Текст книги "Fighting For You"

Автор книги: Sydney Landon

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

“He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hardly remember my life before him.” Then she leaned closer and dropped her voice further, “It’s nice to see you again, Ella.”

“You too, Julie. How long have you known Claire?”

Julie laughed, “For years. We used to work together and she would babysit Evan for me some while I was in school. I’m so happy for her and Jason. She really deserves to finally be happy. So do you work with Declan?”

“Yes. We both work at Danvers, but not in the same department. We met there though.”

“Have you been dating long? Yikes! You don’t have to answer that. My mother used to call me Nosey Nelly because I never stopped asking questions. I know poor Claire feels like she’s giving a tabloid interview every time we’re together.”

With a chuckle, Ella said, “I don’t mind. I’m like that too, only worse. Instead of asking questions, I just blurt out whatever is on my mind without thinking about it first. I’ve had more than my share of awkward moments when I wished I could stuff something in my mouth. To answer your question, we haven’t been officially dating long, but we’ve been friends for a while now.” They both looked over to see two similar dark heads bent in concentration over the small car from the Happy Meal. Declan was painstakingly peeling the small stickers off the sheet and Evan was applying them. Things appeared to be going well in that area, and she didn’t want to ruin the moment by distracting them. Picking up a French fry, she turned her attention back to Julie and asked, “Are you married or dating anyone?” Before Julie could answer, she rolled her eyes and pointed to herself. “See, I told you not to worry about asking questions, I’m just as bad if not worse!”

“You just might be my new best friend,” Julie joked. “I’m not married, but I’m engaged. We’ve been dating for about two years. Graham wanted to come tonight, but I was afraid it would be too much testosterone at one table. He’s great though. He’s a policeman. He won Evan over when he let him sit in his squad car.”

“I bet. Isn’t that every little boy’s dream?” When Julie stood up to let Evan out for the playground, Ella was appalled to realize she had consumed half of her meal without noticing. Apparently she had gotten so comfortable with Julie that she chatted on while eating. She could only hope that she hadn’t talked with her mouth full. Declan put his hand on her leg and gave it a small squeeze. She put her hand on top of his and leaned into his side.

Julie took her seat as Evan ran off to play. She looked at Declan inquiringly. “I think that went pretty well?”

Nodding, Declan said, “Yeah, he seems like a good kid.”

Smiling with obvious pride, Julie agreed. “I don’t know how to put this so I’ll just be direct and ask what your intentions are now? God, I know that sounds medieval, but you know what I mean.”

Ella felt Declan squeeze her leg tighter as he said, “I hate to come off sounding like an asshole Julie, but I can’t just take your word for something like this. There’s no arguing the fact that there is some resemblance between Evan and me, but I don’t want to have any doubts about something this important.”

Far from being offended, Julie smiled and said, “I never expected anything different. It was a long time ago and this is major. If you have any interest in seeing Evan again, I would insist on a paternity test. I don’t think you would be able to form a relationship with him without the piece of paper that proves you are his biological father. Since I work at the hospital, I can easily arrange for that to be done if you’d like.”

He reached in his back pocket and pulled a business card from his wallet. “Just give me a call with the details and I’ll be there. After the results are back, we’ll go from there, if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure, that’s fine. If you guys want to take off now, that would probably be for the best. Evan might start asking which kid is yours if you stay any longer.”

Ella slid out of the booth and waited for Declan to follow. They both saw Evan wave good-bye to them before he ran toward the slide with another little boy. She couldn’t help but think of how much his life would change soon when the man beside her proved to be his father. Come to think of it, all of their lives were bound to change and Ella could only hope it was for the better.

Chapter Fourteen

Declan was quiet on the ride home. Ella thought it was probably best to call it an early night and head to her own apartment. She knew he had a lot on his mind and probably just needed some time alone. When they stepped out of the car, she opened her mouth to tell him she was going home. Before she could utter one word, he had her pressed against the door and was devouring her mouth as if they hadn’t just kissed a few hours earlier.

She moaned low in her throat as he turned and walked her backwards to the elevator. His hand was now firmly gripping her butt, pulling her up against his arousal. He was always a very skilled lover, but had been gentle with her. This, however, was something different, more intense. Through careful maneuvering and a lot of good luck, they managed to make it into his apartment without breaking contact. He pushed her against the door as it closed. His lips branded her throat as his hands unzipped first his slacks and then hers. She kicked hers aside when they bunched around her ankles, suddenly feeling the same urgency that Declan seemed to be feeling.

Still without speaking a word to her, he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. With her back braced against the wall, he took her breath away as he plunged into her hard and deep. She could feel the sweat beading on his forehead when he leaned against her and paused to let her adjust to his invasion. When she wiggled against him, wanting more, his control snapped. Gone was the man who was usually so patient and gentle with her and in his place was a man bent on possessing and consuming her. Part of her knew that she should be afraid of something this wild and raw, but the other part of her was thrilled with Declan’s loss of control. She could feel her body racing toward an orgasm so strong, she didn’t know how she would keep from shattering into a million pieces. As if sensing she was on the edge, he angled his hips so that every stroke skimmed her clit. One more deep plunge and she exploded around him riding the waves of pleasure unlike any she had known before. He continued to move inside of her until finally with a hoarse shout, her spasms pushed him over the edge as well.

Somehow, they ended up on the floor in a tangle of limbs and clothing. She was sprawled against his chest and his feet were still trapped inside of his pants. His heart continued to race against her ear as they both gasped for breath. “Ellie . . . you okay?”

“Mmmm hmmm . . .”

“Fuck me . . . I didn’t mean to be that rough with you. I just . . . lost it. I’m sorry, baby.”

“For what?” She murmured drowsily, “I’m not sorry at all. I liked it, all of it.”

Declan raised her head, looking at her in surprise. “You did? I figured I scared the hell out of you.”

Shaking her head, she said, “I might not have much experience, but I love it when you let go. You don’t have to worry about me, I . . . I seem to like what you like, and I hope we do it again.” She felt his chest rumble at her confession. Was he laughing? Maybe you were supposed to be a little less enthusiastic after rough and tumble sex. She didn’t want him to worry about her though, and she wanted to make sure it happened again.

“Oh Ellie, I love that I never know what in the hell you’re going to say or do next. Let’s get off the floor and see if we can hobble to the shower. If you’re a good girl, I might have an encore in me tonight.”

Grinning, Ella asked, “What if I’m a bad girl?”

Declan slapped her naked butt saying, “Then I guarantee I’ve got something else for you.”

And he did . . .

* * *

Ella woke from a sound sleep with her heart racing. Something was wrong. What had startled her awake? Suddenly, the shout came again, followed by frantic movements from the man beside her. His voice echoed off the walls of the apartment as he screamed, “Craig! It’s a trap, stop! Craig, fucking stop, stop!”

She turned on her bedside lamp and, even though his eyes were wide open, he continued on, wrapped in some unseen terror. She caught a whiff of alcohol and remembered that he had left her in bed after making love the second time. He’d needed some extra time to relax and she had drifted off before he came to bed. Was he drunk?

She didn’t stop to think, she acted on pure instinct needing to comfort the distraught man. She attempted to put her arms around him whispering softly, “Declan, it’s okay, it’s me . . .”

He recoiled at her touch before he shoved her away so hard her head banged against the headboard and she saw stars. By the time she had her bearings back, he was pacing on the other side of the room looking more confused than anything. She didn’t dare approach him again. Instead, she started softly calling his name, over and over. It took several minutes, but she could see the dream loosening its grip on him as he slowly came back to her.

“What the . . . ?” He looked around as if trying to figure out what was going on. Horror crossed his face as he whispered, “Oh God, it happened didn’t it?”

She wasn’t surprised to find out that this was apparently a common issue for him. She didn’t think someone could have such a violent dream only once. There had to be some kind of memory causing it. “Who’s Craig?”

Flinching as if she had struck him, he turned away from her. “Just an old friend.”

“What happened to him? You said something about a trap?”

“Just leave it, Ellie!”

Ella felt like he had slapped her. He never took that kind of tone with her and she had no plans to leave it alone. “Well, excuse me, but I think I deserve to know since you almost knocked me unconscious over it.”

All of the anger drained from his body instantly and his head rolled back. “Oh fuck. Oh Ellie, baby, I’m sorry.” Walking to her side of the bed, he sank down on the bed and cradled her gently against his body. The smell of alcohol was stronger now, but his words were clear with no slurring. “What happened? I don’t remember anything until I woke up pacing.”

Snuggling into his warmth, she said, “You were screaming about Craig and something about him stopping because it was a trap. I tried to put my arms around you, which I know now isn’t the smartest thing to do when someone is having a nightmare. You pushed me away and I . . . bumped my head a little.” At his look of concern, she quickly added, “It was nothing, really, I’m fine.”

Ignoring her attempts to placate him, he asked, “Where did you hit your head?” He was already feeling along her scalp, looking for injuries. When his fingers found the tender spot, she couldn’t hide her wince. He cursed under his breath, but she knew it was directed inwardly and not at her.

“It’s nothing, really. I barely hit it on the headboard.”

He rubbed it gently before pulling away. “Let me get you some ice for it.”

She grabbed his wrists to stop him. “No, please, just hold me for a while. I think we both need it.” Obviously torn, he finally gave in and pulled her to him before rolling over and settling her on his chest. She felt his lips brush against her hairline as he whispered, “I’m so sorry baby. It kills me that I hurt you of all people. I’m so damn sorry.”

She put her fingers over his mouth, “Shhh, don’t. You were asleep and I made a dumb mistake. I scared you and you reacted. Anyone would have done the same thing. I’m really fine. I would like to know about Craig though. I think you need to talk about it.”

He expelled a long breath and just when she thought he wasn’t going to answer her question, he started talking quietly. “Craig and I were stationed together in Afghanistan. He was on the last leg of his one and only tour. His wife had just had a baby and he was only weeks away from getting out of that hell to be with his family. He had a good job lined up, courtesy of her father, and they were going house hunting just as soon as he made it back. He had everything in front of him and the worst hell he would ever face almost behind him.” Pausing, he tightened his grip on her, as if looking for comfort. “Ellie . . . you have to understand how things were there. You learn to harden yourself to the stuff you see. Sometimes you lose the part that makes you human. On the worst days, we saw men and women just blow themselves to pieces for a chance to inflict some damage on us. Worse yet were the faces of all of the kids. Some visibly hurt and wandering around without parents. Some starving, but still so damn happy they would smile at you. Every time I thought I couldn’t be shocked anymore, something would happen to just fucking slay me. You learn though to push it away. You focus on the job because that’s all that keeps you sane. Sometimes I’d work for days at a time just to keep from sleeping because the dead always found me then. You can run like hell, but you can’t escape your dreams.”

Ella pushed her fist against her mouth, trying to hold back her sobs at the despair she heard in his voice. She wanted to take him in her arms and hold him until the horrors that still haunted him were pushed away. Instead, she listened quietly as he continued to talk, almost like he had forgotten she was there. Once the words started, he couldn’t seem to stop the flow. Had he ever talked to anyone about all of this before?

“You start to see death as part of a daily routine. Just another nameless face. Some of the guys would even joke about it. It wasn’t that they were heartless; it was just how they coped with something that no one should ever have to see. Mainly, I suspect, they laughed to keep from breaking down and crying. There were some good days too. We were a brotherhood, and we always will be. There wasn’t a man in our group who wouldn’t take a bullet for one of his brothers, still would. Weeks of good days though could be blown all to hell by one bad day. A bad day there meant someone was dead.” As if remembering her presence, he looked down saying, “This may be more than you wanted to hear, Ellie . . . why don’t we just leave it for another time?”

Ella wasn’t about to let go now that she was finally getting some insight into his past. She ran a hand down his handsome face, feeling the stubble that was already forming there. Somehow that just made him more appealing. Her hand continued on to his biceps tracing the tattoo there. “What does Semper Fi mean?”

With a husky voice he answered, “Always faithful. Pretty damn ironic isn’t it considering I just found out I’ve got a kid from a one-night-stand.”

“I think it fits you perfectly. The women who passed through your life probably weren’t looking for a commitment any more than you were. Did you ever make any type of promises to them at all?”

Shaking his head, he said, “No, never. I was always very upfront.”

“Then stop ripping yourself to shreds over it. Because of who you are, it bothers you. You use it as a reason to question your integrity. I bet those in your brotherhood would say different. I . . . I want to hear the rest of the story if you can. I think you need to tell me about Craig because it’s tearing you apart.” When he started to shake his head, she added, “Please, for me.”

He sighed and continued. “Craig was just a kid. He decided to join the military to have his schooling paid for. He didn’t come from money and he was engaged to a girl that did. He wanted to prove himself to her and her family and he thought the military would do that. Hell, maybe he watched one too many recruiting commercials, who knows. He was just so young and idealistic. They got married right before he shipped out and he rode that high for a while. He got pretty lucky and didn’t see active duty until the last part of his term. His wife had gotten pregnant during one of his trips home and he was on top of the world. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and he thought he could handle anything thrown his way at that point. A lot of the guys were on their second tour like me and we were just used to turning away and shutting down when things got bad.”

“But not Craig,” Ella said softly.

“No, not Craig,” Declan agreed. “He wanted to save everyone. We all covered him as best we could. It was understood if Craig was with you, you looked out for him. We were all pretty battle weary, but damn we all got attached to him. No matter what everyone said to the contrary, when he started reading letters from home, we stopped to listen. Having someone so full of life was contagious. There was no jealousy that his tour was almost up. We were all excited for him. My favorite saying each day was, ‘Watch each other’s back and don’t do anything stupid.’ Craig used to tease me about how motivating my speeches were. I’d flip him off and he’d just laugh. You’d have liked him, Ellie.”

She smiled, “I know I would have.”

“One day we were patrolling the border. A task we had all done many times before. It was pretty routine. We had a local woman come through. Everything was in order so she passed on through. A few feet later, she stopped her car and got out. My gut clenched when she looked around like she was checking our positions. She fell against her car as if in pain. I knew something was wrong. After you had been there a while, you tended to develop a second sense where trouble was concerned. I started motioning everyone back, indicating possible trouble. I turned to say something to Craig who had been right beside me and he wasn’t there. We all saw him run toward the woman at the same time and it was like everyone froze for a moment in horror. I started yelling at him to stop, that it was a trap and, I swear, he turned back to me and smiled as if I was overreacting. I remember running toward him and then the world just broke apart. I was in the hospital for a few weeks with a pretty bad head injury and a few broken bones. I was lucky though, Craig went home in a casket.”

“Oh God,” Ella gasped.

In a voice thick with emotion, Declan said, “I couldn’t save him. He was on my watch and I let him down. I cost him his fucking life.”

Wrapping herself around him, she said, “No baby, you didn’t. He made that choice. I know you well enough to be sure that you had lectured him time and again about the dangers there.”

Turning haunted eyes on her he rasped, “It wasn’t enough Ellie. Now there is a wife without a husband and a child without a father. If I had only been sharper, faster, I could have saved him. I should have never let him out of my line of sight!”

“Declan, stop! You can’t shoulder the blame for what happened. Craig joined the military knowing the risks just like you did. It sounds like he had a huge heart and wanted to save everyone regardless of the risk to himself. Don’t take that away from him. He probably saw things daily that shook his faith in the world, but he still hung on to his humanity, his basic need to believe that people are good and worth saving. Even though it was a trap, let his last act of selflessness and bravery stand in honor of him. There had to have been a split second when he questioned his actions, but his need to be who he was eclipsed all rational thought.” Running her hand through his hair and caressing his scalp, she asked, “What happened after that?”

On a laugh that held very little humor he said, “I took his place as the loose cannon. I lost my fucking mind for a while. I took stupid risks and put myself on the front line at every opportunity. If it hadn’t been for Mac saving my ass a few times, I probably wouldn’t have made it home. I had planned to be career military, but as the time drew near to re-up, Mac sat me down and told me that not only had I become a liability to myself, I was to the rest of the group as well. Suddenly, I knew how Craig must have felt having all of us watching him like a hawk. Even though I said some pretty nasty things to Mac, it forced me to take a long, hard look at where I was and where I was headed and for the first time since I had enlisted, I was scared. Not of the enemy though, but of myself. Mac was right, it was time to go. I couldn’t live through another person dying on my watch or worse yet, being the cause of it.”

Curious, she asked, “Who’s Mac? Is he still in the military?”

With his first genuine smile since they had started talking, he said, “His name is actually McKinley Powers. Sounds like a real prick, right?”

Smiling at the obvious affection in his voice, she said, “I think it’s a great name.”

“Mac left when I did. We enlisted together. Just a couple of hotheaded, hell-raisers looking for a purpose. Lucky or unlucky enough, depending on how you look at it, to get shipped off together. I think he only re-upped for his second tour because he hated to leave me behind. I think he would have left at the end of the second one though even if he had to bodily force me out along with him. He does private security in this area now. Danvers is one of his clients.”

“Hmmm, have I met him?”

“I doubt it, Ellie, unless you’ve done something to get you arrested and escorted from the building. Mac isn’t there much unless there is a problem. His company has grown and he stays pretty busy. We manage to catch a beer sometimes though, plus he drops in to check on Ava from time to time.”

“Your sister?”

“Yep, that would be her.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you two don’t look anything alike. She’s so pretty, but quiet. Oh, shit! I mean shoot. I didn’t mean that you’re not pretty. I mean not pretty, handsome. You are handsome and sexy . . . I just meant, you look different. I—”

Declan clamped his hand over her mouth as she continued to rattle on. “Ellie, babe, I know what you’re trying to say so relax. I’m nothing like either one of my siblings and I readily accept that. Every family needs a black sheep and I’m it for the Stone family. Ava is quiet. She wasn’t always, but shit happened. Mac was there for her and he still is.”

“What—” Suddenly the air left her lungs in a whoosh as Declan flipped her backwards and eyed her naked body. She had completely forgotten about clothes when she was roused from sleep. She knew she should be embarrassed, but the look in his eyes made her feel bold and sexy. When he continued to inspect her body without touching her, she took his hand and placed it on one aching nipple. His eyes widened and grew heavy.

“I like where your head’s at, Ellie, but before I touch you any further, show me what you like.” He removed his hand and left hers cupping her breast. Part of her wanted to remove her hand and run, but the other part was spellbound by the arousal that he couldn’t hide. His cock stood at attention as he sat riveted by the sight of her shy hand moving slowly back up to rub her nipple back and forth between her fingers. Heat shot through her body. She knew this had started with him trying to distract her from asking any more questions, and it had worked well. She now had no rational thought left. Like most single women, she had long ago learned how to take care of her own needs. But, she had never dreamed she would be touching herself while someone was watching. Boy, it felt so good to be a bit of a bad girl.

She continued to pull on her nipple as she shyly asked him, “What next?”

Declan sat back on his heels saying, “You tell me, baby. Better yet show me how you make yourself come.”

Feeling her face flush a bright red, she stuttered, “I . . . um—”

“Close your eyes and pretend I’m not here. Touch that beautiful body and let me see you fall apart.”

* * *

Was he having chest pains? Possibly a stroke? The veins in his neck bulged along with another part of his body as he watched Ella tentatively begin to stroke herself. He was surprised that she had agreed. He had fully expected to spend some time convincing her. Now as her breathing and her hands picked up the pace, it was obvious that she knew her needs well. Her hands didn’t falter after the initial hesitation. She had pleasured herself before. His cock jumped as he imagined her doing it while thinking of him. God knows he had jacked off enough while thinking of her.

When her small hand slowly lowered to her glistening core, he started to pant like a dog. Would she do it? Touch herself there with him watching? Come on baby, slide your finger into that sweet spot and show me how you like it. Oh holy mother, there it is. Jesus! The low moan that slipped from her throat was almost his undoing. He desperately wanted to see her bring herself to orgasm, but keeping his body reined in was becoming harder and harder. One of her hands was expertly flicking her clit while the other was rubbing her nipple into a hard nub. He could see by her face that she was so caught up in the moment, she had forgotten his presence. Well, he was about to change that.

He still wanted her to finish what she had started, but there wasn’t anything wrong with a little help was there? Unable to resist, he quietly moved to a position near her spread legs and leaned forward to plunge a finger into her wet, swollen folds. Her eyes popped open and her hand froze as she registered his penetration. Locking eyes with her, he whispered, “Keep going, baby. I want to feel you come around my finger.”

She whimpered as he withdrew his finger and then buried it back inside of her. Her hips lifted to meet his thrusts and her hand resumed its previous rhythm. He added another finger and worked them in and out of her tight passage. The urge to join her in stroking her clit was strong, but he was determined to let her finish what she had started so he concentrated all of his attention on plunging in and out of her wet heat. He alternated between going in fast and hard, and teasing her with just the tips of his fingers. When the motion of her hips grew more frantic and her breathing more rapid, he knew she was on the edge. One hard stroke from him and she would go over. Still, even as sweat dribbled down his back, he continued to tease her with shallow penetrations. “Tell me what you want, Ellie.”

“Faster!” She moaned.

Trailing his fingers leisurely around her now drenched mound, he asked, “What do you want fast?”

“Your fingers!” she screamed in frustration.

Declan smiled as he asked her one last question. “What do you want me to do with my fingers, Ellie, baby?”

“Fuck me hard with them, now!”

Declan was impressed. Any woman who could shout a demand like that deserved everything she asked for. The fact that she threw in the F-word turned him on even more. He pushed three fingers into her in rapid succession and pushed her over the edge. She moaned and thrashed as her body convulsed. His body on the other hand was screaming for release and he had held it in check for as long as he could. He removed his fingers and, with the ripples of her orgasm still shuddering through her body, he mounted her and thrust his cock deep inside. She almost came off the bed as they both gasped in pleasure.

Grabbing her ankles, he put them on his shoulders and sank even deeper inside of her. She was so hot and wet that his cock felt like it was on fire. “Grab your tits, baby, and stroke them for me.” Without questioning his command, she tugged on her erect nipples and threw her head back in ecstasy.

“Declannn, don’t stop!” That was one demand she didn’t need to make. His damn dick was about to explode. He’d probably die of blue balls if he even attempted to pull out now. He pounded into her, trying to hold back his release until he knew she was close to hers. He gripped her waist to pull her closer against his cock, grinding against her clit. As her moans got louder and quicker, he knew she was starting to crest. Her pussy was starting to convulse, trying to milk everything he had. With a harsh shout, he went balls deep over and over, causing the breasts that she was still cupping to jiggle as they found their release together.

His heart was hammering and his head was swimming as he collapsed on the bed beside her. She lay beside him panting just as hard. He hoped to God he hadn’t hurt her. It was hard to remember that she was basically innocent when she responded with such abandon. For the first time with her, he hadn’t held back at all. This had been raw and wild. He had fucked her hard and she had chased the peak with him every step of the way. Gone was his sweet, timid Ella. In her place was a woman who made his dick twitch in renewed interest just minutes after coming harder than he could ever remember. What was it about her? Was it that mix between innocent and wanton? He was beginning to realize that there were a lot more sides to her than he could have ever imagined.

She had been so damn sweet when he told her about Craig. It was hard to believe how much his life had changed in the last few weeks. He was actually involved with a woman. He couldn’t kid himself about Ella—she was different from any other woman he had been with. If she wasn’t, she’d have already been gone. For her, he had broken all his rules. She had not only slept over one night, she slept over most every night, and he liked it that way. He even fucking cuddled with her. She was the first person he had wanted to tell when he found out about Evan. Hell, Brant and Ava still didn’t know and he was in no hurry to tell them. He didn’t want to hurt her though and he knew that no matter how hard he tried, that was going to happen when whatever this was between them was over. He knew he would miss her friendship most of all should the ending go badly, but he wasn’t fool enough to think he could handle sharing his space for long. It just wasn’t in him, no matter how attached he had become in such a short time. Unlike the women who had come before her though, some part of him would always care about her. Maybe too damn much.