Текст книги "That Wedding"

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 25 страниц)

Phillip and I didn't talk about when exactly he'd make the big announcement today. It's been really hard for me to keep my mouth shut. After my meeting with Pastor, I'd really like to give Mrs. Mac a piece of my mind, my middle finger, and then say something like, There's no way in hell that Pastor John is marrying us, so there. I'd even stick out my tongue for good measure.

But then I remember I'm an adult.

Darn.

Finally during dessert, Phillip turns to his dad and says, "Dad, I have some good news."

His dad says, "Does that mean you finally asked her?"

Mrs. Mac says, "Asked her what?"

Phillip turns to his mom. "I know Dad told you all about us building in Kansas City."

She nods.

Phillip continues. "The good news is we offered Jadyn the opportunity to design it, and she's accepted."

Mrs. Mac smiles and starts to say something, but Phillip keeps talking. "And there's more."

"More?" Mr. Mac says with a confused look.

"A lot more. We've decided to start looking for a house in KC right away. We've also decided to get married right away."

"Why?" Mrs. Mac says. The she turns to me with an accusatory look. "Are you pregnant?"

This is the same woman that told me just a few weeks ago that I should get pregnant and make Phillip marry me. Now, she's pissed.

Phillip says, "She's not pregnant." He covers my hand with his. "Although that would be amazing."

I melt. Phillip just makes me melt. Always.

I went from feeling like a cat with her back all hunched up and readying her claws, to a little puddle of mush.

"How soon are we talking? You know, most weddings take fifteen months to plan."

"I do know that," I say. Ha! I've been secretly planning for a week. I know lots of stuff you don't. So there. "We're still working it all out, but we're shooting for December or January."

"December or January!!! That's only a few months! I have no idea how we're going to plan a wedding that fast."

She seems really stressed by this thought, which I think is a bit odd, as she managed to help her son plan a surprise engagement party in less than a week. So I say, "You don't have to worry about it. Phillip and I will do all the planning."

She looks at me, obviously reading my mind and knowing I don't have a clue. "So have you set a date? That's the first thing you need to do."

"We disagree. We decided to set a timeframe. A lot of the places I've called are already booked, so we're not setting a date until we find a place."

Philip says, "That sounds reasonable, don't you think, Mom?"

His mom huffs, "Are you sure you want to rush this? You just got engaged, and you're wrong. The first place you need to reserve is the church."

I wanna tell her I'm never wrong, but this will be more satisfying.

What the hell.

Call the president. Give him the launch codes.

It's time to drop the bomb.

"We're not getting married at the church," I say.

"You're what!? Why not? You HAVE to get married in the church."

Here we go. Here's where I'm gonna have to spill it. I haven't told Phillip yet. I've sorta been afraid to.

Phillip comes to my rescue. "We thought since it will be winter, and there will probably be lots of snow, that we would have everything in one place. It makes sense, and it's what we want."

"Phillip, you HAVE to get married in the church."

"No, we don't," he tells her. "It's our wedding. We can do whatever we want."

"Well, we still need to call Pastor John and see when he's available."

I grab Phillip's hand and hold it tightly for strength. "I met with Pastor John. I don't want him to marry us. We'll be having someone else do it."

Phillip turns to me. "You said something about that after you met with him. What's going on?"

I look at Phillip then lower my head and look at the kitchen table. I take a deep breath and say, "Pastor John told me that your mom's concerned about you marrying me, Phillip."

Phillip's eyes get big. He faces his mom angrily. "Is that true? You were so excited about us getting engaged. You've been pushing us to plan the wedding."

She sighs. "I was, yes."

"And now you're not?"

"I'm just concerned, Philip. We heard about Cancun. How she pushed you away. How she's never had a serious relationship."

"I haven't had a serious relationship either. And you know why that is," Phillip says sternly.

Phillip is pissed. I like it.

He's standing up to his mom for me. It makes me love him more, which I didn't think was possible.

"She went through a lot with her parents' death. I don't think she ever dealt with it. I love you both. I want your marriage to work. That's why I talked to him."

"She is me," I say. "Don't talk like I'm not here. I did deal with my parents' death, and if anyone knows that, it's Phillip. He's always been there for me. And just for the record, I don't feel like my parents abandoned me."

Phillip stands up quickly and glares at his mom and dad. "Did you say that? That her parents abandoned her?"

Phillip's dad says, "We would never say that."

"Pastor John suggested it. Suggested that I have abandonment issues. Maybe your mom is right, Phillip. Maybe I'm screwed up, and you shouldn't marry me. Which is fine, then I won't have to deal with all this bullshit."

I get up.

I want to run. Run away. Run home. Hide under my blanket.

Phillip pulls me into his arms and looks straight into my eyes. "We're getting married, Princess. Whenever we want, however we want. I don't care what anyone thinks. If my parents don't want to be supportive, then we'll go to Vegas or some beach and get married by ourselves." He turns to his parents. "Do you want to be part of our wedding?"

"Yes," his mom says.

"Then remember it's our wedding, our life. We make the decisions. I'm not putting up with this shit."

His dad says, "Phillip, calm down. We get it."

Phillip sits down, pulls me onto his lap, and wipes a few stray tears from my face. I tried to hold them in, but I lost the fight. A few managed to sneak out.

"You still okay with moving up the wedding?"

I kiss his cheek. "Yes."

I can't wait to be Phillip's wife.

I really can't wait.

His dad says, "So December or January it is. Your parents got married in January, JJ. That's kinda cool, huh?"

"I kind of forgot that. You're right though, it is cool."

Mr. Mac gets down a picture of my parents' wedding day from the family room shelves and hands it to me. Mr. Mac is the best man. My dad looks so young and handsome. My mom was a beautiful beaming bride.

We didn't stay long after dinner. Phillip always tries to protect me, even from his own family. I'm sitting on the couch, leaning on his shoulder, and watching Sunday Night Football. My mind flits back to the picture of my parents' wedding. I get up quickly, run into the guest bedroom, flip open Mom's hope chest, and dig out their wedding album.

If I'm going to get married near their anniversary, maybe I could find something. I'm not even sure, some little detail from their wedding that I could incorporate into mine. A way to honor them and a way to inspire me.

I take the album with me and plop down next to Phillip. We flip through the pages together.

The first time I flip through, all I really notice are their faces. How young and happy and so in love they looked.

Those faces that I miss so much.

I lose the fight with more tears. They trickle gently down my face. I wipe them away quickly, so Phillip doesn't notice.

When I flip through the second time, I start to see details. The way mom's dress fit her perfectly. Her pale pastel flowers.

I turn another page and see the bridesmaids all lined up. Their dresses had fitted black velvet tops with full purple taffeta skirts.

"Phillip, purple was my mom's favorite color."

"It's one of your favorite colors too," he says, but my mind is racing. I'm picturing the menu card we saved. The black and white damask, the black scrolly lettering, the deep purple accents.

I get up, run to the huge stack of bridal magazines stacked in the corner of the dining room, and flip through page after page of pictures until I find it.

I run the picture over to Phillip. "Look at this dress. I thought it would be such a cute bridesmaid's dress." I point to an adorable strapless dress. The ruching across the bust line meets in the center to form a fabric flower, and then it falls into soft pleats from a babydoll waistline. "It would be perfect to hide Lori's little bump, and look at the gorgeous icy pale purple color. What do you think?"

"I think the dress is cute. So are we going with purple?"

"Yes, black, white, and purple. I think Katie was right. Pick a color, pick a few details, and everything will start falling into place."

When I put the wedding album away, I see our holiday photo album. It's full of just holiday photos from each year, starting when I was a baby.

I look through the photos, and my eyes tear up again. What the hell has being engaged done to me? Why can't I control the tears anymore?

I see photos of me as a baby. Of me and Phillip visiting Santa. Me bawling. I never liked to visit Santa. He still kinda scares me.

And then I see it. A photo of Phillip and I, when we were both seven, in front of a fountain in Kansas City. The Country Club Plaza Lights are shining all around us.

My family, Phillip's family, and sometimes, the Diamonds, would kick off the holiday season with a trip to shop and see the Plaza Lights.

Phillip and I never liked to shop much. We would spend most of our weekend running back and forth between the pool and our hotel room. We'd swim, order pizza, and watch pay-per-view movies.

I see another photo of Phillip and I in front of the same big fountain. We're older in this one, about fourteen. I know because that was the last Christmas I was taller than him. He has a big grin on his face and is making bunny ears behind my head. I look irritated. I remember threatening to knock him into the fountain if he didn't stop poking me and putting ears behind my head.

There are more pictures of all the gorgeous Christmas lights. I always loved seeing the lights. Walking from the hotel to dinner was so pretty. When I was little, I used to think the Plaza Lights were practically magical.

Heck, who am I kidding? I still do.

I run back to the couch and shove the photo album onto Phillip's lap. "Phillip, look at all of this!!! Remember this? All those yearly trips?"

"Yeah," he says, "we didn't go much in college. We should go this year."

A crazy idea has been forming in my head. Actually, it's not crazy, it's perfect. "Phillip, what would you think about getting married in Kansas City, maybe in early January, while the lights are still up?"

I can tell by Phillip's face that he likes the idea, but his brain is trying to work out the logistics of it all. He finally says, "Princess, I think it would be perfect. Just like you."

I forget exactly what he did then. Ran his hand through my hair and started rubbing my back, I think. But next thing I know, I'm in bed with very little on my body and only one thing on my mind.

We came to Kansas City yesterday to look at commercial real estate, fill Lori and Danny in on all the good news, and to enlist Lori's help in finding a venue.

The first thing Lori asked me this morning was if I had a budget.

"Shit, I hadn't thought of that. I was just trying to come up with ideas."

"You need to figure that out first. I would think a big formal wedding like what you want would be pretty pricey."

"I have money in my trust."

"I thought you don't get control of your trust until you're twenty-five?"

"I don't. I got a good portion of it right away, but I put most of it back in the trust. I only kept enough to pay for college and stuff. I'll talk to Mr. D about it. We want a big wedding. My parents loved a good party. They'd want me to do it up right."

"So money's no object?"

"Yes, it's an object, silly. I'll have a budget, but I'm sure that budget will include the ballroom wedding that I'm envisioning. I'm so excited, Lori, and I'm so glad you're helping me!"

We start by scouring the internet for possible places to hold the ceremony and reception.

By the time Danny took Phillip to practice with him this afternoon, we had a long list of places to call and got busy on the phones.

I call the places on my list.

One by one, I cross them off the list.

Booked.

Booked.

Booked, booked, and more booked.

Lots of the places I call don't even answer, so I leave them all the same message.

Hi! This is Jadyn Reynolds. I'm calling, hoping you might have your ballroom /art museum / rooftop ballroom / loft / castle / party room / hovel / dive / shack / hole-in-the-wall available for a weekend in January. Please call me back at blah blah blah – blah blah blah blah.

I've called twenty-seven places and have either left messages, got told no, or got laughed at.

Seriously. A couple places literally laughed at me. We've been booked up for a year, one woman said haughtily.

I think it may be hopeless.

Lori comes back in from the kitchen. I can tell by the look on her face that her calls haven't gone any better. "Everywhere I've called has been booked. I even started tossing around the Danny Diamond name, and it hasn't done any good."

"Maybe we'll have the wedding at your house?"

"In January? Uh, I don't think so."

"We may have to have it in a tent on the empty lot next to the Diamond's house. Can you imagine that in January? Our guests would be frozen solid."

Lori giggles. "They could be both wedding guests and ice sculptures."

We laugh about it although I kinda feel like crying. I finally felt like I had it right.

It would be perfect.

I really could picture it in my mind.

A big ballroom overlooking the Plaza Lights. The ceremony would be mostly white with touches of the icy purple color. The cocktail hour would have great appetizers and a cool signature drink. There would be a fancy dinner in a chandelier lit room. The tables would have an icy feel with those white tree centerpieces we saw. There would be cool purple uplighting and lots of candlelight. After dinner, there would be dancing and a lounge area. The colors would get bolder. Black, white, and a deep rich purple.

Even though I still don't have a dress, I sorta thought I had it all figured out.

Maybe we'll end up in Vegas. After the fake Elvis marries us, we could sneak into one of the big hotel ballrooms and pretend that's where we got married.

Or maybe we could forget about romance and embrace the whole XXX wedding theme. Fake Elvis could marry us in a strip club. Strippers could jump out of the wedding cake. I could wear a white thong and dance around a pole for my first dance. I could have strippers as my attendants.

Speaking of attendants, I even showed Lori the picture of the bridesmaids dress. She thought it was adorable and loved the color.

A few weeks ago, I didn't have a clue what I wanted. Now that I have great ideas, I don't have anywhere to have it.

I'm depressed.

Phillip has a meeting first thing in the morning, so we drove back home late. We were both exhausted and fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow.

It's January. Snow is whipping through the sky. The wind is howling through the trees. It's about ten degrees outside, and we're having our wedding in a tent in the empty lot next to the Diamond's house. We have a whole bunch of heaters in the tent as we're trying to keep people from getting frostbite.

Phillip and I are cutting the cake when one of the heaters falls over and catches the tent on fire.

Pretty soon, my wedding guests are on fire.

People's faces are burning off in front of me.

Phillip runs up to me, his face on fire.

His face melts off like wax, but underneath the wax is Phillip's perfect face.

Which is really freaky.

I scream in my dream and wake up.

I wanna wake up Phillip and talk to him, but I know how tired he was.

Instead, I decide to pray.

When I was a little girl, my mom and I always used to say my prayers together before I went to sleep.

Since my parents are now in heaven with God, I'm not really sure who I'm exactly talking to when I pray.

Yes, I pray to God, but I also pray/talk to my parents. I figure they're up there with Him. I don't know, it's like I need guidance sometimes, and it helps me to just talk to them.

Or to God.

Or to anyone who would like to help me is who I really hope is listening.

So I pray.

Even fold my hands like when I was little.

I ask God to help me figure out a wedding.

I ask my parents for guidance.

I ask my mom how in the hell did she plan her wedding without going insane?

No one answers me though, and eventually, I fall back to sleep.

I called Mr. Diamond, told him about the wedding, and that I needed to talk to him about how to pay for it. We agreed to meet for drinks.

Mr. D has handled my trust and helped me with all the financial decisions I've had to make since my parents passed away. He's also treated me like the daughter he never had, and I don't know what I'd do without him.

When I get to his favorite upscale restaurant's bar, he's already there waiting for me.

He has a glass of scotch sitting in front of him, but as usual, he hasn't touched it. There's a glass of deep red wine sitting across from him.

"JJ, look at you." He stands up, kisses my cheek, and gives me a fatherly hug. "I don't think I've ever seen you look so happy."

"I don't think I've ever been this happy."

"Well, it's good to see. So I ordered you a Pinot Noir this time. It's red, but it's pretty smooth. I think you're ready for it."

Mr. D has been teaching me about wine. Getting me to try new things. Like wine that doesn't come out of a box. We started with whites, now we're working on reds.

He raises his glass, the way he always does when it's just the two of us, and says, "To your parents."

I take a sip of the wine and find it is very smooth. "Wow, this is pretty good. I like this one."

He smiles at me. He looks a lot like Danny when he smiles. It's not his mouth really, more the way his eyes crinkle up. "I'm glad you like it, and I'm glad you're happy. My job though is to consider your financial future. You and Phillip may be perfect for each other now, but you can't foresee the future. We're going to have Phillip sign a prenuptial agreement."

"No, we're not. He'd be offended by that."

"I don't think he'll be offended, honey. Phillip's a strong man. He'll want to earn his own money. He'll agree to it, don't worry."

He gets a big grin. "So I have a confession. There were some extra funds that we had from a small account and instead of adding them to the basic safe funds we put everything else in, I invested this in a more risky portfolio. You kids were buying mac computers and Apple seemed like the wave of the future, and then with the iphones and ipads, well, let's just say the little fund has done extremely well. I want you to use that money for your wedding. Your parents loved a good party. They would've wanted you to do it up big, and with this amount, you should be able to do just that."

I look at the printout he sets in front of me and am stunned by the amount. "Are you sure I should spend all this on a wedding?"

"I think you should. Of course, it's your money. You don't have to spend it, but I really believe it's what your parents would want. Your dad used to talk about how he would surely cry when you got married. How he couldn't wait to walk you down the aisle someday. Well, providing you wanted to marry a good man. He planned on scaring off anyone he didn't think was good enough." He chuckles. "I think you know how he felt about Phillip. Your dad would be thrilled."

I smile at him. My eyes fill up with tears. It makes me feel good to hear him say that my dad would be happy I'm marrying Phillip. All I've ever wanted is to make my parents proud.

"Honey, I didn't mean to make you sad. I know the Mackenzies are great, but I'm sure you're wishing your parents were here with you for this."

"I really do. Honestly, that's why I was dragging my feet about planning at first. It just didn't feel right to plan it without them."

He covers my hand with his. "They're with you, JJ. You know they are, and so am I."

He takes a big drink then slowly puts his glass down. "However, there's something important I need to talk to you about."

I tilt my head, look at him, and try and figure out what else there is. Based on the tone of his voice, I think I heard the good news first. "Okay."

He points to the printout. "I'm holding this money hostage."

"What do you mean?"

"Your parents put me in charge of your trust for a reason. They wanted me to help you make good decisions. I take that job very seriously."

"I know you do." I wanna ask him to walk me down the aisle, but I think I need to solve this hostage situation first.

He hands me another piece of paper. "This is the money you currently have control of. It's what's left after paying for college, buying your car, and the downpayment on your condo. You recall, you had more than this, but put it back in the trust. So this is the available cash you have left until you turn twenty-five and gain full control."

"I know, but I thought you had discretion. Like I thought you could take money out of the trust for me if you thought it was necessary. I assumed that's how we'd pay for the wedding, right?"

"That is right. I have discretion. What you have in your control is a lot of money, but I don't think it will cover your dream wedding. And if you did use it for that, you'd probably have nothing else left."

"Right. That's why you're letting me use some of the trust money."

"Well, I might be."

"You might be?"

"Remember, I said I'm holding the wedding money hostage?"

"Uh, yeah."

"I heard that you don't want Pastor John to marry you. That you've refused to go to couple's counseling."

"Well, yeah. He wasn't very nice to me. There's no way I'm letting him marry us."

"The Mackenzies are very adamant about having him marry you. They feel your parents would've wanted it."

I tilt my head and look at him. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"When my parents died, did you think I needed counseling, or did you think I handled it well?"

He thinks about it for a second and straightens the napkin under his drink. "Maybe both. I think we were all shocked at how well you seemed to handle it. We kept wondering when you were going to breakdown. We worried that you were holding it all in. Not allowing yourself to grieve."

"I didn't hold it all in. The night of the funeral after everyone left, I went back to my house and lost it. Cried my eyes out. Phillip was there. He knows."

"What about after that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Danny says you never let yourself cry. That you hold it all in. That's not normal, honey. You're supposed to cry."

I shake my head at him. "Not me. I just suck it up. Although, I did cry on stage when we got engaged, so you can't say I never cry."

"Okay, is it true that you've never visited their grave? Not once?"

His comment makes me feel really guilty, especially since he's looking at me in a way that makes me know he thinks I should have. Like I've been a bad daughter for not going. "Yeah," I say, "but I don't go there because I don't believe they're there. I believe they're in heaven."

Plus.

I can't go back there.

Thinking of their bodies buried in the dirt.

Um, no. Not going there.

EVER.

"What about hospitals? Is it also true that you didn't visit your best friend, Lori, when she had her appendix out?"

I start to fidget. I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about all this. I try to explain myself. "Um, it's true, but I had a test, and Lori was home the next day. I visited her there."

He nods his head at me. I can tell he sees right through me.

And I did kinda lie to everyone about the test.

I hate hospitals.

Nothing good happens there, at least for me, and I didn't wanna like jinx her.

He smiles at me. "I'll always worry about you, you know?"

"I know, and I really appreciate it. Appreciate everything you've always done for me."

His smile turns to a grimace. "You may not feel that way after I tell you this. I agree that you should choose who marries you, but I'm going to insist you go to couple's counseling. All of us go through it. It's really a good thing. I know you and Phillip get along well, but being a couple is different from being friends. There are a lot of issues to deal with as a married couple. Marriage counseling helps prepare you for that. You're moving very fast, and I'm sure there are things you and Phillip have never discussed before, like money, budgets, life goals, how many kids you want, how to handle conflicts, things like that. So if you chose to go through couple's counseling with Pastor John, you can send me all the bills for the wedding. If you choose not to, then you'll have to pay for it on your own. I'm sorry if he upset you, honey, but I really believe your parents would agree with me on this."

"Did the Macs tell you that Pastor John said my parents abandoned me, and that's why I'm mad?"

"I heard that he asked if you ever felt abandoned. There's a big difference between the two."

I can't talk about this. I won't talk about it. There is no way in hell that I'm ever going to talk to Pastor John again, but I adore Mr. D. I won't be disrespectful. He's done too much for me, and I know he's been brainwashed by the Macs into thinking this is in my best interests.

I give him my best puppy dog eyes. They used to work on my dad when I was little. They probably won't work on him, but they can't hurt. "I'll talk to Phillip about it, but I'm pretty sure I'll be having a very small wedding now. Thanks for the wine."

I was fairly calm when I left the restaurant, but by the time I get home, I'm fuming.

I'm trying to figure out if I can sue him, fight him. I want the big wedding. I think he's right that my parents would want it. It's not his money, it's mine. Who does he think he is? And why was I so stupid? Why at eighteen did I tell them I didn't need that much money? Why did I let them put it back in the trust? What was I thinking?

That's it. I wasn't thinking.

My parents had just died.

I was under stress.

Or duress.

Or whatever it's called when you don't make the right decisions because you're temporarily not thinking straight. I'll hire a lawyer. I'll.......

I storm into the house and throw my purse against the wall.

Phillip's sitting on the couch. He looks at me with concern. "What's wrong?"

I plop on the couch next to him. "We're....we can't.....I don't......he said......" Then I start crying. I tell him how we had our dream wedding planned. How I can't afford it now. How it probably doesn't matter because we have nowhere to have the dream wedding anyway. How I just wanna go to Vegas, have strippers for bridesmaids, and get married by Elvis. How it will just be me and Phillip. How we're not doing couple's counseling. How everyone should just mind their own fucking business. How I'm glad we're moving, so we don't have to go to any more stupid Sunday dinners.

Phillip holds me and lightly pats my back. I'm sure he wonders what the hell, but he never lets on.

"We'll figure something out, Princess. Don't worry," is all he says.

But it's enough.

Phillip always knows exactly what to say.

I lay my head on his shoulder and stop worrying. Phillip has that affect on me. He calms me down. I know we'll figure out something together.