Текст книги "Down London Road"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 20 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

Fury that he could do this to me, to Cole, after so long, after thinking we were free, took over and the fear was burned to hell in a blaze of rage. ‘Commodity’s a pretty big word for you, Murray. Looks like someone finally taught you to read.’ I rebelliously hoped my eyes conveyed my condescension clearly even in the shadows. ‘But reading does not a smart man make. I don’t have money. You’ll need to whore yourself out to an old prison buddy.’

I barely even saw the blur of his fist coming towards my face.

My head flew back, the muscles in my neck screaming with the impact and the burning heat of his fist hitting my mouth spread into my lower cheek and jaw. Tears of pain fell from my eyes as I brought my head slowly back around to face him, my lip feeling a million times bigger than normal. The warm trickle of blood oozed from an already stinging cut in my lower lip where my teeth had snagged the skin.

There was nothing behind his eyes as his other fist flew low and hit me hard in the gut, bowing me over. All control fled me as I panicked, trying to draw in air. I hit the ground knees first and he kicked me in the side, sending unbelievable pain flaring through my ribs as I collapsed on the muddy footpath, loose stones and dirt biting into my skin.

My body couldn’t decide whether it couldn’t breathe or was going to be sick.

Hard fingers bit into my chin and I cried out, the air rushing into my lungs. Every muscle, every nerve, every piece of bone felt as if it was on fire. I clutched my ribs as Murray held my head up by my chin. ‘You get me that money, lass. I’m renting the flat above the Halfway House on Fleshmarket Close for a few days. You’ve got two days to bring the money to me there. Got it?’

The hurt in my ribs was unbelievable. I could barely concentrate on what he was saying.

‘I said got it?’

I nodded feebly, sighing with relief when he abruptly let go of my chin.

And then he was gone.

The thick scent of beer and nicotine had disappeared. I was lying on the cold ground, my lip throbbing, my ribs aching and my head screaming with fury. At him. At myself.

I should have taken Cam up on those self-defence lessons.

At the thought of Cam I began to cry, cradling my sore side as I pushed myself up on to quivering legs. I swayed against the hillside, feeling light-headed. My body began to shake uncontrollably.

I think I was going into shock.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. I didn’t have time to go into shock. I had two days to get the money to Murray. A burst of pained energy propelled me forward.

Malcolm would give me the money. Malcolm would take one look at me in this state and give me the money, no problem. He was that good a guy.

I stumbled back down the path I’d run up, picking up my fallen purse, desperation and adrenaline making my progress hurried despite the pain I was in. I could phone Malcolm, get him to come and get me.

His name whirled in my brain as I came out of the gardens and did a U-turn at Leopold Place at the top of London Road. I kept to the trees where I could and then in shadow as much as possible in case I met anyone on my way. I didn’t want the police involved. If I got the police involved they might start looking into my whole family life and … I just couldn’t risk it.

If Malcolm paid, this would all go away.

Before I knew it I was standing outside the familiar building.

At the sight of it I began to cry harder, my breath hissing as my teeth caught my burst lip.

Malcolm wouldn’t pay.

Malcolm wouldn’t pay because I didn’t want Malcolm to help me. I didn’t want anybody but Cameron.

I let myself into our building and pulled myself up the stairs, determined to get to him and to throw my arms around him. I cried harder. I needed to feel safe and only Cam could give me that.

I lightly hammered on his door, and sucked in my breath as agony ripped through me. Lifting my arm was like ripping a stitch across my ribs. My body moved forward to lean on the frame and then the door was suddenly wrenched open. My heart was wrenched out of my body with it.

Blinking, I tried to compute the image in front of me. I shook my head to clear it, but it didn’t go away.

Blair gasped at the sight of me bloodied and crying. ‘Jo? What happened?’

My eyes travelled down the length of her and back up again.

Her short hair was wet and curling around her jaw and she was wearing Cam’s QOTSA T-shirt. She was so small it fell to just above her knees. Her bare knees. Her bare legs.

Blair was at Cam’s with wet hair, wearing only his T-shirt at two thirty in the morning?

‘Oh, my God.’ She reached for me and I wobbled back. ‘Cam’s in the bathroom. I’ll just get hi– Jo!’

I was already running, stumbling, falling, tripping my way back down the stairs. In that moment I couldn’t be anywhere near that building. I couldn’t go home to Cole like this, and Cam …

I threw up beside the rubbish bins.

Wiping my hand across my mouth, I glanced up the road.

I needed a taxi.

I needed my friend.

If Cam … I stifled a sob, hurrying around the corner and up London Road … if Cam wasn’t … then I had to go someplace that was safe.

The only good thing to happen to me that night came in the shape of a taxi with its light on. I threw out my hand and the cabbie pulled over. Still cradling my rib, I shakily got in.

‘Dublin Street,’ I told him, speaking awkwardly with my split lip.

He eyed me warily. ‘You all right? Do you need a hospital?’

‘Dublin Street.’

‘You’re in a bit of a state –’

‘My people are on Dublin Street,’ I insisted, tears pricking my eyes. ‘They’ll take me.’

The taxi driver’s moment of hesitation was long enough for Cam to come skidding around the corner in T-shirt and jeans, his frenzied eyes searching up and down the street before swinging to meet mine in the cab. Features pale and drawn, he moved towards me just as the cab pulled away, his muffled shout reaching my ears over the sound of the engine.

My phone rang seconds later. I picked it up but didn’t say anything.

‘Jo?’ he yelled, the word coming out in a puff that told me he was out of breath, probably from running after me. ‘Where are you going? What happened? Blair says you’ve been attacked? What’s going on?’

Hearing the fear in his voice did nothing to soothe my heartbreak or quell the bitterness I felt for him in that moment. ‘I guess that’s no longer your concern,’ I answered numbly and hung up to the sound of his frantic shouting.

29

‘I’m going to kill him,’ Braden threatened with such quiet veracity that a shiver rippled down my spine. An unyielding blaze of retribution burned in his eyes. Another shiver followed in the wake of the last just as Joss dabbed at my lip.

I hissed at the sting of TCP against my cut and threw Joss a wounded look.

She winced, pulling back the cotton wool. ‘Sorry.’

Braden took a step towards me, all bristling angry male and even in a T-shirt and jogging pants he was intimidating. ‘Where is he?’

I shook my head.

‘Tell me, Jo.’

When I didn’t he took another step towards me and demanded coldly, ‘Tell me.’

‘You, back off!’ Joss yelled up at him, her own eyes bright with anger and anxiety. ‘You’re starting to scare Jo.’ Her voice quieted but didn’t lose its authority. ‘And I think she’s been through enough for one night, don’t you?’

They stared each other down for a moment and then Braden muttered something under his breath and stepped back. Renewed respect for this woman took hold in me. She might be small but she was extremely fierce – the kind of friend everyone needed on their side.

When Joss had opened the door after I hammered on it for what felt like five minutes, she’d stared at me in shock for a second, standing there half asleep in pyjamas with her hair a wild mess around her shoulders. When I tripped towards her, my expression pained, dried blood crusted on my face and shirt, it was the first time I had real evidence of how deeply she cared about me. She pulled me inside and I felt her body trembling with anger as she helped me to the living room, her hoarse voice shouting to Braden for help.

I collapsed on their couch, exhaustion leaching all strength out of me now that I’d got to them. While Joss tried to clean the cut on my lip, I explained to them what had happened. Then Braden’s scary caveman threatening began.

‘Is it really bad?’ I asked Joss softly, my quaking fingers tentatively touching the area around my lip. It felt tender and swollen.

Joss scowled. ‘You’re lucky he didn’t knock out a tooth.’ She looked down at my left side. ‘You’ll need to have your ribs looked at.’

‘I don’t think they’re broken.’

‘Oh, are you a doctor now?’

‘Joss,’ I said with a sigh, ‘if you take me to the hospital there will be questions and police and I can’t have the social services looking into our situation right now. Mum is worse than ever. They might take Cole away.’

‘Jo, your mum can’t help her illness, and you’re there looking after him,’ Braden spoke up, his voice reassuring.

With my eyes I told Joss I thought she was amazing. She’d kept my secret and she’d even kept it from Braden. I appreciated it hugely, but I was more than a little tired of having the secret in the first place. As if it was something I should be ashamed of. ‘Braden, my mum doesn’t have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She’s a bedridden drunk.’

Other than the slight raising of his eyebrows Braden didn’t really react to the news. We sat in silence for a moment and then he stepped forward and lowered himself to the coffee table so he was sitting directly in front of me. For a moment I got lost in those concerned pale blue eyes of his. ‘I’ll have my family doctor look at you in the morning. He can be very discreet. Will you agree to see him?’

‘Yes, she will,’ Joss answered for me belligerently.

I wasn’t even looking at her and I could feel her eyes boring into me, daring me to defy her. I nodded at him and I felt the couch move as Joss slumped back with relief.

‘Before I see a doctor I need a plan.’ I glanced from Braden to Joss, desperation and determination vying for a place in my eyes. ‘I can’t let him near Cole.’

‘And he wants money from Malcolm?’ Joss curled her lip in disgust.

‘Yes.’

‘Why didn’t you go to Malcolm, then?’ she asked, more than a little curiosity in her voice. ‘He would give you it.’

‘He would,’ I agreed, my voice soft but laced with an edge. ‘But he’s from a life I don’t even recognize anymore, and I don’t want to go back there. Facing him, ensuring his loyalty, it means becoming someone else again. I can’t do that. I’m just “Jo” now. And I know I can’t do everything by myself any more.’ I gave her a wobbly smile. ‘Good thing I finally realized I have friends I can trust.’

Joss swallowed hard and reached for my hand, threading her fingers through mine. ‘You do.’ Her eyes turned ferocious as she looked over at Braden. ‘We’ll get him off your back. We’ll pay the asshole to disappear.’

As I turned my head I caught Braden’s reluctant nod. Braden didn’t want to pay him back in money. He wanted to pay him back in blood.

The ache in my side and my battered pride made me tend to agree with Braden. Would money really keep Murray away or would he eventually come back for more? He’d always been like that when we were younger. He’d take whatever extra cash Mum had lying around, disappear for days on end, and then return home when he’d run out. The only time he ever disappeared completely was when Uncle Mick beat the crap out of him and started playing bodyguard arou –

‘Uncle Mick!’ I breathed the words in excited, sudden realization, my hand gripping Joss’s so hard it was probably painful.

‘Mick?’ Braden’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

I nodded. ‘Mick. I’m not letting you guys pay Murray. He’ll see that as weakness and he’ll come back for more. No.’ I looked at them, unable to smile in triumph because of the cut. ‘There’s only one person Murray Walker has ever been afraid of and he thinks that person is in the States.’

Braden smirked. ‘Mick.’

‘Mick.’

Turning to Joss, Braden nodded towards the door. ‘Come on, we’re getting dressed. We’re taking Jo to Mick and then Mick and I are paying Mr Walker a wee visit.’

‘No, Braden, I don’t want you –’

He held up a hand to quiet me. ‘I’m not going to fight him.’ His eyes darkened. ‘Mick and I will just have … a word with him.’

‘Shouldn’t we call Cam?’ Joss asked as she and Braden stood up.

Mention of his name shot pain far more excruciating than my physical wounds through my entire body. I felt my cheeks burn as I admitted softly, ‘I went to him first. He was a little preoccupied with Blair.’

They were both silent for a moment as my meaning registered with them, and then Braden bit out a curse. He grazed past Joss, squeezing her shoulder as he flashed her a wolfish grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘Better wrap my hand up. Looks like my fist will be meeting more than one face tonight.’ And with that pronouncement he strode out of the room, presumably to get changed.

I stared after him, wondering if he’d meant what I thought he’d meant.

Joss smiled weakly. ‘He’s kidding. Braden doesn’t fight. Well … normally …’ She raised an eyebrow in thought. ‘He is a little overprotective, though. And he definitely doesn’t like men who beat women and he doesn’t like cheaters … but he’s kidding …’ She turned her head to look at the door. ‘I think.’

The Caledonian was a Waldorf Astoria Hotel, so it was a nice place. To assure uninterrupted passage through it, Joss and Braden dressed well, and I huddled behind Joss for the entire walk across the quiet reception area. It was now four thirty in the morning. Braden gave the night receptionist a brisk, no-nonsense nod, and that together with his appearance – he was wearing a black Armani trench coat over his dress trousers and shirt – seemed to assure the receptionist that we belonged there.

Butterflies were in full riot in my stomach as we rode the lift up to the fourth floor. I felt guilty for dragging Joss, Braden and Mick into this mess, but I wasn’t doing it for me. I was doing it for Cole, and I had a proven track record of acting selfishly when it came to protecting Cole. Lucky for me, Joss, Braden and Mick actually cared, and I knew that they would be doing this even if I hadn’t asked it of them.

As we stopped outside Mick’s hotel door, Braden knocked on it loudly and Joss put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to her. It put pressure against my side and I winced, immediately rewarded with a rambling apology from Joss. It would have been funny how many times she called herself a dick if I hadn’t been trying to catch my breath.

The hotel door swung open and I was surprised to find Uncle Mick fully dressed and alert. His eyes narrowed in on me and I saw the muscles in his jaw working against his fury. ‘I’ve been trying to call you,’ he said tersely.

Confused, I blinked rapidly. ‘Um … my phone’s switched off.’ I’d turned it off when Cam had tried to call me again.

Mick nodded and then stepped back so we could enter his room. Braden led us in and stopped quite abruptly at the threshold. I knew why when I sidled up next to him with Joss.

Olivia and Cam were there.

Braden looked down at me, drawing my gaze. ‘I can hit him now if you want?’

I’m not going to lie – I seriously pondered the suggestion before finally saying with a sigh, ‘Not worth it.’

‘Jo?’ Cam asked hoarsely.

I looked at him and felt Joss’s hold on me tighten. Cam’s blue eyes searched my face and just like Mick’s had, his expression clouded over, undiluted rage sparking to life in his eyes. ‘Who the fuck did it?’ he asked between gritted teeth.

I didn’t answer his question. Having him here was incredibly painful. The anger he felt over my attack seemed fake in light of the fact that he’d cheated on me with Blair. ‘I want you to leave.’

Cam closed his eyes as if he was in pain. ‘Jo, please, what you saw …’

‘Just leave.’

‘Jo.’ Olivia stepped forward. ‘Give him a chance to explain.’

‘Later,’ Mick snapped, his gold eyes fixated on my wounded mouth. ‘I want a name. Now.’ I gulped, feeling the threat of violence rise in the room. Not just from Mick – his anger was infecting Cam and Braden.

‘Murray.’

Mick’s nostrils flared at the name.

‘Dad did it,’ I clarified.

‘What?’ he yelled, his question muffled by Cam’s explosion of expletives.

Olivia strode between them, trying to calm them. ‘We’ll get thrown out of the hotel,’ she warned them. She turned to me. ‘Explain what happened.’

For the second time that night I related my tale, and when I was done the air was thick with testosterone. Cam finally couldn’t take it any more and he crossed the room, his shaking hand reaching to cup my chin. At the brush of his skin against mine, I tugged my head away, then grimaced at the sharp sting of pain in my neck from where I’d suffered whiplash from Murray’s attack.

‘Jo, I didn’t do what you think I did,’ he insisted.

I couldn’t look at him. All I could picture was his face above mine as he made love to me, his eyes telling me he cared, and then the image tearing down the centre to reveal him and Blair writhing naked together on his bed. My stomach turned at the thought and the pain in my chest was indescribable. So this was what it was like to be heartbroken? ‘Why did you even come here?’

‘I came here because I thought this was where you’d go if you were in trouble.’

His response startled me. My eyes betrayed me and sought out his. He’d thought I would come here? ‘Not Malcolm’s?’

He shook his head, his expression desperate.

That disconcerted me. I didn’t like it. I dropped my gaze, my confused thoughts giving me a headache. Cam had trusted me not to turn to Malcolm after all. He did see me.

He saw me.

I scoffed at the hope bubbling up inside me.

He’d also screwed Blair.

Deflated, I felt my shoulders slump.

‘Where is he?’ Mick demanded. ‘I’m going to sort that fucker out once and for all.’

I wasn’t big on violence. Anyone who really knew me knew that. But as I looked up into my uncle’s distressed and bloodthirsty gaze, I couldn’t find the willpower to lie to him. I wanted to believe fighting violence with violence was never the answer. I wanted to believe that there was a better way. And maybe for other people there was. Unfortunately, fear was the only thing Murray Walker understood. He was a schoolyard bully, and bullies really were cowards at heart. Murray definitely was … but only when it came to Mick.

One day I’d have to ask Mick why that was.

Not tonight, though.

‘The flat above the Halfway House on Fleshmarket Close.’

Mick grabbed his phone from the bedside table and stuffed it into his pocket. He turned to Olivia. ‘Take Jo home. I’ll call you when we’re done.’ He nodded at Cam and Braden. ‘You two are with me.’

My eyes disobeyed me again, finding Cam’s. The emotion roiling in those blue eyes of his was like an electrified net that caught me. Holding my gaze, he stepped towards me and cradled my face gently in his hands, then pressed his forehead against mine without a word. The familiar scent of him, the heat, the feel of his skin, all made me shudder with a rush of anguished longing.

‘You know I didn’t sleep with her, Jo,’ he whispered against my mouth, and everyone else just seemed to disappear. I wanted to believe him so badly.

Pulling back to gaze into my eyes, he refused to let go of me. We had a silent conversation.

You have to trust me.

I saw her there. In your T-shirt. What else am I supposed to think?

That I would never hurt you like that.

A deluge of images flashed in flutters and whispers of colour and feeling. The tenderness in his eyes, the honesty I’d known from him, our laughter, searching hands that couldn’t seem to get through a day without feeling my body beneath them …

Blair coming back into Cam’s life was a problem for me. However, it had never been because I was worried he would do something so callous as cheat on me with her. Yes, I had worried that he’d leave me for her, but I never believed he would cut me like that. I’d trusted that he would never cut me like that. Did that trust still exist? I searched his face for the answer.

No. Cam would never cut me like that.

Something in his gaze shifted as he recognized my realization and he sighed.

There she is.

I pinned him with a look that told him he wasn’t off the hook just yet. ‘We still need to talk.’

He nodded, his gaze flickering to my mouth. His own lips thinned, a hard glitter entering his expression at the sight of my bruised and swollen lip.

‘Does anyone else know what just happened here?’ Mick asked impatiently.

Joss grunted. ‘I think Jo just said she believes Cam didn’t sleep with this Blair chick.’

Braden grumbled, ‘If only you were that intuitive about our relationship.’

She glowered at him. ‘If I wasn’t so damn worried about you going off to face this guy, I might just dump your ass.’

I raised an eyebrow, looking over my shoulder at her fiancé. Braden narrowed his eyes and I watched another silent conversation unfold. Whatever he said in it made her squirm.

‘Och, enough of this,’ Mick groused cantankerously as he wrenched open the hotel door and stormed out, followed by Braden. Cam gave me one more meaningful, soulful look before he disappeared behind them.

My stomach flipped as I thought about what they were going to do.

Another cab ride took Joss, Olivia and me back to the flat. Although I was exhausted, I was awake enough to shoot the door to Cam’s flat a glare so ferocious it was a wonder flames didn’t erupt from the doorstep and devour it with the heat of my anger.

‘He explained everything to me and Dad,’ Olivia suddenly said, obviously catching my look. ‘You need to talk to him.’

‘She doesn’t need to do anything but rest right now,’ Joss insisted softly, taking my keys out of my purse as we climbed the steps to my flat.

‘It’s okay,’ I muttered. ‘I believe him. Seeing her was a shock, I didn’t think clearly … but Cam wouldn’t do that to me. Still doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking about doing it, though.’

‘He’s not,’ Olivia assured me, but I was too weary to listen.

We tried to be quiet as I settled on the couch with Olivia while Joss made us all a cup of tea, but I heard Cole’s door open nevertheless. I closed my eyes, drawing in a deep breath.

‘What’s going on?’ I heard him ask, obviously talking to Joss.

She whispered something to him and the next thing I heard was his light footsteps across the hardwood floor.

‘What the hell?’

My eyes flew open to find Cole standing over me in his pyjamas. His eyes were wide and frightened as they took in my face, and just like that he was a wee boy again. ‘I’m okay.’ I attempted to reassure him, stifling a flinch of pain as I reached for his hand and dragged him down beside me.

The fear began to melt out of his eyes, to be replaced by something that was all too familiar tonight: the promise of male retribution.

‘Who did it?’

Despite all the crap that had happened in the last twenty-four hours I was starting to feel rather loved, given all this anger and bristling on my behalf. ‘Dad,’ I answered honestly, having already decided I wasn’t keeping this from him.

I told him everything. And not just about tonight. Bracing myself, I confessed to all three of them of my dad’s abuse when I was young.

The last word had spilled from my mouth minutes before and still no one had said anything. We sat in the living room in a heavy silence. My stomach churned as I awaited my brother’s response.

Joss was the first to speak up. ‘Well, now I hope Mick kills the swine.’

‘You don’t mean that,’ I muttered.

‘Doesn’t she?’ Olivia asked, surprising me with her anger. She was always so laid-back. ‘People can be … well, they can be wonderful. And sometimes, unfortunately, they can be monsters we hide from inside our homes. We worry that those monsters will find their way inside. We’re not supposed to fear that they already are inside. Your mom and dad are supposed to protect you from that. They’re not supposed to be the monster.’

‘She’s right.’ Cole leaned forward, his elbows braced on his knees, his head bent low as he stared at the floor. ‘Mick needs to teach him another lesson. One that’ll stick this time.’

Hating to see him distressed, I put my hand on his back and began to rub soothing circles between his shoulder blades.

He looked back at me. ‘That’s why you fly off the handle when Mum says I’m like him.’

My mouth flattened. ‘You’re nothing –’

‘Like him,’ Cole finished. ‘Aye. I get that now.’

We were silent again for a moment and then my wee brother looked over at me. ‘You have to stop trying to protect me from everything, Jo. I’m not a kid any more. You handle everything by yourself and it’s not fair on you. So stop. We’re a team.’

Pride and gratitude bundled together to create a lump in the back of my throat, so I nodded, brushing my hand affectionately through his hair. His eyes closed at the caress and to the surprise of everyone, he tucked himself into the side of me that wasn’t sore and hugged me close. We sat there so long that I drifted asleep …