Текст книги "Scorched"

Автор книги: R. Holmes

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Scorched

R Holmes

Contents

Copyright

Dedication

Prologue

1. Part One:

2. Chapter 1

3. Chapter 2

4. Part Two:

5. Chapter 1

6. Chapter 2

7. Part Three:

8. Chapter 1

9. Chapter 2

10. Chapter 3

11. Chapter 4

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously.

Scorched. Copyright © 2015 by R. Holmes.

All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the publisher.

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For those who let love redeem them.

"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine."

– Maya Angelou

Prologue

They always say the first cut is the deepest; that the first love is a love you never forget... it’s always there in the back of your mind; something you never can quite push all the way out. I never thought of life without him, until the choice was no longer mine. Each day was like sucking in enough air to survive, but never enough to feel at ease. It was one foot in front of the other, and no matter how many steps I took, it’s never getting ahead. It felt like the weight of the world was crashing down, constantly.

I remember being seven years old, the innocence of the world surrounding me, running next door banging on his door when I could hear his daddy screaming. Even at seven my heart was that boys’. Looking back, every memory I have has a piece of him. Living without him never seemed like an option.

Part One:

“He’s more myself than I am, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. – Emily Bronte

Chapter 1

Ember

11 years old

“Ember promise me. Promise me you’ll go home and won’t come back. Promise me right now!” Hale screams, pushing my long brown locks back from my face. “Promise me or I’m going to tell your Nan it was you that stole ole’ man Barker’s pecans.” “I promise Hale, I pinky swear it,” I nod my head, screaming back. It seems impossible to make a promise like that, to just leave him here all alone, but he never yells at me, and I know he means it. I turn and run back to Nana’s as fast as my trembling body can carry me, flying through the front door, tripping up the stairs, the sweat running soaking my old t-shirt. I run towards the window facing Hale’s house, hoping he gives me our sign soon. I’m scared, but I promised, I pinky swore. We never break our promises.

I’ve lived next to Hale Jarreau for as long as I can remember. He moved in the summer before first grade, all the way from Michigan. He was all boy: front teeth missing, and dark hair constantly falling in his eyes. The first thing he ever said to me was, “Hey sweet girl,” grinning that toothless smile. Nan said he was the most charming little boy from here to New Orleans. We’ve been best friends ever since the day I fell out of Nana’s tree and broke my arm. He ran to me and held my hand, telling me that big girls don’t cry. It seemed like since that day, Hale has been a permanent part of my life. His dad has been a drunk ever since his mama died last year, so he eats dinner with us at least three times a week. I think if he didn’t sit at our dinner table, he would never get a proper meal. His daddy is a police officer with the department right up the street and works long hours, and when he is home he doesn’t pay Hale much attention. Seems like it’s always been that way and Nan’s got a soft spot for that boy and can’t tell him no for anything.

When I was two years old my mama and daddy died in a car accident on the way home from the grocery store. I wasn’t old enough to understand what really happened or why. I’ve lived with Nan ever since then; her and my pawpaw took me in without batting an eye. He passed away the summer before Hale moved in from a heart attack. Nan was sad for a long time after that, but one day she just got up and decided it was time to move on with her life; said she had to be there for me and then that night she took me for ice cream. Sometimes, when I’m getting ready for bed, she tells me stories of Mama and Daddy and Pawpaw. Right before Pawpaw passed away, him and Nan put me in the ballet class at the studio in town. He always said that I was the prettiest ballerina he’d ever seen. He never missed a recital or practice, driving from the town over just to make it. When he passed away, I didn’t like to dance for a while. Nan said I needed to be a strong girl and get out there and show Pawpaw how good I had gotten. She said every day he was looking down at me and I needed to make him proud. This year will be my sixth year dancing and I get to start with my toe shoes. Now Hale comes to all of my recitals and practices and he’s never missed one. He doesn’t care much that all the boys at school make fun of him for watching ballet, he comes because he knows how much I love to dance. I think part of it is he doesn’t want to be home with his daddy. He would rather be with Nan and me any day.

Once, I asked Hale why his daddy was so mean to him and why he yelled at him all the time. He told me, “I dunno Ember, I think he’s mad that he got stuck with me when mama died. I think he blames me for it.” It hurt my heart knowing that Hale thought that about his daddy. That day I grabbed his hand, and told him that no matter what I would always be his friend, and he could always come to Nan’s anytime he felt scared or wanted to get away from him.

Lately, Hale hasn’t been coming around as much. Today, when I knocked on his door, I heard his daddy screaming at him and when Hale came out he shut the door and grabbed my arm. Hurriedly, he pulled me down the stairs, “Em you can’t be here right now. My dad’s hollerin’ and I don’t want to piss him off anymore. You need to go back to Nan’s and do not come back here no matter what. I’ll come by tonight. Okay?” He whispers.

“Hale just come to Nan’s and eat dinner with us. Sneak out back, he won’t even notice you’re gone. C’mon.” Grabbing Hale’s hand, I start to pull him towards the house.

“Ember stop. I can’t, I need you to go home. Go. I promise I’ll come to you, but I need you to go.” I don’t understand what’s going on. “Promise me you’ll stay home Emmie,” he whispers.

“Why are you whispering Hale what is going on? Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”

“HALE MICHAEL! WHERE ARE YOU BOY?!”

We both look up, hearing his daddy scream. “Em promise me. Promise me right now!”Hearing Nan holler bath time, I pull myself from my thoughts. I’ve been thinking about today all day and I still haven’t seen Hale. I’m worried. Lying in bed that night, I listen to the crickets chirping, whispering my prayers. Hale never comes.

The next morning, I wake up drenched. I tossed and turned all night; the nightmares running through my mind on replay. Every Sunday morning we go to church together. He’s always waiting for us by the car right before we leave. Nan says we have to be right with God, so the only Sunday we’ve ever missed is when I got pneumonia. I run downstairs to Nan and tell her I’m worried about Hale. I never heard from him. “I’ll go on over there if he isn’t ready for church by 9:30, now go put on your church dress”, she replies as she finishes putting the rollers in her hair. I roll my eyes and head to my room to get ready.

By 9:15 I’m dressed in my pink church dress, my hair in braids and black Mary Janes on. I’m standing at the tall window in the living room waiting on Nan. She is going next door to get Hale, but said I had to wait here. Biting my thumb nail absentmindedly, I watch her walk across the yard and knock on the door. Finally, after what feels like forever, the door opens and Hale slips out. I immediately run out the door, half tripping down the stairs to get to him. “Hale why is your arm in that cast, what happened? What’s wrong? Nan what’s going on?” I scream, my voice rising in octaves, the worry evident on my face. His eye is black and blue and his arm is in a long, black cast... Which wasn’t there yesterday.

“Ember it’s okay, I just tripped going down the stairs,” he whispers, eyes cast downwards. “Hale Michael no you didn’t, don’t you tell me lies!” Nan hisses. “Your daddy home last night?” She asks as she pulls him into her arms.

“Yes ma’am,” Hale says, looking back towards the door. Little did we know, it wouldn’t be the last broken bone that Hale Jarreau would get.

October 2008

My favorite time of the year is fall. There’s something beautiful about the seasons changing, the leaves falling all around, and the weather getting cooler. Being from the south, we don’t really have a “cold” winter. It stays hot until the end of October, sometimes even November, but we get to watch the seasons fade. Today is Halloween and just like every year since forever, Hale and I will be at the All Hallows Carnival. Every year the town puts on a carnival on Halloween for the kids to go to once they’ve finished trick or treating. Hale insists we go, so here we are.

“C’mon, Ember. Funnel cake alone is worth it. Let’s go,” Hale says as he drags me through the gate. I roll my eyes and pull back. “You are such a juvenile.” I laugh as he grabs me by my nape and pulls me forward, capturing my lips with his, stealing all the breath from my lungs. Pulling me closer, he sighs against my mouth like he’s been dying of thirst and I’m his first drink in years. “I’ve waited to do that for ever, sorry it took me so long sweet girl.”

First kisses are usually awkward, full of fumbling, nervous laughs, bumped teeth, but Hale kisses me like he’s been doing it his whole life. Like he was made for it. There’s nothing awkward about the way my body fits next to his. There’s no awkwardness as he tucks my face in his neck and whispers, “I love you,” into my hair. We just fit, two halves of a whole. Exactly where we are meant to be.

“Let’s go ride the Ferris wheel,” Hale whispers in my ear. I laugh lightly at the shivers running down my body.

“If you insist,” I smart back to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the ride. We get to the line, holding hands until it’s time for the ticket holder to take our tickets and Hale hands them over. I climb in and look back at Hale, “Eyes up here mister,” I reprimand, as his eyes move from my ass, up the length of my body. He throws his hands up, “Not me,” he laughs, settling in beside me. I lean back against the seat, enjoying the smell of the carnival food and the crisp air against my cheeks. Hale throws his arm around my shoulders and pulls me snuggly against his side.

“Do you ever think about why God put us together Em? Think about it. If my dad would’ve never taken the position at CPD, then I would have never met you. I really think it all happens for a reason Ember, every decision brought me here to you,” he says, staring out at the city beyond us.

Hale was like a breath of fresh air in my life. No matter the circumstances he came from, he makes the best of it. He takes all the terrible things that have happened to him and he finds a way to look beyond it. He finds the beauty in everything broken. He’s the person we all look to, to shed light on us in the darkness.

April 2009

Tonight Hale came knocking on the door in the pouring rain right after supper. His eyes were black and blue, his lip split open, and his hand clutched his ribs. Nan’s clutching her heart saying, “this is going to stop today Hale!” and I’m not stupid... I know she means Hale’s daddy. Tears well in my eyes seeing him so bruised and broken before me. I hate Cole Jarreau for every bruise he’s left on Hale’s body, every broken bone, every hateful word... It’s not fair, just because he is a police officer he gets away with hurting him. It’s not right for everyone to turn a blind eye. I know how much Hale hates when I bring it up, but I can’t keep biting my tongue, something has to give.

“Hale you need to come stay here with us. You can’t let him do this shit to you anymore… You have to fight back or leave!” I scream, exasperated.

“He’ll just come get me Ember, give me some bullshit spiel about how he’s my legal guardian,” Hale replies, shaking his head, groaning at the movement, and clutching his ribs.

“Come on, let’s at least clean you up,” I whisper. My heart feels like it’s breaking in two. The pain feels almost crippling. There’s a special kind of pain reserved for not being able to stop the hurt that the people you love are feeling. I feel helpless.

Nan, I’m going to clean Hale’s lip up. I’ll set him up on the couch,” I yell towards the kitchen. I grab Hale’s hand and guide him to the bathroom where I point to the toilet, “Sit.” He slowly lowers himself to the seat, wincing in pain as he looks up at me. I brush the hair from his eyes and tell him, “Hale, this has to stop. You can’t keep living this way. We have to do something to get you out of there. Anything. You know Nan will let you have the couch.”

“No, Em. I’m going to be okay. It’s no worse than the last time, he’s just angry from being laid off from the force,” he replies, pulling me to him gently, wrapping his arms around my middle. “I love you sweet girl, my angel.” This kind, beautiful boy has no idea the light he shines on everyone around him.

August 2010

I always thought turning eighteen would be a miraculous change from child to woman, but waking up this morning, I don’t feel much different. I yawn and start making my way to the window to look for Hale. He turned eighteen last week, so we decided to spend today down at the river celebrating both of our birthdays. I head to my dresser, throwing clothes everywhere, looking for my favorite black bikini. I snatch it up, and toss everything back inside. Walking to the bathroom, I pick my cell up and send him a text.

Me: Ready when you are lazy!

Hale: Been up since 7 sweet girl, working in the shop. Happy Birthday beautiful, love you forever.

If there is one thing that Hale loves, it’s that damn Camaro. A 1967, black Camaro SS. He’s been restoring it for close to a year and I can’t wait to ride down 447 with my hair blowing in the wind, feet on the dash, with Tim McGraw blaring through the speakers. It’s the little things.

Meet me downstairs in 5.

Tossing my phone on the bed, I slip my bikini top on and pull my bottoms up. Rummaging around my dance bag for my sunglasses, I quickly find them and sashay downstairs. “Bye Nan, love you,” I yell, jogging towards the front door. As I’m running out, I grab my rubber boots that lean against the wall.

“Happy birthday baby girl, be careful down there. Be back for dinner, don’t be late,” she yells from the kitchen.

“Love you more Nan,” I say over my shoulder. Shutting the door behind me, I pull on my glasses and boots and run towards Hale. He catches me, pulling me close while I wrap my legs around his waist. “I missed you,” I breathe into his mouth.

“Missed you, Sweet Girl,” he whispers, catching my bottom lip between his teeth, lightly nipping. “Missed these.”

“Let’s go baby,” he says lowering me to my feet. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards the field.

We walk slowly down to the river, enjoying just being able to have a moment alone which is few and far between.

“Race you to the rope swing?” Hale asks.

“Nope, because I’ve already won,” I laugh, taking off full speed towards the swing. I hear him run up behind me and then I feel him slide his arms around my waist. “No you don’t, you little cheat,” he whispers in my ear as he kisses down my neck. I groan in frustration. Freeing of his arms, I step to the river bank letting my toes soak into the warm, wet sand.

Hale walks up behind me and pulls me down into his lap, wrapping his arms around me. “I love you Em, Happy Birthday.”

“It’s perfect Hale, any day I spend with you is perfect. Let’s go up to the cabin for the day. We never get any time by ourselves,” I laugh into his neck, running my lips down the side; biting and sucking a path to his collar bone.

“You sure Em? We don’t have to do anything until you’re ready, I’ll wait forever if I have to,” he says softly, holding my body close to his.

“Hale Michael, do you doubt me?” Smirking, I stand, offering him my hand. “Let’s go, now.”

He takes my hand, leading me to the Camaro. Opening my door he helps me inside, “After you my lady.” We head down 447 to the old cabin my Nan and Pawpaw have in the woods, where pawpaw used to go hunting. We come here sometimes to go fishing or just spend time alone.

I barely make it in inside the door and Hale’s hands are on me, all over me. He runs his hands down my side and yanks me to him. Moving my hair from my neck, he kisses behind my ear and continues down my neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. His tongue leaves a trail of heat on my skin and I whimper his name. He looks in my eyes, “Are you sure Ember?” The look in his eyes is a look of pure desire. I can feel the heat from his body as he presses against me and I can feel his erection digging into my stomach. My answer? I pull him to me and thread my fingers through his hair, taking his bottom lip into my mouth. Biting, sucking, and exploring. There’s nothing left to question as he groans against my lips, slipping his tongue inside my mouth. Backing up towards the bed he picks me up, his fingers digging into my ass. I wrap my legs around him, moaning as I feel him press against me.

Laying me back on the bed I feel him kiss down my chest while running his hands under my shirt, against the flesh of my stomach. His hands trail up my chest fumbling with the string of my bikini. I push him back slightly, grabbing the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head. I toss it aside. It was in the way and I feel like I might combust. He slams his mouth down against mine, his mouth owning me, showing me he’ll take care of me. Untying the strings, pulling it off, he kisses the space between my breasts, drawing a moan from me. His mouth closes around my nipple and my back arches, bringing me closer to him. “Hale, I need you.” My words come out a breathless moan. I reach under his shirt and run my hands down the muscles of his stomach, he groans dropping his forehead to my chest, as my hands travels lower. Fumbling with the button on his shorts I work it undone and use me feet to push them down his hips leaving him in dark grey boxer briefs that hug him in all the right places. I run my hand over his boxers, lightly squeezing him through the cotton. “Fuck, Ember,” he groans against my skin. Pushing himself up on his hands, he uses one hand to pull my bikini bottoms down my legs, helping me kick them to the floor. I’m not nervous that I’m laid out bare in front of him, only nervous for the pain and uncertainty that comes with giving myself to him. I could never choose anyone else to have this piece of me; it was always meant to be his. I feel his heart pounding against mine, his chest rising and falling with ragged breaths. He runs his hands down my stomach, between my legs. He runs his fingers through my wetness, groaning, “Jesus, Ember.” I pull his lips back down to mine, drinking in his taste, reveling in the fact that this beautiful man is mine. I feel his finger rub against my clit, my body arching against him; my whimpers swallowed by his mouth on mine. He slips a finger inside me and my walls tighten around him as the heel of his palm grazes my clit. I throw my head back, feeling my muscles go lax as he adds another finger. “I need you now,” he says, his voice heaving in my ear as our pants and sighs fill the room. I feel his teeth tug on my earlobe. The pleasure flows through my body like a wave as I push against his hand, reaching for the release that he is teasing my body with. I reach for his briefs and drag them down, watching as his erection springs free. I wrap my fingers around him, bringing him closer to my entrance. I feel him hot and hard, pressed against me... – he halts, “Baby, condom. One sec,” he kisses my lips and hops from the bed to his shorts on the floor, retrieving the one hidden in his wallet.

I admire his body as he stands there; the most perfect thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. His dark brown hair is always too long and is always falling in his eyes; the brown matching the color of his eyes. I can never decide what I love more, the color of his eyes or the dimple in his cheek as he smiles. His stomach is all ridges and planes of muscles. At his hips sits the v of his abdomen, and a trail of hair that leads lower. I’ll have to lick down that later. Putting the condom between his teeth he rips the foil and tosses it aside after pulling it out and sliding it down his length. Laying back over me he presses a kiss against my lips, tender and full of promise. “I’ll be as gentle as I can, I love you Em. “ Taking my hands, he links his fingers through mine, pulling them above my head. I feel him slowly slide inside me, inch by inch, stealing the breath from my lungs. My eyes tightly shut; I bite my lip to keep from crying out. The pain is like a hot iron, bringing tears to my eyes. “I’m so sorry baby, God I’m sorry. Should I stop?” Hale whispers, panic written on his face. He tries to withdraw and I stop him, holding my hand up, “It’s like a band aid right?” I laugh, trying to relax my body. He looks down at me, sinking quickly inside me in one thrust. I cry out, my body arching from the pain. Capturing my lips in a searing kiss, he withdraws, pushing slowly back inside trying his hardest to distract me. A few thrust later, the pain no longer feels overwhelming, more of a dull throb. Running my nails down his back, I urge him on. Knowing this is what he needs. Pulling out, he slowly pushes back inside. His body fits perfectly inside mine, he gives exactly what I need to take. He drops his head to the crook of my neck, a groan on his lips as I feel him slowing his thrusts. Groaning my name, he cums inside of me, gripping my hips like a vise. He stills inside me, dropping his body on top of me. I put my arms around his neck, and hold him to me. We lay in silence; our breathing the only sound to be heard.

“I love you,” he whispers against my skin. He pulls out of my body slowly, and I groan at the loss of him. Heading to the bathroom to take care of the condom, he comes back with a rag in hand. He cleans me with the gentlest touch and my heart feels like it could explode in my chest. “I love you Hale,” I tell him, running my thumb across his jaw. Lying next to me, he pulls my body to his chest. I close my eyes, listening to the steady strum of his heart beat. I wish with all my heart that we could stay in this moment forever, never moving, never losing the feeling of our hearts beating together.

August 2011

I can’t remember the exact moment in time when Hale Jarreau became more than my best friend; or exactly when he became more than just the little boy next door; or even the moment he became my whole life. Just that it happened slowly, not all at once. A slow, all-consuming feeling. The things I do remember are the things I’ll carry with me always. The way it feels to be wrapped in his arms, the sun beating down on us, his smell that is so much him, and the taste of his skin as he moves inside me. I’ve given every part of myself to this man who has had my heart since the moment I saw that moving truck in the driveway.

“Ember, I need to tell you something,” Hale whispers, lost somewhere in his head. We’ve been laying in the backseat of the Camaro for over an hour, just happy to spend a free moment together alone.

“What’s wrong?”

“I waited to tell you, trying to find the perfect time, but it seems like there won’t ever be a good time to tell you,” he pauses, turning me towards him. “I joined the Marines. I leave for bootcamp next week.. in Parris Island. I enlisted a few months back.”

I sit up, scrambling away from him, as far as I could possibly go in the tiny space we’re in. “What? What do you mean, Hale? You’re supposed to start LSU next month! We’ve been talking about this our whole lives,” I scream, my body starting to shake with emotion. “You’re leaving me,” I whisper, as the tears form in my eyes and escape down my cheeks.

“Sweet girl, I’m going to fight for your freedom. I’m going to do this to be a man you’ll be proud of. I can’t stay here with my dad. I can’t live like this any longer. Where do you want me to go, Ember? I have to make a life for us.”

“You can’t do that here with me? You can’t make me proud here? I am proud Hale. I love you. I’m always proud of you,” I’m screaming, the tears are pouring down my face. I taste the salty bite on my tongue.

“Em, stop. Stop crying, please. I can’t take it. I can’t be the cause of those tears. I’ll come home to you baby, I will. I’ll fight my way back to you, no matter where I’m at in this world. You know that!” He yells back, closing in on me, trying to pull me back into his arms. “Ember, I need you to support me. I need you to be here waiting for me when I come back. I need to be able to close my eyes and know you’re here waiting on me to come home,” he whispers.

“I don’t know how to be without you, Hale. I’ll be afraid every day wondering whether you’re dead or alive over there! How could you make this decision without asking me?”

“I need you be strong for me. I need you to be brave. I need you to write me every day, and tell me about home. I need you to be my sweet girl, to give me hope. It wasn’t something I just did on a whim. Ember, I’ve been thinking about it for months! I didn’t know how to tell you. I hate seeing you cry and especially over me! I’m doing this for us.” He pulls me to him, kissing me softly, moving his lips over mine as if I’ll break into a thousand pieces in his arms.

I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know whether to be angry that he’s choosing to leave, scared because only God knows what the future holds, or sad because the love of my short life is leaving me to walk into the gates of Hell.

I can feel his heart beating through his shirt, his muscles tense. He puts his finger under my chin, tilting my head up. “I love you, sweet girl. It’s going to be okay, we’ll make it through this. We have our whole lives together. You’re going to start school and dance will keep your mind busy. You can write me every day, and I’ll write you a letter for everyday I’m away from you,” he whispers against my lips. I feel his fingers wipe the stray tears from my cheek, as I close my eyes and lean into him.

“I have your present you know... I’ve been waiting to give you this since I was 6 years old,” he grins, kissing me on the corner of my lips.

Right there in front of me, Hale Jarreau drops down to one knee and pulls a box out of his pocket. I stand there, eyes wide, my hands shaking as I cover my mouth.

“Ember Ann Dubois, I’ve loved you since we dug out worms together behind Nan’s shop. You were my first friend, my first kiss, my every first there’s been. You’re my angel on earth. Every day you save me. You make my life worth living and I want to grow old with you beside me. Every day, all day, forever. Till my last breath. Will you be my wife?” He opens the box and pulls the ring out. It’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.

“I know it’s not much but I’ve been working on cars after school so I could afford it and...”

I drop to my knees and take his face in my hands, “Hale Michael. Yes. I’ll be your wife.” I can barely get it out, my voice hoarse with emotion.

“We’ll make it, sweet girl. I’ll come home to you and make you my wife. I want tons of babies and Nan already told me she’s not getting any younger,” he laughs.

It seems like something I had been dreaming of for so long and it finally happened. Even in light of him enlisting, it’s like finally the best part of our story is yet to come. It was a way to make it through this nightmare, with hope and excitement for the future.

Four days later, I watch him step on that plane and it feels like he’s taking my heart with him. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this kind of pain in my life. I keep praying over and over for God to return him to me safe. Clutching the letter he handed me, I sit right there on the ground with everyone around me, pull my knees to my chest and rip open the only lifeline he’s left me.

Ember,

I hate leaving you. I hate knowing I’ll be so far from you. I’m sorry that I had to do this, but also so damn excited to make you proud and to start a future with you. Just know that you’ll be in my mind every moment and I’ll wish I was home with you. Dry those tears Sweet Girl. I’ll see you in a few months and we will make up for all the lost time. All of the lost time ; ) I love you so fucking much, baby. Please be strong for me and give Nan all my love. I left the keys to the Camaro on your dresser. Take care of yourself and my other baby for me. Make sure you eat before dance and soak your feet at night, you know that it helps. Every night when you’re dancing on that stage, just know that I’m dreaming of you. It’s only up from here, baby.

Love you forever sweet girl, see you soon.

-Hale

I laugh, drying my tears, folding the letter back up and sliding it into the envelope. Leave it to Hale to make some innuendo when I’m crying my eyes out. He gives me strength when I’m weak. I don’t know all the answers, but I know I’ll love Hale Jarreau until my last breath.

November 2011

Hale

Hale Michael,

I love you. By the time you get this letter, you should be about to step on the plane to come home to me. I can’t wait to see you! Getting in the Camaro now... I know you can’t wait to see both of your sweet girls ;)

Love you baby! Xo Ember

Between getting my ass handed to me every day and not seeing Ember, it has been the longest six months of my life. By eighteen, I've been through more than some people go through in a lifetime. My life has never been easy; it’s been a life full of darkness. Ember is the light in my darkness. She’s my reason for breathing. I fucking love that girl so much, my heart physically aches without her near. I had to do this; I had to figure out some way to get out of the hell I faced every day. If Em had her way, I would live with her and Nan, but I won’t be like my father. I will provide for her and give her and my children a good life.