Текст книги "A Song for Us"

Автор книги: Teresa Mummert

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Chapter Eight

SARAH

I CLOSED THE DOOR to the hotel room quietly and leaned back against it. My heart sank into my stomach as I stared at Derek, sprawled on the bed. All I could think about all night was E. Why did he have to complicate our friendship? It had felt so good to start to reconnect with him, to move past the awkward radio silence that had defined the last few weeks between us, but then he had to go and do something that he knew would piss me off, not to mention Derek.

My mind was racing; I was pissed and confused.

And why did it suddenly piss me off that he was going to meet up with Donna? I banged my head against the door as if I were trying to knock some clarity into my mind, and the sound seemed to bring Derek back to life.

“What’s up?” Derek groaned as he stretched across the bed.

“Nothing. I just don’t feel well. I think I drank too much last night.”

He laughed and patted a spot next to him on the bed. I pushed to my feet and slowly made my way over to him. His one eye was completely swollen shut, his cheekbone bruised and split open.

I sat down next to him and ran my fingertips over his cheek. “They got you good.”

He rolled over and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Yeah, but I won.” He let out a low laugh and coughed.

“Let me get you some water.” I went to stand but Derek’s grip tightened around my waist, holding me next to him.

“I’m fine. I just need some more sleep. Have you seen any of the guys?”

My heart began to race as I thought of what to say. Derek had been right about E, and telling him that would only cause a fight. “Not since last night. E went back in the club to look for you for me, but the cops came before he could find you.”

Derek smiled and nodded his head. “I’ll have to thank him later.”

I smiled down at him, glad that maybe he and E might finally be able to put some of their differences behind them and be friends.

“Come here.” He pulled me down so I was lying with my back to him as he snuggled against me. “Wake me up in an hour.” He yawned and laid his head against my back. I tried to relax against him, but I felt as if everything had changed in just a few short hours. It was killing me inside. Derek was finally trying. He was coming around and doing the right thing, but all I could think about was E. I closed my eyes as a tear slid onto the sheet below and prayed that sleep would take away my guilt, even if just for an hour.

WHEN I FINALLY woke, I didn’t feel any better. I wished I had someone I could talk to, but E was definitely not a good choice and Cass was still off celebrating her marriage. I felt so alone, even with my boyfriend’s arms locked around my body. I glanced at the alarm clock next to the bed. It was almost dinnertime and I had slept a lot longer than I intended. I pulled Derek’s arm off me and slowly slid out of bed to use the bathroom. I knew I should wake him, but I needed a few more minutes to myself.

I ran a hot bath and slid into the tub, my hair piled on top of my head with a clip. I wanted to disappear underneath the bubbles so I didn’t have to face the world again. I closed my eyes, getting lost in the warmth.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Derek’s voice startled me.

I jumped, splashing water over the edge of the tub. I tried not to let the fear from memories of my past show on my face. “You looked so peaceful. I figured you could use a little more sleep.”

He lifted the lid to the toilet and peed.

I gave him a look of disgust as I pushed myself up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around myself. The bubbles still clung to my skin, but I needed to get out of there. The room was closing in on me. Derek zipped up his pants and grabbed my arm as I tried to walk by him and out the door. His nose skimmed along my jawline up to my ear.

“I know how you could make me feel better.” His teeth nipped gently on my earlobe, and his hand trailed down my arm and gripped the towel in his hand, pulling it from my body and letting it fall to the floor. “It killed me not being here with you last night.”

He turned toward me, lacing his hands behind my neck and pulling my mouth to his, reminding me of what had drawn us together in the first place—that magnetic pull that was impossible to deny. Those strong arms that had always made me feel so protected.

Derek’s kisses were hungry and he grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head and dropping it on the towel. My eyes danced over his tattooed chest before he pulled me back against him, needing to feel his skin on mine. His palm ran roughly over my breast as his lips moved over my jaw and down my throat.

The memories of kissing E flooded me, and my head began to swim with regret as I pushed against his chest to get away from his touch. I wasn’t feeling guilty for keeping it a secret. I felt guilty because I’d liked it.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing. I just want to take it slow.” I pressed my lips against his, desperate to ignite the fire that had nearly flickered out. Derek backed me up against the bathroom wall, his body slamming hard against mine as he undid his pants and shoved them down his hips. Slow wasn’t an option and I squeezed my eyes closed, hoping he couldn’t feel how fast my heart was racing. I begged my brain to focus on the now.

The opening notes to “Free Bird” began to play in my mind, and I focused on the song as I let my mind detach from my body. I’d never enjoyed sex, but how do you explain that to your boyfriend? How do you even begin to tell the rock god you’re dating that you don’t feel like making love?

The lyrics grew louder in my subconscious as I let my imagination wander. Unfortunately, it went to the one thought I wished I could forget: kissing E.

Chapter Nine

ERIC

I COULDN’T GET MY mind off Sarah as I spun a beer bottle in my hand.

“Shit, you’ve got it fucking bad.” Chris laughed and took a drink from his bottle as he motioned for the bartender to bring another round.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The fuck you don’t, man. You nearly killed Derek last night.”

“I was being a good friend. You would have done the same.”

“Maybe. But I would have told her what he did. Why wouldn’t you dime him out? She would have ran right into your arms.”

“Because I want her to want me, not settle for me.”

“That’s fucking deep. You’re starting to sound like Tuck.”

“That’s what scares me.”

The bartender brought our drinks and I picked mine up. Nodding to Chris, I slowly nursed it. “She won’t leave him. She thinks he’s changed.” I stared ahead at the half-empty bottles of beer.

“She say that?”

I nodded, hating how my chest tightened when I thought of her.

“What does Donna think about all this?”

“She knows we are just friends. We’re just having some fun.”

“Like when you nearly fucked her on the dance floor last night? You’re treading in dangerous territory, man. Women don’t ever just want to be friends with benefits. They catch feelings faster than my brother gets STDs.”

I chuckled and shook my head as Chris pulled his phone from his pocket and typed out a message.

“What’s up?”

“Letting Terry know where we’re at.”

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and sent a text to Donna so she could come out with Terry and not have to walk alone. After we’d had a late lunch at the diner, she went back to her room to get some work done and set up dates and locations for our next tour.

Chris leaned over my shoulder to read my message.

“Get the fuck out of here, man.” I used my elbow to block him from reading over my shoulder.

“I can’t wait to watch this train wreck.”

TERRY SHOWED UP at the bar an hour later with Donna, who was wearing tight jeans and a black tank top that read DAMAGED across her chest. Unfortunately, he also brought Sarah and Derek. I downed the rest of my beer and ordered another as I prepared for a fight. I wasn’t sure Derek was stupid enough to say who fucked up his face just to keep me from Sarah, but he had been known to make worse decisions.

The bar was smaller than the club we hit last night, but just as crowded. Donna sat on my knee and I looped my arm loosely around her waist as I absentmindedly pulled at a loose thread on the thigh of her jeans. I owed her big-time for playing the perfect girlfriend role, although I’m sure she was enjoying being included in the group. It had to be miserable always pushing everyone away.

Derek sat on the other side of Chris, and Sarah stood between his legs with her back resting against his chest. Her dark gray skirt only came down midthigh, and it was hard not to stare at her long legs.

I swallowed down my feelings so I could prove to her that we could just be friends. I wasn’t going to risk losing her over some stupid fucking crush.

“What the fuck happened to your face?” Chris called over to Derek, knowing damn well I was what happened.

“Fight was intense last night.” Derek looked around Chris to me. “I heard you came to find me. Good looking out, man.”

“It’s no big deal. I would do it again,” I smirked, and Terry laughed from behind me.

“Looks like it hurts,” Terry called out.

Derek shook his head with a laugh before his eyes locked on mine. “Sarah kissed it and made it better.” He pressed his lips against her cheek, and my skin felt as if it were on fire.

My eyes went to Sarah’s but she was looking down at the ground now and her cheeks were reddening as they had last night after I had kissed her.

Donna pulled at my arm that I had tightened around her waist to get me to relax so she could breathe. She leaned back, placing her lips next to my ear.

“If you snap me in half, I am going to demand a raise,” she whispered, and I laughed, turning to make a face at her, our lips nearly touching.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered back as I tried not to let Derek get to me.

“If he gets you to fight him in front of her, he wins, and I’m stuck trying to get you out of jail.”

“He already won. I won’t go after someone who doesn’t want me.”

Donna smiled sadly and nodded as she took my drink from my hand and took a sip. “Does this mean I need to find my own bar-stool?”

I gave her a small squeeze, holding her in place. “I’d be offended if you did. How much rejection can one man’s ego take?”

Inside, every piece of me felt fractured, but I smiled for the sake of saving my friendship. If Sarah needed to know I wasn’t going to pursue her, I would show her, even if it killed me inside to do it.

I placed a soft kiss on Donna’s cheek and she pressed into my lips. My eyes closed as I thought of being so close to Sarah in my hotel room. I could still smell her; feel the heat from her body. Even though she’d pushed me away, I still felt that a part of her had wanted to pull me closer . . . or had I just imagined it?

“I need to get some strange.” Chris began scanning the joint for women. “All this lovey-dovey shit is making me horny.”

Donna reached out and smacked him on the arm as he laughed at her. I kept a smile on my face, trying to mask the emptiness I felt inside. Maybe everyone was right. What was the harm in letting someone else in and taking my mind off Sarah? At least then she wouldn’t view me as a threat to her relationship, and I could still be near her. Maybe then we could just go back to being friends . . . and that would just have to be enough.

I dropped my hand to Donna’s thigh and rubbed over her jeans as I listened to the twins talk about new bands. Derek grew louder and more animated as he drank and argued over what the best band of all time was.

I felt my eyes drift to Sarah, who was deep in her own thoughts. Her dark hair was wild and messy around her face. She looked as if she’d just stepped off the beach or . . . I shook the thought of what she had been doing with Derek from my mind. Her eyes met mine as if she sensed I was thinking about her.

Terry’s hand clapped down on my shoulder. He had said something and I didn’t hear it.

“What?” I called out, trying to crane my neck to see him.

“Let’s play some pool.”

I nodded as Donna slid off my lap and I stood up behind her, my hands on her small waist. She had no idea how much easier she made all of this on me. Her friendship was the only thing keeping me off a ledge tonight. She glanced over her shoulder at me, smiling as her hand fell on mine, and she laced our fingers together, giving my hand a squeeze.

“You ready to get your ass kicked?” I asked next to her ear so only she could hear.

“As long as I don’t end up looking like Derek when you’re done with me,” she joked sarcastically as we made our way to the tables.

“He got off easy.” I sighed as I ran my free hand through my messy hair.

“That’s what she said,” Chris said quietly as he walked by.

Chapter Ten

SARAH

I HAD THE OVERWHELMING urge to write. My fingers burned to put ink to paper to try to sort out everything that was on my mind.

I sat down at a small table along the wall, and Donna took the seat on the other side as we watched the guys prepare for their game of pool.

“You all right?” she asked as I drummed my fingers on the table.

“Just thinking of some lyrics.” I smiled politely at her as my eyes went back to the guys. E and Terry were on one team against Derek and Chris. They were already taking jabs at each other as Chris broke.

“I wish I could put words down on a paper and have it come out as a beautiful song.”

“Some of the most beautiful songs come from pain,” I said sullenly as my eyes danced over E, who was bent over the table and lining up his shot.

“You and E are close, huh?”

Her words caught me off guard, and I quickly looked down at the chipping black paint on my nails. “We’re just friends.” I regretted using the word just, but Donna ignored it.

She nodded and took a sip from her beer as her eyes followed E around the pool table. “I’m worried about him.”

“Why? What did he say?” My voice rose an octave.

“You know E.” Her eyes fell to mine and she smiled sadly. “He doesn’t say much. But when he gets down, it is nearly impossible to pull him out of it. He doesn’t open up.”

E walked over, pool stick in hand, and grabbed Donna’s beer from the table, winking at her as he picked it up and put it to his lips.

“You winning?” she asked,

He smiled with a quick nod. He glanced at me but quickly looked back to Donna and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m doing all right.”

She smiled and reached out to run the pad of her thumb over the small cut on Eric’s bottom lip. “That looks like it hurts.”

“You should see the other guy.” He winked as he tucked her hair behind her ear and turned around to watch the game.

I picked at the chipping paint from my pinkie nail and watched the flake flutter to the dirty wooden floor as I hummed to myself.

“I’ll be right back,” E called to Donna and disappeared into the main bar area.

A few minutes later he returned with a pen and a piece of paper from an order pad. He set them down next to me and his lips curved up slightly.

I stopped humming, realizing that he had heard me.

“Write it down,” he said quietly, and turned back to the pool game. My heart stuttered at how well he knew me.

I flipped the paper over in my hand before jotting down a few lines.

I drove all night trying to escape,

the truth of you I cannot take,

On E and broken-down,

why is that bad luck follows when you come around?

“Get me a beer?” My eyes shot up to Derek’s and I nodded as I crumbled the paper and tossed it on the table.

I slid off my stool and made my way into the crowded bar. Country music blared from the speakers and I bobbed my head to the beat as I waited for the bartender to notice me. Fingers trailed over my lower back, followed by the unmistakable smell of E’s cologne. My body stiffened but his hand fell away, an easy smile on his face.

He leaned in closer to my ear so I could hear him over the noise. “You all right?” His breath against my neck gave me a chill.

“I’m fine.” I stared ahead at the cash register.

“Nothing’s changed.” His voice was lower, and I knew exactly what he was referring to.

“I know. I promise I’m fine.” Everything seemed to have changed. He nodded and held up his hand to get the bartender’s attention. She made her way over to us, leaning over the wooden top toward E.

“Six buds, please.”

Her eyes drifted lower to where his shirt stretched tight over his chest. “Coming right up.” She turned to grab the beers from the fridge behind her and E laughed.

“What?” I snapped.

“Why do you look so pissed off?”

“I’m not. I was just thinking.” Why the hell was I pissed off? Women looked at E all of the time.

The bartender set the beers in front of us. I tried to grab money from my pocket, but E put his hand on my arm and slowly shook his head no as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket.

“I don’t need you to buy my beer.” I grabbed three of the bottles as he set money on the bar, and he grabbed the other three.

“I know you don’t.”

We made our way through the crowd and I managed not to spill beer all over myself. I gave a bottle to Chris and held one out to Derek. He took it without a glance and drank it half down.

“You could at least say thank you,” I snapped.

“Thank you.” His voice dripped with sarcasm but he was smiling sweetly.

“Not to me. To E. He bought it for you.” I rolled my eyes as I glanced over at the table. E was standing in front of Donna, his head bent down close to her, and I couldn’t tell if they were kissing. Derek’s gaze followed mine as he ran the chalk over the end of his stick.

“He looks happy.”

“Yeah . . . he does.”

His face studied mine for a moment. “So why don’t you?” His eyes were narrowed and his beer-laced breath blew across my face.

“I am.” I tried to hide my frustration with him from my voice, but I was sure he caught it. “I’m just exhausted.”

This caused him to smile and he pressed his body against my side. “We did have quite a workout earlier.” His lips pressed against my neck and I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes as his arm slipped around my waist.

“Want to play another game?” E asked, and I opened my eyes to see him standing behind Donna, his hands on her shoulders. “I think the twins gave up.” He motioned with his chin, and I turned around to see Chris and Terry in a deep conversation with the women at the table behind us.

“Couples?” Derek asked with an eyebrow cocked.

“I don’t even know how to play.” Donna shook her head, and E pressed his mouth against her hair and said something in her ear, but his eyes watched me.

“Just us,” E called out. “Unless you’re afraid I’ll kick your ass,” he added with a laugh, and Donna brought her elbow back into his side and shook her head.

Derek laughed humorlessly and shot him a pointed glare. I knew I would never hear the end of his hatred for E when we got back to our room. “Not afraid, man. Not as long as I got my good-luck charm beside me.” Derek kissed my neck again, but it wasn’t soft and sweet as it had been a moment ago. He was clearly marking his territory, keeping his glare squarely on E.

“Want to make it interesting?” E’s fingers moved softly against Donna’s shoulders, but tension was obvious in his grip, too.

“Name your terms.”

Chapter Eleven

ERIC

IT WAS NO secret that Derek couldn’t walk away from a bet, and after last night I still didn’t feel satisfied that he had learned his lesson. I wouldn’t always be there to stop him from hurting Sarah, but maybe I could make her see that he wasn’t as good to her as she thought. It was starting to feel as if she’d never figure it out on her own. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to get back into the friend zone with Sarah, but right now it felt more important to get her away from that cheating asshole. Show her what a dick he really was.

“You want to go see what we can find on the jukebox?” Donna called over to Sarah.

She nodded, but turned to Derek. “Keep it friendly.” She kissed him on the lips, and his hand slid down over her ass as he deepened the kiss.

I clenched my jaw as I waited for the girls to walk away out of earshot.

“Loser has to get a tattoo. Whatever the winner picks, wherever the winner picks. Just no face ink.” Derek was nearly head to toe with tattoos, and I didn’t have anything. I knew it was a risky move, but I wanted to prove a point. Hopefully, at the end of the night, neither of us would be getting inked.

Chris came to stand by my side and cocked an eyebrow as he heard the bet.

“Either way I win.” Derek laughed and grabbed the balls from the slot underneath the table, and I knew he wasn’t just talking about the tat.

“Interesting bet,” Chris said as he cracked his knuckles.

I nodded, sipping my beer. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Since when?”

“Just shut up and watch.” I shook my head and grabbed a stick.

THE BEER FLOWED freely and I was keeping the game pretty evenly paced to this point. The more I drank, the more I relaxed and joked around with everyone. Everything felt as it had months ago while we were on tour. Derek and I had never liked each other, but we tolerated each other. I pretended that nothing bothered me.

That was until Derek’s hand slid up Sarah’s bare thigh. I began to focus on the game and sank one shot after another.

When I knocked the last ball into the corner pocket, Donna wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. I had to give it to her, she was one hell of an actress. Derek tossed his stick on the table angrily and mumbled something about me cheating. I laughed at the absurdity of his accusing someone else of cheating and sat my beer on the edge of the table.

“I’m just better than you,” I called out as he walked away from Sarah, and she glared over at me.

“It’s just a stupid game,” she said as she grabbed his arm to stop him from storming off, but he pulled from her grip.

“Fuck him,” he snapped as he looked over her shoulder to me. “I don’t know how you could be friends with that prick.”

I waited to hear Sarah defend our friendship, but she didn’t say anything.

“Let’s go get this over with.” He stepped closer to the table.

Sarah looked from Derek to me, confused. “Get what over with?”

He just shook his head.

“You not gonna follow through?” I asked, knowing damn well he wouldn’t let me get the best of him. Not after I’d just embarrassed him in front of his girlfriend.

“Let’s fucking do it. What do you have in mind?”

I pretended to think it over. “I’ll figure it out when we get to the tattoo parlor.”

“You bet a tattoo?” Sarah asked, narrowing her eyes at me. I nodded but avoided her glare. I knew exactly what she was thinking. I didn’t have any because I refused to put something permanent on my skin when everything in my life to this point had always been so temporary.

“Fuck it. Let’s go,” Derek mumbled.

I grinned.

“What are you up to?” Donna asked quietly as we made our way toward the exit.

I pressed a kiss into her hair. “You’ll see.”

She shook her head but didn’t press any further. As we walked down the main drag toward Tit for Tat, Chris and Terry had a field day fucking with Derek about what I should make him get. Some of the more humiliating ones were tempting.

As we reached the door to the parlor, I pulled it open, waiting for everyone else to step inside. Sarah glared at me again but didn’t say anything.

I walked up to the shop manager and asked if he had any openings. The tattoo would be small and wouldn’t take long, so they said they could take us.

“What are you trying to get and where?” the manager asked as he put on his black-frame glasses. He reminded me of Clark Kent, only covered in ink.

I glanced over to Derek and raised an eyebrow. He pulled his shirt over his head and I examined the bare patches of skin.

“Chest will do. Right over the heart. I’ll make this easy on you since you did have the balls to come down and do this. Says a lot about what kind of man you are.” But I knew what he did next would really tell the truth about who he was. “Get Sarah’s name. Any font you like. I’ll buy.”

The look in his eyes was priceless. For a guy covered in the dumbest fucking tattoos imaginable, it was shocking he would hesitate, but I knew he would. A part of me almost felt guilty. I knew this would hurt Sarah. I knew it was a dick move. But I also knew it would force him to show his true scumbag colors to her.

Sarah’s eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open slightly. I looked down at Derek, towering over him by a good six inches and my frame at least twice as wide. He flicked the long hair from his face and his lip twitched. I had him backed into a corner. He would either have to get the tat to avoid upsetting Sarah or he would hit another nail into the coffin of their relationship.

“That’s stupid. I already have a tat for her.” He pointed to his arm, which had a black star in the same place Sarah had her tattoo that read ROCK.

“What’s one more?” I shrugged.

Derek didn’t respond, and Sarah turned, shoved open the door to the outside, and disappeared past the shop windows.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Derek took a step forward, getting in my face.

“I’m not the one who just pissed off my girlfriend.”

“That’s right. You’re the one who pissed off my girlfriend.”

As much as I hated to admit it, that stung. I knew Derek wouldn’t go through with that kind of commitment to her. I knew it would hurt her when he didn’t, but through the alcohol haze, I only saw exposing him for what he was.

Chris’s hand clamped on my shoulder, and Terry stepped up behind Derek.

“Pissing match is over. Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Chris kept his voice low so we wouldn’t disrupt other customers.

Derek sneered at me and turned to the door, slamming it open and disappearing into the night.

“What the hell was that?” Terry asked as he shook his head and laughed.

“I had to. Sarah thinks he is some kind of fucking hero after last night. It was this or hit him again.” I shrugged as I opened the door and waited for Donna to walk out.

“Do you think he went after her to make sure she makes it back okay?” Everyone stopped and just looked at me as if I had grown another head. “I’ll call her. You guys can go ahead.”

“I’ll text you where we go,” Donna said as Terry looped his arm over her shoulder and they began to walk across the street.

I pulled my phone from my pocket along with a crumbled piece of paper I had forgotten about. I held it in my palm as I called her and hoped she would answer.

After two attempts, she finally did and she wasn’t happy. “What?” she snapped.

I took a deep breath. “Where are you?”

“Oh, I don’t know, E. I’m at the corner of Pissed Off and Go Fuck Yourself.”

“Fair enough. I know I deserved that.”

“You humiliated me. Why would you do that? Huh? What if you would have lost? Would you have gotten a tattoo?”

I shut my eyes as I silently berated myself for being so fucking stupid. Having Sarah angry at me sobered me up quickly. “The real question is, why didn’t Derek?”

The line went silent and I pulled it back from my ear to make sure she hadn’t hung up.

“I’m fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I never meant to hurt you.”

“That is exactly what you meant to do.”

The line went dead and I struggled not to throw my cell phone and bust it into a million pieces. I clenched my fist, crumbling the scrap of paper tighter. I slipped my phone into my pocket and unfolded the paper as my eyes danced over the familiar handwriting.

I drove all night trying to escape,

the truth of you I cannot take,

On E and broken-down,

why is that bad luck follows when you come around?

My mind raced as I read it half a dozen times. Was she talking about me? It clearly said on E, but that could have meant exactly what it said. There it was, the dull ache in the back of my mind. But then I reread the line about bad luck and I couldn’t help but feel I had destroyed our friendship.

I took off down the street, needing desperately to forget everyone and everything. As I neared the end of the block and turned the corner toward the hotel, I stopped at the sight of Sarah, her head in her hands as she cried quietly to herself.

“Sarah . . .” I wrapped my arms around her and she pulled away from me, but I tightened my grip, holding her against my chest.

“Get off me,” she sobbed as her tears continued to flow.

“I’m not letting go.”

“You should. Derek is the one that should be hugging me right now.”

The mention of his name infuriated me. For the millionth time, I considered telling her what Derek had done last night. But I knew that would only make things worse. Unless she saw it for herself, she’d never believe me. Especially not now.

And it’s not as if I had any solid proof to show her—it was my word, my obviously jealous word, against his.

“But he’s not here, Sarah, I am.” I rubbed my hand down her back trying to calm her. “Friends hug. Let me hold you.”

“It’s not the same.” She looked up at me through sad, tear-filled eyes. I brushed her hair back from her damp face.

“I know you would rather it was him here. I’m sorry.”

“No. I mean this isn’t the same.” Her eyes burned with rage as she gestured between us. I was suddenly aware of her breasts pressed against me, the fruity smell of her shampoo. We were completely alone in the alley and she wasn’t struggling to get away from me anymore. Instead, she was studying my eyes, a look of pain on her face. “We were great friends. Why would you mess that up?”

“Hey, it was you who spent weeks dodging my calls and clearly trying to cut me out. I wasn’t the one that ruined it.”

Wrong thing to say.

“Are you fucking kidding me? So that’s what all of this is? You’re trying to get back at me for not calling you? You’re such a girl some-times.”

I laughed and it only pissed her off more, but I couldn’t help it. Did she really have no idea how I felt about her?

“You think I kissed you to get back at you? You think the bet was to get back at you?”

“You tell me.”

I wanted to tell her everything, lay it all on the line, but she might never talk to me again. Instead, I tried to make things go back to before the tour ended. Having her in my life and watching her with someone else was still better than not having her around at all.

“I didn’t mean to fuck up our friendship, Sarah.” I shook my head, hating that I was hurting her. “Forget everything I said. I promise you I will leave you alone while you’re here.”