t stop, Drake. I’m sorry, but I can’t do that again.”

“Just wait until we finish the tour, and I’ll go. I swear to you, I will.” I started to panic. She couldn’t give up on me that easily.

“No, I won’t wait that long. Either you go now, or it’s over.”

“Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!” I kicked the bag next to me, and the contents scattered. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because I love you, and I want you to get help! You haven’t been on them long, and it won’t be hard to stop.”

“I can’t do rehab. Just let me do this on my own. Please.” I didn’t need help. I knew I could handle this on by myself.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Drake, but if you won’t go, then it’s time for me to leave.”

“You wouldn’t really leave me, Chloe. Think about it. I love you. Hell, I want to marry you someday!”

I winced as I watched her face pinch up in pain. It wasn’t the best time to throw that at her, but I was desperate. I loved her more than life itself, and I didn’t want to lose her. Maybe if she knew just how much I loved her, she wouldn’t do this to me, to us.

“Good-bye, Drake. I love you.” She stepped closer to me and kissed my cheek.

“Chloe, please don’t go,” I pleaded.

She ignored me as she walked off the bus.

I stood there, frozen for a moment. I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to run after her, but what good would it do? She had made up her mind about me, and nothing I said would change her decision. I kicked my bunk before running to the window. As I looked out, I saw Jade, Eric, and Adam standing next to the door, talking to Chloe. I watched as Jade held her arms out, and Chloe fell into them. My heart broke when I saw Chloe sobbing while Jade rubbed her back. When Chloe pulled away from Jade, Eric stepped up to her and hugged her tightly. I felt rage fill me as I watched another man comfort her. She was mine, yet I was the one causing her pain. It shouldn’t be Eric holding her, it should’ve been me. How could things have gotten so fucked-up so quickly?

She stepped away from Eric and started toward her car, but Adam stopped her. He surprised me when he wrapped his arms around her. Adam was never one to get all emotional, yet there he was, taking care of her. I really had fucked up.

I watched as he whispered in her ear, and she laughed. She stepped away and waved at everyone before she got into her car. She pulled away without a backward glance. I stood, frozen, as the band stood by the bus and watched her leave until she disappeared around the corner.

It seemed like hours before anyone moved again. I continued to stand by the window, unable to make myself move, as I realized that she was really gone. It wasn’t just her blowing hot air in hopes of making me do what she had told me. My legs buckled, and I sank down to the floor, trying to process what had just happened.

Chloe had caught me, and now, she was gone. I looked down and realized that I was still clutching the bag that she had thrown at me. I felt rage take over as I threw it across the bus. It bounced off the table and landed on the floor a few feet away from me. One fucking bag had just ripped my life apart.

I sat there until the bus door opened, and the band walked in. I didn’t bother to glance up as I saw three sets of shoes stop in front of me. I knew exactly what they were going to say, and even though I knew I deserved it, I didn’t want to hear it.

“I hope it was worth it, Drake,” Jade snapped.

I knew it was bad when Jade was the one to jump on me first. We were all a family, but she always tried to keep her opinions to herself.

“Don’t, Jade. I know I fucked up. I don’t need to hear it from you.”

“Obviously, you do. You just let the best thing that ever happened to you walk away. How stupid are you? Are the drugs really worth losing her?” she asked.

“You know the answer to that! Of course they aren’t worth losing Chloe, but what do you expect me to do? She wants me to quit the tour and go into rehab. We can’t afford to cancel the rest of our shows, and I don’t need rehab to stop. I can handle this on my own!”

“Fuck the band, and fuck the drugs! This is your life, Drake, and you’re letting it walk away without even trying to save it.”

“Just stop!” I stood and glared at her. I stepped forward until we were mere inches apart. “It’s done, and there’s nothing I can do to change it!”

“Back the fuck off of Jade, Drake. It’s not her fault that you’re a fucking idiot,” Adam said as he pushed me back.

I snapped when he touched me. I drew my arm back and threw a punch that held every emotion I was feeling—pain, anger, regret, and most of all, loss. When my fist connected with his nose, he stumbled back.

“What the fuck?” he roared as his hands went to his face.

My eyes widened as I watched the blood pour from his nose. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to.”

“Fuck you, asshole!” He threw a punch of his own.

I stumbled back with the impact. My nose instantly started bleeding, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

“What the fuck is so funny?” Adam asked.

My laughter turned to full-out howls at his words. “We’re punching each other and bleeding all over the place.”

The three of them stared at me like I’d lost my mind, and I had to admit that I was thinking the same thing.

I managed to stop laughing long enough to speak again. “I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t mean to hit you, Adam. And I’m sorry for what happened with Chloe, but I don’t know what to do to fix it. I can’t go to rehab right now.”

“Why not?” Eric asked.

He had been silent through all of this, and I was surprised that it was him who spoke up.

“Because we need to finish this tour. After we’re done, I’ll go after her. Hell, maybe she will cave and come back to me.” I didn’t see the latter happening, but I could hope.

Chloe was a hard-ass, but I knew she loved me. I wasn’t being conceited about it. It was just something I could see. I knew the chances of her coming back were slim, but that hope would keep me going until I could stop using and find her.

And I swore to myself that I would stop using. As soon as we finished our shows, I would stop, and then she’d see just how wrong she had been by trying to force me into rehab. I’d hated it the first time, and I wasn’t about to go back. I was in control this time around, and I’d be damned if I let anyone, even Chloe, try to tell me different. I knew her heart was in the right place, but she had freaked-out for nothing.

“You’re insane, Drake. Chloe isn’t going to come back to you, especially if you don’t stop using. She’s a smart girl, and she knows that she needs to protect herself,” Eric said as he watched me closely.

“She doesn’t need protection from me. I would never purposely hurt her. You guys have to know that.”

“You’ve already hurt her, and you’ve broken her trust. You can’t just go back from something like that. If you have this under control, I want you to stop using right now. Finish the tour sober, and then find her. We’ll back you up if she doesn’t believe you. I love you both, and I don’t want to see either one of you hurting,” Jade said.

I walked around her and grabbed a few napkins off the table to wipe away my blood. “I’ll stop. I promise. Let’s get through these last few shows, and I’ll stop.”

“You’re seriously going to keep using even though we all know?” Eric asked incredulously.

“Chloe just walked out on me. Would you rather I found another way to deal with it?” I asked, hoping he would understand.

Jade’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t cheat on her, Drake. I know you better than that.”

“Chloe, drugs, and women are the only things I know. I can’t go without having at least one of them.”

Jade threw her hands up in the air. “You’re a sick fuck, Drake Allen. Enjoy your drugs and women because you just lost everything else that was important to you, including me.” She turned to stomp off the bus.

I watched as she walked down the stairs and slammed the door behind her. Great. Now, I’d not only pissed Chloe off but Jade as well. How many times could I fuck up in less than an hour? I looked up to see Adam and Eric watching me. “What?”

Adam shook his head. “I hope you get your shit together soon because I’m not going to sit here and watch you crash and burn.” He turned and followed Jade down the steps.

And now, I could add Adam to the hate train, too. I glanced at Eric. Maybe he didn’t hate my guts. “We cool?”

He shook his head. “We’re the furthest thing from cool you could ever possibly imagine. I don’t even know what to say to you. I knew something was going on with you, but I hoped that it wasn’t this.”

“I’m fine, Eric. Honest. Just give me some time to get my shit together, and everything will go back to normal. I’m not going to lose Chloe…at least not for forever.”

“You’re an idiot if you think that you haven’t already lost her. I saw her face, Drake. There’s no coming back from that.”

“She’ll be fine. Like I said, when we finish this tour, I’ll stop using, and I’ll find her. She loves me too much to let it all go.”

I was sure of it, but Eric looked far from convinced.

“You took everything bad about her childhood and threw it back at her. You know what she had to deal with, and it’s like you don’t care. I can’t even begin to understand your thought process right now.”

“Let me handle it, okay? Just focus on our band, and I’ll take care of my personal life.” I was starting to get pissed off again, and on top of that, my head was still killing me. I needed to escape before I did something stupid, like hit a band member in the face. Wait, I’d already accomplished that feat.

“It’s your life to live, and I’m not going to sit here and preach to you about it. I just hope you get your life together soon. If you keep it up, you’re going to be out of the band, too.”

His words shocked me. Never once had any of them mentioned kicking me out of the band. Sure, I knew I had been a dick lately, but I didn’t see how they could want to kick me out. I was the main attraction, and they’d tank without me.

“Whatever you say, but we both know you can’t get rid of me without the whole band going under.”

“We’ll survive. I don’t want to kick you out, but we can’t keep dealing with your shit.”

I ignored him as I reached down and picked up the cocaine bag from where it had landed earlier. I didn’t need this shit from any of them. I walked to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me before I pulled out my mirror. Fuck them all. I had this under control.

2

She never came back, and she never called, not even once. With each passing day, the reality of my situation sank in. I’d lost her. With that reality closing in on me from all sides, I started using more. Her leaving had the opposite effect of what she’d hoped for. Her absence was pushing me to use more.

I knew I was being a dick to everyone around me, but I didn’t care. The darkness surrounding me seeped into everything and everyone around me until the entire band was as down as I was. I made sure that I was ready for every show we had, so I could at least say I didn’t suck at that part of my life.

When days changed to weeks, I realized that she was really gone, and my cocaine use tripled. Knowing that I’d lost Chloe sent me spiraling further and further into the darkness now consuming me. Every day, it grew worse as I realized she wasn’t going to change her mind and come back. Without her, I found it hard to go on. I couldn’t believe that I’d let some chick get to me like this, but she wasn’t just any chick. She was my Chloe.

We had just finished our last show when Eric got the phone call that changed everything. I was sitting at the table, eating cereal and moping, while Jade and Adam were playing cards next to me. Eric came running into the bus with a huge grin on his face. He started fist-pumping while doing the most ridiculous dance.

“Dude, you look like you have a vagina,” Adam said as he watched Eric with disgust.

At his words, I snorted and started choking as milk shot out of my nose and back into my bowl of cereal. I shoved it away, disappointed that my dinner had been ruined.

They all started laughing at the look of disgust on my face.

Jade patted me on the shoulder. “Nice.”

“What’s up?” Adam asked Eric.

“You aren’t going to believe this! You remember those demo tapes we sent out to labels before we left? Well, one of them just called me. They want us to fly out to Los Angeles and record some of our new stuff for them.”

Jade started screaming as Adam high-fived Eric.

“That is unbelievable! When are we supposed to be there?” Jade asked.

“They want us there two days from now. They’re going to send a private plane and everything.”

“Holy shit,” I muttered.

I couldn’t believe this was happening to us. We’d been together for years without catching any major attention.

“Let’s not get our hopes up just yet, okay? They’re not offering us a deal. They just want us to come out and record,” Eric said.

“But they’re obviously interested, right? Otherwise, they wouldn’t have even bothered to contact us,” Jade said as she bounced up and down in her chair.

Eric couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “From what the guy said, they’re definitely interested.”

“Yes!” Adam said as he picked up Jade and swung her around.

I laughed. I was happy to see them excited for once. They needed this. I needed this.

“So, I take it we’re going home today?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re finished with the tour now. We can go home, return the bus, and then fly out,” Eric said.

My stomach flipped as I thought about flying. I wasn’t afraid of flying, but I wasn’t fond of it either. “Can we just drive?”

Jade looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Drive?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been on a plane, and it’s not something I want to do again anytime soon.”

Adam grinned. “Better get used to it, pretty boy. If this takes off, we’re going to be flying a lot.”

“Joy,” I mumbled as I laid my head on the table.

* * *

After throwing all of my stuff into my bag, I lay down in my bunk, planning to sleep the rest of the way home. We’d played three shows straight in a row over the last few days, and my body was exhausted. It seemed like I had just closed my eyes when someone started shaking me.

“You’re home, asshat. Get up,” Jade said.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I felt like complete shit. I grabbed my bag from beside my bunk and started walking to the front of the bus. Through the window, I caught sight of my house, and my heart lightened a little bit. It felt good to be home even if it was going to be only for a day.

Adam and Eric helped me grab my guitars and anything else I had stashed under the bus, and then they carried them to my door for me.

Jade followed behind us, watching me closely. “You going to be okay by yourself?”

I rolled my eyes as I unlocked the door. “Yes, mom. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be a smart-ass. You know, we’re all worried sick about you, Drake, and being here without…her will be hard on you.”

“You can say her name, Jade. I won’t break.” I turned to look at her. “Chloe. See? I’m still standing here in one piece,” I said sarcastically.

The truth was I felt broken. I was glad to be home, but I wasn’t sure how I’d feel walking back into my house and seeing her things—if they were even still here.

“You know what? Fuck off, Drake. I’m trying to be understanding here, and as usual, you’re being an ass.” She sighed, clearly frustrated with me. “Try not to overdose before we leave for L.A.” She turned and went back to the bus.

“Ouch,” I said, pretending to be hurt.

I tried not to be bothered by the fact that I’d just pissed Jade off. She’d been temperamental since Chloe left, but now, she was downright livid. I sighed as I turned back to the door and swung it open.

“She’s right, you know. This Drake sucks big, fat monkey ass. You’ve been acting like a big ass prick, and it stinks. I wish you’d get your shit under control before we all drown,” Adam said, glaring at me.

“I’m fine. Thanks for the concern,” I said.

“Bullshit. We know you’re still using, and we’d be blind not to know that it’s getting worse. I’ve sat by and said nothing, but this shit needs to end. You need help.”

“Shut the fuck up! I said that I was fine. What I do is my business and no one else’s!” I yelled.

“You’re our friend, our brother. Of course it’s our business, especially with this possible deal in L.A. We don’t want to lose it because of your problem,” Eric said.

I was so sick of everyone ganging up on me. It was like the whole world was plotting against me. I knew I was getting in deeper than I had originally intended, but I didn’t care. What did it matter now anyway? Chloe was gone, and she wasn’t going to come back.

“We just want the old Drake back,” Adam added.

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a dick. It just comes naturally. I’ll try to keep my cool, okay?”

“We want you to get help, Drake. We don’t want to lose you,” Eric said with concern in his voice.

“Just drop it. I can’t deal with this right now. Besides,” I said, holding up my bag, “I have laundry to do.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Deny it all you want, but you’ll have to face this sometime. I just hope it’s not too late when you do.”

I threw my bag inside and then grabbed the things they had set down by my door. After I put those inside, I picked up my guitars. “Thanks for the concern.”

With that, I walked into my house and then slammed the door in their faces. I couldn’t deal with this shit right now. I slipped off my shoes and went into the kitchen, hoping that I had some food that was still edible after being gone for so long. I found a can of peaches and ate them straight from the can as I leaned against the counter.

I glanced down and froze. There was a key sitting there. I set the can down and picked up the key. I turned it over and over in my hands, thinking of Chloe. She had been here. I threw down the key and ran back to the entryway. Her shoes and spare jacket were both gone. I checked the living room next and saw that her books were gone from where she’d left them on the table. I went to the bathroom and found the same thing. Her toiletries were no longer there.

Taking a deep breath, I walked down the stairs to the basement where most of her stuff was boxed up. We’d planned on unpacking it all when we got back home. Everything was missing. I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor with my head on my knees. Everything was gone. She was gone. I’d hoped that her things would still be here. That maybe, just maybe, she hadn’t completely given up on us. But knowing that she’s come to pick up all of her shit was like being slapped across the face.

I stood and grabbed the first thing I saw—one of my uncle’s stupid bowling trophies. I threw it against the wall and watched as it shattered from the force of the impact. I couldn’t handle this. I was done. If she didn’t want me, then fuck it. Fuck everything. Fuck her.

I stomped back up the stairs and grabbed the cocaine I had stashed in my bag. I walked to the couch and sat down. I poured what was left in the bag onto the glass top of my coffee table. I pulled out a credit card from my wallet and used it to crush the powder and separate it into lines.

After grabbing and rolling a bill, I snorted each line. It was more coke than I usually did at once and I felt the effects start to take over quickly. I relaxed as I lay down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. I wanted the drug to take away all my pain, my anger, and the betrayal I felt. I was so tired of feeling all the time.

* * *

Sometime later, I heard a knock on the door. I had been playing my guitar on the couch, but stopped as I stood up to see who it was. I could still feel the effects of the cocaine in my system as I stumbled to the door. The knock came again just as I reached for the knob and opened the door. Jade was standing on the porch, holding a bag of food from the Mexican restaurant by her house. My stomach growled loudly as I smelled the food. I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was until then.

She looked concerned as she took in my appearance. “You okay?”

Between the coke and finding out that Chloe had moved all of her things out, I knew I had to look like shit. “I’m fine. I was just messing around with my guitar.”

“Oh, okay then.” She held up the bag. “I come bearing food. Consider it a peace offering.”

I swung open the door to let her pass by me. I followed as she walked past the living room and straight into the kitchen. After setting the bag on the counter, she pulled out two to-go boxes and handed one to me while stashing the other one in my refrigerator. I grabbed a fork from a drawer and sat down at the kitchen table.

“Thanks.” I opened my container to see two enchiladas and rice waiting for me. Compared to the peaches I had earlier, this was heaven in a box.

“No problem. I figured you wouldn’t have much to eat, so I thought I’d bring you something.”

“I appreciate it.” I waited for her to tell me why she was really here.

Three. Two. One.

“And I kind of wanted to talk to you about earlier.” She said as she watched me devour my food.

Bingo. I remained silent as I shoved food into my mouth.

“I just feel bad for how we acted earlier. You’re like my brother, and I’m worried about you. I don’t want to lose you.”

My stomach clenched as I watched her eyes fill with tears. Jade was not an emotional person, and I felt like an ass for bringing her to tears.

“Don’t cry, Jade. I’m not mad at you. Honest. I promise that you aren’t going to lose me.”

She sniffled as she wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. “You’re not my Drake anymore. I’m not sure who you are, but I know that I don’t like him. I want my Drake back.”

“I’m right here, Jade. Please don’t cry. You’re killing me.”

She laughed. “You always did suck with emotions.”

“You’re telling me,” I grumbled.

“Anyway, will you please just think about getting help? Don’t do it for me or the guys or even Chloe. Do it for yourself. You’re better than this.”

I sighed as I put my fork down. “I know. I’m working on it, okay? I refuse to go to rehab, but I’ll get my shit together for you guys. I promise.”

She stood and walked around the table to stand beside me. “I hope so, Drake. If not, you’re going to rip the band apart.” She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m going home, but I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Thanks, Jade. I will.”

I stared at the food in front of me as she let herself out. What was I doing? How had I become this person? I hated myself for being weak. I was better than this. I shoved the food away from me. My appetite was gone. My leg started bouncing up and down as anger and disgust flooded my body. I stood up and kicked the chair away from me. It crashed to the floor, but I ignored it as I walked to the front door and threw it open. I couldn’t stay here by myself tonight, or I’d go mad.

Instead of taking my car, I decided to walk to wherever my destination might be. I ended up standing in Gold’s parking lot, staring at the building that I’d spent countless hours in. Maybe going back to my roots would help clear my head. My home wasn’t really my home anyway. It was my uncle’s house, and without Chloe there, it was nothing more than a shell of a life that I’d never have.

I shook my head to clear it and walked across the lot to the door. The usual bouncer, Jerry, was standing just inside the entrance, and he smiled when he saw me.

“Well, look who decided to grace us with his presence. Where’s the rest of the band?”

“Good to see you, too, Jerry. I’m assuming they’re at home, sleeping off our summer,” I said as I shook his hand.

“Ah, gotcha. What brings you in here by yourself then? Where’s that pretty girl of yours?”

My stomach clenched at the mention of Chloe. When I decided to come in here, it hadn’t crossed my mind that the regulars wouldn’t know Chloe and I weren’t together anymore. That was something I didn’t want to repeat over and over again.

I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. “We’re not together anymore.”

Jerry’s mouth dropped open. “Wait…what? Why? I figured you two would run off and get married this summer or some crazy shit like that. It seemed like you two were meant to be together.”

I snorted. “Yeah, I thought so, too, until I fucked everything up.”

“Dude, tell me you didn’t cheat on her. If you did, I will personally kick your ass. Chloe is such a sweet girl.”

“I didn’t, and she is. It’s complicated, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

He nodded. “Sorry. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I had.”

“It’s fine. Listen, I’m going to grab a beer. I’ll catch ya later.”

“It’s good to see you again. Don’t be a stranger, all right?”

I nodded and turned to head to my usual table. When I found no one sitting there, I guessed it was permanently claimed by Breaking the Hunger, even after we’d been gone for months. I had barely sat down when a waitress I didn’t recognize appeared beside me.

“What can I get for you?” she asked cheerfully, looking me over.

I could tell from her expression that she liked what she saw, but I wasn’t interested. She was pretty, but she wasn’t Chloe. I mentally smacked myself as I compared the two of them in my head. They both had platinum blonde hair and blue eyes, but that was where the similarities ended. This girl was several inches taller with an athletic build whereas Chloe was all soft edges and beautiful curves.

Who was I kidding? No one would ever compare to Chloe, physically or mentally. I’d never met someone with her spark or her love of life. Her excitement over the smallest things had always made me smile. Even now, I couldn’t fight the grin turning up the corners of my lips.