Текст книги "Love Unscripted"

Автор книги: Tina Reber

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Текущая страница: 40 (всего у книги 40 страниц)

I ever in character for that!”

I couldn’t help but feel as though I was the one to blame for his breakup motivation. Guilt washed over me again.

“I’m so sorry for what I did to you… for doubting you,” I said with much regret. “I hope you are able to forgive me.”

His hand cupped my head to his chest. “No, Taryn. I did this. I put the doubt into your mind. Don’t you dare feel bad.”

“But I do. I ruined everything,” I muttered. “All your plans...”

“Don’t. I should have told you about her. I should have done more to put your mind at ease, but I didn’t,” he admitted. “Instead, I was angry with

you for questioning my faithfulness. I realize that now. I’m just glad that I realized it before it was too late.”

He squeezed me in his arms. “I need you to forgive me.”

I wrapped my arms around him tighter, pulling him closer, while his warmth and presence stitched my soul back together.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” I whispered. “Only lessons learned.”

Ryan softly kissed the top of my head.

My mind drifted as he held me. I thought about how I would handle the first moment I ever came face to face with Lauren Delaney. Our paths

would cross eventually, now that Ryan and I were officially engaged. There would be a Thousand Miles movie premier to attend in my future. My

visions of that initial meeting were far from ladylike.

“Did Lauren ever confess?” I asked, recalling Kyle’s eleventh hour admission.

“She denied being involved… at first.” Ryan scratched his brow. He seemed reluctant to continue.

“It’s okay, just tell me.”

“She cried – hard. She said she should have never left me go,” he scoffed, “but my intensity when we were dating scared her or some shit like

that. Well, that was her excuse for cheating on me.”

He pursed his lips with disgust. “After I told her that there was no way in hell I’d ever get back with her, she admitted that she was trying to keep

me from making a huge mistake. She thought I was being impulsive and shortsighted with wanting to propose to you.”

I adjusted my cheek on his arm, mulling over his last sentence. I also pictured Lauren pleading and begging with him to take her back.

“And then Taryn fell silent,” he muttered. Ryan rolled over onto his side and stared at my face.

I swallowed hard before speaking, burying my pained eyes in my pillow. “I can almost pinpoint the exact time in my memory when that

conversation happened. It was when you told me you needed time to think.”

Ryan pulled my chin up.

“I’m not going to deny that I didn’t think about what she said. Not the part about her being a dirty, little tramp and wanting me back,” he

corrected. “The other part.”

“And?” I asked hesitantly.

He was silent for a few seconds. “Look in my eyes,” he instructed softly.

His request was confusing to me at first, because I was expecting him to say more after that. Instead, we lay still, gazing at each other for a very

long minute. And then I saw it… it was all suddenly very clear to me. I saw our life together, our future, in brief snippets of time. I could not imagine

being happy without him. I rested my hand on his cheek, guiding his lips to mine. When Ryan kissed me, life had meaning again.

“This last week, when everything turned to shit, that was a new low for me,” he admitted. “The lowest I’ve ever been.”

I laughed lightly. “I think I found a new level of low, ten floors down below the pit of despair.”

Ryan chuckled in agreement. “So what do you think all that misery means?”

I thought about it for a moment. “Well, for me… I think it means that I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you.”

He softly kissed my lips. “So if we both feel the same way, and we’re absolutely miserable without each other, then there can’t be anything

impulsive or short-sighted about it, can there?”

I smiled and shook my head. “No, I guess not.”

The visions of a blissful future with this man I so desperately loved enveloped me in warmth. He was here in this room, in this bed, holding me

once again!

How profoundly different this moment was from yesterday! The train that had been derailed, causing the unfortunate death of thousands of bits

of my soul, was miraculously put back to right on the tracks again and all the dead suddenly got better.

Ironically, it only took several seconds after that for the remnants of my memory, recalling when my heart was shattered underneath the train, to

creep back into my throat. I stared at the ceiling to collect my thoughts.

“I know what our problem is. We’ve both been cheated on, dumped, and wronged so many times that our pasts are keeping us from moving

forward.”

Ryan slipped out a sliver of a laugh.

I gazed back into his eyes. “You thought that I was with Kyle – that there was something going on behind your back. And I thought you were going

to leave me for someone like Lauren, who wasn’t all banged up and wrecked. We lost faith in each other.”

“I know. And I know these rings don’t erase what happened between us.” He adjusted the oval garnet on my right hand. “But they aren’t just

jewelry to me either. Inside each of them is a message – a message of my commitment to you. I want you to be my wife, my partner, and my only

lover, Taryn... forever. My eyes will never wander from you.”

“Neither will mine.”

“Then maybe we can help each other to trust more. Honey, neither one of us is a cheater. I’ve never done that to anyone I’ve ever dated – I’m

guessing that you’ve never cheated on your past boyfriends either. We both know how much it hurts to be betrayed like that. So maybe we just have

to always remember that it’s not in either of our personalities to be unfaithful. And I can tell ya that once we both say ‘I do,’ divorce is not an option -

ever. We work through the crap, okay?”

I thought about why I’d been living in the pit of despair and surviving through years of broken promises.

“I know, but infidelity is still a deal-breaker for me,” I muttered. “You have to promise me that if I’m not… if you ever have that need, desire for

something that our relationship is missing… if some actress…”

“You’ll be the first to know – way before it ever comes to that. I promise.” His fingers drifted down my cheek. “And the same goes for you too!

We talk about it – we fix it, we don’t let it break us apart,” he emphasized. “Regardless of how many completely screwed up, psychotic people try to

meddle in our relationship!”

“This time, I’m killing anyone who tries,” I kidded. “Speaking of which…”

“What?” he softly urged.

“I want you to be completely honest with me and tell me if you are going to be working with girls you have intimate knowledge of. I know it’s

uncomfortable and you’re going to be reluctant to hurt my feelings, but it will keep me from freaking out if I know all of the ugly details beforehand. I

don’t want to hear about it from other sources or see it on the magazine covers in the grocery store. Not knowing that kind of stuff and then seeing it

on TV does not help me trust you.” I figured that would help put my mind at ease.

“Deal. That list of actresses is very small, by the way,” he added. “Okay, while we’re being open… no more Kyle. I don’t want him in the bar or

anywhere near you, calling you, bringing you gifts or soup – ever again. And the same goes for all the other guys who come sniffing around my

future wife.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t want to ever see Kyle again,” I stated, recalling the moment of terror in the pit of my stomach when he had me crammed in

the door jam. “I told him I’d get a restraining order if he ever came around again.”

Ryan was dead serious when he put his foot down on the “Kyle and other guys” subject. There was no humor in his tone.

“You know, this double-standard of yours isn’t very healthy either,” I muttered.

“What double-standard? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on! You have to admit you are a lot more jealous than I am. I’m not allowed to accept soup from some guy but you get to kiss hot

actresses? And then you got pissed at me when I questioned all the ‘alone time’ you were spending with your ex-girlfriend? You would have been

completely unbearable if Kyle and I had a romantic past. Hell, you probably would have had a barbed wire fence and extra guard dogs installed

around me if that was the case!”

Ryan huffed loudly.

“Considering what comes along with the Ryan Christensen territory, I’d say I’ve been maintaining my understanding and jealousy fairly well.”

“Yeah, you have,” he agreed. “Sorry, I can’t help it. It’s just… I know how men think. Food, sex, sleep – not necessarily in that order either. I was

onto Kyle the first minute I saw him. I knew the game he was playing.”

“Ha! And you don’t think women play the same games?” I changed my voice to imitate Lauren and batted my eyes at him. “It’s all right, Ryan. I’m

happily involved with Lucas. You can talk to me. Here’s a shoulder to lean your head on – right next to my boobs. She probably checked out your

crotch every time you had to kiss her just to see if she made your pants fit tighter!”

Ryan laughed at me.

“You laugh! I’m serious!”

He rolled over, playfully grabbing my rear. “My crotch only bulges for you, dear.”

“Yeah, right,” I teased.

We spent a good portion of Sunday morning in bed, arms and legs entwined, enjoying the solitude and peace that came from being together.

Ryan looked at my alarm clock. “Come on… time to get out of bed. We have to get showered and dressed,” he said, tossing his portion of the

covers over my head.

“Why?” I asked, studying his face long enough to know he knew something I didn’t.

Playfully he grabbed my ankle, pulling me across the bed.

“We don’t want to be late for our party,” he chuckled, reaching for my hand. He helped me up onto my feet.

“What party? What are you talking about?”

“You really had no clue, did you?” he said, grinning in astonishment.

My vision was distorted when my eyes scrunched together, still not having a clue as to what he was talking about.

“That I was going to propose to you?” He tilted his head, smiling as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

I mashed my lips together and shook my head, slightly embarrassed. “I thought your parents came here to move you out of the apartment.”

“I think I’m going to buy Marie and Tammy new cars.” Ryan laughed lightly to himself.

An hour and a half later, we drove up to Marie and Gary’s house to attend our private engagement party. Ryan’s parents were already there,

waiting for us.

I still could not believe that the last two days had really happened. Ryan and I were still madly in love, his symbol of his commitment clad in

diamonds around my finger, and all of my heartache was almost completely forgotten.

“I guess I should call Pete, find out what time they are coming for poker,” I said out loud.

Ryan twisted the cap back onto the bottle of soda and set it back in the refrigerator. “We’re not playing poker tonight,” he informed. “It’s just you

and me tonight. We’re going out.”

“Out?” I was shocked. We had rarely ever gone “out” before.

“Yep. I’m taking you out on a date… a proper date,” he corrected. “Go get dressed.”

He pulled his jeans up onto his hips and grabbed a clean shirt off of a hanger in the closet.

“So where are we going?” I asked.

“I have no idea. Out to dinner, bowling… it’s your choice. We’re going to try and have a normal date, even if I have to wear a disguise. I’m taking

you out.”

We drove to one of my favorite local restaurants. I looked at my watch, noting the time, so we wouldn’t be late for our next stop.

Ryan tapped me in the foot under the table and snickered to himself when I flinched. We were sitting in a booth all the way in the back corner of

the restaurant, well out of the way of most eyes.

“So, my beautiful fiancée,” he teased, “where to next?”

I took a sip of soda to wash down my last bite of pizza, tapping my foot in rhythm against his.

“Movies,” I answered casually. “George Clooney’s latest flick is playing at the Galaxy Theatre.”

Ryan tried to look unaffected, but I could tell he was freaking out thinking about being around crowds and the public. He even wrapped his scarf

an extra loop around his neck to cover half of his face when we got up to leave.

He tugged my hand as we walked in opposite directions. “Um, Honey… car is this way?”

I stopped and held my ground, pulling him towards me. “Theater is only three blocks down the street. See the marquee lights? It will be okay.

Let’s walk.”

We held hands as we casually strolled down the empty sidewalk in the dark. No one noticed us; no one even knew we existed. It was wonderful.

I squeezed his hand tightly in mine, completely bewildered that he was finally here with me. My heart that was once so devastated with thoughts

of losing him was now being stitched back together, like it was never shattered in the first place. His love for me was just the glue I needed,

restoring me back to whole.

I knew I could never make the same mistakes again. My insecurities needed to be replaced with trust and assuredness. I would never doubt his

love for me or his intentions to have a long life together. Still, I was afraid that if I blinked too many times that I would wake up from this wonderful

dream of togetherness.

“That was good pizza,” Ryan said, trying to stifle a burp, but failing at it. His body was making all sorts of noises.

“If your fans only knew!” I teased, giving him a nudge with my hip. “It would definitely blow your whole mysterious, sexy image thing! That was

weak, by the way. I’m hardly impressed. I give that one a 2.7.”

“See, this is why I love you. You don’t judge my foulness, you grade it!” He wrapped his arm over my shoulder, putting me in another teasing

headlock. I reached up his jacket, playfully retaliating by tickling him in the ribs.

Ryan nodded his chin towards the theater after he twined my fingers back into his. “I bet you a million bucks that George Clooney has his vile

moments too,” he joked.

“There’s no way I’m taking that bet! I’m smart enough to know that underneath the movie star facades and special effects makeup are nothing

more than beer-drinking, burping, fartypants men.”

“Yep,” he and his body agreed. “But put us in an Armani tux and we look good!”

The Galaxy Theatre was one of our town’s historic landmarks, having been in existence since the 1930’s. It had the old style ticket booth and

fancy marquee lights illuminating the title of the feature movie. By the time we reached the theater, no one was in line.

We purchased a bucket of popcorn and a soda at the tiny concession stand and then made our way into the dimly lit theater.

“This place is cool!” Ryan whispered, loosening his scarf just a bit. We had the back row all to ourselves. I noticed him glancing around at the

interior – the art-deco wallpaper, thick red velvet drapes bordering the stage, ornate chandeliers and sconces on the walls – it was very reminiscent

of an era when films shaped our society.

Ryan stuck his hand in the bucket of popcorn, laughing at the silliness of the old Tom and Jerry cartoon that played on the screen. He was able

to enjoy an entire night out without any interference from the paparazzi or enamored fans.

“You know, when I take you to the Reparation premier in a few days your theater experience is going to be much different from this,” he

whispered privately.

“I know,” I said as visions of thousands of screaming fans passed through my thoughts. “And I’m ready for it.”

“It will be your warm-up for the insanity yet to come in July,” he continued, a hint of nervous apprehension and regret accompanied his words. I

instantly knew he was referring to the Seaside premier, which would be a three-week multi-country tour.

I rested my head on his shoulder to enjoy the movie, but even more so, this time we finally had together. Ryan softly kissed my forehead and

whispered “I love you.” It was precious moments like these that made life worth living.

Unfortunately with all blissfully sweet moments, there must always be a few not so good ones mixed in between. I suppose it’s what keeps the

balance.

The very next day, I stood there in our bedroom, helplessly watching as he packed another suitcase. His basic needs were fulfilled… clean

socks and underwear shoved around a stack of clean shirts and jeans, another script and some gum packed in his carry-on bag next to his laptop.

His other needs, those that could only be met by his lover, were hopefully fulfilled to the best of my abilities as well.

“You have my schedule in your calendar?” Ryan asked as he hauled his suitcase down the steps.

“Yes,” I answered, confirming for the third time that my new phone was synched with his.

“I checked e-mail – all the flight itineraries are there. And there will be a car waiting for you when you land, Mrs. Bailey.” Ryan smirked. “Marla’s

assistant is making the arrangements for your…”

“Honey, I know,” I said softly, slipping my fingers into his front pockets to hold onto him for a minute longer. “Don’t worry! I already talked to Trish.

Everything will be fine. I promise to look smashing for each of the premiers!” I beamed.

“Oh, don’t forget your passport,” he reminded.

“I won’t.”

“My parents and Nick and Janelle land at LAX an hour after you do so you won’t be alone for long. Oh, wait. What am I thinking? You won’t be

alone – the gang will be with you, which I’m glad because I have almost three entire days of press junkets and appearances. Just remember to keep

the hotel a secret, and…”

“Ryan…”

“What?” he whined.

“Honey, you’re stressing out. You need to relax and stop worrying. I’ll see you in L.A. tomorrow, I promise.”

He left out a long sigh.

My eyes departed his face and glanced to the door when I heard a car horn honk.

“I love you,” I murmured on his lips as he kissed me goodbye.

“I love you more!” he snickered, pulling me in tighter.

“Go, be a movie star,” I teased him. “I’ll be on the next plane right behind you.”

Ryan held my hands; his thumbs rolled over both of my rings, twisting them on my fingers. It was his subtle way of reminding me of their

engraved messages.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said sadly.

He kissed me one more time before slipping from my hands and out to the car that waited.

Love Unscripted

Copyright © 2010 by Tina Reber

www.tinareber.com

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4