Текст книги "Charade"
Автор книги: Nyrae Dawn
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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 14 страниц)
~CHAPTER EIGHTEEN~
Cheyenne
I shove the picture of Mom under my mattress and jump out of bed. I didn’t expect him to get a hold of me again today, but I’m glad he did. Glad I can shove the memories away and let Colt distract me.
I slip on a pair of slippers and a bra, even though I might not have it on for long, before sneaking out the door and down the hall. Thankfully the RA is nowhere in sight, but I have to steer clear of the front entrance. It’s guarded like a high security prison.
My heart beats fast, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m scared of getting caught, excited to see him, or because once it’s broken it goes haywire from time to time.
I ignore it all because Colt gives me something to concentrate on.
When I get to the door I eye the halls to make sure no one’s around before I slide my card and the door clicks open. Colt’s standing there wearing the same thing he did earlier and a smirk that mixes “Cocky Colt” and something I don’t recognize.
“Don’t give me that look.” I shake my head.
“The look that says you got down here awful quick?”
“Who came to who?”
He shrugs. “I don’t think anyone could blame me. You gonna let me in?”
“Yeah. Make sure you’re quiet. If we get caught, I don’t know you. You’re just some creepy stalker who’s following me up to my room.” I turn to walk away, but Colt grabs my arm.
“Is your roommate here?”
I roll my eyes because it’s a little late for him to ask me that. Colt seems to get it because he gives me another smirk and then his lips find mine. I’m squeezed between the wall and his hard body and all I can think is, damn this man can kiss.
Colt’s hands move to my hips as though he’s trying to hold me in place. I want to tell him I’m not going anywhere, but my mouth is too busy being devoured by his.
“I have a room for this,” I’m finally able to say when his lips go to my throat.
“I couldn’t wait. I’ve already been a saint.” He pulls away and I wish I hadn’t said anything at all.
The rattle of a doorknob sounds from behind us. I grab Colt’s hand and turn down a hall. It’s the long way, but we can still get to my room from here. The risk of getting caught is more likely, but I’m pretty sure no one besides the RA would care.
This is the only kind of situation where Colt would let me lead him around. We’re not running, but walking fast and for the first time, I realize these hallways are way too long.
I turn again, before slipping into a stairwell. We’re both up the stairs and then my head is out a door to make sure no one is in the hall. My room is only three doors down, so we slip out. The second we’re inside his mouth finds mine again.
My instinct is to stop him. To use the hand I have on his hip and push him away. I mean, give a girl a minute. I haven’t let anyone take advantage of me in a long time, but then I remember this is what I want. He’s not taking advantage of anything. We both want the same thing, so instead of pushing, my hand on his hip pulls him closer.
Then he pulls away, but he’s still standing so close to me I can feel every part of him. Feel his desire for me. Colt’s breathing’s heaving and I feel the heat of it float across my neck. I’m stuck between asking him why he stopped and feeling slightly glad he did. This is new territory. How do you move forward when your plan is just to hook-up? Do we talk? Just go for it?
Stop it!
I hate that feeling—not knowing what to do. Without knowing it, Colt saves me. “You’re a dancer.”
I’m wondering how he knew, but then I remember the pictures on the dresser. Me and the girls on my dance team in high school. We’d just won state.
“I am.”
“Holy shit, I’m fucking around with a cheerleader.” Colt laughs.
“I’m not a cheerleader, I’m a dancer. And who cares if I was?”
Colt looks at me, steps back far enough that his eyes trace every single spot on my body. I shiver.
“You’re right. Why am I complaining?”
He steps closer again. So close. Holy shit, he’s gorgeous. I’m smarter than to tell him that though. His jean are slightly baggy like they always are, his legs on either side of me. His hands are on my hips, the finger of his right hand teasing the skin under my shirt.
“How’s your mom?” I ask. It feels right—talking to someone in a situation like this. I think. I don’t want to get too close to him, but I’m actually nervous and I’m not sure how to stop it. Talk or kiss? I know which one sounds like more fun.
He tenses just a little. “I don’t want to talk about my mom. Do you?”
I shake my head because he’s right. Talking is overrated.
Colt pulls off his shirt, hooks one of his fingers through mine and backs up. “Which bed?”
Oh, he’s good. He’s definitely done this before. I laugh because had this been a different situation. If I wanted more and he wasn’t so completely different from me, I could see how a girl could lose her head around him.
“Something funny?”
“The one on the right,” I say rather than answer.
Colt lies on my bed and pulls me down behind him. I expect him to go for my clothes, but instead he kisses me again.
“Blanket,” I mutter, between kisses.
“If you’re cold I’m doing something wrong.”
“What if my roommate comes home?”
“Wuss,” he teases, but grabs the blanket and pulls it over us. I don’t know why I needed it yet. It’s not like we’re undressed, but I somehow feel safer—like we’re not as laid bare as we were before.
I’m not sure if I mean clothes either.
Colt pushes a hand through my hair and takes my mouth again. It’s a slow exploration. Each sweep of his tongue sends little jolts of pleasure through me. They’re like an eraser, wiping away all the thoughts I don’t want to think about.
I’m surprised he’s not just going for it. This isn’t supposed to be about foreplay or anything else, but he’s taking his time and I’m grateful for it. Not that I would ever admit that. And the longer he’s here, the longer I don’t have to think about anything else.
His hand slides up my shirt and again, I shiver. All I can think about or focus on is Colt and what I feel and it’s so very much what I need. It’s on my terms and it’s what I want, when I want and it won’t matter if I walk in on him with another girl or if he walks away or anything else.
“Sit up.” His mouth is going down my body as his hands are moving my shirt up. I lean forward and Colt keeps pushing until my shirt slips over my head and lands on the floor.
His mouth nips at my breast through my bra as he uses one hand to unhook it. Pleasure bubbles inside me. I ache everywhere, but it’s the kind of ache I want.
“Oh, God, I can’t believe you just did that one handed. That should make me run right now.”
It distracts me from the fact that he’s seeing me without a shirt on for the first time. I want to cover up, but I don’t have to because I’m in control and I don’t freak out anymore.
“Do you want to run, Cheyenne?” I expect to hear a joke or feel his mouth, but neither happens. He’s on top of me now and I look at him.
His eyes are so blue the sky has nothing on them. “No.”
Then comes the smirk and he looks down at my chest. His finger brushes one of my nipples and if it didn’t sound cheesy I would admit that I feel that one touch everywhere.
“What do you want?” He leans forward and his mouth takes the place of his finger on my breast. He flicks his tongue across the tip and I arch toward him.
“I don’t know.” I sort of hate the answer. I should know. I should be able to say, but I can’t. I just want to feel and be taken away from everything else. The picture under my mattress and the nightmares keeping me awake and how I thought Gregory mattered when something that small shouldn’t have had any significance on my life at all.
And suddenly, I want to cry. Why do I want to cry? I shake my head and close my eyes and will the tears away. It’s not because of Colt. God, what he’s doing feels so good. Maybe it’s because it does feel good and I don’t know if I should feel that way right now.
When his mouth stops moving, I let my eyes flutter, hoping no wetness springs free.
“This is going to give you a huge head and I’ll probably regret it later, but you are so hot,” he says.
He’s not even looking me in the eyes. His gaze is firmly on my breasts and it’s all so ridiculous and crazy and just what I needed that I can’t stop myself from laughing.
Finally, he peers back up at me and the look in his eyes tells me he knows I was struggling a few minutes ago. “Should I keep going?”
When did I become so weak? I’ve never had to be coddled in my whole life yet this guy I hardly know has had to do it over and over. Was there ever anyone to do it before? Or would I have accepted it?
“If you don’t, I’m going to have to get angry.”
Colt tsks. “We wouldn’t want that.”
And then his mouth is on me again. My nipples tingle at his touch. His hand moves down. Under my sweats and my panties too. I tense when his finger pushes in—the good kind of tense because it feels so good I can’t handle it.
I already feel myself starting to come apart as I move with his hand. Heat scorches up my body. He was right. I’m definitely not cold. Colt’s hand and mouth continue dueling out their pleasure as I bite down hard. A burst of pleasure shoots through me as he pushes another finger in. I don’t want to scream, but the slow fizzle inside me is building to a bomb ready to explode at any second.
And just as it does, just as I come undone, flying higher and hit with more pleasure than I’ve ever felt, I start to drift my way back to Earth. As Colt’s slides up my body again and I know he’s moving so he can take his pants off. The door jerks open.
“Cheyenne! You’ll never guess—oh. Wow. Holy shit!” Andy doesn’t even turn her head.
“Andy!” I scream. Colt is on top of me and I’m covered, but I still feel my cheeks heat.
“Fuck,” Colt mutters and I’m starting to read him well enough to know what that means. This is over for now.
“You mind?” I ask, trying to play it off. “We’re a little busy right now.”
A smile stretches across her face and she winks. “I’m out of here.” The door is almost closed before her head pops in again. “Hot. Seriously. You’re way better looking than that other guy.” And then she’s gone.
Colt doesn’t move and neither do I. Finally he says, “We’re going to my house next time.”
I go for trying to sound as light as he does. “Your fault. You could have called me over.”
He’s already moving and sitting up. He leans over the bed, grabs my shirt and hands it to me. I suddenly feel bad because I’m pretty okay and got some relief, but he didn’t.
“What about…?”
This makes him smirk.
“Glad I’m amusing to you.”
“That’s nice of you to worry about my well-being, but I’m good for now. You’ll owe me one.” He winks and stands up, grabs his shirt and pulls it on.
Whatever. “I was getting a little bored anyway. I should do some homework.”
“Bullshit.” But he’s smiling and I think he’s having as much fun as me. If this was Gregory, we’d do our homework together. Or he’d keep going, but what I have with Colt is different. It’s not about anything more than this.
“I’ll call you, okay?” He looks unsure. Licks his lips and starts to bend toward me, but stops himself.
I almost tell him it’s okay to kiss me, but I don’t want it to look like I want him to kiss me if that’s not what he wants.
“Sounds good.”
With one more glance, Colt heads for the door. His hand touches the knob, but he doesn’t move. I hear as he lets out a deep breath, before he turns around.
“Tell me I’m not a bastard for doing this.”
He’s not, but it’s cool that he wonders. “You’re a bastard, but not for this. No worries.”
It’s the right thing to say because he gives me a small nod and a smile. “Keep that. The honesty.” Colt pulls the door open and steps out. “I’ll see you later, Tiny Dancer.”
Just like Andy, he’s gone.
I can’t help but think I like that name much better than princess.
Still, the thoughts rush back in quickly. Rolling over, I pull the picture out from under my mattress and cover my head with the blanket. My mind immediately goes where it does every night. Wondering if she knew what would happen when she left me. Wondering if she wanted to leave me and what her last minutes were like.
~CHAPTER NINETEEN~
Colt
I tune out in class even more than I usually do. I come because it’s important to Mom and I do the shit I need to do to get by, but that’s about it. Luckily, stuff like this isn’t hard for me. Are my grades the best? Nope, but they’re what I need to get the scholarships and financial aid I need to keep myself locked up in this place.
And it works. The professors feel like they’re doing their job. Mom believes I’m suddenly going to have this incredible life she never did because I’m on my way to a piece of paper that doesn’t do anything to guarantee me a job when I’m finished. It makes her happy which makes me feel like I’m not the shittiest son in the world so it all works out.
But today, I feel like being here even less than I usually do. Christ, Cheyenne felt good the other day. The little whimpers from the back of her throat. Her body all lined against mine. I’m still trying to figure out why I pulled the breaks. Yeah her roommate came home, but she left and there wasn’t anything stopping me from staying and finishing what we started.
What my body is jonesing to finish right now, but I felt like an ass. When I’m with a girl I do it so I don’t have to feel. But I was feeling and I don’t like it. All those unwelcomed emotions made me bail.
But we both want it. Both want it bad so that makes my guilt even more fucked up.
When class gets over I grab my stuff and head out. My car’s running for now so I head out to the lot and get in, turn it on, but don’t go anywhere.
I don’t know why the hell I’m sitting here, flipping my phone over in my hand. My head is all screwed up, but I don’t know why, which pisses me off more.
My phone beeps and I turn it over to see a text from Cheyenne.
What’s up?
Waitin on u I text back. Which is only half a bullshit answer, but it sounds good. Today’s a late day for me so it’s already after three, but I don’t know what her schedule is. For all I know she’s not even here.
I have another hour…after?
My pulse jackhammers like I’m a sixteen-year-old about to get laid for the first time.
Meet u at ur dorm Is all I say and then drive my dumbass around like I have a reason to wait for her when she can drive herself.
When she walks up a little over an hour later I’m leaning against my car waiting for her. She’s back to public Cheyenne with tight jeans that probably cost more than my whole wardrobe and a shirt that shows a nice amount of cleavage.
“You coming over?” I ask, crossing my arms.
“You inviting me?” She does the same.
I hold in my smile because I don’t like the fact that she makes me want to do it so often. “I just did.”
She rolls her eyes. “I could have found my way to your place.”
I shrug because I don’t know how to reply without looking like a pussy.
“You drive me crazy,” she says, but she’s walking over to my car. I get back into the driver’s seat and we pull away.
We’re not in the car for two minutes when her cell rings. I watch as Cheyenne presses silent.
“You hungry?” I ask.
“I am, actually.”
“We’ll hit a drive-thru.”
Her phone rings again. She silences it. After we grab our food it beeps another time. “You know I don’t give a shit if that’s your pretty boy, right? Play your games if you want to. We both know what this is.” I tap my fingers against the steering wheel, frustrated.
“Be careful, Colt or I’ll think you’re jealous.”
“Be careful or I’ll think you want me to be.”
She sighs and I’m pretty sure I pissed her off more than I wanted to.
“It’s my aunt,” she finally says as we pull up in front of my tiny ass house.
Fuck. And again I feel like a prick. “You don’t wanna talk to her?” I kill the engine.
“Not really. She’s freaking out. Thinks I’m having a hard time and wants me to come home.”
I flash back to the night in the yard, seeing her all huddled in the corner behind the shed. I almost tell her she is having a hard time and that maybe she should go home, but I’m not sure it’s my job. Glancing at her hands I see they’re shaking slightly and her breasts are heaving against her shirt.
So I do what I’m here for. What she needs from me. I slide my hand through her hair and pull her to me. Silence her thoughts and her words with my mouth. Cheyenne kisses me greedily like she always does, like she’s hungry for me and I know I’m starving for her, so I kiss her deeper. Let my other hand slide to her leg and up.
When we pull away we’re both breathing hard, but I don’t think she’s thinking about her aunt or her mom anymore. “Damn I’m good.” I tell her which earns me a smack on the arm.
We get out and head inside. I’m not surprised to see Adrian sitting in the living room with a few people around him. Beers are on the coffee table and they’re listening to music on the TV.
This place is never empty and drives me fucking crazy.
“’Sup?” Adrian says. He sounds half asleep. “Beers in the fridge,” he says and I’m about to tell him no, but then Cheyenne says thanks and heads toward the kitchen.
I fall into the chair and realize this is going to take a while.
She comes back in the room and hands me a beer, which I take, then she sits on the couch next to Adrian. It’s the only empty spot. Perry and Dax are sitting on the other side of him. Perry’s girl Monique comes down the hall and sits on his lap. I see Dax and Perry both eyeing Chey then me like they’re trying to figure out what’s going on.
I don’t usually come home with girls. Deena’s around, but that’s just because she’s always partying with everyone.
I’m really not feeling this whole thing. The hang out with Cheyenne and my friends. It makes it feel like something we’re not, but I sit here and eat my food while she does the same and Adrian, suddenly awake, talks to her.
A knocks sounds from the door and I know things are about to get a whole lot worse.
I eye Adrian who doesn’t move so I get up. “Fucker.” I call him as I open the door. Jack and Oscar come in.
“What the fuck’s up!” Oscar yells. He’s always acting like an idiot and drives me insane.
“Beer sucks. I have Tequila.” He has a brown paper bag in his hand. I close the door and keep standing.
“Damn. Who are you?” Jack says, walking up to Cheyenne.
I take a step forward to tell to back off. To tell him she’s with me, and to keep the fuck away, but I don’t because she’s not my anything. We don’t have any promises and I don’t want any so I sit back to see how she’s going to handle it.
Adrian does it for her. “She’s Colt’s girl. Back off.”
His words piss me off. Yeah I was close to saying the same thing, but she’s not mine and I don’t want her to be. Not completely at least. But I also don’t want them trying to get with her so I don’t say anything.
“Wow. Colt’s girl, huh? I didn’t know that.” She looks at me and winks.
“Let’s play strip poker.” Oscar says.
Both Monique and Cheyenne shoot him down.
“Quarters?” Monique says. Neither her or Chey have said a word to each other. Girls are crazy like that, always sizing each other up and neither one wanting to talk until the other does it first.
I expect Cheyenne to say no, but she shrugs her shoulders as if she’s game. Which might not be a bad idea because I obviously need a drink to chill the hell out.
We move to the kitchen table, all of us crammed in around the thing. Monique is again on Perry’s lap, her hundreds of little braids hanging down over her shoulder.
Adrian pulls out his pipe and weed and everyone around the table but me and Cheyenne smoke and then the bottles in the middle and we all have our glasses filled.
I don’t know what makes me do it, but I lean over to her ear and nip it with my teeth. “If you get drunk, I can’t have my way with you.”
I watch as goosebumps blanket her bare shoulder. Damn it’s hot. I want to kiss them. Trace all of them with my tongue but there’s a table full of people here and I don’t do shit like that. Public displays are for couples and we’re not a couple. What Deena and I did we pretty much did in private. Yeah everyone knew and I didn’t care, but I also didn’t go around whispering shit in her ear.
I lean back in my chair to give us some space.
Cheyenne turns to me and smiles. “Don’t worry. I’ll be good.”
I want to tell her I don’t want her to be good. Instead I lean forward and add a little more tequila to my glass.
***
I am so fucked up. I don’t remember the last time I drank so much, but one game led to another. It was crazy watching Cheyenne with my friends. They’re so different but she was laughing her ass off the whole night and her and Adrian kept sharing these looks that if I wanted more than just to get her into bed, I’d be pissed about.
Everyone just left and I lean against the kitchen counter and crook my finger. “Come here,” I say.
Cheyenne steps between my legs and I’m dizzy as hell, but I still manage to kiss her. She tastes like tequila and my body is yelling, finally at me because this is what I’ve wanted all night, but then I have to grip the counter to keep myself standing up.
“You are so trashed. Didn’t you tell me not to get too drunk?” She smiling, but I don’t feel like smiling. I try to kiss her again, but she backs up. “You’re too messed up, Colt. I should go.”
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be good.”
She pauses for a few seconds before she says, “I should go.”
But she doesn’t sound like she wants to go and I sure as hell don’t want her to go, so I hook my finger in the loop on her jeans and start toward my room. She’s laughing, but following me. I slam the door behind us, take off my shirt, kick off my shoes and step out of my jeans.
“I just need a few minutes.” The room is spinning. Why the hell did I drink this much? I climb into bed in my boxer-briefs and lean on my elbow and watch her. “Are you scared, Tiny Dancer?” I ask.
Like I knew she would she toes her shoes off. I watch as her jeans come next and she’s standing there in these bright purple panties against her caramel skin.
“I’d ask if you had something I could wear, but that feels too official, doesn’t it? Me wearing your clothes?” She smirks. At least I think she does.
“You won’t need clothes.”
She shrugs, turns out the light and slips into bed with me.
“Just a few minutes,” I tell her again. I close my eyes to keep the room still. Feel her against me. “You gotta do me a favor.” My lips are against her neck. I lick her skin there just because I need to taste her.
“What’s that?” She sounds sleepy. Or maybe it’s me. I don’t know.
What was the favor? “My mom.” I try to kiss her neck again, but don’t have the energy. My brain is telling me to shut the hell up, but my drunken self doesn’t listen. “I need you to go see her with me.”
Cheyenne’s quiet for a few second. I’m too messed up to worry about it.
“Sure…yeah. Okay. I can do that.”
And then nothing.
~CHAPTER TWENTY~
Cheyenne
My sleep is unbroken for only the second time since I found out about mom. It feels good to get a full night. Not to be chased and plagued by nightmares that make me feel weak. Of memories I can’t change, and questions I’ll probably never have answers to.
I can’t believe Colt asked me to go see his mom. I wonder if he meant it. If it will be one of those things people say when they’re too drunk to know better, and try to forget afterward. It’s what I’m assuming. I don’t know how I feel about it either way so in some aspects, it would be easier if he forgets.
It felt good to be asked though. I wonder why he did. I know it couldn’t have been something he wanted, which means somehow his mom knows about me. What did he tell her? That I’m the reason he was late the other day? Some messed up girl he’s messing around with?
But not really. I’m the girl he’s supposed to be having fun with, but we really haven’t done much.
Colt’s hand grips my waist and squeezes. Not too tight, but strong enough that I know he’s there. That he’s awake. My heart speeds up and I breathe harder.
“No more games. I want you,” he says into my ear. His breath is warm. His whole body is as he molds against my back. I feel his erection as he nudges against me.
“Roll over, Cheyenne.”
I do what he says and his mouth comes down on mine. It’s more urgent and needy than all our other kisses combined.
“I thought beer didn’t taste good the next day?” I ask when his mouth moves down to my neck.
“No time.” Colt licks my collarbone and then sucks my flesh into this mouth. I moan and arch toward him.
He’s putting up the barriers again. I know it, but I don’t care. We need them there so both of us remember exactly what this is about.
So both of us are able to forget.
Colt pushes my shirt up and I lift so he can get it over my head. I want it gone. Nothing between us because his hands feel so good on me. When he touches me I don’t think of anything else. Don’t feel anything else and all I need is that reprieve.
My bra comes next. I don’t have time to feel embarrassed because his hot, wet mouth covers my nipple and again all there is, is Colt.
I tighten a hand in his hair, fisting it, not sure if I’m trying to pull him closer because I need more or pushing him away because it’s too much.
He groans. From my pulling his hair or because I feel as good to him or he does to me, I don’t know and I don’t care. I let my other hand slide down the smooth plane of his back, under his boxer-briefs and cup him.
“Fuck,” He rasps and moves against my center. He curses too much and I want to tell him, but I don’t think I can form words right now. He’s so hard, nudged between my legs and rubbing me just right.
And then he’s gone and I miss the weight on top of me. Colt’s looking down at me with those blue, blue eyes, his hair even more tousled then I’ve ever seen it.
“Are you sure?” he confirms. I almost smile because he asked. He’s so hard and rough, but he has this caring side I don’t know if he realizes is there.
I’m not sure it’s a good thing that it’s there, so I say, “I’m smart enough to know what I want.”
Without a word he climbs off the bed. I watch the sinewy muscles of his back move as he walks to his dresser, opens the top drawer and pulls out a condom.
Nerves suddenly sneak their way in. I’ve only ever been with Gregory. I only planned to be with him because we worked and he gave me what I needed, but now, even though I know more than anything I want Colt, it scares me.
Maybe the fact that I want him so much is what freaks me out.
I reach for the blanket, but he tsks at me. “Don’t do that. You’re not shy, Tiny Dancer.” And that easily, he pushes his boxer-briefs down. No shame, not that he has anything to be shameful about, but he bares himself physically so easily. Maybe it’s because the rest of him is so shut away.
Colt climbs over me on the bed. I don’t know what emotion to focus on: passion or nerves, but then he’s pulling my panties down my legs.
And he’s rolling the condom on.
When his lips kiss my lower stomach, passion wins out. Then his mouth finds mine.
He’s pushing in and I’m crying out, my nails in his back, my mind shut off.
Yes, my mind is shut off, but my body is definitely on.
Colt starts to move and I move with him. It hurts slightly, but his lips on my mouth and his hand on my breast helps to dull the pain. Both physical ache and the one weighing heavily on my chest that’s been there since I found out about Mom.
Maybe longer.
***
Neither of us says a word as Colt gets up to get rid of the condom.
