Текст книги "Bad Romance"

Автор книги: Jen McLaughlin

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

She struggled to her feet, and it took all my control not to help her.

If I touched her again…

Yeah, we all knew what would happen.

“I can move out.” I dropped my hands to my sides, fisting them. “I should move out.”

“No. Please, don’t.” She frowned, stepping back and hugging herself. “That whole thing…that was on me. It won’t happen again.”

I should have gone. But the fact that I’d messed up even more made me want to stay. To prove I could do this. Be the man I was supposed to be, for her, without fucking it up.

In a way, I had to prove it to myself, too.

So I wasn’t going anywhere.

“You’re damn right it won’t happen again,” I said quietly, shame churning in my stomach. The shame at my behavior, and the fact that I hadn’t even lasted one damn night before messing up, made me short with her. “This isn’t happening. I’m not repeating history. You and me? We don’t work. We both know it.”

She frowned. “Jackson—”

“No,” I said a little too loudly, rage at myself and my lack of discipline when it came to her blinding me and pumping through my veins, echoing in my head. But I couldn’t take it out on her. She didn’t deserve it. “I’m not doing this to you again. I came here to make amends, not fuck everything up. Just…go.” I locked eyes with her. “Please.”

She swallowed hard, nodded, and walked out, closing the bedroom door behind her with a soft click. I sagged against the wall. I did it. I touched her, and I screwed everything up. And even worse?

I didn’t even regret it.

It shouldn’t have happened. She was all but promised to another man. She might not want to admit it, but I knew Walt well enough to know that he’d get his way in the end. Lilly would marry Derek, whether she wanted it or not. But damn it all to hell, for that short time I held her in my arms, kissing her, I felt as though I belonged somewhere. Ever since I’d been reassigned to a desk job in the army, I’d been lost.

In her arms, I found myself again.

It had been heaven.

My throbbing cock demanded reprieve, so I stalked into the bathroom, closed the door behind me, and turned the shower on. The second I was naked under the hot stream of water, I closed my fist over my cock, squeezing and pulling. Closing out the real world, I rested my forearm on the tile wall and pretended it was Lilly touching me. Pretended it was her fingers running over my hardness, not my own.

I replayed the way her hard nipples had felt under my thumbs, and the way her hot, wet pussy had called to me. Groaning, I tugged harder, my balls tightening to my body, and I let out a soft curse as I came. And when I did, nothing stopped me from groaning out, “Lilly.”

Afterward, I let the water wash over me. I had no idea how long I stood there, staring at the pink-tiled wall, but when I got out and wrapped a pink towel around my waist, I knew one thing. I wasn’t clean.

And I might never be again.

Chapter 8

Lilly

The next evening, I walked out of the corporate Hastings building and shoved my dark shades into place with a less-than-steady hand. It wasn’t even sunny out, but I had to do something to hide the dark circles under my eyes. Sleep had been impossible last night after…well, after. And today all I could think about was Jackson, and that…kiss. Despite being fully dressed, with a few touches and the press of his hips, Jackson managed to give me the best—and apparently first—orgasm in my life.

I thought I knew what it felt like to come. Thought I knew what an orgasm was. Turned out, all I’d felt before was the pleasure. The buildup.

The real thing was so much more.

If I learned nothing else last night, I could take away one thing from that moment when he told me to leave. He might not want to want me, but he did. And that meant I stood a chance, a real chance, at getting through to him. Of making him mine.

I knew Jackson wasn’t the type to commit, or do long-term, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t give in to the passion that had been burning between us for seven years. That we couldn’t finish what we’d started by that pool. I wanted him. He wanted me.

It should have been so easy.

But since he was Jackson, and I was me, it wasn’t.

I felt no shame over my desire for Jackson. No agony or pain over the fact that I shouldn’t want him, but did. Probably because I never really thought of him as my stepbrother. Like, ever. If anything, the desire I felt was empowering. Freeing. Freaking awesome. What happened yesterday showed me that I could do something strictly for me, despite all the reasons I shouldn’t.

And it made me even more determined to find a way out of my pending marriage.

Hugging my purse to my chest, I lowered my head and made my way to my car. Halfway there, someone grabbed my arm. My heart sped up for two point two seconds, because I could tell it was a guy, and for some reason I immediately thought it might be Jackson coming to do a replay of last night, only it’d be more than just a kiss.

It wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t.

It was Derek.

“Where are you heading off to so quickly?” he asked, his tone as unfeeling as my reaction. “I’ve been trying to catch up to you out here for five minutes.”

Seeing as I hadn’t even been outside for that long, I found that hard to believe. But I didn’t correct him. I learned early on in our “relationship” that he didn’t take kindly to being told he was wrong, after I informed him that he was wrong about the chemical properties of sulfur while we were still in college.

He’d stormed off and hadn’t spoken to me for two days.

It had been a great few days.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were coming to the office today. I’m going home. I have to—” I cut off, my mouth falling open, because I finally focused on him. “Oh, my God. Your nose.”

It wasn’t just swollen or bruised. It was broken, judging from the tape and gauze across it. His whole face was shadowed with blues, purples, and yellows, even under his eyes, and a little bit of his eye socket, too. He looked as if he had a run-in with a truck, rather than Jackson’s fist. Or like a child had finger-painted all over his face.

Derek lifted a hand and touched the bandaging, anger adding a splotchy red to his face. I couldn’t look away. It was like a mashed-up rainbow. “If I ever figure out who that guy was, I’ll slap him with a lawsuit so huge, he’ll never crawl out from under the pile of paperwork I’ll bury him under. My portrait is going to be ruined forever.”

I swallowed and let out a nervous sound of agreement, while holding back a laugh. That was what Derek was concerned about. His future painting as CEO of his father’s company. I had bigger things to worry about, though. Because at some point Derek would see Jackson. At some point he would realize the jerk who punched him was living with me and was, in fact, my stepbrother.

Then again, he had been pretty drunk that night. Things had to have been blurry. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize Jackson at all. “Did you have to go to the hospital?”

“Yes. Father took me.”

Okay. It was hard not to roll my eyes at that one. I mean, the man was almost twenty-five, and he still did nothing without running it by his father first. “That’s good.”

“Though he did point out that as my fiancée, you should have been by my side.” He crossed his arms. “Speaking of which, where did you run off to so fast?”

I’m not really your fiancée. “You were drunk, and it seemed as if your buddies had it well in control. So when I saw my stepbrother, I went over to say hi.” I lifted a shoulder. “Plus, you were being a jerk.”

“I’m sorry.” Derek frowned even more, if that was possible. “But I still don’t like some strange guy living with you.”

And I didn’t want to deal with the possibility of being trapped in a loveless marriage while Derek indulged himself with his piece on the side, but sometimes life wasn’t fair. “And I still don’t care,” I said sweetly, smiling at him. “He’s not some strange guy. He’s my stepbrother, so he stays. And no one can know about it. We already went over this. End of discussion.”

He frowned. “We’re getting married. If I don’t want you living with another man, I get a say.”

“Sure you do. But I get to ignore your say.” Just like you ignore mine, and the fact that I never officially said I would marry you. “Tell me, how was your meeting Thursday night?”

He blanched, because we both know he wasn’t actually working on Thursday night. He might not know that I knew…but I did. “F-fine. Why?”

Because I saw you. I know what you were really doing. “No reason. Just curious. I know how much was dependent upon your…meeting.”

“You’re acting strangely.” He stepped closer, frowning and staring at me as if I’d sprouted an extra leg or something equally ridiculous. “What’s gotten into you lately?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly, picturing Jackson’s smile when I said I would try to do stuff for me now. I had meant it. I was finished with being a doormat. If it came to it, I would still marry Derek to save thousands of jobs. But that didn’t mean I had to bend over backward to make him happy. Not when he certainly didn’t reciprocate. “I’m just sick of people telling me what they want me to do. Sick of constantly jumping to attention the second someone looks my way.”

“And this change of heart was brought to us by…?”

“Me.” I lifted my chin. “That’s all I need.”

He snorted. “I think the timing of your newfound independence is awfully coincidental. I also think I know why that is.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Why?”

“Your stepbrother. He moved in last night, didn’t he?”

I fidgeted with my books. “Yeah. And?”

“He saw the fight at the bar and thinks I’m the kind of guy who gets in bar brawls.” Derek’s frown deepened. If he frowned any more, the corners of his lips would touch his jawline. “He doesn’t like me. Maybe he thinks you can do better.”

I choked on the laugh trying to escape. “Uh…”

“No matter. I’ll change his mind.” He shook his head. “But I’m telling you this now: If I sense anything else besides a bad attitude coming from this living arrangement…the merger is off.”

Just like that, the laugh trying to choke me to death died. “Anything like what?”

“He’s not your real brother.” He eyed me, focusing on my low-cut shirt. “Need I elaborate?”

Oh. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not.” He gave me a once-over. “I’m not blind to the fact that you’re an attractive woman. This may be a business arrangement, but I’ll be damned if word spreads that you’re stepping out on me. Especially with your brother. That’s disgusting.”

He dared to tell me to keep my pants on when he’d been doing the exact opposite in a car in the freaking parking lot just a few nights ago? Screw him. “Wait. Hold up.” I lifted a hand. “You don’t get it both ways. He’s not my brother. You just said that.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line. “You know what I mean. Keep it fraternal, not sexual. I don’t want anyone to think I can’t keep my woman satisfied.”

I was so angry, I was practically dizzy from rage. “You’ve never even tried to make this anything more than a business relationship. And now you’re seriously standing here, telling me what I can do with my body?”

His eyes grew cold and flat, and I took a step back before I could catch myself. “Honestly, Lilly, I don’t care who you fuck, but if you do the slightest thing to embarrass me, I will walk away. Thornton Products can always find another distribution company, but without us, Hastings International will be ruined, thousands of people will be out of a job, and it will be. All. Your. Fault.”

With that, he was gone.

Derek meant his parting remarks to be demoralizing, but all I wanted to do was throw my purse at his fat head with all the strength I possessed. Gritting my teeth, I opened my car door, chucked my bag into the passenger seat, and slid into the driver’s seat. Scowling, I hit the steering wheel as hard as I could. “Of all the arrogance…the…the…asshole.”

I trembled with rage. Choked on it.

And then I cradled my hand, because man, that hurt.

But he thought he could throw ultimatums at me, and I wouldn’t care? Thought he could just command me to stay alone, because he was worried about his precious reputation? Oh, if it was only me to worry about, I’d grab Jackson and make out with him in the middle of a frat party. If I had my way, I’d create such a scandal, Derek could move thousands of miles away and still not be able to escape the rumors.

But I couldn’t do that until I found another way to save Daddy’s company.

“Screw him. Screw all of them.”

After starting my car, I pulled out onto the road, glowering at anyone daring to cross my path. As a kid, I used to pray for laser vision. Maybe it was because I never got to voice my opinions. Maybe it was because I always repressed my anger and frustration, even as a small child. But every night, I prayed and prayed and prayed…

But it never came.

Right now, in this moment, I never wished I had laser vision more. Because if I had it, I could smite everyone in my way—including Derek—and turn them into a pile of ash and dust with the blink of an eye. The way I was feeling right now, no one would be safe from my attack. Not even Jackson.

All I wanted was to get home, go in my room, and hide from the world.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t talk to me as I walked past him.

The ride passed quickly, more than likely because I was too angry to dwell on the traffic. When I pulled into the driveway, I was only slightly less irate. Hopping out of my car, I gathered my purse and made my way up the driveway. I kicked the door shut behind me as I set my keys down on the table.

Laughter rang out, and I froze.

Jackson was home.

I figured that part out on my own, out in the driveway, since his truck was parked next to my car. But…he wasn’t alone. And that wasn’t his laugh. Turning oh so slowly, I searched the living room with wide eyes. Jackson was on the couch, bent over a bunch of papers on the coffee table. A gorgeous woman sat beside him, laughing and rubbing his arm—while eyeing him up like he was her next meal.

Jackson didn’t push her off. If anything, he moved closer.

I watched, swallowing hard, wanting to look away, but unable to.

He didn’t owe me anything. He’d made it clear last night that we weren’t going to repeat that explosion of passion. He didn’t want to want me. He had literally told me he would sleep with me if I were anyone else. Anyone. Well, he’d found anyone. She had red hair and huge breasts, like the woman he’d immortalized on his body in ink.

He hadn’t noticed me yet. I could run for it. Come back later, after he was done with…whatever it was they were doing. Or I could hold my head up high and march past, ignoring them. That was what I should do.

But she rested a hand on his thigh, and he didn’t push her off, and I knew I wouldn’t be sticking around to see what happened next. No, thank you.

I knew firsthand what happened next.

Stupendous orgasms were in her future.

Only with her, he wouldn’t stop with a kiss. With her, the clothes would come off, and she would find out where that treasure trail led. Lucky woman. Where was that damned laser vision? I blinked and scowled at her, visually picturing her turning into a pile of nothing…

Jackson turned and saw me.

When our gazes connected, I felt it all the way to the pit of my stomach. He didn’t smile. Instead, he seemed…annoyed. “Is your eye okay?”

I quit my imagined smiting. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

“One was closed and the other was squinted.”

My cheeks went hot. “Oh. Yeah.” I stepped backward, toward the door. Toward escape. “I had something in my eye. It’s out now. But anyway, I—”

“Who’s this?” the pretty woman asked, standing and eyeing me as if I was competition. How silly of her. “A roommate?”

“This is Lilly, my…” He rubbed his jaw, watching me. “My little…sister.”

I swallowed back a protest. I wasn’t his sister. If I was, last night wouldn’t have happened. And he could snarl at me all he wanted, but I knew that look in his eyes meant he wanted to do it again. If I wasn’t his “little sister,” I’d let him.

“Nice to meet you,” the lady said, coming toward me as if she wanted to shake my hand. It would probably be wrong to punch her. “How cute that you two still live together at your ages.”

Must. Not. Punch. I forced a smile. “So cute.”

“It must be so fun living with a brother like Jackson,” the woman said with a flirtatious drawl. “I’ve been having a blast all afternoon.”

“So much fun.” I shot Jackson a dirty look. He twisted his lips at me in response, as if silently daring me to contradict him with that cocky smirk. I knew he didn’t think I had the guts, though. He expected me to be a good girl. After dealing with Derek, I was ready to unleash my inner bad girl. I couldn’t wait to prove him wrong. “As a matter of fact, just last night, we were in his bedroom and he made me come—”

That smirk slid off real fast. “Play video games,” he said quickly, stepping closer to me. “Anything to improve her coordination.”

“Yeah, I’m so clumsy, just tripping all over the place. But last night I was on fire. Poor Jackson, he just didn’t get lucky, couldn’t make it to the end goal.” I smiled sweetly. “Right…brother?”

He smiled through his teeth. “Oh, I was fine. I did a one-player mission, after you left. Turns out, I play much better on my own. By the time I finished, I beat your high score—and then some.”

Oh, my God. Had he just admitted to masturbating after I left him? Why did that make me so hot? And so angry? That had been my orgasm. He should have given it to me.

I blinked at him. “Well, good for you! I tell you, the kind of release winning gives you…” I sighed and smiled dreamily. “It’s almost…orgasmic, isn’t it?”

He walked toward me, fists tight, but caught himself and came up short. “Lilly.”

The woman looked between us, clearly confused, her flirty vibe long gone. “Um…”

Jackson glowered at me as if he contemplated my death.

I cleared my throat and set my books down. I could feel Jackson’s glare burning into the back of my head. “Speaking of orgasmic…I just realized I was supposed to meet some friends to go dancing. You guys have fun. And don’t wait up, big brother.”

Jackson growled, and I practically ran out the door, wiggling my fingers at him before slamming it shut behind me. For a second I thought he would follow me outside.

But he didn’t. He let me leave.

I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing…or bad.

After kicking my car into reverse, I backed out full speed, squealing my tires as I slammed it into drive. The short ride to the club seemed even shorter. As soon as I had the car in park, I was stomping across the parking lot and into the same club I went to the other night. The night Jackson had come back into my life.

I wouldn’t have to worry about running into him tonight.

He was clearly busy.

I walked right up to the bar, eyeing the crowd as I went. The bartender—the same one who had broken up the fight between Jackson and Derek the other night—came up to me. “What can I get you?”

“Vodka. Lots of it.”

The man eyed me but nodded and walked away. When he came back with two shots, I downed them both in quick succession. Swiping my hand across my mouth, I blinked away the tears from the burn. “More.”

“Easy now,” the guy said. “Aren’t you Jackson’s little sister?”

I reared back. “Sister? Is that what he told you?”

“Yeah…” The man rocked back on his feet. “Stepsister, to be exact.”

I laughed. “No. You had it right the first time. I’m his freaking sister.”

“If you say so,” he muttered. “Coulda sworn he said step.”

I scowled at him, but my vision was already blurring from the vodka. Probably because I hadn’t eaten anything since a banana at eight o’clock this morning. There was a group of three men standing in the corner, clearly striking out with the ladies. “You know what? Forget that last shot I just ordered. I’m gonna go dance with those guys, maybe see if they know how to show a girl a good time, before going home to my brother. Start me a tab.”

I made it across the room in record time. One of the guys saw me approaching and punched the others’ arms, so by the time I got there they were ogling me, mouths gaping. And I was just wearing the clothes I threw on for work. Daddy told me I didn’t get to start wearing business suits until I actually had a position—after my year of interning was completed.

The men were close to my age and adorable in a nerdy kind of way. Maybe if my head hadn’t been full of Jackson, I’d have chemistry with one of them, but all I wanted to do now was help these boys fly.

“H-h-hi,” the tall one said. He wore cute wireframe glasses and a button-up shirt that had an ink stain on the sleeve. “I’m George.”

“I’m Lilly. Nice to meet you, George.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder and smiled up at him, before sneaking a glance behind him. The girls they’d struck out with were watching us. “You weren’t having much luck tonight, huh?”

He glanced at the girls’ table. “Yeah. But—”

“I’ll tell you what. I’m not going to go home with you, but I want to dance and drink, without having to worry about anyone ruining my fun.” I ran my hand down his arm, rocking forward on my toes. He sucked in a breath at my touch and watched me with a bewildered expression. “If you agree to hang with me tonight,” I said, making eye contact with each boy, “I’ll make sure those girls come slinking back to check out what they’re missing. All you have to do is keep up with me on the dance floor, get my drinks from the bar, and flirt back. It’s a win-win situation. You in?”

George looked at his friends, eyebrows raised. The one wearing a shirt with a glow-in-the-dark periodic table of elements stepped forward. “I’m Henry. Can I get you a drink, milady?”

I gave him a sultry smile. “Milady? Aren’t you the polite gentleman? I’d love a Sex on the Beach. And the first round’s on me, gentlemen.” I waited until Henry made it to the bar and nodded at the bartender when he looked at me to confirm the drinks were on me. Then I grabbed George’s hand and that of his quiet friend, and dragged them onto the dance floor.

Jackson who?