Текст книги "Masquerade"

Автор книги: Nyrae Dawn

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

His finger starts at my neck and slowly trails down the column and across my shoulder. “Good.”

Just like that, he steps back, trying to hide who he is again for this crazy masquerade we keep maintaining, and goes back to his perch by the wall.

I’m in a fog, not even sure what happens for the rest of the night. Before I know it, Lunar is closing and Maddox is off work. We don’t touch as we walk outside together.

“Your car here?” he asks, not really looking at me.

“No. Took a cab.”

He nods toward his bike and I take the first step to walk there. Maddox is right behind me. The helmet slides on easily and then there’s a weight on my shoulders and I realize it’s his jacket.

Give it back. I don’t. After slipping my arms through the holes, I wait for Maddox to put his helmet on and then get on the bike. Behind him, I throw my leg over and pull tight against him, right before it rumbles to life.

Wind makes us fly the whole way to my house. When we pull into my driveway, he kills the engine. We get off the bike and I take off the helmet and set it down.

“Thanks for the ride, Scratch.”

“No problem.” His voice is raspy and he needs a shave, both things extremely sexy on him.

“Your sister wants me to go to her birthday party. I wasn’t sure. I told her—”

“You should go.” He shrugs.

“Okay.” I don’t let myself dwell on how quickly that answer came out.

Maddox raises his hand and cups my cheek before his lips drop to mine softly… so very softly. He’s never kissed me like this—with such slow deliberate strokes that turn me inside out.

He pulls about an inch away from me. “I want you so fucking bad.”

“I want you too.”

Maddox presses one more, soft kiss to my lips before he’s grabbing his helmet and putting mine away on the bike. Want. We both want each other but we know it’s not smart to act on it. I hate it but love it at the same time.

“I’ll see you at Masquerade tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah…” My voice is husky.

Maddox climbs on his bike, puts his helmet on, and nods toward the door. Smiling, I shake my head at him, then go to the door and let myself in. After he pulls away, I realize two things: I still have his jacket, and it felt kind of good to have him want me safe inside before he left.

Chapter Twenty ~Maddox~

Sitting on my bike in front of Bee’s house, waiting to take her to Laney’s, I try not to think about the fact that her legs will be wrapped around me in a couple minutes. I’ve done good all week not acting on the impulses I felt like at Lunar that night. Done well not imagining her hands on me and my mouth on her and remembering how she felt and wanting more of it.

Okay, so I thought about it but that’s all. And then… there were times we just work at Masquerade or talk like when we started redoing my art portfolios. In those times it’s like we are. Where I don’t fight the attraction or succumb to it either. Times like sitting in my living room drawing pictures of each other where we’re two people like any other. In those moments we’re not keeping distance neither of us wants. We’re not sleeping with each other and then pretending like it didn’t happen.

It’s easier than I thought. I’ve never really had those things with someone before and there’s a part of me that really likes it. Maybe more than a part. She’s cool, and I’m working toward tattooing. I try not to focus on it all because I don’t want it to go away.

“Hey. I brought your jacket. Sorry I forgot it all week.” Bee steps up to me.

“You can use it. I have another one.” I shrug and she slips it on before putting on the helmet and climbing on behind me as though it’s something she’s done a million times.

The October air feels colder on the bike as we ride toward Laney’s. November’s right around the corner but we’ve had some pretty decent days.

It doesn’t take long to get there. I wait for Bee to get off the bike before I do. “There’s a little courtyard out back. Laney said they’d be out there.” I grab my bag and start walking with Bee toward my sister’s.

My sister’s. With Bee. I reach into my pocket to pull out my cigarettes and light one.

“Haven’t seen you do that in a while.” I wait for more. Wait for her to tell me how disgusting it is or wonder what’s up. She doesn’t do any of it.

This little pang of regret hits me. This strange part of me that wishes she would have. What the hell is going on with me? I’m taking this girl to a party with my family. The only real family I have and I keep waiting to freak out or to get pissed at myself for doing it but none of it’s coming.

“Do it when I feel like it.” I shrug, then stop to put the smoke out. Laney will complain and I don’t feel like fighting with my sister today.

We walk around the building to the courtyard. There are two picnic tables there. The graffiti I’ve seen on them before is covered by tablecloths. Balloons and streamers decorate light posts and trees. Orange and brown leaves are all over the ground, a stereo sits on one of the tables, and the grills are going.

Laney, Adrian, Colt, and Cheyenne are all standing there with their backs to us, and something makes me stop. Makes me take it in. These people love my sister. They did this for her, and maybe it’s not much for a lot of people but it’s huge for her, which makes it important to me.

Mom didn’t do shit for our birthdays after Dad got locked up. We were lucky if she acknowledged us, and even though Laney never said it bothered her, I know it did. She’s happy and wants everyone else to be happy.

My stomach sinks as I take it in, wishing I was the kind of brother who would have thought to do something like this for her.

“He loves her… Most of the time love doesn’t make sense but it kind of does with them,” Bee whispers, and I wonder how she knew what I was thinking. Adrian’s standing behind Laney with his arms around her as they talk to their friends.

After everything that’s happened, he really fucking loves her and that makes the guilt churn inside me more.

“She deserves it.” Before I get the chance to walk toward them, Bee grabs my wrist.

“You’re a good brother. She loves you.”

Half of her sentence is true. “I know she does.” We’re facing each other. Standing here looking at her, I struggle to remember what I was thinking about. What had me upset because she’s gorgeous and she’s so fucking different from anyone I’ve ever known. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have her. No… She’s not really mine, though, is she?

Still, I’m glad she’s here. I don’t remember ever really being glad to be around someone like that.

“Maddy!” Laney yells. “Get your butt over here.”

Bee’s hand slips off my wrist and I realize I’d forgotten she was holding on to it. “I have a feeling we better go or she’ll come drag us there,” Bee says.

That makes me laugh. “You know her already.”

When we get to the tables, I set my bag by the gifts. “Hey.” I hug Laney and then nod at Adrian and Colt. “What’s up?” I say to Cheyenne.

“How are things going at the shop?” Cheyenne asks. I’ve hardly spoken to her but I know she’s my sister’s best friend and she’s trying to be cool to me because of it.

“Pretty good. I’m not tatting yet but—”

“He will be soon,” Bee interrupts. “He’s doing well. He’s a natural. Kind of pisses me off how good he is for a scratch.”

Everyone except me laughs. Her words were light and playful, yet for me they feel heavy. No, not heavy—deep, important because I want this. Want to be good at this one fucking thing because all I was ever good at was ball and that’s not me anymore.

“Jealous?” I tease her back.

“Of what? I taught you everything you know.”

This time I laugh too. Something makes me wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her to me. “You wish. I’m a natural, remember?”

“You have a naturally big head.” She tries to pull away. I hold her tighter.

Bee’s pretending to pout, with her arms crossed and I really want to suck her bottom lip into my mouth. I’ve never seen her act like this before. I don’t want it to stop either.

Turning, I put my mouth next to her ear. “My head isn’t really a conversation I want to have around my sister.” She tenses and then jerks away. Honestly I’m a little freaked out I just pissed her off but she bends and lets out the biggest laugh I’ve ever heard from her. The sound vibrates through me and I wish I could hit repeat to hear it over and over.

“What did we miss?” Cheyenne asks.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t wanna know, Tiny Dancer,” Colt tells her.

Bee’s still laughing and my skin starts to prick, so I look over and Laney and Adrian are both watching… dissecting me. I wish I could put up a shield between us so they can’t find whatever they’re looking for. With Laney, I know what it is. Know that I’m not being like myself right now and she sees it. Or am I being me? Who I used to be?

That can’t be it because Adrian’s looking for something too. He’s seeing something and he doesn’t know shit about who I used to be.

“You’re such an ass!” Bee’s voice breaks through me and I turn away to look at her. Tears are on her face she was laughing so hard and damned if it doesn’t feel good. Seeing her that happy and knowing it’s because of something I said makes me want to find a way to do it again.

* * *

I’m sitting on the top of one of the picnic tables with my feet flat on the seat. We finished eating some barbeque not long ago. Colt and Adrian are standing by the stereo talking while Bee, Laney, and Cheyenne are under one of the trees. Laney says something to Bee and then she laughs before shaking her head.

Laney says something else and then Bee replies and then Cheyenne adds something too. I don’t know why I feel the urge to walk over to them. To find out what they’re talking about to make her smile like that. She looks comfortable with them in a way she doesn’t often look. Yeah she’s strong and confident but she’s also closed off. In the beginning I remember noticing how she seemed to turn her emotions off but they’re shining bright as hell over there right now.

And they have been lately. At my house and at Lunar and hell even when we sit around Masquerade it’s like she’s showing me new pieces of her. Only she holds back. She hasn’t mentioned the thing with her names again and never talks about her parents, but she’s not locked in the invisible box she was in when I first met her. Her eyes and face are more honest.

The wind blows and a brown leaf breaks off the tree and falls on her. Bee picks it off her shoulder and looks at it. Studies it like it’s something important.

Laney says something else to her and Bee smiles before replying, still holding that leaf in her hand. Cheyenne says something to Laney as Bee looks toward the ground, bends over, and picks up another leaf, this one orange. As stupid as it sounds, I feel like I’m interrupting a moment for her—seeing something that’s important, though I don’t get why it would be.

Then she holds them and launches into some other conversation with Cheyenne. It’s the perfect way for Laney to escape as she turns around and heads my way.

I’d get up and walk away but I know she’d follow. I feel like an asshole again, because what kind of brother wouldn’t want to talk to his own sister on her birthday?

“Hey. What are you doing over here all by yourself?” She sits next to me and drops her head to my shoulder. She does that a lot and has since we were kids.

“Nothing…” I feel like I should say more but I don’t know what.

“She’s great, Maddy. I really like her.”

With my eyes, I find Bee talking to Cheyenne and holding those leaves in her hand. I like her too. “She’s cool.”

“She’s strong too. It makes sense. You need a strong girl.”

I shrug my shoulder and she lifts her head to look at me. “We’re friends, little sister. Don’t start doing that.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll stop being honest. Actually, after I say one more thing, I will. Today you’ve laughed in a way I haven’t seen you do since we were younger. You’re different and I think you know it too. You like her, Maddy, and she makes you happy. I hope you recognize that and don’t blow it. You deserve to be happy.”

This is where I’d usually walk away from her. Tell her she’s crazy and an optimist and to stop seeing shit that isn’t there. I don’t do any of it. Instead it’s Laney who stands up. She gets a few feet away when I say, “Hey.” She stops to look at me. “Happy birthday.”

Laney smiles at me. “Thank you. It is a happy birthday.”

Shaking my head at her, I get off the table. “I have to piss. I’ll be right back.”

“Nice, Maddox.” She shakes her head. I start toward their apartment and go to the restroom. As soon as I come out, I hear someone. When I step into the living room, Adrian’s there with the gifts from the table. He had to have come up right behind me.

“The wind is cold, so we’re coming inside.” He sets them on the small coffee table without looking at me. Not that I blame him. I’m always a prick to him. Even went as far as to follow him out of the state when he found out our dad’s the one who killed his son. Back then we thought Ashton was his nephew. I hit him and called him a pussy for walking away from Laney, not knowing it was his son he’d watched die.

“Thanks.”

Adrian looks at me, obviously as surprised at my word as I am.

“And what’s that for?”

“For taking care of her. For this party. It means a lot to her.”

“I know. It doesn’t take much to make her happy.”

“But you did it. Doesn’t matter if it’s not much, you did it.” And I didn’t. Mom probably didn’t call her even though I have a missed call from her on my cell right now. If I listen to the message, I know it will be bitching at me because she has to know I’m with Laney today.

There’s more to say but I can’t find the words. I’m saved anyway when the door opens and Bee, Cheyenne, and Colt come in, everyone carrying some of the stuff from outside.

“Hey, Little Ghost. Let’s open your gifts.” Adrian kisses Laney and she smiles at him. This big fucking smile that holds so much happiness.

Bee walks over and stands next to me against the wall while Adrian, Laney, Colt, and Cheyenne all sit on the couches and chair around the coffee table. We’re leaning against the wall to the hallway behind the couch.

“Wanna go sit by her?” Bee asks, but I shake my head.

“Nah. I’m good here.”

Laney opens her first present—gift certificates for a dance class from Cheyenne.

“I need someone to dance with me!” she tells my sister, and I can see from the look in Laney’s eyes that she wants to do it too.

“I got you something else because I felt all fucked up giving you dance lessons.” Colt nods toward one of the gifts, which Laney opens next. It’s an iTunes gift card to get more music for when she runs, he tells her.

“I’m giving her my present later.” Adrian nudges her and everyone laughs. I suddenly want to kick his ass again. That’s not the stuff a guy wants to hear about his little sister, even though I know he’s giving us shit. He probably got her something that is perfect for her because that’s how he is with her. It’s fucking crazy to see but I’m glad she has it.

“In my bag.” I nod toward it and immediately wish I had decided to give her my gift later too. It’s not something I want all these people to see but I can’t be a dick and say anything now.

Bee scoots closer to me and I glance down at her, wondering how she knew to do that, even though she’s not looking at me.

Laney grabs my bag and opens it. My body is begging me to walk out of the room as my pulse kicks up. With one of my hands, I dig my nails into my arm as she pulls out the square gift.

Slowly, like it’s a fucking treasure or something, Laney starts pulling the wrapping paper off. The second it’s open, she freezes, her eyes not leaving what’s in front of her.

My muscles tighten and I feel eyes on me that aren’t there. Adrian’s looking over her shoulder at the picture in the frame.

Laney still doesn’t look up, so Adrian says, “It’s a drawing. It’s a beach with a sand castle and two kids next to it. Fuck, this is really good. Did you do this?” He looks at me. Turing from him, I nod.

“It was my favorite day with all of us together,” Laney’s soft voice breaks through the room. “We were on vacation. Dad had been gone off and on for a while and we finally got to spent time together. Maddy was upset. He didn’t want to go and I didn’t know why.”

Because it was a lie. I knew it was a fucking lie and Dad was a cheat and a gambler.

“I was bugging him like I always did. I wanted to have fun and I didn’t get why he was so angry. When we got to the beach, he tried to go off by himself. I wouldn’t let him. I begged him to teach me how to make a sand castle. He said no at first, but then I cried and so he did it.”

Finally she looks up at me and her eyes are wet with tears. “You always tried to make me happy.”

Because I was lying to the family. Because I was selfish and kept my mouth shut so I could have money for college to play ball.

When I don’t reply, Adrian asks, “What happened next?”

He’s like that, I’ve noticed. He wants words, talking in a way I’ve never fucking seen.

“We built three of them. The first one fell when we were half done and the second got messed up with the water. I told Maddox it was okay and he said no, that we’d make another one. And so we did and it was incredible. Perfect and then we lay next to it like we could somehow protect it. Later, Dad came over and talked to me about it. Maddy left and I told my dad how we made three of them because Maddox wanted me to have the perfect sand castle and Dad said he’d make another perfect one with me too. A few minutes later, Mom tripped on it and it got wrecked.”

Laney shakes her head. “Which obviously she screwed up on purpose because she was angry that Dad and Maddox were paying attention to me. I cried again and then Mom and Dad walked away and got into an argument. Maddox came back over and said we’d make another one but then we had to leave. We never went back to the beach after that.”

It wasn’t long after that everything went to shit. Dad got drunk and killed Adrian’s son.

I shrug. “Thought I’d keep my promise. No one can fuck this one up.” At that I turn for the door, really needing some space for a minute. “I need a smoke. I’ll be right back.”

Behind me, I slam the door, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of here.

Chapter Twenty-One ~Bee~

Laney stands as though she’s going to go after Maddox. Adrian grabs her hand, while at the same time I ask, “Can I go?” I’m not sure what makes me think I will be any good talking with him, but there’s this pull coming from deep within me, drawing me his way.

“Yeah… of course.” She sits back down and I’m already halfway to the door, not quite sure when I even started moving.

Behind me, I close it softly and walk down the stairs in search of Maddox. There’s a strange tingle in my belly. It’s not quite nerves, though definitely not excitement either. Whatever it is, I concentrate on the fact that I called off Maddox’s sister—the only person he really cares about—so I could go and talk to him myself.

The first place I can think to look is by his bike. Maddox is sitting on the curb, cigarette in hand. Even from behind, I can see how rigid and tense his body is. What he did back there was huge for him and honestly I’m surprised he did it.

“You know I’d have to kick your ass if you tried to leave without me, right?” Stepping next to him, I hope light is the best way to play this.

He doesn’t reply.

I walk past Maddox to his bike and throw my leg over it, grip the handles that feel welcome in my hands. “Did you decide I can drive it yet?”

He takes another drag of his cigarette but doesn’t reply.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had a good ride—I mean drive.”

At that he looks up at me through his dark lashes and half his mouth rises in a smile.

“Hasn’t been that long.”

“Of course you speak when I start in with the sexual innuendoes.”

Maddox puts his cigarette out on the concrete, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a mint, and pops it into his mouth. “What are you doing out here, Bee?”

Still sitting on the bike, I let go of the handles so I’m straight. “I would have thought that was pretty obvious.” I pause for a few seconds, then add, “The drawing was incredible, Scratch.”

He rubs a hand across the dark brown stubble on his face, then smiles cockily. “I know.”

An unwelcome warmth spreads through me. Damn he’s gorgeous. “Then why are we out here?”

“You know why.”

Yeah, yeah, I do. Because he’s like me. It’s hard to open yourself up for people. I wonder if he also fears that people who are important to him won’t like what they see. “You knew it would be hard going into it. Before you gave it to her—hell, when you drew it—but you did it anyway. That’s something.” Something I wouldn’t do. All Maddox has is Laney and he tries to be there for her. I have a whole family of people who love me and I run away from them. Guilt ignites a wildfire that scorches through me.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Yeah.” He’s staring at me with those deep gray eyes of his. My skin savors the feel of them on me but my brain makes me turn away. It’s too much, especially knowing I like his gaze there.

“You looked like you were getting along well with them—Laney and Cheyenne.”

His change of subject is surprising and welcoming at the same time. “She’s cool. I like her. I didn’t go to school when I was younger, so I didn’t really hang out with a lot of girls in high school. I lived in a wealthy area and most of the girls weren’t too into hanging out with the chick who had her nose pierced and didn’t date guys but had sex.”

Two things spar for my attention at once. First, I told him something about myself. The words had come out without a thought. The second is that for the first time, I feel a little embarrassed about my past. It’s not that I’ve slept with a ton of guys. But I’ve never been an angel either. It’s not something that has ever bothered me but I don’t want Maddox to think I sleep around. Why does it matter? There’s nothing wrong with safely enjoying my sexuality.

It’s not like we didn’t meet trying to have a one-night stand anyway. Whatever he thinks about me is probably already engraved into his mind.

“Not that there were a lot of men—”

“Holy shit.” Maddox pushes to his feet.

“What?”

Within a couple strides, he’s reached me. His right hand comes toward me and cups my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek.

“You’re blushing. I thought you were too bad-ass to blush.”

I smile. “I know lots of good tricks.”

“Don’t do that.”

Maddox hasn’t lowered his hand, so I pull back. “Do what?”

“Feel like you have to make excuses. It’s like you said the first night, there’s nothing wrong with a woman knowing what she wants. And I can tell you’re not the type of person to sleep with everyone you meet.”

Person. I love that he said person and not woman.

“I worry about you, Leila, I mean, Bee. I don’t want you to get hurt or wake up one day and regret where you are. You’re such a beautiful, smart young woman. You could have anything. Your sister has someone she’d like to introduce you to. We could go shopping and get your hair done. I think you’d be so happy if you met a nice boy…”

If I could do anything, what was wrong with picking to be a tattoo artist? Did my happiness revolve around meeting a nice guy? Being like everyone else in my family? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, except that it’s not me.

But then Mom had hugged me. Hugged me and told me she loved me. And it only made me question love more. How can you love someone you want to change? I know she wishes I was that girl who wants nothing more than to meet a nice guy. The girl she probably thinks I would be if she’d raised me.

“Where’d you go?” Maddox’s voice breaks through my thoughts. He has his finger tilting my chin up so I’m looking at him.

He’s so close that I can see every little detail about him, like the small dimple below his lip that doesn’t show often. I want to rub my cheek against the stubble on his face and feel his lips as they possess mine. “Nowhere…,” whispers past my lips.

“My bike’s too big for you to handle but you look sexy as hell on it.” Maddox leans closer. “Mmm, I wish I could see your ink.”

He might not be a nice boy and I am definitely not the perfect, nice girl but I’ve never wanted him with the burning passion engulfing me right now. Before I have the chance to kiss him, Maddox’s lips come down on mine. Both his hands are cupping my face as I straddle his bike and he kisses the hell out of me. His tongue pushes past my lips, deep inside my mouth like he’s starving for me the same way I’m suddenly starving for him. I’ve never wanted—needed—anyone the way need surges through me right now but he feels too good and tastes too good for me to worry about it.

I’m wishing he was on this bike with me. That we were somewhere else so we could do so much more and he could cure the ache inside me.

Suddenly, he’s pulling away and I’m fighting not to pull him back to me. He doesn’t go far, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear, his mouth only inches from mine.

“We keep ending up this way.” His hand slides away and I wish he’d put it on me again.

“I know.”

“I’ve never…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what the fuck to think about it.”

At that I laugh. Me either. “Your sister’s probably wondering where we are.”

Maddox closes his eyes for a second as though he’s trying to gather himself before he steps back. “Let’s go. I don’t trust you alone with my bike.” When he smiles, I see the dimple again. Then he holds out his hand to help me off the motorcycle, and I let him.

* * *

When we go back inside, Laney gives Maddox a hug and then we all move into the kitchen where I assume we’re about to do the cake. I’m surprised when Adrian pulls out one cupcake with a candle in it. After lighting it, we all sing “Happy Birthday” and then Adrian opens the fridge and pulls out caramel apples for everyone.

Laney looks at him like he had just handed her the world, and then he leans forward and whispers to her, “Such a sweet, Little Ghost.”

Maddox and I stand back from the rest of the group as they talk and laugh with each other. He should be there with them, laughing and talking, but I know he never would be. If I wasn’t here right now, he’d stand back from the group alone.

The urge to reach for him teases me. I don’t let myself follow through. “What’s with the apples?”

Maddox shrugs. “Hell if I know. It’s not the first time he’s given her one.”

My eyes are drawn to them as they stand close. Laney right next to Adrian and Cheyenne the same way with Colt. It’s like they complete each other. They give each other something that no one else in the world can. I’ve seen that in Mom and Dad, even in Rex and Melody, but with them… it almost feels like seeing it with someone like me.

A strange sort of longing comes out of hiding inside me and I wish it would go away. That’s not me. I don’t want things like this. Hell, Maddox and I can hardly talk to each other about anything important. He doesn’t know much about me at all.

But he knows me… somehow he knows me.

And I like that he does.

“Are you ready to go?” Maddox has leaned over, his mouth next to my ear.

After looking at the group one more time, I tell him, “Yeah… I think so.”

“Laney, we’re going to head out.” Maddox nods toward the door.

“Good seein’ ya again, man.” Colt nods at Maddox as Cheyenne comes toward me.

My body tenses when she pulls me into a hug. “I think I want another tattoo!”

At that I laugh and then pull back. “Name the time.”

I’m not sure if Adrian and Maddox say anything to each other because when I look, Laney is hugging Scratch. Her face is angled toward the other side of him and I can tell she’s saying something in his ear. She’s so relaxed but he looks slightly uncomfortable. Laney pulls back and he ruffles her hair and says, “I know.”

It’s so not my business; still, I want to know what she said. Or maybe it’s that I want to know what he heard. Everything about Maddox makes me curious.

“I’m so glad you could come.” Laney turns to me next and pulls me into a hug as well. It’s so crazy being around these girls. I’m not used to being around women I feel comfortable with—women I feel like I can be myself around—and it gives me this strange sort of happiness I didn’t know I missed.

The whole way home I can’t stop thinking about it. I hardly register my arms and legs around Maddox as he drives his motorcycle through town. Today was a good day. I had fun and felt okay being me… like I had when I lived with Melody and Rex? They loved me for me. Mom and Dad love me even though they wish I were someone else. I can’t keep putting my parents down and not Rex and Melody, though. It’s not like they are perfect either. They stole me.

Little flashes of fear flicker through me again. The feeling of being grabbed… of being confused. They stole me and told me my parents were dead. And it hurt. I never let myself remember that I’d been sad at first. How could they hurt me if they loved me? Or did that mean they loved me more? Because they risked it all for me and wanted me so badly.

The world would be easier without so many questions of what love is and how to do it properly. I see it when Laney and Maddox look at each other or between Adrian and Laney and Colt and Cheyenne. I’ve seen it with my parents looking at me or Rex and Melody looking at me and I’ve felt it too. And still I don’t understand it. Don’t get how people can love someone and want them to be someone different or love them and hurt them.

Before I know it, we’re pulling into my driveway and Maddox is turning off his motorcycle. With a kick, I pull my leg over the bike and pull the helmet from my head. “Tell me about your sister and Adrian.” I don’t know why I need to know but there’s suddenly this thirst that I can’t quench. There has to be a story there. Maybe if I know it, it’ll help me understand.

One, two, three, four, five. Maddox sits on the bike, not looking at me. Then he pulls the helmet from his head and I know I struck a chord—that the way his sister and Adrian got together somehow ties to him too. I see the ache in him that he tries so hard to bury. “Shit. I’m sorry. It’s not my business. You don’t have to tell me anything.”