Текст книги "Fading"

Автор книги: E. K. Blair

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 25 страниц)

"Do you want to tell me about what happened?" she asks as she pulls away.

Wiping my tears, I decide to open up to her. "We got in a bad fight. It wasn't good. They told me they were done with me and not to come back."

"My God," she says quietly in shock.

"What's worse is that Ryan heard it all."

"Ryan would never judge you for that."

"I hope not, but it was embarrassing nonetheless."

"What were you arguing about?" she asks.

"The same thing we always fight about. They aren't happy with my choices. I'm not good enough. I don't measure up to the name they work hard for." Donna leans over to the end table and hands me a box of tissues. I pull one out and wipe the tears from my cheeks. "It's always been this way, but then at Thanksgiving my mother told me that I was nothing but an embarrassment to her."

"I'm so sorry, dear. No child should ever have to hear that."

"Hear what?" Ryan questions, and when I look up, I see him walking down the stairs. He crosses the room and comes to sit next to me on the couch as I face his mother. I try not to look at him as he wraps one of his arms around me.

"Candace is telling me about what happened the other night."

"Mom."

"It's fine," I say.

Covering my hand with hers, she asks, "Do you have any other family at all?"

"No. It's only ever been the three of us since my father's parents' passed away."

"What about your mother's family?"

"I've never met them. I have never known them to speak. I'm not even sure they know about me." Wiping my cheeks again, Ryan rests his other hand on my leg. He doesn't say anything, he just sits there, letting his mom and I talk.

She shakes her head as if she can't believe what I am saying. Leaning forward, she takes me in her arms again. The comfort I am getting, being held by both Ryan and his mother is almost too much for me, but I know this is what I've been missing my whole life. I wrap my arms around Donna as more tears fall.

Letting go of me, she says, "I'm glad you're here with us," as she brushes her thumbs under my eyes. "I'll let the two of you be," she says to Ryan then kisses my forehead. When she leaves the room, Ryan pulls me back onto his chest.

"Don't cry, babe," he says softly in my ear.

"I'm tired. I don't want to talk anymore."

Ryan gets off the couch, and I follow him upstairs. Walking into his room, I go into the bathroom to take my sleeping pill and brush my teeth. When I walk out, he is still standing by the door. I crawl into his bed and don't even question him when he slides in behind me. He pulls me into him and curls himself around me. Neither one of us moves, we just lie there, snuggled up together. I've never had this before. But there is something about Ryan, about the way he makes me feel, that makes me want this—with him.

"Morning, babe."

Lifting my head and looking up at Ryan, in the still-dark room, he has me tucked tightly against him. Trying to wake from my sleep, I let my head fall lazily back down on his chest. His thumb is stroking my shoulder, and I blink a few times before fully opening my eyes.

The room is cold, and I sink further down in the bed beneath the covers.

I hear Ryan chuckle under his breath as he says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm cold," I whisper.

"You're always cold."

I roll over onto my stomach and look up at him. "I know."

He reaches down, pulls me back up against him, and wraps the comforter around me.

Aside from Jase, I have never slept a full night in bed with any other man. I thought it would be weird; maybe it would be with anyone else, but with Ryan it feels safe.

We are supposed to be driving back to Seattle later today, and I'm not quite sure how Jase is going to react to this new development. He knows I'm here; I texted him after the fight with my parents to let him know I was going to be with Ryan, but I haven't spoken with him since I have been here.

"Why are you so quiet?" Ryan asks me.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

Snaking my arm around his waist, I say, "Jase. He and Mark will be back Saturday."

He rolls on his side and props himself up on his elbow. Looking down at me, he says, "Stop thinking," as he leans down and nuzzles his head in my neck, lightly nipping on the sensitive flesh. Goosebumps begin to prick on my skin. Raising his head, my hands holding his face, he says, "Do you know how beautiful you look right now?"

His words make my heart quicken, and I pull his face down to me and kiss him.

"Are you guys all packed up?" his mother asks as Ryan pulls out some cold pizza for us to eat.

We spent the morning lying in bed, dozing in and out of sleep, and just enjoying the calm of being alone.

Handing me a slice, he turns to her and says, "Yeah, I have to go to my office and get a bunch of paperwork done, and Candace has to work tonight."

The three of us sit together at the table, eating cold leftover pizza. I sit and listen to Ryan and his mother talk to each other. They have a natural flow and connection between them, and it's apparent that the two of them are really close.

"Candace, will you take a quick walk with me on the beach before you go?" she asks.

I look up at Ryan, and he smiles at me before getting up from the table. Turning to look at Donna, I answer, "Yeah. Let me go grab my rain boots."

The mist is light this morning, as we walk along the firm puddled sand. The wind is kicking hard, and the waves are rough as they crash along the shore.

"I'm sorry if I pushed too much yesterday," she says, looking at me over her shoulder.

"You didn't. I don't ever talk about that stuff with anyone, but it felt nice to unload a little of it."

"I feel just awful about what you've been through, and I want you to know, that even though we just met, you can talk to me whenever you want. I'll give you my number before you leave. Call me, please."

I nod my head and say, "Okay."

"Everyone needs a parent they can depend on, including you, dear."

I'm taken back by her words. Donna has such a warm and maternal demeanor.

She stops and turns to face me when she says, "He hasn't always had it easy, you know? He doesn't let a lot of people in, but I know you're special to him, which makes you special to me. From what Ryan has told me, he's really lucky to have you."

We stand there, facing each other, and I'm at a complete loss for words. Where have these people been? Why are they just now in my life? Why couldn't I have met Ryan years ago? I could have possibly been saved from so much, and now I feel like I could destroy this if he knew my secret. Standing on this beach right now with his mother, I vow to do everything I can to bury this deep down. If he knew, he would never look at me the way he does now. He would be disgusted, and everything would crumble. I can't have that happen. I've lost Kimber, I've lost my parents, I've even lost myself; I can't lose anyone else.

When Ryan pulls up to my house, I quickly jump out to stretch after the long drive. Ryan gets my bag and walks me inside. He follows me back to my room as I go to put my bag away. I turn to look at him standing in the doorway. He's looking around my room as if he is taking in every detail.

"What?" I question, feeling a little too self-conscious of my belongings.

He walks right up to me and scoops me up in his arms. I love it when he holds me like this, I think he gets a kick out of how light I am and picks me up often. I wrap my arms around his neck and giggle as I look down at him.

"You've got a lot of ballet shit in here," he says, and I can't help but laugh at him.

"Yeah, I do."

Leaning my head down, we spend the next few minutes kissing each other. He is always so patient with his kisses, never rushing. It's perfect. He walks over to my bed and lays us down. He doesn't push to go any further than kissing, and I thank God for that because I don't think I am capable of doing anything else. He just holds me.

"What time do you have to be at work?" he asks.

"At seven. I have to close, so I won't be home till midnight."

"Come to my place tonight."

"I don't...I," I stumble over my words, not really knowing what to say, but stop trying when I hear Ryan chuckle at me.

"Why are you nervous? You've slept with me for the past two nights."

"Stop laughing at me," I say as I nudge him in the ribs. "And that was just a little different."

"Why?"

"Because your mother was there."

He starts laughing again, and I know he's not doing it to be rude, but I'm scared. This makes me nervous, and I don't know how to explain it to him. I'm sure most girls wouldn't have an issue with this. Most would be doing more than kissing like a couple of kids, but I don't know what I'm doing, and this scares the shit out of me.

When he realizes that I'm no longer talking, he shifts over me, and in a more serious tone asks, "What's going on?"

I shake my head, because what could I possibly say to a twenty-eight-year-old man that isn't going to sound completely pathetic.

"Talk to me."

"I don't know what to say," I tell him honestly.

"Say what you're thinking, babe."

"I told you that I don't do this well. I just...I don't." Taking a deep breath I close my eyes and continue, "I don't do this, I'm..." Shit. Why can't I get my words out without sounding like an idiot?

"Open your eyes. Don't hide from me." When I look at him, he brushes his hand through my hair and says, "We'll move as slow as you want. But, I want you in my bed tonight. I want you next to me."

"Okay," I whisper.

"I want you to talk to me though. I need you to tell me what is going on in your head. I'll never judge you."

God, why does he have to say these things to me? His words pierce through me and melt me, but they also intimidate me. How can I be open with him when I have never opened up to anyone besides Jase?

He brings me out of my thoughts when he says, "I'll never hurt you. I just need you to trust me."

I nod my head at his words, but how can I trust him like that when I don't trust anyone?

"Come on," he says as he stands up and pulls me off the bed. "I have to run and take care of things at work. You'll come over tonight." He doesn't ask, he just tells me. Not allowing a response, he leans down and kisses me before leaving.

After I unpack, I call Jase. I need to talk to someone about everything, and when he answers the phone, I break at the sound of his voice. My emotions are all over the place, but Jase is my rock, and I really need him right now.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't really know where to begin. I wish you were here. I just really need you right now." My voice trembles as I try hard not to cry.

"Sweetie, you're scaring me"

"I think I may be getting in way over my head with Ryan."

"What are you talking about? What's going on with Ryan?"

Not sure where to begin, I just start rambling uncontrollably, and I'm sure I'm not making any sense. "He kissed me, and I kissed him back. We've been sleeping next to each other. He told me he wants to be with me, and I foolishly agreed. Now we're back home, and he wants me to spend the night at his place. And I just have no clue what the hell I'm doing. And you're not here. And I'm freaking out. And..."

"Whoa, you have to slow down," he cuts me off. "Go back. He kissed you?"

"Uh huh."

"What happened?"

"It was late Christmas night. We were lying down, and it just sort of happened. I don't know. We just kissed, then we fell asleep together."

"Well, how did you feel when you woke up?"

"Really confused. I mean, I know we've been hanging out a lot, but I feel like I don't know a whole lot about him. And then everything Mark told me about all the girls started freaking me out."

"But he told you he wants to be with you?"

"Yeah, we went to the beach, he just came out and told me, and then I agreed with him. We ended up sleeping together again. And then his mother was insinuating that he's talked to her about me in the past, and that kinda intimidates me."

"Why?"

"What do you mean? You know I have zero experience with this shit. I have no clue what I'm getting myself into. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"Everything. He hasn't done anything more than kiss me, but what happens when he wants to do something else? Knowing what Mark told me, I feel like I just can't handle this. I'm scared he's going to touch me, and then what?"

"Ryan doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would push you."

"What? How do you know?"

"Because, he told me how he feels about you."

"What?!" I squeal out. "When?!"

"He called me Christmas Eve to tell me what happened with your parents. He told me that he's been having feelings for you for a while and wanted to know if he was wasting his time."

"What did you say?"

"I told him I thought he should tell you. But I told him not to fuck with you if he wasn't serious, that you've been dealing with a lot, and that I didn't want to see you get hurt."

I'm shocked. My heart is racing, and I don't know what to say.

"Candace?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm telling you now."

"Don't joke with me, Jase."

"Because if I told you, you would have never let this happen. You would have completely shut him out, and you need to start living again."

"I have been living."

"You've been existing. There's a big difference."

His words cut into me. I can continue to make excuses, but I know he's right. Tears well up in my eyes, and when I sniff, Jase is right there with me.

"Don't cry, Candace."

"I'm scared."

"I know. But it's okay to feel that way. You have to feel this. You have to start opening yourself up again."

"Am I going to lose you?" Wow, that came out of nowhere. But, I have been thinking a lot about what will happen after this year. Plus he's with Mark now. What if Mark gets a job out of state? Will Jase go with him? What if Jase gets a job out of state? And where will I get a job?

"Never. I promise."

"I want you to come home."

"Two more days. Don't cry. It'll be fine."

"Okay."

When I hang up the phone, I take a deep breath and pull myself together. I throw a load of laundry in and repack my bag before heading out to work. I try not to think too much about all the possible outcomes of what I am getting myself into. I like Ryan, and Jase's reassurance gives me the push I need to move forward, to try to open up to him. That's all I can really do—just try.

It's a little past midnight when I pull into Ryan's driveway. The lights are on up on the second floor. I grab my bag, walk to the side of the building, and up the flight of stairs that lead to his front door. I stand there for a while and think about what Jase told me earlier. Based on what he said, I shouldn't be nervous about Ryan, but I am.

Aside from everything else, this is new to me. The guy I dated in high school hardly counts as a relationship. We barely even knew each other, and he didn't care enough about me to really even pay much attention to me. It was a relationship of convenience; he served as a distraction from my home life, and that's it. Aside from graduation night, we never had much of a physical relationship. I am completely inexperienced, and I know it. The fact that I am almost twenty-three makes it even more embarrassing.

I am startled when Ryan opens the door.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks.

"Umm, nothing. I was just about to knock," I lie.

He takes my bag out of my hand and steps to the side so that I can come in. I walk to the living room but don't sit. I stand like an idiot in the center of the room, not sure what I should be doing. I don't know why I feel so awkward tonight. Ryan was right; we have spent the past two nights together, so why do I feel weird about a third? Maybe it's because I am in his home. How many girls have been here? How many girls have slept in his bed? God, why am I even thinking about this?

He sets my bag down by the stairs that lead up to the third floor where his bedroom is, and starts walking toward me.

"Did you eat?"

"I did before I went to work."

When he reaches me, he wraps his arms around my waist, and the touch alone is enough to relax me a little bit. I clasp my hands together behind his back and lean my forehead against his chest.

Kissing the top of my head, he says, "Better?"

"Mmm hmm," I hum.

"Good. I'm wiped, what about you?"

"Yeah." Driving back from Oregon and then having to work so late, I'm drained.

Taking my bag, we go upstairs to his room.

"The bathroom is right over there," he says, and he points past his large closet.

Closing the door, I lay out my clothes and turn on the shower so that I can rid myself of the smell of coffee. That's the downfall of working at a coffee shop: you leave work smelling like an old pot of coffee.

After drying my hair, taking my sleeping pill, and brushing my teeth, I walk back in the room at the same time Ryan is coming back upstairs holding two bottles of water.

"Here," he says as he hands me one of the bottles.

"Thanks."

Ryan wears a pair of pajama bottoms with no shirt, and when he crosses the room, I notice another tattoo that looks like scripted words that is inked on the side of his ribs. He walks over to the large king-sized bed and starts pulling back the covers. I hop up on the bed and slip under the sheets. Ryan sits next to me, leaning his back against the dark leather headboard. When he lifts his arm to wrap around me, I can finally make out the words of his tattoo:

pain is a reminder

you're still alive

Laying my hand over it, I ask, "What's this for?"

He looks down at my hand and says, "A reminder." He takes my hand off the tattoo and holds it against his chest.

I then notice a jagged scar under the tattoo. I want to ask, but I don't. When Ryan sees what I'm looking at he says, "Like I said, my dad was an asshole." I shift my eyes to his when he begins talking again. "He was a drunk and liked to take his anger out on me and my mom. I took more of it than she did. The drunker he was, the worse it would get. He was like that for as far back as I can remember. It was all I knew. Then one night, I beat the shit out of him when he was wasted, and when he got in his car and left, he never came back. His car was found wrapped around a tree, and that was it. He was dead."

I'm sure my eyes are filled with horror as I listen to him speak because he pulls me tight and comforts me instead of me trying to comfort him. I am speechless; I can only tighten my grip around him to let him know how I feel. How could I have droned on about how shitty my parents are? I've had it pretty good compared to what he had to grow up with. And Donna, God, I had no idea. She is such a wonderful person. My heart hurts for what they must have gone through.

"You're the only one who knows that, outside of my mom and me," he tells me. He is only giving me more reasons to trust him.

"I feel really stupid. I'm so sorry about complaining about my parents."

"Candace, you're far from stupid. Your parents treated you like shit. They filled you full of misconceptions of yourself and fucked with your head. Anyone would be devastated. Don't dismiss your pain because you don't think it's worthy. It is."

Raking my fingers through the hair on the back of his head, I pull him down to kiss me. He slides down in the bed and hovers his body over me. He drags his lips from my mouth, across my cheek, and down my neck, taking little sucks along the way. I hold him close to me when he starts trailing kissing across my collarbone. Taking his face in my hands, I guide him back up to my lips. I begin to slip away to a place where nothing exists but us. His soft lips caress mine as we move at our slow pace. Taking one of my hands in his, he laces his fingers with mine and presses my hand into the mattress as I feel myself falling for him even more.

When Jase got back in town, we spent some much needed alone time together. Ryan has been busy this past week with work, and we haven't had much time to hang out during the days. In the mornings, we have been running together. Aside from that, I've been in the studio almost every day and picking up extra shifts at work.

Somehow I let Jase and Ryan talk me into going to Ryan's bar to hear Mark's band play tomorrow night. Still nervous about the possibility of seeing Jack out one of these days, the fact that I'll be there with Jase and Ryan was comforting enough for me to say yes.

Ryan is working late tonight, so Jase and I are spending the evening together at his place. After grabbing some tea and coffee at Peet's on the ground floor of Jase's apartment building, we head upstairs for the night.

Making ourselves comfortable on his couch, we talk for quite a while about Mark and Ryan. This is the first time that both of us have had boyfriends we can talk about, and I'm enjoying our newfound pastime for gossiping. But, the conversation takes a more serious tone when Jase asks, "Can you hear me out on something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"I know I've brought this up before, but I want to bring it up again because you seem to be in a better place now."

"What are you getting at?"

"Have you thought about calling the detective from that night?"

"What? Why would I do that?"

"Because Candace, you know who did this, and the hospital has the evidence."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"What if he does this to someone else?"

"Drop it, Jase."

"Candace, think about it. If he could do what he did to you..."

"I'm serious, Jase. Drop it." My hands are shaking, and I cannot believe he even went there. Getting off the couch, I storm off to the bathroom and slam the door behind me. I have been trying so damn hard to not think about that night, and now when I close my eyes, I'm right back there. How could he do this to me? I turn on the faucet and splash cold water on my face, but the anger keeps coursing through me. Looking at myself in the mirror, I realize I'm crying, and when I see the tears, I get more pissed.

The door swings open, and Jase is standing there with guilt all over his face.

"What's wrong with you?!" I scream at him.

"Shit, Candace, I had no idea," he pleads. "I honestly thought you..."

"Would be over it by now?! I can't. He won't ever let me," I sob out. "I can still feel his hands all over me, and I hate it."

"God."

"All I have ever asked is for you to drop it, and now you bring this shit up?! Now?!"

"I thought..."

"I just can't. And God, Ryan would find out."

"He doesn't know?"

"No! He'll never know. He can't."

"Why?"

"Because I'd lose him. He'd run away. Who would want me?"

"You have to tell him."

"No, I don't. This is my secret, and I plan to keep it that way."

"Candace, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." His voice is hurt, and I feel horrible for blowing up at him like that.

"I'm sorry," I say then hug him. "I'm sorry."

"I never thought you'd be over it; I know you better than that. I just thought that you'd be in a little bit of a better place."

"Can we just forget about it?"

"Of course. Forgotten."

I decide to call it a night. Jase wanted me to spend the night, but I really need some space.

Seth's car is parked out front when I get home. As I walk past it, I notice for the first time that he has Greek letters on his back window; the same Greek letters of Jack's fraternity.

Oh my god.

Does Kimber know this? She'd almost have to know. I start to panic a bit, wondering if she's talked to Jack, and if so, what was said. Did he say anything about me?

I feel uncomfortable when I walk in and see Kimber and Seth watching a movie in the living room. I quickly walk through the room. Kimber doesn't say anything; she simply sits on the couch and looks at me when I walk to my room. This tension with Kimber hurts and the fact that Jase and I just had an argument, when we never argue, has me emotionally exhausted. God, I hate this.

Ryan seemed excited this morning on our run that I was finally going to come by his bar and hang out. After everything that happened with Jase last night, I am more apprehensive than ever, but I stuff it down deep because I know Ryan wants me at the bar with him tonight.

He's already there—he's been working all afternoon—and Mark drove with Chasten, the drummer, for a quick sound check. So, I'm getting ready and hanging out with Jase. The tension between us has dissipated and neither one of us mentions our fight.

Sliding my black boots on over my jeans, I say, "Okay, I'm ready."

"Finally," Jase teases as we start to head out.

I pull my hooded black raincoat over my plum satin swing top and lock the door behind me. When we get in the car, I text Ryan to let him know we are on our way.

"Mark is really excited that you're coming tonight."

"I feel bad that I've missed all of his shows," I say.

"Don't. He gets it."

Jase turns in down an alley, and I give him a look as he says, "We're parking in the back employee lot."

As we drive around the building, I'm surprised at the size. I had no idea he owned a place this big. Although it's dark and rainy out, I can see that the front lot and side streets are lined with cars.

Jase turns the car into a small empty spot in the back. When I get out and turn around, away from the car, my heart freezes—I can't breathe.

Holy shit.

I zone in on the blue chipped paint. I see those chips that expose the dark metal underneath almost every day. I'd know them anywhere.

When I take a step back, the heel of my boot snags on a divot in the asphalt and I trip, falling on my bottom. I begin to panic when I hit the ground. All I see is that dumpster, and I can't get up fast enough.

I can't even hear Jase as I see his lips move as he squats in front of me. Quickly, I pull myself up and Jase follows, grabbing my shoulders, he puts me back in the car. I lower my head to my knees and begin to sob uncontrollably.

When Jase gets in the car, I start screaming, "Get me out of here! Go! Get me out of here!"

He doesn't say a word as he starts the car. I sit up, with sobs wracking me. I'm still screaming when I see the back door open, and Ryan comes out. His eyes meet mine, and I can see the shock in his face as I'm crying and screaming at Jase to drive.

He rips out of the parking lot as I hear Ryan yelling my name.

Covering my face with my hands, I continue to wail.

Jase pulls the car into a gas station and throws the car in park. Getting out, he comes around to my side, opens my door, and kneels down beside me.

"Candace, I need you to breathe. Calm down, okay?"

But I can't. That night keeps replaying in my head. That dumpster. Jack ripping off my clothes. Digging my nails in the asphalt, trying to get away. It all flashes through me.

"Candace, look at me. What's wrong?"

Letting my head fall in my hands, I say, "That's the alley. That's the alley Jack..." I still can't bring myself to say that word, but no words are needed when Jase pulls me into him and holds me.

"Oh God," he mutters over and over as I cry.

My sobs begin to weaken, and fatigue overcomes me. I release my hold on Jase and fall back into the seat, thoroughly drained and exhausted.

"Let me take you back to my place, okay?"

My eyes sting from the mixture of tears and makeup, so I keep them closed and nod my head.

Walking into Jase's apartment, I head straight to his bedroom and lay my head on his pillow. My head is pounding, and my body is weak. Jase lies down next to me and holds me.

"What can I do?" he asks hopelessly.

"Just make it go away," I mumbled. If only he could, I just might have a fighting chance to be myself again. Instead I lie here, as I have so many times before: pathetic, weak, and broken.

Letting out a sigh of defeat, he tells me, "I wish I could. I would. I would do anything to take this away from you."

I know that he would too, but hearing the pain in his voice brings on another slew of tears.

We both jump when there is a loud pounding on his door. I sit up when Jase gets out of bed.

"Stay here," he says as he shuts the bedroom door behind him.

I soon hear Ryan's loud voice demanding to know where I am and Jase yelling at him to give me space, when the door suddenly opens.

Still crying, I look up at Ryan, and he gently closes the door behind him and rushes over to the side of the bed where I am sitting. Kneeling between my legs, he holds firmly onto my knees. I hate seeing the pain and confusion in his eyes. I continue crying and repeating, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ryan. I'm..."

Grabbing me behind my back, he slides me off the edge of the bed and onto the floor with him. "What happened, babe?"

Hiding my face in my hands as I cry, I keep apologizing. He pulls me tight against him, and I wonder what I could possibly say to excuse this breakdown. He's going to want to know, and I don't know what to do.

He takes my wrists and pulls my hands away from my face, "I need you to talk to me."

Looking down at my lap, I say the first thing that comes to my mind, "I just...I got myself too worked up and had a panic attack. I know you wanted me there tonight, but I couldn't."

"Why couldn't you just tell me?"

"I was embarrassed. This has happened a few times in the past, but only Jase knows that I have these."

He wraps me up in his arms, and I feel horrible. I didn't lie, but I still feel guilty.

When I'm calmed down, he backs away and looks me in the eyes when he says, "You could've come to me. Jase isn't the only one you have, you know?"

The hurt in his eyes is too much, and I have to look away, but he lowers his head to catch my dropping eyes. "I need you to trust me enough to talk to me." Nodding my head he continues, "I understand you and Jase, but I know how I feel about you." He takes a moment before softly saying, "I want you to need me more than him."

Feeling the need to defend myself, I say, "He's all I've ever had."

Taking my hand in his, he places it against his chest when he tells me, "You have me now too."

I feel myself falling for him even more when I hear the sincerity in his words. Fisting his shirt in my hand, I wrap my free arm around his neck and hug him.

"Let's go home," he says into my ear, and I know that when he says home, he means his place, and I like that.