Текст книги "When I Was Yours"

Автор книги: Samantha Towle

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

“What about surfing?” I say, propping my feet up on the dashboard.

We’re driving back home from Vegas, in the final stretch of our journey, and we’re talking about Adam’s options now that he’s staying in Malibu because he’s, you know, my husband.

I stop the squeal of delight from slipping out.

“What about it?” Adam glances momentarily from the road to me.

“Well, you said before that, when you were younger, you wanted to be a pro surfer. And you’re good, Adam, really good. I know Grady would help you get started, get you talking to the right people. You could begin entering local competitions, start building up your name.”

I see his mind working as he stares at the road ahead.

“You really think I could do it?”

“I think you can do anything you put your mind to.”

“I’d have to work another job while I’m doing it ’cause the winnings would be small, if any at all.”

“I’m working full-time now, and I’ll be able to pick up extra shifts if I need to, so you don’t need to worry too much.”

Now school is over, I’m full-time at Grady’s, and I know if I ask Grady for extra shifts, he’ll work something out for me.

“My woman is not keeping me,” he says in a silly caveman voice. “I keep my woman.”

“You’re a tool!” I laugh.

“Yeah, but I’m your tool.”

“Yeah, you are,” I say softly, looking down at my ring.

I’ve spent a lot of time staring at my wedding ring since Adam put it on my finger two days ago.

After we got married, we stayed in Vegas the next day, a mini-honeymoon kind of thing. Adam wanted to spend the whole day in our hotel room, having sex, but I managed to get some clothes on him for a few hours, so we could do something. There’s not much to do in Vegas when you’re too young to gamble and drink, so we ended up going to Adventuredome, which was really fun. Then, after Adventuredome, we came back to the hotel. We ordered room service for dinner and spent the rest of the night in bed, having sex, lots of it—not that I’m complaining. I’ve also learned that calling Adam my husband gets him hard, like instantly. Got to say though, hearing him call me his wife turns me on just the same.

I glance up, seeing the sign for Malibu.

Almost home.

Almost time to tell Dad that I’m married.

My stomach twists into one big knot. I’m nervous as hell to tell Dad.

“What are you thinking about?” Adam asks me.

“Me, you, us. Telling Dad we got married.” I move my eyes to him.

“Does your dad have a gun?” He glances at me.

“No,” I answer, laughing.

“Good. I can take an ass-kicking, but there’s no coming back from a bullet wound.”

“He won’t kick your ass. He only has one good working arm, remember?”

He gives me a serious look. “You only need one arm to throw a punch, babe.”

“True.” I laugh again. “But I know my dad. He’s more of a lover than a fighter. I think he’ll probably be shocked. Then, he’ll be mad that I lied to him about where I was going. But I think once we get past the all of that, it’ll be okay.” I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince here, Adam or myself. “When were you thinking of telling your parents?” I ask him.

His lips twist, a frown appearing over his brows. “I’ll call Ava once we’ve told your dad.”

“You don’t want to go see her and your dad? Tell them face-to-face?”

“No. I have no desire to see either of them. Honestly, I have no clue where they are. But wherever it is, you can bet your ass, they definitely aren’t together. I’ll call Ava, tell her that we’re married and that I’m staying in Malibu with you. I’ll let her relay the message to Eric.”

“How do you think she’ll take it that you’re not going to Harvard?”

“Honestly, I don’t think she’ll give a shit about me not going to Harvard. That’s Eric’s thing. Always has been. All Gunners have to go to Harvard,” he says in a harder, deeper voice, mimicking his father. “Me not going to work at the studio? Ava won’t like that one bit. She and Eric both. But like I give a shit. I have you, and the rest can just go to hell.” He reaches for my hand, threading his fingers through mine.

We drive the rest of the way home, our fingers entwined together.

We pull up outside my apartment building and get out of the truck.

I meet Adam around the back as he’s getting my travel bag from the trunk. I catch sight of the garment bag containing my wedding dress and get butterflies in my stomach. The dress is going back to the beach house. I didn’t think showing up at home with it would be a good idea.

Then, I’m reminded that I have to tell my dad that we’re married, and those butterflies turn to a sick feeling.

“I think we should just go to the beach house now, and I’ll tell Dad tomorrow.”

Adam laughs softly. “It’s going to be fine, babe.” He puts my travel bag down and takes me in his arms. “We’re gonna go in there and tell your dad. He’s probably going to yell. But I’ll tell him how much I love you and that I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving you and taking care of you. And he’ll see that I mean it and that we’re meant to be together. Then, he’ll calm down, and everything will be okay.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“It will be. In a few hours, you’ll look back at this moment and say, ‘God, Adam, you were so right. You’re such a genius.”

“More like cocky, I’d say.”

“Oh, I’m definitely cocky.” He pushes his hips into mine.

I slap his ass with my hand, and he chuckles deeply.

“Fuck, babe, that felt good.”

“You’re incorrigible.” I laugh as I pull away from him.

“It’s your fault,” he says, picking up my overnight bag. “Because you’re so damn hot.”

As I walk toward my building, I throw him a sexy look over my shoulder. My feet hit the stairs, and the nerves come back with a vengeance.

“Go on,” Adam urges with a push on my ass.

Taking a deep breath, I walk up the steps.

I feel like I’m walking the green mile as I walk toward my front door. My dad’s not a bad guy. He’s the best dad a girl could ask for. But I’ve never lied to him before—at least not a big lie and especially not a whopper like this.

The reality of what I’ve done is sinking in now.

Before, I was too high on the thought of marrying Adam. I was floating on a cloud.

But now, that cloud has bumped me straight back to earth.

“Ready?” Adam says when I stop outside the door.

I glance back at him. “No.” I give a weak smile. “But I have to tell him. Let’s get this over with.”

I unlock the door, letting us in. The minute I step inside the apartment, I just know something’s wrong. I can feel it, like a chill on my skin seeping to my bones. The air feels solemn. I can taste its acridity in my mouth.

I can only remember two times when I felt like this before.

The first was when I was taken into a room at school and told that my parents had been in a car accident and that my mother hadn’t made it. The second was the first day we found out that Casey had a brain tumor.

Turning into the living room, I put my handbag down, and I’m met with my dad, who is sitting on the sofa. He lifts his eyes to mine, and I just know.

“Where’s Casey?” My voice shakes a little, as my eyes work the room for a sign of her.

“She’s in her room, lying down.”

I exhale, but I don’t relax. “Dad…what’s wrong?”

Adam stands behind me, putting his hands on my arms.

Dad lets out a breath and presses his hand on his knee. Then, he looks up at me. “The appointment we had scheduled for next week for Casey’s scan results…well, the doctor’s office called first thing this morning and asked us to come in today instead.” He blows out another breath. “We just got back from there.”

“What did the doctor say, Daddy?” My eyes start to sting with tears.

He bows his head, taking in a deep breath. Then, his head starts to shake from side to side as he lifts it, looking back at me. “I didn’t call you ’cause I knew you were already on your way back, and I didn’t want to worry you in case it was nothing.”

“But it’s something.”

He nods a solemn movement. “The chemo hasn’t worked, Evie. The tumor’s grown. They’re…they’re stopping Casey’s treatment.”

Oh God, no.

“No.” I gasp. Tears start to run down my face.

Adam’s hands grip me tighter, pulling me back to him.

“No, there has to be something they can do. Wh-what about more chemo or a new drug they could try, or a clinical trial? There has to be something!”

Dad shakes his head again. “Dr. Hemmings told me he would check again on the national database for a clinical trial. But he told us not to pin too many of our hopes on it.” Dad blows out a breath. “You know how much Dr. Hemmings loves Casey. If there were something he could do for her, he would.”

Everyone loves Casey. No one more than Dad and me though.

“Daddy…”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He gets to his feet. “It’s not the doctor’s fault. He’s done everything he can for her. He’ll keep her on the drugs to make her as comfortable as possible until…”

She dies.

“No.” I turn in Adam’s arms, and he wraps them around me. I sob in his shirt.

Adam holds me tight, not saying a word. What could he say that would make this right?

Casey is going to die.

I’m going to lose my sister.

I curl my fingers into Adam’s shirt, clinging to him.

How can I go from being so happy to feeling the worst I have ever felt in my life?

This is worse than when Mom died because Casey is still here. She’s so young, and we’re going to have to watch her die.

I feel my dad’s presence behind me.

His hand touches my back. “Evie.”

Adam releases me, and I turn to my dad. He’s not crying. He’s being strong. But I can see in his eyes that it’s killing him.

I fall into his arms. “We can’t just let her die.” I cry. “We have to do something.”

“If I could do something, baby, I would. I swear to you.”

I blink up at him. “How…long?”

“Maybe four months at the most.” Tears fill his eyes this time.

“Then, there’s still time. We can find someway to save her. Maybe a new drug will come on the market.” I can feel hope trying to fight in me.

Dad’s eyes flicker to Adam behind me. Then, his hand comes to the back of my head, tilting my eyes to his. “It might. Hold on to that hope, and so will I. We’ll keep praying that something happens to save her.”

I stay in Dad’s arms for a long time. Adam goes to the kitchen and starts to make coffee.

I just want to be with my sister right now, so I leave my dad and Adam.

I walk down the hall to Casey’s room and quietly open her door.

She’s lying on her bed, facing the window. She looks so tiny there.

She is tiny and so young.

She deserves to have a life, a long life.

We lost Mom. Haven’t we lost enough without losing Casey, too?

Kicking off my shoes, I climb onto the bed behind her and put my arm around her.

She turns her head, looking back at me. “Hey,” she says.

I bite my lip to stop from crying, blinking the tears away. I need to be strong for her. “Hey.”

“Dad talked to you?”

“He did.”

She lets out a slow breath and blinks up at the ceiling. “I…don’t feel ready to die yet, Evie. I know Mom’s up in heaven, and I want to see her, but I don’t want to leave you and Dad.”

My heart cracks wide open.

I rub the tears from my eyes. “You’re not going to die,” I tell her. “Mom won’t let it happen. She loves you, but she doesn’t want you up in heaven with her. That’ll mean she has to start picking up after you again.” I smile at her, trying ease things a little.

Casey laughs softly. Her little giggle reminds me of when she was a baby, and I used to sit for hours with her, making her laugh. The memory hurts. It hurts so badly.

She curls her hand around mine, and I feel her tiny fingers hook onto my ring.

I freeze.

She lifts my hand and examines it. Then, she looks at me, her eyes wide. “You got married?”

I feel sick. I’m the worst person in the world.

Casey shouldn’t have found this out right now. I should have taken my ring off. Adam and I left our rings on because the plan was to come in and tell Dad and Casey straight away. But, of course, that didn’t happen.

“Yes,” I answer slowly.

“Holy cannoli!” She turns over to face me. “I can’t believe you got married!”

I give an uneasy smile.

“Was it in a church?”

I shake my head. “Vegas.”

“Vegas! Oh my God!” She giggles. “Does Dad know?”

“No, and we don’t need to talk about this right now. You’re more important.”

“No freaking way. We are so talking about this. And you say Dad doesn’t know? Is Adam out there right now with Dad?”

“Yes…”

“And does he have his wedding ring on?”

Shit.

“Mmhmm.”

“Then, Dad knows. He might not have spotted it right away, but I’m guessing he had other things on his mind then. Give him another five minutes, and he’ll know.”

Fuck.

But as I stare at Casey’s face, my worry evaporates. I touch my hand to her face. “You’re smiling,” I say.

“Sure I am. Dad is going to blow a gasket when he finds out that you and Adam just got married in Vegas. And that means, for a short while, we don’t have to think or talk about what’s happening with me.”

“Oh, Case.” My eyes instantly fill with tears, and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her to me.

“Just so you know, I’m a little annoyed that I didn’t get to be a bridesmaid,” she says muffled against my shoulder. “But I am happy for you.”

I hug her tighter. “We’ll have another service, maybe on the beach, and then you can be a bridesmaid. How does that sound?”

She tilts her head back, resting it on the pillow, she smiles at me. “It sounds perfect.”

As I lie here with my arms around Casey, staring into her beautiful face, I tell myself that I will make that a reality. She will be my bridesmaid. Because there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to save her. I will find a way to save my sister.

I’m losing hope.

I thought I would find some way to save Casey or that some miracle would happen or that the doctor would call and tell us he got her on a clinical trial for a new wonder drug. I convinced myself of it.

But nothing’s happened.

No miracles. No calls.

Casey is still dying.

I’m still going to lose her.

Casey was right when she said Dad would spot Adam’s ring. We had another ten minutes together before Dad knocked on the door, asking me to come out and see him.

He didn’t blow a gasket though, like Casey had hoped. He was calm, rational. He told me he was sad that I’d lied to him. I felt sick at that one.

But then he asked me if I was happy.

I didn’t feel happy at that moment. But I was happy with Adam, and I told Dad that and that I loved Adam.

Dad’s eyes got all watery again. He wrapped his arms around me and told me that was all he ever wanted for me. Then, he kissed me on the cheek and told me he was going to sit with Casey for a bit.

Adam called Ava later that day and told her that we’d gotten married. He said it didn’t go exactly as he’d expected. She didn’t yell when he told her that he wasn’t going to go to Harvard or going to work at the studio, that he was staying here. He said she told him that he’d made that choice, so he would be cut off. He told her that was what he wanted.

And that was the end of that.

She made good on her promise.

His credit cards no longer work, and his car was taken away. At least he still has the truck for a bit longer. He’d paid in advance for that, and the beach house is paid up until the end of the summer.

He has some money that he’d put into a separate bank account of his own to tide him over until he can get work. So, technically, he’s still living off his parents’ money, but it’s all he can do at the moment. And he’s been talking to Grady about the pro-surfing thing.

Life is still going on. I’m still working.

But at the same time, it feels like everything is standing still.

I feel like I’m walking with sludge most days.

Right now, I’m just getting ready to go back to the apartment to spend the night with Casey.

I’m living between the beach house and the apartment at the moment. But, for obvious reasons, I’ve been spending more time at the apartment with Casey.

I came to the beach house from Grady’s to spend some time with Adam before he goes out with Max. With me working all the hours I can and spending every spare moment with Casey, Adam and I haven’t seen much of each other these last five days since we got back.

But tonight is Adam’s bachelor party. Max insisted on it, considering he’d missed out on throwing Adam one before we got married, and he talked Adam into it with a kind reminder that he was pissed that he couldn’t be there when Adam and I got married.

That worked. So, Max has organized a night out with Grady and the guys from the Shack. They’re going to hit up some bars, and because Adam and Max are too young to drink, my husband and his best friend will be making good use of their fake IDs tonight.

Casey and my night together is going to be a mini bachelorette party, consisting of Disney movies and eating candy. And I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.

“I don’t have to go out.” Adam comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He smells freshly showered with aftershave.

Shoving the last of my dirty clothes into the laundry basket, I turn to him. I’m starting laundry before I leave because I’ve run out of clean work clothes, and I need some for tomorrow. On top of everything else, the washer at the apartment is broken.

He looks so handsome in his black shirt and blue jeans with his hair tied back from his face.

“No, go out, and have fun,” I tell him, lifting my hand to his face. I run my fingertips over his scruff.

“Well, at least let me drive you to the apartment before I go.” He turns his face into my hand, kissing my palm.

I glance at the clock on the wall, seeing the time. “You can’t. You’re going out soon. I need to put this laundry in the wash. Then, I’m gonna wait for it to finish, so I can throw it in the dryer. That way, it’ll be ready for me in the morning.”

“I can wait with you until it’s done.”

I let out a laugh. “There is no way that Max will wait an hour for my wash cycle to finish.” I press my hand to his chest. “It’s fine. I’ll get the bus.”

“I don’t like you getting the bus, and it’ll be dark out by then.”

“I know, but I’ll be fine. The stop is right outside. And Dad is going to meet me at the other end.”

He stares at me for a long moment. “Okay. But you’re gonna need these clothes in the morning?”

“Yeah, I’ll stop by before work, so I can get changed.”

“No, I’ll come to the apartment in the morning and bring your clothes to you. Then, I’ll drive you to work. Okay, wife?” He brushes his nose over mine, shifting closer.

“Yes, husband.” I grin, knowing the reaction I’ll get.

He groans, pushing his hips against mine. I can feel him getting hard already.

“God, hearing you say that…”

“I know.” I slip my hands around his back.

“Hey, fucker!” We hear Max’s voice yell up the stairs. “Taxi’s here!”

Adam lets out a sigh and then releases me.

I pick up the laundry bag, but he takes it from me, and I follow him downstairs.

Max is already outside, heading for the taxi, and the front door is open.

“Where are you meeting Grady and the guys?” I ask Adam.

“Duke’s,” he tells me. “Gonna grab something to eat first and then hit up some bars.”

“Well, have fun.”

“I’ll try.” He puts the laundry bag down and wraps his arms around me. “But it’ll be hard without you there.”

He presses his lips to mine, kissing me deep. I wrap my arms around his neck.

Breaking off, breathing heavily, he presses his forehead to mine. “Change of plans tomorrow. I’ll come pick you up earlier. You can get changed here—after I’ve finished making love to you. How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Put her down, and hurry the fuck up, Gunner!” Max shouts from the taxi. “I have some serious drinking to do and you’re wasting precious time! You’re gonna see her again in a few hours, for fuck’s sake!”

Adam glances out the door at Max. He lifts a finger, signaling a minute.

He looks back to me. “So, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You will.”

He kisses me one last time. Then, he lets me go.

“Tomorrow morning. You and me, naked.” He grins, stepping back through the open door.

I hold on to the edge of the door, leaning against it. “It’s a date.”

“Love you, Mrs. Gunner.”

“Love you, too, husband.” I smile as I enunciate the word, knowing what it does to him.

He lets out a groan before he turns away and gets into the taxi.

I watch them go, waving at them, before shutting the door.

I grab my bag of laundry and lug it to the laundry room.

Laundry is on, and I’m sitting out on the patio, sketching on a piece of paper I grabbed from Adam’s printer and a pencil I found lying next to it because I’m too lazy to go upstairs and grab my sketchpad from his bedroom. I’m catching the last of the day’s light before night draws in.

I hardly get a chance to draw anymore, so this is a nice change.

I’m doing a sketch of Adam. It’s of him looking back at me, right before he got into the taxi.

I have Adam all drawn, and I’m working on the back outline when I hear the doorbell ring.

Putting the paper down, I make my way through the house to the front door.

Reaching up on my tiptoes, I check the peephole, and my breath catches.

I take a step back.

What is she doing here? With everything I have going on at the moment, I could really do without having to deal with her.

Preparing myself I take a fortifying breath, then, I unlock the door and pull it open to the sight of Ava Gunner.

“Evie.” She smiles, but it’s as fake as every part of her.

“Adam isn’t here.” My tone is cool. I can’t help it. I hate the way she’s treated Adam, and I’m not going to pretend it’s okay, or that I like her.

“I know. I came to see you.”

I freeze. “Why?”

“We have things to discuss.”

I give a confused look. “I don’t think you and I have anything to discuss.”

“Oh, we do.”

Tired of this already, I say, “Seriously, we don’t. Now, if you don’t mind.” I go to close the door, but she presses a hand to it, stopping me.

That pisses me off. My eyes flicker to the large man standing by the limousine, who is watching our interaction with hawk-like eyes.

I bring my stare back to Ava. “Look”—I lower my voice—“I know you’re a big Hollywood star, and you’re used to having people do as you say, but I’m not one of them.”

“Really?” She tsks. “Is that any way to speak to your new mother?”

I scoff. “You’re not my mother. You’re barely Adam’s mother.”

“Evie, I’m not here to pick a fight with you. I’m here because I have a proposition for you.”

“And I’m positive that whatever you have to say, I definitely do not want to hear it.”

I’m just about to slam the door in her face when she says, “Not even if it could save your sister’s life?”

I stop the door and blankly stare back at her. “Is that a threat?”

“No. On the contrary, I’m offering a way to help save Casey. I know she’s dying. The chemotherapy didn’t work, and the doctor has stopped her treatment.”

Pain starts to crawl up my throat. “How do you know all of this?” My words are quiet, sore.

“I make it my business to know everything, especially when it comes to my son.”

“You don’t know everything.” I fold my arms, defiant. “You didn’t know we were married until he told you a few days ago, days after we had gotten married.” My words are petty, but I’m not exactly feeling mature right now.

She smiles. It’s a winner’s smile, and it sends unease crawling up my spine. “Oh, Evie, I knew the second that you got married because Adam used his credit card to pay for your little wedding, the credit card I have control of. I know everything. And I know your sister has months to live, if she’s lucky, and that the doctor has tried everything over the years to save her—surgery, radiation therapy, more surgery, chemo. Drug after drug, and nothing is working. The tumor just keeps coming back. I also know her doctor tried his hardest to get her into a clinical trial, but none were available to her.”

I’m standing here—my heart pumping in my chest, my stomach churning—because I just know that whatever it is she’s going to say is going to leave me with a choice to make.

And if it’s the choice I think it is…then I’ve already made it.

“But what if I told you that I know people? Powerful people. And they told me about this new secret clinical trial for brain cancer that’s about to start in San Francisco. It’s not known to the wider market. It’s a brand-new drug that is showing advanced results already. Life-saving results. A drug that could potentially save your sister’s life. And what if I told you that I have a place for Casey on that trial?”

Casey. A place for her on a clinical trial. That could save her life.

I won’t have to lose my sister.

I look Ava in the eyes and say, “Then, I would ask what you want in return.”

She smiles a sick, twisted kind of smile. “You’re smarter than I first had you down for, Evie. Why don’t I come inside? You can pour me a whiskey, and we’ll discuss the details.”

I stare at her for a long moment, my heart pounding, knowing I’m about to make a deal with the devil. And I know, in that deal, I’m going to lose something…someone important, really important.

But Casey…

I take a deep breath.

Then, I pull the door open wider and stand aside, letting the devil in.