Текст книги "Scorched"
Автор книги: R. Holmes
сообщить о нарушении
Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 10 страниц)
My commander has recommended me for a mission that leaves next month and I know that I need to go. I need to go for my brothers. I need to know I’m making a difference. I know that the sacrifices I make will all be worth it. I’m proud of the man that I’m becoming. I know Em will be upset, but it’s one deployment down and I’ll be home to her as soon as I possibly can.
“Jarreau, we’re landing, put that shit away,” Lt. Collins says from the seat across from me. I close my journal and stick it in my bag. Fuck, twenty minutes and I can breathe easy again. I’m comin’ for you, baby.
Ember,
I never thought in a million years I would be writing a letter like this to anyone, especially to you. I love you, beautiful. I love you so fucking much it consumes me. I’m sorry I have to leave for so long this time. Just remember I’m doing this to make a better life for us. I know it’s not anything you want to hear, but if something happens to me over there Ember, just know you were the very last thought in my mind. I guess my old man will hear through the grapevine, if he’s sober enough to care. I know I’ll be back to you, baby. I feel it in my bones. I remember the first time I saw those baby blues, and Lord knows it was over for me; it’s always been you. You need to know how much I love you and you need to know that I’m doing this because I want to give you the world. I want to be the man you need. A man who can provide for you and always give you the life that you deserve. I want to serve my country and be a man you can be proud of. I’m sorry I can’t stay. I’m sorry for all the things I am going to miss. Just know that when I’m lying in that bunk, you will be my first thought in the morning and the last thought before I close my eyes. I’ll dream of you and when the world is exploding around me, I’ll close my eyes and think of those blue eyes and you’ll bring me peace. I’ll never stop loving you, Ember, not even when I take my last breath. God, I love you so fucking much. I know when the time comes, I’ll get off that plane, and you’ll be right there waiting. We have our whole lives sweet girl that I can spend worshipping you. I can’t wait to be your husband and be a daddy to our babies. I miss you already, and you’re asleep next to me. Even in your sleep, no conscious thought, you have to be as close as possible to me. Our love is a once in a lifetime love, Em. We will look back on this time and it’ll be a bump in the road. A road that is as old as we are. We’ve grown together and we will grow old together. Never doubt that. I’ll love you forever sweet girl.
-Hale
Chapter 2
January 2012
Ember
I’m half asleep when I hear commotion outside. “Nan?” I say, my voice hoarse with sleep. I throw my legs over the side of the bed, searching for the lamp in the dark. Throwing on an old robe, I walk down stairs, turning on lights to guide my path.
I reach the front door and open it, peeking outside. The last thing I see before my world goes black is two marines in dress blues.
I don’t remember much about the funeral, I just remember the physical pain; it was like my heart being was being ripped out of my chest. The overwhelming feeling of despair. The looks of pity and the sorrow in everyone’s eyes. Small towns are like that; everyone knows everyone. Everyone’s business is everyone’s business... it’s all anyone talked about: Hale Jarreau dying. Fighting so we could be free. He’s brave, courageous, a small town hero.
My mind has been hazy for weeks. The doctor prescribed me medicine for anxiety and sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t function. I’ve questioned my faith, my belief in God. I’ve cried and I’ve screamed at God. I don’t understand how this could happen. I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this pain. They say Hale’s daddy was drunk at the funeral. I wanted to scream and beat him with my fists. This is your fault you asshole! Why couldn’t you be a father? Why couldn’t you love that little boy who so desperately needed you? He wouldn’t have felt the need to run from the place he called home! I wanted to blame everyone, including myself. I should’ve done things differently. But that won’t bring him back. Nothing will bring him back.
Everyone keeps saying “It’ll get easier, time heals all wounds.” What a bunch of bullshit. I want to scream, but instead, I smile and nod. Spineless. They say it was an IED, and that he didn’t suffer. Over as quick as it happened. His entire team was taken out and they had to piece everyone back together. When I think about it, I feel sick. It makes me sick to imagine the love of my life that way. I can’t imagine what the world will be like without Hale Jarreau. My world doesn’t exist without him in it. They say there are five stages of grief… it starts with denial.
Ember,
If you’re reading this then you already know what’s happened. I’m so sorry baby. I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t keep my promises to you. I know you’ll read this curled up with my old sweatshirt and be crying tears that I wish I could be there to dry. God Ember, my heart hurts even writing this letter to you, but I know I have to say this. The day I moved into that house next to yours and saw you playing in the yard, covered in mud, your hair in lopsided pigtails, you changed my life. You didn’t know it then, hell I didn’t either, but from that day forward you were a part of me. I know the days will be hard Ember. I know there will be days that you feel like giving up, but baby, I need you to be strong for me. I need you to live your life. I need you to do it for me, so I can rest easy up here. I’m in a place where there’s no pain and every day I will watch over you. We were the lucky ones, Ember Ann. We may be young, but the love that we share is a love that can’t be lost. Even with my last breath, my love for you will move mountains. I never thought there would be a time where I wasn’t there with you, but life has a way of throwing us things we’re never prepared for. I need you to promise me that you’ll live your life and you’ll do all the things we laid awake under the stars talking about. I want you to know that you were the very best thing in my life. Every moment spent with you was more than I ever could’ve asked for. You’ve brought me more peace and happiness than I ever thought I would see, Em. I want you to know that I don’t regret my decision to be a Marine. I died fighting for people who deserve this freedom. I know it doesn’t seem fair baby and I wish more than anything in this world that I could be there with you right now, but I died being brave. I gave my life for something that meant something. I gave my life so that every day you can wake up and do all the things that make you happy. Listen to me, Ember. You’re going to go to school and you’re going to be a nurse. You’re going to help all those sick babies just like you told me you would. Even when the days seem hard and long, you’re going to get up and know that I’m looking down on you with the biggest smile on my face. On the days that are hard, I want you to think back on all the happy things that we shared. There’s going to come a time where you’ll find someone new and you’ll fall in love and don’t you dare push him away. I know the person that you will fall in love with will be perfect for you. You have so much love to give and I won’t let it die here with me. You’re going to get married and be the most beautiful bride in the world and then you’re going to have little babies that look just like you. You have to do all those things, Ember. You have to do them not just for you, but for me too. I love you. There aren’t enough words to describe how much I love you. There’s never going to be a past tense on that word because I love you just as much up here as I did when I had you in my arms. Be strong and be brave. The sacrifices I’ve made may not seem worth it, but they are Ember. I’ll love you forever and even after.
-Hale
Part Two:
“She lives her life like a flame; a dance of purposeful chaos.… Her enchanting light can guide you and quell your fears… She’s hot; warming those who respect her and burning those who don’t… She is a flame with an unforgettable glow… A weak man will try to dim her luminance… but her soul mate will take pleasure in fanning the blaze.” – Steve Mariboli
Chapter 1
Ember
“I’m done. Seriously, I may die in the next five minutes if I don’t soak my feet.” My best friend Blayr says. We’re rehearsing for a huge show at the community center for the Harvest Festival and I’m pretty sure we could both dance it in our sleep. “Practice makes perfect, B. Quit bitching.”
“Well, then we’re perfect No worries, Em. C’mon I want a margarita and reruns of my baby Jax. I swear I’m going to kill Gemma if she doesn’t stop fucking with Tara. I swear Sons of Anarchy makes me want to pack all my shit up and join a badass motorcycle club.”
I start gathering all my things that are scattered around the studio, shoving them all in my pink Nike bag. “I’m pretty sure Samcro is looking for everyone BUT a prima ballerina, but maybe in your dreams.” I turn to the ancient tape player in the nook by the door, shutting off our music and tossing the tape in my bag. “Let’s go Ms. Badass, I’m dead on my feet,” I yell back at her as I walk towards the parking lot.
I climb in and crank the air to high. Living in Louisianathe heat is no joke. At any given time you are drowning in a bucket of sweat from one hundred percent humidity. Yep, one hundred.
“I have to go by Nan’s tonight. Wanna meet up later for dinner?” I say as I look over at Blayr.
“I have to finish a paper for psychology, so I’ll text you later and let you know. Do you have class in the morning? We should so go out! We haven’t been out in forever. Let’s go Ember!” she pleas.
“Maybe?”
“No, every time you say maybe it’s really no. You’re such a maw maw, Ember, I swear. No one would even know you’re old enough to drink. When is the last time you did something not dance or school related? Nan probably has a better social life than you,” she says exasperated, throwing her hands up.
I love Blayr. We’ve been friends since birth, and our mothers were best friends. We’re exactly 22 days apart. I think of her more as a sister, an annoying one, but my sister. We’re complete and total opposites. She’s vivacious, outgoing, and full of life. I am quiet, reserved and a total introvert. We mix like water and oil, but I don’t know what I would do without her. I don’t know who I would be without her.
“How about I let you know later? You know Nan, I’m sure I’ll be playing bingo with her and Mr. Barker until midnight. Okay, maybe she does have a better social life, but I’m happy with my life, B. Just let me be,” I whisper.
“Em, I just want you to get out more. You’re a college student! Go out and have a little fun. You don’t have to feel guilty for moving on with your life...”
“Stop, I don’t even want to open that door right now. I’m fine, stop pushing me when I’m not ready.”
“He’s not coming back, Em. You can’t put your life on hold for a ghost.”
I sigh, pulling in the driveway of our small two bedroom. I turn the car off, grab my bag from the backseat, and start to open the door.
She grabs my arm, pulling me to her.“I love you. I just want you to be happy. You know that right?” she whispers as she hugs me close.
“I know. I just feel like there’s so much empty space inside me. How can I be happy when I know he’s never coming home? He was my world B, my whole world.” I sob into her neck, her arms tight around me. Lord knows what I would do without her.
Pulling away, I open the door and step out. Turning back I tell B over my shoulder, “Text me later and we can figure out some plans. Love you.”
It’s not often that I like to lose my shit in front of others. I can’t stand the look of pity on their faces. Pity isn’t what I want. I don’t want you to look at me and think of me as the sad girl that can’t move on. Don’t pretend to understand my pain, because you don’t.
Walking to the closet, I pull down the box from the very top shelf and sit on the floor. Removing the lid, I begin pulling out the memories of us. I know if Hale saw me now he would be disappointed in the person I’ve become. Death takes its toll on everyone around them, sucking the life out of what’s left. I would do anything for another minute with him. I would give up every last breath to hear his laugh, to see the dimple in his cheek when he smiles, to feel the stubble on his jaw, and to his smell clinging to his t-shirt as he holds me tight. For months after he died, I spent hours reading over the letters and emails, and running my finger over pictures. My body became a shell, barely taking me through each day; the grief consumed me. I laid in bed, wishing for an escape from the pain that I felt every day. Every second of everyday felt like hell.
Looking back now, I wonder how I even made it through those days. How I even put one foot in front of the other. I know I have to move on, I know that. It’s actually doing it that is the hard part; the part that I struggle with every day. I go to school, I dance, I visit Nan, but I don’t live anymore. I go through the motions. I have to make a change. I want to be someone Hale would be proud of. I know he would want me to be happy and to chase my dreams. I have to start with putting this box away. I’m going to go out and make friends. I can do this for me and for Hale. I’ve got to accept that he’s gone and start living my life, no matter how much my heart hurts. It’s time to start healing and move forward. I want to live, not just survive.
I put the lid back on and stand, reaching to the very back of the closet, and set it on the shelf. I turn off the light and close the door, grabbing my phone from my desk as I make my way towards the living room. I plop down on the couch and text B.
Me: Okay, let’s go out. I need to do this.
B: Is this a joke Em? If so, not funny bitch! I got super excited for a second.
Me: I’m serious, let’s go to that new place that opened on Laffite.
B: On my way home NOW.
Me: See you soon xx
“Remind me why we have to do this again...” I say as Blayr wraps another long strand of my hair around the curling wand.
“Because you NEED time out with other people your age, not the senior citizens of Crescent. Quit bitching, you can do this!”
Rolling my eyes, I sigh. “Fine but can we hurry?”
“These locks must be tamed, Em,” she replies. She finishes curling my unruly brown hair and starts applying makeup.
“Keep it on the down low. I don’t want to look like a hooker,” I playfully tell her. “Me? Never!” she laughs and continues with the brush against my cheeks. “I’m so jealous of your cheekbones, they’re perfect. Seriously. I have the fattest chipmunk cheeks,” B complains.
I move towards my closet, searching through jeans, t-shirts, and sweaters. Looking back over my shoulder I say, “B... is this place casual enough for jeans?” She looks at me like I’ve grown a beard and says “Are you nuts? Ember, it’s a nightclub, not Chili’s. Seriously, come on.” Taking my hand, she drags me toward her room. “We will find you something perfect! I’m bound to have something.”
I sit on her bed while she sifts through her closet. “Jeez, B, it’s time to donate some of this to the Goodwill. Like, yesterday,” I say, looking around at the clothes, purses, and shoes strewn everywhere, “there’s enough stuff here to clothe an army.” “All necessary grasshopper, trust me,” she says with her head buried in her closet.
“Got it! How about this?” She pulls out a dress that looks like it would cover maybe the top half of my curvy, hourglass figure. “Hell no. There is no way in hell I’m fitting in that! Not unless you’re hiding the other half of it behind you. Have you seen these hips?” I gesture to my body. “Will you please just try it on? It’ll look perfect, I swear,” she hands me the dress, shooing me into the bathroom. Not sure if I’ll make it through this with my sanity.
An hour later, we’re stepping out of Nashville’s truck. He’s a friend of Blayr’s from school and apparently he and B have been texting for a few weeks. I feel guilty for not knowing that. I’ve been so focused on dance and school, I haven’t had much time for girl talk. My stomach is in knots, my palms sweaty; I’m nervous but excited at the same time. ‘C’mon babe, let’s have a good night,” B says, looping her arm through mine as we hand our ID’s to the bouncer. His eyes run down my body, and he looks up, smirking. “You’re good, have fun,” he says, handing me my ID back. My cheeks heat. It’s such a foreign feeling, a man appreciating my body. Something I haven’t felt in years, or maybe it’s just something I haven’t paid attention to. We head inside to find a table. The place is packed, the lights low, and the music loud. Nashville yells over the music, “Can I get you girls something?” B looks at him with a sly smile, “Yeah Nashville, how about some shots? We need to loosen my girl up!” She says, giggling. I can do this, I keep repeating over and over. It’s taking everything I have not to bolt for the door.
Nashville comes back with a tray full of shots, he hands us the glasses full of clear liquid and a slice of lime. “To Ember finally joining the real world!” B yells and holds her shot up. We clink together and then tip them back. It slides down my throat, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Jesus, people drink this for fun?! “Oh God, that is disgusting, what the shit was that?” I yell, barely able to form my words. B and Cam are cracking up, tears running down B’s face. “Patron baby, only the best for you,” she says in between laughs. Grabbing my hand she drags me to the dance floor, throwing her hands up, swaying to the music. I close my eyes and lose myself in “Trap Queen”, hips swaying to the beat. If there’s anything I did right in my 23 years, it’s dancing. Dancing is the only thing I truly allow myself to love. It relaxes my heart and makes me feel free.
I look up at the people dancing around me; the lights so dim I see only shadows moving together. Somehow I’ve lost B and Nash in the crowd, but instead of panicking I force myself to breathe and move to the music, just letting myself go for once. I tense as I feel two hands slide over my hips and I’m suddenly pulled back against a warm, hard body. Looking over my shoulder, all I can make out in the darkness is the shape of his face and the unruly hair falling in his eyes. He guides my hips against his front as we move together to the music, running his hands down my sides and over my hips. Part of me feels guilty for another man’s hands on my body and the other part feels liberated and free. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I know Hale would want me to find love again. I just have to find the strength inside myself to let him go.
We dance for what seems like hours, our bodies moving together like they’ve been acquainted for years; dancing to the same old tune. I open my eyes and see B and Nash making their way back towards us. I turn to tell him I need to get back to my friends and his hands are suddenly gone. I look and only see his back retreating in the crowd. Okay, well great to dance with you too, mister.
“I’ve been looking for you forever Ember Ann, shit I almost had a damn heart attack,” Blayr screams in my ear, pulling me from my thoughts. “Who was that?” She asks, I see the questions dancing in her eyes.
“Just a guy who wanted to dance I guess, we didn’t exchange email addresses,” laughing, I tell Nash to excuse us and pull her towards the restroom.
“It was so odd B, I feel like I knew him even though I never actually saw his face. It was too dark,” I say as I step into the stall.
“You should’ve got the digits,” I hear her giggling through the door. I stand, pulling the dress back down as far as I can possibly stretch it. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing this thing.
“I’ll meet you outside, I need to breathe for a second,” I tell her as I open the sliding lock on the door. I see her slipping out the door as I head to the sink to wash my hands. I take a minute to look in the mirror. My brown curls fall down my back, almost to my butt. I can never bring myself to cut it even though it’s a pain to fix every day. The dress B has me stuffed in fits my body like a glove ending only a few inches above my knee. The sweetheart neckline shows off just enough cleavage, but still covers enough to make me feel comfortable. I’ve always been modest about my body and this would be the very last thing I ever picked for myself to wear. Leave it to B to pull me out of my comfort zone head first.
I finish washing my hands and grab some napkins, heading towards the door. I toss them in the trash and head back outside. I spot B and Nash by the bar, B looks completely smitten and my heart warms for her. I miss that feeling. I miss Hale. Even now, my heart feels like it’s buried with him; with no chance of ever getting it back.
“Em, you good?” B yells over the music. I nod and make my way over to the bar while they head to the dance floor.
“Water, please?” I tell the bartender. Playing with the edge of my napkin, I’m lost in thought when I feel someone’s eyes on me. I turn back towards the dance floor, trying to make out faces in the dim light. The bartender hands the water over and I give him a five. “Keep the change.” He smiles and shoots me a wink before moving on to the man standing next to me.
I turn towards the tables and head over. I pull the stool out and try my damnedest to keep the dress from riding up and giving everyone a show. This dress and these heels are seriously driving me insane. B comes and pulls out the stool next to me, sitting down gracefully. How she manages to do that in six inch heels blows my mind. Apparently, I need to practice around the house if I ever want to do something like this again. Don’t girls work out in them or something? Although, I would be fine in a pair of skinny jeans and my converse. Just another thing B and I are complete opposites on. She will dress up to go to the grocery store, while I’m fine in yoga pants and some tennis shoes. Oil and water. Describes our relationship to a T.
“Are you having fun?” She asks, looking hopeful.
“Of course! I’m really glad we came,” I tell her, biting the side of my cheek to keep the truth from spilling out. Is it the tequila? It has to be. I just don’t want to bust her bubble. I’m trying to do the whole “move on” part of my life, but crowds just aren’t my thing. The only fun part of tonight was dancing with the stranger. Okay, saying that in my head sounds deranged. I’ll just keep that bit to myself. Remembering the way his hands ran up my sides, my heart beats faster and my cheeks begin to heat.
“Are you about ready? I’m exhausted. Where did Nash go?” I ask as I look around the dance floor.
“I think he said something about a guy he knew by the door. I’ll shoot him a text and tell him to meet us here,” she says, looking down at her phone.
We wait at the table as Nash comes strolling up, a guy trailing behind him.
“Ladies, this is Tyler. We train together at the gym.” He gestures to the guy next to him. Tyler nods at us. “What’s up?” He’s tall, with shaggy brown hair falling in his eyes. His dimples are adorable and he smells like he walked off of an Armani ad.
“Hi, I’m Ember. I’m Blayr’s best friend. Nice to meet you!” I say, sticking my hand out. He grasps it, and his hand feels warms and rough like he works with them daily. Blayr introduces herself and asks if he wants to join us. “Yeah sure,” he says, never taking his eyes off me. I almost question if he’s the man I danced with on the floor, but the hair isn’t right.
B and Nash begin arguing over the latest football draft and I’m looking around, anywhere but at Tyler. “Wanna dance?” He asks, drawing my attention to him. Do I want to? Not really. Should I? Probably.
“Yeah, let’s go! Although I can’t do much in these,” I say, gesturing towards the heels. He laughs, grabbing my hand. We head to the dance floor, making our way through the crowd. The music pounds through the speakers and he pulls me against him. We dance close for the next few songs, but it feels nothing like the dance I shared with the stranger earlier.
“I’m going to head back to the table, my feet are killing me,” I say in his ear. He nods and we walk towards the table. B and Nashville are lost in conversation as we approach, not seeming to notice that we even left.
“B, let’s go. These shoes are going to kill me. Seriously,” I wince, shuffling back and forth between feet.
“Okay, fine. But we are so doing this again. I had a blast!” She giggles, jumping down.
“Yeah, this one has had enough,” Nash laughs as he grabs her hand and steadies her.
“Tyler, it was really nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll see each other again with these two. Have a good night!” I say, leaving him by the door. B and Nash say their goodbyes. We finally make it to the car and I could cry I’m so excited to be going home and getting out of these things.
We pull up at the house, and I thank Nash for being awesome and driving us. He gets B out of the front seat. She passed out somewhere between the bar and home. Rolling my eyes, I head towards the house. Unlocking the door, I put all of our stuff on the table, and direct Nash to B’s room. I see him set B in bed, brushing her hair from her face. It’s adorable how much care he puts into putting her in there. Once everything is situated, I change into an old t-shirt and climb into bed. Laying here, replaying the night in my mind, my heart seems conflicted about what my head is telling me. If this is what I have to do, why does it feel wrong? Why do I feel like I’m betraying him? He gave his life and I’m living mine carefree. Closing my eyes, I whisper to no one, “It has to get worse before it can get better. Right?”
With a week left until the Harvest Festival, B and I are practicing at least four hours a day. My feet and body need a good soak; my brain needs a breather. Dancing is my passion. I enjoy every minute I’m on my toes, but even they need rest after this week.
“B, let’s go... we have to be at Nan’s in twenty minutes!” I yell through the door, trying to hurry her along. I swear if we were ever on time for anything, Hell would freeze underneath us. Looking in the mirror, I pull my hair into a ponytail. I fix my shirt and pants and I grab my shoes, bending down to slip them on. I grab my bag and make my way out the door. I’m leaning against my car ten minutes later when Blayr strolls out, bag in hand. She’s dressed to the T. Her hair perfectly straight, her makeup flawlessly applied and her skinny jeans and shirt look like they were made to fit her body. What takes her a few minutes, takes me a few hours. It comes naturally to her.
“You can’t rush this beauty Ember, really,” she says, climbing in the passenger seat. Rolling my eyes, I throw my bag in the backseat and buckle up.
“You are ridiculous. Seriously. Ridiculous. I’m going to stop claiming you,” I say, smirking.
Changing the subject she says, “So, Tyler has been asking Nash about you. He wants to take you out.”
“Really? I don’t know B, I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet,” I whisper, keeping my eyes on the road.
“Just think about it, no pressure. I just wanted to tell you,” she says, reaching for the radio. Cranking it up, we sing along all the way to Nan’s. Pulling in the driveway, I glance next door to Hale’s. It’s been empty since his daddy died last year. I feel the sadness squeezing my heart. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It’s moments like this when I feel like I won’t ever be the same again.
Turning the car off, we step out and head inside to Nan’s. Opening the door I yell out, “Nan we’re here!” I hang my purse up and take my shoes off. Nan will have a fit if I walk on her floors in my shoes. Heading towards the kitchen I notice the pictures of Hale and I hanging along the hallway. Some days are better than others and today is not one of the better ones. It must be for trying to let go and find peace. I find Nan at the stove and give her a hug. Sighing I tell her, “Missed you Nan. It hasn’t been a very good few days for me.” She hugs me close whispering, “All better in time baby, he would want you to be strong. It’s time to live, Ember.” I feel the tears escaping down my cheeks. She wipes them away then kisses my forehead and moves to Blayr to fuss over her dress. She knows I wouldn’t want her to make a big deal. If there’s anyone who understand my feelings it’s Nan.
Last night was a big step for me and I know I just have to take baby steps. It won’t happen overnight. I know there will be sad days, but there will be happy days too. Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll convince the hardest judge ... Myself.
I have a huge paper due Friday and I agreed to go out with Tyler tonight. He’s supposed to be here at 7 to pick me up. It’s 4:30. I’ve gotten none of my paper written and my closet is destroyed. I’m nervous. I’ve been biting my nails all day, trying not to panic, and call him to cancel. My first date in... ever? Did Hale and I ever really go on dates? Spending time together just happened, it was never planned. He lived next door so he would just– “Stop,” I tell myself. Focus. I grab my phone from my nightstand. Times like this call for Blayr.
Me– Please tell me you aren’t busy and are close to home?
B– Already on my way, babe. You know I wouldn’t let you leave the house in yoga pants. ; )
Me– Not funny. Maybe I should just cancel? Netflix and wine night? Yes. Pick up some wine at the grocery!
B– Ember Ann, put the phone down and get your ass in the shower! NOW!
Me– Fine.
Tossing my phone on the bed, I head towards the shower and turn the water on hot as I can stand it; then remove my jeans and tee and toss them into the hamper. I’m two seconds from talking myself out of this. I don’t even know why I agreed in the first place. I take a quick shower. As I step out I wrap the towel around myself and I can hear B moving around the house, probably picking me out something short and tight to wear. Sitting on the toilet, I take a deep breath and tell myself, “I can do this. It’s just a damn date. I can do this. You’ve been through hell, it’s just a date. I can do this.”
