Текст книги "Scorched"
Автор книги: R. Holmes
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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 10 страниц)
I watch as she grabs her purse and tosses me a little wave before opening the door and disappearing outside. I sink down onto the couch and close my eyes, just taking a moment to rest. Being pregnant is no joke. I see the picture of Nan and I at the fair a few years ago and a pain hits my heart. I wish so much that she could be here. I miss her so much and she would be having a fit over me having a baby. The fact that I’m able to raise my little bean in the same place that has offered me so much love and happiness eases some of the pain of her being gone. I’ll miss her everyday, but at least the memories we made will live on… because of her my life was filled with happiness.
Hale
Today, Em’s fifteen weeks pregnant and the past two and a half months have been the happiest months of my life. I’m so fucking ecstatic to be a father. I even got this book called What to Expect When You’re Expecting to read up on everything. Ember said if I don’t put it away she’s going to lock herself in the bedroom and not come out for the next six months. I just want to make sure we’re doing everything right. She can’t have fish or coffee, which did not fucking go over well. We’re heading to the doctor shortly to find out what we’re having. I’ve been patiently or not so patiently waiting for this day, for what seems like forever. I can’t wait to paint the nursery and move in. Everyone keeps asking me if I want a boy or girl and honestly? I don’t care either way. I want a healthy baby. I’ve started seeing a therapist in town for PTSD. After that night I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I knew it was time to see someone. I couldn’t imagine ever hurting Ember or the baby even if I was asleep. The flashbacks happen more frequently when I’m tired or stressed and I never seem to be getting enough sleep. After a few days of Ember giving me the silent treatment, I called a buddy that served with me and he directed me to the right place. I didn’t think it would help at first, but the shrink is actually a retired vet himself, and I feel lighter every day walking out of that door. He knows what I’m going through; he’s been there and done it himself. Unlike a person who has never been in war and has no idea the lasting effects it truly has a man. Or any idea the type of scars our bodies hold inside and out. I’m going to see him until I can learn to live with myself, until breathing is easier. Ember has been the best thing to ever happen to me and I won’t let my fucked up mind lose her.
“Ember hurry up before we’re late!” I yell up the stairs. I hear her moving around in the bathroom, putting on makeup. I tell her daily she doesn’t need that shit. My woman is beautiful without a trace of that shit on her face. I take a seat on the barstools we just recently purchased and cross my arms over my chest waiting for her to come down the stairs. Once we found out we were pregnant, we decided that it was time to sell my dad’s house and move everything over here. Deacon is content staying with Ember whenever I’m not around and I didn’t want him to have to stay at the house by himself. I didn’t have much to move since I came here with a couple duffle bags, but we decided to donate all of dad’s old furniture to the church. It’s been on the market for a few weeks now, but we haven’t really made much of an effort to sell. We’ve devoted all of our time to making this house our home. We’ve bought new furniture and decorations that Ember insisted on, and painted our bedroom a tan color to match the new bedspread and sheets. It’s the only place that’s ever really felt like home to me. Laying my head down next to her every night is a feeling that’s indescribable.
She finally comes down the stairs. She’s just now starting to show a little. All I hear about how “fat’ she’s getting, but she’s so fucking beautiful it takes my breath away. My favorite time of the day is coming home and laying my head against her stomach. I feel like I’ve got it all.
“Ready baby?” I ask her as she makes it to the bottom step. She grabs her purse from the side table and slides her hand in mine.
“Ready.” I drop my head down and press my lips against hers. “I’m so fucking excited.” I grin.
“Hale Michael! You do realize that a child will repeat anything and everything that comes out of your mouth?” She slaps my arm playfully.
“Well seeing as how our baby isn’t even a full six months inside your belly yet, I think it’ll be a while before he’s able to pick up on that.” I open the front door, ushering her outside. It’s still pretty cool for March so I grab her coat from the rack and drape it around her shoulders.
“You need to wear your jacket Em, I don’t want you to get sick.”
“I know, I just forgot. Now, let’s go before we are late.” She leaves me standing there and climbs in the car. I open the door and get inside, “Says the woman who spent over an hour getting ready! All I had to do was throw my boxers on.” I tell her, cranking the car.
“Well if someone wouldn’t have decided I needed to be “thoroughly fucked” then I would’ve been dressed a lot earlier.”
“Not my fault you look so damn sexy in those yoga pants,” I tell her, grinning.
We pull up at the doctor’s office and I quickly get out to open Embers door and take her hand.
“I’m nervous. I don’t know why but I’m just nervous.” She says as we’re about to walk in the door. I pull her into my arms and give her a kiss that leaves her breathless. “Now are you ready?” Smirking, I open her door as she stares at me, blinking. I laugh and guide her through the door. We check in with the nurse and take our seats, waiting to be called.
“What do you think it is?” I ask her.
“I think it’s a girl. I don’t know, I just have a feeling. Mothers intuition?”
“Ember Dubois?” The nurse calls from the doorway. Fuck, I can’t wait till she has my last name. She grabs my hand as she stands and together we walk through the doorway. Following the nurse, we’re placed in a large room with a TV on the wall. I feel like a kid at Christmas, I’m so anxious.
“Okay Ember, I need you to pull your waistband down so I can see what we’ve got!” The nurse tells her as she applies some of the clear jelly to the wand. I scoot my chair closer to hers while she pushes her yoga pants down to her panty line. Her hand finds mine and she squeezes tightly as the nurse applies the jelly to her stomach and uses the wand to spread it around. We all glance towards the screen as our tiny little peanut comes into view. Ember’s hand squeezes mine as the heartbeat sounds through the television screen. God that sound never gets old. It’s like a fucking lullaby to my ears.
“Okay, let’s see. We just have to hope little one will cooperate with us so we can get a peek!” She moves the wand around until she finally stops when she has a better picture.
“Well, it looks like it’s a girl!” She says as Ember begins sobbing big fat tears and I jump from the chair yelling, “YES! Wohooo!!!” I don’t care how much of a pussy I look like right now. Daddy’s having a princess. I can hear Ember giggling behind me as I wrench the door open and walk outside.
“Guess what everybody?! I’m having a GIRL! I’m getting a princess!” I tell everyone who will listen. Claps and cheers breakout through the office and I look back at Ember to see her laughing as the tears stream down her face.
I walk up to her and drag her to me, slamming my lips down on hers. My tongue tangles with hers and I kiss the breath right out of her.
“You will never understand the beauty of the gift you are giving me, Ember Ann Dubois. Never. I love you, so fucking much.”
I hear a sniffle and see the technician with tears in her eyes. I laugh and apologize to her.
“No, you two are so obviously in love it’s just a beautiful sight. I’m going to get this out of your way so you can make it down to her doctor’s appointment. Let me just print a few pictures for you. Congratulations, you two!” She quickly prints out the pictures of my princess and hands them to us, exiting the room.
“I’m so excited I don’t even know what the fuck to do, Ember. I feel like climbing to the top of the world and screaming it to everyone.” I help her down from the bed as she rights her clothing.
“I can’t believe it, Hale. A girl! I get to spoil her with clothes and pink everything.”
“Now we can paint her nursery and pick out all of her bedding. Want to go when we leave here?” I ask her.
She laughs, “Slow your roll big boy. We have an appointment after this and I’m exhausted. We will go this weekend.”
The appointment goes great and Ember’s gynecologist, Dr. Brown, tells us everything looks great and he estimates a due date in August for us.
My phone buzzes in my pocket as we pull up at the house and I tell Ember I’ll be in, in just a second. As soon as the door closes I answer, “Hey B. I’m sure she will be calling you in two seconds to tell you, so I’ll let her. But just makes sure you’re there by six. I want to have her there around six thirty. I appreciate all your help.”
“No problem. That’s her beeping in. I’ll have it done.”
I press end and head inside where I hear Ember screaming into the phone with Blayr. I can’t wait to show her what I have in store.
Ember
After all the excitement of the day I laid down for a nap and finally feel rested. Hale just woke me up and told me to get dressed he is taking me somewhere. A surprise. I hate surprises and he knows this, but he looks so excited I immediately get up and throw a pair of jeans and a sweater on. He leads me to the car and doesn’t give not one hint as to where we’re going. We pull up to an abandoned field in the middle of nowhere.
“Hale, what’s going on?” I ask him.
He gets out and comes around to open my door, reaching in and helping me out. We walk a short ways through the field until I see a small bonfire glowing in the distance. As we get closer I see that in the large oak trees behind it there are tons of lights strung throughout. There is a small path of white rose petals leading toward the tree and it suddenly hits me. This is the tree Hale and I carved our initials in when we were kids. It’s been so long since I’ve been here and it being dark I didn’t even realize it. I hear Hale trailing behind me as we approach the tree. I run my fingers over the carving that is still visible on the huge looming tree. I turn back to look at Hale and see him drop to his knee in front of me. My hand flies to my mouth as he grins, pulling the blue ring box from his pocket and opening it, presenting the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen in my life.
Hale
“Ember...” My voice shakes with emotion, nerves, overwhelming fucking love for this beautiful angel standing in front of me.
“I’ve lived my entire life looking for a place that I felt at home. Looking for somewhere that I felt safe, wanted, and loved. From the moment I laid eyes on you, you have been the center of my world. You have offered me unconditional love. You’re my best friend, Em. You make me laugh with all your bad jokes and clumsiness. Every morning when I wake up and feel you curled against me, I feel like I’ve got the world in my arms. There’s nothing else I could ask for. Our life has not gone at all as we once planned, not even close, but I wouldn’t change anything. Regardless of everything that we have been through, we have survived and we have come out stronger. Our love isn’t a love story, but our love is real. Our love is the type of love some people never get to experience. I want to spend every day of the rest of my life devoted unconditionally to you. I want to give you everything in life that you deserve and I promise to always put you first. I promise to always trust you, believe in you and support you. I want to be the best daddy I can be to our princess and the best husband I can be to you. There will never be anyone who loves you more than I do. It’s not possible, you’re a part of my soul. The other half that God has made just for me. Please marry me. Please tell me you’ll wake up every day in my arms. Give me forever Sweet girl.” As I finish, she drops to her knees in front of me sobbing, and pulls me to her. I almost drop the damn ring as she clings to me, blubbering. She presses kisses all over my face saying yes over and over again.
I pull us apart momentarily to slide the two carat tear drop shaped diamond onto her finger. I knew the second I saw it that it was for her. If she only knew how happy she makes me every day of my life. I plan to spend the rest of my days being the best person I can for her.
There are a lot of words that can be used to describe Ember and I’s love. Beautiful, heartbreaking, redeeming, and consuming. In life sometimes you only get one chance. You only get that one chance to get it right, but Ember and I were lucky enough to get a second. We were lucky enough to find each other again. Every day I thank the man above for bringing me back from hell. I thank Ember every day for redeeming me. I once thought my heart was black and cold, but that’s not true. There’s no way my heart could ever be cold and black with something as beautiful and pure as Ember inside it. They say that your soulmate can find you anywhere you are, no matter what part of the world you’re in, no matter how far apart. That they seek each other out as a part of life. That’s the type of love that Ember and I have. An all-consuming, once in a lifetime type of love. I know we aren’t perfect. We treat each day as if it’s the last we will spend together and don’t bother fighting and arguing over things that won’t really matter in the end. When you have the one thing that your soul seeks ripped away from you, you never take that for granted again. Some may not understand the love that we share, or even try to, but the important thing is, is that you understand that nothing in life is guaranteed. Just take the ugly, broken, bruised things, and make something beautiful from the wreckage.
THE END
Epilogue
Lennox Renery Jarreau was born on August seventeenth at seven pm after twenty four hours of long, hard labor that my sweet girl took like a champ. The second I heard her cry I knew my life was changed forever. Those first moments we spent together as a family is something I will never forget, not as long as I live. Gazing down into those pretty blue eyes that she got from her mama, she had me wrapped around her tiny finger. I knew in that moment there wasn’t a thing in the world I wouldn’t do for my girls. I’d cherished each day with them as if it was my last because I know just how quickly it can be ripped away. I’m still seeing the PTSD therapist once a week and I’m slowly learning to cope with the shit floating around in my brain. It’s still hard to know my brothers lost their lives and there wasn’t more that I could do. It still haunts me, but every day that I see Lennox smile and laugh, gives me even more to move forward for. Ember is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, she brings me to my fucking knees. When I walk into the nursery and see her fast asleep with our daughter curled into her chest, I lose my breath.
Today, I get this beautiful, breathtaking woman as my wife. Looking back I never thought I’d have the chance to stand where I am today. I still feel like she deserves more than me, but fuck if I won’t spend my entire life devoted to her and my daughter. There was a time in my life I didn’t even think of what tomorrow would bring, let alone a future. Ember brings peace to my life. She shows me every single day that I am worth fighting for. I didn’t ask for the shitty things to happen, but I can show everyone that I’m a fighter. I won’t give up. Our love is a testament. It’s full of sacrifice and redemption. Our love shows that no matter what; never let the fight leave you. Fight for love. Fight for happiness. Fight for the person that breathes the air into your wounded soul. Fight for them even when they don’t believe they have the fight left inside of themselves. Every love has a story, this one was ours.
Acknowledgments
Holy shit.. It’s over. My first book is written. My pride and joy is in your hands right now and I hope you fell in love with Hale Jarreau just like the rest of us have. I have more people than I can possibly even list to give thanks to. Honestly, I would be nothing without the amazing support system that I have behind me!
First off, I have to thank my insta girls. You girls are the most amazing women that I have EVER met and I am so thankful for each and every one of you! Without you, Scorched wouldn’t exist and Hale wouldn’t get the happy ending that he so deserves. I won’t list every single person because there are so many but please know how much I appreciate you!! Every teaser, every share, every sweet comment.. They mean the world to me! Love you all so much!
Portia– (My bestie/editor/soul sister/ sister from another mister) You made my words beautiful. I can’t ask for a better friend or possibly trust anyone else with my baby the way that I do you. You have been my backbone through this all and I am forever grateful. Sometimes, I think what I did to deserve such a beautiful soul as my best friend. Thank you times a million for the countless hours and hard work that you have put into this. I love you.
Karrie– There isn’t enough thank you’s in the world to express how thankful I am for everything you have done for me. I can’t tell you how many times you have talked me down from the ledge. You have been one of my biggest supporters and have been by my side every step of the way. You are such a sweetheart and I love you so much!! Thank you.
Meghan– Thanks for giving me the courage to start this. Thanks for supporting me and for being my sister. I don’t have to type a paragraph for you to know what you mean to me. You’re my family. I love you.
Chelsea– Sister. I love you. Let’s keep it short and sweet and just say that you are one of the most important people in my life and I would be absolutely lost without you by me. You’re my soulmate.
Brittany T– BABE! You’re so adorable and I just love you. You’re the peanut butter to my jelly. I can’t wait to read what beautiful words you write.
Renery– Thank you for always being positive and always offering me honesty. Thank you for letting me use your name for Lennox. It’s beautiful, just like you.
Dee– My tough love. You’ve always been honest with me and given it to me straight and I am so appreciative for your guidance. So much love for you.
LUCY JAYNE– I feel like I could type an entire book on my love for you but that sounds super creepy so I’ll just stick with a few sentences. I don’t care how many miles apart we are you are literally like the other half of me. Who cares if it’s an ocean that divides us… You just get me and all my weirdness. Thanks for being my writing partner and the person I can bitch to 24/7. Without you I would be a whole lot more cray than I am now. Love you more than life P. Sawyer<3 P.S. Roman is mine and I will fight bitches for him. Thanks.
Kelly– My Canadian babe. You are seriously my twin and I love you. Thank you for always being there to listen.
Meghan March: When I say I wouldn’t have done this without you.. I mean it. From the bottom of my heart. When I first decided to start writing you were the first person I even told. You have been nothing but patient with me as I ask the billions of questions I have on the daily. You are truly an inspiration to me and I am so thankful for our friendship.
Mo Mabie: I FLOVE YOU! Thank you for being an inspiration to me.
Mama & Reanne: I love you. Thanks for always believing in me. Even when I didn’t believe in myself.
Justin Crawford: You’re awesome. I couldn’t even believe that you took the time to read a romance book. I am so thankful for your knowledge and the time you took to look over this for me. You are the best Justin!!
To all my readers, you will never know my appreciation for you. Thank you for picking up my book and taking a chance on Hale and Ember. All of this is for you!
<3
