Текст книги "Scorched"
Автор книги: R. Holmes
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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 10 страниц)
Hale
I wish more than anything in the world I could take this pain away from her, fuck. I wish I could carry it all for her and she would never have to feel it again. As we sit here on these pews, her tucked against my side and her sobs ringing out to the church, my heart aches. If there was ever anyone that could bring me to my knees, it’s her. The preacher walks to the podium and you can practically feel the sadness as it settles over the room. The only sounds to be heard are soft sobs coming from the people scattered across the room. Clutching Ember tighter, I kiss the top of her head and whisper how much I love her. Sometimes it feels like the world is against us, but we’re fucking determined to make it through. The pastor preaches about life and death, about life after death, and about how blessed we are to live the life we do. He’s right, we are blessed to be alive, but you shouldn’t have to fight so hard for happiness. My sweet girl shouldn’t have to fight to feel happiness in her life. All that surrounds us is heartache and tragedy. From this day forward I’ll give my last breath to bring that happiness back into her life.
Ember
Sitting in Nan’s living room after the funeral, I greet everyone who has come to pay their respects and bring sympathy food. That’s what you do in a small town: everyone will make a dish and bring it over, offering their condolences and homemade pie like it’s the answer to all your prayers. I’m exhausted and my body is close to shutting down, but B has been an angel sent from above for helping me with everything. She has organized all the casseroles and pies that have been brought, entertained the guests and been the best host. I literally don’t know what I would’ve done without her. The saying is true; blood isn’t always thicker than water. That girl has been my best friend since we were babies and she has never once betrayed me, and never once talked about me while my back was turned. Sure, we have our fights, but it’s over as soon as it starts. I can count on her to be there in any situation at any time. Those are the friends you want.
Hale hasn’t left my side since we left the house this morning. I could tell being in the church made him antsy. His body was tense and he was constantly glancing at the exits. The thought alone brings tears to my eyes. My beautiful man has been through so much. I think of my problems and compare them to his and there isn’t even anything to compare. I know he’s battling things I can’t even imagine and I know Nan’s death was hard on him too, she practically raised him.
“Ember, honey I am so sorry about your Nan. She was a great woman. Now, you let us know if there is anything that we can do!” I look up to see Mrs. Martha, the town librarian, standing in front of me. Her pink two piece suit stands out in a sea of black and momentarily, a smile graces my face. Leave it to Mrs. Martha to stand out.
“Thank you very much Mrs. Martha. Nan would appreciate you being here,” I recite for the hundredth time. She reaches down to hug me, and like a robot I respond. It feels like I’m going through the motions. It’s not that I don’t appreciate everyone’s kindness; I would just prefer to mourn alone right now. I lean back against the couch and rub my temples, trying to massage the ache that has formed.
“You need some Advil, baby?” Hale wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him, placing a kiss to the spot I was just rubbing. It’s feel like we can pick right back up where we left off and not feel a hint of awkwardness. I shake my head and lean into him. His dress blues feel stiff against my face, but my body relaxes against him.
“I think I just need to go lie down. I’m exhausted Hale. I need a moment to be alone and rest.”
I kiss his cheek and rise, making my way around the room to thank everyone and offer goodbyes. Walking up to B, I find her locked in conversation with Nashville, both speaking in hushed tones, but obviously in an argument. Tiptoeing forward I say, “Sorry to interrupt guys, I just wanted to tell you I’m going to lie down. I have a really bad headache.” B looks at me sympathetically, “No problem babe, go lay down I have everything handled. I love you.” She pulls me into a hug and I tuck my face into her neck, wrapping my arms around her small frame. “I love you too B. Thank you for all your help.” I mean it more than anything. Today would have been a disaster without her and Hale here to help.
I pull away from her and turn to give Nash a quick hug too. I’m not sure what these two have going on, but I sure hope that they fix it. I think they’re good for each other. B’s head is always in the clouds and she needs someone to help keep her grounded. That’s why I’m the conservative one in our friendship. After making my rounds I finally head up the worn, creaky stairs to my old room. I look around and nothing has changed. Nan said she could never take any of it down because this would always be my home no matter how old I was. I sit on the twin bed and look around at the walls of all the memories that sit in front of me. Pictures of high school dances, birthday parties, awards from school, and of course hundreds of pictures of Hale and I. Just seeing him back in town, living in his old house and knowing why he’s here right now causes pain in my heart. Even though I have wished and prayed for so long for God to bring him back to me, even when things seemed hopeless, I can’t help but question if his heart is truly in it. He’s gone from hot to cold and I just can’t keep up. I don’t expect him to act like he was never gone, and I don’t expect him to open like a book for me. I know it’ll be hard, but I know it’ll be worth it. I truly believe our love could survive anything. Reaching down I remove the black six inch heels that B insisted I wear with this dress. Not only is my head pounding, but my feet are sore and aching. Tossing the shoes aside I see the overnight bag B packed for me on the old cherry oak dresser. I rise from the bed and gingerly walk over to it, wincing with each step. I hate heels; I swear I’m not meant to be a female.
Running my fingers along the dresser I see the picture of Nan and I at my graduation. She’s holding me tight against her, her smile shining. I run my finger over her face as the tears begin to fall from my eyes. I bring my hand to cover my mouth and try to hold the sob from escaping. God, I don’t know how to live without her. She’s raised me pretty much my entire life and my heart hurts knowing she’s gone. Sinking to the floor, I lean back against the dresser and close my eyes, not bothering to wipe away the tears. I hear the door open and quickly shut, and I see Hale walk through. He walks up to me in long strides and uses both arms to gather me off the floor, setting me onto the old twin bed.
I hear him moving around the room, and then it’s dark. I feel the bed dip and him slide in beside me, his body warm and familiar. He drags me against his body, settling his arm around my waist and his lips against my hair. There are a lot of things I haven’t experienced in life. There are things I don’t understand, like Nan dying. But if there’s anything that I do know, it’s that I belong with Hale Jarreau. His soul was made to fit with mine.
“I love you.” I whisper to him.
“I love you, Sweet Girl. So fucking much it takes my breath. I’m not going anywhere Ember, I’ll be here forever. I swear it to you.” His arms tighten around me as if to prove what he’s saying. As if his touch is the answer.
Hale
It took all of ten minutes for her breathing to even out and her body to relax, finally in a deep sleep. I clutch her tighter to me and press kisses against her hair. She wrecks me. I swear she owns every fucking piece of me. All the fucked up pieces of me. My sweet girl is my salvation. If there is any chance of ever having a normal, peaceful life, it’s with her. I don’t know what the next few days will hold. Who knows what’s going to happen to the house, and neither of us have read the letters Nan left. I don’t think she could take it right now. Fuck, I don’t know if I could take it.
I doubt there’s any chance of sleep gracing me, but I’ll lie here all night if it’s just to hold her. The little moans she’s making in her sleep are making my dick hard as a rock, wrong time and place, but fuck, I can’t help it. She brushes against me with her plump little ass and what am I supposed to do? Groaning I separate myself from her slightly, not wanting to stir her from sleep. I’m sure she would appreciate my dick grinding against her at a time like this. Jesus Hale.
I quietly get up from the bed and reach for the quilt at the bottom of the bed, covering her body with it. I take a second to glance at the walls that are covered with our memories. The time in life that was so innocent and free. The only care in the world was if Dad was going to be home that night and if so, Nan’s house was an escape. I never had the chance to tell Ember, but Nan was the first one I visited when I came back to Dad’s. I talked to her for hours, only leaving when it was almost midnight. Even then, I wished for more time with her. She told me to face Ember with courage, not to hide behind the problems and demons I carried home with me. I know she’s looking down at us, smiling that ultimately she was the one to bring us together; not that there was ever truly a question that I was coming for Ember.
“Hale?” I hear Ember whisper softly from the bed.
“Yeah, baby. I’m here. I was just looking at all these pictures.” Walking back towards the bed, I sit on the edge, looking over at her body bathed in the moonlight. She rolls over to face me, bringing her hand to run across my jaw.
“I like this.” She says, running her fingers over the stubble resting on my jaw.
“Well I’m glad that you like it.” I lie back down beside her and pull her body against mine. She smells like rain, and something that belongs just to her. I’ll never forget that smell as long as I live. I swear when I would lay in the barracks I could close my eyes and smell her. I could never get her off my mind, she was a constant fixture; the only peace I experienced for so long.
Running my fingers through her hair, I struggle to find the right words. I don’t know how to make this pain any easier for her, even if there were right words to say.
“I know it’ll be hard Em, but tomorrow you need to decide what’s going to happen to the house. Nan left it to us both. I would never make a decision without you and I’ll support whatever you decide. I know it’s the last thing you want to think about baby, but we can do this together... And no, we haven’t talked about this, or us or any of it, but I won’t leave you, Em.” Pausing, I lean down and press my lips against hers. “I know I hurt you Ember, and fuck I’m moresorry than you know... I just have demons that I have to deal with. I have shit to work through that you can’t ever imagine and I just can’t stand the thought of tainting all of your goodness with the fucked up shit that comes along with me. I tried so hard to stay away from you. Every waking moment you consume my thoughts and I just couldn’t Ember, it’s like the night chasing the day... Seeing you on the floor in that hospital brought me to my knees. I can’t stand the thought that something could happen to you and I’m not there to save you. While I was in Afghanistan, you’re the only thing that kept me sane; the only thing that gave me hope in the pits of hell. I wish I could say that I left it all over there, but I didn’t, fuck not even a little. It haunts me Ember, every fucking day of my life. I’m working through it as hard as I can, but some days I worry I’ll never have peace back in my life. The only peace I ever feel is with you. I know I fucked up baby, but you’re it for me. I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving that to you if you give me the chance. I know things aren’t the same, but I still feel the same as I did when we were ten. I want to know you again Ember. I want to take you on dates and hold your hand... and I want to know all the things that make you laugh, even the things that make you sad. I know I’ll fuck up along the way, but know it’s because I’m trying to heal myself, but never doubt what I feel for you is real. You fucking own me, Sweet Girl. Every piece of my black heart belongs to you, for as long as you’ll have it. And even if you won’t, I’ll spend the rest of my days loving you.” My chest feels lighter after finally telling her everything I’ve been holding inside since I saw her lying lifeless on that floor. Her eyes shine back at me with tears, the blue like a faraway sea and she pounces, her hands grasping both sides of my face, pulling me to her and sealing her mouth to my own.
Ember
I never expected for those words to leave his mouth. Sure, he’s thrown his I love you’s around a few times, but never did I expect the depth of what he had to say. As the words left his mouth, all I could do was bite my lip to keep the tears at bay. They welled behind my eyes, begging for release. For so long I have craved those words, they have haunted my dreams. Those unruly locks I wanted to run my hands through, begged for my fingers. His top lip was fuller than his bottom lip and each time his tongue darted out to wet them, I clenched my thighs together. We’ve endured so much in the year’s together, heartache, separation, pain, revenge... But the one thing that would never change is my body’s need for his. His body played mine like a well-tuned instrument.
As soon as the words leave his mouth, I’m on him, his lips against mine; drinking in the taste I’ve so desperately craved. My body fits perfectly against his and I can feel his erection digging into my stomach. He truly has no idea how long I’ve wanted this.
Hale
Fuck, I feel like I could cum in my pants like a fucking teenager. Hearing her little breathy moans and exhales are enough to drive me over the edge. I bring my hands from her hair, down her sides and pull her hips against mine. My dick rubs against her stomach and I feel my balls draw up tight. Fuck, I’m really going to embarrass myself if I don’t control myself.
“Ember, tell me to stop. Fuck, I can’t stop.” I whisper against her skin that feels aflame against my lips, as if I’m the one lighting her up... Her tight little body fits perfectly against mine and the curves and nooks were made for me to explore with my tongue, over and over. I lay her back against the small bed that barely holds our bodies; I can feel every contour her body holds. Dropping my forehead to hers, I bring my lips down on hers, groaning as I feel my dick brush against her.
“Ember, I’m going insane. I want to bury myself so far inside you, I ache.” I bring my lips from her jaw, down the sensitive skin behind her ear, to the crook of her neck. My tongue drawing a path to her collarbone, nipping, sucking and marking her as mine. There’s nowhere else I can imagine that feels like home. Running my hands along the underside of her beautiful tits that beg for my lips, I lift her dress above her hips. I look towards her to make sure I’m moving in the right direction and that she wants this as much as I do, and I see the desire burning in her eyes. I see the way she pulls her lip between her teeth as if to hold back the moan that I want so desperately to claim. I pull the silk dress above her head, tossing it aside and leaving her in nothing but a tiny scrap of lace to match her bra. I kiss down her chest and push the cups down, finding the hard peaks of nipples that are begging to be sucked and close my mouth around one. Pulling it into my mouth, sucking and biting the tip lightly, I hear her moan my name, and my dick gets harder. Never in my life has my name sounded so perfect coming from her mouth. Fuck, my dick is practically busting through the zipper. Moving my attention to the other perfectly round mound I give her the same attention, sucking the pert, pink nipple into my mouth. Her touch is driving me out of my mind with need and she arches against me, bringing her closer against my cock. Our bodies move together in a frenzy as if on their own accord. Her hands reach under my shirt and her nails drag across my abdomen, and I feel them contract to her touch. Reaching behind me, I grasp the neck of my shirt and pull it over my head, tossing it away somewhere in the dark. Who gives a fuck?
“Hale, I want you... please.” My sweet girl begs as I suck the tender flesh of her neck into my mouth, hard enough to leave a mark. Suddenly, she sits upright and pushes me onto my back. Her thighs straddle my hips and she begins kissing a line down my chest only stopping to suck my nipple into her mouth. Fuck, Jesus Christ. Seeing her take charge has got to be the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. That’s it baby, show me your sassiness. Continuing her path, her little pink tongue darts out to leave a trail of heat down my abdomen and she begins working the dress pants down my hips and I kick them aside, leaving me in nothing but my boxer briefs.
I gently grab her nape to stop her movements. This isn’t how the first time I’ve been inside her in five years should go. She deserves to be worshipped, I want to devote all my time to making her body mine. I want to feel her cum against my face as I send her over the edge, her body writhing beneath me and thighs clamped tight. I want to take my time with her body, learning every new freckle and dip that I’ve missed. Sitting up, I pull her in my lap and I feel her heels digging into my back, her breaths coming in soft pants against my lips, the sound enough to do me in.
“I’ve done everything wrong Ember, this is the one thing I need to do right. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life, but I will do right by you. Let tonight just be about you, okay?” I whisper against her skin, dipping my mouth to her chest and nipping a downward path. Throwing her head back my name leaves her lips like a prayer, and I reach behind and unclasp her bra, freeing it from her shoulders. Pressing kisses against her shoulders, I lay her body beneath me and close my eyes, taking a moment to revel in the feel of her skin slick with sweat against mine. My tongue travels to the lace that sits between her legs and I run my nose across the front, drawing a moan from her lips. Her hands fist in my hair, bringing me closer against her center that’s soaked through the material. Fuck, she smells like heaven and I can’t wait to put my mouth on her. I slide my fingers under the straps, drawing them down her hips and she lifts to help me slide them off.
Seeing her laid out beneath me wearing nothing but a smile will be forever burned into my memory, forever a taste on my tongue. The most perfect sight I’ve ever fucking seen. I bring my mouth to her pussy and swipe my tongue in one long lick. Her body arches completely off the bed and her hands begin to fist the sheets. That’s right baby, I fucking do this to you. I own this body. When I’m done, you’ll never forget it.
Chapter 3
Ember
Never in my life have I wanted someone as bad as I do right now. Seeing Hale’s head between my legs is a sight I never ever want to forget. He’s devouring me like I’m his last meal. I feel my body tighten around his fingers as he curls one upward, touching a spot inside me I never knew was there. My hands fly to his hair reflexively, pushing him closer to me and I feel myself chasing the best orgasm of my life. Is it because of Hale’s deliciously perfect mouth or the fact that I’m with the love of my life who knows my body better than I ever could? Both.
“That’s it baby, give it to me. I want it. C’mon Sweet Girl.” He grumbles against my flesh, causing shivers to run down my spine. The second his mouth closes around my clit, I’m gone. He lights my body up like a firestorm, the heat consuming us both. Only he can take me to a place like this. My orgasm courses through my body and I’m screaming his name. The words tumble from my lips as if they have a mind of their own.
“Haaaale, fuck. Ahhh,” The aftershocks continue to rock my body as he drags his tongue in lazy motions, his fingers still buried inside me. After what seems like forever he begins to plant kisses upwards towards my chest, his teeth grazing my skin lightly, and tongue soothing the bites as he goes.
“That was all you baby. The first of many and you are fucking perfect.” He whispers against my lips then captures them in a searing kiss. I never thought of what I would taste like on his lips, but the second his tongue slides inside my mouth, all thoughts leave my mind except the feel of his stubble against my cheeks, and his fingers dancing across my flesh.
“I love you. I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick. Don’t move, not a muscle.” He grins as he hops up from the bed, snagging his briefs on the way to the bathroom.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to move from this bed. Maybe a few days from now, which is perfectly fine by me. I hear the toilet flush and he walks back towards the bed. My mind is still filled with sex and even after the mind blowing orgasm he so graciously delivered all I can think of is him inside me. My eyes drift close and I burrow further into the covers, feeling sated and relaxed. I feel the bed dip and his warm body against my own as he pulls me to him.
“Get some sleep, baby.” My body is hauled half on top of his own with my head resting on his chest. I can’t remember the last time I felt so relaxed and safe. Finally, sleep consumes my body and my last thought is his heartbeat against my ear.
The next morning, I wake to the sun streaming through the window directly onto my body, which explains why I’m burning up. I forget that I’m staying at Nan’s and not at my apartment with the blackout curtains. Stretching, my body feels deliciously tight and sore in all the best places, reminding me of last night with Hale. I sigh and glance around the room, noticing no sign of him or Deacon. I throw the covers off my body and get out of bed., Heading towards the dresser to find something to cover my still naked body. I see Hale’s bag on the floor by the door and I pad towards it and search for a t-shirt. Finally, I find an old “US MARINES” shirt towards the bottom and pull it over my head. I pick my panties up from the floor and slip them on. Thankful the shirt falls almost to my knees. I’m thinking of the soreness between my thighs as I walk to the bathroom and grab the toothbrush from the holder. I quickly brush my teeth and run my fingers through my hair, which looks like a rats nest. I guess being in love with the same person for over half your life will still have its insecurities. I toss the toothbrush back into the cup and head to the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time.
I see Hale at the stove cooking us breakfast for the second time this week. It’s smells amazing and my stomach gurgles with that thought.
“You know a girl might get used to this Mr. Jarreau. Two days in one week?” Walking up behind him I wrap my arms around his waist and drop a kiss between his shoulder blades before taking a seat at the table.
“Well I aim to please Sweet Girl.” He walks up, plate in hand, and gives me the sweetest kiss at the corner of my lips, causing my cheeks to heat. It seems so domesticated and married life like. Not at all how I expected things to go between us.
“Do you always wake up before the sun rises?” I say between bites of scrambled eggs.
“Most days. I only sleep a few hour a night... The nightmares... It’s just hard to get any sleep.”
“We have to meet the lawyer today in town. sSo, I’m going to go home and shower. I have some projects I was working on.” He picks his plate up and brings it to the sink, rinsing and putting it in the dishwasher.
“Sounds good. I’m going to head to my apartment and do some cleaning and I need to catch up on school work. I only have a few more days of fall break.”
He walks over and grabs my face with both hands and steals the breath right from my lungs with a kiss meant to make my knees weak. Pulling back he rests his forehead against mine, his eyes never leaving mine, “We’re in this together Ember. Every day I’ll show you that I’m here to stay. I’ll fight everybody who stands in our way. We’ve been given a second chance and I won’t lose it.”
The tears burn behind my eyes and all I can do is nod. I bury my face in his chest and let the tears flow, silently thanking God for bringing this beautiful man back to my life. I’ll take him in whatever way I can get him. We stay like this for a while before my tears dry and I detach myself from him. I press my lips against his and whisper, “I love you.” Grabbing my hand we ascend the stairs to gather the stuff we have strewn everywhere. “I’ll pick you up at your apartment around four. We should be early just in case.” He tells me as I shove the dress back into my bag and pull out the only pair of jeans I packed. Slipping them on I see Hale’s heated gaze on me. The look on his face shows he’s trying to keep himself composed. I button them up and slide on the sandals I had packed, and we make our way back down the stairs. Hearing Deacon barking, I grab my keys and bag and open the door. Hale goes out before me, pausing to give me one last kiss before I shut the door and lock it behind me. I press the key fob to unlock my car, throw the bag in the trunk and get inside. I’m not looking forward to this meeting, but I know it’s necessary. I’m just hoping I can make it through the entire thing without the tears.
At exactly four I hear Hale knock on the door. I’m running behind because I got caught up in my psychology paper and I didn’t step into the shower until a minute ago. Poking my head out from the curtain I yell, “Come in!” I pop my head back in and I grab the shampoo, lathering my hair. I’m trying to hurry, but I’m also enjoying the quiet time all to myself. I quickly rinse the soap from my hair and grab the pink loofah Nan gave me for Christmas. My heart pains with the thought of her and my eyes well with tears as I grab the body soap.
Trying to rush, I quickly shower and grab the towel from the rack, wrapping it tightly around my body. I step out and I see him laid on my bed with a picture frame in hand.
“Sorry, I’m trying to hurry!” I head to my closet and grab the first thing I see; jeans and a dark brown sweater I swiped from B’s closet. I walk to the dresser and grab panties and a bra and turn towards the bathroom, but Hale’s voice halts me.
“I remember the day this was taken. I remember how happy you were to start our lives and leave everything behind. What happened Ember? What did I ever do to deserve this fucked up shit?” He says, his voice barely above a whisper. Turning to him, I see the pain etched on his face. I walk towards the bed and sit down on the edge, grabbing the picture from his hand. It’s the picture that was taken the day after graduation and I remember it too. Everything was simple back then. I do wish Hale never had to leave, but I know everything happens for a reason.
“All we can do is move on from it Hale, we can’t let the ugly consume us. Like you told me last night, we’ve been given a second chance and all we can do is embrace it. We have to fight back, Hale. We can’t let this rip us apart any further.”
Reaching for me he runs his thumb over my lip in soft swipes, “I’ll fight forever, Ember Ann.” He sits up and pulls me to him, pressing his lips against mine. Within seconds my body comes to life and I press my thighs together to dull the ache that’s forming.
Pulling away he says, “We’re late Em, go put your clothes on so we can leave.” I grab the towel to keep it together and get off the bed. I feel his hand connect with my ass cheek through the towel and I look back to see a boyish grin on his face.
“Watch it Hale Jarreau. I know where you sleep at night.” I laugh and pick my clothes up, walking towards the bathroom.
Sitting in the old musty office of Sherman Dougherty with Hale’s hand clasped tightly in mine, we wait to hear what the will says. Mr. Sherman is a tall man, with kind eyes and a bright smile who doesn’t look a day over 80. His secretary Andrea sat us in his office and offered refreshments for our wait. Not long after, Mr. Sherman walks in, thick envelope in hand and sits down at his desk. He reaches out, shaking both of our hands, and pulls several papers out of his folder.
“I just want to start by saying how very sorry I am for your loss. My job is never easy and the friendships I make along the way are ones that I keep for a lifetime. Your Nan was a very special woman and I appreciate the time that I got to know her. She has asked me to have her will read aloud to you both and then to divvy her assets between you both. Hale, she couldn’t have been happier to have you back in her life. Says it was a blessing from God above.” Pausing, he clears his throat and begins reading
“I know you’re probably wondering why in the world I brought you all the way down here to have you listen, but that’s exactly what you need to do is listen. I want to apologize to you Ember, for not telling you that Hale was alive. I am so sorry, my baby girl, for the pain that you have endured. You need to be strong for me and I need you to be strong for Hale. That man loves you more than you will ever know and I want you to always remember, even when it feels hard to, that he fought to make it back to you. No matter what demons, heartache, or fights you have to battle, always keep that in your heart. I brought you here together to tell you both that I love you and that I will always be with you. You two have faced more in a lifetime then what even seems imaginable, but you’re here now, together, and that’s all that matters. I want you to never give up on one another and keep my memory alive around this time. Do you hear me? Don’t you let Mr. Barker starve. Bring him some dinner a few times a week. He’s as alone as I was and he was a very dear friend to me. I’m leaving you both my house. You are free to do what you please with it, but I think I know what decision will rest in your heart. All of my assets have been divided accordingly and the only request that I have is to be happy. Live your lives in a way that you’ll never forget the beautiful memories that you’ve had. I love you both very, very much and I’m so sorry that I won’t be here to see my grandchildren.
