Текст книги "Never Say Never"

Автор книги: Emily Goodwin

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Chapter 18

“There’s a shotgun in the back,” she blurts.

“What?” I say, still not used to Americans and their guns.

“Under the seat. It’s loaded. If we need it, it’s there.”

I nod and look in the side mirror. Whoever is coming up behind us is going fast. It can’t possibly be that wanker, but if it is, let him try to stop us. I’ll hit him again and knock him out cold this time. He deserves all that and more.

The car zooms up then passes us. I let out a breath of relief. “We’re good,” I say. The adrenaline starts to wear off, and I’m feeling tired and sore. My chest hurts and a hot shower and a cup of tea sound good right now. I roll my neck and blink a few times, trying to stay awake and alert.

“What are you going to do with the horse?” I ask.

“Clean him up the best we can, give him something for pain, and a little bit of hay. The vet will be out tomorrow to examine him further.”

“I’ve never seen anything so horrible.”

“He’s not even the worst,” she says. “People are cruel. People are animals’ greatest enemies.”

“But people like you are their heroes.”

“I guess so,” she says softly, and I can tell this is emotional for her. I slide my hand onto her leg again. I close my eyes, seeing the torn flesh, the bloody fur, and the infected wounds. She was right. People are cruel.

My eyes flutter open and closed the rest of the way back to her house. I’m tired, and each breath hurts.

“Aiden,” she says softly when she parks the truck and trailer near her barn.

I inhale and turn to her. “Yeah?”

“Go upstairs and go to bed. I might be out here for a while.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Really, I won’t let you. You’ve done enough and you’re sick. I’m demanding that you sleep.” She smiles and opens the truck door. The dome lights turn on, and I can see a slight bruise on her cheek. I should have knocked that motherfucker out sooner.

“I won’t be able to sleep,” I say honestly. “I have really bad insomnia, so I’ll just lie awake for hours. I might as well help you.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. I’ve learned to deal with it.” I unbuckle. “How can I help?”

“Honestly, Aurelia needs some one-on-one time.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re just making me do that because it’s easy.”

“Maybe. But she really does.” She smiles and gets out of the truck. I meet her at the back of the horse trailer. She waits for Judy and Alexis to open the door and bring the horse inside. She gives Judy a look that says it all: they’re not sure what to expect when they open the trailer door.

Haley swallows hard then unlocks the door. She lifts up the latch and hesitates before swinging the large door open. The large horse is leaning against the trailer wall, holding up his injured leg. Haley goes in the trailer and tries to get the horse to back out. He doesn’t move. She takes his head in both of her hands and kisses his fur.

“Come on out, big guy. I have a comfy stall for you to sleep in tonight.”

She’s so gentle, so patient, and so kind. After a few minutes of trying, the horse limps out of the trailer and is in the stall at the end, next to Phoenix. The other horses whinny and show more curiosity than I thought they could. I never realized how aware horses are of, well, everything. Haley pulls a horse blanket off a rack, shakes out the dust, and sets it in Aurelia’s stall.

“Go snuggle with my baby,” she says with a half smile. “Please?”

“Of course,” I say, and I’m compelled to kiss her. “Can I help you with anything before?”

She’s about to say no, but I flash her a look that says not to bullshit me. “You can fill a hay bag.”

“Hay bag?”

“Yeah.” She crosses the barn and goes into a room I think she’s called the tack room before. “This,” she says as she holds up a large canvas bag. “It makes it so the horses eat slowly. The new guy was starved, so his food intake has to be slowly introduced. He can have a bit of hay tonight and then a diet will be worked out with the vet tomorrow.”

“I can do that.” I say, taking the bag from her. “Then what do you do?”

“Clean the wounds the best I can. He’s got so many, and his fur is so ragged and long. I think he has Cushings, actually.”

“Cushings?”

“It’s a thyroid—never mind. It’s a disease that can be treated with medication, and it makes a horse not shed.”

“Oh,” I say, remembering what she said about special needs horses being tough to place. “I think he’s in good hands now.”

“Thanks,” she tells me, and she goes into the horse’s stall. That girl—Alexis, I think—is in there, ready to help Haley clean the wounds. I open the bag and start stuffing hay inside.

“Is that really Aiden Shepherd from the Batman movies?” Alexis asks Haley, her voice a loud whisper.

Haley flicks her eyes in my direction, smiling. “Yes,” she says proudly. “He is.” I know she’s not proud of my acting, proud in a way that was really bragging about being with me. She was proud of me, the real me, and it’s been years since anyone looked at me that way. I stuff more hay in the bag then tighten the strings.

Watching Haley tonight makes me want to say those three words I wanted to say after we had sex. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve had more girlfriends in the last few years than I’ve had in my whole life before being famous, and I never told anyone of them I loved them, because I never fell in love with any of them. Not even Kennedy, and we were together for over half a year. I’ve only known Haley for a little over a month and I’ve already fallen for her. What. The. Fuck.

I pick up the bag and slowly walk over, my chest hurting. A chill goes through me, and I’m positive the fever is back.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Alexis asks as Haley opens a package of gauze.

“Uhh,” Haley starts and turns, not realizing I’m so close behind her. I set the hay bag down outside the stall and look into her eyes.

“Yes,” I say. “I am. As long as she doesn’t mind, that is.”

Haley smiles, and the dim light in her eyes brightens. “I don’t mind at all.”

“Wow,” Alexis says, and I see that dying fangirl hurt in her eyes. I’ve seen it many times before. “My friends are not going to believe this.”

“Uh, Alexis,” Haley says. “Can you not tell anyone Aiden helped us steal the horse, or punched that guy?”

“Why?” she asks, her eyes wide with confusion. “He saved you, which is so totally something Gavin would do in Shadowland.” She flashes her braces as she smiles. “It’s so romantic.”

I smile at her. “Can I bribe you with a picture and an autograph?”

Alexis’s mouth drops, and she stares at me for a few seconds before nodding and running her hands over her hair. She moves out of the horse stall with her phone in her hand. Haley straightens up and offers to take the photo. If I look how I feel, then she’s not going to be proud of this photo. I hate bad photos of myself, but I don’t really care. The sooner I get this over with the better. I’m chilled and want to lie down with Haley in my arms.

Alexis jumps around with excitement, chattering away about sending the picture to her friends to make them jealous. I laugh, run my hand through my hair, and go into Aurelia’s stall. Haley was right: this little girl is in need of attention. She rubs against me and prances, trying to get me to play. After a few minutes, she settles down again and lies down with her head in my lap. I fold the horse blanket over both of us, trying not to shiver.

I lean against the stall and close my eyes, listening to Haley, Alexis, and her mom, Judy, talk about the horses and go about taking care of them all. I’m almost asleep when they get ready to leave at least an hour later.

“Haley,” Judy says. They are near the barn door, but I can hear them just fine. “How are you doing, honey?”

“I’m fine,” Haley says right away. “Getting there,” she adds then sighs. “Some days are harder than others.”

Clothing rustles, and I assume Judy pulls her in for a hug. “Your mother was my best friend for over thirty years. I miss her too.”

A few seconds pass before Haley softly says, “I feel like she’s here, in the barn.”

“She is,” Judy says back, her voice tight with emotion. “She’s way too stubborn to leave this place.” They both laugh. “You know, if you need anything, we’re just a phone call away.”

“I know. And thank you.”

“I mean it, don’t hesitate to call. And whenever you’re ready, I got a teenager who loves to clean stalls.”

“I bet she misses it,” Haley says, and I wonder if Alexis used to come here and help with the horses.

“She does, but she’s in no rush to get back. You take your time, honey.”

“Actually,” Haley starts. “I could use the help. And Shakespeare really needs to be ridden.”

“She’ll love that. Just let us know when.”

“I’ll figure something out. Thanks, Judy.” They walk out of the barn. I open my eyes only to close them again. My head hurts so fucking bad from the light.

“How did you meet an actor?” Judy asks, getting my attention. I sit up.

“Through work, oddly enough,” Haley says.

“He seems to really care about you, coming out and staying in the barn when he’s sick.”

I imagine Haley’s modest smile. “I hope so, because I really care about him.”

“I think your mother would approve of that one.”

“Maybe,” Haley says, and the doubt in her voice kills me. “Thanks for all your help, Judy.”

A car door shuts and then the engine starts. Gravel crunches under tires, and Haley comes back into the barn.

“Aiden?” she says softly. “Are you awake?”

“I’m not sure,” I mumble. Aurelia’s door slides open and I can feel Haley’s energy as she draws near.

“Your cheeks are flushed,” she says as she presses her hand to my forehead. “Shit, Aiden, you’re burning up!”

“I feel like it,” I admit. “Even though I’m so cold.”

“I’m getting you inside,” she says, and she helps move Aurelia off me. She snuggles into the blanket. I let Haley pull me to my feet, and I sway a bit, feeling like I’m drunk but without the fun. “I’m so sorry, Aiden. I shouldn’t have made you come.”

“You didn’t make me,” I say, putting my arm around her.

“Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t force you to stay here and rest.”

I laugh and kiss the side of her head. We walk through the yard and into the house. I sit at the kitchen table while Haley gets a thermometer.

“One hundred and two!” she exclaims when it beeps. “Aiden, you’re really sick.”

I nod. “I was feeling okay, then it hit me all at once.”

She gives me two pills and a glass of water. “We never ate dinner, either. Gah, I feel so awful!”

I pop the pills in my mouth and take a long drink of water. “Don’t, Haley.”

“I do. What do you want for dinner? I can make soup. And by make, I mean heat up something from a can.” She smiles and stands behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders. She massages my muscles, which are stiff from being hunched over. “Or I can cook something. It’s up to you.”

“Soup is fine,” I say, tipping my head back a bit. “Do you have tea?”

“Uh, maybe. You drink tea?”

“I am British.”

“Oh, right.” She pushes her hands forward, running them down my chest, and bends over, kissing my neck. It’s amazing how badly I want her all over again, despite feeling like complete and total shit.

I fold my arms on the table and lay my head down while Haley moves around the kitchen. She drapes a blanket over my shoulders before we eat. It’s been a while since anyone has taken care of me like this. I forgot how nice it is.

After I eat, Haley gets me another cup of tea and ushers me upstairs into her room. Her bed, which is centered in between two windows and directly across from the door, is neatly made. She pulls the bedspread back then turns to me.

My head is pounding, each breath hurts, and I’m shivering. But I feel happy, completely happy. My arms go around her, and she hooks her fingers under the hem of my shirt. I lift my arms, letting her pull it off. She undoes my trousers next, slowly moving them down my legs. I step out of them and fall back into bed.

“Aren’t you getting in with me?” I ask her as she tucks me in.

She holds up her arms. Blood and dirt speckle her skin. “I need to shower. I think I have pus in my hair.”

“Attractive,” I say, and I close my eyes. Haley is going to take her clothes off and get wet in the shower. I want to go with her. I want to watch water stream down her naked body, feel her skin slippery beneath my hands. Getting out of bed, lifting her up, and pressing her against the shower wall while I fuck her isn’t something I can do right now. Fuck. I know I’m sick. Really fucking sick. “Hurry?”

“Of course.” She grabs clothes and leaves the room. Chrissy jumps up in bed next to me, turning around and lying on my feet. Chills plague me; I bring my legs up to my chest and pull the blanket over my head, shivering.

It feels like forever has passed before Haley joins me. She’s wearing a tank top and shorts, and her damp hair is pulled into a French braid. She turns off the lights and crawls into bed, thinking I’m asleep. She pulls the blanket back over both of us and puts her hand on my bicep.

“Goodnight, Aiden,” she whispers.

“Goodnight, Haley,” I whisper back.

Chapter 19

Aiden is fast asleep when I get up at seven thirty the next morning. I meant to get up earlier to check on the new guy, but leaving Aiden was harder than I expected. He held me in his arms the whole night.

I quickly get dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and hurry to the barn. Shakespeare, Benny, Sundance, and Aurelia all whinny to me.

“I know, guys, I’m late,” I say, sweeping my eyes to the end of the barn. My heart skips a beat. Phoenix is standing in the back of her stall like normal, but I don’t see the gray gelding. I close my eyes and prepare myself. He was in bad shape, gone through hell and back. If he was gone, his suffering was gone too.

I walk down the barn aisle, pins and needles shooting down my spine. I stop outside the draft horse’s stall and force myself to look inside. He’s lying down, injured leg out to the side. For a split second, I don’t see his sides rise or fall, and I think he’s dead. I gasp, and it startles him enough to flick his ears. With a grunt, he lifts his head.

“Oh, thank God,” I say, and I let out a breath. “You scared me!”

I take another look at him then start feeding the other guys. I brush Benny and Sundance, give everyone feed, brush Shakespeare while he eats, then let Sundance and Benny out in the back pasture, and Shakespeare and Aurelia out in a smaller area. I watch closely, ready to run in if I need to. Shakespeare’s been through a few foals and colts before. He likes them, and he’s just a special horse, but you never know. After I’m sure they are fine together, I give Phoenix her medication, change her bandages, and take her outside. I let her graze for a bit while I pet her, then put her back in her stall, check on the new guy—again—and go inside.

Aiden’s phone is on the table, ringing when I go inside. I miss the call by the time I get to it, and see that Claire, his assistant, has called twice already. I take the phone upstairs for him.

“Aiden?” I say softly and stand in the doorway of my room. He’s sprawled out in bed with the blankets pulled up over his face. I smile and turn away, not wanting to wake him up. He is sick and needs the sleep. Plus, he said he has a hard time sleeping, so waking him just seems unnecessary. The phone rings, and I scramble to silence it but end up answering instead.

It’s Claire again, and I can hear her saying Aiden’s name. I dash down the stairs before I answer.

“Hello?” I say into the phone.

“Who is this?” she rushes out. “How did you get this phone?”

“It’s Haley,” I say, reminding myself her anger is out of devotion to Aiden. “Aiden is sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him up.”

“Oh, Haley the journalist?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Good.” She lets out a breath. “How is he? Does he need anything?”

I smile, thinking about Aiden up in my bed, wearing nothing but boxers. “He’s okay, still has a fever and still coughing, but okay. And, uh, he probably needs clothes, a toothbrush, and whatever medicine he’s supposed to be taking.”

“I’ll bring it over as soon as I can. Do you need anything?”

“Uh,” I start, totally shocked she’s asking me. Did looking after Aiden’s love interests come with the job? “No, but thank you. I’m good. I have everything I need.”

“All right. Tell Aiden I’ll be there soon.”

“I will. Bye.”

I set his phone down and make breakfast. While the cinnamon rolls are cooking, I get a cup of coffee and go through yesterday’s mail. Ugh. I have another hospital bill. I toss it on the counter, shaking my head. I’ll deal with it later.

I sip my coffee, watching Aurelia run around, her spindly legs moving as fast as they can. I don’t want to think about all that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, even though most of that is good.

I want things to work between us, and after everything, I feel guilty doubting Aiden. But how can this work? Not only does he live far away, but he lives in another world, where the reality is lavish parties and paychecks so big they could buy a house.

The timer on the oven goes off, and I get up to take the rolls out. I set one on a plate for Aiden and stick it back in the oven to keep it warm. Just thinking about him makes me smile. What the hell, right? He makes me happy. I should enjoy it while it lasts, because it will be over before I know it.

I’m in the barn with Dr. Wells and two vet techs when Claire arrives. We’ve been debriding the many, many wounds on the new guy after we did the same to Phoenix. Dr. Wells doesn’t come out and say it, but I can tell by the little lines of worry around her eyes that she expected Phoenix to heal faster than she is.

The new horse is a trooper. Unlike Phoenix, he has a drive to live. He looks at me with hope in his eyes. He’s in bad shape—it took nearly an hour to get the rest of the barbed wire out of his leg. Skin had grown over some of it and had to be clipped and sliced away. Luckily there wasn’t too much muscle damage, and Dr. Wells didn’t think the infection got into the bone. She took vials of blood to take back with her and test, which would tell us more.

He is badly infected, of course, and is on antibiotics. Dr. Wells gave him a bag of fluids via IV to rehydrate him, and we worked out a diet plan. I have to call the farrier and make sure doing another horse’s hooves was okay. The one who had come out a few times since Mom passed did it as a pity favor. It is hard finding someone as good as Mom, and it’s hard finding someone who’s willing and able to take on a horse with years of neglected hoof care.

I’m holding the gelding’s head, calmly talking to him, when Shakespeare whinnies a hello to someone. I hear the car pulling into the driveway seconds later. I tell Dr. Wells I’ll be right back and hurry out of the barn to get Claire before she rings the doorbell and wakes up Aiden.

She gets out of the car and looks around, pulling her shoulder-length red hair out from under the strap of her giant purse. She opens the door behind her and grabs a black leather duffle bag.

“Hi,” I say, and she startles. “Claire, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, running her eyes over me and raising an eyebrow. I cast my eyes downward and realize I’m speckled with blood from taking care of the gelding’s wounds. Her lips tighten into a smile. “And you’re Haley.”

“Yep, that’s me.”

“Where is Aiden?”

“He’s upstairs, still sleeping. Well, I assume so. I’ve been in the barn for a while. You can come in and see him if you want,” I say, because Claire is looking at me like I’m a super-fan who has Aiden tied up in my bed against his will. “Just let me get the dog so she doesn’t bark and wake him up.”

She nods and follows me in. I open the door and grab Chrissy’s collar. “She’s very friendly,” I say as I step inside. Claire comes in, holding out her hand to Chrissy.

“Aww, I had a border collie when I was a kid,” she says, and the air between us changes instantly. “She looks just like her.” She sets the bag and her purse down and gets on her knees to pet Chrissy. “You’re making me homesick, sweetheart.” Chrissy licks her face.

“Sorry,” I say as I pull her back. “She just loves everyone.”

“It’s okay,” Claire says, wiping her face. “I miss having a dog.”

“You can’t now?”

She sighs and stands up. “It’s hard when I travel a lot.”

Oh, right. She goes wherever Aiden goes. I wonder how much he pays her. With everything she does, it should be a lot. Why would anyone want to be a celebrity’s personal assistant? Other than what I’ve seen in The Devil Wears Prada three times, I have no idea what PAs actually do.

“I don’t hear him, so I’m assuming he’s still asleep,” I tell Claire as I walk through the mudroom and into the kitchen. We quietly go up the stairs. I crack my bedroom door open, using my foot to hold Chrissy back. Aiden is on his back with the covers kicked off and wrapped around his feet. He’s a little wheezy as he breathes, but he’s still sleeping.

We step back and I close the door. “He didn’t take anything?” she asks as we go back down the stairs.

“No, was he supposed to?”

“Oh no, just wondering,” she says quickly. “He doesn’t sleep in without—I mean, he doesn’t sleep in that often.”

“Oh, uh, well, I don’t plan on waking him up. And if he wants to stay, I’m going to force him to watch movies and rest.”

Claire smiles. “That’ll be good for him.” We reach the bottom of the stairs and she turns, looking at the blood on my shirt once more. “What were you doing out there?”

“I got a new rescue,” I say, careful not to mention Aiden. “One of his legs was wrapped tightly in barbed wire, and we had to cut his skin to get it out.”

She shudders. “Oh, poor thing. I’ll let you get back to it. If you two do go out, tell Aiden to call Frank to escort you. All of Aiden’s medicine is in a little black zipper pouch in his bag. Make sure he takes it, please?”

“I will,” I tell her and walk her out. I go back to the barn and see Dr. Wells stitching up what she can on the gelding’s leg. A half hour later, she’s packing up to go and says not to worry about the bill just yet. It’s a nice gesture, but I know what that means: it’s going to be fucking expensive.

A knot forms in my stomach, and I hate thinking that I shouldn’t have taken him in. Mom would never turn away a horse. She’d find a way to make it work. I sigh and finish my barn chores. Maybe I can write freelance articles or start giving riding lessons again. I have expensive show tack that I doubt I’ll use anytime soon. If I sold it close to what I paid for it, I might be able to cover the cost of today’s barn call.

“Don’t worry, guys,” I whisper to Phoenix and the gelding. “I’m not giving up on you.”

I click my phone into the speakers and flip through my iTunes. I’ve been listening to a lot of slow, sad music lately since it fits my mood. But today, I go for something a bit more lively. I keep the volume low so as to not disturb Aiden, who is still upstairs sleeping, and start unloading the dishwasher. Once I get the kitchen clean, I know I should move on to the rest of the house. I haven’t swept or dusted in way too long, and clumps of black Chrissy fur have built up around the molding. The house is in need of a good deep cleaning.

All I want to do is take a shower and collapse into bed with Aiden. I sigh. That will have to wait. I bend over to pull a spoon out from the middle of the dishwasher that fell out and got stuck on the drain. Hands land on either side of my ass.

I straighten up, smiling as I turn. Aiden’s lips curve up and his arms slide around me. I set the spoon down and hook my hands around his shoulders. He’s wearing boxers and nothing else. I step in, feeling the warmth of his skin.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

He holds me tight against him. “A little better, actually. I haven’t slept that long and uninterrupted in God knows how long.”

He leans over, resting his forehead against mine. “Then you really are sick,” I say. “You still feel a little feverish too.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s what helped me sleep.”

“What was it, then?”

“You.”

“I’m so boring I made you fall asleep?”

He laughs softly. “The biggest bore.” His lips brush against mine and I shiver. “Really, it’s quite the opposite. I feel so…I don’t know…comfortable around you.” He turns his head. “I can’t explain it. Being with you just feels right…if that makes sense.”

I close my eyes and shove my heart back into my chest. “It does, because I feel the same way.” We stay wrapped in each other’s arms for a few seconds before Aiden starts coughing. “Sit,” I tell him. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

With a sigh, he breaks away and sits at the table. It’s after eleven, and he still looks tired. The housework can wait. Today I’m taking care of Aiden.

“Claire brought you clothes and your medicine,” I say, and I heat up two cinnamon rolls. I fill the teakettle with water and flick on the burner. “Want me to get the medicine for you?” I ask.

“Sure,” he says as he leans back. The black duffle bag is on the table across from him. I unzip it and root through the clothes. She packed him a lot—way more than he’d need for the rest of today. I can’t help but hope he stays with me again tonight. I find the bag of pills and put it on the table, taking a seat as I open it.

There are at least half a dozen pill bottles. I pause, staring into the bag. There are several painkillers—all narcotics, I should add—a half-full bottle of Xanax, a full bottle of Ambien, another one of Adderall, and another bottle that’s unmarked. I swallow the lump rising in my throat. His name isn’t on all the prescription bottles either.

“Why do you have so many pills?” I ask, the question rolling off my tongue before I can stop myself. I already know the answer.

I set the bottle of antibiotics on the table and look at Aiden. He shrugs, not making eye contact. “I just like to be prepared,” he says.

I grind my teeth, concerned. “Some of these shouldn’t be taken together. You know that, right?”

He raises an eyebrow incredulously. “I didn’t know journalists were qualified to give medical advice. In fact, they aren’t, so keep your comments to yourself.” His tone is dry, and he glares at me.

My eyes widen at the way he’s talking to me. “I took two semesters of pharmacology,” I retort. “And that’s not medical advice. It’s common sense.”

He lets out a breath. “Sorry, Haley. I just…”

I open the bottle of antibiotics after reading the directions and fish one out. I slide it across the table to Aiden. “It’s okay,” I say softly. “You should eat before you take this. It says to, anyway.” I get up and busy myself with making tea for him.

“How’s the horse?” he asks before taking a sip of tea. “Did the vet come yet?”

The air shifts and things feel okay between us again. “Yeah, she just left a little bit ago, actually. And I think he’s gonna pull through. I can tell he wants to.”

I get us both cinnamon rolls and sit next to Aiden. “That’s good. I was honestly a little worried I’d wake up and you’d tell me he didn’t make it.”

“I always worry when I go out in the barn. A lot of times Mom or I would stay with a new rescue the first night. Not only to watch them, but to make them feel comfortable.” I sigh, pain twinging inside me. He reaches for my hand.

“You’re doing good,” he whispers. “Really.”

“Thanks,” I say, not believing him. “It’s a lot to get used to, right?”

He nods. “And a lot of responsibility that you take on by yourself now. I know I told you before, but you impress me. I want to help you, Haley. Really, just tell me what I can do and I’ll do it. There’s something special about you, and I want to make you happy, I want to see you smile. I’ve never wanted to do that for anyone else. I know we haven’t been together that long, but I care about you a lot, Haley.”

His words are like wind, blowing and stirring the broken pieces of my heart. They get caught on the breeze and precariously settle into place. The cracks are still there, mapping out lines of pain and reminding me how fragile I really am. “Aiden…” I start, looking into his eyes. “I…I…I don’t know what to say.”

He laughs. “Telling me you feel the same is a good start.”

I smile and nod. “Okay, I can do that. And I do. Really. It freaks me out how much I like you, honestly.”

“Why?” he asks, dark eyes narrowing just a bit. Did I offend him?

I bite my lip and shake my head. “I don’t know.” I take in a breath, knowing I’m ruining another perfect moment between us. I hate myself for it. “It just kind of scares me.”

His lips pull down and he squeezes my hand again. “Well, it doesn’t has to.”

“I’m trying,” I whisper.

He leans closer. “Don’t try, Haley. I don’t want you to try to like me. I want you to like me because not liking me is too hard to do.”

I smile. “You’re making that part easy.”

“Good.”

He holds my gaze for a beat then turns his head to cough. I get up and grab the thermometer. I lift his hair back and press the probe on the skin behind his ear.

“Ninety-eight,” I say. “No more fever.”

He lets out a breath. “Good. I hate being sick. It’s a fucking waste of time.”

“It is,” I agree. “If you spend today resting, you might feel better tomorrow.”

“I hope so. I want to go riding with you.” I try to keep my face neutral, but he sees. “Haley,” he starts, turning around in the chair and landing his hands on my waist. “I don’t think the issue is riding with me, but just riding in general, right?”

I wrap my arms around his shoulders. “I haven’t ridden since…since my mom died.”

“I’m sorry,” he says softly and pulls me into his lap.

“I want to ride, but every time I get my saddle out, I can’t. It’s too much effort, or I don’t have the time, or I just don’t have the energy.”

“Sometimes you have to make the time for the things you love.” He runs his hands through my hair. “You have to take care of yourself, Haley.”

“I know,” I whisper as I hold on to him. “I love riding too. I miss it.”

“Then you need to do it.” He cups my face and kisses me. I close my eyes. Aiden was all wrong. I’m not trying to like him; I’m trying not to.

“I will.” I run my hands through his hair. “But right now, I need to shower. Join me?”

“I guess I can do that,” he says with a smirk and stands with me in his arms.

“Put me down,” I say. “I’m heavy and you’re sick.”