Текст книги "Never Say Never"

Автор книги: Emily Goodwin

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Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Chapter 29

I stand outside Mom’s bedroom door. I’ve yet to go in since she passed. I close my eyes, reach for the doorknob, and twist. It creaks open, the familiar groan of the hinges sending a wave of sadness through me. I’ll never hear that door open and see Mom coming in or out again.

But Aiden will be, and I need to get the room ready. It was his idea to come here; he asked me if it was okay. Of course I agreed right away. After weeks in the hospital, he was released but still needed quite a bit of help. Having a broken arm and a broken leg made it impossible to use crutches, and he still had to be careful with his broken ribs, a lung injury, and head trauma.

He was coming tonight, and I had the day to get things ready. I open my eyes and look around the room, feeling emotional. As I step in, a feeling of peace washes over me, and I just know Mom is looking down at me, smiling.

The bedspread is pulled back on the mattress. A cup of coffee sits long evaporated on the nightstand. It’s like Mom was just here, and like she’s coming back.

It’s okay, kid, I hear her say. I nod and look up. It is okay. Aiden can’t go up or down stairs yet, and we need a bed bigger than the one in my room. I can’t squish next to him until his injuries are healed.

I sink on the bed, smelling the last remnants of Mom’s perfume. Chrissy barks when the doorbell rings. I look around the room once more and go to answer the door. It’s boxes of Aiden’s stuff, packed by Claire. I drag it all inside and dump it on the couch, using the boxes to stash Mom’s stuff. I’ll go through it all someday, when I’m ready.

Four hours later, the room is done. I put fresh sheets on the bed and throw the comforter in the wash. It’s the only large comforter I have, but seeing it reminds me of Mom, and I can’t do that. I bring my old quilt from my upstairs bed and spread it out.

I have just enough time to take care of the horses before Aiden arrives. He has a long recovery and probably months of physical therapy ahead of him, but he’s going to be okay. He promises me so, at least.

He has no memory of the accident or the week leading up to it. He doesn’t remember leaving me, and he looked so guilty, so completely torn when I had to explain. We wished I could forget too.

I shower, change into pajamas, and start making chicken enchiladas—one of Aiden’s favorite meals. I pull them out of the oven right as the car comes down the driveway. My heart swells and I run outside to greet him.

He struggles out of the back of the car before anyone can help him, smiling broadly as soon as he sees me. I throw my arms around him, careful not to press on his injured torso. He kisses me, tongue slipping into my mouth and giving me the same knee-buckling, panty-melting kiss as before.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he pants. “And I missed this place.”

“I missed you too,” I say. “And so did everyone else.”

Aurelia whinnies from the side pasture, and Aiden smiles. He looks past me. “Is that my girl? She’s so tall!”

I blink back tears. “She’s a leggy little thing. We can see them in the morning. You should get inside.”

Aiden raises an eyebrow, sick of me doting over him already. He better get used to it. He’s got a few more weeks in that cast. He loops his arm around me and refuses his wheelchair, insisting on hobbling to the house instead.

“It smells good,” he says when we get inside. We eat dinner then move to the bedroom. He settles into the pillows and holds out his arms for me. I rest my head on his chest, careful to avoid hurting him.

“Haley,” he says, running his fingers over the burn on my right shoulder. “I will never leave you. This time I promise. And I will never break another promise. I love you, and I always will.”

Chapter 30

“I’m really lucky,” I say as I pick at the label on my coffee. I flick my eyes up to the woman interviewing me from E! News and force a smile. Lucky. The word has been said so many times it was beginning to lose its power.

I was lucky to escape the wreck with the injuries I did. I was lucky the EMTs arrived within minutes and pulled me from the car before it burst into flames. I’m lucky I made a full recovery. And I’m lucky to have someone to take care of me, who stayed by my side the entire time and never gave up.

It wasn’t luck that kept Haley with me, it was love. Calling it luck seems insulting, like it discredits her devotion to me. When it comes to us, I am the lucky one.

The journalist nods. I can’t recall her name. Chelsea, maybe? “You look great,” she says, flashing a smile. “If I hadn’t known about the accident, I never would have guessed.”

I smile and laugh like I’m supposed to. I have scars, and a little patch of short hair on the back of my head from having the brain pressure monitor inserted into my skull. It’s hidden underneath my stupid long curls, and I tried to use it to get the producers of Shadowland to let me cut the rest of my hair to match. They didn’t go for it.

“And you’re back to work now?” she asks.

“I am. It’s so good to be back. I’ve missed it a lot after nearly six months off.”

“Are you able to do everything like you did before?”

I hook my nail behind the label and rip it down. “No, I can’t do all my own stunts at the moment, and it kills me. I’m so particular about my character. I’m probably driving the stunt guy nuts.”

“What are you working on now?”

We talk about the current season of Shadowland and future projects. It’s a standard interview, one I consider boring, and my thoughts drift to Haley. I’ve been away filming and we haven’t seen each other in two weeks. I flew into New York yesterday for a talk show, and she thinks I’m going to be here for another few days, but I’m leaving early in the morning to surprise her.

It’s a week and a half before Christmas, and I have a while off work. I can’t wait to spend my days with her. Again.

“So,” the interviewer says. “Let’s talk about your girlfriend. Haley, right?”

Haley got her fair share of media attention after she told off a paparazzi at the hospital, and the whole thing was filmed. Once the public found out about my girlfriend—a random girl from a small town in Montana, suffering the tragic loss of her mother and struggling to keep her farm—they became a little obsessed.

We kept quiet for months. I didn’t have much choice, anyway. I relied on Haley for everything. With extensive injuries, I needed help with simple tasks and couldn’t even get up to use the toilet on my own. Haley was patient and took care of me.

Things weren’t perfect between us though. I lost all memories for the week surrounding the accident. The last thing I remembered was flying back to L.A. after wrapping up on location for The Last Ride. Then it’s black after that. I know Haley was at the hospital with me. I vaguely remember her holding my hand and hearing her voice. I know I opened my eyes and saw her face, but things get fuzzy.

I don’t remember walking away from Haley. I don’t know why I would. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It didn’t take long for her to trust me again, and to know that I will never leave her—again.

“What about Haley?” I say, getting defensive.

“You two met when you were filming in Montana, correct?”

I nod. “We did.”

“And it’s a bit of a Cinderella story. Small-town girl, falling behind on payments on the family farm, then she meets her Prince Charming who gives her the happily ever after she was searching for all along.”

I shake my head. “It is a bit of a Cinderella story, but you’ve got the rolls reversed. She gave me the happily ever after.”

I impatiently look out the barn door, waiting for Haley to come home from work. Shakespeare nudges me.

“I know,” I huff. “I’m bored too. And a little nervous,” I admit. Benny paws at the ground. He’s tied up in the crossties, and both he and Shakespeare are saddled and ready for a trail ride through the snowy mountains.

I arrived this morning, just hours after Haley left for work. She’s still writing articles for that small press, still hating it, and still wearing high-collared shirts to work to keep her creeper boss from staring at her tits.

“Maybe she won’t have to do that much longer,” I tell Shakespeare. I zip my coat all the way up and breathe on my cold hands. Gray clouds stretch across the sky, promising snow. I look outside and down the road, feeling impatient. I want to go into the heated tack room and warm my hands—and my toes, my face, well, pretty much my whole body.

But I don’t want to risk missing Haley. I step closer to Shakespeare for warmth. He lowers his head.

“Thanks, mate,” I tell him, pulling my gloves from my pocket and putting them on. Phoenix and Aurelia are still here and will stay here. Aurelia is my horse now, and I want Haley to teach me how to train her. And Phoenix was always going to stay. Her burns finally healed, but it wasn’t without a fight. I still don’t know how Haley did it all: taking care of me, taking care of the horses, and then going to work. She really is amazing.

Sundance and Gandolf found homes. I wasn’t here when they left, but coming back to the barn without them was bittersweet, and caused a little flicker of sadness in my heart that I wasn’t expecting. Their stalls filled quickly, and right now Haley is working with two wild mustangs that were injured during a BLM round up.

The whirl of a car engine echoes across the land, and snow crunches under tires. I peak out the open Dutch doors and smile. I move Shakespeare away from his door. Haley will notice right away when two of her horses don’t lean out to greet her, and she’ll come rushing into the barn.

I hear her Jeep door shut and she calls to Shakespeare. I buy his silence with a carrot. I’m smiling as I wait, and my heart flutters when the barn door slides open.

“Benny!” she exclaims, seeing him in the crossties. “What are you—”

She cuts off when she sees me. “Surprise,” I say, stepping out of Shakespeare’s stall. Her hands fly over her mouth and tears pool in her eyes. She runs to me, and we embrace. I pick her up, spinning her around in my arms, and press her against a stall wall. We kiss, and I suddenly feel warm.

“You said you wouldn’t be home for days!” she cries, wiping her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She’s kissing me again.

“Want to ride?” I ask, running my hands down her body.

She laughs and nods. “Of course.”

“I put riding clothes and your jacket in the tack room.”

She smiles, looking like she’s going to cry again. Just wait, Haley. She breaks away and changes, emerging from the tack room with two helmets. I roll my eyes but put it on. Falling and hitting my head again this soon after the accident would be bad. Very bad.

We mount our horses and slowly walk down the driveway.

“Have you seen that new barn?” I ask as I flick my eyes down the road.

Haley huffs. “I have, but I try to avoid it. It just makes me mad.”

I have to look away so she doesn’t see my smile. “Why?”

“It’s so nice! I’m a little jealous,” she admits.

“Let’s go check it out. You might not be that jealous when you see it.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Fine. I’m curious anyway.”

We cross the street and snow starts to flutter down on us. I feel like I’m in a postcard again as I look at the distant Beartooth Mountains, then back at Haley. She slows Shakespeare as we near that barn.

“I don’t get why no one is using it,” she says. “It’s beautiful. And huge.”

“Yeah, it is big,” I say. “I’d guess it has twelve stalls, two washracks with heated water, a lounge with a viewing window looking at the arena. Oh, and radiant heating throughout to keep it warm in the winter.”

Haley scrunches up her nose. “Yeah, and brass fixtures and—wait, since when do you get so technical about barns…or even know what half that stuff is?”

I shrug and reach into my coat pocket and pull out a small, silver box. “I might have been in there a time or two,” I say, extending my arm. “Happy Christmas, Haley.”

Her face blanks in disbelief, and she just stares at the box in my hand. “No,” she says, and she starts smiling. “No way.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t open it.”

She rests Shakespeare’s reins on his neck and opens the box. Her eyes widen and her mouth drops. “You…you built me a barn,” she whispers, her voice tight with emotion. She holds up the key, still processing everything. I cue Benny forward and get off, leading him to the door.

“It’s locked from the inside,” I tell her, and she just nods, still staring at the key. Finally she shakes herself and gets off her horse. I hold on to Shakespeare, still smiling as she goes to the front door. She sticks the key in the lock then stops and runs over to me, ducking under Benny’s neck.

“I love you,” she says before she kisses me.

“I love you too,” I tell her. “Open the door. I want you to see everything.”

She eagerly nods and races away, letting herself in. A minute passes before the large door slides open and I can lead the horses in. I haven’t been in the finished barn before. I’m even taken aback by how beautiful it is.

Haley is standing in the aisle, her hand over her mouth in shock. She slowly turns around, taking it all in.

“How did you do this without telling me?” she asks as she takes Shakespeare’s reins. We put the horses in stalls that are full of fresh, fluffy bedding, and take off their tack.

“It wasn’t that hard,” I say with a laugh. “I guess I bought this place days before the accident. So I forgot about it.”

Haley nods. “There was a sold sign put up that week, and the old barn got torn down shortly after that.”

“The company I’d contacted about building the barn emailed me, and I had to piece things together.”

“Aiden,” she starts, leaving the stall carrying the heavy saddle. “This is incredible. I can’t believe…” She breaks off, looking up and blinking away tears.

I motion her to follow me into the tack room. “What you do is incredible, Haley. This is the least I can do for you.”

I open the tack room door and watch Haley look around in awe. We put the saddles and bridles down, and I give her a tour, ending in the heated and air-conditioned lounge. It’s tiled and drywalled and looks like a little studio apartment. There is a leather couch, a lounge chair, and a love seat set up like a mini living room, complete with a coffee table and a large TV hanging on the wall. Behind that is a table and chairs, a tiny kitchen, and a bathroom with a shower. A large window stretches across the wall behind the table, looking into the arena.

“I could live here,” Haley says, looking around the room.

“That was kinda my thought,” I say. “Not literally living here, I mean, but when you have to spend nights in the barn you can do it comfortably.”

She takes my hands, and suddenly we’re kissing, falling back onto the leather couch. Desire for Haley pulls me under, and I unzip her coat. If I start, I won’t stop, and we’re running out of daylight.

I move my hands back to her face and kiss her forehead. “Let’s go to that spot,” I say softly. “The one by the stream.”

“We could stay here instead,” she says as she runs her hand up my thigh, cupping my balls through my jeans. Fuck, this is going to be difficult. I’m getting hard against her hands.

“We can come back.”

She lets go and hugs me instead. “Do you have more surprises for me?”

I shake my head. “I just want to be there with you.”

“Okay,” she says and kisses me again. “We should hurry, though. The light is fading fast.”

We get back on the horses and head out, Haley leading the way. The snowfall slows to just flurries, and it’s perfect. The snow-covered trees glisten with sinking sunlight, and my heart hammers in my chest, hoping we’ll get there in time.

“I’m in shock,” Haley says, turning around in the saddle. “Is that barn really mine?”

“It is. And I thought we could give your old barn a similar treatment. Ya know, to be fair to the horses.”

Haley’s eyes meet mine, and her smile makes everything worth it. We ride the rest of the way in silence, getting off the horses when we get close to the stream. The ground is slippery with snow, and we can’t get as close as we did before. I tie Benny to a tree and pull another box out of my pocket. Haley’s back is turned; she’s petting Shakespeare and brushing snow out of his mane.

“Haley,” I say, my voice catching in my throat. She turns around, her eyes dropping to the black box. If she thought she was shocked before… “Haley,” I say again. “I love you. You gave me a second chance and stuck by me through the worst times. You are my happily ever after, and I don’t want to live a day without you.” I get down on one knee, snow soaking through my trousers. I open the box. “Will you marry me?”

Tears roll down her face and she moves her head up and down. “Yes,” she breathes. “Yes, Aiden, yes!”

I get up, take her glove off, and slip the ring on her finger. She brings her hand to her face, looking at the large diamonds. “I love you so fucking much,” I tell her, and then we’re kissing. I hold her close, knowing that I will never, ever let her go.

Epilogue

Three years later…

“I have a meeting with a director tomorrow,” I say, speaking loudly so Haley can hear me. I look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and nod, satisfied with how I look in the tux. Shadowland is over, and I can finally cut my hair. I cut it short last summer and missed the long curls. Haley did too, so now I’m letting it grow back out. “If I get it, I’ll have to cut my hair again,” I say. I’m going over lines for the role of United States Marine Sergeant Underwood in a zombie movie. My agent says I’ve already got the part, but I’m still nervous. Just a little.

“That’s okay,” Haley says, her voice muffled. I look out the bathroom and see her lying on the bed, knees bent up and eyes squeezed shut. “It’ll grow back, and I’m sure you’ll get the part. You are brilliant.”

Even when she’s sick, she’s my biggest fan. I leave the bathroom and give her a kiss on the forehead, going to the fridge to get a can of Sprite. I pop the top and take a sip before I hurry back to her. I sit on the edge of the bed.

“Babe, if you’re sick we can stay home.”

“No way,” she says, opening her eyes. She’s wearing a black evening gown, and her hair and makeup have been professionally done. She looks stunning, as always. “I’m okay.”

I laugh. “You just threw up.”

“I know,” she groans, taking the Sprite from me and taking a few sips. “But I want to go for you, Aiden. You’re nominated for an Oscar. This is a huge deal. You at least have to go.”

I put my hand on her stomach. “A long time ago, someone told me it’s not what you have but who you have.” I lean over and kiss the small bump on her belly, smiling when I feel our baby kick. “If you—both of you—need to rest, then we’re staying home.”

She reaches up and caresses my face. “We want to be there for you. This little girl wants to see her daddy win.”

I take my jacket off and lie down next to her, spooning my body around hers. “We don’t know if I’ll win,” I say, and I try not to think about it. Just being nominated was big enough. I’ve been so lucky, so blessed, it doesn’t matter.

“I’m so proud of you,” Haley says. “You’ve overcome so much.”

“And you’ve put up with so much,” I tell her before I kiss her neck, thinking back. After the accident, I tried to get clean. Really, I did. But it wasn’t as easy as I thought. A few months after getting out of the hospital, the pain and lack of independence got to me. I had a hard time dealing with my lost memory, and I hated myself for causing Haley pain. I relapsed and took too many pain pills, washing them down with a bottle of wine.

And Haley stayed with me through it all. I still wonder why. I’m not that great. But she loved me for some reason, and I loved her.

“It was worth it,” she says, turning over and groaning. “I thought the morning sickness was supposed to go away at the end of the first trimester. I’m halfway through the pregnancy. It’s been long enough.”

“Someday we can tell our daughter how tough her mommy is.”

Haley nods and wraps her arms around me. She takes a deep breath then sits up and slowly drinks the Sprite. “I’m feeling a lot better now, really.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes. If I take an anti-nausea pill, I can get through the night without puking on whoever I’m sitting next to. I can’t promise I won’t fall asleep,” she adds with a smile.

“I can’t make that promise either,” I laugh. “This thing is really long.” I help her up and smooth her dress, assuring her she still looks beautiful.

“So we’ll go home in two days?” she asks as we go into the hall.

“Yes. Well, assuming I don’t have to go through call-backs. We’ll see.”

“That’s fine,” she says as she puts her hand on her belly. We’re in a hotel suite in L.A. I sold my mansion a few months after we got engaged, not needing it anymore. Home is in Montana, on a horse farm overlooking the Beartooth Mountains. It’s rough, being separated during filming. Depending on the extent of care a rescue requires, Haley sometimes leaves and comes to set to be with me. She owns and operates her own rescue now, and has employees to look after the horses when she goes away.

“Can we stop for food on the way there? I really want a taco,” Haley asks as I open the door.

I laugh. “You know there is food there, right?”

She makes a face. “But I’ll have to wait while you get your picture taken and get asked the same questions over and over.”

I loop my arm through hers. “I can’t argue there. And of course we can.”

We get into the limo a few minutes later. Haley takes my hand. “Are you nervous?”

“A little,” I admit. I put my arm around Haley and rest my hand on the baby bump, feeling our daughter kick and move around inside Haley’s belly. “But no matter what happens, I’ve already won.”