Текст книги "This Man Confessed"
Автор книги: Jodi Ellen Malpas
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Текущая страница: 30 (всего у книги 34 страниц)
‘Oh.’ I rest my tired arse down on one of the plush chairs surrounding the conference table. I could point out to him that I’m not the only one who’s been withholding information, but I won’t. I know he’s been pulling strings, calling in favours and generally doing everything other than using the police in the way they should be, whereas I have just been plain dumb.
‘Should I come to The Manor after work?’ I ask.
‘No, John will take you home as soon as you’ve spoken to Patrick. I’ll meet you there. Given this new information I’ve just found out, I’ve got Steve swinging by.’ His sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed and neither does the edge of anger. I’ve made a huge mistake. I don’t point out that my working day may not be over after I’ve spoken to Patrick because it will serve no purpose other than instigating further growling down the phone. I really do need to play by his rules this time. ‘Don’t leave that office, and once John’s taken you home, you stay put. Do you understand me?’
‘I understand.’ I whisper.
‘Good girl. I’ll speak with Steve, but I’m out of here the second I’m done.’
‘I love you.’ I blurt urgently, like I won’t ever get to tell him again.
He sighs. ‘I know you do, baby. We’ll have a bath when I’m home. Deal?’
‘Deal.’ I agree, his soft words and promise of tub-time making me feel a little better.
‘Do what you’re told, lady.’ He hangs up after that final warning, but I don’t take my phone from my ear. I know he’s gone, but I hold it there for a few moments anyway, maybe hoping that I’m mistaken and his deep husk will install some further reassurance.
It’s only when the door to the conference room swings open and Patrick appears that I finally pull my mobile away and accept he’s gone.
‘There you are,’ He still doesn’t look impressed as he stands holding the door open. ‘Are you ready?’
‘Yes,’ I go to rise, but he waves me back down.
‘No, stay there. We’re having the meeting in here.’ He shouts through to the others and one by one, they filter in, all puzzled and all deadly quiet. Something is going down, everyone can obviously sense it, and I now gather that it’s not just me and Patrick in this meeting.
There are no trays of tea brought in by Sal and there are no fresh cream cakes to dive into. Patrick looks tired and harassed, whereas we all look majorly confused by this sudden change in meeting etiquette. What happen to the relaxed affair, where we all huddle around our boss’s desk and stuff our faces with cake while Patrick brings himself up-to-date on client progress?
‘Right,’ He sits his big body down in a chair at the head of the table and undoes his suit jacket to prevent the pull over his rounded stomach. ‘I’ve not been here much lately, and I’m sure you’re all wondering why.’
The other three all murmur their acknowledgment, and even though I had absentmindedly noticed his lack of presence in the offices lately, I hadn’t dwelled on it for long. ‘Well, there is a perfectly good reason,’ he continues. ‘and I’m now in a position to disclose it. It has been tough, keeping you all in the dark. You all know I value each and every one of you, but things needed to be ironed out and finalised.’ His hands rest on his stomach and he relaxes back in his chair. My eyes travel from Tom to Victoria to Sal, and back again a few times, trying to gage their reaction to the news of news, but they are all just staring blankly at Patrick. ‘I’m retiring.’ he sighs. ‘I’ve had it.’
There is a collective hum of relived breaths coming from everyone, except me. If he’s retiring, then what happens to Rococo Union? Have none of them thought of that yet?
‘You’ve all still got your jobs. I’ve made sure of that,’ More collective sighs. ‘but I can’t do it anymore. The rat race of London is wearing me out, so Irene and I are moving up to the Lake District.’
My first thought is… Patrick full time with Irene? What is he thinking? And my second thought is… who am I going to be working for? I don’t have to wait long to find out. The door opens and Mikael walks in.
Chapter 32
‘Meet the new owner of Rococo Union!’ Patrick sings.
Tom and Victoria swoon a little, but Sally is definitely with me in the shock department. We’re both visibly choking on thin air, but while I know damn well why I am, I have no clue what’s gotten into Sal.
‘Of course, you already know him in some capacity.’ Patrick continues, ‘Mr Van Der Haus and I have been thrashing out a deal over the last few weeks, and we’ve finally settled on mutually agreeable terms.’
‘And I can’t wait to get stuck in.’ Mikael smiles, ignoring the other members of staff and keeping his blues right on me. ‘I think we’ll work very well together.’
I predict that the hum of agreement comes from only three people in this room. I don’t agree and it doesn’t look like Sal does either. There will be nothing coming from my mouth because my throat has closed up. I watch him round the table and shake hands with Patrick before formally introducing himself to my colleagues. When he makes it to Sal, he barely looks at her and she undoubtedly burns bright red and looks down to the floor.
She’s been seeing Mikael!
My mouth gapes as I watch her fidget. That is how he knows I’m married. That is how he knows I’m pregnant and that I’m pregnant with twins. That is how he knows everything!
The room is suddenly filled with Massive Attack’s Angel and everyone looks at me, sitting in the chair like a statue, holding my phone limply in my hand.
‘Would you like to take that?’ Mikael asks on a smile, which I don’t reciprocate. Then the office door bursts open and John steams in, panting and doing a quick assessment of the scene that he’s just barged in on. Now, I can safely say that my career at Rococo Union is over.
John steps forward, with no regard for the people all looking wide eyed at him, and grabs my phone from my lifeless hand, answering it quickly. ‘She’s fine.’
My stunned brain gets up to speed with what’s happening as I watch John pace the conference room. Everyone is watching him, but no one is questioning him. He must have seen Mikael enter the office and called Jesse. I almost want to yell at the big guy, but the latest stroke Mikael has pulled is the nail in the coffin for me and my employment at Rococo Union—that and the huge, mean Mafia type stomping around the office.
Mikael doesn’t need an interior design company. This is ridiculous, and crossing the fine line of obsessive… a bit like my husband did.
John looks at me and nods, me nodding back because speech still hasn’t found me. Then he hands me the phone, and I look at him in horror. I can’t have what I know will be a heated conversation with Jesse here and now. I push myself back, further into the chair, but John gives me a look to suggest that I’m not going to get away with it. Jesse wants to talk to me, and I know I’m going to get nowhere refusing.
Nervously taking the phone, I stand up and leave the room. ‘Jesse?’
‘What the FUCK is he doing there?’ he’s rampant, probably yanking chunks of hair from his head.
‘He’s bought the company.’ I say the words quietly and calmly, having a delusional hope that by saying it calmly, might reflect the way in which he deals with this. It’s a very delusional hope.
He’s hyperventilating down the phone. ‘Get your bag, get John, and leave. Do you hear me?’
‘Yes,’ I confirm quickly, knowing I have no other option.
‘Do it now while I’m on the phone.’
‘Okay,’ I let my phone leave my ear and re-enter the office, getting six sets of eyes pointed straight at me. The tension in the air is heavy. I pick my bag up and look at John, who nods again.
‘Ava?’ Patrick’s familiar, concerned voice pulls my eyes to my boss, or ex-boss.
‘I’m sorry, Patrick. I can’t work for Rococo Union anymore.’
‘Why ever not? Exciting things will be happening. Mikael has assured me that you’ll be made a profit sharing director. I made it part of the deal, flower.’ He’s standing now and approaching me with a wrinkled brow. ‘It’s an amazing opportunity for you.’
I smile and glance at Mikael. He seems to be speechless himself now. ‘I’m sorry, I should’ve said that I can’t work for Mikael.’ Now all eyes are on the Dane. ‘Mikael has been actively pursuing me for some time. He won’t take no for an answer.’ I swing my bag onto my shoulder. ‘Sal, he’s been using you to keep tabs on me. I’m sorry.’
She’s hiding her face, but I can see that she’s crying. I feel terrible for her.
‘Are you so desperate that you’d destroy someone as sweet as Sally?’ I ask Mikael. ‘Are you so desperate to get revenge on a man that you’ll buy the company his wife works for?’
‘Revenge on that womaniser is just an advantage. I’ve wanted you from day one.’ He basically confirms Jesse’s suspicions in that one sentence. ‘He doesn’t deserve you.’
‘He does deserve me, and he has me. He’ll always have me. We’ve fought off bigger beasts than you, Mikael. Nothing you can tell me will ever sway me from my decision to be with him.’ My body might be shaking, but my voice is steady and firm. ‘I have nothing more to say to you.’ I turn to leave, but stop briefly at the door. ‘I’m sorry, Patrick.’
John follows me, his giant hand set firmly on my back, as if he’s gaging my physical condition. I feel sad, but strangely resolute.
‘Ava,’
The light Danish accent that I used to find quite sexy, now just makes my skin crawl. John tries to push me on, but a stupid sense of curiosity has me fighting against the big guy’s strength and turning towards Mikael.
‘He fucked other women when he was with you, Ava. He doesn’t deserve you.’
‘He does deserve me!’ I scream the words in his face, and he steps back, shocked.
John’s hand moves to my arm, but I shrug him off. ‘Ava, girl?’
‘No! No one gets to pass judgement on him, except me! He’s mine!’ I’ve forgiven him, and given the chance, I could probably forget. ‘You’re blinded by resentment.’ I say more calmly.
‘It’s more about you.’ The Dane flicks a cautious glance at my bodyguard.
I laugh and shake my head. ‘No, it’s not. I’m married and preg…’
‘And I still want you.’
My mouth snaps shut, and John lets out a warning growl. ‘The girl is taken.’ He tries to manoeuvre me onwards, but I’m fixed in place.
‘Did you drug me?’ I ask, but the horrified look that instantly invades his pale face tells me what I need to know.
‘Ava, I would never hurt you. I’ve bought this company for you.’
I shake my head on a disbelieving laugh. ‘You’re consumed with the need for vengeance. You don’t even know me. We’ve shared no intimacy, connection or special moments. What’s wrong with you?’
‘I know a good thing when I see it, and I’m prepared to fight for it.’
‘You’ll be fighting in vain.’ I say calmly, ‘And even if you succeed in your attempts to break us—which you never will—you couldn’t have me afterwards.’
His skin gathers on his forehead when he frowns. ‘Why?’
‘Because without him, I’d be dead.’ I turn and leave my workplace, knowing I’ll never return. I’m a little sad, but knowing what’s waiting for me past this point in my life puts the biggest smile on my face.
* * *
When I’m settled safely in John’s Range Rover and we’ve pulled away from the kerb, I register my phone in my hand and remember that he’s on the other end of the line. I don’t want to hear him, I want to see him. ‘Jesse?’
It’s silent for a while, but I know he’s there. His presence travels through the line and kisses my skin. ‘I don’t deserve you.’ he says quietly. ‘He’s right, but I’m too selfish to give you up to someone who does. We’ll never be broken and you’ll never be without me, so you’ll be living forever, baby.’
Tears stab at my eyes and I think of how grateful I am that he is such a selfish man. ‘Deal.’ I whisper.
‘I’ll see you in the bath.’
‘Deal.’ I repeat because I know I’ll never manage more than one word without coughing all over them. He hangs up and I lose myself in thought as I watch London fly by the window. I feel an amazing sense of relief. For once, there’s complete silence in John’s car. There’s no humming and there’s no taping of the steering wheel. We travel in a comfortable quiet back to Lusso.
* * *
‘Let’s get you in, girl.’ John parks up and jumps out, leaving me to unbuckle and join him at the front of his car.
‘You don’t have to escort me in,’ I say, but he pulls a face that suggests he does. ‘Jesse’s told you to sweep the penthouse, hasn’t he?’
‘Just a little check, that’s all, girl.’ He takes my elbow and leads me into the foyer of Lusso. I could complain, but I don’t bother. He’s being completely over cautious, but if it keeps him and my neurotic husband happy, then I’ll comply.
I’m surprised to see Casey here, but he’s not in uniform. ‘Hi, Casey.’ I call as I’m led past, not being given a moment to converse, or maybe warn him that he’s going to be facing the wrath of Jesse very soon. I do notice how smart he looks in his suit, though, and I definitely spot the look of alarm on his face at the sight of the big guy, escorting me. John has that effect on most people, just like he did me.
John punches the code in and stands back to let me enter the elevator before he joins me. He taps the code in again.
‘You know the code?’ I ask, hoping to God he doesn’t know the significance of the code.
He smiles down at me, and I can’t work out if it’s a knowing look or not. ‘The mother fucker was sensible this time, but you’d think he would be a little bit more creative.’
I cough a little, thinking just how creative Jesse can be when he reaches that zero. Wonderfully creative, in fact. Mind-blowingly creative. I need to run that bath, but as the doors of the elevator open, I uncharitably remember that it’s early and Cathy is more than likely still faffing around the penthouse.
Letting us in, I immediately head towards the kitchen and dump my bag on the island, but I find no Cathy, so I set off upstairs in search of her, set on relieving her for the rest of the day.
‘Ava, girl,’ John’s thundering footsteps come after me. ‘Let me check.’
‘John, really?’ I stop and let him pass. ‘Are you babysitting me until Jesse gets home?’ I truly hope not. I want to have a bath before my bath with Jesse.
‘No. Peace of mind.’ he rumbles. ‘Quit with the complaining.’
I recoil a little at his shortness, but I don’t argue with the giant of a man. I let him open and close doors while I prop myself up against the glass bannister, arms folded across my chest, patiently waiting. There is no way I should be whining about this, given our surprise visitor this morning.
‘All clear,’
‘That’s a relief,’ I smile, pushing my lower back away from the glass.
John abruptly halts, his eyebrows hovering somewhere between the tops of his shades and the top of his head. ‘Don’t back chat me, girl.’ He’s really grumpy, just when I thought he and I had reached an understanding. ‘I’ll call security and get the code sorted.’
I watch him stomp off downstairs. ‘No Cathy?’ I ask his back.
‘No Cathy.’ he confirms, heading for the penthouse phone system, but his mobile starts ringing before he makes it to the landline. ‘Yes?’ he grunts, detouring into the kitchen. ‘We’re here now. Cathy’s already left, but I’ll stay until you arrive.’ His voice is getting quieter as the distance between us grows, and I know he’s talking to Jesse. ‘Blue door, needs painting.’ John says on a purposed hush. I can still hear perfectly, though. That’s the disadvantage to having such a low, rumbling voice. He may sound menacing, but he can’t whisper for shit. ‘Lansdowne Terrace. I can’t be sure. I only got a glimpse, but if it’s not her, then she has a doppelganger.’
I’m unconsciously walking towards John’s voice. I heard that right, so it’s not like I need to gain closeness to ensure my ears aren’t failing me. But his attempt to keep this from my ear shot, coupled with the mention of Ruth Quinn’s address and the fact that John obviously recognises her, makes me need to see his face to gage his expression. I know it’s not going to be good, not when he’s talking to Jesse, which means Jesse knows Ruth Quinn, too. My blood is running colder with each step I take towards John’s low, hushed tone.
‘There’s no one there?’ John’s pacing the kitchen at the far end. ‘Ruth Quinn. I already told you. I know my eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be, but I’d put my life on it. You need to call the police, not go looking for her, you crazy mother fucker.’
My blood is ice and my body frozen in place as I watch John turn slowly and register my presence. He might be black, but he has definitely just paled. ‘Who is she?’ I ask him.
His huge chest expands and he reaches up to take his glasses off. I wish he’d have left them on because the rare sight of his eyes has just confirmed my fears. They are worried, and the big guy doesn’t do worried. ‘Jesse, you need to get your arse back here. Leave it for the police to deal with.’ John’s mobile leaves his ear, and I hear Jesse’s angry yell down the phone. I can’t decipher what he’s saying, but his frustrated shout says a thousand words. The mention of police intervention can’t be good, either.
‘Who is she?’ I grate, my breathing starting to accelerate. I’m anxious and panicking, but I don’t know what about.
John sighs, defeated, yet he still doesn’t answer, instead turning his back on me. ‘It’s too late. She’s standing right here. You’d better come home.’
I hear an angry yell, and I think I catch the sound of something hitting something, like a fist on a front door—a worn, blue front door. I can feel my patience fraying. My lack of knowledge in something that I’m sensing I should know about is re-heating my frozen veins.
John hands me the phone, and I don’t delay swiping it from his hand. ‘Who is she?’ I remain calm and clear, but if I don’t get an answer, then I’ll be raging very quickly. And I already know that it’ll be the blood pressure raising kind of furious.
He’s heaving down the phone, his purposeful, thumping footsteps evident in the background. ‘I’m not sure.’
‘What do you mean?’ I’m shouting. He didn’t answer, not satisfactorily. He knows who Ruth Quinn is.
‘I’m on my way home. We’ll talk.’
‘No, tell me!’
‘Ava, I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure it’s her.’ he says, the screeching of tyres making me wince. That may be so, but John’s inability to whisper has screwed that plan up. ‘I’ll explain when I can sit you down.’
‘I’m not going to like this, am I?’ I don’t know why I’m asking. He wants to sit me down—not a good sign. There are no good signs, in fact. Even the big guy looks all concerned by what’s transpiring.
‘Baby, please, I need to see you.’
‘You didn’t answer my question.’ I remind him quietly, resting myself on a barstool. ‘What else could you possibly have to tell me, Jesse?’
‘I’ll be home soon.’
‘Will it make me run?’
‘I’ll be home soon.’ he repeats and hangs up, leaving me with John’s phone suspended limply by my cheek and a stomach churning with trepidation. I almost want to run right now. Uncertainty, mixed with incredible fear, is pushing me to run away, but not to escape him because the thought of being without him sears painfully on every fragment of my being. But there’s an aching pit, deep in my stomach that’s telling me I should protect myself from whatever is about to impact on my life. Our life.
The penthouse phone screeches, making me jump, and John’s thumps his heavy feet across the kitchen, now with his glasses back in place. I won’t waste my breath trying to extract any information from him, even though he has the information that I need.
He returns to the kitchen, looking too fraught for such a menacing man. Now I’m really worried. ‘I’m needed downstairs. You’ll lock the door behind me and you won’t answer it unless I call you to say it’s me. Where’s your phone?’
‘What’s happening?’ I stand, starting to shake.
‘Where’s your phone?’ he presses, taking his own from my trembling hand.
‘In my bag. John, tell me.’
He helps himself, tipping the contents of my bag out and quickly locating my mobile. He sits it neatly on the island and picks me up, placing me gently on the stool. ‘Ava, now isn’t the time to argue with me. There’s someone the concierge is suspicious of and I’m just going to check it out. It’s probably nothing.’
I don’t believe him. Nothing suggests I should; not the tone of his voice or his body language. Everything is suggesting that I should be terrified, and I’m beginning to feel it. ‘Okay,’ I agree reluctantly.
After nodding and squeezing my shoulder affectionately, he carries his big body from the kitchen, and I soon hear the front door close, leaving me still shaking and with a racing mind. I’m failing on every level to calm myself down. I just want Jesse. I don’t care what he’s got to tell me, I don’t give a damn. I clench my phone and run up the stairs to the bedroom, quickly locating the key to Jesse’s office from my underwear drawer before rushing back down and making quick work of unlocking the door. I know I’ll feel better when I’m sitting in his big office chair, like he’s wrapped around me in a sense.
I burst through the door, frenzied and out of breath, only to be met by a woman, who’s standing in the middle of the room, staring at my wall.
Ruth Quinn.
My legs buckle, making me stagger forward and my heart stops in my chest. But my dramatic entrance and gasp of shock doesn’t seem to faze her. She maintains her rapt stare, not giving me a second glance. She’s spellbound and if it wasn’t for Jesse and John’s recent words and reactions to this woman, then I would be thinking that she not only has a crush on me, but she is insanely obsessed.
Too much time has passed before my brain registers that I should be running, but when I slowly start stepping backwards, she looks at me. She looks hollow, not the usual bright eyed, fresh skinned woman who I’ve become used to. It has only been a few hours since I’ve seen her, but you would think it was years.
‘Don’t bother.’ Her voice is cold and carrying an air of loathing, and it immediately eliminates any thoughts I had that this woman is crushing on me. Now I know, with absolute certainty, that she hates me. ‘The lift will be out of action and Casey will stop you on the stairs.’
I might be in shock, but those words register loud and clear. So does the mental flash back of Casey in his suit… and in the CCTV footage from the night I was drugged. I even manage to ask myself the sensible question of how the hell she got in the penthouse, let alone Jesse’s office.
Then she’s dangling a bunch of keys in front of her. ‘He made it too easy.’ She throws them on Jesse’s desk, and my eyes follow their path until they clatter and eventually still. I don’t recognise the set, but I’m not stupid enough to wonder what they’re for. ‘Your husband’s stupidity and my lover’s desperate need to make me happy has almost made this boring.’ She looks back to the wall. The Ava wall. ‘I think he’s a little obsessed with you.’
I remain exactly where I am, racing through my options. I have none. No escape, no chance of anyone getting to me and with the new concierge keeping guard, I’m helpless.
The tip of her finger meets the wall where Jesse has written something. ‘My heart started beating again?’ She laughs, a cold, sinister laugh, increasing my already potent unease. ‘Jesse Ward, the obnoxious, woman using, arsehole is in love, married and now expecting twins? How perfect.’
She doesn’t mean that, but she definitely meant what came before. I’m facing another scorned ex-lover, but this one is on a whole new level. She hates him, and in turn, hates me. Frightening clarity, plus the way she has now turned and is staring at my stomach, informs me that she also hates our growing babies. My fear has just catapulted to the highest level, and I know for certain that me and my babies are in grave danger.
I acknowledge her getting closer, but I don’t acknowledge that I’m moving too. Not fast enough, though, because she is in front of me in seconds and now stroking my stomach thoughtfully.
Then she draws her hand back and punches me. I scream, my body folding over protectively, my arms wrapping around my tummy, instinctively trying to protect my babies.
She’s screaming, too, grabbing at my hair and yanking me from Jesse’s office into the openness of the penthouse. ‘You should have left him.’ she shouts, pushing me to the floor and kicking me accurately.
Pain slices through me and my eyes tear up, flowing freely. If I could get my mind past the incredible pain and shock, then I think I could find the strength to find my anger. She’s trying to kill our children.
‘What is it about the immoral bastard that has you hanging around, you pathetic bitch!’ She pulls me to my feet and slaps me around the face, but the raging sting and flaming skin won’t pull my arms from my stomach, nothing will, not even the need to fly back at her. I even have my phone in my hand still, but I can’t risk giving her clear access to my stomach.
My overloaded brain is urgently trying to guide me, give me instruction, but all I can think to do is accept her derangement and pray that all three of us come safely out the other end. If I’ve ever thought that I might have been in hell, then this moment is proving me wrong. This is below the lowest level of the underworld.
Her fist connects with my forearm on an angered, frenzied scream and my body concaves on a frightened, painful one. I’m not going to get through this. I’m nowhere near dead, but the look in her eyes through my hazy vision tells me she won’t stop until I am. She’s demented. Completely unhinged. What the hell did he do to this woman?
The front door crashes open and she’s suddenly gone from in front of me. I struggle to turn, still clutching at my stomach, still crying in agony. I see her back disappear into the kitchen, and then my pouring eyes land on Jesse. His whole body is heaving. He’s run up the stairs, and his fist is visibly swollen. His frantic eyes are running all over my body, his forehead is pouring with sweat and his face is a mixture of pure, raw terror and incensed, body shaking anger. It takes him a few moments to gather himself, and I can see he’s torn between tending to me or dealing with the crazy woman who’s broken into our home. I can’t talk, but I’m mentally screaming at him to do the latter. A choked sob escapes my mouth, prompting him to shake further then break into a full on sprint into the kitchen. My feet instinctively fly into action, and wisely or not, I follow him. Now every modicum of fear is for him.
I skid to a halt, seeing Jesse standing across the room, then I quickly locate Ruth across the breakfast bar from him. We’re standing in a perfect triangle, all breathing heavy, all flicking eyes to each other, but Ruth is the only one brandishing a knife. My phone drops from my hand, clattering loudly, but it doesn’t draw her attention. The huge blade glimmers as she turns it casually in her hand. It’s pointed in my direction, but the sight of the evil, razor sharp metal doesn’t just make my fear rocket. It also makes my eyes fall onto Jesse’s abdomen in horror.
‘Oh my God,’ I whisper, so quietly I know that I’ve not been heard over the distressed rush of breaths coming from all three bodies in the room. He said that it happened in the car accident. That’s what he said. I search for my brain, trying to locate the exact words, but I don’t find them because they’re not there. What’s there, though, is the silent conclusion that I drew myself. I’m horribly mistaken in my assumption, but I also doubt he would’ve divulged the real reason—the reason that is standing here now, playing threateningly with a knife—a knife I know that she’s prepared to use. I don’t think anything else I could face will terrify me more. Now all four of us are in danger.
‘Nice to see you, Jesse.’ she spits, steadying her stance by shifting her feet further apart. She’s getting ready to pounce.
‘No, it’s not.’ Jesse replies calmly through his laboured breathing. ‘Why are you here?’
She smiles coldly. ‘I was happy to let you wallow in misery, drink your life away, and try to fill the void that you created by mindlessly fucking about, but then you went and fell in love. I can’t let you have happiness when you’ve destroyed mine.’
‘I’ve paid tenfold for my mistakes, Lauren.’ His referral to Ruth has my head snapping from the shiny blade to Jesse’s sweaty face. Lauren? ‘I deserve this.’ It’s almost a plea, and it slices straight through my heart. He’s trying to convince himself that he deserves me and the thought of him seeking approval from this deranged woman momentarily makes me forget about the dull ache in my stomach and the heated sting of my face. I feel anger simmering.
‘No you don’t. You took my happiness, so I’ll take yours.’ She waves the knife at me and Jesse shifts nervously, his haunted greens flicking over to me briefly before settling back on Ruth—or Lauren. I don’t even know.
‘I didn’t take your happiness.’
‘Yes!’ She screams. ‘You married me, and then left me!’
I gasp and swing my eyes to Jesse. He’s chewing his lip, his eyes darting constantly between me and… his ex-wife? He was married? I’m choking on nothing, my mind racing in circles and failing to comprehend what I’ve just heard.
Ruth looks at me, snapping instantly from her angry outburst and smiling. ‘You didn’t know? Well, there’s a surprise. It might also explain why you’ve stuck around.’
Her smugness teamed with Jesse’s despair cripples me completely. ‘Nothing can break us.’ My words travel through the air and wipe the smile from her face, but they also make Jesse noticeably tense. I hold his wary gaze and determine from the emptiness in them that he disagrees. My head starts shaking mildly, my bottom lip trembling. The feeling of my palm sliding across my stomach is comforting, but the look on his face isn’t. His eyes fall from mine to my navel and a wave of desperation travels slowly across his face.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he murmurs. ‘I should have told you.’
He really has saved the best shocker till last, but I don’t care. I mean it. Nothing can break us. ‘It doesn’t matter.’ I try to assure him, but I can see defeatism swallowing him up.
