Текст книги "Out of Time"

Автор книги: Jen McLaughlin

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

“Oh?” I loosened my seatbelt, my heart quickening at the odd reply. I hadn’t heard from my father a whole lot lately, and it hadn’t even registered on my radar with all the other shit I had going on, but now it was glaringly clear. “And what would that be? Is everything okay with him, sir?”

He looked back my way, and the momentary flash of emotion had dissipated. The relentless politician I was accustomed to had returned. “I think that’s something you need to talk to him about.”

That didn’t sound fucking good at all. What unavoidable thing could my father have had come up? “I’ll call him after breakfast, sir.”

“Good.” Senator Wallington looked out the window again, giving me a reprieve from the nonstop scrutiny. I’d never seen the man so damned restless before. “I have to say, I had my suspicions in coming out here. Suspicions that led me to come out here directly.”

And just like that, my heart stopped beating, then painfully accelerated. “Sir?”

“I knew Carrie was hiding something. I came here because I knew she wasn’t being completely honest with me, and now I know what she’s hiding.”

My chest squeezed tight. “What would that be, sir?”

“Don’t you know already?” He leaned closer, eyeing me like a predator with its prey. “I think you do. I think you know exactly what I want to know, and you’re going to tell me every detail without leaving a single thing out.”

“I don’t know what you want to hear from me, sir,” I forced myself to say. My voice sounded pretty damn calm. I leaned back against the seat, even though I wanted to bolt and warn Carrie. My heart pounded in my ears, echoing like a drum solo in an empty room. “I’ve been doing my job. Watching your daughter. Keeping her out of trouble.”

He leaned forward and gripped my shoulder far too hard to be comforting. “Well, tell me everything you know.”

This was it. This was the fucking beginning of the end. Even knowing this, I forced myself to calmly ask, “About what, sir?”

He narrowed his eyes at me, for once not looking cold. No, he looked fucking pissed off. “Why don’t you tell me?”

Mom tilted her head, fingering the sleeve of the soft teal sweater in front of her. “I don’t know, honey. Which one do you think you’ll get the most use out of?”

“I like this one,” I said, my mind not really on the sweater. It was on Finn and the chemistry homework I’d never finished, and the lab I had to do tomorrow morning. “It’s a lighter shade.”

Mom nodded. “And feel how soft it is.”

I sighed, reaching out and touching the soft sweater, trying my best to look as into the whole shopping experience as she was. I’d never been able to last as long as she could, and today was no exception. We’d been shopping for three hours, and I was done. D-O-N-E, done. I didn’t care which one she bought thirty minutes ago, and I didn’t care now either.

It was a shirt. A shirt Finn would undoubtedly rip off me at some point.

“It’ll go better with your hair.” She held the sweater up to me, and I held my arms out as she studied my complexion. “Yes, this’ll do. Now, for some pants…”

I followed her, barely biting back a groan. Truth be told, I wasn’t much of a shopper, but she was, and it made her happy. I smiled and acted as if I cared what color socks I wore with my sweaters because it made her smile. As she combed through a rack of black jeans, I peeked over my shoulder for the ten-millionth time.

Finn still wasn’t out there. Just a pair of suits.

Where was he? Was I just not seeing him? For a while after our big fight, he’d done a good job at staying hidden from me. Maybe he was incognito or something.

“Oh, look at the pockets on these.” Mom pulled out a pair of black jeans with zippers on a bunch of pockets from the back of the rack. “They look like something a biker chick would wear, don’t you think?”

They did. I could easily picture myself sitting on Finn’s bike, wearing those pants and wrapping my arms around his waist. I bet he’d like them, too. For the first time this whole shopping trip, my heart picked up speed. “Yeah, and I like them. Are they my size?”

She looked at me with a raised brow. “Of course they are. I wouldn’t have pulled them out if they weren’t.”

“I’ll take them.” I smiled at her, my eyes still on the pants. “Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, dear.” She pursed her lips and looked at me, her eyes narrowed. I stiffened. Last time she looked at me like that, I’d been forced to get a haircut because it was fresh and fun. I’d hated it. “Shall we get you some biker boots to go with it?”

I tensed. She sounded suspicious. As if she knew I was riding a bike now. She couldn’t possibly know that. I forced myself to relax and smile. “Um, sure. Why not? They’re fashionable now. Maybe with some laces that go all the way up?”

She tapped a finger on her lip. “Your tastes have changed.”

“I’ve grown up.” I looked over my shoulder, searching the crowd outside for Finn. Still no sign of him. I turned back to Mom. “Is that so bad?”

She smiled and headed for the register. “Of course not. As a matter of fact, I think I like the changes. You look happier.”

That’s because I was. I had Finn. “I am, Mom. Really, really happy.”

“Good. And I’m glad you’re free of all the stresses from our life out here.” Mom stood in line, tapping her foot as she waited. “Last week, we hosted three senators and a governor for dinner. Everything was rolling along smoothly, but then, wouldn’t you know it? Christy got the flu and couldn’t make the dinner. We had to scramble for a replacement chef at the last second, and Dad was on a rampage.”

I flinched. I was all too familiar with the stresses that came with being a Wallington. “Who did you find?”

“The Stapletons loaned us theirs. He was delightful.” Mom looked over her shoulder, her eyes lighting up. “Hey, you remember them, right? They have a son who’s a couple of years older than you. His name’s Riley.”

I scanned my memory. I vaguely remembered a guy a few years older than me at Dad’s last gala, but to be honest, most of those events passed in a blur. “Blond hair, green eyes, and tall?”

“Mmhm.” She smiled even bigger. “You remember him.”

“Yeah, sure.” I shrugged. “He seemed nice enough.”

“Well, he wants to go sailing with you over the summer break.” Mom stepped forward in the line a little bit more. “They visited the night of the disaster, and we got to talking about you. You’ll never believe it, but he goes to school upstate, near San Francisco.”

I tensed. Why hadn’t I realized where this was going? “Mom…”

“Oh relax, dear.” She patted my arm. “It’s a sailing expedition, not a betrothal.”

I choked on a laugh. “I know, but I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now.” Because I already have one. “Besides, why would he be thinking about taking me out? He doesn’t even really know me.”

“Your father and his are in the same political party, as you know, so it’s an advantageous move for both families.” She sighed and hugged the clothes tighter to her chest. “You do know at one point, you’ll have to come home and play the game. Be the daughter your father needs you to be. Right?”

I stiffened and swallowed hard. In other words, I was expected to come home and marry a Stapleton like a good little girl. Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t need a Stapleton. I had a Coram. This was exactly what Finn had been worried about. And I’d laughed it off, as if it didn’t matter and would never come into play.

I’d been wrong. It did matter. Finn was smart to plan ahead.

“Mom, I’m not marrying someone to further Dad’s career,” I said, my voice low. “I love you, and I love him, but no.”

“You’re not going to marry a man for your father. That’s not what I meant.” She shrugged. “But you’ll marry someone who will be a benefit to the family, I’m sure. Someone who is worthy of standing beside a Wallington. You should take more pride in who you are.”

“I have plenty of pride.” I crossed my arms. “But you have too much. We’re no different than anyone else.”

“I didn’t say we were. You’re putting words in my mouth.” Mom sighed. “It’s hard to see the big picture when you’re so young.” She reached out and squeezed my arm, her eyes kind, even though her words made me want to scream. “You have time. There’s no rush for you to accept this all right here.”

I clenched my teeth. I wouldn’t be accepting it ever. “Mom.”

“It’s about more than what we want out of life. There’s your father’s career, the presidential campaign, the opportunities…you’re just too young to see that.” Mom dropped her arm. “Looks like it’s my turn to pay.”

Mom stepped forward and chatted up the store employee, acting for all the world as if she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on me and walked away. I fidgeted and looked over my shoulder. Dad was out there talking to the suits, but still no Finn.

Not able to stand it another second, I pulled out my phone and texted him. Everything okay, Susan?

My phone buzzed and my heart sped up. Yeah, I’m fine. What are you up to?

I peeked at Mom, making sure she wasn’t watching me. Luckily, she was too busy chatting. Shopping with my mom.

Oh boy. Sounds…fun? Okay. I can’t lie. Not really. You know I’m not much of a shopper.

I held back a smile. Yeah, I know.

Are you going to buy something pretty?

I grinned. Like…?

I don’t know. A skirt for church? Maybe we could share it.

I snorted, then glanced up cautiously. Mom was almost finished. Uh-oh. We’re done paying. I have to go.

Okay. Hey, the sun is finally shining.

I looked out the window and smiled. It really is.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket just in time for Mom to stop yakking to the cashier. She looked at me, taking in my flushed cheeks more than likely. She arched a dainty brow. “What were you doing, dear?” she asked.

I scrambled for something to say and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Looking at used cars.”

“Cars?” Mom blinked at me. “Do you want one?”

I nodded frantically, wiping my sweaty palms on my thighs. “Yeah, someday. Something inexpensive to get around in, you know? I spend a lot in cab fare.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. “Tell your father. He’ll buy you one.”

“I will.” Not. If I told him, he’d buy me some expensive, top-of-the-line car. I wanted something old and rusty. Nothing fancy. I cleared my throat, ready to change the subject. “By the way, how’s your friend Mary? The one who went for surgery on Monday when we talked?”

“Oh, I think she’s better.”

I nodded, letting her walk in front of me and following her closely. “How do you know? Did you go see her again?”

“No. She’s back on our Words With Friends game as of an hour ago.” Mom looked back at me and shrugged. “She can’t play if she’s not feeling better, so she must be fine.”

I choked on a laugh. “Uh…yeah. I guess so.”

I followed her out the door, my attention focused on Dad. I looked for any signs of anger or frustration or knowledge, but he just smiled at me and hugged Mom. When he hugged me, kissing the top of my head like he always did, I wanted to shake him and ask him where Finn was. I couldn’t.

I had to play the game.

“Where have you been?” I asked him.

I looked up at him like I used to do when I was a little girl, with my chin resting on his chest. It took me back to a time when I’d thought he could do no wrong. I’d thought he was perfect back then. Invincible. How naïve I’d been. He was a good man. He really was. But he had flaws like the rest of us.

“You weren’t done until three and I knew your mother wanted to go shopping with you like old times.” He eyed the bags in my hands and Mom’s. “Looks like you were both successful.”

“Of course we were,” Mom said, fluffing her light red hair. “But where’d you run off to all day, Hugh?”

“Oh, you know, taking care of some business.” Dad averted his eyes and let go of me, pressing his lips together. His dark brown hair was immaculately in place, and he was clean-shaven. If he smiled, he’d flash those famous dimples that made all the women in America swoon. He could probably win the campaign with those two assets alone. “I’m starving. You two ready to eat something?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

“Absolutely,” Mom said.

He grinned, his dimples popping out. “All right. Off we go, the fearsome threesome.”

I didn’t follow him as he walked, and it took him all of two seconds to notice. When he turned to me with a curious expression, I gave him a level look. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have had the courage to stand up to him like this, but I’d changed. Finn had shown me how life was supposed to be, and it wasn’t this. “Lose the suits. I’m not ruining my cover because you’re scared we’ll be attacked at the restaurant.”

If Finn still followed us, Dad wouldn’t even hesitate to send the men packing. He would shrug and tell them to go eat. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can. Normal people do it all the time.”

“We’re not normal,” he stressed, looking pointedly at Mom. “A little help here, Margie?”

“But—”

“I am normal when I’m here.” I caught his gaze, biting down on my lip so hard it hurt. He wasn’t sending them away. This wasn’t good. Wasn’t good at all. “Back home I follow all your rules, even though it kills me to be so freaking sheltered. Out here, you need to follow mine. You promised I could be normal here.”

His tough façade cracked. “Carrie…”

“Please?” I curled my hands into fists, not dropping my gaze. “Daddy?”

Yep. I pulled out the big guns. Worked every time.

“Hugh…” Mom grabbed his elbow, holding on tight. “They can take our bags home, dear. It’ll be fine. Plus, it’ll be nice with just the three of us.”

Dad released a breath and motioned them over. “You can take our bags and head back to the hotel. We’ll be there after dinner.”

The security man nodded, took our bags, and motioned for his buddy to follow him. He wore the same black suit they always wore, and I tried to picture Finn standing beside them perfectly immobile and serious.

The image of the Finn I knew didn’t mesh well with the security guard Finn, but I knew that’s what he was. What he did. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, his voice gruff.

Mom grinned, looking back and forth between us. “So, where are we going?” Mom asked, linking her arm with Dad’s.

I forced myself to pay attention. “There’s a great burger place called Islands. We could—”

“Burgers?” Mom snorted. “I don’t think so, Carrie.”

Dad looked down at her. “I hear there’s a great five-star sushi place in town. Let’s go there. Sound good, Carrie?”

No. I hated sushi, and he knew it. Or at least…he should. Then again, maybe I’d never bothered to mention it to him. But there would be something besides sushi at the restaurant, so I could work with it. “Sure. That sounds great.”

“What time are your classes tomorrow?” Dad asked.

I had to think about it for a second. “Nine to four.”

“Any plans afterward?” Mom asked, her eyes on mine.

“Nope.”

Dad stiffened. “Do we have to do this right here, Margie?”

I looked at both of them, unable to follow whatever the heck was going on right now. I slid into the town car and waited for them both to be seated before answering. “I’d assumed I would be hanging out with you two, since you’re only here until Saturday night.”

“No hot date?” Mom asked, a smile on her face.

She wasn’t making any sense. One second she’s asking me to come home and marry a Stapleton, and the next she’s asking me if I have a hot date planned. I blinked at her. “Uh…no? Why?”

“Well...” Mom smiled even wider, but Dad grew even tenser, if possible. “Your father thinks you’re dating someone and hiding it. And I hope you are. Well, the dating part. Not the hiding, because I want to hear all about him. We all need to have some fun in college before settling down.”

Ah. So that’s why she was acting all happy to hear about the possibility of me dating someone. She viewed it as a fling or sowing wild oats or something equally untrue. I gripped my knees so tight it hurt, focusing on Dad instead of her. “Why would you think I’m seeing someone?”

“I have my reasons.” He looked over at me, pinning me against the door without even touching me. “Are you?”

My heart beat so loudly in my ears I couldn’t hear anything but my own panicked thoughts. “N-No…?”

Oh my God, did he know? Could he know? Had Finn told him?

He tilted his head. “Is that a question or an answer?”

“An answer,” I said, straightening my spine. If I was going to save Finn’s job and keep his father employed through his last few months, then I needed to do better at lying. I tried to ignore my racing pulse. “Of course it’s an answer. What kind of question is that, anyway?”

“The question of a concerned father.”

“Well, my concerned father needs to realize I’m not a little girl anymore, and he needs to relax.” When he opened his mouth to argue, I shot him a look that probably could have set coals on fire. “And this goes for you, too, Mom. I’ll date who I want, when I want, and I won’t answer to either one of you for it.”

Mom gasped, covering her mouth. “Carrie, don’t yell at us.”

I closed my eyes for a second. I hadn’t even raised my voice in the slightest. “I’m not yelling. I’m simply letting you two know that if and when I’m dating a man, I’ll bring him to meet you when I’m good and ready. Not a second before. You flying out here to check on me and try to catch me in a lie isn’t going to hurry me up any. You don’t like that? Then stop trying to dig into something that isn’t your business. Last time I checked, I was a legal adult. I expect to be treated as such.”

Mom’s eyes went wider, and Dad turned red…then even redder. I never stood up to them like this, so I got the shock they were experiencing—but dude, it felt good. Really, really good. “You listen to me, young lady, you’ll—”

Mom squeezed his arm, but didn’t look away from me. “Dear? I think this discussion is better ended right here and now. I know that look in her eye all too well. Let it go.”

“But I—” He broke off and pointed at me. “And she—”

Mom patted his arm. “I know, Hugh. It’s called growing up. Kids do that.”

“They don’t talk to their parents like that,” he huffed. “If I’d done that to my father, I wouldn’t have been able to sit straight for a week.”

The car stopped in front of the restaurant, but none of us moved. “I love you both very much,” I said softly, “but some things have to be done in my time, on my terms. That’s all I’m asking.”

Dad pressed his lips together, looking as if he wanted nothing more than to shout, but he nodded. “Fine. If you choose the wrong man, I will do everything in my power to send him packing.”

I had no doubt that Finn was probably the “wrong guy” in Dad’s eyes, but nothing would send Finn running. I was confident in his love for me, and in our love for each other. “You can try.”

He narrowed his eyes on me. “Are you at least going to tell me who he is?”

“There is no ‘he’ at all,” I stated, opening the door. “Now let’s go eat.”

I heard my mother whisper something to my father, and he answered back in hushed tones. When they climbed out of the car, he looked even more pissed off, but he was quiet. I couldn’t shake the sinking suspicion that Dad knew more than he was letting on—that he was playing us both against one another until one of us broke and gave away our secrets. It wouldn’t be me.

I was determined to keep my silence, my freedom, and my Finn…

No matter what I had to do.

Friday night I tossed all my shit into the green field bag on my bed, my mind at least a million miles from this damn drill weekend. It had been two days since I last saw Carrie, and I was like a man detoxing from heroin. I had the shakes and I needed her now. If I could hold her for one minute, and inhale her sweet scent, it would be enough to get me through the weekend. Just a small fix.

I hugged her sweater she’d left here, holding it to my nose to inhale deeply. It wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed her. But I couldn’t have her until her parents left. It was fucking ridiculous that I was so impatient considering the fact that it would only be a few days apart. It shouldn’t be so damn hard to be without her.

But it really fucking was.

Even worse? Her father suspected I was hiding something.

I was, but I couldn’t say it yet. Not until my father retired. And the really shitty part about this plan? My silence would only make him hate me in the end.

I couldn’t betray my own father. Not even for my own chance at happiness.

Knowing I’d possibly lost the one chance I had to come clean with the man didn’t exactly sit well, but it was my dad. What was I supposed to do? Throw him under the tires to save myself? Over my dead body.

Still, it sucked ass.

My phone rang, and I crossed the room to pick it up off my bed. Once I saw the number, I relaxed a bit. I’d called my father the other day, after the cryptic lunch with Senator Wallington, but he hadn’t called me back. Dad always called me back right away. “Hey, Dad. It’s about time you returned my call.”

“Hello, son. I heard that you—” he cleared his throat and continued, “that you were getting company out there.”

“Yeah. I kind of expected you to come.” I reclined on my bed, Carrie’s sweater still in my hands. I absentmindedly ran my fingers over the bandage covering my chest. I’d gotten new ink today. “And don’t avoid the question. Why didn’t you call me back?”

I played with her sweater as I waited for Dad to answer. He sounded sluggish tonight. He made a weird moaning sound. “I wasn’t invited to come along, and I was busy.”

I cocked a brow. “Doing what? Guarding the dog? The rest of them are here.”

Dad laughed. “You know how much they love this stupid thing. He asked me to stay behind and take care of her.”

That was a lie. Dad never lied to me.

“You were invited. The senator told me,” I replied, sitting up straight. “He said you were going to come out, but something came up. Then I call, and it takes you two days to get back to me? Tell me the truth—what’s up, Dad?”

“Oh. Okay, then.” Dad sighed, sounding old and tired even through the phone. “I’m sick. I have a pretty nasty flu. It’s knocked me down pretty hard.”

Well, that explained the weak tone of his voice, at least, and the non-visit. I rolled to my feet and went back to packing, balancing the phone on my shoulder and tossing Carrie’s sweater on my pillow. “Oh, that sucks. Are you on the upswing yet?”

He laughed lightly. “I’m trying.”

“Do you want me to let you go to bed? You know rest is the best thing for a flu, right?” I ran a hand over my short hair. I’d gotten it cut earlier this morning. “That and the chicken noodle soup Mom used to make, of course.”

“I am. And I do.” He coughed lightly, then laughed. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I feel fine most of the time. It just gets worse at night.”

He didn’t sound fucking fine to me. My heart picked up speed. The sound of his weak voice brought back bad memories of Mom lying in bed, slowly wasting away till nothing was there but death. “Are you s-sure? I could come home and check on you—”

“No,” he said, his voice perfectly strong that time. “I’m fine. You focus on your job and stop worrying about me and my stupid virus.”

Which reminded me about the call I’d gotten—and the possible deployment. I couldn’t tell him that shit when he was sick. It could be nothing. And if it was something, then I’d tell him about it after this weekend. I didn’t want him losing sleep when he needed the rest. “If you’re sure…”

“I am.” He cleared his throat again, sounding like he choked back a cough at the same time. “I’m going to go now. I love you.”

I swallowed hard. He sounded like shit. “I love you, Dad.”

I hung up the phone and started to set it down, but my phone vibrated in my hand. A text from Carrie. You home?

I sighed and tried to brush off the phone call with my father. He was sick, but he’d get better and be back to his happy self soon enough. Yeah. Packing for cheerleading camp. You?

I grinned as soon as I hit send. She’d get a kick about where I said I’d be going, and I couldn’t wait to see what her reply was. But it didn’t come.

A few minutes passed, making me grow twitchy and forget all about my dad’s cold. Lately, the texts had been shorter and fewer, making me wonder if she was already pulling away from me. Then I remembered she was with her parents, and I kicked myself in the nuts for being such a neurotic fucking mess all the time.

My phone buzzed and I looked down at it with a hunger that was laughable. Who the hell got so excited to get a fucking text? I’m home.

I pictured her lying in her dorm bed, all alone in a pair of skimpy shorts and a tank top. Was her hair down or in a ponytail? My heart squeezed tight. I shouldn’t miss her this much, damn it. It had only been a few days of no contact. We’d gone longer before, but that had been before we became a couple.

I guess that made a difference in my tolerance. I shook my head and focused on my phone. Going to bed now?

Barely a second passed. Maybe…

It’s either a yes or a no. What’s the hesitance?

Hold on.

The key sounded in the door, and I lurched to my feet. The only other person with a key was Carrie. And if Carrie was here…I didn’t know whether to kiss her or yell at her for being so damn reckless. With her parents in town, the last place she should be is with me.

Her father had said no one was watching us, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t lying. The man was more slippery than an eel in salt water. I didn’t trust him one bit. She walked in, closing the door behind her quickly, her eyes locking with mine. All that mattered was she was here.

A fist of emotion knocked the breath right out of me, making it hard to breathe. I took a stumbling step toward her, then another. Yeah. I wasn’t going to yell at her. I was going to kiss her and hold her and thank God she came to see me because I’d missed her way too much. My fingers itched with the need to touch her, to have her.

All I could manage to say, amidst all the feelings she brought to life with her reappearance, was one word. “Carrie.”

“Before you say anything, I know I’m not supposed to be here.” She leaned against the door and breathed heavily, her eyes on mine. Her gaze dipped lower, lingering on the bandage on my chest, but then she tore her eyes away. “But I have a car now. Dad bought it for me. I told Mom I wanted one and the next day it was there. It’s ridiculous how easy it was, but it got me here, and that’s all that matters.”

I blinked at her. She had a car now? I hadn’t even known she wanted one.

She continued on, obviously not needing a reply from me. “I parked at the store down the street. Then I went inside, left through the back, and walked here. I won’t stay long, so no one will guess where I am. Don’t yell at me.”

I opened and closed my fists. “Why would I yell at you when I could kiss you instead?”

“Then do it already,” she said, her eyes flashing at me.

I let out a broken sound I didn’t even recognize and closed the distance between us. I didn’t stop until I had her pinned against the door, my body glued to hers. I ran my hands all over her, starting at her shoulder, then dipping down her side and brushing against her breast. Her breath hitched in her throat, and I yanked her against my body, knowing I should be sending her away but unable to.

Because I was fucking lost.

“You’re really here,” I breathed. “It’s not another dream.”

“I’m really here.” She tilted her face up, her nails digging into my chest. “Are you going to kiss me or not?”

I groaned and closed my mouth over hers, slipping my tongue inside her lips as if I were a starving man and she was my last supper. And if she was? Well, at least I’d die a happy man. She let out a whimper and clung to me harder, her tiny nails piercing my skin. I couldn’t give a damn.

She could draw blood from me as often as she wanted, as long as she was here.

Our kiss seemed to break something inside of me. I growled as I lifted her against the door, my hands on her waist. As I undid the button, she trembled and grabbed her shirt, breaking off the kiss long enough to rip it over her head before fusing her mouth to mine once more.

I tugged her shorts over hips, letting them hit the floor, then slid my hand between her legs, expecting to feel the smooth satin of her underwear. Instead, I touched bare skin, and I shuddered with the need that punched through me. It would drive me fucking insane from now on—wondering whether she had anything on under her fucking pants.

I let go of her and crossed the room in record speed, grabbing a condom out of my drawer and tearing it open impatiently. After I had the protection aspect of what we were about to do under control, I stepped between her legs and lifted her higher against the door. I wanted to take it slow and be all seductive and romantic and shit, but she was driving me insane with the little noises she was making and the way her hips rose toward me, begging for more. And I was a desperate man.

I broke off the kiss, my breathing harsh and my cock positioned at her pussy. “This isn’t going to be sweet or soft. Are you okay with that?”

“Yes.” She buried her hands in what was left of my hair and wrapped her legs around my waist. “Just hurry up, damn it.”

I groaned and kissed her again, plunging inside of her in one smooth thrust. When I was buried inside her all the way, I tightened my grip on her and pressed her against the door even harder to make sure she had good support. Then…I fucking lost all control. I pulled out of her and thrust back inside—hard and fast and rough. And I didn’t stop.

She clung to me, crying out my name. For a second I thought I hurt her, and started to pull back, but she dug her heels into my ass and held me in place, her hips moving restlessly against me. “Don’t…stop.”

I growled and plunged inside of her again, even harder. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me, and how much I needed her in my life, but all I could do was move inside of her, making her moan and scream out my name and draw my blood.

Her nails raked down my chest to my abs, leaving a stinging sensation behind them, and I drove deeper inside of her. Her hands faltered over my bandage, but she closed her eyes and lost herself in the rhythm. When she started trembling, her thighs quivering around me, I positioned myself so that I brushed against her clit with each thrust and bit down on her neck. Within seconds, her pussy clenched around me and she tensed, her whole body going tight and hard.