Текст книги "Epic Sins"
Автор книги: Trudy Stiles
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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
I kiss him back and press my forehead against his.
“It feels good to be home.”
Sam
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 25
“AWESOME!” GARRETT YELLS while Kai splashes in the pool. His swim instructor is helping him learn the survival technique that I learned so many years ago. Kai is expertly floating on his back and kicking his legs when he reaches the edge of the pool. He’s able to grab hold and he’s smiling, truly enjoying this game that we’re playing with him.
I clap and splash my feet in the water. The swim instructor takes him to do another exercise and Garrett wades over to me. He grabs hold of my bare legs and threatens to pull me into the water. He kisses my knee and looks up at me.
“You should come in with us,” he says and kisses my other knee. I remain seated on the pavement and swing my legs on either side of him.
“I’m good right where I am,” I say. And I truly mean it. In every possible way.
The past several months have been hectic but amazing. Kai and I have spent almost every moment together when I’m not working, and Garrett is here as much as he can be. It’s like we picked up right where we left off last year. I belong here, and I should never have left.
He stands up in front of me and water cascades down his chest and abs. He’s stunning perfection, perfectly chiseled and lean. He wraps his wet arms around me and soaks me completely. My face is pressed into his chest and he’s laughing. “Now you have to come in,” he says and swiftly pulls me into the water with him, dunking me under.
I jump out of the water and swat at him. “Don’t even think about it,” he says and pulls me into him for a warm kiss.
Kai is giggling and playing in the shallow end of the pool when Garrett takes my hand and lies on his back in the water. He begins to float, and I do the same. We’re both on our backs, our arms outstretched.
We float quietly and peacefully, listening to Kai’s happy laughter echo throughout the pool house.
“Happy birthday,” Garrett says and squeezes my hand.
“Happy birthday to you too,” I say in return.
Things could not be more perfect.
I’M HOLDING KAI’S HAND as we walk through the lush green grass. Garrett lifts him in the air, and he squeals with delight. He loves when we walk and swing with him between us.
“Up, up and away!” Garrett says, and Kai swings higher.
We slow our pace and find the clearing in the lawn in front of us. I approach the headstone slowly and drop a white carnation in front of the grave. Kai runs over and picks up the flower that I dropped, and he hands it to me. “Here,” he says, and I smile.
“It’s okay, Kai. This flower belongs next to this stone,” I say and guide his hand back down to the ground.
“Flower,” he says and crushes it against his nose, inhaling deeply.
Garrett stands behind us, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He doesn’t say a word, and I don’t expect him to.
I touch the headstone and say softly, “Thank you.”
“Welcome,” Kai says, giggling from the grass. He places the flower back and puts his hand next to mine.
Sadie Moore
April 1, 1991 – August 16, 2014
I turn to see Garrett’s gaze focus on her name. He barely knew her, yet she gave him a tremendous gift of a son. Despite all of her problems, she did the right thing before she died. She found Garrett. Even though she was an addict, she knew what she had to do. She ensured that despite her sins, her son would have a chance at life. Garrett shakes his head and shoves his hands into his pockets. He walks a little closer and leans into my side, kissing me softly on my cheek.
“Let’s go, Kai,” I say and lower my hand. He takes hold, and I help pull him to his feet. We turn and walk back toward the SUV. I realize Garrett isn’t next to me, and I see him touching the headstone with his head bowed, as if in prayer. He mouths a few words, but I’m out of earshot. I hope he’s making his peace with the troubled woman who gave us Kai.
“Are you okay?” I call out to him.
He lifts his head and smiles, the sun shining behind him.
“I’m perfect,” he says and jogs to meet us. He sweeps Kai off the ground and holds him in one arm while he throws the other around me.
“I love you,” he says and kisses me tenderly on the lips.
My cell phone rings and I see Cassie’s name pop up. I answer it, and she immediately starts babbling.
“We’re all here. Where are you?” she asks.
“We’re on our way,” I say and hang up.
“Let’s do this.”
Garrett
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 28
“CONGRATULATIONS!” THE JUDGE EXCLAIMS and taps his gavel on the bench. The crowd in the small room starts to applaud, and I kiss my son on the cheek.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the Armstrongs.” Whistles and cheers fill the room and Kai claps and giggles.
Judge Henson folds the documents and slides them into a folder. “Keep these someplace safe. We’ll have duplicates on file with the registrar if you ever need them.”
He hands the legal documents to Sam that have her name forever tied to Kai. She officially adopted him today, and the courts finalized it with a seal.
And just twenty minutes before this ceremony, the same judge married us.
I pull my wife and the mother of my child against my side and turn to greet our friends and family who have filled the judge’s chambers completely.
Nicole, Kai’s social worker, is in the back of the room wiping tears that are streaming down her face. She’s been involved with us as we got this ball in motion to make the adoption official. Her ties to Sadie and her desire to see Kai live a wonderful life helped fuel our quest to make this legal.
“Are you ready, Mrs. Armstrong?” I say into Sam’s ear. She smiles and nods her head.
“Let’s celebrate,” she says.
CARS LINE THE DRIVEWAY as we pull into our wedding reception, birthday party and adoption celebration. Everyone is here, and we enter the foyer to loud cheers and hugs. My mother takes Kai from my arms and kisses him all over his face. Bill pats me on the back and pulls me into him for a huge hug. He does the same with Sam, and we make our way through the crowd that’s gathered.
The day is a whirlwind of fun and music. In true form, by the end of the night, we all have an instrument in our hands, and Epic Fail performs an acoustic set in our backyard. Alex and Heath take turns singing some of our biggest hits, and the crowd loves it.
Sam is glowing today and floats throughout the crowd. She and Tabby spend a good amount of time chatting over the kids. Noah shows Kai how to do a somersault, and they’re both tumbling as their mother’s watch.
Sam’s friends, Cassie, Becky and Marcie, are huddled outside watching the guys do shots. I can tell that at least one of them has it bad for Heath. And he knows it too.
My parents are huddled with Peggy as they toast their white wine glasses. Peggy and my mom have really hit it off working together to plan today’s festivities.
Presents are piled by the fireplace in the den, and Kai begins to bang on the boxes. In lieu of wedding or birthday gifts, we asked that people shower Kai with love. We’ll celebrate this day every year as not only our wedding anniversary but as Kai’s Adoption Day. He’s officially spoiled beyond belief. He starts pounding on the youth drum set that Dax gave him and everyone covers their ears.
Sam catches my gaze from across the room and smiles. A smile that grabs my chest every single time. She’s perfect in every way, and I vow to never let her go again.
THE CROWD IS GONE, and Kai is sound asleep in his room. He fell asleep in a pile of wrapping paper in the den, and Sam just came down the stairs after putting him to bed.
She walks over to me and kisses my neck. “Happy birthday, Mr. Armstrong.”
“Happy birthday, Mrs. Armstrong.” I turn her to face me and kiss her tenderly. We breathe each other’s breaths and melt into each other’s arms.
We release each other and look into the backyard. It’s filled with tables and chairs, and a large tent is still standing in the corner of the yard. “What a whirlwind of a day, huh?” I ask her, and she nods.
“It was a wonderful day. One that I’ll never forget.” She smiles and fixes her gaze on the pool house.
The soft glow of lights from the bottom of the pool fills the entire pool house with dim lights. Steam rises from the water, and it looks magical. Four distinct flower arrangements float in the pool and cast large shadows in the water.
“What are those for?” I ask Sam, and she wipes a tear from her cheek.
“A bit of a memorial,” she says softly, and I understand fully.
The arrangements that float represent the members of our family that couldn’t be here today.
Two for her parents.
One for Sadie.
And one for my father.
The flowers all float together, crossing paths and riding the small ripples they each create. Together.
“I’ve forgiven him, Garrett,” she whispers as tears fall down her cheeks. “I’ve forgiven them,” she corrects herself. “Sadie didn’t intend to cause harm to her son. She just didn’t know any better. And I know that if your father could have made a different choice, he would have. I forgive them,” she says again and wipes her tears away. “It’s time that you did too.”
I reach out and wipe her tears. She leans into my hand as I sweep the curls from her face. I kiss the tip of her nose and rest my forehead against hers.
“I already have—I forgave them the day I realized we’d be together forever.”
The End
Standalone
Winter/Spring – 2016
If you or someone you know is pregnant and has a drug or alcohol problem, please seek help.
For more information about how to help yourself or a loved one, please visit one of these important websites or call the toll-free hotlines.
The Watershed Addiction Treatment Programs
www.thewatershed.com
1-855-771-3970
New Directions for Women
www.newdirectionsforwomen.org
800-939-6636
National Drug Help Hotline
800-662-4357
National Alcohol and Drug Dependence Hopeline
800-622-2255
Information on Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome:
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007313.htm
*may contain spoilers
Okay, so I know way too much about Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS). Way too much. This book came from a place that I was afraid to write about for so long. A time, after we adopted our son, that I wanted to forget. But also a time that I needed to remember for the rest of my life. A time that was painful while experiencing it but is now a distant memory.
Listening to your child cry and scream in pain is a heart-wrenching and gut-ripping feeling. Something my husband and I felt for exactly nine months. Nine long months. Although doctors and textbooks and Google all tell you that NAS can last anywhere from one week to six months after birth, our experience lasted a bit longer than that. Nine months. You hear your child’s painful pleas for help through these cries as they can’t tell you exactly what hurts, but you just know that it’s everything. You rarely sleep, and when you do, you’re holding your child tight, close to your chest so he can feel you and derive some sort of comfort from that. To feel protected. Safe. You’re terrified that your child won’t thrive because eating rips apart his insides. You worry that his condition will only get worse and he’ll be in pain for his entire life. You worry that all of your efforts in helping him heal will take away from your other child, a baby girl, adopted just nine months before. My husband and I know very well what Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome is because we lived through it. We conquered it. We won. Our healthy son is eight years old now and is known for his huge heart and infectious smile. He’s perfect, and looking back, I can say whole-heartedly that I would trade places with him in a second so he would never experience that kind of pain ever again.
I realize that we are so incredibly blessed because some babies aren’t as lucky as our little guy. Some don’t get better. Some live with debilitating illness and developmental delays. It can remain so bad for so many of these children exposed to drugs and alcohol. Our dude is lucky, and for that we are forever grateful. Our hearts are with so many other babies and children out there who struggle with the prolonged effects of NAS.
I must acknowledge and thank the adoption agency that matched us with our son’s birth family. He completed our Forever Family. He saved our family as much as we saved him. He belongs with us and we are eternally grateful.
My husband’s support during those difficult months gave me the strength to be what our son needed. It was a dark time in my brain, and I cried most days along with our son. My pain was emotional while his was physical. My husband was my rock and will always be. Thanking him is easy and his son loves him so much he tells him every single day. “Dada, I love you.” Hearing that never gets old. I’m also thankful that our daughter was too young to remember those hard times. She and her brother are the best of friends and our Irish Twins. The most precious gifts we have ever received.
I wouldn’t have been able to write this book without my family’s support. My Forever Family and my book-world family.
Amanda Maxlyn: Two years ago, we met on Facebook and became fast friends. We published our first books close together, and the support you have given me has been unwavering. It’s amazing to know that in this business I can place my full trust in you. Thank you for reading this book and providing your invaluable feedback. You know the personal struggles that I went through that inspired me to write about these special characters. You’re amazing and I love you with all of my heart.
Dina Littner: Your honesty and nutty ideas drive me so crazy, but I love you for it HUGE. You know how to push my buttons and to make me think about how to present a scene or scenario. All in a good way. You make me a better writer and storyteller. Shhh—don’t tell anyone. I love you huge and I’m honored to have you as friend and critique partner.
My BETA girls: As my books have evolved, so has my beta process. Thank you all for being there with me through it all. I will always value your opinions and feedback above all others. You know me best and hold me to the highest of standards.
Murphy Rae: You’re a saint and a miracle worker. When I came to you to help refine the Forever Family Series, you jumped in head-first. You told me things that I didn’t want to hear about my first book and then you helped make it better. You helped me distinguish between voices and you breathed life into pivotal characters in these books. I’m so proud of the words that I’ve bled onto these pages, and your feedback and expertise have given me confidence to continue with this hobby of mine. Stay true and honest and awesome. Thank you for helping me grow as a writer.
Elaine Hudson York: I'm truly in love with the incredible interior design for Epic Sins. It literally took my breath away when I saw it. You have been a pleasure to work with and your professionalism is top notch. Thank you so much and I look forward to working with you on the rest of this series and beyond!
Sarah Hansen: Thank you for putting up with me. I know I was a pain in the ass and kept changing my mind about the look that I wanted for this book and the series. I bugged you a lot and you probably blocked my messages for a while. But what you did with this cover! What you created is just amazing. You crafted the perfect brand for the Epic Fail series, and your artistic renditions inspired me to finally finish the first book and get my butt in gear. I’m humbled and honored to call myself a client of yours. You are truly a master and produce exceptional covers. I’m thrilled to brag about you and the art that you created for me. Thank you again and I hope you take my requests in the future.
Becca Manuel: Once again, your vision of my book is stunning. The trailer you created perfectly captures the tone and feelings of Epic Sins. You work magic with your art and I’m so lucky that you connect with my stories enough to produce pure perfection. Thank you.
Julie Deaton: Thank you for your fantastic proofreading services. You are a wonderful person and a true cheerleader for me and my work. Your finishing touches on my manuscript made it perfect.
Forever Family Facebook group: Thank you for letting me pop in and share my stories with all of you. You all know how much I enjoy our interaction, and this place has been my haven to share some of the struggles I’ve gone through as well. Thank you for being my safe place and for always supporting me.
Bloggers: I can’t narrow it down and just talk about a handful of you because you ALL are amazing. Every time I release a book or run a promotion, it astounds me how supportive you all are. It truly brings a tear to my eyes every time I see one of you supporting me in the very best way—you tell your readers and supporters to buy my books. I love you all and I hope you continue to support me as I share more stories.
Authors: My peers are some of my best friends. It’s so comforting to know that I have so many of you ready to give all of yourselves to help promote me and support me. I love all of you so much!
Readers: I humbly bow down to you and thank you for each and every time you’ve downloaded my books and recommended them to a friend. I can’t continue to write these stories without you. Thank you.
Trudy Stiles is a New Adult author, mom to two beautiful children, and married to the love of her life. She’s the author of the bestselling Forever Family series including “Dear Emily,” “Dear Tabitha,” and now “Dear Juliet.” She plans to write many more stories about some of the characters you’ve already met, and maybe a few new ones. Epic Sins is the first of three, standalone, Epic Fail series books.
Trudy is a music junkie and you’ll know that she’s writing when you see her plugged into her laptop with her earbuds in. Her playlist is unique and is a must for her writing sprints.
When she’s not writing, she’s carting her children to their various activities while avoiding any kind of laundry or housework. She also loves to run along the boardwalk of the beautiful New Jersey shore.
She celebrates Wine Wednesday almost every day.
Email:[email protected]
Facebook: www.facebook.com/authortrudystiles
Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/trudy_stiles
Twitter: @trudystiles
