Текст книги "Fighting For You"
Автор книги: Sydney Landon
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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 15 страниц)
Chapter Seventeen
Let me get this straight, Ava said, “You’ve got a kid now and a girlfriend?”
Beside her, Declan’s friend, Mac, chuckled, “Yeah, I’m still having troubling processing the girlfriend part. The kid thing freaks me out.”
Always the most serious one of the group, Brant pinched the bridge of his nose. “When were you planning on telling your family about this? I had to hear it from Gray? He was pretty horrified when he figured out that I didn’t know.”
Of course, Declan should have known when he opened the door to find the three of them standing there that no good could come from it. He was just glad that Ella was staying with Beth tonight while Nick was out of town. They would have been on her like stink on shit. “Was I supposed to Facebook message you or something? Maybe a memo? Give me a break, it’s not like I’ve known that long and we aren’t exactly the type of family from a Norman Rockwell painting.”
“Declan,” Ava snapped, “can we skip all the sarcastic humor and get to what is going on?”
He bit back a reply knowing Mac would probably kick his ass if he hurt Ava. Talk about a complicated relationship. Mac had been in love with his sister for as long as he could remember. He thought at one time back when they were teenagers that eventually Ava would finally admit that she felt the same way. Unfortunately, some bastard had taken her innocence in the most heinous way possible and now it was a toss-up as to which sibling was the most fucked up. Mac had taken care of her that night, as he always had, and he knew that even though his friend was no monk, Ava would always be it for him.
“I recently found out that I have a six-year-old son. His mother and I had a one-night stand when I was in town one weekend. We recently ran into each other at Danvers. Apparently, she is a friend of Claire’s. I would appreciate you all holding your ‘I told you so,’ if you can manage it.”
“Shit, Dec,” Brant groaned, “I thought you said you were always careful.”
“Well, obviously I had more alcohol than sense that night.”
“How do you know you can trust what this woman says?” Mac asked.
“We’ve already had a paternity test. Evan is my child.”
Brant ran a hand through his hair looking even more stressed. “Does he know, the boy?”
“Yeah, he’s pretty cool with everything. He spent the night with Ella and me over the weekend.”
Looking incredulous, Ava said, “You’re really serious about this woman, aren’t you?”
Declan squirmed, feeling more uncomfortable about this topic of conversation than he had about Evan. “Yeah, I am. She’s different for me. Hell, she’d probably be different for anyone. But don’t start freaking out. I still don’t do the long-term commitment thing with women.”
“She’s beautiful,” Mac offered. “I’ve seen her around the office when I’ve visited.”
“Yeah I bet,” Declan growled. Mac just smiled at him and he suspected he had stepped neatly into a trap on that one.
Surprising them all, Ava said, “I’d like for all of us to go out to dinner one night. As far as I know, she’s the only woman you’ve ever been with for more than a week so she must be something. She knows you have a family so she probably wonders why you haven’t formally introduced us.”
“I met her at the beach,” Brant offered.
Mac grinned in agreement. “I’d like to meet her too.” That statement earned him a frown from both Ava and Declan.
“I would rather not do this whole charade of pretending we are a normal family. Ella and I aren’t getting married or anything, so you don’t need to bring her into our dysfunctional fold. That would probably just hasten her departure.” Giving them an evil smile he said, “I tell you what though. If you would like to meet Evan, I’m sure I could arrange something with his mother for a McDonald’s meet-and-greet.”
Brant wrinkled his nose. “McDonald’s? Why would we want to meet there? That’s strictly a kid place.”
“Guess what, Einstein,” Ava deadpanned, “Evan is a kid.”
“You know what I mean,” Brant argued, “it’s scary there without a kid to cover you.”
“Brant,” Mac sighed, “brother, we’ve got to get some blue collar into you somehow. Your grandfather had breakfast at Denny’s every morning for twenty years so I don’t know where you get these hang-ups about fast-food places.”
Ava smirked, “It’s because of his Irritable Bo—”
“Ava! For God’s sake, could you please keep it down? I don’t have that!”
Declan finally decided to take pity on them and invite them to come over next weekend. Evan was supposed to come by on Sunday for a few hours. He just needed to make sure Ella wasn’t there. He didn’t want his family to torture her. After a few more laughs, mostly at Brant’s expense, everyone headed for the door. Mac and Ava were the last to leave and he knew that Brant had intentionally moved swiftly to the elevator to give them some time alone. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to love someone like Mac loved Ava and never be able to have her. Declan knew she loved him in her own way, but it wasn’t the way that Mac deserved.
He shut the door behind them and got ready for bed. He was burnt out from too many sleepless nights. His nightmares reliving Craig’s death had almost stopped after he opened up to Ella, but the last week had seen a return of the dream with one heart-stopping change. Craig had been replaced by Ella. The first night he had had the dream, it had been so vivid, more real than any of the others. His beautiful Ella had landed at his feet in the dream, her eyes vacant, and her body lifeless. The only thing he was grateful for was that he hadn’t woken Ella up by screaming. Instead, he had been gasping for air, choking on his own bile. After assuring himself that she was still very much alive and lying next to him, he had been awake the rest of the night, almost afraid that something would happen to her if he shut his eyes.
The fight with her mother seemed to have kicked everything off. His first dream had been that night. He couldn’t help but acknowledge what his subconscious was trying to tell him. He didn’t think he was killing her by being around, but he damn sure was starting to question whether he was ruining her life by continuing this relationship. She had obviously been a loyal daughter before he had come along and blown her family dynamics all to hell. Was her mother bat-shit crazy, hell yeah, but was that his call to make?
He had let this relationship deepen with her almost against his will. She was just so easy to be with and damn hard to be without. He loved who he was and how he felt when he was with her. She cracked him up with her strange love of action movies. The woman masturbated in front of him with the confidence of a seasoned pro, but then in the next minute, her innocence brought him to his knees. He found it impossible to stay away from her during the day at the office. If he had an extra five minutes, he went by to see her even if he barely had time to make it there and back to his office. She calmed his rage, buffered his guilt and soothed his soul. She made every breath that he took sweeter.
For all that she did for him, what exactly did he do for her? What had Ella gotten out of this relationship besides a war with her mother? To top it off, he had turned into a single father almost overnight. Evan was a great kid and, while he learned how to be a father, he would probably forgive him for screwing up his role in his life. How about Ella though? Could she forgive him for screwing up her life? Things never went well for the people in his life that he cared about—his parents, his grandfather, Ava, Craig. The list seemed endless and his gut twisted as he thought about Ella being added to that list.
In typical guy fashion, this would be the point where he started putting some distance between them. Maybe force himself to stop seeking her out during the day. Make some excuses not to see her at night. Stop taking and returning calls. Just the typical asshole behavior his sex had perfected. With all that had happened in his life lately, she probably wouldn’t even hate him over it.
God, he couldn’t have her wondering what was going on. He owed it to her to shoot straight. If he wanted to end their relationship, he was going to have to man up and officially end it. She had done nothing to cause a break-up and he had done everything. He had to let her go before things got worse. He cared about her too much to let this continue, knowing he could never give her what she needed. He’d already taken her virginity, something he had no right to do. But he was just selfish enough to want the rest of the week with her before it was over. He needed to store up enough memories to get him through the bleak days ahead without her. In the end though, he would be saving her, something he wished he had been able to do for Craig.
* * *
Another night of seeing Ella die before his eyes while he slept had him restless and about to crawl out of his skin. When the doorbell rang at six a.m., he could only figure that the person on the other side had a death wish. When he swung the door open to find a smiling Ella before him, looking young and beautiful in a green dress and sandals, he felt his bad mood start to slide. How could you be pissed with something so damn perfect standing in front of you. He could feel his resolve starting to falter as he grabbed her hand to pull her inside.
“I just left Beth’s and thought you might like some bagels, so I—”
That was as far as she got before he hauled her into his arms and his mouth came crashing down on hers. He heard the bag hit the floor with a thud as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her curves against him. Within moments, her dress was down at her waist and her panties were torn and sliding down her legs. When his hand found her sex he groaned. “Ellie, you’re so wet. Wrap your legs around me, baby, I need to fuck you. He lowered the waist of his jogging shorts, freeing his cock. She let out a wild moan as he positioned himself at her entrance, rubbing back and forth in her warm heat. Unable to hold out another moment, he surged forward, burying his length in her.
“Declan, mmmm, feels so good.”
The sound of her voice seemed to break the last shreds of his control and his hips pounded forward. She locked her ankles behind him, lifting her hips to meet him thrust for thrust. He leaned down to take one nipple into his mouth, nipping the tip sharply. He felt her body shudder at the small bite of pain mixed with pleasure. He went wild when she repeated the move on his nipple. Feeling those small teeth against his nub, sent him off into orbit. He set a relentless pace and she was with him every step of the way.
“I can’t hold back any longer baby.” That was all it took to push her off the end along with him. Their shouts of completion filled the apartment. Anyone unfortunate enough to be walking down the hall at that moment would get more than they bargained for.
Too weak to stand for much longer, he staggered back until he felt the couch against his knees. He collapsed on a soft cushion and Ella sprawled on top of him. When they had both caught their breath, she pulled back giving him an impish grin. “I guess this means you’ll take me to the new Expendables movie? It’s got everyone in it, including Jason Statham. I just loved him in all of the Transporter movies.” Feeling his chest shake, she pulled back wrinkling her nose in an adorable fashion that was all Ella. “What?”
“You know you make my dick hard when you start talking about stuff like that. Your bad-girl side is so damn hot, Ellie.”
She gave him a grin, slowly swiveling her hips against his ever-growing erection. “You like bad girls, Mr. Stone?”
Pulling her hips down and grinding against her clit, he growled, “You bet your sweet ass I do, as long as they are you.” Her laugh turned into a moan as he bucked upwards, sliding deeper into her hot depths. Declan knew it would be a miracle if they made it to work on time now. But how could he be expected to walk away from the beautiful woman riding him now with such abandon? Impossible.
Chapter Eighteen
“Alright, where did you go?”
Ella knew she must be giving Beth a blank look but she had no idea what she was talking about. Beth rolled her eyes, “That’s about the third time you’ve zoned out on me. I even told you my vagina was on fire and you didn’t even blink.”
Ella felt herself blush. She was supposed to be helping Beth with her wedding plans, but instead she was obsessing over Declan. “Do you think it’s weird that Declan didn’t invite me to meet his family today? Evan was spending the day with him at his place and Brant and Ava were coming over to meet him.”
Beth dropped the bridal magazine she had been holding in her lap. “Oh honey, I don’t think so. You know how weird men are.”
“You met Nick’s parents really early on didn’t you?”
“Well sure, but they are also Gray’s parents so it was kind of hard not to and, heck, those two are more like buddies than parents.”
“I know it’s silly,” Ella signed, “but he acted almost guilty about it, like he was intentionally keeping me away. We went to dinner and a movie last night. We went back to my place, which usually leads to . . . well, you know. Instead, I got a kiss, just one, and then he focused on some point past my shoulder and told me he had to get going because he had an early morning since Evan was coming over for the day. We had been talking about taking him to the zoo. When I mentioned that, he got all shifty, and mumbled something about his family coming by to meet Evan instead. Then he actually said, ‘See ya, babe.’”
Nick must have caught the last line as he came into the room, because he quickly started to back out. “Whoa, where are you going?” Beth asked.
“Anywhere but here. This sounds like a conversation I could lose my guy card over.”
Beth rolled her eyes and waved him back in the room. “Just answer a question and we’ll let you off the hook. When do men usually introduce the woman they are dating to their family?”
“Like never,” Nick deadpanned, “Unless they are thinking long-term. I mean really long-term here. In dating, your family is the Holy Grail and you don’t let anyone make that trip until they are worth it.”
Ella felt her bottom lip tremble. “So, I’m not good enough for the Holy Grail? I’m not a long-termer.”
Beth shot Nick a dirty look. “Oh, shit,” he moaned. “I knew I shouldn’t have stayed in the room. Why couldn’t you just let me leave?” To Ella he said, “I didn’t mean you. I was a bastard when I was single, so you can’t go by anything I say. I’m sure Declan doesn’t think you’re a short termer. You probably have weeks or even months left together.”
“Oh my God,” Beth groaned. “Please just stop and go away.” Nick took off at a fast clip, obviously relieved to be dismissed before things got worse. “Ella, honey, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. That was just his off-base opinion. I’ve seen the way Declan is with you and he isn’t just sleeping with you. He cares about you a lot. He probably thought that it would be uncomfortable for you to meet his family. He doesn’t know how they’re going to react to meeting Evan.”
She gave Beth a weak smile of reassurance. “That’s probably it. I’m sure I’m just making too much out of it.” She didn’t believe what she was saying any more than Beth was probably buying it, but at this point she knew that her friend had enough on her mind without worrying about her love life. If Declan didn’t want her to meet his family, she couldn’t exactly blame him. Look at how well both meetings with her family had gone. She should just count herself lucky. If another person besides her mother called them fornicators, she wasn’t sure she could take it.
* * *
“Where’s your girl?” Mac asked.
Declan knew it was useless to play dumb with one of his oldest friends. Mac could read him like a book. He had arrived ahead of the others and they were sitting on the deck outside, while Evan played with his toys in the doorway. “I thought I would spare her from this painful family hour today.”
Mac tapped his thumb against his thigh, looking off into the distance. “I see. I was surprised to hear you had gotten involved with someone. It isn’t your usual MO.”
“No, it’s not,” he admitted. “It just happened before I realized it.”
“So where do you think it’s headed?”
Declan shot him a look of surprise. “Nowhere, you know that. Just because we’ve been together more than one night doesn’t mean I’m picking out china patterns. I’m not settling down, and Ella damn well deserves better than some fucked-up mess like me.”
“Don’t you think that’s her call?”
“What about you?” Declan snapped, “I don’t see you making any life-changing decisions. How many years are you going to waste, hung up on my sister?” Declan sat back and waited for Mac to explode. Usually anything to do with Ava was a sure trigger with him.
Instead, Mac settled back in his chair and took a moment before replying. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not exactly a great example, but at least it’s not from lack of trying. I’ve loved Ava since we were kids and I know she loves me in her own way. Sometimes it’s just not enough. I’ve . . . been thinking of moving on with my life. I’m not getting any younger.” Pointing to Evan, he added, “and I wouldn’t mind having one of those at some point.”
Surprised, Declan said, “That was about the last thing I expected to hear from you. I never thought you’d throw in the towel there. Maybe you should talk to her before you do that.”
Giving him a sad smile, Mac said, “Why? For years she’s kept me—and every other man—at arm’s length. She’s . . . well, she’s like you, Dec. She has sex with a guy, and then moves on. She doesn’t do it near as often as you, but it never happens more than once.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
Smirking, Mac said, “Come on, I run a security company. You should know I’ve kept a tail on her for years. I hate like hell to read those reports sometimes, but I won’t let anyone else hurt her, man, I can’t. Even if I hadn’t promised your grandfather to watch over her, I would have anyway. She’ll always be mine, even when I move on.”
Declan tipped his beer back before replying. “Is there anyone normal among us? I guess Brant is about it, even though he’s as strange as they come.”
Mac grimaced. “Boy, that’s just sad isn’t it? So what about you? When will you finally move on?”
“I don’t have anything to move on from. No long lost loves or anything.”
“Dec, give me some credit for knowing more about you than the average person you bullshit. You may not have an Ava in your past, but you damn sure have a Craig, which is probably worse. When are you going to deal with all that baggage and move forward? You know he wouldn’t want this for you.”
“I’m fine. I was the way I am years before Craig came along.”
“You might have had some of the usual issues, but Craig changed you. We were all there, Dec, and everyone hated it like hell. You just took everyone’s guilt though and carried it. Nothing you could have done would have saved him. If it hadn’t been that day, then it would have been another one.”
Declan jumped to his feet which made Evan give him an uneasy look. He gave him a reassuring smile before lowering his voice. “Craig had a family waiting for him. I promised I would get him back home to his wife, and I failed her and him. How am I supposed to move on with my life when I ruined someone else’s?”
“You need to go see Amy.”
“Amy? As in Craig’s Amy?
Nodding, Mac said, “Yeah. I still check on her and the kid on a regular basis. They’re both doing really well. She went back to school and finished her teaching degree and now she teaches kindergarten. She asks about you every time we talk. She really appreciates the money you sent them.”
Declan stared off into space, thinking of the woman and child that he barely knew. Craig had wanted them to have their own place and not have to depend on her father. It had been important to Declan to make sure that dream came true for Amy after Craig died. “She doesn’t want to see me. She probably hates my guts.”
“You’re the only one who feels that way, bro. I . . . actually, Amy is going to be up here on vacation next month and she asked if we could all get together while she’s here. She wants us to meet Renee, their daughter.”
Even as he shook his head, almost in a panic, Mac was saying, “Just think about it. You don’t have to decide right now, but you need this. You need the closure.”
“Yeah, that’s what my shrink says.”
Mac gave him a look of surprise. “You’re seeing a therapist? Shit, when did this happen?”
Nodding towards Evan he said, “About that time that he and Ella came into my life. I can’t keep losing my fucking mind in the middle of the night with one or both of them around. I was scared I could hurt someone without even waking up. I hurt Ella once when she tried to wake me up during one. I . . . I can’t risk that. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention this to anyone else, especially her. I need to tell her in my own time.”
“You know I won’t, man. This might sound a bit paternal, but I’m proud of you. I know this is a big step.”
He had never been so grateful to hear his brother’s voice as he called out to them from within the apartment. No, his family never did anything normal like knock, but this was one time he wasn’t going to bust Brant’s balls over it.
As he walked past Mac, he heard him quietly say, “Promise me you’ll think about seeing Amy.” He nodded his head briefly as he walked away. Just thinking about what Mac was asking filled him with an unreasonable fear even though his therapist, like Mac, had tried to convince him that it would be good for him. He was terrified of seeing the look of hate that would surely fill Amy’s eyes.
