Текст книги "That Wedding"

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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Текущая страница: 22 (всего у книги 25 страниц)

Last night, Phillip held my face in his hands and looked me straight in the eyes. It was a little unnerving at first, but then he would kiss me, and run his hands through my hair, and tell me over and over how much he loved me.

And I wouldn't say we had sex. I wouldn't say we had make up sex. I would say for the first time in my life, I really understand the difference between having sex and making love.

Because I'm pretty sure that's what we did.

Like pretty much all night.

Slow, tender, amazing.

Phillip walks into the bedroom, coffee cups in hand.

He grins at me. "I love what you're wearing."

"Phillip, I'm pretty sure I'm not wearing a damn thing." I can't help but laugh.

Cuz I'm completely naked.

Shame on me.

He gently puts his finger on mine and tips my left hand up, so I can see that he snuck the engagement ring back on my finger while I was sleeping.

I smile what may be the biggest smile of my life. "I like what I'm wearing too."

He sits on the bed next to me and holds my hand up. "I want you to take a good look at this ring. This ring has nothing to do with the wedding, nothing to do with our commitments, none of that. This ring means one thing. That I love you. Promise me that no matter what, no matter if we fight, no matter how hopeless things may feel, that you will look at this ring and know that when you love someone, that's all that really matters. That we'll always figure it out together."

"I promise," I whisper as I pull him back into bed with me.

We walk into Pastor John's office. I squeeze Phillip's hand tightly. I'm gearing up mentally for a big fight.

We don't sit down in his stupid chairs. We stand in front of his desk and rapidly take turns telling him all the reasons why we don't give a shit what he or anyone else thinks.

"We know all our answers are different," Phillip says as he tosses our questionnaires on his desk.

"And we know we solve our conflicts with sex," I say.

"And we know we spend too much time together."

"And we know we're not perfect. We might even be a little messed up."

"But when you put us together, we're a perfect match," Phillip says.

"And we love each other," I say. "Deeply and passionately. And we don't care what you or anyone else thinks. We're getting married."

Pastor John leans back in his chair and claps his hands slowly three times. "Bravo. Bravo."

I'm instantly pissed. "Bravo?"

"This isn't an act. We're serious," Phillip says. He's pissed too.

"I know you are," Pastor replies. "And don't move. I want you both to remember this moment forever. How it feels. The two of you. Hand in hand. Fighting against something you think is trying to tear you apart. I was playing devil's advocate a bit. And honestly, after last week, the way you argued, your body language, I didn't think you'd make it. Thought you'd call off the wedding. What you're going to face in life is going to be a whole lot harder than facing what you did with me. My job is to try and prepare you for that. I remember your parents' funeral, JJ. It was the hardest one I'd ever done in my career. I was the same age as your parents, and fresh out of school when I married yours, Phillip. I'd become friends with them. Watched you both grow. They were so proud of you both. I didn't think I was going to make it through the service, but I looked out and saw you, JJ, standing there in the pew. Your eyes were dry. Your chin was up. I saw such strength. I wondered what your parents did that made you so strong at such a young age. But then I noticed you were holding Phillip's hand tightly, just like you are now, and I knew where all that strength came from. It's from each other. You get strength from each other. Whatever you face in life, I hope you face it like you are now. Hand in hand. United. If you do that, you'll make it. You'll have a wonderful marriage."

I turn my head into Phillip's chest and cry with relief.

"It'd also be my extreme honor to marry you." Pastor grins at us and holds up our save the date card. "I mean, you did give me an STD a couple months ago, you kinda owe me."

I squeeze Phillip's side, and we can't help it. We both start laughing.

I wake up with a start. I look at the clock. It's almost seven, so I wake Phillip up. "Phillip, I'm not sure we should go on our honeymoon. I'm pretty soon the plane is gonna crash."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I just had this dream, and it was horrible."

He doesn't even roll his eyes. "Tell me about it."

"Okay, so we're already married, and all our wedding guests are on an airplane with us. I'm in my wedding dress, and you're in your tux. We're in the cockpit of the plane. You were flying."

"Sweet."

"I take that back, you were not flying. You were crashing."

"Well then, I promise not to fly or crash the plane on our honeymoon."

"What if it's a warning? Like a premonition?"

"I'm gonna be glad when we're finally married, so you can stop with the disaster dreams. And hopefully if that's the case, we crash on the way back from the honeymoon."

He smirks at me, and I playfully smack his arm. "Phillip, that's not funny!"

"Okay, fine. If all our wedding guests were on the plane, we couldn't have been going on our honeymoon anyway."

"Oh my gosh, Phillip. I didn't think of that. What could that mean?"

"Did we actually crash and die?"

"What? I don't know. I woke up when we were getting ready to crash, but no, we hadn't hit yet."

"You just didn't see the end of the dream then. I know what happened."

"No, you don't."

"I do. I took control of the plane, pulled up the steering wheel, and safely landed it. The wedding is going to be brilliant, and our honeymoon is going to be like a fantasy."

"I'm pretty sure it didn't end that way."

"My mom used to tell me when I had bad dreams that the ideas were coming from my brain, and if it was scary, I should just use my mind to change the dream. Like all those scary awful ones I used to have where you would attack me." He pretend shudders, so I make a sad face.

"What's with all the dreams?"

"I don't know, I've had vivid dreams my entire life. I guess the good news is they've moved from wedding disasters to honeymoon disasters."

"Our honeymoon is going to be amazing. You in nothing but some skimpy bikinis and some sexy lingerie all week sounds like heaven to me."

"You suck. Why won't you tell me where we're going?"

"Because I wanna surprise you. If I tell you, you'll look at it on the internet and know what to expect. Trust me. It's practically paradise. So hey, speaking of dreams. You ever have any about me?"

"Maybe a few."

"Tell me." He's holding my hand and slowly twisting his fingers through mine. It's like he can't be near me without touching some part of me.

"Remember that night I was out with Mark and whined to you while sitting on the kitchen island? I had a dream that when he brought me home, he turned into this werewolf/vampire creature. I don't remember, but it was scary. You saved me. Opened up the car door, stabbed him, and drug me safely away."

"Sounds a lot like real life. I was always rescuing you for some reason or other."

"Yeah, but unlike real life, after I was safe, I kissed you."

"Now this is getting better."

"Not really. I think it's like an unwritten princess contract of some kind that after you're rescued by a prince, you have to kiss him."

"I think you were just hot for me."

"Ask any little girl, and they'll tell you. It's in every Disney movie. You get rescued, you pay him with a kiss."

"Well that sucks."

"I might have had another one that I had, um, quite often actually."

"Is it a good one?"

"I think so. Remember that flag bikini day when our feet got accidentally tangled up, and we both fell down?"

"Of course, I remember it; however, you tripped me on purpose. Admit it." He tickles me.

"I will say that it was a planned accidental entanglement of our limbs."

"You're such a liar."

"Regardless of how we fell, remember how you rolled me over, sat on top of me, then leaned down to yell at me?"

"Like this?" Phillip rolls on top of me and leans down close to my face.

"Yeah. Only when you leaned in, you kissed me."

Phillip leans down and kisses me. A lot. Eventually, he stops. "Then what?"

"Then you kissed my entire body, took off my bikini, and we kinda did it right there in the grass."

"See, I knew you wanted me all along." Phillip pulls off my nightie and kisses down my body.

"Well, no. In the dream, you wanted me. You know, that was the first time I ever did that, like in a dream."

"I was your first sexual dream partner. What an honor," Phillip teases.

"I should tell you I didn't like the dream."

"Why not?"

"I felt very conflicted about it. I liked the dream, but then, you know, you were kinda like a brother to me. It felt a little wrong."

"But you kept having the dream?"

"Yeah. And I kept wanting to have the dream, which is even worse."

"You should've just attacked me."

"Maybe I was waiting for you to attack me. Like you did in my dream."

"You're right, I should have." He kisses down my neck. "I'll try to make it up to you."

Lots of people have been arriving at the hotel today, and we have fun welcome bags waiting in each room. I love the bags. They are adorable creamy colored totes with our wedding monogram printed on them. Inside the bag is a map of the Plaza, the weekend itinerary, water bottles, a Chiefs pennant, cookies, nuts, cheese and crackers, and chocolate truffles. Also waiting in each room is a bucket of locally brewed Boulevard beer.

I've already eaten the truffles out of my bag, and Joey and Nick quickly robbed me of my beer. The rehearsal went well and was followed by a casual barbecue dinner for everyone in town. There were lots of toasts, and we gave our wedding party their gifts. The guys went crazy over their custom Nikes and are beyond excited they don't have to wear the shoes that came with their tuxedos.

Phillip and I are on one of the trollies his parents rented to take people on a tour of the Plaza Lights. The Country Club Plaza is pretty anytime of the year, but it is amazing during the holidays. It was one of the first shopping centers in the country and was modeled after Seville, Spain, so the buildings have great architectural details. Like beautiful Spanish domes, towers, arches, and columns. The Plaza Lights are eighty miles worth of lights that highlight those architectural features.

I snuggle into Phillip's arm. "It's really breathtaking, isn't it?"

Phillip looks straight at me, ignores the lights, and says, "You are."

"Phillip, I mean the lights, silly. I'm so glad I looked through that holiday album, and we decided to get married here. It feels practically magical."

He nods his head, pulls me closer to him, and kisses the top of my head. "Our whole wedding is going to be magical, Princess."

After the trolley ride, we headed back to the hospitality suite, where we're serving warm gingersnaps and adorable snowflake shaped sugar cookies. There's a coffee and hot chocolate bar to compliment the cookies, and Phillip's mom also decided to serve her son's favorite gingerbread martinis as well as the chocolate peppermint martini I loved.

Just when it feels like the party's getting started, and I've enjoyed a couple tasty martinis, Amy says to me, "It's the bride's bedtime."

"Really? It's only like ten-thirty!"

"You want to look gorgeous on your wedding day, am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I can party tomorrow."

"Exactly." She turns to Phillip and says, "That goes for the groom too."

Phillip says, "No problem. I'll walk her to her room, make sure she's a good girl."

The way Phillip slides his hand slowly down my back, I doubt that his version of me being a good girl and Amy's are the same, but either way, I'm pretty sure I'll be in bed soon.

Outside my hotel room, Phillip says, "So, tomorrow is the big day."

I smile big. Again. I think my mouth has been in a permanent grin all day. "Can you believe it's finally here! I can't wait for you to see my dress. I hope you love it as much as I do."

"I'm sure I'll love it. I mean, I love you." He leans one hand against the door above my shoulder. It reminds me of how he used to lean against my locker when he had a secret to tell me.

I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. "Goodnight."

He gives me a long sweet kiss. I can tell he doesn't want to go, but we're supposed to, right? Like everyone says we're not supposed to spend the night together before our wedding day.

"Make sure you don't let the guys talk you into partying with them tonight. I want you looking all handsome tomorrow."

"I didn't tell them my room number. They'd be banging on my door all night." He touches my face and looks lovingly into my eyes. "Good night, Princess."

I shut my door, wishing I would've invited him in. I mean, I don't really require that much sleep, and I usually only get baggy eyes when I'm hungover. Which I obviously won't be.

I'll call him and tell him to come back down.

But first, I wanna change into some comfy yoga pants and finish up a couple things.

A few minutes later, there's a knock on my door. I look out the peephole and see Phillip's adorable face. I open the door and quickly let him in.

"What are you doing?" he asks, pointing to the purple permanent marker I'm still holding in my hand.

I look down at the marker I forgot I was holding. "Oh, I just finished writing on the bottom of my wedding shoes."

"Why are you writing on your shoes?"

"It's kinda like in high school when you'd write math formulas up your arms before a test. You know, so you wouldn't forget. I'm writing on the bottom of my shoes, so I don't forget."

He squints his eyes at me in confusion. "Show me."

I flip up my purple satin pumps and show him where I wrote, i do!

He laughs at me. "It's your wedding. Do you think you'll forget that part?"

"I don't know. Maybe," I tease. "So what are you doing back down here? I thought you were supposed to be getting your beauty sleep."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to check on you. Are you nervous? Do you have cold feet?"

"Nope, I put on the socks you gave me." I point down at my fuzzy socks. "I'm all good."

"Have you had anymore bad dreams you haven't told me about?"

"No, but I have been thinking a lot about my parents." I tilt my head at him. "Phillip, do you think they'd be proud of me now?"

He pulls me into his arms and looks at me sweetly. "I know they'd be proud of you. You're learning about life, about love, and you're playing the hand that was dealt to you the best that you can."

"It took me a long time to figure things out. I think I'm finally dealing with it. With losing them. I still can't believe I stood up at their funeral and preached about appreciating what you have, and I didn't do it myself."

"Irony, right?"

"Yeah, and it's only taken me four years to figure it out."

"At least you realized it. Speaking of that, do you realize this is your last night as Jadyn Reynolds?"

I pull him down onto the bed with me. "Jadyn Mackenzie. I'm not sure I like the sound of that. I might have to keep my name." I slowly slide my hands down his sides.

He grabs my hands tightly. "No sex."

"What do you mean, no sex?"

"No sex if you keep your name." I struggle and try to free my hands. Phillip has a smart ass grin on his face. He loves being stronger than me. He might be stronger, but I'm pretty sure I'm smarter. I lean my face into his shoulder, like I'm going to kiss it, but bite it instead. It didn't hurt him, but it startled him enough that I'm able to get one of my hands free.

I run that hand down the front of his jeans. "You drive a hard bargain." I press down a little firmer on his jeans. "Get it? A hard bargain."

He laughs. "You're bad. Is it bad that I want to?"

"I don't think it's bad at all. I want to too. But before we get to that, can I read you the poem I wrote for the service tomorrow? Like Lori's gonna read it, but I kinda wanted you to hear it from me first."

Phillip smiles. That smile that makes me melt. "I'd love that."

I grab the poem out of my bag and sit cross legged on the bed facing him.

My eyes get teary as I read to him.

Phillip does that to me. He makes me cry. I remember one night in high school when Katie was crying because her and Neil broke up, Lisa found some quote. It was something like, No boy is worth your tears, but once you find the one that is, he won't make you cry. I've decided that quote is wrong. Phillip makes me cry. I cried about him on the beach in Cancun. I cried about him the night I said yes. Phillip has been chipping away at the hard exterior I put around my heart since my parents died. I hadn't let myself cry, and I wasn't letting myself feel much either. I locked all my feelings away. Kept them balled up inside of me. I didn't want to feel anything for anyone because I knew how much it hurts when you lose them.

But Phillip's love got through.

Straight through to my heart.

I feel free now.

Free to feel, free to cry, and free to live my life. And the tears I've been crying haven't been sad tears, they've been happy ones. I'm so happy with Phillip, I can hardly believe it.

Phillip gazed into my eyes the whole time I read. I say a silent prayer that if I'm lucky enough to see those brown eyes every day, I will have lived an amazing life.

Phillip pulls me into his chest and hugs me. "That's amazing, Princess, really. I can't believe you wrote it."

"Well, it's kinda amazing what comes out of you when you start to feel again. Somehow, this whole process, from the planning to the stupid counseling, has helped me feel again. I can't thank you enough for putting up with my crap and for helping me get through this. I love you, Phillip. I really do."

"Is there a reason we're not supposed to be together tonight?"

"Well, I think traditionally, it was to protect the bride's virtue. But since I don't really have any virtue left, we don't have to worry about that. It's also supposed to be bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day. You're supposed to wait until you see her walking down the aisle in her dress or whatever."

He gives me sexy grin. "Wasn't it you that said we never listen to anybody?"

"I think that was me." I put my hands on his biceps and give them a little squeeze. "Does that mean I get to wake up in these sexy arms on my wedding day?"

"Most definitely," he says. He gets up, turns off the lights, puts the do not disturb sign on the door, strips down to his boxers, and slides into bed with me. "We'll order room service for breakfast, relax, and I'll sneak out when you go get your hair done. What time is that?"

"My appointment isn't until noon," I say as I happily snuggle up next to him.

Lori bangs on my door at ten-thirty. I'm leaning against Phillip's naked chest while he feeds me bites of pancakes.

I get up, peek my head out the door, and whisper to Lori. "Didn't you see the do not disturb sign? That's kinda like hanging a sock on the door. I have a boy in my bed."

She pushes through the door. "Jade, don't joke about something like that," she says, like I was hooking up with some random stranger on my wedding night.

Her eyes get big when she sees Phillip. "Phillip, what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here!"

"It's not my fault she wanted one last single girl fling."

I slide back in bed to finish breakfast. "Lori, don't act all shocked. I know you and Danny spent the night together before your wedding."

"No, we didn't."

"You left early. Don't act all innocent."

"Okay, so maybe we spent some time together the night before, but he went to a different room to sleep. I didn't want him to see me the morning of the wedding. It's bad luck, you know."

"I think it's good luck. I also think it's a stupid tradition and why some brides call off their weddings at the last minute."

"You think sleeping with them the night before will guard against cold feet?"

"Definitely. When you're all alone the night before your wedding, you have nothing to do but think. To question yourself. Contemplate all the lifetime commitment stuff you're about to say." I give Phillip's thigh a little squeeze. "It's hard to think about cold feet when you've got a hot guy in bed with you."

"Fine, joke all you want."

"I'm not joking at all. I'm dead serious. I'm glad Phillip spent the night with me."

Phillip kisses my cheek, pops the last piece of bacon in his mouth, and gets out of bed. He's only wearing boxers, so he pulls on his jeans, tosses his shirt over a broad shoulder, and picks up his shoes. "I think I better leave you girls to this."

"You're a chicken, you know that, right?" I tell him.

After watching his sexy backside walk out the door, I turn to Lori and say, "You want some food?"

"Are you really doing okay? Like you seem very calm."

"Does that surprise you? I've always been pretty chill about stuff."

Lori rolls her eyes at me and shakes her head. "You used to be chill about everything until you started dating Phillip. Then you got a little dramatic. So is there anything you need? I feel like we should be doing something."

"I'm gonna finish eating and then take a long bath. The hairstylist doesn't want me to wash my hair, so that's all I have to do."

"You seem too calm. It's kinda scaring me."

"Lori, I wanna marry Phillip more than anything. I'm excited, happy, and incredibly blessed. I found a man that is so amazing in bed, it makes me cry." I grab a tissue and dab at fake tears.

She slaps me on the arm. "Jade! Do you ever take anything seriously?"

"Yes, actually I do. In all seriousness, I'm seriously blessed. Like he's amazing. Last night...."

"Okay, I give up. You're calm. Danny sent me down here early because he was worried you'd be freaking out."

"You don't need to babysit me. I'm not going anywhere. I didn't even have any bad dreams last night." I grab a ceremony program off the nightstand and toss it toward her. "Take a look at this."

She watches it float down to the ground, and as she's leaning down to pick it up, she says, "What's this?"

"The ceremony program."

She looks at the front of it. The black and white brocade print. The purple trim. Our wedding monogram. She turns it over, flips it open, then closes it. "It's pretty."

I smile. "No, you need to read it."

"Why? I know everyone."

"Fine, there's something I need to tell you. If you'd read the program, you'd see that you're not my matron of honor."

She puts her hand to her chest and cries out, "What did I do wrong?"

"No, silly. I mean we're not calling you matron of honor."

"Oh, you scared me, and Jade, I'm so sorry. You didn't have to do that. It was so selfish of me to want to change your wedding."

"Well, I looked up the word matron in the thesaurus for a different word to use. The synonyms were even worse. Words like biddy, dowager, dame. So then I decided fuck tradition. I searched the internet and found that other people felt the same way. I found lots of ideas. A nice one was treasured friend, but I thought that sounded like we were fifty-year-olds. There was honor attendant, lady of honor, best woman, chick of honor, goddess of honor, my home girl, and the bride's babe."

She puts a hand up to her mouth to hide her giggles. "Oh, that sounds like we're having an affair!"

"Scandalous, right? What about executive vice president in charge of bridal affairs?"

"That sounds like you're having affairs, and I'm in charge of them!"

"That'd make you my pimpppp!!!" I laugh, but then I get serious. "So, read it."

She opens the program and reads from it. "Lori Diamond, HOTASS BEST FRIEND."

She chuckles. "Very funny. Did you have this program made just for me?"

"No, that's the actual program. Ask Amy."

She looks down and reads more. "The bridesmaids are THE HOTTIES? Danny is the HOTABS BEST FRIEND? And the groomsmen are THE ABBIES? Ohmigawd, Jade, only you could write ass in your wedding program and get away with it!"

"Nobody reads them anyway. I think it's awesome!"

"I think you're crazy!"

I start to tear up for real. "You're my best friend, you know that, right? Danny and I will always be tight, but you really are like a sister to me."

She gets tears in her eyes too and gives me a big hug.