Текст книги "The Other Side of Love"
Автор книги: J. S. Cooper
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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 11 страниц)
Chapter 6
“I just want it to be us, Noah. I know you love Zane and he means something to me. But I just want it to be us. You can move here, to France, and we can make up for all the years we’ve lost.” She stroked the side of my face as she looked at me with wide eyes.
“I can’t do that.” I shook my head, trying hard to keep my anger in.
“Be a good boy for your mama.”
“You gave up the right to that title the day you walked away from me and Zane.”
“I already explained that to you, Noah. Your papa almost broke me. I had to get away.” Her breath caught. “I’ve thought about you every day since I’ve been gone.”
“How can you have stopped loving him?” I studied her face bitterly. “What sort of person are you?”
“The connection just wasn’t—”
“You used to take him out. Just him.” I interrupted her accusingly. “You even asked him to look after me.”
“He was always a strong-willed and protective boy. I knew that he would grow up to be an assertive man. I wanted to make sure that you were taken care of.”
“Most people are taken care of by their parents.”
“Your dad never loved me.” She grabbed my hands and looked at me with pleading eyes. “I couldn’t take it. I wanted to take you with me, but I knew he wouldn’t let me.”
“But what about Zane? Didn’t you love him as well?”
“In my own way.” She looked at me sorrowfully, her eyes begging me to understand.
“I can’t believe that you don’t love your own son.”
“He was never my son.”
“I’m getting fed up of waiting around, Lucky.” Zane’s voice was loud as I slipped in the front door. I could hear his voice booming from the kitchen and I paused, not wanting to interrupt what sounded like a tense moment.
“Patience is a virtue.” Lucky’s voice was softer but I could tell that she felt for him. “Give him time.”
“It’s hard. I just want to know. Why wouldn’t he tell me?” He sounded frustrated. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. I want to understand. I mean, I do understand that he thinks he’s protecting me, but shit, I want to know what the fuck is going on. She’s my mom as well. He can’t just keep this shit to himself.”
“It’s obviously important to him.” Lucky paused. “I’m worried about him, Zane. Last week when we were at the Johnsons’, he seemed really sad and alone. I know you don’t think we should try and introduce him to anyone, but I think he needs to get out there. I know he’s your brother and you love him, and I know you’re frustrated and you want answers, but maybe you should think about how this has affected him. It’s been hard for you, yes, very hard. But you have me now. But what does Noah have? Who does Noah have? He’s carrying all these burdens all by himself. It can’t be easy for him.” Lucky’s voice cracked. “I’m actually really worried about him.” Her voice went low, and I couldn’t hear what she was saying.
I leaned against the front door and frowned to myself. They were worried about me, and Zane was getting irritable, which I had expected. He had never been especially patient when we were growing up and frankly, I was surprised that he hadn’t threatened me for more information already. But it was Lucky who had broken my heart. Hearing the worry and despair in her voice as she spoke about me concerned me. I didn’t want her feeling sorry for me or worrying about me. I knew it wasn’t safe for her to be stressed during her pregnancy. I knew I hadn’t been doing a great job of hiding my emotions or my semi-depression, but I didn’t realize I’d been doing as shitty a job as I had been. I knew that I had to do something to make them think I was moving on in my life. I grabbed my phone and slowly exited the house to make a call.
“Hello?” Her voice was soft and questioning.
“Hey, it’s Noah.”
“Hey.”
“The guy you met in the restaurant and jogging the other—”
“I know who you are.” She laughed. “What’s up?”
“You didn’t hang up.” I grinned into the phone.
“Were you expecting me to?” She laughed. “I know I was a bit of a bitch the first day we met, but I did give you my number. Not the other way around.”
“So I was wondering … would you like to come over for dinner one night?” The words ran out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Is that code for ‘come over and have sex’?”
“No, no. Sorry, I meant come over and have dinner with my brother, his fiancée and myself.”
“A meet and greet on the first date.”
“Well, it’s not a date. I mean, argh.” I groaned into the phone. “Sorry, I kind of suck at this.”
“You do suck a lot more than I thought you would.”
“I hope that’s not bad.”
“Were you in a long relationship or something?”
“Not really. But I’ve been in some bad ones.” I sighed and changed the subject. “But you don’t want to talk about that.”
“Yeah, we haven’t even been on a date yet. I don’t want the past relationship talk already.”
“So would you like to come over? For dinner, I mean. Nothing else.” I cleared my throat and shook my head at myself. “I mean, it’s not a booty call or anything. Not that you’re not good enough for a booty call. I’m just not using you as a booty call. But this is just a friendly get-together.”
“I knew you were awkward.” She laughed. “I just didn’t realize how awkward.”
“I’m honestly really not this bad.” I paced back and forth, enjoying our conversation. “I think you just bring out the teenage boy in me.”
“Were you a skinny nerdy teenager?” She laughed. “And you transformed into a muscular hunk?”
“Not really.” I laughed. “I’ve always been a bit of a hunk.”
“That’s what I figured. So why so awkward with me?”
“Maybe it’s because you’re special.” I answered honestly and Robin fell silent. “I didn’t mean special special, just that you’re a good person.”
“We shouldn’t do this.” She spoke thoughtfully and slowly. “It’s not a good idea.”
“What’s not a good idea?” I was worried and slightly angry at her words. “It’s just a dinner.”
“It’s never just a dinner.” She sighed. “You seem like trouble, Noah Beaumont. I don’t need any more trouble in my life.”
“I just want to be friends.” I spoke hurriedly into the phone, feeling slightly panicked. What if she decided not to come to dinner? I hadn’t considered that possibility.
“I don’t think you know what you want.” She paused. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I just don’t know that I can be the person that helps you figure it out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out.” I gripped the phone tightly. “Please come to dinner. It will be fun.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No! Of course not.” I shook my head vehemently and then stopped when I realized she couldn’t see me.
“Did you break up with her or did she break up with you?”
“It was mutual.” My voice was pained as I spoke. I didn’t want to relive the memories of my time in Palm Bonita with her.
“Do you still care about her?” She paused. “Stupid question. I can already tell that you do.”
“What?” I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s okay if you think I’m crazy and intense.” She spoke into the phone hurriedly. “I suppose I am a little bit. Along with being a bitch and slightly neurotic. And a game show fiend. But I can’t get into a relationship or dating situation with someone who is caught up with their ex.”
“I just called to ask you for dinner.” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. “Not to get married.”
“I guess it would be nice to make some new friends,” she said slowly. “If you’re sure you don’t mind having a friend who could be in the loony bin.”
“You’ll fit right in.” I smiled, suddenly happy that we were back on track. “Can you make it tonight?”
“Tonight?” She sounded surprised. “I’m not sure.”
“Please?” I closed my eyes and pictured her face. “It would be nice to see you again,” I said honestly.
“Well, since you ask that nicely,” she laughed, “I’d love to.”
“Great. Shall I pick you up?”
“I can make my way to you. Where do you live?”
“Los Feliz.”
“Oh, fancy.”
“What about you?”
“Los Feliz as well.”
“Oh, well, I guess you’re fancy, too.”
“I’m not sure you could call the apartment complex I live in fancy. Maybe a fancy dump.”
“Well, I live with my brother, and so while his place isn’t a dump, I can’t claim it as my own.”
“I look forward to seeing it.”
“I look forward to seeing you.” I almost whispered into the phone, lightheaded. I was amazed that I was really enjoying the conversation and was anxious to see her again. I hadn’t thought that I could feel so into someone new with the other worries in my mind. A part of me was ashamed that I was allowing light and happiness into my life while Skylar was still stuck in the dark. I shook my head to stop the sad thoughts from creeping in and taking over.
“Well, if you’re a good boy, you may even get a goodnight kiss,” she teased me happily.
“Then I’ll have to be very good.”
“Noah?” Zane opened the front door and stared at me on the phone. “I thought I heard someone outside. You okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’ll be right in. I’m on the phone.”
He looked at me with an almost accusatory stare and I suddenly realized that he thought I was on the phone with Mom. “A new friend of mine is coming over to dinner tonight. We’re just making plans,” I explained to him, and the wariness in his eyes faded.
“Oh, okay.” He stepped back. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
“See you in a minute.” I waited for him to go back in before continuing. “Sorry about that, Robin, my brother came outside.”
“That’s okay. I should get going anyway. Text me your address and what time to be there and I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Sounds good.”
“Shall I bring anything?”
“Just yourself.”
I stood outside for a few minutes after we got off the phone to gather my thoughts. I had initially called Robin to soothe Lucky’s fears and worries, but I was genuinely excited for her to come to dinner. More excited than I should be, but I wasn’t really surprised. I had been attracted to her the first time I’d seen her. And now that I was getting to know her, I was even more drawn to her. I liked her honesty and wit. I liked the way she challenged me and wasn’t afraid to say what she felt. She didn’t seem like she was a girl who was into games. What you saw was what you got. And she seemed like a good person. My heart thudded as I thought about Robin and the feelings that were already developing in me. I was scared. I had been wrong once before. I had allowed sex to manipulate my mind and now I was paying the ultimate price. “They’re not the same.” I muttered to myself. I didn’t want to compare them, but I was already doubting my instincts. What did I really know about Robin? Was I allowing sex to guide me again? I had gotten it wrong before. Very wrong. And now I didn’t know what to think. As I stood there, I thought back to the moment in Palm Bonita when I had realized that maybe she was the bad news she had been warning me about all along.
“You coming?” She’d grabbed my hand and pulled me into the small room besides her. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” I mumbled but followed her in. “Let’s go.” I watched as she went through the drawers and pulled out items of clothing and stuffed them into her bag. “Let’s go.” I said louder this time, hoping she sensed my displeasure and the urgency with which I wanted to leave. “This isn’t cool.”
“You thought it was cool when you thought we were going to have sex in here.” She rolled her eyes at me. “So you’re fine with having sex in a stranger’s house, but not borrowing stuff?”
“You’re not borrowing anything. You’re stealing.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her toward me. “I thought it would be kind of kinky to make love in a stranger’s house, I admit it. But it was a bad idea. Let’s go.”
“Hold on, let me see what she has in the closet first.” She pulled away from me, and her voice was harsh. “I heard she had a Chanel handbag in here somewhere.” She threw clothes on the ground and then I heard her take a sharp breath as she stuffed something in her bag. “Louis Vuitton will do.” She turned towards me with a seductive glance. “Now, if you want to get laid, I’m all yours.” I watched her in horror and lust as she pulled her top off and then pulled her bra off as she walked towards me. “Take me, Noah.”
“No, no. I can’t.” I resisted the urge to grab her and bend her over.
“You know you want to.” She pressed her lips against mine aggressively and I pulled away in distaste.
“No. Let’s go.”
“Fuck me, asshole, or I’ll tell Mr. and Mrs. Smith that you broke in.”
“What?” I looked at her in disbelief.
“I’m joking.” She stepped back and slipped her shirt back on. “Let’s go.” And then we walked out of the back door, just as easily as we had entered. “What do you want to do now?”
“I think I’m just going to go home.” I walked away from her without looking her in the eyes. I felt disgusted with myself, and I couldn’t stop the churning feeling of horror that was seeping into my veins. What we had done hadn’t been sexy or fun. It had been invasive and creepy. Who was I becoming? This wasn’t who I was. But now I was starting to wonder who she was.
“Noah,” she called after me and I turned to look at her slowly, trying to ignore the mixed feelings that rushed through me at her face. “Remember what I said before.” She looked at me coldly as she held a finger up to her lips. I turned away from her and walked away quickly with my heart pounding. I didn’t know what to think or say but all of a sudden I wanted to be anywhere but in Palm Bonita. That night I had insomnia and all I could think of was how disappointed Zane would be with me. And so I went to my stash of cash and slipped $5,000 in an envelope and left it in the Smith’s mailbox. Giving them the cash helped to assuage some of my guilt, but I still felt uneasy. That was the day that I realized that she had an evil side. And I was scared that I had gotten her all wrong.
“You coming in, Noah?” Lucky opened the door and peeked out at me with a smile.
“Yeah, sorry. Just got distracted.”
“So what’s this I hear about a dinner date?” Her voice was excited and happy, and I knew that at least I had gotten one thing right.
“Remember that waitress at the restaurant?”
“The one that didn’t like you?”
“Yeah,” I laughed. “Well she’s coming over to dinner tonight.”
“Tonight!” Her jaw fell open and I could see a million questions in her eyes. “Come inside, we need to decide what to cook.”
“I’m sure whatever you make will be good.” I followed her inside and into the kitchen.
“Whatever I decide to cook?” She laughed and shook her head. “You Beaumont brothers are really incorrigible.” She slipped her arm through mine and smiled up at me. “There is no way I’m cooking the whole dinner tonight. But I’ll help.”
“Please, Lucky.” I gave her a pleading smile and she shook her head.
“Nope. Anyways, it will be more romantic if you cook most of it. Right, Zane?” She looked over at him and he rolled his eyes.
“I have no clue.” He shrugged. “I don’t care who cooks the food as long as it tastes good.”
“Zane.” Lucky frowned at him. “So I guess you don’t want me to cook anymore.”
“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant,” he backtracked quickly and I chuckled.
“Now, now, children. No need to bicker.” I looked down at Lucky and saw the mirth in her eyes as she beamed up at me.
“What about steak?”
“That sounds good.”
“Is she vegetarian, though?” She suddenly frowned.
“I have no idea.” I shrugged. “Should I call and ask her?”
“No, no.” She pursed her lips. “I’m sure she would have said if she was.”
“Who is she?” Zane interrupted us with a confused look. “Who are you two talking about?”
“Robin.” Lucky and I said at the same time and laughed.
“And Robin is who?” Zane looked just as confused, and I caught him glaring at the intersection of my arm with Lucky’s.
“The girl from the restaurant last week.” Lucky detached herself from me and walked over and gave him a big kiss and put her arms around his neck. “I would have thought you would have remembered her, the way you were going on about her.”
“The restaurant?” He kissed her back and ran his hands up and down her back. “Oh, the bitch?” He looked at me in surprise. “I know I joked around and told you she wanted you, but I was just joking, bro, no need to follow up on it.”
“I totally asked her out because you told me she wanted me.” I rolled my eyes at him and then looked at Lucky. “How did he get you? You seem like too smart a girl to fall for my dumbass brother.”
“Watch your mouth.” Zane grinned at me. “She recognized an awesome guy when she saw one.”
“I did?” Lucky blinked. “Where is he?”
“See what you’ve done now, Noah?” He tickled Lucky and she squealed as she tried to get away from him.
“Stop,” she cried out as she laughed. “I need to help Noah.”
“See what you have to look forward to?” Zane pulled Lucky towards him and held her in his arms and kissed her head.
“Doesn’t look so bad.”
“It’s not so bad. She’s not so bad. I think I’ll keep her.”
“Really, Zane Beaumont?” She glared up at him.
“Uh oh. I better leave you guys to it, before she decides to call off the wedding.” Zane made a face and I laughed.
“Have you guys set a date yet?”
“No.” Lucky shook her head. “I can’t decide if we should get married before or after the babies are born.”
“I say we fly to Vegas tomorrow and just get it over with.” Zane grinned. “We could have Elvis serenade us.”
“Yeah, why not?” Lucky rolled her eyes. “Idiot.” She mumbled under her breath and winked at me. “Now let’s talk dinner. How’s about steak, herb-roasted potatoes and a big salad?”
“If I get to make the salad,” I laughed. “Or grill the steak. I have no idea how to make herb-roasted potatoes.”
“So do you like Robin?” Lucky looked at me quizzically. “Like a lot?”
“Lucky, he just met the girl. Give him a chance to get to know her before you have us at a double wedding.”
“I do think I like her.” I nodded slowly. “At least, what I know of her so far seems pretty great.”
“So this may be the first of many dates?” Lucky looked excited. “Like we could go on a double date sometime soon?”
“Slow down, there.” I laughed, and watched as Zane gave me a look as if to say ‘I told you so.’ “Let’s get through this dinner first.”
“She’s very beautiful.” Lucky stared at me. “I mean, she was a bit of a shrew, but she’s beautiful.”
“She apologized to me.” I saw them look at me in surprise. “I saw her the other day when I was running. She’s nice, nicer than that day in the restaurant.”
“It’s the waitresses these days. They think they can talk to you any way that they want.” Zane laughed as Lucky hit him in the arm. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Ass.” Lucky shook her head at him. “But I’m glad you like her. I think she seemed pretty nice.”
“Yeah. I think I’m willing to give it a chance. See where it goes.” I was surprised at the words as they came out of my mouth. I hadn’t realized until that moment that I really was interested in seeing how everything went. “I think it’s time for me to move on with my life.” I smiled at them both briefly. “Now, shall we get cooking?”
“Yes, Zane go and get the …” Lucky started talking, but I was distracted by my ringing phone.
“Excuse me.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “I hope that’s not Robin calling to cancel already.” I joked and then looked at the screen. All the blood drained out of my face as I saw the name flashing on my phone. It was Skylar. My heart stopped for a moment as I stared at the phone. Questions ran through my brain as I hurried out of the kitchen to answer the call.
“Hello.” I whispered into the phone, all thoughts of Robin dropping out of my mind. “Skylar, is that you?”
Chapter 7
“Skylar,” I said again, but then I heard a click and there was dead silence on the other side. I immediately tried to call the number back again, but it just rang and rang without going to voicemail. “Damn it,” I cursed under my breath. My stomach was in knots and I wasn’t sure how I was going to continue on with the night. It was like life didn’t want me to move on just yet. Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea to invite Robin over for dinner. It had been an impetuous invitation and now I was regretting it. I tried calling the number again and nearly threw my phone across the room when she didn’t answer. I was worried. I knew that she wouldn’t call me unless it was important. Unless it was a set-up. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, not knowing what to do. Part of me thought I should just catch a plane to Orlando and then drive to Palm Bonita and do whatever I could to get to Skylar.
“Noah,” Zane walked out of the kitchen and stared at me with a look of worry on his face. “You okay? Who was that?”
“I’m fine.” I gave him a weak smile and started to walk away from him.
“Was it Mom?” His voice sounded angry, and I shook my head as I continued walking. “Was it Mom?” His voice was louder as he followed behind me.
“No.” I turned around and looked him in the eyes. “No, it wasn’t.”
“She has your number, though?”
“Yes.” I couldn’t lie to him, even though I wanted to.
“And she calls you?” His eyes looked bleak and I didn’t want to have this conversation now, but I was angry and annoyed.
“Yes, she calls me. But I’m not talking to her anymore.”
“Well, I’m glad you have that option.” He looked angry and confused. “You’re going to have to forgive me if I’m being a jackass here, but what the fuck is going on? I really don’t understand it. Our mother won’t say jack shit to me even when I fly halfway across the world to see her. Yet she’s calling you every fucking Friday and telling you how much she loves you?”
“That wasn’t her.” I shook my head. “And she doesn’t call me often. She hasn’t called me in a while. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in over a year.”
“Why not? You’re the brother who always wanted to find her. Why haven’t you set up a big family reunion already to show me that you were right all along and dear old Mummy was back?”
“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was best for us not to find her.” I stared into his eyes, willing him to see and understand where I was coming from. “She doesn’t know the meaning of right and wrong, Zane. She doesn’t know what true love is. We were better off without her. We still have each other.”
“Well, she clearly wants you and her new son. What am I? Pig fat?” He walked towards the front door. “I can’t do this right now. I’m going out.”
“Wait.” I touched his shoulder. “Don’t be like that.”
“Why not?” He glared at me and brushed my hand off of him. “You’re clearly not in a talking mood.”
“I’m sorry.” I took a big breath. “And I’m really confused right now. I could really use your support right now.”
“What’s wrong?” He froze and looked at me with a worried expression. “Are you sick, Noah?”
I shook my head, unable to speak, as he stared at me with extreme love and concern. My heart swelled for the man who was my brother and best friend. The man who looked out for me even when he was hurt inside. The man I knew would do anything for me; actually, had done everything for me. And I knew that I couldn’t take the easy way out. I knew that the easy way out might make it better for me, but it would break his heart and I couldn’t do that.
“Are you gay?” He continued. “Is that why you’re confused? You know I will love you no matter what, right? I told Lucky not to push you into getting a girlfriend. I’m so sorry, bro, I never meant for you to—”
“Zane, I’m not gay.” I laughed and shook my head in amusement. “Though, I do appreciate your support if I was.”
“I was about to say, my gaydar is totally off.” He laughed along with me, and for a few moments we had an easy camaraderie.
“I met someone in Palm Bonita. I told you that already.” I paused. “But it’s a lot more complicated than I told you about.”
“Oh, shit.” Zane’s eyes widened. “Did you get her pregnant?”
“No.” I rolled my eyes. “And to be fair, that’s a bit of a funny question coming from you.”
“Huh?” He looked at me blankly and then laughed. “Well, you know. I’m the older brother. It’s okay if I make mistakes.”
“I heard that, Zane.” Lucky’s voice called out from behind us. “It’s nice to know our babies are your mistake.”
“I didn’t mean that.” Zane made a face at me and then looked at Lucky with pleading eyes. “You know I love you and our babies.” He continued and Lucky groaned, and smiled at me.
“Uh huh.”
“That was just a foot-in-mouth moment.”
“You mean it was a that-shouldn’t-have-been-heard-by-the-fiancée moment!” She walked over to him and socked him in the shoulder. “You’re lucky that I’m not going to get mad at that comment.”
“You’re not?” He grinned at her happily.
“No,” She smiled at me. “But only because Noah is trying to tell you something and you haven’t given him the opportunity to get it out.”
“But you’re the one that keeps talking.” He frowned at her. “Not me.”
“You’re talking right now.”
“But you’re talking right now as well.”
“But you just continued talking, even though you know Noah is waiting.”
“So did you.” He stuck his tongue out at her and she leaned in to kiss him. “Don’t start something you can’t continue.” He whispered as his arms circled her and I groaned at them.
“You two need to get a room.” I shook my head and Lucky disentangled herself from Zane and walked over to me.
“Not right now, we don’t. You guys need to go and talk about whatever’s bothering you.” She pushed me towards Zane. “Go in the living room. I’ll get dinner ready.”
“But what about the salad?”
“You’ll make it next time.” She smiled at me gently. “And trust me, I’ll hold you to that.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” She smiled again before walking back towards the kitchen and my heart filled with even more love for her. It was weird that I had only known her for a few weeks, because she already felt like my family.
“Wait.” I called out to her and she turned around with a surprised look.
“Yes?”
“I want you to come in the living room as well. I want to tell you both what I have to say.” I looked at them back and forth and felt waves of happiness and jealousy wash over me as I saw Lucky and Zane exchange a look of love and joy.
“Really? Are you sure? You don’t have to tell me.”
“You’re my family now, Lucky. I want you to know. Plus, I’m sure Zane would tell you anyways.”
“No, he would never break your confidence,” Lucky protested, but I held up my hand to stop her.
“I don’t mind if he does. Not with you. You’re the woman he loves, the mother of his unborn children, shoot, you’re the mother of my niece and nephew. I want him to tell you. You shouldn’t have secrets. Not with the one you love. Not with your life partner.”
“You sound like you’re talking from experience, bro,” Zane questioned me and I sighed as I walked to the living room with them and we all sat down. I took a deep breath before beginning. I held up my phone and started, “The phone call I got just now was from a girl named Skylar. She’s a girl that I met in Palm Bonita. She’s the girl I can’t stop thinking about. The girl who makes me wish I could move mountains.” I paused and gave them a rueful smile. “She’s the girl who made me realize that love and family isn’t based on bloodlines and that it isn’t always pretty. She’s also the girl who hates me with all her heart.” I looked at the floor then and took a deep breath. My heart was beating so quickly that I thought that I was going to have a heart attack. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and that the pain in my chest might end my life before I had a chance to do anything meaningful.
“What happened in Palm Bonita, Noah?” Zane’s expression was as soft as his tone and I wondered at how he was able to go from angry to caring in mere minutes.
“When I arrived in Palm Bonita, I met a girl. She was exciting and carefree and we got into a relationship pretty quickly.” I sighed. “It wasn’t something I had planned or wanted, but I was angry at the situation I was in, and I was missing you and my life. I needed something to take the time and pain away. She offered me solace, in and out of the bed. And I jumped at the chance to get away, mentally and physically, from everything that was going on.” I paused to make sure that I wasn’t going too fast. “But she wasn’t who I thought she was.”
“She wasn’t?” Lucky prodded after a long silence.
“No.” I shook my head.
“How so?” Lucky’s eyes were wide.
“For one, she was married.” I saw Lucky’s mouth drop open and Zane gave me an amused look. “She wasn’t living with the husband or anything. She was actually in Palm Bonita because she wanted to get away from him.”
“That’s not so bad, then.” Lucky gave me an encouraging look. “If you thought she was going to get divorced.”
“I didn’t even know she was married until the end.” I shrugged. “Though all the signs were there.”
“Is that why you broke up?” Lucky asked again and then bit her lip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that …”
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “But no, that’s not why we broke up. I realized she wasn’t the person I thought she was.”
“Because she lied to you about being married?”
“No. You would think that would be it, right?” I chortled to myself, not believing that I was actually talking about everything.
“So what was it?” Zane’s voice was impatient and I held back a laugh. Trust my brother to want to get to the meaty part of the story right away.
“There was this girl, another girl in town. Well, she and I became friendly. More than friendly, and I developed feelings for her.” I paused, not sure how to continue with the story. “Well, the girl I was dating didn’t like that. And she treated the new girl badly.” I knew that I was being vague, but for some reason I didn’t want to tell them everything about our relationship. It was too close to home and too painful.
“So you cheated on your girlfriend?” Lucky looked at me in disappointment.
“He can’t cheat if she’s married.” Zane gave her a look and I felt a surge of love toward him for sticking up for me.
“I didn’t cheat.” I said emphatically. “In fact, we continued dating. I thought I could convince her to treat the other girl better. But it backfired. And I found out that I had ruined everything.” I closed my eyes as I thought about the bleakness in Skylar’s eyes as she realized that I wasn’t going to be her savior. That no matter how much I wanted to be the one to save her from her life, I couldn’t. I think both of our hearts broke that day. And there was nothing either one of us could do to change the facts. It was harder for her to accept because she still had faith and believed in miracles. But I knew that there wasn’t going to be a miracle; there would be no parting of the Red Sea. I was no Moses.
