Текст книги "Cruel and Beautiful"

Автор книги: A. M. Hargrove

Соавторы: Terri E. Laine
сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 28 страниц)

LIVELY MUSIC AND MY LIVELIER coworkers, fill the lounge. But I see and hear none of it. I stare into the mirror on the back of the bar wondering whose reflection I see. I barely recognize the woman staring back at me with the vacant eyes. Drew… Andy is here in town. It’s been three days since I saw him and I can’t get him out of my head.

“Cate, you’re too quiet. This is a celebration. We’ve completed the Caine account. Maybe now we can sleep for more than four hours a night.” Daniel grins and puts a tumbler to his lips. “At least until our meeting next Monday to discuss our next project.”

He laughs at his own joke as Mandy strolls over with two drinks in her hand. She leans down to whisper in my ear. “I’m not sure what’s going on with you tonight, but you will celebrate.”

I take the proffered drink feeling like a daisy downer. She lifts up her glass and my team of coworkers all raise their glasses. Not wanting to be the odd man out, I do the same and plaster a smile on my face.

“To us and especially Cate. Without her last minute save we all might be in the office reworking the project,” Mandy announces.

“To Cate,” everyone toasts.

“To the team,” I counter. “There’s no I in team. We all put in the hours and we all will, hopefully, reap the rewards.”

“Here, here!” comes a chorus of cheers.

I have no idea if we will get bonuses for completing the job on time other than the day off we were given. Still, a girl can hope. I toss back the shot with no idea what kind of liquor it is.

The burn hits my throat and I feel the cinnamon taste not only in my mouth, but in the tears that form in my eyes. It’s a Fireball! When my eyes pop out of my head, Mandy thumps my back as if I were choking. I keep my mouth closed for fear I will breathe out fire like a dragon.

“It’ll put hair on your chest,” Mandy chirps. Her honey brown curls bounce as if she’s unable to contain all the energy she has inside her. “At least that’s what Dad told my brothers when they had their first taste of alcohol.”

“I’m pretty sure my esophagus will never be the same,” I croak.

“Here. Have another?”

My expression freezes as I give her a you’re crazy stare. “You’re kidding me, right? Or maybe you’re just trying to poison me.”

She tosses her head back and barks out a belly laugh. “Cate, I swear we love you. I know you’re worried because you’re the newest member of the team and you might feel as though we’re intimidated that you pulled this one out of the crapper. But honestly, everyone is happy you’re here. Happy clients mean we all have jobs. So take another for the team.”

She’s right. No one has ever made me feel unwanted at work. Worry has clouded my thoughts. What she doesn’t know is that it’s Drew, or rather Andy, that has me rattled. Seeing him after all this time brings to the surface so many regrets.

I pick up the shot and this time I’m ready for it. I clink her glass and chant, “To the team,” before I drink it down.

Mandy’s sly glance at me makes me suspicious. “There is one other thing you should know.”

“What’s that?” I dab at my eyes, hoping the moisture the Fireball caused doesn’t mess up my makeup.

“Daniel has a crush on you.”

While I almost choke, Mandy’s gaze remains steady on me.

“You like him?” I ask, confused.

“No.” She violently shakes her head. “It’s just—he’s sweet. But super cute,” she amends. “And I’ve known him forever and I feel sort of protective over him. So don’t break his heart.”

She taps my shoulder before she walks away and I blink rapidly, unsure of what just happened.

“Hey.” I glance up and Daniel stands before me. “Mind if I sit with you?”

“Sure.” I shrug, trying not to let Mandy’s comments make things weird between us. Still, I’m nervous about what he’s about to say. I take the last of the shooters and drink it. He smiles but sighs and I watch as he gears himself up to say something.

“Take another shot with me.” The words burst out of me because I don’t want to have to turn him down. Mandy’s right about one thing. He’s cute in that nerdy superhero way. With his dark hair and black-framed glasses, I have to wonder if he has on a blue and red leotard under his suit. Or maybe that’s the alcohol talking. Before he can answer though, I order another two rounds. The drinks start to go down easier, especially after the fifth one.

I’ve managed to stave off any dating topics and only traded smiles. I thwart any opportunity on his part to speak by shouting toasts to everyone, from our boss to the janitors in the building. But now I’ve run out of excuses.

“Cate, I was wondering—”

The music stops and Mandy’s voice booms out of the speakers.

“Cate! Where are you, girl?”

Feeling unsteady myself, I can still tell she’s been drinking much more than I have because her words are slurred.

“Wait, that’s me,” I say pointing to myself. I frown when I notice it’s harder for me to communicate than it should have been.

“Cate, Catieeee, come sing with me,” Mandy croons.

The crowd begins to chant my name and I glance up at Daniel. My eyes feel heavy. Yet, this is the escape I’ve been searching for.

“I gotta go. But I’ll see you later.”

I sway a little when I get to my feet and Daniel’s hands are there to steady me. In fact, he helps me navigate the crowd.

“You have nice hands and nice teeth. I like a man with good teeth,” I absently say.

Daniel shakes his head. “Be careful up there, Catie,” he teases as helps me up on stage and it feels like old times. I think of Jenna and I miss her terribly. She is planning a visit and what will I tell her about Drew… I mean Andy. That’s going to take a bit of getting used to.

Mandy is cracking up before the song even comes on. When the popular tune begins, I know the song automatically. I sling an arm over my friend as we begin to sing enthusiastically. Daniel is our only coworker who managed to snag a spot up front. With lights bearing down on us, I have no one I know to focus on and I end up serenading Daniel so my semi-embarrassment won’t cause me to puke. Unfortunately, the song Mandy picked isn’t quite the message I’d wanted to send. The crowd’s enthusiasm urges me on.

I know I just met you,

And this is crazy,

But here’s my number,

So call me maybe!

Sometime after karaoke and a few more rounds of shots, I’ve forgotten the mess I’m creating. Daniel is by my side the whole time encouraging me not to drink but not stopping me either. By the time we make it out of the bar, we’re hot and sweaty. Daniel is flagging us a cab while trying to keep Mandy and me on our feet. The frigid air should have been a balm, yet I can barely put one step in front of another.

“Catie, I’m so glad you moved here,” Mandy slurs. “The office was so dull until you showed up.” We finally stumble to a stop near the curb.

I place my arms on her shoulders needing her to focus on me as I tell her how I feel because feelings are important. “I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met you. It’s a cruel, cruel world but you’re the happiest person I’ve ever met. And I need happy. You’re my bestest friend, but don’t tell my best friend I said that. Jenna’s not normally a jealous person, but don’t piss that girl off. She’s a scrapper.”

Mandy nods because she gets me. “I promise I won’t tell. We can be secret bosom buddies.”

We hug until Daniel breaks it up. I want to tell him that even though I’m not into him, I’m not into girls either. His voice interrupts my swirling thoughts. Now, I’m no longer sure what was so important for me to say.

Daniel and his four doppelgangers steady us. “Come on ladies, be careful of the snow and ice.”

I feel like I’m on a ship. “The boat is rocking. I think we might capsize. Where are our life vests?”

“Cate.”

That voice, I know it. I spin and the world tilts.

“It’s the Titanic all over again,” I call out as I fall forward.

I never reach bottom. “Thank god for the life vest,” I mutter. I feel it tight around me.

“Cate,” the voice says again.

“Drew.” I shake my head. “No, it’s An– Andy now,” I slur. “Not Drew, can’t call you that. It’s Andy.”

Daniel comes into view and I’m not sure if Andy is there or not or if I’m only hearing voices.

“It’s okay. I can take her off your hands. I’ll get her home,” Daniel says.

Somehow I regain my feet but my vision continues to swirl. Damn four-inch heels aren’t doing me any favors.

“I like those heels,” Mandy responds and I realize I’ve spoken out loud.

When I’m steady, I glance up into piercing blue eyes. I feel the arctic air they bring. Andy. I give myself a thumbs up for remembering his new name.

“You’re really here.”

I notice his steadying hand at the small of my back. I start to melt into him and lean up to press my lips to his when I catch sight of two guys behind him. I wave because it’s only polite. As wasted as I am, I don’t want to embarrass Andy in front of his friends or colleagues.

“Catie, you can stop waving now.” Mandy is by my side and conspiratorially whispers only to me. By the smirks on the guys’ faces, they must have super human hearing abilities. “Who are these handsome guys? Have you been holding out on me?”

“Cate, Mandy, I have a cab. We should go now.” Daniel sounds way too sober. Mandy and I turn to face him.

“Don’t be such a Clark Kent,” I say to him over my shoulder.

When I glance to Andy, his back is turned to me. I can’t hear what he’s saying. When he turns around, I’m struck by just how goddamn good looking he is.

I hear Mandy introduce herself and the guys speak but my gaze is locked with Andy’s.

“Cate.” I blink a few times, only now putting it together that Andy was talking to me.

The two good looking guys wave a quick goodbye and walk away.

I chance speaking. “You didn’t have to let them go. Superman man here,” I hook a thumb in Daniel’s direction, “is going to save the day and take us home.”

As Andy blurs into one instead of two, I see his brows arch. “Superman, huh?”

A glance at Daniel confirms that three of him agree as their smiles beam like the girl in the toothpaste commercials.

I pat Andy’s chest and when I feel the solid muscle under my palm I pat it a few more times. “No need to be jealous. You’re totally Batman and everyone knows Batman is the sexiest of them all.”

“Not everyone,” Mandy declares. She’s sounds drunk and I’m almost embarrassed for her. “No offense Batman, but I’m really into Thor. So if you are truly the Dark Knight, will you hook me up with that Chris Hemsworth look alike that just left? What was his name?” Her words sputter but somehow it all comes out coherently.

“Guys, the cab is waiting.”

“Daniel, hold your horses,” Mandy drawls as she shifts her focus to our coworker. “Wait…you do look like Clark Kent.”

We high five it but miss. That’s weird. We try again, and totally fail. I start to crack up because it’s so damn funny. She shakes her head and decides to take a step in Daniel’s direction. I try to follow because his face is so sour, you’d think he’s swallowed a lime. However, Andy doesn’t let me go.

“I’ll make sure she ends up home safe,” Andy declares.

Daniel straightens, his super power allowing him to morph from three into five. I can’t help but comment. “You are so outnumbered,” I say to Andy or no one. I’m not sure.

Andy glances down at me but there isn’t humor in his eyes. When his face does that horror movie blur deal, I murmur, “You aren’t Batman are you? You’re something else?”

“I am something,” he mumbles back. Then his voice takes on bass and strengthens. “I’ve got her. You can take her friend home.”

The ocean starts to roll again and I lean on Andy, pressing my cheek on his chest. His wool coat is rough on my frozen cheek but I move in closer wanting to hear his heartbeat. I need to know he’s alive and I’m not in some crazy dream.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. We’re coworkers and I don’t know who you are,” Daniel says.

Andy’s voice sounds muffled though one ear and clear out the other. “Cate and I…, we have history. I guarantee she’s safe with me. I’ll get her home.”

Information I need to share gives me the strength to stand on my own once again. “Yeah, we’re going to have dinner and catch up on old times. I mean new times. And we’re planning to have breakfast.” I laugh before I become thoughtful. “I haven’t had breakfast in a while,” I say absently. And in an even softer voice because I have to share this secret only with Mandy, I add, “You know what breakfast is code word for.” I giggle and I can’t stop it even though I hate to giggle.

“Breakfast,” Mandy gives a thumbs up. Something must be in her eye because she has one closed with a weird look on her face. “Call and tell me all about it in the morning. I haven’t had breakfast either and I love sausage.”

She giggles the whole time as Daniel hustles her into the cab and I feel the world tilt. Andy steadies me. Then Daniel calls out, “Are you sure you’re going to be alright, Cate?”

I want to nod but I’m starting to feel nauseous. “You’re leaving me in good hands. He’s a doctor, you know.”

Daniel has lost his clones and gives me a curt nod before getting in the cab next to Mandy. When they drive off, I wonder why I feel bad about what I said. I’ve only been honest. But that thought leaves as another wave of seasickness fills me.

“My car is this way.”

“They have cars on oceans now? I think I need some Dramamine. I don’t feel so good.”

We stop and Andy faces me. “How much did you drink tonight?”

I try to shrug, but my shoulders feel like lead weights.

“Did you eat anything tonight?”

Fries enter my mind first. An unpleasant gurgle in my stomach forces the images of food to back off. I shake my head and speak through pressed lips. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Okay, fine, let’s get you home.”

Andy steers me along and my feet start to ache. I stop and attempt to take off my heels, but Andy’s hands stop me.

“Cate, sweetheart, it’s too cold for you to walk barefoot.”

“My feet hurt,” I complain, but he has me standing upright again.

“It’s not far, I promise.”

“I don’t think I can make it. Save yourself. I’ll just stay here to die.” I brush off his hands while trying to let gravity pull me to the ground.

Andy chuckles, then he sweeps me off my feet.

“Whoa there, cowboy. You’ve turned the world upside down.”

He speaks so faintly, I’m not sure I actually heard him say it. “You’ve turned my world upside down.”

In a normal voice, I’m so sure I dreamed those other words, he says, “We’re almost there.”

He makes me feel like Cinderella and I’m waiting for the magic to wear off. He shouldn’t be so nice to me.

“Why are you always trying to take care of me?”

He stares at me. And when he stops moving, his words are out of sync with the opening and closing of his mouth. “Because I—” Whatever direction he was going with that thought changes. “We aren’t going to talk about the past, right?”

I don’t answer because somewhere through the cloud of inebriation, I know that’s the plan. I try to focus on making it to his car without puking on him. When we arrive at the public garage, the only thing I will remember later about his car is that it’s sleek and shiny. He helps me sink into the buttery leather seat and I close my eyes, grateful I didn’t vomit the whole way here.

When my lashes flutter open, I realize I’m home. It’s dark and I have no memory of how I got here. What I do notice is that I’m still fully dressed and my clothes reek of alcohol. The stench makes me gag, yet I manage to stand. The fact that I sway on my feet tells me that alcohol still courses through my veins. I must not have been home very long. I have to steady myself on the wall after taking a few steps. The zing of pain in my feet alerts me that I still have my heels on. I kick them off before I walk out the room in search of the bathroom. I don’t bother to turn on any lights for fear of causing a blinding headache. The first door I open turns out to be a closet. I shake my head and turn in circles as my world continues to revolve around me. I walk down the halls until finally I make into my bath.

Fumbling with my sweater, I remember the thin belt at my waist. I have a doozy of a time getting it undone along with pulling the sweater over my head. That task done, I move next to undo my skirt. I end up chasing the back zipper like a dog does its tail. Finally, I give up and yank it off. My thong is a breeze but the bra gives me hell. When I’m finally naked, I grope for the shower knob and wait for the warm water. I pull open the door and pause because something’s not right. Then I remember the night with Andy and Daniel. I blink but step in the shower, hoping to clear out the confusion with the steam.

Standing there for a second, I recall Daniel’s deflated look. I wonder how I’ll face him at work on Monday and how I’ll survive Mandy’s wrath. She did warn me.

After a good scrub, I practically tumble out of the shower and I’m sure I’m forgetting something. My teeth. I snag the toothbrush and paste and get to work. Minty fresh breath doesn’t annoy my stomach. I fumble my way into the bedroom and leave the towel on the floor as I crawl into bed. With as much trouble as I had taking off my clothes, I don’t intend to waste time trying to put pajamas on.

When I blink my eyes open at some point later, there are three things I notice. First, the dreaded headache pounds just under the surface of my skull. I know I’m dehydrated by all the alcohol and need to drink some water to help ward it off. Second, the bad taste in my mouth. So much for my earlier brushing. I flick my tongue out, hoping to get rid of my cotton mouth. Third, I’m extremely warm, like I’ve been wrapped in an electric blanket. I cast off all those considerations and hope sleep will claim me again. I’m not quite ready to wake and no light seeps through the blinds. It’s still dark out, so it’s too early to get up.

Fantasy land is the best part of sleeping. I so easily slip back into dreamland. I haven’t been touched in so long; I’ve conjured my leading man very craftily with the help of some steamy romance novels I’ve recently read. His hands, which I’ve always loved, sweep down my torso. I’m a bit mad he doesn’t pay homage to my breasts, but that thought flitters away as his fingertips stroke over my bundle of nerves with perfect pressure.

“Oh my god, it’s been so long,” I say languorously.

“Yes, it has.”

I almost jump out of my skin. My eyes fly open as I jackknife into a sitting position. There is a man in my bed!

“Drew, I mean Andy.” I shake off the cobwebs because who else could it be? Besides, I would recognize his voice anywhere.

“Cate?”

“Why are you in my bed?” I’m now fully aware I’m naked. Fantasy land has morphed into reality. Despite our history, he’s never been one to take liberties. I yank the sheet up to neck level.

“Actually, you’re in my bed.” His proclamation rocks my world.

“What?” I continue to clutch the sheet as I scoot back to lean on the headboard. That’s when I notice the room for the first time. The dark furniture isn’t positioned the way my more modern pieces are. In fact, the door isn’t even on the side of the room it should be. So this can’t be my bedroom.

He matches my position against the headboard, only he doesn’t cover himself. His bare chest is there for me to peruse with my eyes and my hands if I were bold enough to do so. His muscled frame is defined ridges and hill tops that beg for attention. God, he is beautiful. I feel the moisture between my legs, which precedes the heat in my cheeks.

He takes my free hand in his and gives me a gentle smile.

“Cate, sweetheart, you passed out in my car. I had no idea where you lived. I checked your purse but you still have a South Carolina driver’s license. You should get that changed, by the way.”

He kisses my hand as if to put me at ease. His eyes land where I have a white knuckled grip on the sheet and he chuckles softly.

I feel stupid because he’s seen the goods, yet I can’t seem to let go of the sheet. Instead, I fill the silence with a hasty explanation. “I don’t own a car. So I keep forgetting to change my license.”

He nods and squeezes my hand. “I tried to wake you but you didn’t stir. I had no choice but to bring you home, not that I’m sorry about it.”

His eyes trail down my body like a caress.

“Where is home?” One glance through the partially open blinds and I know I’m not in downtown DC.

“Baltimore.”

“Baltimore?”

He nods again. I could question him more about that but I have other pressing questions that need answers.

“Why am I in your bed?”

The Drew I knew was a gentleman. If he wants us to start from scratch, he wouldn’t presume I’d sleep with him.

“I don’t know. I put you in my spare bedroom, fully dressed I might add. I woke up to the sound of you calling my name begging me to touch you.”

His eyes sweep down to my sheet-covered body and back up again. Even though I’m not exposed, I’m mortified by his revelation. Stumbling through his apartment and not finding my way in the middle of the night comes back to me. I’d been in search of the bathroom, and eventually crawled into his bed naked. He’d slept through the whole ordeal until I vocalized my fantasies. I slide down and lift the covers to hide myself completely, and then I see I’m not the only one naked.

I snatch the covers back off of my head. Then have the presence of mind to cover my breasts again. “You’re naked,” I accuse.

“Yeah, I kind of sleep that way. But you should know that.”

The problem is I know too much. This so isn’t going to work. It’s way too awkward for me. The past keeps colliding into the present. And even though he seems perfectly fine with it, I’m not. I roll to the side of the bed, dragging the sheet with me. I don’t look back as I stand, covering my bare ass, and skedaddle to the bathroom where I left my clothes if drunk-memory serves. By the time I come out, fully dressed sans my underwear, he has pajama bottoms on and is holding a glass of water and a bottle of Advil.

In one hand, I hold the balled-up thong I’d felt too gross to put back on after showering and plan to toss in my purse once I find it. He hands me two pills, and I drink them down with the glass of water I take from him.

“Thanks.”

“Not a problem. I would drive you home.” He glances at his watch. “But I’m due in the hospital in a half an hour. I guess I overslept.”

I wave him off. “No, it’s fine. I’ll call a cab.”

He shakes his head. “No need. You can drop me off at work and then use my car. I won’t need it. Come back later tonight and we can have dinner. Then I’ll take you home.”

“I can’t use your car. What if you suddenly need it?”

He steps forward and cups my chin. He rubs my cheek with the pad of his thumb. In his beautiful eyes I see all the memories we made together. The way he clenches his jaw, I know he’s fighting back the words to remind me of everything we shared.

“I’m going to be at work all day. I won’t need it. And I know we are starting fresh, but we know each other better than this. Take my car, and come back tonight. In fact, you can pick me up at work. It will give you the excuse you’ll need to have dinner with me.”

He presses a kiss to my temple before walking away, leaving me to chew on his words. I watch him lift a pair of pants that are slung across a chair in his room and pull out his car keys. He takes my hand and uncurls my fingers, placing the keys in my palm and closing my hand around them.

“Give me a few minutes to shower,” he says before disappearing in the bathroom.

I clutch the keys and stop myself from following him into the bathroom. It would be so easy to join him. It’s harder to stay rooted to my spot and not simply slide into the routine of us as a couple.

Long minutes later, I think I’ve barely breathed the whole time. The keys bite into my palm from the strength of my clutched fingers. He steps out with a towel around his hips and the slight pain in my hand is forgotten. He’s still damp with beads of water trickling down his back as he heads into his walk-in closet. I close my eyes and am immediately assaulted with fantasies of him lifting me with his powerful arms and taking me against the tiled shower wall. Clearly it’s been a while, I tell myself as I blink my eyes a few times trying to dispel the images.

When he walks out, he’s wearing a set of green scrubs. It reminds me of old times. He walks up to me and smooths my unruly hair back. It’s probably a bed head mess. I didn’t bother to glance at myself in the mirror when I got dressed.

“Come back tonight. I’ll fix you dinner.”

He’s always been one to ask for what he wants. I waver while considering my minor freak after waking up in his bed.

“No breakfast.” As much as he lights my fire in a big way, I can’t. “I’m not ready for breakfast.”

His indulgent grin makes me feel silly for even bringing it up.

“No breakfast. Not until we’re both ready for breakfast. But maybe a snack.”

His brow arches in question and I stare at his lips. My gaze must have lingered too long because he assumes my answer. His lips radiate warmth and security as they press against mine. For so long I’ve missed this. I’ve missed him. He pulls back and I almost wish he’d taken it deeper.

“Just dinner,” he whispers.

I roll in my lower lip and sigh. I have no idea how he doesn’t hate me or why he hasn’t moved on. He’s a great catch and easy on the eye. Women have to be banging down his door, which makes me jealous just thinking about it. Then again, despite our pact for a fresh start, nothing between us can ever be uncomplicated. But I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I close my eyes for a second before meeting his. I take the plunge. “Dinner, then.”