Текст книги "Fighting For You"

Автор книги: Sydney Landon

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Chapter Twelve

Declan walked around the corner from the office to meet Julie for lunch. Other than being sure he had slept with her, he was no closer to remembering exactly where and when. There had been far too many occasions when he had drank too much with the guys, and then found a willing woman to chase away a few hours with. It hadn’t been any time in recent memory though. It was sheer curiosity that had brought him here to meet her.

He should have gone with his first inclination and blown her off. Ella’s polite manner seemed to be rubbing off on him. Remembering the strange looks she had been shooting him earlier, he knew she had picked up on his preoccupation. He felt guilty like he was cheating on her, which was absurd. He had no interest in the woman he was meeting and he had made no promises to Ella. Even as he thought it, though, he knew that with a woman like Ella, the first time he had slept with her had been a promise of sorts. He would just get this over with and move on. He sincerely hoped that Claire didn’t mention anything to her.

As he walked in the door and scanned the tables, he saw Julie tentatively wave to him from a back table in the corner. He pasted on a polite smile that he was far from feeling and made his way over to her. “Nice to see you again, Julie.” Ah hell, Ella really was getting to him. Next he would be asking her about the weather. Get to the point, Stone! Luckily, Julie seemed to read his mind and took a direct shot.

“You have no idea who I am, do you?”

“You look familiar, but no, I can’t place you. Should I?” Declan took a moment to study her reaction to his answer. She didn’t appear upset, just rather resigned. He’d have felt better if she had upended the water glass she had in front of her in his lap. Feminine outrage was easier to deal with.

Julie looked down at the hands she was twisting in her lap and appeared to be talking to them instead of him. “After the first two attempts, I never thought this day would come again. I had accepted that and put it down to fate. I never regretted it and, if anything, I owe you a huge debt of gratitude. Now that this moment is here, I don’t know where to begin.” Then, raising pleading eyes to his, she asked, “Should I just blurt it out, or do you want the whole story?”

What he really wanted was to get up and run like hell. His internal warning system was beeping loudly in alarm. Even though he had no desire to hear a long drawn-out story, he thought that he might need time to compose himself. “Just start at the beginning, whatever that might be.”

Julie took a deep breath and asked, “You did sort of recognize me this morning, right? You might not remember from where, but I look familiar?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that. I’ve obviously met you before.”

After briefly closing her eyes, she opened them again and he could see the resolve there. Gone was the uncertainly of a few moments ago. Somehow, he preferred nervous Julie to the determined version looking him squarely in the eyes now.

“Declan, we met over five years ago at a party. I don’t even remember who was hosting it. I was there with a few friends and I believe you were there with some of your buddies from the military. You were all in uniform and had just gotten into town. I . . . I was in a bad place that night. My mom had been battling cancer for a year and had just passed away. My friends had insisted I get out of the house because they were worried about me. I reluctantly agreed to go to a party with them where I drank way too much and, um . . . met you.”

Declan scanned his memory vaguely remembering a few parties that he had attended over the years like the one she had described. Like Julie, he had drunk way too much at them and barely remembered the person or even persons that he ended up with for a few hours. “If you were that drunk, how do you even remember what I look like, much less my name? I wasn’t in the habit of giving out contact information back then.”

“We had sex that night, Declan, and then both passed out. When I woke up the next morning, you were still out. I got dressed as quietly as I could, just wanting to get out of there before you woke up. When I was picking up my clothes, I saw your wallet lying on the floor beside them. I picked it up with the intention of putting it back in your pocket before it was lost. Out of curiosity, I opened it just so that I could say I at least knew the name of the man I had slept with. Your military ID was in there. Your name is rather unusual so it was hard to forget.”

Swiping an impatient hand through his hair, Declan asked, “So this entire covert meeting is just a trip down memory lane? If you’re looking to appease your conscience over having a one-night stand, honey, you’ve come to the wrong place. I’ve got enough shit of my own to wade through. It happened, it’s fine, now move past it. I have.” He rose to his feet and threw some bills down on the table intending to finally put an end to this awkward meeting.

Julie sprang to her feet and clutched his arm. “Wait! You have a son! Oh God, I’m sorry to blurt that out, but I owe it to Evan to try.” Then he was aware that she kept talking, but he couldn’t hear past the roaring in his ears. He hadn’t felt this shell-shocked since he left active duty in Afghanistan. Julie finally took mercy on him and pulled him back down in his chair.

Even though he knew in his gut that she wasn’t lying, he couldn’t stop himself from snapping, “No fucking way, lady. I always use protection.”

“Well, if you can remember all of the details of that night then you are doing better than I am. Before you even make your next comment let me say that, I . . . hadn’t been with a man since my mom got sick so you were it, Declan. Even if I were in doubt, which I’m not, there is no question that Evan is your son. He is the spitting image of you. I had no idea how much until I saw you again walking down the hall this morning. If was like looking at an older version of my son . . . your son. Um . . . are you alright?”

He knew from the concern in her voice, that he must look as green as he felt. He had a son? How in the hell had that happened? Men like him didn’t usually have kids and the ones who did would never be father of the year. Even though he felt the urge to puke, he was surprised at how well he was holding up considering the enormity of Julie’s confession. Without saying a word, he signaled for the waitress and ordered a double scotch, neat. He rarely drank during the day, but this was no ordinary lunch. Julie wisely waited until his drink was delivered and he had thrown it back before speaking.

“Do you um . . . need some time to process this? I know it’s a lot to drop on you. Just let me say that I don’t want anything from you, Declan. I have supported my son since he was born and I will continue to do so. I just didn’t want to miss this opportunity for Evan to know his father even if it’s in very small measures.”

“If you knew my name and that I was in the military, why didn’t you try to contact me?”

Julie’s laugh held little humor. “Uncle Sam can be closemouthed. I tried to find out where you were stationed and an address, but I couldn’t get anywhere. I even had someone tell me that if the military gave contact information to every female who called in claiming to be pregnant, the bases would be overrun with female civilians trying to find men that usually didn’t want to be found. She followed up this helpful information by telling me that if you had wanted to speak to me again, you would have given me your address or number and that I should just give it up. After that, I decided that I needed to start making plans and stop trying to figure out how to find you. I just panicked when I found out and desperately needed some kind of support. Luckily, I have some pretty great friends who have been very helpful adopted aunts and uncles to Evan.”

Declan shook his head in disbelief before finally deflating on a loud sigh. “Julie, what are you looking for here? I know you claim not to want financial support, but what if that’s all I can offer you? I’ve hardly lived a lifestyle that you would want your son around, hell, you should know that. I’ve never even really been around kids except for the one that Jason and Claire keep shoving in my hands when I’ve had to stop by their house to pick up some contracts a few times. Truthfully, when that happens, I spend the next few minutes trying to hand her back.”

Julie threw back her head and laughed. “Chrissie is a baby, Declan, Evan is a bit different. He’s not likely to pee, poop or throw-up on you and he is getting too heavy for me to lift so you don’t have to worry about me shoving him into your arms. I’m not asking for any type of commitment from you. I just want you to see Evan once. Not as his father, but as a friend. I won’t tell him who you are unless you want that in the future. I’d never get him excited like that and then have you disappear. When and if he knows that you’re his father, it will be because you plan to take an active part in his life.” Holding up her hand to stop him, she added, “When I say active part, I mean with Evan only. I’m not looking for anything personally from you. I am engaged to a wonderful man, Graham, whom Evan loves as well.”

Declan surprised himself when he asked, “Do you have a picture with you?” Julie nodded and took her wallet from her purse. Her face softened as she looked at the photo before handing it to him. He felt a kick right to his gut as he studied the child in the picture. There was indeed a strong resemblance there and despite his best efforts, he felt a longing that he never would have thought he’d feel. Holding it up, he asked, “Can I keep this?”

Julie looked pleased by his question. “Of course. I would have brought more, but I had no idea . . .”

“Thanks. So what exactly did you have in mind as far as me, uh, meeting him?”

Sitting back in her seat, Julie expelled a breath and said, “Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to take it this well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you are, it’s just a bit surreal after all of this time. As far as seeing Evan, maybe you could meet us at McDonald’s. He loves the playground there and he wouldn’t question your presence as much as he would if you were to come to our house.”

“McDonald’s, huh? I’ve avoided the playground there like the plague my whole life,” Declan joked. Was he in shock? Why was he still sitting there instead of running for his life?

Julie laughed, “I don’t think it’s the dream place of any adult, but you get used to it.”

Out of nowhere, Declan found himself asking, “Do you . . . would it be a problem if I brought someone with me?” For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he had asked that question. Who was he going to ask? There was no way he could tell Ava or Brant. They would freak out and make things worse. That only left Ella and that seemed like too much to spring on someone you had just started seeing. Hey, before we go out tonight, can we swing by McDonald’s and meet the son that I never knew I had? If she was smart, she would take her chances and jump out of the moving car rather than continue on with him. But he knew he had to tell her if he expected this thing between them to continue for any length of time.

She looked surprised, “Sure. I guess I should have asked, are you married?”

Grimacing, he shook his head, “No, I’m not. I’m seeing someone though and I would like to bring her.” Seeing the hesitation on Julie’s face, he raised a brow and added, “Relax, she’s nothing like me. She’s a nice person and likes kids.”

“Oh . . . Okay. When would you like to meet? How about this weekend?”

“Why not tonight?” he countered. He hated to admit that he was afraid to have too much time to think. After he saw the child, he would be requesting a DNA test. She seemed sincere, but life had taught him that facts in black-and-white seldom lied, but people were another matter.

“I thought you would need more time. You’re actually taking this better than I would have expected. Are you sure you aren’t in shock?”

Declan smiled his first genuine smile of the strange meeting. “More than likely I am, but I’m not much for indecision. I need to see your son and I’d prefer it be sooner rather than later.” He could tell that she wasn’t entirely comfortable with his thinly veiled demand.

“Alright, but this is how I want to do it. Evan and I will be at McDonald’s at six in the playground area. I think it would be best if you came a little after that. I’ll introduce you as friends, although he is very bright and will probably wonder why I’ve never mentioned you before. Also, if you could buy food and have it with you, I think that would look less suspicious than you dropping in without eating. I’ll also need your date’s name so that I can introduce him to you both.”

Clearing his throat, he said, “It’s Ella Webber.”

“Evan will spend a lot of his time running around and playing so don’t expect him to sit down to talk for a long period,” Julie added fondly, “Plus, conversations at McDonald’s are a little difficult sometimes depending on how many kids are there.”

Declan said, “Yeah, I can only imagine. Will half past six give you enough time to get there and settle in?”

“That’s fine. Just remember, please, that we aren’t mentioning anything about who you are other than your name.”

Standing, he said, “I’ve got it.” He waited for Julie to stand and followed her out the door. “I’ll see you later.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned back toward Danvers International and knew that the rest of his day would be a total waste. How were you supposed to go back to business as usual when something like that was dropped in your lap? On the other hand, sitting around his apartment brooding about it wouldn’t do any good either. He’d go back to the office and get lost in work for the afternoon. He also needed to tell Ella what was going on this evening. He hoped that after, she would be willing to go with him to see his son . . . fuck, that was unreal to even think. Yet this was how things went in life. You were coasting on a good wave and the next minute you were spitting out dirt.

First, he needed to make sure that Evan was actually his and he would begin that step tonight. No need to look ahead until everything was confirmed. Possibly it would be better to wait until that happened before he told Ella, but he needed her tonight. She was always the calm to his storm and never had he craved that more than right now.

Chapter Thirteen

Ella ran a critical eye over her reflection in the mirror. Declan had said to dress casual this evening and she hoped that the Capri slacks and sleeveless top that she was wearing fit the bill. She had only seen him briefly since this morning, just long enough to confirm their date for this evening. He had seemed scattered and distracted. Butterflies danced in her stomach when she heard his firm rap at the door. Even his knock sounded sexy. Gosh, she could be such a pathetic girl sometimes. Opening the door she thought to herself as she saw him, oh yeah, it gets even better.

“Hey, Ellie.” Before she could answer, he was through the door and she was in his arms. She lost track of their surroundings as he devoured every inch of her mouth. She heard his answering moan when she lowered her hand and slid it along his firm butt. It might be a bit superficial of her, but she loved this part of his anatomy. It was tight and firmly muscled, just begging to be stroked. Down girl. You don’t have to make up for years of missed sex all in one month. Do try to have a little control. She couldn’t control the giggle that slipped out as she tried to give herself a pep-talk.

As Declan pulled back to look at her inquiringly, she muttered, “Whoops, sorry.”

He rubbed his thumb over her cheek as he said, “I hope your hand on my ass and the laugh that followed isn’t related.”

Ella patted him one more time on the area in question and shook her head. “Nope, I was just trying to talk myself into having some self-control where you are concerned.” She promptly wanted to kick herself for admitting that to him. She needed to work on the bad habit she had of blurting out whatever was on her mind without thinking about it first.

Chuckling, Declan pulled her further into her apartment and toward the couch. “Don’t go doing that on my account, Ellie, I like you just fine the way you are. How was your day?”

Ella groaned and fell down on the couch dramatically. “My mom finally got me on the phone. I was afraid she would come in person if I kept avoiding her calls.”

Giving her a sympathetic look, he asked, “How did that go?”

“Ugh, about how I expected. She ranted for a while and then told me how embarrassed she would be if anyone else found out. The worst part was the speech on safe sex. I think I’m scarred for life.”

Declan pulled her into a hug. “Sorry, baby, I bet that was rough. She isn’t planning to make another surprise visit anytime soon is she?”

“I don’t think so, but you can never be sure where she’s concerned.”

“Let’s just cover our bases and stay at my place then.”

“Deal.” Pulling back slightly, she looked up at him and asked, “So how was your day? You seemed a little stressed.”

She had been expecting him to laugh it off as something work related so she was surprised and a bit wary when he took a deep breath and took her hand. Surely, he wouldn’t have mentioned staying at his place if he were going to end things between them. But there was definitely something that he appeared to be trying to work his courage up for. “Declan?”

“Ellie . . . I don’t quite know where to start. Hell, I’m still in shock myself so how can I expect you to react better.”

When he paused as if looking for a starting point, she squeezed his hand in encouragement. “You’re starting to scare me. Just start at the beginning. You obviously need to get whatever it is out.”

“I know . . . you’re right. This morning Claire had a friend with her at the office.” Ella nodded her head to let him know she had seen her. “Well, I ran into them in the hallway and she seemed to know me. She even called me by name.” At her sudden stiffening, he rubbed her arm saying, “I know what you’re thinking and you are partly right, but that doesn’t have anything to do with what has happened. Just hear me out.”

“Okay, sorry. Please go on.”

“She asked if we could go somewhere to talk and we settled on meeting around the corner for lunch. Before you think the wrong thing Ellie, there wasn’t anything sexual about it. She obviously knew me and I was curious enough to see why seeing me had her so rattled, so I went.” Ella urged him on when he stopped to gauge her reaction. “I’m not proud of the fact that one-night stands were the norm for me when I was in the military and she was one of them. I thought at first that she was just there to question me about why I never called her or something like that even though it seemed a bit strange to go to that much trouble years later.”

“That wasn’t it, was it?” Ella asked softly.

“No . . . it wasn’t. She informed me that she has a son and I’m the father.”

She had guessed that as he had filled in some of the blanks, but she was still shocked enough to gasp when he finally confirmed it. “Wow, I . . . wow. Are you sure? Do you remember her at all?”

“She looked vaguely familiar to me and I remember the party she mentioned. She did show me a picture of a boy that looked similar in coloring to me. I’ll confirm it though with a paternity test just to be certain.” Worry was evident in his gaze when he turned to focus on her. “I know you didn’t sign on for this and I’ll understand if it’s just too much for you to handle.”

Ella gave him a smile of encouragement and chose her words carefully. “You’re right. I never expected this type of situation when we started dating. It means a lot to me that you are telling me now, before things go further. I don’t think I’d be who you think I am if I walked away now. I’m here for you in any way that you need me. If this child is your son, then I would be honored to meet him and spend time with you both.”

Declan pulled her against his chest in a tight hug. “I’m so glad to hear you say that because I would love for you to come to McDonald’s with me tonight to meet him.”

“Oh my God! You’re meeting him tonight?”

“Yeah, but it’s nothing formal. Julie is going to take him to the playground there and asked us to drop by and be introduced as friends of hers. She doesn’t want to mention anything around him about me being his father. I don’t think she trusts me to stick around since, rightly so, her opinion of me isn’t very high.”

“Well, why didn’t she tell you when she found out she was pregnant and at least give you a chance?”

“She claims she tried to find my contact information from the military, but they weren’t very forthcoming which is probably true. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on bullshit and she seemed nothing but sincere.”

“I’d be happy to go along tonight, Declan, if you don’t think it will make things more awkward?”

He sagged against her in relief. “Thank you. I already told her that I wanted to bring someone along. I . . . I don’t want to go alone.” Taking a quick look at his watch, he stood up and pulled her to her feet. “We need to head out.”

Ella let Declan settle her in his car and was relieved when he turned on the radio. It seemed they both needed time to ponder the meeting ahead without having to make conversation. It was amazing how far off-track this evening had veered from what she had been expecting. Declan had a son or supposedly did. He seemed to be handling it remarkably well.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She loved kids and would, of course, love a child of Declan’s even more. Probably the biggest thing she had felt initially other than surprise had been fear. She was attached to Declan. Even though they had only been dating a short time, they had formed a bond over the last few months before they had actually taken the relationship to the next level. She knew it was selfish, but she was afraid of what this would mean for them as a couple. Would this be so overwhelming for him that he would need to step back from her to concentrate on his son?

She was also curious about the child’s mother. She had seen her with Claire briefly that morning, but didn’t remember anything other than thinking she was pretty. Declan had said that there was nothing sexual about their conversation and that it had centered squarely on the child, but would it remain that way? He was such an attractive man and the attraction must have been mutual since they had slept together once before. She felt her head spinning as she thought of all the different scenarios that were possible there. Her mother always said that life never gave you more than you could handle, but she had a feeling her life was about to put that saying to the test in the not so distant future. She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost jumped out of her skin when Declan laid a hand on her leg.

“You were a million miles away, Ellie. I know it’s not fair of me to dump this on you so soon. Is this crossing the line? I can drop you at home if you aren’t comfortable with this.”

She laid her hand on top of his and knew that for tonight, she needed to be the stronger person in their relationship. He had asked her to be a part of one of the biggest moments in his life and she needed to stop thinking about how this would affect her and worry about how it was affecting him right now. If she freaked out over this, he wasn’t likely to include her in any other activities that included his son. Funny, it wasn’t a question to her whether this was his child, she knew deep down that this was no false alarm and Declan seemed to feel the same. “I’m good, I promise. It’s a lot to take in, but I’m here for whatever you need.” He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. She felt that tingle that she always felt when he touched her.

When they pulled into the parking lot, she wanted to laugh at the look on his face. There were kids jumping in and out of cars and minivans and they had to wait on one family of six to cross in front of their car before they could park. Smiling to herself, she had to wonder how many times he had been in a McDonald’s over the years. He didn’t strike her as a fast-food type of guy and certainly not one that catered to children.

He took her hand like a lifeline when they reached the sidewalk. “Showtime.” Somehow his statement seemed more like a question. She nodded her head in agreement and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before they walked inside. “Julie said we should get food so that it doesn’t look strange that we’re here,” he said. They both settled on a quarter pounder and fries. His pace got slower and slower as he carried their tray toward the loud play area. “That looks like total hell in there,” he muttered.

Ella had to laugh. It was adorable that he was terrified to go into a room full of kids. “You can do it; I’ve got your back. They usually don’t bite.”

“Bite? Damn, are they kids or animals?”

Shaking her head, she said, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but that goes the same for most people. Do you see Julie?”

Declan looked through the glass enclosure and pointed to Julie sitting in a back booth with a small, dark-haired little boy beside her. Ella almost plowed right into his back when he suddenly froze in place. He turned to her with a look of true panic on his face. “I don’t think I can do this.”

She had been impressed and surprised that he was taking something this huge so well. But here was the true evidence of what he was feeling. Looking at him now, she knew he had been operating on pure adrenaline and now he was crashing. She pulled him gently away from the windows before Julie could see them and took the tray from his hands. “Sit down here for a moment and take a deep breath.”

“Ellie, I . . .”

“I know, Declan, and it’s okay. This is big. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t. If you really don’t think you can handle it, we will walk right out that door. If we do though, you’ll be back. Maybe not tonight, but soon after. Despite how overwhelming this is, you won’t let yourself walk away from responsibility. You aren’t built that way.”

“I’ve walked away from people time and again, why would this be any different?”

Ella put her hand on his chest and looked up into his troubled eyes. “Those women knew the score. I know you never made any promises to them. This is quite possibly your son though, and that isn’t something you could live with. You won’t be able to stay away, I know you well enough to know that. Now we go in there, keep it casual, and just see how it goes. He isn’t going to know you are his father so there’s no pressure. I’ll be right beside you and we can leave anytime you need to.” She hid a smile when she saw him visibly square his shoulders. His temporary panic attack seemed to be subsiding and the self-assured man that she knew was coming back.

Giving him another encouraging smile, she watched while he picked their tray back up. Before he started forward once again, he turned to her and whispered, “Thank you, baby.”

Is it wrong to think that was one of the sexiest things he has ever said to me? He was depending on her to get through this. Plus, having a man like Declan call you baby was something that women everywhere probably fantasize about. Just that simple sentence for some reason boosted her self-confidence and he wasn’t the only one doing some shoulder squaring as they walked toward the door of the playground. The noise was deafening when they walked through the door and made a path through running and screaming kids to reach the table.

As they approached, Julie looked up with a friendly, but curious smile on her face.

“Oh, hi, you two. How great to see you. Evan, these are some friends of mine, Declan and Ella. Can you say hello to them?”

Evan looked up from his meal and gave them a shy smile. “Hello.”

Ella felt her heart stutter in her chest and then flip over. There was no doubt in her mind now that this was Declan’s child. The resemblance was uncanny right down to those beautiful eyes that she admired so much. If love at first sight was possible, she had just lost her heart to the little boy giving her his father’s smile. She shook herself out of her own daze in time to realize that Declan was standing beside her in a similar daze. She gave him a gentle nudge in the side and he lurched forward, almost upending their tray. She decided to give him a moment to recover by continuing the conversation. She couldn’t really tell Julie that she was happy to meet her since they were supposed to already know each other so she settled for giving her a warm smile before turning to Evan.

“Well hello there, Evan, it’s so nice to meet you. I see you got a Happy Meal, what kind of prize did you get?” She knew she had asked the right question when he started digging in his box enthusiastically until he came up with a car and stickers to decorate it.

“I got a race car, but mom says I have to finish my food before I can play with it.”

Declan had finally recovered enough to lower their tray to the table and step back for her to precede him into the booth.

“I bet your mom wants to make sure your tummy is full so you will have lots of energy to play with your new car. I bet Declan would love to help you when you both finish eating.”

Evan swung a hopeful look toward Declan, who nodded saying, “Sure, I’d love to, Evan. I used to collect cars like this when I was younger and still have a pretty good collection.” All three sets of eyes swung to Declan with varying degrees of surprise. He laughed saying, “Hey, it’s a guy thing, right, Evan?”

Evan beamed back at Declan and Ella could literally see the first fragile strands of a bond forming there. With care and attention, she knew it would eventually flourish if Declan treated it with care. As they continued to discuss cars, she turned her attention to Julie and saw her valiantly trying to wipe at the moisture welling in her eyes. She grabbed a napkin from their tray and quietly passed it over to her. She took it with a smile of gratitude. Since Declan occupied Evan’s attention, Ella quietly said, “You have a wonderful son. You must be so proud of him.”