Текст книги "Always Enough"

Автор книги: Stacy Borel

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 10 страниц)

She looked shocked. “How do you know I watched you play football?”

I raised my eyebrow at her and said, “Harper, you really don’t think you got away with hiding under the bleachers during the games, even after you’d said you weren’t coming, did you? Or when I’d catch you sitting in your car across the field from my house while Finn and I were throwing the ball … unless you were there to watch Finn?”

I was teasing and her cheeks held a tint of pink. She looked down and fidgeted with her hands in her lap.

“I didn’t know you’d seen me. How come you never said anything?”

“Because you didn’t want me to see you, and if you did, you would have stopped coming.”

She looked back up at me and we stared at each other for several moments before someone cleared their throat.

“Uhhh … yeah, I think we’ll just go in the other room and leave you two alone.”

It was Lincoln that spoke. Obviously Harper and I had forgotten that we weren’t alone. Her cheeks flushed slightly pink again and she gave a small smile. Since when had my Harper become easily embarrassed?

Still looking at her I spoke to the guys, “Nah, that’s okay, we need to get back to our room. We’ll catch you all later.”

Harper stood up and said goodbye to all of them, telling them it was nice meeting them. Levi chimed in and asked if I was bringing Harper with me to his party.

“Party?” Harper looked at us questioningly.

“Yeah, Levi’s birthday is in a few days and he’s rented out a full floor of an exclusive club in Manhattan. Although, I’m not sure if you’ll want to come with us, it’s going to be pretty much all guys, and the club is well … uhhh … just not the type you find other females in.” I said.

“So what you’re saying is that it’s a strip club?”

I’d been to several strip clubs before but for some reason, admitting to Harper that it was that kind of club was sort of embarrassing. Plus I didn’t want her thinking that I was into that kind of thing. My eyes were for her and her alone. No one could ever compare to her.

“Actually,” Levi interjected, “it’s a gentlemen’s club.”

She snickered. “There’s a difference?”

“Hell yeah, there’s a difference. Strip clubs are for men who are missing their teeth, and women who need someone to be their baby-daddy. A gentlemen’s club,” he used air-quotes to emphasize the term, “is for business men looking for a calm evening and something gorgeous to look at. The women there are educated, and aren’t working to pay their way through college.”

Harper burst out laughing. “That’s a really fucked up description. Do the women get naked at the gentlemen’s club?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then it’s a strip club,” she replied, leaving no room for argument.

Levi looked frustrated, but the rest of the guys were amused.

“Time to go, feisty girl … before Levi tries to tell you that the girls’ tits are real, and that they’re dancing because they like the music,” I said.

We got up and left the room and went back to our suite to settle in for the night.

“The guys really seem to like you.” I grinned at her.

“You sound surprised?” Her tone is playful.

“No, I knew you’d charm them. I’m just glad they all like you.”

We were standing by the door to her bedroom, when she looked up at me through her long thick brown lashes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in the same bed as me?” She asked so seductively that I felt my dick twitch, and I had to question my reasons for not being in the same bed with her.

Feeling the need to be honest with her I said, “No, I’m not sure. I want you, Harper. I will always want you … but I need it to happen this way.”

She leaned in ever so slightly and I felt the draw to her. She put her hand up and around my neck, pulling me down to her incredible mouth. Her soft lips parted and I felt her tongue brush my bottom lip. I opened my mouth, accepting her in as we kissed and tasted each other. I needed to pull away before things got too heated. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself if they did, that was something I was certain of.

“You’re tempting me,” I said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Maybe, but you’re obviously resigned to going along with this little … test of wills. That’s fine,” she said, before she kissed me on the lips one more time and moved out of my arms.

Before she walked into her room, she turned and smiled at me.

“Good night, Ky.”

“Night, beautiful.”

She went in her room and shut her door. I ran my hands through my hair and gave it a frustrated tug. Time for me to take a cold shower and have a chat with the Behemoth. I’d never last the week with her kissing me like that.

“Grandma, where’s Daddy?” I came in to the cool air-conditioned house after riding my bike outside. California is always hot during the summer.

“He’s in his bedroom, baby. But I think he’s already asleep.” Grandma has weary eyes.

Daddy has been living with my Grandma and Grandpa since Mommy made him leave. I spend a lot of time at Grandma’s house because my Mommy has to work a lot and Grandma runs a daycare in her home, so Mommy lets me come here all of the time. I don’t see my Daddy much though. He’s always gone with his friends. But when he does come back, he always walks back to his room, and shuts the door.

“Can I go lay down with him, Grandma?” I ask.

“Sure, just don’t wake him up. You know how he gets mad.”

I walk down the hall towards my dad’s bedroom, passing all of the family photos that line the walls. There are a few pictures of me from school, a photo of my grandparents together, and pictures of Daddy when he was younger. He looked different then. Now he looks skinnier, and tired.

I slowly open the door to the bedroom and walk into the dark space. It is lit by the small television that is playing a National Geographic show talking about venomous snakes. Daddy is lying on the bed face down on his pillow, already asleep. Creeping in, I silently slip my shoes off beside the bed and climb up, trying not to jostle him. There’s an extra pillow next to him so I put it under my head and lay down beside him. The television is turned all the way down so I can’t hear it, but I lie there watching the snakes move across the screen, until I fall asleep …

I open my eyes after my short nap to a darkened room. The TV is still on and it’s bright enough for me to turn over and see that Daddy is no longer in bed with me. I can’t help the tear that escapes my eyes and hiccup that comes from my chest. Daddy always leaves me. He never wakes me to say he has to go. I’m sad, and all alone …

I sat up abruptly. The sun shone brightly into the room, and I squinted against the onslaught of light. My head hurt. I hadn’t had that particular dream in years. Why I was having it now, when I hadn’t thought about it in such a long time?

I needed to take a shower and go out to see if Ky was awake yet. I was a little surprised that I hadn’t woken up with him beside me. I’d sort of hoped he’d sneak in to sleep with me. Shaking off the disappointment, I got out of bed, took a quick shower, and dressed in black leggings matched with a peach, lace tunic. My hair hung over my shoulder in long subtle waves, and I slipped on a pair of knee length boots.

Walking out into the living room, the smell of coffee permeated the air. The table was set with orange juice, coffee, and a bagel with cream cheese—my favorite. Ky was sitting behind The New York Times, but moved it down to see me. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at him. He was shirtless, his hair still wet from the shower. My mouth started watering, and my nether regions clenched. Ky was beautiful.

“You look hungry.” He paused. “Except with the way you’re looking at me I don’t think you’re hungry for food.” His mouth tipped up into a sexy smirk.

He had me pegged. He certainly would be more appetizing than the bagel, but I would maintain the upper hand here. After yesterday’s incident against the wall, I was determined to prove that he wanted me more than I wanted him.

“Keep dreaming, asshat. I’m craving the coffee, not you.”

He chuckled. “There’s my girl. I missed that term of endearment.”

I rolled my eyes and made my way over to the table. Taking a big long sip of the piping hot coffee, I devoured the bagel he’d so kindly prepared for me.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked.

Not wanting to talk about the dream that had rocked me awake, I answered with a simple, “Good.”

“So what time are we getting started on this sightseeing tour?”

“As soon as we’re done with breakfast, we can take off. I just need to go put a shirt on,” Ky said as he stood up from the table.

“Or don’t,” I dared him.

“Don’t start with me, woman. We have a long day ahead of us, and I’m already struggling here. You look good enough to eat. And stop giving me that smile.”

I laughed and licked my lips, enjoying watching his eyes dart down to my mouth. Oh yes, I was still in control.

Thirty minutes later we headed out, taking a cab to Castle Clinton to get tickets for the ferry to the Statue of Liberty. I had to admit I was really excited to see the sights of the city. I was certain that everyone had to experience New York City at least once in their lifetime. What made my time here even better was that I was doing it with Ky. When the cabbie dropped us off, we boarded the ferry and floated our way to one of the US’s most popular sights. And what a sight it was. Its beauty, and the history behind it, flabbergasted me. Ky had booked us a guided tour and I soaked in everything that was said.

On the boat ride back, I leaned up against the edge of the boat deck, enjoying the cooler fall air and watching the New York skyline draw closer with every wave. I was relaxed and having a great time when Ky came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I took a deep calming breath and sank into his embrace. It felt nice, and almost … normal. I was so happy in this moment that I could actually picture myself with Ky for the long haul. I knew he could make me happy, and building a future with him could be something wonderful, but I just didn’t know if I could do it while he was on tour. The fans—and the girls that would be begging for his attention—was something I wasn’t sure I could handle. Even if I could manage to take the leap and be with him for real, I swear I’d cut a bitch if he was groped, manhandled, propositioned, or kissed. For this to work, he would have to be mine. I didn’t share. This didn’t even have anything to do with my issues that surrounded my father, and my fear that he’d leave me, it was me being female. I was a naturally a jealous person, and I’d stake my claim.

The daddy-issues were a whole other problem. Before talking with Em, I hadn’t realized just how much the trauma of what my father did had affected the way that I lived my life. He was never there for me. I had plenty of other family members that supported me throughout my life, but I had to learn at an early age what drugs and promiscuity did to a family. Like in my dream, even when my father would come back around he was still never there, and he would always leave me to pick up the pieces whenever he upped and left again. I’d always wanted my father to play the role that he was supposed to.

When I looked at Ky, I knew he would never be that kind of person to me. He wasn’t the kind of man to lead me on, only to crush me and leave me in the end. And I had to remember that Ky had never touched drugs, or had an alcohol problem, like my father did. That was the catalyst that ruined my parents’ relationship. But I knew that Ky loved me and would be there for me. My heart felt it, but was I capable of believing it?

The ferry moored up to the pier and we got off. Jumping into our second cab of the day, Ky told the man to take us to MetLife Stadium. The Giants game was starting soon. When we arrived, we were escorted up to the suite to have dinner, and watch the game. As a realtor, I’d seen plenty of beautiful houses but this was impressive, and not just because the room was beautiful, but because the service was impeccable as well. I’ve always enjoyed the finer things life has to offer, and this room gave me exactly that. The room had a floor-to-ceiling glass window that looked out over the stadium. The walls were painted in a neutral color with several tables situated along them. Trays of food with sandwiches, cheeses, cookies, and cakes covered the first table. The second table had two plates with chicken marsala and wine. The middle of the room had a black leather couch and two black reclining ottomans with a massive seventy-two inch flat screen on the wall.

Ky guided me into the room, his hand resting on my lower back. We sat down at a small table by the window and a stadium worker served us our plates and wine. When she left, Ky looked over at me and gave me a brilliant smile.

“Are you having a good time?” he asked.

“I am, today has been wonderful.”

We ate our dinner while chatting about anything and everything. It was nice, and I felt at ease with him. Ky gave me some pretty heated looks while I was eating, probably because with every mouthful, I moaned my appreciation. It was the best damn chicken marsala I’d ever had.

Just as we were finishing up he said, “I can’t wait for this game to start. Nobody can beat the Giants.”

“Seriously? I think I just threw up in my mouth. I’m excited to see a game, but the Giants will be beaten by the Cowboys.” I stuck my finger in my mouth, and made a gagging noise.

“What in the hell are you talking about? There’s no way the Cowboys are going to win this with Romo as their Quarterback!”

“Care to make a wager?” I asked, lowering my fork.

“You know I don’t back down from a bet. What do you have in mind?” He raised an eyebrow.

“The Cowboys win, you forget all about this idea of you sleeping in a room by yourself, I want you in my bed. If they lose, well, then I guess we get to stay in separate rooms.”

He chuckled. “You’re a high roller, aren’t you?”

He was teasing of course, but he knew that this could lead to something very tempting.

“Always. So what do you say?”

He reached his hand across the table, to shake on it, but I didn’t want a handshake—I wanted his mouth. I got up and moved around the table to stand in front of him. His eyes watched me as I approached. When I was standing in front of him, he opened his legs so I could step in between them. I bent forward and grabbed his shirt, bringing him towards me.

“I think this is a bit more promising than a handshake.”

I pressed my lips to his and kissed him, effectively sealing the deal. He sucked my lower lip into his mouth and I felt his tongue swept across the sensitive flesh. I moaned and opened my mouth, granting him entrance. He tasted like merlot, and it was a decadent flavor. His hand weaved into my hair at the base of my neck and he pulled me down onto his lap. Just as the kiss was heating up, a server came in to remove our dinner plates. Instead of feeling embarrassed about being interrupted, I felt turned on. My skin was overheated and I was wet with need. Ky’s eyes were lust-filled and it was clear that if we hadn’t been interrupted, I may have gotten what I’d been craving from him.

I went back to my seat and sat down. As I watched him looking at me, he watched me with curiosity and desire. We sat there sipping our wine until the game started.

The Cowboys started off with a bang. They scored a touchdown in the first two minutes of the game, which was quickly followed by an interception by the Cowboys defensive back, Morris Claiborne. By halftime the scoreboard read twenty-one to seven, and I started to think I had the bet in the bag.

“Don’t get overzealous over there, Harper. This game is far from over.”

I laughed. “Well, your precious Giants can’t seem to get their shit together, so I’m thinking you might as well start packing your bags to move across the hall.”

He shook his head and the side of his mouth tipped up in a half smile. “We’ll see.”

And boy, was he right. During the last half the Giants ended up scoring three touchdowns in a row, and the Cowboys had two turnovers. By the end of the fourth quarter, the score was thirty to twenty-one, and I was pissed. How in the hell did the Cowboys lose so much momentum and practically give away the game in the last half?

“Hey, Harper,” he said from directly behind me. “My Giants won.”

I was still standing at the large window staring down at the field while all of the fans trickled out of the stadium.

“What the fuck just happened?”

Ky chuckled and it sent a shiver down my spine. “What happened is you learned you should never bet against me. Next time you should try being on my side.”

I didn’t miss his double-meaning with that statement. He put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around. His eyes were serious, instead of his usual animated self.

“Harper, I know that a bet is a bet, but if you really want me to come stay in your room, I will.”

I wanted Ky to stay with me … I wanted him close. I wanted to be able to roll over and feel him next to me. The fact that he was willing to give up the bet, when Ky never gave up a bet, melted me. I felt another little piece of my wall crumble. I would stick to my deal though.

“No, a bet is a bet. There’ll be other opportunities to get you in my bed,” I said teasingly, even though I was disappointed.

I could tell that Ky saw through my façade, but he didn’t say anything more. He led me out of the stadium and to one of the many cabs waiting by the curb.

“You know, something just occurred to me.”

“What’s that?” Ky asked.

“How come we’ve been out running around the city all day and nobody has stopped you for an autograph yet?” It was true. I’d expected to get interrupted several times during our day in the city, but we hadn’t.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I do sometimes. But I’ve found that in New York there are quite a few celebrities walking around town, and the people here either are just used to it, or they don’t want to bother them. Besides, I’ve only just joined the band, so I’m not that recognizable. In fact, to tell you honestly, I’m not sure I want to be.”

I was confused. “What do you mean? I thought this was what you always wanted.”

“It was. But I see what the guys go through every day, and I’m starting to think that this life is more than I actually wanted.”

Our cab made its way through the city to our hotel. I wasn’t sure why we hadn’t walked because it was only a few short blocks. Ky and I walked through the lobby of the hotel, and when we got into the elevator he continued his explanation.

“The guys are never home, they hardly get to see their families, and they’re hounded every time they step outside. I’m just not sure I want to live my life like that. Before I joined DGR I thought this was what I had wanted. Turns out it isn’t as glamorous as you’d think. The money is great, but really, how often do you get to enjoy it? I mean, the one big plus that has come from it is that I’m able to make sure my dad has everything he needs to hopefully keep him comfortable.”

Wow, I hadn’t expected this from him at all. Since he was a kid, Ky had talked non-stop about playing in a band and being rich and famous. The idea of him changing his mind about everything and maybe wanting something else from life was shocking. I could see the relief in his eyes, and the emotion behind his words about his father. His dad was such a sweet man, and he’d always welcomed me into their house with open arms. But unfortunately, earlier in the year he had been diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer. It had been a devastating blow to the Lewis family. From what I knew, pancreatic cancer was terminal and extremely painful. For Mr. Lewis there wasn’t much the doctors could do besides pump him full of chemicals to help prolong his life. It wasn’t a subject that I brought up a lot because I knew it hurt Ky to talk about it.

“So what is it that you think you want to do then?”

“Well, I think when the tour is over I’ll find a house to buy, settle down, and stick to writing music. The band is great, and I love the guys, but I’ve already told them they will need to find a more permanent bass player. They’ll be starting auditions next month.”

“A house, huh? I know a pretty good realtor,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

We got to our room and walked inside. Ky unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. My mouth started to water at the sight of his smooth tanned chest. As much as I wanted to go to him and undress him completely and ravage his body, now wasn’t the time.

He grinned at me and said, “Wanna give me her number? I’ll make sure the commission is worth her while.”

“Who said it was a she? I know this guy—”

He cut me off by wrapping his arms around me and holding me to his body. At first I tensed because I wasn’t expecting it, but then I melted into him. My head on his chest, listening to his calm heartbeat, brought me more comfort than I should have allowed. It was right there in that moment that I realized that I liked—no … I loved—Ky’s comfort. I rarely let a man hold me like that. But I wanted to be right here in this spot, on his chest, feeling his breathing, letting his strength support me. I only hoped that he knew I could offer the same.

I felt his mouth on the top of my head. He kissed me twice and ran his fingers very tenderly through my long, dark hair.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Harper,” he said, so quietly I wasn’t sure I’d heard him.

“Hmmm …” I hummed softly. “Me, too.”

“Despite all of the teasing, this right here is why I wanted you to come.”

We were still holding each other tightly in the middle of the living room.

“I don’t follow?”

He was about to answer that when the ‘Thong Song’ by Sisqo started playing. I glanced up at him and realized it was coming from my purse. His shoulders started to shake—he was laughing. How in the hell had that dickhead managed to get hold of my phone? God, he was sneaky.

“Seriously, Kyler, the ‘Thong Song?’ And when did you ever get a chance to get your hands on my phone?”

My arms dropped from him and I walked to where I’d set my purse down. Digging it out I looked at the screen, and saw it was Michael.

“Shit,” I whispered under my breath.

“What’s the matter?” Ky said from just over my shoulder.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” I said, trying to clear the screen.

Ky must have seen it before I could clear Michael’s name. His mouth pressed into a firm line and his mood definitely shifted.

“Are you still seeing him?”

“What? No! We’ve gone out a few times but we’re not dating or anything. He was probably just calling to check up on me. He does that every now and then. Plus, he doesn’t even know I’m in New York.”

“Are you going to call him back?” Ky was mad, and I wasn’t sure I liked it.

“I don’t know. I might. Does it matter?” I leveled a glare at him.

He breathed in through his nose and spoke. “Of course it matters. You’re here with me, Harper. I won’t share you. When you go home, I want it known that you are my girl. That means no more Michael.”

That pissed me off. We’d never agreed to be in a monogamous relationship. I came out here so he could show me the city. I know he’d said he wanted to prove that we could be good together—and it had been very good over the past two days—but I would not be told what to do. I never had and I never would. My temper was flaring and I pushed back.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Kyler. Just because I came out here to see you, doesn’t mean we are automatically with each other and I’m proclaiming my undying love. That’s not what this trip was about.”

He turned his back towards me and dragged his hands through his hair. “Fuck,” was all he said.

I felt bad that the moment we had shared had been ruined by Michael’s phone call, but maybe it was a good thing. Kyler needed to know where he stood with me. Although, if you’d asked me where that was, I wasn’t so sure I could answer at that very moment. Needing to calm the situation, I reached out and touched his arm.

“Listen, I’m sorry that he called. There’s nothing going on between Michael and me. He’s a nice guy and that’s all there is to it. I won’t call him back if that makes you feel any better, but I will send him a quick text to tell him where I’m at so he doesn’t go knocking on my door back at home.”

I saw his shoulders rise and fall as he took a deep breath. He turned to face me again and the look in his brown eyes showed hurt. It made my heart ache.

“I know I don’t own you, Harper. I’d like to have you solely for myself, but I know you have a life outside of this little world we’ve created during these two days. If you want to call him, that’s fine.” He paused, then leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. “Listen, I’m really beat. I think I’m going to get some shuteye. Make sure you get some rest, we have a busy day tomorrow.”

With that he turned and walked into his room. Why did it bug me that he’d just walked away from me? I was just pissed off that he was trying to stake his claim on me, but now that he wasn’t standing right in front of me, I felt like that was exactly what I wanted. I groaned and walked down to my room, frustrated at myself and my contradicting emotions.

I sent Michael a quick text to tell him I was in New York, and he sent one right back asking if I was there for work. I told him I was there with Kyler for the week. He didn’t respond after that. Part of me felt guilty, as if I was playing two different guys, but really Michael and I had never defined our relationship. He took me out every once in a while and he had turned into my fuck buddy. I know that didn’t make me sound good but again, I’d always been clear with him that we would never be more.

I walked into my room, and after I’d washed my face, I changed into a camisole and boxer shorts. My mind kept replaying what had happened that evening and it was wearing me out trying to sort out my feelings. I decided a call to Em was in order—after all, she knew me best. While I lay in bed, she told me what she thought of the day, the call from Michael, and Ky’s reaction towards it. She reminded me that I owed it to myself and to Kyler to be open to him while I was here. After I hung up the phone I stared up at ceiling, trying to feel at peace with how I handled everything. I ended up falling asleep pretty quickly and had a repeat dream of my father leaving me alone in bed and the feeling of desolation.