Текст книги "Fighting For You"

Автор книги: Sydney Landon

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

What must it be like to have a relationship like the one Beth had with Nick? She knew it hadn’t always been easy for them, but they were in such a good place now. Nick seemed to adore Beth and she knew the feeling was mutual. He wanted to marry her immediately and she wanted to wait until after the baby was born. She said she couldn’t bear to be huge in her wedding pictures. Everyone else thought she was crazy, but Ella could imagine that for someone who had battled a weight problem for most of her life, it was very important to her to look her best on her wedding day.

Thoughts of Declan pushed back into her mind as she imagined a wedding day with him. Men like him probably didn’t do marriage. Was that something she was willing to give up for him? The memory of how he’d kissed her as if he wanted to consume her meant she’d consider it. She had felt a fire roaring through her blood that had never been there before. From the feel of his hardness pressing into her stomach, he had also felt the same. If by some miracle she was able to start a relationship with Declan, would it be enough? Would she be satisfied by the type of flame that had burned through them for those brief moments or would she eventually want more from him and their future?

All of a sudden Ella felt like she was in over her head. Having such a limited experience with men had never bothered her until now. If not for Beth, Suzy, and Claire she would be lost. She certainly couldn’t discuss sex with her mother. Her overprotective parents were still trying to talk her into moving back home. Her room was exactly as she had left it, a shrine to the nerd that she had been. Back then, books and school had been her only life. Dating was something that would never have been discussed in her parents’ house. Until she got the job at Danvers International, she was set to be a spinster and live with her parents forever. Some days she still couldn’t believe the girl who looked back at her in the mirror. Beth had helped her to look like the person that she had always dreamed of.

The old Ella would never have had the nerve to go after a man like Declan. Sure, like most women, she would have looked twice at him, but that would have been it. Now, she not only wanted him, she was determined to make him accept that he wanted her too. And if this was what it took, she would go on boring date after boring date until she had the experience that she needed to seduce a man like him.

Chapter Four

Declan barged into Nick’s office the next morning without bothering to knock. Nick raised a questioning brow in his direction and motioned for him to take a seat while he finished the call he was on. Rather than sit, he continued to prowl around the office until Nick was free. “Hey, Dec. What can I do for you?”

Never one for small talk, Declan got right to the point. “Have your girlfriend drop Ella from the dating service that she signed her up for.”

Hearing Nick’s groan, Declan turned back to face him. “Shit, has every woman in this building joined at one time or another? Beth used them too. I even crashed one of her dates. I’m not saying I agree with it, but I don’t know what I can do about it. Ella is a grown woman and I don’t think she’s interested in my opinion on her dating life.”

“She may not be interested in it, but I’m sure she would listen to Beth.”

Nick leaned back in his chair and studied him. “You know, Dec, this is probably the longest conversation we have ever had about anything that didn’t pertain to business. I thought we would eventually ease into a friendship. Maybe enjoy a few drinks while we watch a game. I never imagined we would be discussing your woman problems this soon in our relationship.”

Declan allowed a smirk to curve his lips as he acknowledged the truth of Nick’s statement. He didn’t hang out with much of anyone and that included Nick Merimon. This was certainly the most personal conversation he had had with anyone in the office, besides Ella, since coming to Danvers. “I don’t have woman troubles. I’m just trying to protect a friend.”

“So Ella is just a friend to you? If that’s true, why do you care who she dates?”

Declan raked an impatient hand through his hair. “Because she could get hurt. She knows nothing about men and is far too trusting. I don’t want her to end up in a situation that she has no idea how to handle.”

“Look, I don’t think Beth would put her in a position to get hurt. I’m sure they have all of that covered. If you’re worried about her, maybe you should talk to Ella. Hell, give her some self-defense classes. You would be a pro at that. I’ll mention your concerns to Beth, but don’t expect it to help. One thing you should know about that group of women is that once they have made up their minds, you just have to step out of the way and hope for the best.”

“Damn, Nick, that’s not good enough! She could be in danger. I know firsthand what can happen to someone like her when they trust the wrong person!”

“What are you talking about, Dec?”

Turning away from Nick’s direct gaze, Declan reluctantly answered, “My sister, Ava, was once an Ella until someone took her trust and innocence and ripped them away. I won’t let the same thing happen to Ella.”

Nick answered with a soft, “Wow, I had no idea, man. She’s so quiet; I really haven’t spoken with her much since she came on board here with your brother.”

“Yeah, well, Ava changed after all of that happened to her. She isn’t really comfortable around new people anymore, especially men. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention it around her. She wouldn’t want anyone’s pity.”

“No problem. I’ll do what I can with Beth. But, like I said, honestly, I wouldn’t expect anything to change. Maybe you should look to a plan B and watch over Ella yourself. I wasn’t kidding about the self-defense; it might be a great idea.”

“Maybe so. Thanks Nick, I appreciate the talk.”

Declan walked back toward his office and had to admit that Nick was right. Protecting Ella was going to fall on his shoulders. Teaching her to defend herself was also a good idea. If Ava had known how, her life might have been very different now. He wasn’t a man prone to fanciful thoughts, but he would love to see his sister smile that easy smile that she had for so many years before that bastard took it away from her. And he would be damned if he would let the same thing happen to his Ella.

Not your Ella, she will never be yours. Remember who you are.

* * *

“Ready to go, kid?” Ella looked up to see Beth, Suzy, and Claire standing on the other side of her desk with their purses. The morning had passed in a blur of work and thoughts of Declan. She was surprised to see that it was well after noon.

“Get your things,” Suzy demanded. “I hear you have some good stuff we need to hear during our lunch hour.”

Ella looked over at a sheepish Beth.

“Hey, you know that pregnant women can’t keep anything that good to themselves. I really tried, but I can never hide anything from my sister.”

Suzy put her hands on her hips and looked at Beth. “Oh, really? It seems to me like you are the queen of hiding things. Let’s see, there was that whole doing my brother-in-law in my kitchen and then practically living with him for months before you told me.”

Beth’s face flushed red as she laughed. “Well, that was an isolated incident. I’m totally truthful now.”

Claire stepped forward and took her arm. “Come on, Ella. They can walk behind us and bicker all the way to the car. At least they’ll get it out of their system so we can all focus on you during lunch.”

True to her prediction, Beth and Suzy did indeed tease each other for the entire ride to lunch. Once again, Ella found herself grateful to have such an amazing group of friends. They might embarrass her more often than not, but she knew that they genuinely cared and would support her no matter what.

Since Beth had a craving for Japanese food, they decided on the Yamoto at Broadway at the Beach. Ella loved the mix of restaurants and stores arranged around a lake. Sometimes during her lunch break, she would come here alone and spend her hour walking the boardwalk and feeding the fish. Luckily, it was a favorite of everyone in the group so they came here often.

When they were settled at a table, Suzy leveled a direct stare at her and asked, “So, with tongue or without?”

As she choked on a sip of iced tea, Beth thoughtfully wacked her on the back.

“Wha . . . what?”

Flicking her wrist impatiently, Suzy asked, “Did he put his tongue in your mouth or did you just rub lips?”

“I . . . well.”

Giving her a sympathetic look, Claire said, “Honey, just go ahead and answer the question. It will be less painful.”

Ella took a deep breath and admitted, “Yes, there was tongue.”

“Good, good,” Suzy smiled. “Are we talking a lot of it or just a swipe?”

Ella could feel her face flaming as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I’m not sure how much a lot is, but it lasted a while and . . . I liked it.”

“You slut!”

“Suzy!” Beth and Claire both gasped out in horror.

“What? I’m just kidding. I’m happy that she admitted to liking it. My little girl is growing up.” They all laughed as Suzy looked at Ella like a proud parent. “So the dating thing is getting to him.”

“I don’t know,” Ella said. “Maybe.”

“Oh, yeah, it is. I busted him at the office watching you leave with your date. He didn’t know I was there so I had a few minutes to study him. When you strolled off with your not so attractive date, he looked like someone had kicked him in the balls.”

Ella was stunned. She had no idea that Declan had seen her leave with Hugh. “I never saw him.”

“I know,” Suzy smiled, “and that made it even better. I, of course, took a moment after you left to turn the screw. I’m not sure, but I think he might hate me now.” Normally, that thought might upset someone, but apparently not Suzy. “Alright, so this seems to be working. Do we have any more candidates? I gotta say though, you can do better than the last one. That man looked like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.”

At Suzy’s statement, laughter erupted all around the table. Claire, ever the diplomatic one, tried to smother her smile behind her napkin as she said, “Er, I’m sure he was fine, Ella. Suz just compares every man to Gray and, let’s face it, most men would come up lacking in that comparison. Plus, looks aren’t everything.”

Suzy snorted. “Yeah, it’s easy to say that when you’re married to Jason Danvers, right? Power to the little people and all.” In a perfect imitation of Claire’s soft voice, Suzy said, “Looks don’t matter as long as he has a good personality.” When Beth opened her mouth to speak, Suzy pinned her with a hard stare and said, “And Nick’s no ugly duckling either. Come on girls, he doesn’t have to be a model, but let’s at least get her up to average. That guy had ears so big, he could pass for Dumbo’s father.”

“Okay,” Beth laughed. “We get your point.” Turning to Ella she asked, “How about the guy that you told me about, wasn’t he a lawyer?”

Nodding, Ella said, “Yes, Travis. He said he was mid-thirties and practiced real estate law. He was pretty cute, I think.”

Claire gave a thumbs-up. “That sounds like a good one. Are you going to line him up for the next date?”

Ella looked at Suzy, waiting for her approval. It was kind of funny. Ella had started thinking of Suzy as the godfather of the dating world. You didn’t want to make a move without her approval. “That could work. Please tell me he isn’t a total bow wow.”

“No, he is much better than Hu—I mean, he is nice looking. I’ll e-mail him tonight.” Then with a sigh, Ella said, “I just wish that Declan would ask me out already. I don’t really want to date anyone else. I want to be with him. I don’t even know if this is going to work.”

Beth put her arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “Sometimes men aren’t that smart, sweetie, and they have to be shown the way. I don’t think this will go on for long though. If Declan had that strong of a reaction to your first date, I can’t see him just letting it continue. And who knows, you might meet someone else and decide that you don’t want him.” All three people at the table looked at Beth as if she were crazy. “What? It could happen.”

Suzy shook her head before saying, “Honey, Declan is a prime piece of bad-boy candy. If you land that wild one, he will rock your world. I’m not saying you need to marry him, but you damn sure need to sleep with him. That is the sexual initiation that every woman should have. Of course, there’s also the fact that we all want to know how he is in bed.” The women nodded their heads in agreement. Apparently, more than one person at the table had given some thought to Declan’s . . . talents.

After lunch, Ella dropped a quick e-mail to Travis and made a date for Friday night. She hoped that the evening would not turn out as boring as the one she had spent with Hugh. It wasn’t encouraging that she had seen no sign of Declan yet. Her mood took a nosedive as she was faced with the fact that maybe the kiss last night was an isolated incident.

* * *

When Ella walked in the door of her apartment that evening, she felt depressed. Declan was apparently back to pretending that she didn’t exist. Even though she had known better, she hadn’t been able to keep from getting her hopes up that they had turned some corner the night before. That didn’t appear to be the case. Dropping her purse on the floor, she went straight for the freezer. It might not solve all of her problems, but a pint of cookie dough ice cream couldn’t hurt. Well, maybe it could when her butt expanded, but if this wasn’t an emergency then what was?

Not bothering with a bowl, Ella grabbed a spoon. Just as she slid the first creamy bite into her mouth, the doorbell rang. Please don’t let it be my parents. Of course it’s your parents, who else comes to visit you? She juggled the ice cream in one hand and opened the door without looking through the peephole. She was shocked into silence at the sight of her visitor.

Declan stood on her welcome mat in a formfitting pair of dark jeans and a T-shirt. He was holding a brown bag that smelled heavenly. “Declan . . . um . . . what—”

“Hey Ellie, I thought you might be hungry.”

“Ellie?” she asked in surprise.

“Sorry ’bout that. I tend to give everyone a nickname. Some I repeat, some I don’t. Just a carryover from my days in the military. Real names were hardly ever used there.”

Wow, she had just learned more about him in two minutes on her doorstep than she had in the previous month at the office. “That’s okay, I kind of like Ellie. I always thought Ella made me sound old.” Then realizing that he was still standing in the hallway, she hastily stepped to the side and said, “Come in.”

Declan walked past her and into her kitchen. He set the bag on the counter and turned back around. Shooting an amused look at the ice cream she was still clutching he asked, “So do you want some Chinese food, or are you dedicated to that carton you’re holding?”

She could feel her face starting to flame as she hastily shoved the carton back into the freezer. Now that she finally had Declan in her apartment, she had no idea what to do with him. First, stop staring at him and get some plates. Do you want him to know that you’ve never had a man over before? Pathetic! She gave him an awkward smile and turned to the cabinet behind her to get the plates. Naturally, the first plate she reached for slid out of her hands like a Frisbee and flew across the kitchen to land at Declan’s feet. She then compounded the disaster by racing forward to clean it up at the same time that he bent down. She saw stars as their heads crashed together and she promptly fell backwards on her butt from the impact.

“Whoa, Ellie, are you alright?” Declan laughed.

With a groan, she covered her face and hoped that she would simply disappear. “Oh, Calgon, take me away!” Yeah, like that ever really worked anytime other than the commercials.

She heard Declan chuckle above her before his hands gently pried hers from her face. “You’re a little dangerous, aren’t you? I’m all for a woman falling at my feet, but how about leaving the china out of the equation next time, sweetheart. Where is your broom?” She pointed him to the closet in the corner. He pulled her to her feet and patted her butt. “I hope everything is okay back there after your fall?” Speechless, she could only nod her head as he walked to the closet for the broom. He made short work of the cleanup and she set her small dining room table without further incident.

“So . . . Um, I’m kind of surprised to see you,” she began.

“Are you really, Ellie? Usually when I lick a woman’s tongue, they aren’t surprised to see me. Some might even look forward to it.”

Ella’s fork clattered to her plate as she stared at him. He continued to eat as if they always had conversations like this. “But . . . I just didn’t . . .”

He swallowed a bite and turned to her. “You want to be involved with me?”

“Involved?” Surely, he didn’t actually mean what it sounded like he meant and she wasn’t about to make a fool of herself yet again by assuming.

Declan took his time wiping his mouth with a napkin before answering. “My idea of what that means will probably be a little different from yours, Ellie, but I think you get the idea. I like you, I want you, and I think you feel the same. I’ve tried to step back even though I knew how you felt about me because you are just too good for someone like me.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he raised his hand to silence her. “For years I have lived a life that you can’t even imagine. I have done and seen things that would shock you, disgust you, and scare the hell out of you. Don’t even bother to doubt me, because even I run from the things in my head. So I can’t make any promises to you, Ellie, because more than likely I’d end up breaking them. I’m not going to be the man you settle down with or the man who gives you a family, but, honey, I can be the man who makes your skin burn, your toes curl, and who makes you lose your inhibitions and scream. That I can promise you.”

Ella felt her breathing kick into high gear as her nipples peaked and heat pooled between her thighs. Declan’s eyes blazed into hers as if awaiting her response. All she could manage to croak out was “Why did you change your mind?”

He leaned forward in his chair and trailed a finger down one of her flushed cheeks. “You are hell-bent on finding a man, Ellie, and even though you might end up hating me in the end, I’ll never hurt you physically. For you, I will even try to give you some of what you need.”

Man, was that an intriguing sentence. “Some of what I need?”

Declan shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable. “Yeah, you know a date kind of thing. Maybe dinner and a movie or whatever you enjoy doing. I want us to be lovers, Ellie, but I will try to give as much as I take. I haven’t done this whole dating scene in a long time and I’m not sure I even know how to do something so normal anymore.”

Ella could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Declan sounded so lost and alone. She had to wonder what he had gone through to make him sound afraid to do something so normal as go on a date. They had spent a lot of time talking at the office, but it was usually about her. He rarely ever talked about his life or his past. When she had tried to ask, he had changed the subject or made up some appointment he had to get to. She knew he had spent years in the military and she had to assume that that was the source of most of his demons. Shyly, she reached out and took his hand in hers. “I do like you. I haven’t made a secret of that, but before this goes any further, I need to tell you something.”

“I already know, Ellie.”

Ella’s jaw dropped in surprise as she asked, “You do?”

“Yeah, I do,” Declan smiled.

“Wha . . . what do you know?”

His smile turned in to a full-scale smirk as he said, “I know that you want my body. You don’t need to confess, sweetheart.” Declan burst out laughing as she stared at him with her mouth open. “I’m sorry, Ellie, I couldn’t resist. You looked so nervous that I thought you needed a good laugh. Now what do you need to tell me?”

Ella could only stare at the man sitting in front of her. He was actually making jokes. He seemed almost happy. Could he need her as much as she needed him? What he was offering her went against everything she had been raised to believe. He was as good as promising her that there would be no future for them. Had she waited for Mr. Right for this long only to settle for Mr. Right-now? If the only feelings between them were physical, why was she so drawn to him? Was she strong enough to battle his demons and save the man underneath it all?

Question after question swirled through her head as she gazed into the laughing eyes of the man before her. If she were truthful with herself, she would admit that the battle had been lost the moment he walked through her door. There was no way she could walk away from what he was offering. It might not be what she had always imagined her first love to be, but she knew in her heart that Declan would change her life forever whether he stayed for one night or for the rest of her life. She crossed her fingers that he didn’t run when she answered his questions. “I, um . . . don’t have much experience with what you’re talking about.” Declan rubbed his finger over the palm of her hand in a way that sent tingles across her skin. “Well, all of it, I guess. I’ve gone on dates, but it didn’t go much further than that.”

He extended his other hand and raised her chin, forcing her to make eye contact. “Are you a virgin, Ellie?”

Why wouldn’t the floor open up and swallow you when you really needed it? Ella would have been grateful for a crack even big enough to fall through. She had never really had this conversation with anyone other than Beth and certainly never a man. Maybe it was great to make it through your teenage years and still be a virgin, but when you were nearing thirty, it seemed more like a commitment to becoming the weird cat lady.

“My parents were pretty protective and didn’t let me date while I was in school so I never had many opportunities to . . . you know.”

Declan took a deep breath and suddenly toppled her off her chair and onto his lap. She gasped in surprise at the feel of his hard thighs against her bottom. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head under his chin. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, honey. I suspected as much. You’re a beautiful woman, but it’s obvious that you don’t use that beauty the way most women do. I’m going to be noble just one time here and offer to walk away if you don’t want this. You know I’m not offering you anything permanent so if you want your first time to be with the man you marry, then I’ll step back and let you go. I’m only going to make that offer once though, Ellie, so be damn sure before you answer.”

Ella pulled back and met his gaze without wavering. “I want you, Declan. You are the only man who has ever made me feel this way, and I’m not walking away.”

Declan let out an unsteady breath then he circled her lower lip with his fingertip. “Thank, God, because that would have probably killed me. He groaned as she wiggled on his lap. “Baby, please stop moving like that before I break my promise and take you right here. I want to show you all of the ways to give and take pleasure before I’m inside of you.”

Ella could feel herself blush again at Declan’s frank words. Despite his protests though, he seemed powerless to resist when she slid her hands into his hair and pulled his head slowly toward hers. She was dying for another kiss like their last one. She wanted to feel his tongue against hers and lose herself in the heat of his mouth. She placed her lips softly against his and waited for him to take the lead. But other than gripping her hips tightly, he didn’t move. She tentatively parted her lips and darted her tongue against the seam of his mouth. A rough growl erupted from his throat as he took control of the kiss. He nipped, sucked, and plundered every corner before pulling abruptly away.

“Ellie, we need to stop. I’m about two seconds from bending you over the kitchen table. And, as much as I’d love that, I’d rather that not be how your first time happens.”

Ella whimpered in protest and tried to pull him back to her, but he held her hands in his and denied her the contact that she was so desperately seeking. Sticking her lips out, she said, “Well, damn,” and then promptly covered her mouth with her hand.

Declan chuckled at her obvious frustration. He kissed her forehead and pulled her toward the door. “I’ve got to get going now. I would love to stay longer, but I can’t risk it right now.” Giving her what she knew was a rare uncertain smile, he asked, “How about we go to dinner tomorrow night?”

She grinned and quickly agreed.

As if he couldn’t help himself, he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and gruffly said, “Lock the door behind me, Ellie. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”

She turned the lock behind him and sagged against the door. Please tell me I’m not dreaming. To double-check, she pinched herself and was relieved when she felt the sting. She did a happy dance right in the middle of the kitchen. It was actually going to happen. Declan Stone wanted her, finally! She grabbed her phone and sent a quick text to Beth arranging for a girls’ lunch for the next day. She shuddered as she imagined the advice she would get from Suzy. Of course, with a husband like Gray, Suzy had proven that she knew how to get her man. She might be a little graphic, but the girl knew what she was doing. Beth texted her back wanting to know what was going on, but Ella didn’t want to discuss it yet. She wanted a night to let it all sink in. When the phone rang in her hand, she laughed as she answered the call. “You just couldn’t wait until tomorrow for all of the dirty details could you?” After a moment of silence, she cringed as she heard her mother’s voice.

“What dirty details are you talking about, Ella Marie?”

“Um . . . hi Mom,” she said weakly.

Never one to let a subject be changed easily, her mother repeated, “What dirty details?”

“Oh . . . well, it’s just a television show that Beth and I both watch. She didn’t get a chance to see it tonight so I figured she was calling to see what happened.” You big fat liar. Why didn’t you just tell her the truth? I’m sure she would be all for her baby girl having sex with a bad boy. She couldn’t imagine her mother’s reaction to that news. She would have grabbed her dad and they would be at her apartment before she could hang up the phone. They were still holding out hope that she would marry their pastor’s son who, incidentally, hated Ella because she laughed when he fell off his bike when he was ten. For someone whose father preached forgiveness weekly, he certainly knew how to hold a grudge.

With a loud sniff of disapproval, her mother said, “Honey, I have told you not to watch those trashy shows. There is nothing but smut on nowadays and a young, impressionable girl doesn’t need to see that.”

“Mom, I’m twenty-eight years old. I haven’t been a girl for a long time. You watch the cooking network all of the time and those women dress like s—”

“Ella! What has gotten into you tonight? I think you need to come home next weekend and spend some time with your father and me. Everyone at church has been asking about you. It’s gotten rather embarrassing to keep making excuses as to where you are.”

Ella wondered if her mother could see the irony of lecturing her about going to church while she admitted in the same breath that she lied about why she wasn’t there. She was smart enough not to mention that particular thought out loud though. She had learned years ago that things went better if you didn’t argue or make waves. Now, she tended to avoid these types of conversations with her mother altogether if she could. “Mom, it’s getting late and I need to get to sleep.”

Luckily, her mother wasn’t one to question it when you pretended to be sleepy at eight thirty. “Okay, honey. You know if that place is too much for you, your father could find you something that is less stressful. I don’t think those people there are very good influences on you anyway.”

Ella picked up the fork still sitting on the table from dinner earlier and pretended to stab herself with it. Why must her mother be so judgmental about everything and everyone? All she seemed to care about was how people in her church and the community viewed her. Appearances were everything to Dorothy Webber and she seemed willing to go to any length to keep them up. She couldn’t even imagine what her mother’s reaction would be when—and if—she met Declan. Only one word came to mind—horror. There was no way she would ever want him to sit at her dinner table.

She had tried her best to raise her daughter to be a doormat and constantly nagged now because it wasn’t working anymore. By moving out and getting a job on her own, Ella had successfully cut the apron strings and her mother didn’t like it one bit. Until Ella knew if there was any kind of future with Declan, she needed to keep them apart. She didn’t want to subject him to the disapproval and she didn’t want to put herself through the hell that would surely follow. For now, it was best to keep her parents in the dark and not let them realize that their daughter was finally starting to live her life on her own terms.