Текст книги "Cruel and Beautiful"

Автор книги: A. M. Hargrove

Соавторы: Terri E. Laine
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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 28 страниц)

WHAT FEELS LIKE A LIFETIME of memories flashes before me as Andy stands there with his hand held out to me. The remembrance of budding love, the sorrow of cancer—a faceless foe, even the crook of a smile for HockeyHo’s antics, and back to that painful day of my leaving. As the moments pass, I blink back tears and say nothing about the hefty guilt that hovers in the background.

As Andy waits for me, I feel a tear slip through my barrier. It spills down my cheek as I raise my hand to take his. I want this man more than I’ve been prepared to admit. I let the pain of the past wash away with the tear as it drops from my face and crystalizes on the ice that is beneath my feet.

He takes his thumb and gently wipes away the residue of long ago hurt. Then, I’m pulled forward feeling unsteady and worried about the future. His hand feels solid in mine and I know I have to trust him with my heart. If only I can trust myself. My momentum pushes him backward to smoothly glide over the ice. I’m carried along, wobbly at first, until he’s there to steady me.

His earnest eyes haven’t left me once and I’m in awe of the emotions I see churning in them. The blue is as clear as the daytime sky and shines through the night that surrounds us. I’m romanced by how he is bringing me out of my own darkness through his guiding light.

“I remember the first time I saw you.”

His voice breaks into my tumbling thoughts.

“You had no idea I saw you. I remember thinking that’s a woman I can see spending the rest of my life with.”

I smile up at him. “How could you know that?”

He hooks his hands in my coat pockets and draws me closer. “Mom told me when I met the one, I would know. And Dad backed her up. Corny, but they’ve been married for over fifty years. It’s hard not to trust their advice.”

He doesn’t back down from my challenging stare and I become undone by his sincerity. I bury my face in his chest as he takes the lead in our lover’s embrace. We skate facing each other across the expanse of the ice, and he makes me feel safe in his capable hands.

His words are soft when he speaks again. “I know we can make this work, Cate, if you let me.”

How on Earth can something so right be so difficult? I pull back as he slows us to a stop. “Honestly, I’m surprised you did this.” I glance around and wonder what woman has had a man rent out a rink for a private skate. It has to be one of the most romantic things ever. “I was so sure you’d given up on me.”

His tentative smile sobers to a pensive line. “There were times I wanted to,” he confesses before a lingering pause. When he speaks again, his voice lightens some from his somber tone. “I had to remember there are some things in life are worth fighting for. And you, Cate, are one of those. I want you; you have to know that by now. But I can’t promise I’ll chase you forever. I do have some pride left.”

His admission is almost honest to a fault, which is why I know I can trust it.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you won’t run. Say you’re in this as much as I am. Say you want me the same way as I want you.”

The determined expression on his face causes a V to form between his brows. He’s in this for keeps. And it’s time for me to make that leap of faith. “When I took your hand and came out here, I’d decided I wouldn’t run anymore. I want this. I want you.”

He raises my hand and twirls me. I’m not an expert skater but in his arms I feel like I can do anything. I spin but lose my footing and we fall in spectacular fashion.

The sky above Washington, DC is too bright with manmade lighting to have a clear view of the stars. As we lie there, I imagine what they look like.

“Are you going to get up?”

I laugh. “I thought maybe we should stay down and make snow angels. It might be safer.”

His chuckle comes from somewhere deep in his chest. Before I can think more about it, he’s there cupping my face and pressing soft warm lips to mine. I’m reminded again how good it can be between us. Then he stands up before me, and offers a hand up. “Come on, snow princess. There will be time for snow angels later. We should go skiing… soon.”

Reluctantly, I’m up on my feet again. As we begin to skate side by side, I notice the dull heartache in my chest hasn’t completely left. Yet for once, I feel as though I can breathe through it.

The magic of the night imprints on my brain as much as my heart. Lights that circle the rink along with the holiday decorations twinkle and add a sort of enchanted quality to our nighttime skate under the hidden stars. Even without a full-skirted dress and glass slippers, this man makes me feel like I stepped into a fairytale.

The night only ends because the guy comes to tells us he has to close up for the night. I find myself smiling uncontrollably when we change back into our shoes.

“Someone’s in a good mood.”

“Only because I’m one lucky girl.”

I’m still floating on the drive home. He turns off the engine after he finds a park on the other side of the street.

“Let me walk you up.”

I have no intention of letting this man leave tonight, but I only nod. We get out and I do my best to dodge the dirty gray snow that has yet to melt from the last storm. He takes my hand in his and we enter my apartment building as a unit, an unbreakable couple. Or so I hope. When we get to my door, I turn to ask him in. Before I can speak, he twines our fingers together.

“I had a great night.”

My jaw drops because he sounds like he’s actually going to leave. Then a sinful smirk appears on his mouth right before he dips his head and covers my lips with his. At first the gentle pressure is sweet. After one taste of him, everything changes. I reach up and tangle my fingers in his hair, trying to bring him closer. His hands land on my waist under my coat as I explore every inch of his mouth.

When his grip tightens, I feel cool air on skin as my shirt lifts. He takes advantage, and I feel his fingertips glide across my bare skin, under my shirt and around to the small of my back.

I’m breathing so hard when I pull back and say, “Please stay tonight.”

He stares at me a second before he captures my mouth in a hot tangle of emotions. Then he strips the keys from my other hand that dangle at my side. Quickly, the door opens at my back. His hand steadies me as we step inside with tandem precision without a breath between us.

As the door closes behind us, I let my purse fall. He takes a step back to heatedly glance over me. I decide to give him more of a view, so I let my coat fall to pool at my feet. I kick it aside as he takes his own coat off with more care. He blindly places it on the high kitchen counter behind him that separates the kitchen from the tiny living room.

Then he steps into me and cups my chin possessively to expose my neck. He places a hot trail of kisses down toward my shoulder as I try to remain standing. When he reaches my collar bone, his hands shift. He lifts his head and his eyes are focused on me. He slowly pushes my sweater up while his hands roam over my ribcage and then over my breasts, which instantly feel heavier. Once my bra is fully exposed, he latches onto my nipple through the thin fabric while continuing to skim the sweater up my arms. When it reaches my wrist, he holds my arms there to stretch over my head as I feel myself grow wet with need.

“Please,” I beg for everything and nothing at the same time.

His hot mouth releases my breast as he slowly faces me. His lips are but a whisper from my own.

“What Cate? What do you want from me?”

I squirm, trying to close my legs tight enough to create the pressure I seek between my thighs. His next move shows he knows what I want. His free hand cups me through the fabric of my pants and the heel of his palm presses against my nub just hard enough to make me needier, but not yet fulfilled.

“Andy,” I breathe.

Instantly, his hand is gone and I groan in frustration. “Tell me what you want, sweet Cate.”

“I want you.”

“I know that,” he says confidently. His words or maybe his voice ratchets up my desire for him. “Be specific, Cate.”

“Make love to me.”

He moves in and sucks my lower lip into his mouth. He gently bites it before releasing it with a quiet pop. “I’m afraid I can’t make love to you Cate.”

I’m devastated because he sounds serious. Only his hand is back. This time he uses his thumb to circle my clit before pressing it hard. I cry out as Louise begins to fire on all cylinders. Like a sadist, he pulls back just before the final countdown has ended.

“Why?” I ask in frustration.

His answer comes when his deft hands undoes my pants. It takes a second before they tangle at my ankles. I feel trapped. It should frighten me, but just like how he took me on the balcony turned me on, I am ready and willing to be at his mercy. Still, I kick the pants to the side.

He still hasn’t answered me even though my heavy lids droop as I voicelessly plead with him. His hand is back and I’m not sure whether I should be embarrassed as his fingers press my damp thong against my hot skin. I don’t have time to explore those thoughts. His skilled fingers easily slip the fabric barrier to the side as he shoves two fingers inside me.

“You’re wet for me.”

“Yes, always.” I admit it, hoping for points so he gives me what I want.

I buck my hips against his thrust, ready to do anything if he would just let me come. The build up to my orgasm is quicker now because I’ve yet to spill over the edge. I want to curse him when he pulls them out before I can find release.

“Please,” I plead again.

He groans and presses me into the wall with the full weight of his body. I feel his erection grind into me but only once. Then his body stills.

“I can’t Cate. I can’t make love to you.”

Confused to the point of exasperation, I whine. “I don’t understand. Why can’t you?”

His hips rub against mine again. It’s maddening when I know he wants me as much as I want him. I try to pull against his restraining hand at my wrist because I know if I can touch him, I can change his mind.

He puts some space between us and I arch my back trying to keep contact with his lower half. Only he pushes me back into the wall with a firm hand on my center as he guides my bottom to meet the wall. I moan as his touch lights a fire in me. Again, he removes his hand, but I’m encouraged by the sound of him undoing his belt.

“I can’t make love to you Cate because I have to fuck you first.”

I don’t have time to process his words. He releases my wrist and he spins me around to face the wall. Then he lines himself up to rub against the cleft of my ass. I drop my hands to reach back and touch him, only he snags my wrist.

“No touching. Not yet.”

He takes my other wrist and uses what feels like the leather of his belt to bind me as my cheek presses against the cool wall. It feels wicked and the desire in me intensifies. I’ve never done this before, but I feel safe with him. I know he won’t hurt me.

He takes my shoulders and turns me to face him before he steps back to admire his handiwork.

“God Cate, you’re so damn beautiful.”

His kisses me hard and I writhe, waiting for him to make his next move.

“You’re not afraid are you?”

I shake my head, unable to form words.

“Good, because I’m going to fuck you now.”

His thumbs slip underneath the hem of his boxer briefs. As he tugs them down, his impressive erection springs free like a divining rod. He steps forward and lifts me with remarkable strength, using the wall like an elevator shaft. Up I go, my arms pinned between me and the wall. When I stop, I feel his tip at my entrance.

“I want you bare, Cate. I’ve never been with anyone else skin to skin. I want no barriers between us.”

“Yes, please. I haven’t been with anyone else since you.”

His grin is anything but sweet. It’s sinful. Then he lets gravity pull me down around him. My back pulls away from the wall as my body bows from the contact.

“Fuck,” he growls.

I voice my pleasure with mewls and other nonsensical words. Managing to hold me up with one arm, he uses the other to take hold of my head and angle me for a kiss. His tongue penetrates my mouth just as impressively as he fucks me mercilessly against the wall. I’m sure I’ll have bruises in the morning and I don’t care.

Taking me by surprise, he pulls out and sets me on my feet only to turn me around. With a hand pressed to my shoulder, he bends me over a little before he enters me again with striking force. I’d bang my head against the wall if not for his hand holding my hips steady. I feel off balance, but the pleasure is beginning to eclipse anything else as my brain clouds, clearing any coherent thoughts.

He slips his hand around my waist and applies pressure to my clit. His other hand grabs my breast and tweaks my nipple. His shift in movement allows him to go deeper inside me at a different angle. It touches something inside that sends me shooting off like a bottle rocket. I explode and scream out my pleasure. He’s relentless. The sound of our flesh slapping against each other is enough to start another orgasm building within me on the heels of the last.

“Cate, baby, are you close?”

I hear his words, but I’m in another place and can only moan in response.

He squeezes my breast before his hand comes around to my ass. His finger circles a place I thought off limits. “Oh! What are you doing?”

“You like that?” He prods a finger at my backdoor entrance and stokes his other fingers over my clit in a circular motion. “I want to have you there eventually.” He continues to stroke, prod, and otherwise rock my world when he asks a different question. “Are you still on the pill?”

I nod frantically as he continues to ring my g-bell with each stroke.

“Good, I’m coming.”

His words are enough to get me to detonate again as he slams into me. My toes curl against the floor boards as I try to maintain my position and not fall. A few more banging thrusts and he stills inside me. He presses his head to my back before he brings us both to a standing position. My bound hands stop my back from fully meeting his chest, but I don’t complain.

Soft lips skim up my neck until he whispers in my ear, “I will never get enough of you.”

The hand that isn’t cupping my breast manages to undo the belt restraint from my wrists. When my arms fall free, he turns me to face him so he can take each of my wrists and rub them gently as the blood circulates. Then he kisses each one.

“Are you okay?”

I bob my head once, having no idea how I managed to stay on my feet as long as I have on rubbery legs. Finally, I begin to fall to my knees ready to give up the fight with gravity. He’s there to catch me under my legs to lift me up. I’m languidly limp in his arms, sated and satisfied. I feel as though I’m floating as he cradles me in his arms. He walks me all the way to my bedroom to carefully lay me on the bed.

He places a chaste kiss to my forehead. “Wait here.”

I want to tell him I couldn’t move if I wanted to, but I lack the energy to say the words. When he comes back, he cleans me up with a damp wash cloth. My eyes are heavy with sleep.

“You can have a little rest. But I’m not done with you.”

His warm arms wrap me in their embrace and I snuggle into the curve of his body as drowsiness descends. I feel amazing as I slip into sleep. Sometime later, I’m awakened when his cock fills me again as we lie on our sides. I’m a little sore, but say nothing as he slowly slides in and out of me in an unhurried rhythm. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t come even though I have when he pulls out and raises my leg. He moves to lay his face on my thigh as his mouth covers me. His tongue takes a dive into a happy Louise as I fist a hand in his hair, overcome with the feels as my toes curl. He uses his mouth to fuck my pussy just like he kisses, long strokes and sucking my nether lips and clit until I skim through the horizon of pleasure like a shooting star.

Just as my orgasm ebbs, his cock replaces his mouth and he moves inside me again. He makes love to me this time. It’s not loud or frantic like earlier. Soft moans and groans fill the room as my heart expands with need. I have no idea when we finally fall asleep. I only know when I wake, I smell coffee.

I open my eyes and shoot out of the bed when I see the time on my silent alarm clock reads seven.

“Shit,” I call out. “I’m going to be late.”

I scramble into the bathroom and take a quick shower. I mourn the fact that I’m washing Andy’s sexy scent off me. It makes me feel branded. A feeling I haven’t had in a while. But I can’t go into the office smelling like sex. The water is warm and I hate that I have to rush my shower, but if I don’t get a move on, I won’t make it to the office on time.

There is no time to blow dry my hair, which sucks because the temperature outside is probably going to be below freezing. I comb it back and pull a ponytail holder around it. I apply a little makeup after brushing my teeth and head out to my bedroom.

Andy is there, wearing only pants. He holds two steaming mugs and extends one out to me.

I step over to grab it. “You’re a godsend.”

“I don’t know about that,” he says on a chuckle.

He’s so damn beautiful and that crooked smile makes me want to jump him.

I delight in the taste of a good morning cup of joe before I set what is left down on the bedside table and walk naked over to my dresser.

“Sore?” he asks.

Mortified he notices that I’m walking a little strangely, I feel my cheeks flush. “A little, but in a good way.”

I pull out the necessary undergarments and try not to squirm under the weight of his gaze as I put them on. He makes me feel naked, and not just the clothes-less kind of way. I feel like he can read my soul as he watches me.

“You should take a video,” I tease, trying to hide my discomfort.

His brow quirks. “Didn’t know you were into sex tapes.”

“Hardy, har, har.”

I stride past to go into my closet to find something to wear. I grab the first thing I see, a cream blouse, navy pants and a matching short jacket. It’s professional and stylish enough to make an appearance at Ted’s office.

When I put the blouse on, Andy, still shirtless, shakes his head. I turn away to sit in order to put on my pants. When I stand again, he’s holding a turtleneck up in my direction.

“I think this is better.”

I laugh wondering when I last wore that. It’s something I should have given away long ago. “Why is that?”

He walks over and places a finger above the top button of the blouse. It lands right at the crest of my cleavage.

“You have to know after last night, I’m not sharing you with anyone else.”

I glance up into unfathomable blue eyes. “I don’t share, either.” I place my index finger on his pec before sliding it across his nipple.

With only our fingertips on each other, I can almost hear the crackle of sexual energy pass between us.

“Don’t start something. Otherwise, you’ll have to call out sick today.”

I take the turtleneck from his hands and toss it to the side. “I wish I could, but I have a meeting today.”

“Important?”

“Yes. I have to go see Ted.” I don’t think about my words until his eyes darken. Quickly, I add, “I’m working on a project for him and I need to give him the first draft.”

I’ve been working my ass off on the accounting policies and procedures. Writing again, even though it’s a technically a manual of sorts and not an editorial piece, feels good.

I lean up to him and press my lips to his. “You have nothing to worry about.”

He stares at me for a minute. “I trust you. It’s him I don’t trust.”

“I trust you, too, and I can handle Ted.” I sigh. “I wish I could stay.”

“Let me take you to work. Maybe I should pay a visit to Ted and say hello.”

Something in his words almost sounds like a threat. I can’t imagine the two of them together. I don’t think Ted is interested in me anymore, but male pride could have them going at it just to prove a point.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I laugh, trying to play it off as I slip on my jacket.

“Okay, but I want to take you to lunch. I’ll hang out in DC today and meet you later.”

I pray he doesn’t run into Ted as I agree to his lunchtime plans.

On the way to the office, I can’t seem to tear my eyes off of Andy as he manipulates his car through the DC traffic. It reminds me of the way he handled my body last night, and a warm flush spreads over me.

“What has you so quiet over there?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“Thinking about last night and how much I would have regretted if you walked out of my life. I want this to work.” I reach for his hand because I have this need to touch him. Again, I’m surprising myself.

A broad grin stretches out across his face. “That’s probably the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. Other than your lovely sexy sounds last night. And I plan to make sure I hear those on a regular basis.”

“Are you making me a promise?”

“Oh, you can count on it. Do you have an office with a door?”

The sexy cast of his eyes makes me cross my legs. My cheeks warm at the thought of office sex.”

“I don’t have an office here at this location. I’m working out of a cube.”

“We’ll have to get creative then.”

His hand slides up my thigh. I playfully slap it away.

“We won’t be having sex in Ted’s offices,” I laugh.

“Too bad, I’m sure we could teach him a thing or two.”

“You are so bad.”

I’m instantly looking very forward to meeting Andy for lunch today but I also hope to dodge the bullet of the two men meeting.