Текст книги "Down London Road"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

Cam tugged on my hand, and I followed the motion, lowering myself to my knees, the rug a soft pillow against them. Taking his erection in hand, Cam guided it to my entrance, and as I lowered myself farther, he filled me, sliding into my wet channel with a satisfaction that made us both gasp. I clasped his shoulders and eased back up ever so slightly, the delicious friction causing a pool of coiling tension in my lower belly. My lips parted in a delighted exhalation, and my eyes hooked on Cam’s as my hips began to undulate against his in perfect rhythm.

It was intense, watching the pleasure escalate in his eyes as he watched it in mine. My skin began to burn and I tried to move faster, chasing climax, but Cam slowed me, gripping my hips to falter my movement. His eyes washed over my face, taking in every tiny detail, making me feel more naked than I’d ever felt before.

I shook my head, silently telling him to stop. His grip on my hips hardened. I couldn’t look away. I wanted to look away. It was so much. Too much. Feeling tears prick my eyes, I leaned forward, crushing my breasts against him, wrapping my arms around his neck, my lips in his hair as I rode him with torturously slow strokes.

Feeling a gentle tug on my hair, I let him pull me up, my back arching under his hold. Warm, wet heat captured my nipple as he took my right breast into his mouth, his other hand squeezing and fondling the left, pinching my nipple between forefinger and thumb. A cry fell from my lips as a sharp surge of pleasure shot between my legs, and I clutched the nape of his neck tightly, moving faster whether he wanted me to or not.

His mouth moved, pressing wet kisses over my breast, and I slammed down on him, needing more, needing everything. He groaned against my skin, his fingers digging into the muscles in my back.

‘Cameron,’ I breathed as the tension built and built, my hips moving faster against his. ‘I’m close. So close …’ Wanting his mouth when I came, I tugged gently on his hair, drawing his face up to mine, my lips falling on his, my tongue sliding deep into his mouth for a kiss made up of eroticism, of pure longing.

The tension snapped inside me. I came with a muffled cry in his mouth, and my muscles momentarily locked around him as my sex clenched his cock, wave after wave of pulsating pleasure cascading over me. I fell against him completely, my forehead on his shoulder as he pumped into me a few times before the wet warmth of his release exploded inside me, his hard grunt in my ear as he came, causing my inner muscles to pulse around him a few more times.

We stayed there for a good while, wrapped around each other.

Not saying a word.

Not needing to.

Cam groaned. ‘I have to move in an hour.’

We were lying on the rug, the faux fur blanket from his couch that Becca had bought as a moving-in gift now thrown over us. My head rested on Cam’s chest, my legs tangled with his, as his fingers teased through my hair.

‘Boo to work,’ I said with a pout, tracing the tattooed curlicues on his right arm.

‘I know. I could stay here forever.’

I smiled against his skin, utterly delighted. ‘You know, the only thing that would make this more perfect would be a real fire in that fireplace.’

He gave a huff of laughter. ‘I’ll light some candles next time.’

‘Very nice. Has anyone told you you’re a bit of a romantic?’

‘Nope. That’s definitely the first time I’ve been called that.’

Surprised, I tilted my head to look into his face. ‘Seriously?’

‘Seriously.’ His lips twitched. ‘You think I’m romantic? Baby, that doesn’t say much for those assholes you’ve dated.’

I grinned back at him. ‘Actually, you have your moments.’

With soft eyes, he gave my shoulder a squeeze. ‘You make it easy.’

‘See!’ I cried softly, my eyes glittering with utter contentment. ‘That was romantic.’

‘It was?’

‘Yes. Surely, you’ve been romantic with ex-girlfriends?’

Why oh why did I ask that? Did I really want to hear about the ex-girlfriends?

Thankfully, Cam sidestepped the question. Unfortunately, he sidestepped it by asking one. ‘So was Malcolm romantic? That Callum guy?’ There was a definite edge to the question, so I thought I’d best tread carefully. But honestly.

‘Callum could be very romantic. All hearts and flowers and shit like that.’

Cam grunted. ‘Shit like that?’

I shrugged, feeling okay talking about it now that I was wrapped in the arms of something real. ‘Looking back, it all seems fake. We were together two years. He met Cole a few times. Never met Mum. I saw him every other weekend when I could. He sent me flowers, bought me nice things, went all out on Valentine’s Day. I met his parents but knew very little about them. Hung out with some of his friends and knew even less about them. I don’t know if I even knew Callum. I know for a fact he didn’t know me. So, yeah … shit like that. I’d take hot sex against a desk with a guy who knows exactly what he’s getting into – pardon the pun – over flowers and chocolates any day.’

I chanced a glance up at Cam and saw him smiling widely at me. ‘I think I’m having an earthy influence on you, Johanna Walker.’

I grinned back. ‘I think so too.’

He rubbed his calf against mine and pulled me even closer. ‘And Malcolm?’

‘He had his moments. Again, I didn’t know much about him and he seemed happy with that. I knew he had an ex-wife, that his mum had passed away but his dad was alive. He had a brother he was really close with but not close enough with to introduce me. He didn’t know me at all like he thought he did … but he was a true gentleman.’

I felt Cam tense beneath me for a second before letting air out between his lips. ‘You cared about him.’

After pressing a reassuring kiss to his chest, I nodded.

That silence fell over us again, the one that seemed so full of words unspoken, so full of emotion, charging the air between us. Understanding what it meant, I felt my chest compress with the gravity of the emotion. To stop myself from saying the words too soon, I stupidly asked what I didn’t want to know. ‘Have you ever been in love?’

When he heaved a huge sigh I tried not to react physically, and when he answered quietly, ‘Yes,’ I tried not to be sick.

It was stupid, of course, to feel pain in my chest, to feel my stomach flip and my brain scream Noo!!! but I couldn’t help my reaction. Cameron had been in love.

Taking a moment to make sure my voice was steady, I sucked in another breath and then asked, ‘When? Who?’

‘Do you really want to know this?’ His voice was gruff.

‘If you want to tell me, I want to know.’

‘Okay,’ he answered gently, his hand sliding down my arm in a caress. ‘It was a long time ago. I met her ten years ago when I was eighteen. Her name was Blair and we met in our first term of uni.’

Blair.

And he’d loved her.

Already I was envisioning some tall, dark-haired beauty with intelligent eyes and cool self-possession like Joss. I pushed those imaginings aside. ‘What happened?’

‘We were together for three and a half years. I thought we’d get engaged, buy a house, get married, churn out some kids. I thought she was it.’

Was that a knife he was twisting in my side? I held still, trying to squash the intense jealousy and hurt I felt at his revelation.

‘However, Blair was offered a placement at a university in France to do her postgraduate degree in French literature. So I broke it off with her. I broke it off with her before she could break it off with me because I knew she was going to choose France and she knew I would never leave Scotland. I couldn’t leave my parents or Nate and Peetie behind. She was going to end it, so I just made it easy for her.’

There was so much in that confession that my throat closed with anxiety. I didn’t say a word, just threaded my fingers through his and waited for the pain to ease.

It didn’t.

A while later, we showered together and then Cam left me to go to the bar. I found myself heading up to the flat in a fog of absolute despondency. I’d tried to pull myself out of my gloomy mood, giving him easy smiles and soft kisses, telling myself that he had not once given me reason to believe that he wasn’t in this with me, that he didn’t feel what I felt when we were together.

I’d almost convinced myself as I entered my flat, but when I shut the door I came face-to-face with Mum. She swayed on her bare feet, her nightdress hanging like a sack on her gaunt frame. Her unfocused eyes and unstable feet told me she hadn’t taken it easy with the drink today. Today she’d wanted to get well and truly pissed.

‘Whereyebeen?’

Not in the mood to talk to her, I replied shortly, ‘With Cam,’ and moved past her, on my way to my room.

‘Where’d go?’

Assuming she was asking where he’d gone, I looked back over my shoulder. ‘Work.’

‘Bar,’ she scoffed. ‘Bit of a loser, eh?’

Since I worked at the bar too, I tried not to take that personally. ‘Actually he’s a graphic designer, Mum.’

‘Mmph, fancy bugger, eh?’ She gave a wee laugh and headed towards the kitchen. ‘What the fuck he doing wi’ you?’

I froze.

‘Get bored wi’ you, wee lass. No smart enough for him.’

Backtracking up the hall, I hurried into the bathroom and locked myself in, listening to my insecurities eat away at me. They sounded an awful lot like Mum when she was drunk.

But she was right, wasn’t she?

Cam had been in love with a girl who had been intelligent and interesting, heading off to Europe to do a postgraduate degree in French literature.

He’d been in love with someone who was obviously my complete opposite.

Worse, it hadn’t ended because he stopped loving her.

It ended because of his fucked-up abandonment issues.

I stared in the mirror, searching for something, something interesting, something unique, something that made me someone that Cam needed to be with.

I couldn’t find anything.

A sob rose up out of my mouth and I let the tears fall.

Today I’d fallen in love with Cameron MacCabe. But how could I ever expect him to love me back when I couldn’t find anything in me worth loving?

19

‘I have pancakes,’ Helena MacCabe announced brightly, reaching for her husband’s plate. I immediately put my own clean plate on top of Cole’s and grabbed Cameron’s too.

‘I’ll help.’ I smiled politely.

Helena and Anderson MacCabe had been nothing but friendly and open with me and Cole since we’d arrived at their house yesterday, but I still couldn’t shake off my nervousness.

It wasn’t just because they were my boyfriend’s parents and I wanted them to like me. It was because they were Cam’s parents – parents he adored – and I wanted them to think I was good enough for their son.

The last week had been strange. At the beginning of the week I’d still felt insecure and weird over Cam’s announcement that he’d been in love with this exotic-sounding Blair person, but since he spent all his spare time with me, and was even affectionate at the bar – seeming unable to keep his hands off me for more than five seconds – those insecurities started to fade into the background until finally I was barely even aware of them.

As Saturday approached, and Cole and I readied ourselves for a night in Longniddry, I grew more and more anxious about meeting Cam’s parents. I confessed this to him and he thought it was adorable. He appeared to be completely confident that they’d like me.

So was Malcolm.

We’d still been texting, and on Wednesday he’d called me to talk for the first time since the split. It had been awkward at first, but tension eased between us when he told me he was dating someone. The said someone was older than me and had a kid, and Malcolm felt a little out of his depth with her. I told him to spoil the working mother of one and he’d win her over in no time. He told me to just be myself and I’d win Cam’s parents over in no time. I had got off the phone wondering which ‘myself’ he was talking about, since I didn’t think I’d ever introduced him to the real one.

On Saturday morning Cam had rented a car to drive us out of the city and before I knew it we were driving down the main street of Longniddry, passing quaint cottages with their beach-coloured bricks and red-slate roofs and the local pub, which looked well-frequented, but I hadn’t been able to enjoy the idyllic prettiness. It was a cool spring day and the sun was out and the little village was fairly busy. But me? I was too busy gnawing my lip. Despite both Cam’s and Malcolm’s assurances, little mini-versions of me had started freaking out together in my stomach. I could feel them kicking and screaming in there.

We turned left at a roundabout, I knew that, and Cam had pointed out the grand red-stone gatehouse to the Gosford estate, babbling on about something his father had told him about it. Cole had replied, so I gathered he was actually listening. I, on the other hand, was just trying not to upchuck.

When we pulled into a well-groomed housing estate and parked in front of a medium-sized whitewashed house with a red roof, I lost my ability to breathe. Cam laughed at my reaction, giving me a quick, hard kiss before ushering us out of the car and into his parents’ house.

They had been lovely so far. Helena, or Lena, as she preferred to be called, was warm, kind and dry-witted, and Anderson – Andy – was quiet, friendly and genuinely interested in me and Cole. Their dog, Bryn, was an energetic fourteen-month-old King Charles puppy who immediately fell in love with Cole, and vice versa.

We’d gone to the local inn for lunch together, where we chatted about work, my work, Cam’s work, their work, and Cole’s talent for drawing and writing. I gathered Cam had told them something about Mum because they trod very carefully around the subject. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind if they knew. Cam was obviously close to them and shared a lot about his life with them. If that included me and my life, I could only take that as a good sign for our relationship.

That night we’d watched some telly with them and Cole had been drawn into a history programme Andy was watching, finding Andy’s knowledge about historical events completely fascinating. He had multitasked, listening to Andy while tormenting the life out of Bryn, who loved every minute of the attention. I’d sat in the kitchen with Cam and his mum while she pulled out old baby photographs that I giggled over. Cam had been a funny-looking pre-adolescent. It was so cute.

It was all so normal.

So perfectly ordinary.

It was wonderful.

At bedtime, Cole took the couch and Cam and I crashed in his old bedroom. It had been completely preserved from his teen years: posters of bands looking a decade younger plastered over his walls, cutouts from film magazines, as well as his own drawings. Like his sketches now, they consisted of cool little cartoon paradox people. He tended to draw cartoon people in an action that was completely at odds with their physical appearance. I’d stolen one of his recent drawings, sketched on a napkin at work. It was a cartoon mercenary – big, bulging muscles, leather vest, motorcycle boots, chains, bullet clips strapped around him, headscarf, guns in holsters and a knife tucked into his boots. In his hands was a big open box of chocolates in the shape of a love heart and as he ate them he wore this dreamy, goofy smile on his face. It was now my bookmark.

Cam’s old room just exploded with his teenage personality and I loved it. I felt like a teenager myself as we began quietly making out on his bed. I’d stopped before it got too hot and heavy, refusing to have sex under his parents’ roof. He had not been pleased by this, but considering that he had the squeakiest mattress on planet earth I would not be moved on the subject.

Cuddling up with him to just fall asleep had been nice anyway. Sweet. A little bit emotional. Safe.

I’d woken up contented, to the smell of breakfast.

After stuffing us with a huge breakfast that included amazing haggis fritters, Lena was now determined to kill us. Or me. The boys looked perfectly happy with the idea of scarfing down pancakes.

‘Maybe I’ll sit these out,’ I told Lena with a wry smile. ‘I’m pretty full.’

‘Nonsense.’ She grinned back at me as she dumped the plates by the sink. ‘If you can eat all you want and still keep your beautiful figure, then you should.’

Glowing under her compliment, I rinsed the plates quickly and then put them in the dishwasher. By the time I turned around, Lena had already piled a mound of pancakes on to two plates.

‘Grab the syrups.’ She nodded to the bottles of golden and chocolate syrup.

I followed her back into the dining room and sat down, watching as everyone dug in, ignoring Bryn, who wandered from one seat to the next, her gorgeous brown eyes begging someone to drop a piece of pancakey goodness. I took one pancake to be polite, tore a piece off, and dangled it surreptitiously under the table. A gentle doggy mouth gobbled it up, licking my fingers for good measure. I immediately reached for one of the napkins in the centre of the table, ignoring Cam’s knowing smile.

‘Cam said he’s applied for a graphics job in the city,’ Andy told Lena as she settled down at her own place.

‘Oh, that’s good, son. What company is it for?’

‘It’s a website company,’ Cam replied after swallowing a mouthful of food. ‘It’s not much more money than the bar, but I’d be doing what I enjoy.’

‘And it’s better than having to commute to Glasgow or move down south,’ I added, my chest squeezing at the thought of Cam leaving.

‘True,’ Lena agreed.

‘I won’t be moving,’ Cam assured us – or me, rather, smiling at me with heat in his eyes that was unbelievably embarrassing in front of his parents. ‘I like my neighbours too much.’

I blushed, smiling.

‘Dude,’ Cole muttered, shaking his head.

‘What do you mean, dude?’ Cam asked, affronted that Cole had insinuated he wasn’t cool. ‘That was as smooth as you get, bud.’

‘Aye.’ Andy nodded, cutting a hearty bite of pancake soaked in syrup as he winked at his wife. ‘Learned it from the best.’

Before we left for the day we decided to take Bryn to the beach. It wasn’t a perfect beach. It was typical of the area, covered in pebbles, mussels, icky seaweed and seagulls. Bryn immediately took off after the gulls, diving into the cold water without a care, doggy tongue dangling from her mouth in absolute delight. It was cute that she thought the seagulls were playing with her when in truth they were barely aware of her presence until she yipped at them to say hello and frightened them into moving along. Almost like what Braden must have thought of me when we first met. I’d gushed all over him like an idiot, so determined to land the perfect man that I’d been blind to his infatuation with Joss.

As I strolled with Andy at my side, Lena, Cole and Cam off in front, playing with Bryn, I wondered who that person was that had acted like such a fool over a guy. I didn’t recognize her. I didn’t know her and I never wanted to meet her ever again.

Thanks to Cam, I didn’t think there was a remote possibility that I would.

‘He’s happy,’ Andy suddenly said, his voice low so it wouldn’t carry on the wind that was whipping my hair past my cheeks.

I tucked it behind my ear, throwing him a quizzical look. ‘Cameron?’

Andy nodded, giving me a smile, one that reached his eyes, one that was full of a surprising amount of affection. ‘I knew from the way he spoke about you on the phone that you were different. Meeting you, though, seeing you together, I know.’

Confused, I slowed down while my heart sped up. ‘Know what?’

‘My son has always been a private person. He has his family and Nathaniel and Gregor, and that’s always been enough for him. There have been girlfriends, obviously, ones he was close to, but he’s always kept his circle tight, excluding them and not even realizing it.’ Andy grinned again, his eyes on Cam, who was walking with his arm wrapped around his mum’s shoulders, grinning down into her face. ‘Not you, though. You’re in. And Cameron is … well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy.’

My heart lurched, my breath stuttering as I focused on Cam, loving the way he moved, powerful, at ease with himself, confident. Not to mention his easy affection with people, his ability to reveal how he felt about someone without caring what anyone else thought. ‘You think?’

‘Yup.’ Andy nudged me with his shoulder, a move Cameron had obviously unconsciously developed from watching his dad. ‘I’m glad he met you, Johanna.’

All the tension melted out of my shoulders and I relaxed. ‘Me too,’ I whispered, unable to mask my feelings.

Before Andy could ask me whatever probing question was brimming in his eyes, my phone rang. I apologized and tugged it out of my jacket pocket. It was Joss.

My heart stopped.

Mum?

‘Hello?’ I answered a little breathlessly.

‘Hey, you.’ Joss’s voice was quiet, unsteady.

I felt sick. ‘Is everything okay? Is Mum okay?’

‘God, yes.’ She hurried to reassure me. ‘I’m actually calling to tell you something.’

That sounded slightly ominous. ‘Something?’

‘Well … Braden proposed to me yesterday.’

WHAT? ‘Oh, my God.’

‘I said yes.’

‘What?’ I laughed happily, hearing her throaty and quite obviously pleased chuckle on the other end of the line. ‘I’m so happy for you! Congratulations, hon, and tell Braden I said “about time”!’

Her laughter warmed my frozen cheeks. ‘I will. Look, Ellie is already planning a dreaded engagement party, so, um, we’ll talk when you get back. Hope “meeting the parents weekend” has gone well.’

‘Very well. Not as well as your weekend, obviously.’

‘Yeah. Well, he paid a cab driver to be in on it and he proposed in Bruntsfield in the cab just where we met. He pulled out a ring, told me he loved me and that he’d try not to fuck it up if I tried not to fuck it up, so how could I say no?’

I snorted. ‘You couldn’t. Sounds like the perfect proposal for you.’

Her voice softened. ‘Yeah, it kind of was.’

‘So happy for you.’

‘Thanks, Jo. I’ll see you soon?’

‘Soon.’

We hung up and Andy looked at me with a quirked eyebrow. ‘Good news?’

I nodded. ‘My best friend just got engaged. She doesn’t have any family of her own, so this is amazing for her.’ Suddenly tears pricked my eyes at the thought of everything Joss was gaining, and I laughed a little weepily, feeling like an idiot.

‘What’s going on?’ Cam approached, his eyebrows drawn together in a glower. ‘Why are you upset?’

‘I’m not upset.’ I waved him off with a goofy smile and held up my phone. ‘That was Joss. She and Braden just got engaged.’

Cam grinned, hooking an arm around my neck to draw me into his side. ‘Come here, sappy girl. The brisk coastal wind will dry those tears.’

I cuddled into him. ‘Don’t you think it’s great news?’

He nodded, his eyes bright on me. ‘I think it’s brilliant news. She’s a good girl, deserves to be happy.’

God, he was lovely sometimes.

‘And Braden is a brave man. I’ll need to buy him a pint when we get back.’

Andy grunted at our side. ‘A pint for a soldier going off to war.’

Cam’s shoulders shook beneath my head. ‘Exactly.’

‘For a general surveying his battlefield and using logic against an illogical foe.’

‘Yep.’

‘For a warrior about to head into the mouth of the dragon’s cave.’

‘Definitely.’

‘For –’

‘Okay, okay, funny men,’ I interrupted with a huff. ‘Who needs a coastal wind to dry the eyes when I’m in the presence of the MacCabe sense of humour?’

Andy shot me a wry smile and then turned a full-blown grin on Cam as we drew closer to Cole, Lena and Bryn. ‘You better keep this one, son.’