Текст книги "The Other Side of Love"

Автор книги: J. S. Cooper

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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 11 страниц)

Chapter 3

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“I just need to tell my brother.” I made a face. “He’s a hothead, but he’s trustworthy. He won’t tell anyone. Not even our dad.”

“No.” Special Agent Waldron shook his head. “If we go forward with this, you can’t tell anyone.”

“I can’t just leave and not tell him.” My heart stilled. “It would kill him. I’m all he has.”

“That’s what we’re counting on.” He stared at me with blank eyes. “You cannot tell him.”

“You don’t understand. It’s always been us. We don’t have a mother, our father doesn’t care about us. And Zane, well, he’s already closed off. I can’t just leave and not have him know. He won’t stop searching for me.”

“Then you’ll die.” He nodded and took out a pad. “That’s probably the better idea anyway.”

“Die?” I shrunk back and shivered. “I don’t think Braydon knows that I heard anything. Do you think they’re going to put a hit out on me?”

“I don’t mean that Sanchez is going to kill you.” He looked up at me and sighed. “I mean we’ll fake your death. It should motivate your brother to help us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’s in that crowd as well. He knows Braydon, Angelique, and the others. I’ll approach him at the funeral and see if he can help me.”

“I don’t want him involved.” I shook my head. “If you need help, I can do it.”

“No.” He shook his head vehemently. “They’ll suspect you too easily. We need someone else.”

“I don’t want Zane involved in this.” I stood up. “Sorry, but I’m not interested in helping anymore.”

“Stop.” His voice was commanding, and I paused as I walked to the door. “It’s not safe for you or anyone else. We need to get these guys, Noah. I know that you know how dangerous they are. That’s why you came to us.”

“I can’t just disappear, though.”

“It won’t be forever.” He sighed. “We’ll have you disappear in a small town I know. Stay low and you’ll be safe. Unless you change your mind about witness protection.”

“No, I’m not going forever.” I bit my lip. “I don’t understand why you can’t call Zane and ask him to come in now. We can tell him the plan. He can still help us.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I can’t risk him slipping up. If he thinks you’re dead, and he thinks Braydon is responsible, he’ll do more. He’ll go looking for the truth. We need that.”

“You don’t know what he’ll do.”

“We’re pretty sure.” He smiled at me, tight-lipped, and I looked at the folders on his desk. I saw one with my name and underneath it I saw a label that said “Zane Beaumont.” I shivered as I realized that they must have been investigating both of us.

“So what’s in the files?” I nodded towards his desk with a frown.

“Everything that exists outside of your minds.” He shrugged. “I like to know who I’m dealing with.”

“That explains the file about me, but not about Zane.”

“What can I say? I had a feeling he was going to be helpful.”

“I don’t want to go away without telling my brother.” I shook my head. “I can’t that to him. I can’t involve him in something this deep without him knowing the truth.”

“You don’t have a choice, Noah. Sometimes when you love someone, the best thing you can do is keep them in the dark. Loving someone doesn’t always mean telling them everything. It means knowing when it’s best to keep your mouth shut and when it’s best to open it. And this is the time to keep it shut—that is, if you love your brother as much as you say you do.”

“I still want to know about Mom.” Zane cleared his throat. “I’m not going to push it right now, but I still want to know.” His voice was light.

“You’ve changed.” I cocked my head and studied him. “You’re calmer than you were before. I was expecting you to put me in a headlock to get an answer.”

“That’s coming if you don’t give me an answer tomorrow.” He grinned at me.

“I’m not keeping it to myself because I want to. Trust me.” I made a face. “Just like I didn’t leave and not tell you because I wanted to keep you in the dark.”

“How could you do it?” He peered at me with hurt eyes. “I would never do that to you. I could never just leave and have you think I’m dead.”

“I didn’t want to just leave.” I sighed. “It’s always just been us. I begged to be able to tell you. But Special Agent Waldron convinced me that it was in your best interest for me to not tell you.”

“I know you didn’t do it to hurt me.” He sat on my bed and played with his fingers. “Don’t hate me, but I am kind of glad that you didn’t tell me. I know it sounds twisted. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if it wasn’t for you going away, I would never have met Lucky. And I don’t know what my life would be like if I didn’t have her in my life. Do I sound like a complete asshole?” He looked up at me with a twisted smile. “Am I the world’s worst brother?”

“No.” I laughed lightheartedly. “In fact, it makes you human and very honest.”

“I love her so much, you know.” He made a face. “It hurts me to be away from her. Like I feel a physical pain. It’s crazy.”

“That’s love. It provides as much joy as it does pain.”

“She really hurt you, didn’t she?”

“Not in the way that you think.” I paced in front of the bed. “It’s funny, our roles are reversed now. I used to be the one that believed in happy endings, and you were the one with the tortured soul.”

“You have a tortured soul? What happened to the rainbows and shit you spouted about when we were growing up?”

“I was living in a daydream. Love isn’t always wonderful and flowery. It can be deep, dark, and persevering. It’s about accepting the bad with the good. It’s about everything we give, get, and forget. We all know the bright side of love as it shines luminously for all to see. But the other side of love, the other side can be a lonely, solitary place. I know that now.”

“You ever going to tell me what she did to make you so bitter?”

“Who?” I looked up at him with a bleak smile. “Which she?”

“There’s more than one woman who has broken your heart?”

“There’s more than one woman who has made me doubt the human race.” I walked over to the closet so that Zane couldn’t see my face. “But let’s not focus on that. I’d rather hear how Lucky has made you believe in love. And then I want to go and hold her tight and ask her if she can introduce me to her God.”

“Her God?” Zane’s voice sounded confused and I turned around and gave him a smile.

“The God that allowed the two of you to experience the beauty of life and love.”

“I’m worried about you, Noah.” He jumped up and walked to me slowly before stopping and running his hands through his hair. “You sound like you’ve turned into Plato or Aristotle or something.”

“I prefer to think of myself as Camus.” I grinned.

“Camus?”

“Albert Camus.” I shook my head. “Oh, big brother of mine. I knew I was smarter than you.”

“I can still beat you up, you know.” Zane laughed and walked towards the door. “You come talk to me when you’re ready to talk.” He paused by the door and looked back at me. “About anything. I’m not going to push you about Mom. I’ve learned how to be patient this last year.”

“Thanks.” I nodded gratefully. “I will.”

“I’ll tell Lucky to hold back as well.”

“That’s okay.” I shook my head. “I know she just cares about you. I don’t want her to think I’m some sort of asshole. It was really hard, you know, to walk away from you and not be able to tell you. Everything in my life seems to be insignificant up until that point. I just want a fresh start now. I want to start a new life, one that isn’t haunted with memories of what has happened since I left.”

“I will do what I can to help.” He paused and looked back at me. “She cares about you, as well you know. If she asks or holds back, it’s because she wants to be a part of your life.”

“I know. I wish I’d met her first.” I joked, and he came back and punched me lightly in the shoulder.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” He laughed, his eyes sparkling. “I’m not sure I would have gotten her if I had to compete with you.”

“We should go jam.” I said, feeling lighthearted. I had missed Zane, really missed him, and I just wanted to be around him and enjoy his company without the pressure of having to have a serious talk.

“You want to?” Zane’s eyes looked up and he grinned. “No Beatles, though.”

“That’s a deal.” I nodded and turned my face away from him. A jab of pain shot through me as I remembered always trying to get him to play and listen to The Beatles. It was one of our only links to our mother, and I wanted to remember every little thing about her. I had tried so hard to get Zane to get rid of his bitterness and hurt. As a child, I knew that one day she would come back to us. I had known it in my heart. She loved us more than life itself. What mother doesn’t love her sons? Something bad had to have happened for her to desert us.

“That was easy.” He looked at me with a question in his eyes. I knew what he wanted to know. He had so many questions and I didn’t really have any satisfactory answers. I was in a tough spot, one I didn’t know how to get out of. I either kept the truth to myself or told him everything I knew. He would eventually resent me and hate me either way. But I’d rather have him hate me than have him hate himself.

I knew what it was like to hate yourself and I didn’t want him to suffer from the same self-inflicted pain that I was. Not if he didn’t have to.

Chapter 4

“I wish that I could see you every day.” Skylar played with my fingers. “And that we lived in the same house.”

“That would be nice.” I nodded and stroked her hair, a feeling of love washing over me. I stared at her face and wondered at the feeling that filled me when I saw her. I’d never experienced this feeling of protectiveness before. It scared me and I was worried that we were getting too close.

“You could move into my house.” She looked up at me hopefully and I shook my head.

“I don’t think so.” I laughed.

“Why not?”

“Because I have to live in my apartment.”

“But you sleep over at my house. You can just always sleep over and never leave.”

“I’m not sure that would work out well.” I smiled at her sadly. I didn’t want to tell her that it was getting harder and harder for me to go over to her house. That in fact, some days I dreaded going over, but I wanted to make sure that she was okay, so I sucked it up.

“One day we can live together.” She nodded to herself. “And you can take care of me.”

“You’d like that would you?” I laughed at her eager expression.

“I’d love that.” She jumped up and down. “I’d be the happiest girl in the world. The very happiest. There would be no other girl in the world as happy as me.”

“Do you want to play a game?” I nodded at the board games on the table. I needed to change the subject. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with emotion and I couldn’t continue the conversation anymore. I felt like I was leading her on to think that her dreams were a possibility. I didn’t know how to explain to her that it would never happen. It could never happen. No matter how much I wanted it as well. She had her own family and they were going to make sure that that never happened. They didn’t care how much they hurt her. And I couldn’t do anything about it because I’d already revealed too much information. I’d been stupid and said too much and I knew that if I reported what was going on, I would be putting Zane in jeopardy.

“I guess so.” She sat back and played with her hair. Her eyes moved away from me and she stared at the floor with a vacant stare. I had no idea what she was thinking about but I had a couple of ideas and it broke my heart to see her in so much pain. But there was nothing I could do to take it away. And that broke my heart into a million pieces.

“Are you nervous?” Lucky turned to me when we pulled into the Johnsons’ driveway.

“It does feel like a bit of a first date.” I laughed. “I have butterflies in my stomach that are dying to break out.”

“I didn’t know that guys got nerves as well,” she said and then laughed along with me.

“Oh, trust me. We get nerves, all right.”

“Are you worried about what they’ll say?” Lucky gave me a concerned look. “I’m sure they’ll just be happy to see you. And Sidney knew you were not really dead, so he shouldn’t be mad at you, right?”

“He won’t be mad about that. He won’t be mad about anything, really. I know he’s disappointed in me for not telling Zane everything about, well, you know, but he’s not mad at me. He understands.” I jumped out of the car. “Sidney is like a dad to me, a dad and a best friend. It’s hard to explain.”

“No, I understand. He’s a good guy.” Lucky nodded. “I’m very fond of him myself.”

“I feel like he’s a kindred spirit, you know?” I looked into her earnest brown eyes and I could see why my brother loved her so much. “He’s been through hell and back in his life and he’s not bitter. I want to learn from him. This documentary has served as a learning and educational experience in more ways than one.”

“It makes me want to cry when he tells me what he went through.” Lucky gave me a weak smile and there were tears in her eyes. “I don’t understand how people can hate others that much.”

“I think it was fear more than hate.” I thought for a moment. “Or fear that simmered and became hate. I don’t really understand how people can hurt others, without being affected themselves. It must take a really coldhearted person to hurt someone they should love.” My words drifted off as I realized I had gotten off topic.

“Yeah.” Lucky looked over at me with questioning eyes. “Hate is a weird emotion. And what it leads people to do. I couldn’t even imagine not having access to to school or to teachers. It just seems unfathomable.”

“Or being spat upon and tormented mercilessly day by day.” I continued her thoughts. “Though it happens today to many children. Too many children are abused mentally, emotionally and physically.”

“I know, I guess they are all just bullies.” Lucky looked disgusted. “People can be really disgusting sometimes.”

“Yes. The targets just change.” I sighed and tried to clear my thoughts. Now was not the time for me to start thinking about Palm Bonita. “But let’s not dwell on the sad right now. Though you’ve given me a good idea. Maybe we can work on a video that talks about the similarities between racism during the times of integration and bullying in schools in modern-day America.”

“That’s a brilliant idea.” Lucky’s eyes blazed with excitement. “I hadn’t even thought of that, but it sounds like an awesome premise.” She reached over and grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I’m so glad you’re back, Noah.”

“I am—”

“Are you guys going to stand out on my front lawn the whole day?” Sidney’s voice boomed out of the front door, and he grinned at me as I turned towards him.

“Oh, God, Noah.” Betty Johnson came out from behind her husband and rushed towards me to give me a hug. “I wouldn’t believe it until I saw you with my own two eyes.” She held me close to her and I could smell the scent of the after-shower splash she used. I hugged her tightly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“I missed you, Betty.”

“For shame, boy.” She shook her head and slapped my upper arm. “You had all of us so worried and upset.” Her words were tight, but I could see the love shining through her eyes as she gazed at me.

“I’m sorry.” I bent my head in shame. “You know that I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

“I know, now come in and have some tea and cookies.” Betty grabbed my arm and led me to the door. “And Lucky, dear, as always it’s a pleasure to see you. You’re looking positively radiant. I’m so excited for you and Zane. When Sidney told me that he finally came to his senses and proposed, I praised the Lord. Even though, I still think you would be perfect for our Noah.”

“Betty!” Sidney admonished her and I laughed easily.

“I agree, Betty. Lucky is the second-most perfect girl for me, after you. Unfortunately, you’re both taken.”

“Oh, Noah. Ssshhhh.” She shook her head but I could see the small smile on her face, showing me that she was happy at my words.

“You sweet talking my wife, boy?” Sidney patted me on the back and his eyes sparkled at me. “You do know she’s a married woman?”

“I can’t help it if she leaves you for me.” I grinned back at him, and my heart filled with affection for him as he gave me a wicked smile.

“Take her, you’ll be doing me a favor.”

“I’m sure Zane would feel the same way.” Lucky laughed. “He’d be only too happy to give me away.”

“That boy would kill Noah if he laid a hand on you.” Sidney growled. “I just got my boy back. I’m not ready to lose him again so quickly.”

“Ha ha. Neither am I.” Lucky squeezed my arm before following Betty into the kitchen. “I’ll leave you two alone for a bit and go and help Betty in the kitchen.”

“So, it’s good to see you.” Sidney gave me a big hug and studied my face. “You look different.” He nodded as if agreeing to a comment someone had made. “You look like a man who has been to the edge of the world and back.”

“Really?” I half-smiled. “Though I do feel like I’ve been to the edge of hell.”

“I’ve missed you.” He sat down on a couch, gripping the arms, and my heart sank as I realized how much thinner he looked. His hair was also completely gray, and as I stared at him, it struck me that he had aged significantly. I felt sad that I had missed a year of his life—a year was such a long amount of time.

“I missed you as well. Thank you for keeping my secret.”

“It was hard. I’m not going to lie. Your brother looked like death warmed up. If it wasn’t for Lucky being there for him, I’m not sure I would have been able to have kept it a secret.”

“I would have understood if you had felt the need to tell him. It wasn’t fair to burden you like that.”

“I was honored that you trusted me enough to tell me.”

“You’re one of my best friends.” I spoke honestly. “I thought about you a lot when I was away.”

“So how was it in Palm Beach?” Sidney gave me a wide smile and his eyes danced with mirth.

“You know, I wish I had been in Palm Beach.” I laughed. “And you’re going to keep at it until I tell you where I was, huh? I was in a city called Palm Bonita, and trust me, Palm Bonita was not a city that would have been featured on Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous.” I shuddered in remembrance. “Though it may have been the set for the Twilight Zone.”

“That great?” He shook his head and smiled before his expression turned more serious. He looked me and up and down slowly and then spoke again. “I can tell it was tough. Your eyes tell a different story now.”

“They do?” I looked at him in surprise. “I didn’t know that my eyes told a story, period,” I said and then laughed.

“Yes.” Sidney sat back and stretched his legs out carefully. “When we first met, your eyes were full of hope, wonder and sadness. Though the sadness was for me and my story. You were sensitive to what I had been through. You were full of compassion and sincerity, but it was for my story. Now that sadness shines through you as if it has also touched your soul. Your eyes have a tinge of bleakness as well, as if your heart has been cracked a little bit. You’re sad now. You’ve seen other sadness, I think, and this sadness has impacted your life.” He squinted at me, and was silent for a moment as he assessed my face again.

“Wow, you’re good.” I said slightly uncomfortable at how easily he had been able to read me. I looked to the side of the room and studied the family photographs on the table. “You never told me you were a psychic.”

“I’ve gone through unspeakable pain. I don’t talk about it much because the past is the past, but real pain. Gut wrenching pain, it never leaves you. And once you’ve been through it, you can tell when someone else has.” His voice was light, but intense. “Did you know that when I was fifteen, my brother dated a white girl? A pretty young blonde girl. She was a nice girl. Very sweet. They used to go to the movies. Well, one day some neighborhood boys from her school found out and they told my brother to stay away from her. My brother, he didn’t listen. We were in the North, you know. We didn’t think we had to worry like in the South. In the South, we wouldn’t have even looked at a white girl. Well, those boys, they didn’t like my brother’s answer. One night after he walked Ellen, that was her name, home, he got jumped by about five boys. Beat him black and blue. His nose was bleeding, his lip was cracked, and we come to find out later that he had a few cracked ribs. Well, my brother didn’t want to make no fuss. He didn’t want to get anyone into any trouble. We found out later that Ellen’s brother was involved in the jumping.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s awful.”

“My brother lost sight in his left eye, and Ellen went on to marry one of the boys that beat my brother up.” Sidney’s voice was sad. “I never could understand how people could be so hateful and vile. That was the incident that broke my trust in humans and their innate goodness. People ain’t all good. That’s what you got to understand. Some people are just evil. There is no reason to it. It’ll break your heart once you realize that. You’ve realized that now. You’ve witnessed the cruelty that exists in some human beings. I can see it in your soul.”

“I have.” I nodded slowly and realized how aptly he had voiced the pain I know felt. Once again I was blown away by how accurate Sidney was in his evaluation of me and his ability to see into my soul and heart. “You’re good.”

“I wish I wasn’t.” He smiled at me sadly. “If there was one person I wished would never experience the cruelty of humans to one another, it would be you, my son. You more than anyone shouldn’t have to feel and witness the evil in the world. For you are all light, my boy. You were the one that made me believe in goodness again.”

“And I’m a good ol’ white boy.” I grinned at him, touched by his words and he laughed.

“Ain’t nothing about color. There be good white men and good black men. And there be bad white men and bad black men. It’s about the person inside. Can’t judge on the exterior.” He looked me in the eyes. “But I know you know that.”

“I wish everyone did.”

“It comes to most of us sooner or later.” Sidney shrugged. “To some it comes on the deathbed. But it comes. I’m lucky I met you. Or I could have spent the rest of my days thinking that all white men be the devil.”

“Or the devil incarnate.” I grinned at him, and he chuckled.

“So tell me what got you looking like your whole world ended.”

“I don’t look that bad, do I?” I made a face, and he shook his head.

“To most of the world, I’m sure you look just fine. Maybe better than fine. But to those of us who love you, you look lost.”

“I met someone in Palm Bonita.” I made a face. “Crazy, right? She was beautiful and sassy and we started dating and at first everything was perfect.”

“What changed?”

“She wasn’t the person I thought she was.”

“She broke your heart?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Not in the way that you think, though.” I sighed and bit my lip before continuing. “I’ve never really been in love. Or I should say, felt love. I’ve always had Zane and loved him, but I’ve never had another person reach that spot in my heart. And in Palm Bonita that changed. I felt an overwhelming and heart-stopping love, and I had to walk away from it, and I’m crushed. And there was nothing I could do. I’ve never felt so hopeless.”

“There’s nothing you can do?”

“Not legally.”

“That’s why you wanted me to contact my son, huh? You’ve got a big heart.” Sidney stared at me, and he looked thoughtful. I had a feeling he understood my vague comments better than I did. It was uncanny how he always seemed to understand what I was thinking or saying without me being very clear.

“Big hearts don’t always get you everywhere.”

“Everyone’s not perfect, Noah.” He leaned towards me. “And not everyone has a big heart. You’re the exception and not the rule, even though I wish that wasn’t true.” He paused, and gave me a look. “But you’re not God, Noah. You can’t protect everyone.”

“You want me to tell Zane.” I sighed.

“He has a right to know. You can’t just hide that from him.”

“You just don’t understand. I think he’ll be devastated if he learns the truth. Growing up, he had so many issues and so much hatred towards our mom. And I just don’t want to see him go through any more unnecessary pain.”

“You can’t not tell him because you’re afraid of how it will affect him. He’s a big boy.”

“I don’t want him to feel any differently about me, either.” I made a face. “I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t want our relationship to change.”

“It’s not your fault, Noah. He’s not going to blame you.”

“It changes everything.”

“It changes nothing.”

“It’s a life-changing piece of information.” I took a deep breath.

“Have you spoken to your mom?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I can’t respect her for what she did.”

“Can’t you forgive her?”

“She wants nothing to do with Zane.” I almost whispered the words. “I don’t know how she can distance herself like that.”

“Love is a funny thing.”

“I can’t accept it.” I shook my head vehemently. “I’ve witnessed first-hand the devastation that comes from not being wanted.”

“It’s a cruel thing to do to a child.”

“I won’t lose two people to that sort of devastation. I don’t want be a witness to two people being heartbroken from the pain and rejection of two people that should love them.” I jumped up as I saw Lucky and Betty approaching the door. “Need any help, ladies?”

“We’re fine, thank you.” Lucky smiled at me gratefully as she walked into the room. She placed the teapot on the table and Betty followed behind her with a tray of cups and saucers. She gasped quickly and rubbed her belly in amazement and I stared at her with a worried expression.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, it’s great. I think I just felt the babies kick for the first time. Come.” She motioned me over to her and grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach. “Let’s see if they do it again.” I stood there waiting for a few moments, but nothing happened. I let go of her stomach, slightly disappointed, and Sidney gave me a look.

“It’s a good thing them babies didn’t kick again, you know how disappointed their papa would have been if he would have heard that news.”

“He’d kill me.” I laughed. “After everything that has happened, this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“You don’t want to break the camel’s back.” Betty poured the tea and handed me a cup. “Not when the camel just started walking again.”

“Zane’s not that crazy.” Lucky shook her head at the offer of a teacup. “I’ll just have water, thanks, Betty.”

“He’s not. But it’s a special moment. I’m sure he’d like to be the first to feel his babies kick.”

“Yeah.” Lucky blushed. “About that, I think I was mistaken.” She giggled. “I think I had gas.”

“Really?” I laughed as a tide of red covered her face.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I think it’s too early for the babies to be kicking. I’ll have to check with the doctor. I’m pretty sure what I felt wasn’t a kick.” She groaned. “Do not tell Zane, please. He’ll never let me live this down.”

“Okay.” I smiled at her and ruffled her hair. “You owe me one.”

“Now, children, are we going to talk about our documentary? Are all systems go now?” Sidney interrupted us and raised an eyebrow at me. “I’ve told my whole family about this film, and everyone in Chicago is waiting to see my ugly mug on the screen.”

“You’re not ugly, Sidney,” Lucky protested while Betty rolled her eyes.

“Don’t play into his act, Lucky.” She sat down next to me and handed me a plate with an assortment of cookies. I took a piece of shortbread and she nodded at me encouragingly to take another piece. “You’re a growing boy, Noah. Another piece of shortbread won’t stay on your hips like it does mine.”

“What about me?” Sidney frowned and leaned forward to grab a cookie.

“You don’t need any cookies.” Betty glared at him. “Think of your cholesterol. You know what Dr. Rothstein said.”

“Dr. Rothstein doesn’t know everything.” Sidney sat back and looked at me with a ‘Well, this sucks’ face.

“He knows more than you do.” Betty scolded him. “And he told you to stay away from cookies, cakes, fried dishes—”

“Yeah, yeah.” He turned towards me. “So, I was thinking that it would be cool if you featured my other wife as well.”

“Excuse me?” I looked at him in confusion.

“I thought you could include my other wife in the documentary.”

“What other wife?” I looked at Betty, who was mumbling under her breath.

“The one I’m going to marry once I divorce Betty for not allowing me to eat the things I enjoy.” Sidney laughed, and Betty shook her head at him.

“I swear, Sidney Johnson, you’re just like a little boy.”

“Well, what do you expect if you keep mothering me?” He rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t mother you if you acted your age and listened to the doctor.”

“Doctors don’t always get it right. Didn’t I tell you how they cut off Louis’s right leg instead of his left because the doctor read the chart wrong? Now instead of only having one leg, he has none. And whose fault was that?” Sidney’s voice rose. “Not Louis’s, I’ll tell you that.”

“Well, it was Louis’s fault that he let his diabetes get so bad that he needed to have any leg cut off.” Betty responded back to him with a stern look, and Lucky and I exchanged a quick smile at their banter. I decided to interrupt the conversation because I had a feeling that it was only going to escalate if I didn’t.

“So, I was thinking that the focus of the documentary could be about identity.” I paused and realized that everyone was staring at me in interest. “Originally, the focus of this documentary was going to be on race and the civil rights movement, but I’ve been thinking and I want to expand our subject matter. Let’s be honest, our current audience is limited. Race is a sensitive subject, and not everyone can relate. Or, let’s be honest, not everyone wants to relate. I want people to understand that we’re all in this together. We all have issues related to poverty and identity and we’ve all faced them in different ways.”

“You haven’t really had poverty issues though.” Lucky looked at me seriously. “And I don’t want to dumb down the documentary because it might make people uncomfortable. Let’s be real here, African Americans have had the worst assimilation experience in the United States.”