Текст книги "Threefold"

Автор книги: Scott Hildreth

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

RAIN

Ethan had been gone a little more than a week, and as much as I felt guilty for feeling the way I felt, the love between Cade and I diminished. After much consideration, I realized I didn’t love the two men individually as much as I had originally thought, but I loved them as a whole. Without Ethan, the chain was broken, and the love I was left feeling was not much more than strong compassion. Feeling truly as if I was the middle piece of a puzzle, and Cade was a third and Ethan the other third, I knew in Ethan’s absence the puzzle was incomplete.

Without Ethan, there was no love. I wasn’t complete. I was broken and incapable of continuing living life as freely and as fully as I had for the last several months. For my life and my love to be able to thrive, I desperately needed Ethan to come back into our lives and make things whole again.

I needed him to complete the chain.

Cade was nothing short of a disaster, and after taking the Monday following our return off of work, he returned to work on Tuesday, only to take the remaining days of the week off, claiming deep depression as the reason. We considered going back to Denver to visit, but we were both such emotional wrecks we felt his mother would have us committed to an insane asylum.

Now simply attempting to make sense of it all, we dragged through each day weighted down by the sorrow of losing a man we both loved desperately.

“I thought the enchiladas would make us feel better, but I can’t even eat them,” Cade complained as he pushed his plate to the center of the table.

“Me neither. Reminds me of him and his brother,” I said as I stirred my fork through the Spanish rice.

“And it reminds me of how much he cared for you,” I continued, “He picked you because he didn’t want you to get hurt. Now this...”

I pushed my plate aside and began to cry. As the tears fell from my chin and onto the table, I stared down at them knowing nothing would ever make this situation any better.

Only Ethan.

I glanced up, wiped my eyes and tried to decide how to continue living life. As I gazed into Ethan’s empty room, I remembered once again the night we talked until the sun came up.

Where are you, you big prick?

Come on, tell me something.

I searched my mind for clues, trying to remember what, if anything, he had told me about what he liked, where he wanted to spend time, or what he wanted to do with his life. He said he had never been out of this shit-hole state, I remembered that.

And he wanted to one day have his own bike shop – where it was warm.

I rubbed my eyes and stared into the room.

And it came to me.

I grinned and turned toward Cade. His face buried in his hands, he was softly crying.

I cleared my throat and tapped Cade on the shoulder. “I know where he is. Well, I think I do.”

“Where?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is this. You and I. We’ve got to be willing to make changes and a huge commitment. I guess along with it, there’s a big risk,” I said.

“What do you mean?” he asked as he wiped his cheek with the back of his hand.

I turned my chair to the side slightly and bit my lower lip for a moment while I thought. As I released my lip, I widened my eyes and began my explanation, “We’re going to have to load up everything we own, quit our jobs, and move half way across the United States. If I’m right, I guess it’ll be the beginning of a new life. If I’m wrong, we’re going to be jobless, and stuck on the other side of the nation.”

“You really think he’s where you think he is?” he asked.

I nodded my head eagerly.

“Talk to Trent. I’ll call in and quit tomorrow,” he said.

It was that simple. I knew at that moment this was meant to be, and everything did happen for a reason. Cade didn’t even have to consider it. He needed Ethan in his life as much as I did, and not having him was killing us both. His immediate response was all I needed to hear.

“It’s going to be sad leaving Trent, but I can’t do anything else,” I said as I stood.

I leaned over and kissed Cade softly. After studying him for moment, I stood and grinned, “I’m going to go down there now.”

“And I’m going to pack when I get home,” I said as I walked to the door.

“I hope you’re right,” Cade said over his shoulder as I opened the door.

As I stepped through the door I felt a sharp tug at my heart.

And it came from the west.

RAIN

Living my life, from the lowest of the lows to the height I had been recently been raised to, left me feeling blessed. The elevation of the cloud I was floating on wasn’t so much a result of having things like a roof over my head and clean clothes, but more from the people in my life who had blessed me with their love and friendship.

Trent sat at the table sipping his tea. His eyes were fixed on the center of the table, but seemed unfocused. After a moment of silence, he closed his eyes. I sat holding my cup of tea, feeling guilty for leaving him, but excited all the while about the possibility of finding Ethan.

Still facing the table, he began to speak softly, “Leaving one man who loves you deeply to find another man who loves you even more.”

He situated the cup of tea in front of him and lifted his hand to his face as he glanced up. As he wiped the tears from his face, I began to cry. In leaving Trent I was sacrificing so much more than a job. I was losing a dear friend, a person I had grown to love, and walking away from one of the best feelings I had ever been blessed with. Taking care of Trent provided me with a feeling of accomplishment, and the gift of knowing I was providing someone with something they desperately needed but wouldn’t be able to acquire without my assistance. In short, Trent had become my fatherly figure and my child all at the same time.

“After you let me read the letter, I knew it was a matter of time,” he said as blew his nose into his handkerchief.

“I’m sorry,” I blubbered as I stood.

“Don’t be. I want this more than you do, I really do. Rain, the love you’ve been blessed with happens once in a lifetime for a very select few people. Understand not everyone is as fortunate as you,” he paused and shook his head, “And what you said about the tugging at your heart? Let me see…”

As I stood a few feet from him biting my quivering lip, he gazed up at the ceiling. After a short hesitation, he wheeled his chair from the table and opened his arms, “All we have to do is walk away. True love tugs at our heart until we return.”

Now a full blown blubbering mess, I leaned over and hugged him. Eventually, as I had a few times during the previous week, I ended up on his lap in the wheelchair with him as he held me in his arms. As my tears soaked the front of his shirt, he rubbed my back and rested his head on my shoulder.

After a few minutes my crying stopped. As I fought to find my breath, he swept the hair from my face and inhaled a slow breath.

“Rain, you’re a remarkable woman. To think I’ll never see you again isn’t something I can quite come to terms with. You’ve filled a space inside of me I didn’t even know was empty. I’m not going to say something ridiculous like keep in touch, but I do want to say this…” as he paused, I lifted my head from his shirt and gazed into his eyes.

“I’ve got more money than I’ll ever spend. I don’t want to argue with you about this, and don’t disgrace me by saying no to my request. This isn’t an offer, it’s a request. I need you to do something for me,” he said.

“Okay,” I sighed.

“When you get where you’re going, and everything’s settled, let me know. Additionally, keep me up to date with letters, emails, and photos. You have all of my information, so staying in touch will be simple. But lastly, and you must promise,” he raised his eyebrows slightly as he studied my face.

I nodded my head.

“You’re going to come visit me. I’ll purchase your airline tickets. If you prefer, I’ll fly all three of you back here, but I’ll need you to come see me from time to time, okay?”

Incapable of speaking, I simply nodded my head and began to softly cry.

“I can’t imagine living…” he released my back and raised his hand to his face.

After wiping the tears from his face, he inhaled a breath through his nose, and continued, “I can’t…I can’t imagine living a life without you in it.”

To think for one minute that I had touched Trent as deeply as he had touched me was more rewarding than any gift, sum of money, or object I could ever obtain.

“Now go get your stuff packed, the love of your life is waiting,” he said.

I stood, kissed him on the cheek, and wiped my eyes.

“It’s not going to get any easier, Rain. Just go,” he said as he waved his hand toward the door.

I nodded my head and turned away. Slowly, I walked away, realizing although I may not see Trent for some time, there was a possibility I’d see Ethan soon. As I opened the door I turned toward Trent.

“I love you,” I said.

He reached down and pinched the chest of his tee shirt in between his thumb and finger. As he pulled it forward, stretching it tight out in front of him, he grinned.

“You see what happens when you walk away?” he said a she held the shirt taught.

Awwe.

“I love you too. Tell Ethan he’s a dick, and I’ll see you soon, okay?”

I snorted a laugh and nodded my head.

As I released the door and stepped into the hallway, I knew although I was leaving someone as valuable to me as Trent had become, having Ethan in my life would make me the richest woman in the world.

Now all we had to do was find him.

ETHAN

I would have expected leaving Rain and Cade to be the most difficult thing in my life. After thirty days without any means of contact with them, I realized leaving wasn’t near as difficult as attempting to now live a life without them.

Although my former dream of owning my own shop had become a reality, I didn’t feel I was living the dream. Times change, feelings change, and along with it, we change. My one desire, my dream, and my only shot at a life filled with love was 1,400 miles away, and I had no way of knowing what the future for me held.

Separating myself from Rain solidified my belief of her being my true love. The separation allowed me to see, feel, and fully understand she was the only woman who could complete my life. Now feeling as if I was in a stand-off with God, I lived from day to day wondering not only if he truly existed, but if so, questioning if he would ever place the two most important people in my life in front of me again. If by some miracle they chose to try, and they succeeded, there would only be one true explanation.

I had lived for the last eight years knowing I loved Cade as if he were my brother. Now that he was gone, I realized my love for him was something even I was incapable of explaining. Having him in my life allowed me to set aside my family, forget the loss of my brother, and live from day-to-day with an odd sense of comfort in having Cade as my family. Coming home at night and not having him greet me left me feeling empty and broken.

Living from day-to-day knowing I may never see them again made my life difficult. In some respects, I looked at it as a life lesson. I now knew beyond any doubt the depth of my love for Rain and Cade both, but struggled with the concept of and my belief in God.

The only thing that kept me in a state of mind sufficient to live life was the hope that my leaving may have allowed Rain and Cade to move on with their lives, realize their love for one another, and begin a family. If the sacrifice I made in leaving and the pain I felt in their absence allowed their relationship and love for each other to blossom, I felt I could happily live the rest of my life knowing it was all for good reason.

I loved them far too much to stand in the way.

I held the surfboard tight at my side as I walked down the concrete walk. As I reached the crest of the hill, I gazed off in the distance and grinned at the sight of the beautiful beach. Ten more minutes and I’d be there, perfecting my newest means of escaping my thoughts.

The Big Sur.

Maybe today I’d be able to stay up on it for longer than 60 seconds at a time.

As I walked, I gazed out at the ocean, and focused on the horizon, where the ocean met the afternoon sky. It was a magnificent sight, something more beautiful in person than I ever would have expected. As I stared mindlessly at the gorgeous sight, slowly my eyes came into focus, and I realized just how majestic the earth truly was.

I stopped, clutched the surfboard, and stared.

If you believe in our love for one another, bring them here. If they find me, I’ll know there’s only one reason they did so. And you have my word I’ll cherish them both for a lifetime.

RAIN

Driving across the United States I didn’t feel I was leaving anything, I felt as if I was going home. As each mile clicked away on the GPS, I felt I was one mile closer to the end of my journey in life. Each mile caused me to feel a little bit safer, more distant from the monster, and closer to having my life back where I knew it belonged.

Cade didn’t hesitate to quit his job, sell some of his belongings, and pack up the remaining items into a moving van. His love for Ethan, as different as it was, was as great – if not greater – than mine.

“The turn off for Grand Canyon is coming up in a few miles. You want to see one of the wonders of the word?” Cade asked.

“There’s only one thing I want to see, and it isn’t a canyon,” I responded as I stared at the GPS.

We had 702 miles to go. At a 70 mile an hour average, we’d be there in 10 hours.

“Ten more hours,” I said cheerily as I clapped my hands together.

I kicked off my flip-flops and propped my feet on the dash. Although I was enjoying seeing the sights on the road, my mind was elsewhere. I knew there were no assurances I would be right about my belief in where Ethan was, but his letter left me no alternative but to believe this was a test on his part.

A test of our love for him.

And our devotion.

“Will you be alright if we just go ahead and drive straight through?” Cade asked.

I nodded my head as I glanced at the GPS. It was 10:00 am. With the one hour we’d gain when we crossed into the Pacific time zone, we’d be there around 7 o’clock at night.

“Yep, just keep driving. We can get a room, and then tomorrow, it’ll be Monday. In the morning we’ll start our search,” I said as I reached for the bag of dried fruit Cade had purchased for us to nibble on.

“Okay. I keep getting more and more excited the closer we get. Do you really think you’re right? It just seems weird he never mentioned anything to me at all about this. I mean not one word,” he sighed.

I poked a mango in my mouth, turned toward him, and ginned, “I’m right.”

He shook his head, brushed his hair form his face, and gazed out the side window at a forest alongside the highway, “I sure hope so.”

“I miss him, Rain. It seems like a year, but it’s only been like five weeks,” he said as he shifted his eyes to the road ahead.

I studied the piece of pineapple in my hand as I thought of the last five weeks, and how difficult it was to live life in a positive state of mind. Both of our lives were in shambles, and we stumbled though each day depressed and longing for the day we were able to finally leave. The only thing fueling us to continue was the hope we’d one day be with Ethan again.

When we finally began the trip, I think we were both relieved to be on the road not only to see Ethan, but to recovery from the hell we’d been living in for the last month.

“I know. And I lost five pounds in five weeks. I didn’t have five to lose,” I sighed as I poked the pineapple in my mouth.

“Five? I lost eleven,” Cade gasped.

I shook my head as I shifted my gaze toward him. He looked pathetic. I loved him dearly, but he had black circles under his eyes, his cheeks were gaunt, and his hair hung into his eyes. He hadn’t had a haircut in almost two months, a record for him.

“You look like hammered shit,” I chuckled.

“Thanks, babe,” he said with a laugh.

The time passed slowly as I studied the GPS the entire second half of the trip. I tried not looking for as long as I could, but typically, I’d look every ten miles or so. Talking did very little good to pass time, and in fact made it worse. After three naps, getting gas a few times, and attempting to force down a meal, I’d fallen asleep again.

The girl’s hair blew in the breeze as she held tightly to the prince’s waist. The horse galloped along the trail, leaving a trail of steam behind from the breath as it came in snorts form his nose.

“We’re almost there,” the prince said over his shoulder.

The girl gripped him tighter as she pressed her face into the upper part of his back.

“I can’t wait,” she responded under her breath.

The girl looked up, peering over the right shoulder of the prince, toward the horizon. Off in the distance, at the top of the hill, the massive castle stood.

She shrieked at the sight and clutched the prince tighter...

A hand gripped her shoulder.

Startled, she turned around.

The monster!

Incapable of speaking, she gasped for breath. The monster’s hand tore at her, leaving gaping wounds in her flesh as he ripped the clothes from her back. The prince turned and glanced over his shoulder. After seeing the monster, the prince attempted to fight with one hand as he held the reigns with the other. The prince’s attempts to fight the monster were futile. He reached for his scabbard and pulled his sword.

The girl’s screaming and fighting did little to free her of the monsters grasp.

Her eyes full of tears, she glanced up. “Help me,” she screamed.

The sound of hooves in the distance caught her attention. Now craning her neck to see over the prince’s shoulder, she saw a great white horse galloping their direction. She gasped in fear as she realized the knight on the approaching horse had no armor.

The monster ripped her dress from her back and tossed it into the wind. As his hairy hands tore at her flesh, groping and gabbing, the prince swung his sword and missed. As she screamed, she peered over the shoulder of the prince as the knight approached their side. The monster tore at her neck with his leathery fists, attempting to grasp the jeweled necklace dangling between her breasts.

In forfeiting her ability to fight back, the girl clutched the jeweled necklace, for it was her only hope. As she held it tight in her hand, she held her breath as the knight’s horse galloped closer.

The knight reached out as he passed and gripped the monster’s arm, pulling him from the girl’s back.

The prince turned, pulled upward on the reigns, and stopped the horse. The knight jumped from the horse, the monster in his grasp, swung around and slammed the monster into the base of a huge apple tree. As the knight placed both his hands around the neck of the monster, the prince kicked his heels against the flank of the horse, racing in the direction of the great apple tree.

As the prince approached, he tossed his sword toward the knight, “Kill the beast!” he yelled.

Without looking, the knight caught the sword, and raised his muscular arms high above his head.

“For the kingdom!” the knight bellowed, holding the sword with both hands. .

And he thrust the sword through the heart of the monster and into the tree.

As the knight turned to face them, the monster fought to free himself from the sword. After a short struggle, the monster gasped his last dying breath. His leathery body covered in hair, he slowly dissolved before her eyes, sinking into the moss covered ground beneath the tree.

The knight glanced upward, holding his hand outward. The prince pulled the reigns, gracefully turning the horse toward the knight. As the horse’s shoulders came close to where the knight stood, the prince reached down and gripped the knight’s hand.

The prince pulled sharply, pulling the knight onto the horse and behind the girl. As the chest of the knight pressed against the girl’s bare back, she exhaled a breath, feeling slightly protected from being naked.

She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. The knight, his face covered in a short growth of hair, smiled in return.

The girl turned around and reached for her jeweled necklace. As she gripped it in her hand, she exhaled. Slowly, she opened the jeweled case and peered inside. She blinked her eyes and stared in disbelief…

“Oh my God!” I screamed as I woke up.

“What?” Cade gasped.

I shook my head and blinked my eyes as I tried to make sense of the fact everything was a dream.

“Nightmare. I had a nightmare,” I said as I wiped the sweat form my face.

“I’m lost. Well, kind of. We’re here, but I missed the turn. I’m on highway one outside of Monterrey. I need to get a hotel,” Cade shrugged.

I wiped my eyes and glanced off to the left, out Cade’s window. The ocean spread from one side of the sky to the other.

Wow.

“I’ve never seen…” I said as I pointed toward the beach.

“Me neither,” Cade responded.

“Can you help me?” he asked.

“Just grab my phone and call information. The GPS doesn’t have hotels in it, or I can’t find them. Just call information or get on Google and find one on or right off of highway one,” he said as he carefully changed lanes.

After clearing my head and logging into Google, I began to search for hotels. Using the map feature on the phone, I found several that may have been close to where we were. Confused, I glanced up from the phone and studied the road.

“Pull off here, right here,” I said as I pointed to the exit.

“Del Monte. Get off on that,” I said as I pointed to the sign.

“Okay,” Cade said as he changed lanes again.

Slowly, we circled the exit. As we rolled down Del Monte Ave, I looked for hotel signs. After seeing nothing, I was fairly certain we were at the wrong side of town and my map reading skills were for absolute shit. Frustrated, I pointed toward a side street.

“Just turn on Pacific Street. Right here. And pull over,” I said as I tossed the phone in the seat.

Cautiously, Cade changed lanes and pulled off on the side street. Now sitting alongside the road, he shoved the gear selector in park.

“Here,” I said as I flipped the phone toward him, “I’m lost. I’m a girl, you do it.”

“Just take it easy. I’m as excited as you are. We’ve got all night, Rain,” he said as he grabbed the phone.

I fumbled in the seat as I tried to find the fruit. The empty package crumpled under my hand as I pressed my palm into it.

“You eat all the fruit, you pig?” I sighed as I glanced toward Cade.

He nodded his head, “you were asleep for three hours, I got hungry.”

Excited, frustrated, somewhat scared, and hungry, I exhaled a long breath and glanced up and out the windshield. A man in the distance carrying a surfboard walked along the sidewalk up ahead of us in the distance. The thought of surfing was so far from what I was used to, and if we stayed here, something I’d have to get used to. As I stared out the window, my eyes continued to be drawn to the surfer. He was far enough away I couldn’t see any details, but something about him…

I reached down and opened the door to the van.

“What are you doing?” Cade said over his shoulder.

I blinked my eyes and stared.

His hair seemed black, but I guessed it could have been wet from surfing. Something about his walk seemed familiar.

My almost inaudible response to Cade came in a shallow breath.

“Just wondering…” I breathed.

The surfer hoisted his surfboard and glanced to his left. He then turned and jogged across the street. His profile was almost impossible to see clearly, but for some reason, my heart stopped.

Completely.

Standing barefoot at the side of the van, I raised my hand to my chest and clenched the locket in my hand.

My heart began to beat again.

I took off in a dead run toward the surfer. Huffing and puffing for breath, I ran as fast as my little short legs would carry me. The closer I got the less certain I was of anything. He was covered in a black skin-tight suit from his neck to his feet. Now facing away from me, and roughly 100 feet ahead, the surfer sauntered up the sidewalk. I ran across the street, through the grass, and onto the sidewalk. I just needed to see his face.

My lungs afire, and my feet feeling like hamburger, I stopped, pressed my hands into my thighs, and tried to catch my breath. After gulping a few breaths, I did my best to scream.

An inaudible “Ethan,” puffed from my lips.

I inhaled again as he continued to walk away.

This was a pipedream. Ethan didn’t even surf.

“Ethan!” I screamed.

The surfer stopped.

Slowly, he turned around.

He dropped his surfboard.

And my heart jumped from my chest.