Текст книги "Cruel and Beautiful"

Автор книги: A. M. Hargrove

Соавторы: Terri E. Laine
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Текущая страница: 24 (всего у книги 28 страниц)

THE LIGHT COMING THROUGH MY window is hazy and gray. Clouds thick with frozen moisture loom above DC, putting the brakes on everything as the city waits with bated breath to see if the possible storm will materialize.

“As much as I hate to say it, you should get home or you’ll be stuck here with me for the foreseeable future.”

“Not a bad thing.” Andy tugs my back closer to his chest.

“We both know the hospital will need you.”

“Maybe I need you more.”

His words light a fire in my heart. I’m beginning to need him like I need food to survive.

“Andy,” I begin.

He groans. “For the record, I hate that we live so far apart. I’m getting used to waking up with you. We should think about getting a place together, somewhere halfway between there and here.”

My mouth goes dry. “What are you saying?”

He turns me around so that I’m facing him. “I’m saying I want us to share space. I’m saying that I need you Cate. We’ve spent enough time apart.”

I place my finger on his cheek and begin to trace his the line of his cheekbone. “No one knows we’re together yet. My parents, yours, … Ben.”

He sighs. “I know. Maybe we should tell them when we go home for Christmas. You are going home?”

I nod. As much as I don’t want to and deal with the questions and possible hurt feelings, I have to face that reality if I plan to be with him. And I’ll have to go back to calling him Drew. I’m not sure I’m ready for that either. The bubble wrap we’ve created around our relationship will finally pop.

“I am. When are you planning to go down?”

He shrugs. “I’m not sure. I’m asking because I thought maybe I could drive you down or back, if not both, depending on our schedules.”

“I’m planning to take the week, not much more.”

“Okay, I’ll see what days I can get off. And there’s something we should discuss later.”

I rise up on an elbow. “Tell me now.” Curiosity makes me feel like a kid at Christmas.

He shakes his head. “I have to leave and this is something we need to talk about. But before I go…” His hand snakes down the sides of my body. When he reaches my hip, one hand moves to my center to test the moisture levels. My climate is ripe for the taking and boy does he take me.

When he finally leaves the bed for the shower, I watch his perfect body with awe. He’s always been a specimen to behold. As his backside disappears into my bathroom, I hustle out after him. By the time he leaves for Baltimore, snow is starting to fall steadily. Nervous about the weather, I wait on pins and needles until he calls to let me know he got home safely.

The rest of my Sunday is spent taking care of the little things like cleaning up and laundry because I’ll be busy soon. I start a new engagement on Monday. The offices where I’ll be working the next few weeks are located on the other side of the Potomac in old town Alexandria, Virginia. It will just put more distance between Andy and me. I have to seriously consider a move so that we are closer together because waking up without him bothers me, too.

The amount of snow we’ve gotten before the official start of winter has all the news organizations talking on Monday morning. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving. That and I wanted to spend it with Andy. It was a quiet affair, the two of us cooking a dinner for the both of us. He got called into the hospital once. He wasn’t gone that long. Otherwise, we spent the weekend together and it was really nice. It made me want what he was offering that much more.

I sit in my living room enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee. Our offices are closed again today because the storm hit us head on. The federal government is closed and that means DC is practically shut down. Many businesses follow the feds as a rule for office closings because the feds rarely do since DC has an extensive public transportation system.

“You are coming to my Christmas party, right?” Jenna’s voice sounds loud and clear as I’m reminded I’m talking on the phone.

“I don’t know.”

“You have to. It’s like bestie code or something. Bring him with you.”

“That’s the thing. I’m not sure I’m ready for everyone to pry into the fact that we’re together again,” I say, even though Andy suggested we come clean.

“People are going to find out soon enough.”

She is right. “Still, don’t you think I should sit down and talk to everyone, not show up at a party with him on my arm? There is Ben to consider.”

Jenna sigh is loud and dramatic.

“Ben’s going through his own thing right now. I think some woman has crawled under his skin and turned him inside out. I don’t even know who my brother is anymore.”

“Oh, is it—”

“Don’t say her name and jinx it.”

We laugh for a few seconds before Jenna sobers.

“Really Cate, you can’t hide this. You’re going to have to be honest.”

“I know. I just don’t want to hear everyone’s opinion. And what if Ben hates us for it? He was there. He was there for all of it. He watched me walk away.”

“Are you back there again? No one hates you. I thought you’ve given up that guilt. That’s not what you need while you’re rebuilding your relationship. Did you just tell me he hinted at moving in together?”

“Yes, and I don’t know what to do. If I move, I’ll have to get a car. It’s a lot.”

“You can always move back to Charleston and be close to me.”

I laugh a little before I tell her the truth about something. “I can never move back to Charleston. All the old hurts and mistakes I made are there. I can never be settled there.”

“But you will visit.”

“Yes,” I say, even though I wish I never had to.

My parents, his parents, some of our best friends are lifers in Charleston. I may not be able to call it home, but it will always be home to my family and his.

Winter-like weather continues to batter the city through early December. It isn’t until the following Friday I get to see Andy again. There is a holiday party at his office tonight and one at the hospital tomorrow. I’ve packed a bag as I plan to spend the whole weekend with him. The Uber rides are costly but cheaper and less of a hassle than maintaining a car. However, I have started to look at cars on the off chance I decide to move in with Andy.

I’m dressed to impress in a subdued, sexy number that won’t shock the doctors Andy works with, but won’t age me unnecessarily either. I spent a fair amount of time with Mandy searching for the right dress.

When I get to Andy’s door, his expression says it all.

“Jesus, Cate, I’m surprised the cabbie didn’t kidnap you. That dress is—”

“Good?”

He nods and I lean in to kiss him. His arm snakes around my back as he draws me up against his hardening cock.

“Happy to see me?” I ask with a smirk, as I pull back slightly.

“I’m always happy to see you.”

He glances at the phone in his hand. “We could be fashionably late.”

“Or,” I say raising an eyebrow, “We can be on time.”

“Cate.” I can hear the protest in his voice.

“I don’t want the doctors you work with to think I’m the one causing you to be late. First impressions, remember.”

“Once they see you,” he says, stepping back and eyeing me up and down, “they will forgive me for being late. In fact, I’ll probably get bonus points for showing up at all.”

I can’t help but laugh. “How about I give you some attention on the ride over?”

His brows shoot up and I give him a wide grin. He takes my bags and drops them on the table. “After you, my lady.”

I giggle as he pats my butt on the way out. I love how carefree our relationship has gotten. And true to my word, I give him the promised happy ending on the ride to his office.

My palms begin to sweat as we take the elevator up. He’s explained to me that with the new laws surrounding medical care for all, their office had to cut spending. The small holiday party is being held in house to save money. Less money spent on frivolous things means more money in the hands of the doctors themselves. Still, they wanted to have the party, and the doctor Andy has been covering is coming with her new baby.

“Cate, you have no reason to be nervous,” Andy says with an arm around my back.

“Easy for you to say. What if they don’t like me?”

Andy stares at me. “I work with them. It’s not like they are my family.”

And isn’t that the crux of the problem?

“And what will your family say when I show up with you at Christmas?”

“It will be fine, Cate.”

The doors open and too soon I’m ushered into a glass front office. There are a few people milling about. We don’t have any more time to talk about the week to come.

The doctors are friendly as Andy introduces me, but it’s the baby who steals the show. The infant is carefully passed around after hands are disinfected with liquid sanitizer. When it’s my turn, I feel the tears begin to form in the back of my eyes. I want this. I want a baby and a family. And I want it with Andy. The possibility of this could be derailed depending on how our week goes. I know Andy wants to think that it will be okay. But I’ve broken Andy’s heart once.

“Cate,” Andy says. He glances to the woman in front of me waiting to take the small bundle from my arms.

I hand the baby off and I immediately feel like something’s missing. The tiny baby who smells like powder makes me want too much in a short few minutes. I sip at the glass of wine Andy hands me and try not to think so hard about a future I want and may not get.

Later as the party wraps up, one of the older doctors with only a small thatch of white hair that clings to the crown of his head, speaks.

“Well Cate, what’s the verdict?”

I glanced up confused by the question that’s directed at me.

“Verdict?”

“We’re all hoping Drew will stay with us. And the way he speaks of you, I think his decision largely depends on you.”

I turn my head to the side and glare at Drew. He gives me a sheepish smile.

“Actually, I haven’t had a chance to talk to Cate about your offer yet.”

“Oh,” the man says. “Sorry, we are all just so pleased with Drew’s accomplishments so far. He will make a great addition to the team. And of course, a second office in DC will expand our client base.”

“DC,” I say to no one in particular.

That sparks conversation all around me. Drew uses the opportunity to draw me down the hall away from everyone. He pulls me into an office and closes the door.

“Andy, what’s going on?”

He takes my hands and my heart begins to race.

“I planned to talk to you about this later tonight. I didn’t expect they would put me or you on the spot like this.”

My eyes are wide because I don’t know what he’s about to do.

“Cate, I love you and I always have, you know this.”

I nod. I’m so very afraid he’ll get on one knee. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

“Roslyn is coming back part-time to the office. However, they want to bring me on full time. To help justify the cost, they want to open a satellite office in DC. I’ll be there most of the time but will have a couple of days in Baltimore a month and will rotate hospital hours in both DC and Baltimore. It means I could move to DC.”

“That’s great,” I say.

His smile dips. “You don’t seem happy.”

“It’s not that. I’m just overwhelmed. It’s a lot. But it sounds like a fantastic opportunity.”

Even I know the smile on my face is a little weak. I try to crank it up because isn’t this what I’ve wanted?

The delight on his face falls. “You don’t want us to move into together.”

“I’m not saying that. I just need some time.”

He nods. “You’re right. I’ve grown to enjoy the area, but I’ll be honest with you. You sweeten the deal. If you don’t want this, if you don’t want me …”

He stops, not finishing his thought. I want to tell him everything is great. The words are stuck in my throat for reasons that make me itch to run. I promised him I wouldn’t.

He takes my hand and opens the door. He leads me back to the main room as hugs are being doled out and coos are being made over the baby. I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. I can’t explain what’s come over me and why I’m not happy when moments ago, I was dreaming of babies with Andy.

The drive back to his place is quiet. We get undressed and do our nightly ritual without saying much. I know Andy is hurt and I never meant to be the one to hurt him. It’s almost awkward when we climb into bed. Still he pulls me close.

“Cate,” he says softly.

“Yes.” I feel the panic rising in me, unsure what he will say or ask of me.

“I want this shot at a future with you. You have all the reasons in the world to be scared. And I know you said you wouldn’t run. But I won’t hold you hostage. If you can’t be with me, it will hurt like hell, but I would rather you say it.”

I keep my clam trap shut at first. He lets out a long suffering breath of air. I meet his pleading eyes.

“I’m scared.” It’s a truth he deserves to know.

“What are you scared of?”

“Everything. I’m scared of how people will react when they find out. Mostly, I’m scared my heart can’t handle breaking a second time.”

“No one else matters. Just you and I. And I swear Cate, I won’t break your heart.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

He doesn’t counter because he knows there is truth in my words. Instead, he wraps strong arms around me and holds me tight. He strokes my hair while I let out quiet sobs.

When finally the tears ease and I can speak, I whisper the words, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He breathes the phrase and I find myself searching and listening to the beat of his heart. It’s a long time before I can sleep.

Tomorrow is the party at the hospital. His future partners will be there. I need to have some answers for Andy in the morning and I fear what I want. I don’t think I’ll be able to feel solid about our relationship until it’s out in the open with our family and friends. That means I need to tell him about Jenna’s party. No doubt Ben will be there.

IN HIS ARMS, I WAKE up feeling safe. I lay still, content in his comforting embrace. I want to memorize his smell, his touch, his love, so I’ll never forget it. And I know it’s the past that continues to haunt me. Yet, he’s still here even after my minor freak out over finding out he wants to stay in the area for me.

When he begins to stir, I turn to face him.

“Good Morning.”

He presses his lips to mine. “Morning.”

I reach to twine my fingers in his hair. “Your hair is getting long.”

He gives me an impish grin. “I know. You want to cut it for me?”

I shake my head, knowing I’m dancing around the unspoken issue, so I push forward. “About last night…”

He takes my hand and presses a soft kiss to my fingertips. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you, especially with everyone there watching.”

“It’s wasn’t your fault,” I say. He hadn’t been the one to bring it up. “And besides, I want you to stay.”

A cautious smile blossoms on his face. “Are you sure?”

“I am, but…” I hesitate because this is the hard part. “We have to tell our family and friends.”

As much as it scares me, it has to happen.

He nods, and his expression sobers. “Are you going home for Christmas?”

“I’m going down for the week.”

His words don’t falter, which makes me wonder if he’s already thought about this.

“We can tell everyone then. I have to work most of the week. I should make it into Charleston by Christmas Eve.”

I remember something I haven’t yet brought up. It seems both of us have been holding back just a little.

“Jenna’s having a Christmas Eve party.”

He nods like he already knew.

“It’s a good place to start.”

His eyes hold me like an anchor, so I press forward.

“Ben.” It’s both a statement and question. I know he understands.

“It will be fine.”

I shake my head. “Easy for you to say. No one will hate you.”

He’s quick with a retort.

“Cate, no one will hate you either. I’m surprised Jenna didn’t crack and tell Ben about us already.”

Frankly, I am too. “He’ll be mad we kept this from him.”

“Babe.” He kisses me softly. “We can’t worry about everyone else’s feelings. This is about us. And you are it for me and you have been.”

He clears his throat, only to cover his mouth with a fist and let out a cough.

My body locks up as if I’ve been flash-frozen.

Slowly, I force the words out of my mouth. “Are you okay?”

He nods, but coughs again. “It’s nothing, a tickle in the back of my throat.”

I say nothing. He’s not stupid. He knows what’s running through my head.

“Cate, babe, it’s the season for colds and flu. I see patients every day. They have germs. I’m okay. I swear. I probably shouldn’t kiss you, though.”

He gives me a teasing grin, but doesn’t let me respond. He soothes my worried soul with tender touches and wondrous kisses on my body. I lose myself in feelings that aren’t emotions. He makes me forget that life is fragile, that we are fragile.

We spend a lazy morning in bed and he hasn’t coughed anymore. I’ve let the worry go for now. At some point, he gets up and makes us breakfast. I feel so spoiled I show him my appreciation in all the ways that has him gripping my hair and calling out my name.

I don’t even know how we make it to the hospital’s Christmas party later that evening. Andy holds my hand as we walk into the ballroom of the hotel next to the hospital.

“Convenient,” I say to Andy as he ushers me through the front doors.

“They wanted staff to be able to come over and be close if they are called back in case of an emergency.”

The dress code isn’t black tie. People come in a variety of outfits from very causal to semi-formal. The black dress I’m wearing is somewhere in the middle. As I take in the room, which isn’t as fancy as the balls I’ve been to over the past few months, the décor is nice and more comfortable than some pretentious places I’ve been. I’m not sure what to expect, but it isn’t the warm welcome I get from Becca.

“Hi. Cate, isn’t it?”

I smile. Andy is behind me speaking to some of his colleagues and Becca is positively beaming. Before she can say anything else, a man not much taller than her comes over and slips an arm around her waist. Her face lights up and I understand where her glow comes from. I couldn’t be happier for her.

A hand gently touches the small of my back and I turn to the side to see Andy standing next to me. A little more than cordially, he says, “Becca, Fredrick.”

Becca gives Drew a megawatt smile and Fredrick matches her.

“Drew,” he says. “And this must be—” says Fredrick, the ginger, with a possessive arm around Becca.

“Cate,” I say holding out my hand.

“Nice to meet you.”

He gives me a business handshake while Becca smiles at Drew. “Fredrick tells me I have you to thank for convincing him to ask me out. He says you gave him the push he needed to take the chance.”

Drew laughs as if she’s exaggerated the story. “He was almost there. I just got him to realize that sometimes it’s good to take a risk.”

His eyes brush over me and I wonder if he thought I was a risk when I kept running from him.

She steps in and gives Drew a quick friendly hug. I’m surprised when I feel no hint of jealousy. It’s clear she’s smitten with Fredrick. “Thanks.” Then in almost a whisper, she adds, “I think he could be the one.”

Her smile borders on shy as she steps back and lets Fredrick put his arm around her. I start to calculate when this all happened, considering her bold statement of Fredrick being her one. Only someone calls out the name Drew from across the room. We turn and see Désirée barreling toward us. She stops short when she sees me.

“Drew?”

I’m not sure why there is a question in her voice. I glance over my shoulder and see that Becca and Fredrick have been roped into another conversation. So I don’t feel so bad that we’ve rudely turned away from them.

“Désirée, I’m surprised to see you here. This is a staff event,” Andy says questioningly.

“I’m on the board now.” Her tone is brusque and she’s busy checking out all the places we touch as Andy has me tucked against his side. “I hear that you might be moving to another hospital.”

She glances between us.

“I’m moving to DC to be closer to Cate,” Andy says matter-of-factly.

For a second, her eyes narrow before they open with wide-eyed, fake glee. “Congratulations. I hope to get a wedding invitation soon.”

She’s probing and I’m prepared with an answer, but Andy beats me to it.

“We’ll be sure to mail you one.”

It’s hard to hold back a snicker as her smile flattens out. I know she expected that he’s say something to contradict her. Instead, he’s given her exactly what she doesn’t want to hear.

“Great, I look forward to it.” She spins on her heels and stalks away.

I let the laugh come out that I’ve been holding back.

“That was brilliant. Too bad we have no invitation to send.”

Andy’s magnetic blue eyes gaze into mine. “You never know.”

My hand stills midair with the wine glass I’ve been holding. I’m not sure what to say to that.

“Drew,” another person calls and we are pulled into another introduction and conversation.

Later, I’m finally able to step away as a long winded doctor draws Drew into a conversation with so many nonsensical five syllable words, my head starts to spin. I’ve just picked up one of the yummy calamari appetizers when a woman steps into my personal space.

Her blonde hair is carefully styled in an updo, but I recognize her as the one who couldn’t keep her lips to herself and off of Drew.

“You may have won this round, but if you manage to marry him, you’ll still lose. Half of the doctors here cheat on their spouses with nurses and other staff. I mean, they spend more time with us than they do at home with their spouses.”

Everything about her looks angry.

I can’t stop the quick retort that barrels out of my mouth. “You realize that if you didn’t walk around with a sneer on your face, any one of the single guys here tonight would ask you out. You’re an attractive woman whose beauty is hidden behind hate and envy. A genuine smile and happy thoughts would go a long way toward getting a man that wants you. And a bit of advice—no man wants to be chased. Men like to do the chasing.”

I think of HockeyHo as I shake my head feeling so sorry for the woman before me. I pivot and plow right into Andy. He must have come up while I was talking.

“Cate.” My name is but a whisper from his sly and half parted smile. He leans down and kisses me right in front of the woman and anyone else nearby to see.

I still don’t know her name, but I don’t care either—especially while Andy is touching me. He puts an arm around me and I turn back to face her. Only she’s stalking off before we can share any other words.

“I sure am one lucky woman.” I glance up at the man I call mine.

Andy appears mystified. “Why is that?”

“My boyfriend is like a super star.”

He gives me a cheeky grin. “I’m lucky too. Do you know how many guys have come up to me tonight and begged me to tell them you were just my sister so they could ask you out?”

I shake my head. “No way.”

“Yes, way, my beautiful Cate.”

He makes me feel beautiful, but I don’t say it. Instead, I teasingly say, “So it’s my beauty you want.”

“Pot and kettle and all that. You called me a mega model.” He winks at me.

“Did not.” I playfully slap at his arm. “Super star, Doctor extraordinaire, the man who could have any one he wants.”

“And he wants only one woman. The one before me. So why don’t you let me take you home so I can get even luckier?”

He kisses me again before we leave the party and when we get back to his place, he makes good on his promise.

Days later when I arrive at my parents’ house in Charleston for the holidays, I sit in the kitchen with my mother.

“You can’t stay more than a couple of days?” Mom pouts.

“I promised Jenna I would help get her place ready for the party. It’s just easier if I stay with her.”

I don’t want to feel like a kid sleeping at my parents’ house. They will want to know my every move, especially with my younger sister and brother at home. I plan to spend every night with Andy when he arrives. Which is why I’m staying with Jenna and not them because they would never allow it.

“You’re coming Christmas morning to open presents.”

I sigh. “Mom, I’m not five.”

“I know. But you’ll always be my baby.”

She kisses the top of my head and I feel bad.

“I’ll be by Christmas day at some point.” I take in a deep breath and just say the words I’ve been thinking about all day. “And I’ll be bringing Drew with me.”

I don’t bother calling him Andy because that’s not how they know him and they will think I’m talking about someone else.

Shannon breezes into the kitchen. “So what’s this about Drew coming?”

My sister is apparently still boy crazy. I don’t remember being that bright eyed every time a hot guy’s name was mentioned in a conversation. She was like this a few years ago and nothing’s changed. Mom says nothing while she continues to cut out Christmas shapes in the cookie dough when she pauses. I decide to clarify my words. “Drew and I are back together.”

Mom doesn’t acknowledge my words, only continues what she was doing being uncharacteristically quiet.

Shannon, on the other hand, goes for sarcasm. “Of course you are. I bet he’s giving it to you real good.”

“Shannon Forbes,” Mom warns. “Stop being sassy. Go upstairs and clean your room.”

She heads out and my brother walks in. “What’s going on?” he asks when he spots the fury on Mom’s face.

“Cate is shacking up with her boyfriend and doesn’t want to tell Mom.”

Eric shakes his head and does an about-face as I yell, “I am not shacking up with Drew.”

Shannon waves a dismissive hand and I’m left alone with Mom whose stewing on Shannon’s words or mine. I’m not sure. It could be both.

After agonizing moments, she finally says, “Are you sure that’s a good idea that you and Drew get back together?”

I’ve expected a reaction, just not that one. “Why?”

“Catelyn, you and I both know how hard everything was on you. Are you sure you can handle this?”

“Hard on me? I’m the one that ran. Do you not like him or something?”

She’d never indicted she had a problem with him. I don’t understand why she’s on my side and not his.

“It’s not that. He’s a fine young man. I’m just worried about you.”

“Don’t be. I haven’t been this happy since,” I wave a hand in the air. “Since then.”

I don’t tell her that I had the very fears she’s mentioned. I don’t want her to worry because Andy is great and he’s mine. Somehow, it will all work out.

Dad walks in and glances at us. “What’s with the long faces?”

I dive in headfirst and blurt, “I’m seeing Drew again.”

Dad’s reaction is far different from Mom’s. He walks over and places a comforting hand on mine. “I’m glad. Now I understand that smile when you walked in the door, not that I’m complaining. Any man can make my baby happy, is good enough for me.”

“Thanks Dad.”

Mom doesn’t say any more over the next few days. Shannon does her best to annoy me and Eric and I play video games as he tells me about making the basketball team. Dad and I get a tree the next day and as a family we spend the time decorating it. It feels good to be home and I haven’t felt that way in a while.

When I arrive at Jenna’s the next night, Ben is there.

“Catie Bear,” Ben says wrapping me in a hug.

I don’t correct him because Ben and I became best friends during all of the bad days that summer.

“Ben, I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve talked.”

“It has. And I hear you have news for me.”

Damn, Jenna. But I’m surprised she’s hadn’t spilled the beans so far.

“Drew.” I clear my throat because I’m more afraid of his reaction over my parents. “Drew and I are back together.”

He nods, not as all surprised. “Figures. I guess I’m the last to know.”

He gives me a look but it isn’t condemning.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want anyone to know until we figured it out. I wasn’t sure if it would work. Plus, I wasn’t ready for the backlash.”

“Backlash?”

“I don’t want anyone mad because we’re together.”

“Why would anyone be mad?”

I stop and close my mouth for a second. “Isn’t it obvious? I walked away.” I amend that. “No, I ran. You were there. I wasn’t even sure he’d forgive me.”

“What would he have to forgive? You did what you thought was best at that time. No one blames you, Cate. Least of all me.”

I hug him and barely stop myself from crying. “I wasn’t sure how you and everyone would feel.”

He pats my back while I continue to hold him tight. He’s like my big brother as much as he’s Jenna’s.

“I’m happy for you, Cate. I’m happy for both of you. You deserve it.”

As much as I’m grateful he’s fine with all of it, I worry about him too.

“What about you?”

He pulls back and I can see the sadness in his eyes. He shrugs and tries to give me a playful smile when he speaks, but I know he feels some truth of his words. “I’m all alone here in Charleston now.”

I shake my head feeling like a mama bear that needs to protect her cub.

“That’s not true. You’ve got Jenna. And you can always come up for a visit. We would love to have you.”

He nods.

“By the way. I heard you’re bringing someone to the party.”

He shrugs. “She’s a warm body.”

“Warm body, that’s not a very good description,” I say with halfhearted humor.

“What do you want to know? She’s pretty and intelligent? Well, she is both of those things, but I’m not expecting any more than that. We all aren’t lucky to have what you two have, Cate. I’m not expecting a fairytale ending.”

I narrow my eyes at him.

“With an attitude like that, you won’t get one either. She could be your happily ever after if you give her a chance.”

I see the humor leave him and he’s got his dead serious face on.

“She can warm my bed, but nothing will thaw this cold heart.”

He points to his chest and I place my hand there.

“Don’t bullshit me Ben Rhoades. I know you now. You aren’t the cold-hearted bastard I used to think you were.” Which is probably the reason my crush on him died shortly after it began back when I was a preteen. He had a reputation of breaking hearts and bad boys were never my thing. “I feel your beating heart and you deserve to be happy.”

“I am happy. I’m happy for you and Drew.” He steps away like he’s in a hurry. “Anyway, I’ve got to get going. I have to help my parents move furniture or something.” He grabs his coat. “It was really good seeing you, Cate.”

Then he is gone. I stand there worried about him. He hasn’t been himself or so Jenna’s told me. When she comes downstairs with her purse, she says, “Where’s Benny?”