Текст книги "Threefold"

Автор книги: Scott Hildreth

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Present, previous, and future.

As he continued to pound away, I opened my eyes to a black and white room that smelled like sex.

With my ears ringing no differently than if I’d been knocked out in a prize fight, I stared up at him mindlessly and tried my best to speak.

Nothing.

The inside of my body continued to convulse from the orgasm, leaving me half unaware of my surroundings and completely vulnerable to making stupid decisions. Carefully, as he continued to grin and pound himself into my soaking wet pussy, I opened my mouth again and attempted to make a reasonably intelligent statement.

“Roll…me…”

“Over…” I sighed.

As he leaned rearward, I pulled my tired legs from his shoulders. As soon as they were draped at his side, he reached under my waist and flipped me onto my stomach. As I rested on my elbows and lifted myself to my knees, I breathed my next request onto the comforter.

“Fuck me hard, Cade. Take your hand and shove my head into the bed. Hold it there, like you’re trying to smother me, okay?” I said over my shoulder.

“You sure?” he sighed, not nearly as out of breath as I was.

I nodded my head, “Yes.”

I no more than spoke, and he thrust himself into me. Shocked from the sudden penetration and feeling as if I had no warning, I gasped for a breath. As the air began to fill my lungs, his hand pressed against the back of my head and forced my face deep into to the comforter. As the feeling of my warm breath surrounded my face, he pounded his swollen cock balls-deep against my throbbing pussy.

“Rain…” he groaned.

With my ass in the air, and my tits pressed into the bed, his balls swatted against my clit with each stroke. His fat cock inside of me, his hips pounding against my ass, and his balls slapping my clit were more than I was able to stand, considering my face was smashed into the bedspread as if I were being hate-fucked.

I fucking love this.

“Ohhh…” I heard him moan as he continued to pound his hips into my ass cheeks.

I began to tingle all over. My pussy ached for an ending to it all. Cade had become my sexual superhero, and I was the recipient of his ability to save the world with his cock. I groaned into the comforter, my moist breath lingering against my face, until the groans turned to screams.

I bellowed my pleasure into the comforter as I shook from head to toe in an earth shattering orgasm like nothing on or of this earth. As my pussy clenched against his steadily moving cock, I felt it begin to swell. I closed my eyes in anticipation and waited.

“Rain…” he yelled, as if unsure of what was happening.

The feeling I had always longed for, having the man I loved cum deep inside of me, began with his scream of anticipated pleasure. As the screaming became the only sound in existence, he released my head. I moaned a low rumble of pleasure, which was immediately drowned by his shrill cry.

As I felt the cum shoot from the tip of his swollen cock and begin to fill me, I exhaled a sigh of relief at the exact same time my pussy extracted one last orgasm from my exhausted soul.

He collapsed against my back.

I collapsed onto the comforter.

“Rain,” he breathed heavily against the back of my neck.

“Yes, dear?” I breathed without turning around.

“I love you, too,” he sighed.

After a long moment of searching my mind for answers, it dawned on me that he was responding to my expression of loving him earlier.

My body immediately relaxed into the comforter. In lieu of speaking, I chose to wallow in the thought of Cade, and his love for me. As I filled with thoughts of his love for me, and mine for him, I realized he had just lost his virginity. Although I knew I wasn’t able to give him mine, in some respects I felt I had.

“Thank you,” I sighed.

“Don’t thank me. Just love me in return,” he said.

“I will,” I said under my breath, “I promise.”

And, with those two words, I felt my fate was sealed. And I knew in my heart of hearts I’d never regret it.

ETHAN

We all have wounds, some more severe than others. The light scars eventually fade away, and the memory of the incident which caused the wound fades right along with it. The more prominent scars generally depict an injury of greater severity, and the memory associated with it lingers within us, a scar in itself, attached to our inner being. Picking at a wound before it has totally healed slows the process of repair, and guarantees the remaining scar will be a memorable one.

I’ve never picked at my wounds.

“Dude, you know I’m a sucker for good Mexican food. Damn, you made these motherfuckers?” I said as I glanced around the table.

“Rain and I did, yes,” Cade grinned.

“Holy fuck. How many are left?” I asked as I stared at the last bite of my tamale.

Still grinning from ear to ear, Cade lowered his fork and responded, “There’s an entire pan of the chili, and more tamales than you could ever eat.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that,” I said as I scooped up the last bite.

Tamales with chili, Spanish rice, beef enchiladas wrapped in my choice of corn or flour tortillas, and Cade’s famous elote made for one fabulous meal. As I drug the edge of my fork along my plate, hoping for another morsel of the chili, I realized there was plenty more.

“Anybody?” I said as I stood.

Rain glanced up as she shoveled the elote in her mouth at a pace that would choke a horse. Cade shook his head from side to side as he chewed, and motioned toward his still full plate with his fork.

“Good, more for me,” I said as I turned toward the kitchen.

There was no doubt in my mind Cade’s cooking spoiled me. Many men would stay married to a woman for all of eternity for her ability to cook alone. Cade’s capacity to prepare a meal was second to none. His constant consideration of what I liked, preferred, and didn’t care at all to eat was something I admired about him. Over the years, he had prepared several things I didn’t like, and although I was sure he cared for them, they never returned to the table.

I loaded my plate with three chili covered tamales, rice, and two corn enchiladas. As I walked to the table, I whistled, happier than I could remember being in years. Corn enchiladas were a favorite of mine growing up, and eating them now reminded me of times that had escaped me and would never return. As much as I would expect heartache and pain to come with the memories of my childhood, it rarely happened.

I inhaled the spicy smell of the enchiladas as I sat down, eager to demolish another plate of Cade and Rain’s offering. I glanced up and grinned as I cut one of the tamales in half, wondering the entire time if I could shove the entire thing into my mouth. As I forced the entire thing past my lips, I did my best to grin at them both, proud of my accomplishment.

“You know,” I said as I chewed.

“This is the best fucking food on the planet,” I breathed past the steaming hot tamale in my mouth.

“Thank you,” Cade nodded.

“Appreciate it, Rain,” I said as I picked up my beer and tilted it toward her.

“I love learning to cook. Cade’s a good teacher,” she grinned.

“Well, I’m going to stay out of that class. I prefer the eating to the cooking, that’s for sure. I’ll leave the cooking up to you two,” I said as I pushed the tip of my fork into the second half of the tamale.

“Another thing, just for what it’s worth. These corn enchiladas bring back memories from being a kid. Damn, I like thinking about it. You know, the further I get from my childhood, the fewer memories I have. It’s a damned shame I don’t have pictures. Hell, by the time I’m 50, I’ll probably not even remember half of what I do now. Damned shame,” I sighed as I lifted my fork to my mouth.

Rain glanced up from her plate, seemingly confused. “Why do the corn enchiladas remind you of being a kid?” she asked.

I nodded my head as I chewed and considered what to say in response. After I swallowed and took a drink of beer, I laid my fork against my plate and rested my elbows on the table. As I rested my chin in my clasped hands, I glanced back and forth between Cade and Rain.

“Well, my dad grew up in southern California, and although he was white, he grew up in a Hispanic neighborhood. According to him, his parents were poor. They ate the corn enchiladas, and he said the rich families ate the flour. My mother, as a result of my father’s selective taste, learned to cook from his mother, and she only cooked the corn,” I paused and recalled my excitement of eating Mexican food as a child.

“We ate Mexican food more than anything, and probably had corn enchiladas three days a week. If it wasn’t for them, my brother and I would have starved,” I chuckled as I glanced down at my plate.

As I lifted my fork and studied the food on my plate, Rain and Cade spoke at the same time.

“You have a brother?”

I glanced up, somewhat confused.

“Excuse me?” I asked openly.

Cade swallowed heavily, lifted his glass of water, and took a drink. I glanced at Rain, who sat silently, and then shifted my eyes toward Cade.

“What did you say?” I asked as I dropped my fork onto my plate.

“You said you and your brother would have starved. If uhhm, if it wasn’t for the enchiladas,” Cade said as he lowered his glass to the table.

“I did?” I shrugged.

Cade and Rain both nodded their heads and leaned into the table.

I pursed my lips, pressed my tongue against the backs of my teeth, and thought. I couldn’t recall exactly what I said, but I suspected they may have been right. Now, finding a way to talk about it without getting worked up would be the tough part. As with everything, honesty would be the best policy; but I needed to decide just how much to say.

“A younger brother. A year younger. Had, not have. He died,” I said.

It was easier than I had thought. The words came out without much emotion attached to them at all. Surprisingly, it had been over ten years since I spoke of it to anyone.

“I’m so sorry,” Rain immediately snapped back.

I nodded my head and mouthed the words, “Thank you.”

Without incident, just how I’d hoped.

“What happened?” she asked.

Fuck.

Here we go…

I felt if I just started talking, and told the story as it happened, it would come easy. The difficult thing for me was that everything about the loss of my only brother was subject matter that was not open for discussion; therefore I hadn’t spoken about it for thirteen years – to anyone. I realized – according to professionals – not talking about it was unhealthy and prevented me from dealing with the death, but Ryan was gone and there wasn’t much else that mattered. I felt talking about it was not accepting it, and placing it on a shelf was.

Cade had no idea of my brother or my loss, but considering Rain asked…

I studied her. Innocent and beautiful, she gazed my direction. Mesmerized by her eyes, and powerless to her request to know more, I felt compelled to do my best. I pushed my seat away from the table slightly and wiped my mouth with my napkin. I reached for my beer and realized my hand was shaking. As the bottle dangled between my thumb and forefinger, I gazed beyond her with unfocused eyes, and began.

“I was eighteen, and he was seventeen. His name was Ryan and he was my brother, my best friend, and my only sibling. We were inseparable. We had big plans,” I lifted my bottle of beer, took a short drink and nodded my head.

“He was. He was uhhm…”

It was more difficult to say it than I had thought. What originally drew me to Cade was witnessing the treatment he was receiving in the hallway from several bullies who assumed he was gay. Immediately, he became my brother, and I was able to do for him what I was unable to do for my previous brother. Even today, Cade remained my only family member in my eyes; a brother, yet my best friend.

“He was gay…”

I glanced up.

No response.

Okay.

I glanced down in my lap and eventually studied the bottle of beer as I spoke.

“There were some kids who always messed with him. We uhhm. We grew up in a small town. People in these shitty little towns are so closed-minded you know. I raced dirt bikes back then, and I had this race coming up. And just before this race, these kids had been fucking with him pretty hard,” I paused and glanced up, knowing it was going to get more difficult to continue.

Rain sat with her hands over her mouth, and Cade gazed at me with wide eyes. I shifted my focus to the center of the table and stared.

“Hell, he was such a good kid he never told anyone at school or even me for that matter who they were. He’d come home with a black eye or another bruise and always said don’t worry E, I’ll take care of it. He called me E most of the time. Damned kid was thin as a rail, much smaller than uhhm. Much smaller than Cade,” I paused and lifted the beer to my mouth, draining what little was left.

I rested the bottle in my lap and stared at the wall.

“My parents said they couldn’t come to the race. And these kids had been on Ryan pretty hard for the last week. My father had some deal for his work like he always did, so he couldn’t come, and they wouldn’t let Ryan come with me. My father swore to me he’d be fine; just kids being bullies, don’t worry. That’s what he told me. He promised me he’d protect him, and he didn’t,” I paused, inhaled a deep breath, and exhaled as I gazed down at the empty bottle of beer.

“It was a Saturday…”

I felt my eyes beginning to fill with tears. I stood from the table and walked to the window. As I gazed blankly out the window, I glanced up into the sky and wondered if Ryan was out there somewhere listening to what I was saying.

Just talk quick, E. You can do it.

“They uhhm. They beat him to death. They claimed it was an accident, but it wasn’t. It never is.”

I realized I was leaning against the window. I inhaled a shallow breath, hesitated, and exhaled onto the pane of glass. As my breath fogged up the glass, I leaned away and stared at the spot of condensation. As I watched it diminish, I continued.

“Because they were minors, they wouldn’t make their names public. They said because they were minors, they couldn’t try them in court as adults or provide their names. If they were three months older, they’d have tried them as adults. They sentenced them to fifteen months in juvenile protective bullshit, one year beyond their eighteenth birthdays.”

I stared out the window at the cloudy sky, crossed my arms over my chest, and continued.

“So, I was born with a gift. I was a smart kid and real good with computers and stuff. Too good. I hacked into the police computer system, found their names, and waited. I held out from going to college and just kind of lost touch with everything. I’d moved out from my parents, and was working on bikes for cash, saving my money for who knows what. When they released the two kids, I found ‘em pretty quick, together as Ryan always said. I don’t really know what I expected to happen, but it got out of hand pretty quick,” I paused as I remembered the day I found them both in the diner.

“When I stopped, one was crippled, and the other wasn’t doing too good. He was in a coma for some time, they said he was pretty close to death. Sometimes I wish the little bastard would have died. But they uhhm. They charged me with aggravated battery, assault with a deadly weapon, and attempted murder. I did it, I knew I did it, and to be real honest, I was proud I did it. I copped a plea for four years, and went to the joint and did my time. I got out in three with good time. They never caught me for the hacking, so I was pretty happy about that.”

“Anyway. Yeah, Ryan. My little brother. We loved corn enchiladas,” I said as I turned around.

Both Cade and Rain were in tears. I glanced toward Cade. He sat with his head in his hands, softly crying. As my eyes became unfocused, I finished what I wanted to say.

“So, Cade. When you and I met? Yeah. I was uhhm. I was just making sure those little fucks didn’t do to you what they did to Ryan,” I sighed.

I knew no matter what, I could never let anything happen to Cade. He wasn’t gay, but his mannerisms, his way of dressing, and his feminine qualities certainly attracted attention. To be honest, the situation the three of us were in was perfect. It provided me with a comfort I would always be there for him, no matter what.

My former wife’s decision to leave, Cade’s moving in, finding Rain, her love for the two of us, and my acceptance of it all began to make perfect sense. I turned toward the window and peered out into the sky. Now, considering what my life had become, convincing myself everything had happened as a matter of chance was a statistical impossibility. I focused on the clouds as they slowly swept across the sky, and began to believe quite possibly Ryan was out there somewhere, watching down over me.

If so, a higher being began to make a little more sense.

As did Christina’s mother’s statement to Rain.

Everything happens for a reason…

ETHAN

Being forced into a situation you’re uncomfortable with, no matter how awkward it may or may not make you feel, is similar to being pressured into eating a shit sandwich. No matter how graceful or delicate the description is, it will never overcome the fact the end result is something you find repulsive. And two slices of bread hiding a thin layer of feces between them was never something I wanted to eat.

No matter how much sugar was sprinkled on top.

“It’ll be fun,” Cade grinned.

I pulled a beer from the fridge and turned to face him as I twisted off the lid, “Fun for you and Rain. Sorry dude, I don’t do the family thing.”

“Ethan, we’re a team,” Cade sighed.

I nodded my head, “I realize that. I accept it. And I agree with you, we are. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to intentionally put myself in a situation I’m uncomfortable with if there’s no value in it whatsoever. If I don’t go, you two will have a good time, no doubt. If I do go, you’ll have a good time, and I’ll have a shitty time.”

I raised the bottle to my lips and held it loosely, “You want to make me sad, brother?”

Cade shook his head, “No.”

“Okay, I need to stay here then. The only reason you want me to go is to make yourself believe I’m okay with everything. Well, believe this,” I lifted the bottle and took a long slow drink.

“I’m okay with everything,” I said as I slapped his shoulder with my free hand.

He brushed his hair away from his face with the back of his hand and narrowed his gaze slightly, “You sure?”

“Quite,” I nodded as I turned away, “Just go have fun.”

“I just don’t want…”

“Cade. It’s fine,” I sighed as I walked toward the living room.

Cade followed right behind me, babbling as he walked, “We could go up in the mountains, and there’s lakes and stuff. We could even rent a truck and take your motorcycle with us. You could ride it in the mountains. And my aunt, she’s pretty cool and stuff.”

“Your OCD aunt? Yeah, I’m sure she and I would have a fucking blast. No thanks, brother,” I chuckled.

Standing in front of the couch, Cade sighed heavily. “It just wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“You’re not going to be gone for a lifetime, dude. It’s what three days?” I shrugged.

He nodded his head.

I shrugged my shoulders again and tipped up the bottle of beer. As I drank the remaining beer, I stared at him and wagged my eyebrows.

“It’s all good,” I said as I stood.

“I’ve known you for eight years. I haven’t met your mother or aunt yet,” I said as I walked toward the trash can.

“Now’s a perfect time,” he responded.

I dropped the empty bottle into the trash and turned to face him, “Dude. Enough. Don’t ask again. Fuck.”

“Okay,” he sighed as he stared down at the floor.

“Maybe we’ll take an extra day. Maybe go Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And we could drive back on Sunday. I have a lot of vacation time, and Rain said Trent’s sister was okay with everything,” he said as he glanced up.

“Well, there you go. See? You two have fun, and I’ll stay here and work. I need the money,” I said as I walked toward my room.

“You never spend money,” Cade said under his breath.

“I know,” I chuckled as I reached down to unlace my boots.

The thought of Cade and Rain going to Denver was comforting to me. The entire time I had known Cade, he had spent all of his time either with me or alone. Even when I was married, if he wasn’t with me, he was at home alone. For him to see there was a life beyond what I offered him would be a good experience for him. Enjoying time on the road with Rain would allow him to get to know her on an entirely different level. Spending time with her while in the presence of his aunt and mother would solidify the relationship in his mind. Although he hadn’t revealed any concerns to me about his acceptance of our odd relationship with Rain, I had my reservations regarding his complete comfort.

“So, you good with going alone?” I asked as I walked into the living room.

He nodded his head, “I suppose so.”

“Just have fun,” I said as I embraced him in a hug.

“Ethan?” he breathed as I patted him on the back.

I leaned away from him and gazed blankly in his direction, “Yeah?”

He stared at me for a few seconds and eventually sighed slightly.

“I love you. Can I say that?” he asked.

I nodded my head and grinned, “Sure can.”

“I love you, too. Just like my brother,” I said as I patted him on the shoulder.

“Ethan?”

“Yeah?” I said over my shoulder as I walked toward the television.

“I know it’s not enough, but I’m sorry about your brother,” he said.

“So am I,” I sighed as I glanced around the television, trying to remember just what it was I intended to do.

Still staring mindlessly at the audio equipment under the television, I spoke over my shoulder.

“Let’s agree not to talk about that any more, okay?” I asked flatly.

“Okay,” he responded.

The sound of the door being unlocked brought me out of the fog I had become lost in. I turned toward the door and waited.

Rain came bouncing into the apartment full of energy, as always. Seeing her brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart every time I saw her, regardless of the surroundings. Dressed in a pair of Victoria’s Secret Pink sweats, a Pink tee shirt, and flip-flops, she looked like a miniature model for the clothing line. At not much more than five feet tall, she could never be a model for a living, but in my eyes she was one.

“Hey babe,” I said as she skipped into the room.

“Trent said there’s some meteor shower thing tonight. There’s going to be thousands of shooting stars,” she said as she walked past Cade and gave me a hug.

“I didn’t realize it was going to be tonight,” I shrugged.

She turned away from me, walked to where Cade was still standing, and gave him a hug. As she did, she glanced over her shoulder.

“Yep, tonight,” she said.

I nodded my head, “Well, if I’m still up, maybe I’ll take a little of it in.”

She released Cade from her arms and glanced toward the kitchen, “What’s for dinner?”

Cade widened his eyes and lifted his shoulders slightly, “I haven’t cooked anything. I was thinking maybe eating out?”

“Sounds good,” I said.

“Let me use the bathroom and get a different shirt on, then we’ll go,” Cade said as he walked toward his room.

Rain turned toward me and studied me for a moment, smiling slightly as she did. She was truly beautiful in so many more ways than appearance alone. Her ability to see beyond the complications of her childhood, take the incredible journey she chose to take, and take it alone spoke volumes of her ability to persevere in spite of the circumstances in her new life. Through it all, she remained Rain, only fearful of the potential return of her stepfather.

The resistance encountered determines the amount of energy required to overcome it. The resistance in Rain’s life was great, and overcoming it required tremendous energy on her part. Her strength was definitely a large part of her beauty. Simply seeing her now, and knowing where she came from brought a level of joy to my heart I had never known to exist. As I stood and took her presence into my heart, she slowly walked my direction.

As she stepped directly in front of me, she opened her arms and grinned.

“Hug,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me.

As I held her in my arms, her chest pressed against me, I closed my eyes and exhaled. Although I was incapable of mentally plotting my future to include Cade and Rain in it forever, attempting to comprehend living life without either of them seemed impossible. My decision to live in today, and continuing to live in my today’s of the future was working for me, and I intended to continue that mindset for as long as I needed to.

“I like thinking about our future,” Rain breathed into my chest.

I raked my fingers through her hair and gazed down at the side of her face as she pressed her mouth into my chest, breathing her warm breath into my shirt playfully.

“Funny you said that,” I responded as I flipped her hair over her ear.

“Why’s that,” she mumbled into my shirt.

“I was just thinking the same thing,” I sighed, “Well, kind of. Thinking about it or trying to make a mental plan exhausts me. I can’t seem to wrap my arms around it, you know, big picture.”

She leaned away from me and gazed down at my feet. As she glanced up, she raised her index finger into the air as if she intended to make a valid point and began to speak, “Right now, the future is just one minute away. So, when you think about it, every minute in front of us is an opportunity to change our future. Each minute offers us an opportunity to identify concerns, and make changes for the better. All we have to do is be willing to take the risk. So my future? It’s not miles away, it’s a minute from now.”

I grinned at her explanation and nodded my head, “I like that.”

“People complain about their lives, wanting to see change, but they’re unwilling to take risk. Every minute that passes is an opportunity. It gets down to being comfortable taking the risk,” she shrugged.

“Makes perfect sense,” I said as I reached for her shoulder.

“You’re beautiful,” I sighed as I studied her from head to toe, “I really like your little outfit.”

“Thanks, Cade took me to the mall. I used that gift card. It was fun, because it was kind of free,” she giggled.

“Well, you’re beautiful,” I grinned.

She rested her palms against her waist and cocked her hip to the side. “Do you love me just because you think I’m beautiful?” she asked playfully.

I coughed a laugh, and shook my head from side to side, “I think attraction and affection are often mistaken for love. For most people, recognizing true love is difficult. Realizing it exists within us, however, is quite simple.”

She narrowed her gaze slightly, “How so?”

“All we have to do is walk away,” I shrugged, “True love tugs at our heart until we return.”

“Is there a tug at your heart when you’re away?” she asked as she lowered her hands.

Realizing I’d never actually been away from Rain for any period of time, I nodded my head anyway, assuring her I knew I loved her. In considering her and Cade were leaving for four days, I had no doubt my heart would be attached to a string, with Rain clearly holding other end.

I gazed down at her, shook my head at my inability to fully understand her natural beauty, and breathed the words.

“There sure is.”

As Cade emerged from his room, grinning from ear to ear no doubt about the shirt he had selected, I realized in a week I’d know just how sharp that tug would be.