Текст книги "Love Surfaced"
Автор книги: Michelle Lynn
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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
Love,
Tanner
The letter floats to the ground, and my head drops into my hands. My throat constricts, and tears build to capacity before shedding down my cheeks. I wish I could go to him and take him back. But what kind of future can I have when, after only a month, he lied to me, deceived me, and made me believe he was someone he wasn’t? Standing up, I walk over to my suitcase. It’s time I move on, time I get on with my life, without Tanner McCain.
ten
Two Years Later
LOCKING MYSELF IN MY CHILDHOOD room, I pile my chestnut hair and pull them into a tight ponytail. The summer humidity of Michigan is stifling, and leaving my hair down is not an option. After a swipe of mascara and a little eyeliner, I look in the mirror, long and hard.
This is the day I’ve been dreading. I have no idea how my body will react to him. It’s been two years since I walked out of his bedroom with a shattered heart. Taking a deep breath, I will those repeated pep talks to take root.
From the day my brother called to tell me he proposed, I’ve feared this day. It was easy to be indifferent to Tanner before our month fling. Should I even refer to it as a fling? Probably not. I doubt my heart would have broken if all he meant to me were a few times rolling around in the sheets.
And that leaves me here, standing in front of my mirror, with perfect makeup, a new dress, and lungs that barely fill with air. The noises float up from the patio outside. Brad’s friends are having fun and razzing each other. Without seeming too interested in Tanner, the only information I have is, he flies in tonight, and he will be staying at his parents’ house. They are thrilled because he hasn’t been home in two years. He’s remained in Colorado this whole time, training for next year’s Olympics. His parents and Brad have gone out to visit him, but I’ve kept my distance. Plus, it’s not as though he’s tried hard to reach me.
Just as I exit my room, the doorbell rings, and I debate on running back to my room.
“Piper, can you get that?” my mom asks, noticing me from her own bedroom while putting an earring in.
I should be blunt and answer no, but she raised me better. “Sure, Mom.”
Descending the stairs, my body slowly limps. By the time I’m on the last step, sweat is forming under my dress, and it’s not the humidity but the fear of who is on the other side of the door.
“Calm. Be calm,” I softly repeat.
The damn yoga class has done nothing to center myself the last few weeks.
My palm covers the doorknob, and I suck in a breath, twisting the metal with my hand. I easily breathe it out and smile when I see a couple reminding me of Tanner standing outside.
“Mr. and Mrs. McCain, how are you?” I open the door further, welcoming Tanner’s parents to our house.
“We’ve talked about this, Piper. You’re old enough to call us Lana and Patrick.”
Mrs. McCain looks as impeccable as ever with her perfect brown bob haircut and cute sundress. She steps over the doorway, opening her arms for a hug, which I happily reciprocate. From her short stature, one would never guess she is Tanner’s mom.
Then, seeing his dad confirms that Tanner is theirs.
Mrs. McCain steps aside, and Mr. McCain smiles warmly at me, his own arms open for a hug.
“It’s nice to see you, Piper.” Once I’m in his arms, he goes to kiss my cheek and whispers, “You’ve been hiding.”
I freeze, assured he knows something. Did Tanner confide in him? What is the meaning behind his words?
Then, he pulls back, his hands firmly grasping my upper arms. “You look as beautiful as ever.” He smiles one last time and releases me.
“Thank you . . . Patrick.” His name seems odd coming from my mouth.
He winks, and my stomach drops as I’m reminded of his son’s signature move for me. Tanner doesn’t shoot it to everyone. It was mostly just for me. It took me a while to figure it out, but when I did, my heart would drum in my chest.
Lana and Patrick wander into the house. After all, it’s like their second home. I give one last glance outside the door before shutting it. The urge to lock the bolt to keep Tanner out comes to mind, but I refrain.
Retreating to the kitchen, I find Lana sitting on a stool with her phone out. Her fingers vigorously move across the screen, and I desperately want to ask, beg her to tell me if it’s him and when he’ll be here. But as usual, when it comes to Tanner, I clam up. I act casual as though just the sound of his name doesn’t make me yearn for him.
How on earth am I going to get through this?
When she notices that I’m walking in, she places her phone down and swivels toward me. “So, Piper, tell me, what’s new?”
Her face lights up, and a knot forms in my throat for the lies I’m about to toss out.
“Not much. Just working.” I shrug, walking farther into the kitchen. I lean over the counter on the other side.
“Oh, yeah? Your mom told me, you got a new job at the community college.” She knots her fingers together on the counter.
She’s smiling, but I know what she really thinks. Mrs. McCain isn’t one to hide her thoughts.
“Even if I think you should have gone out to Colorado with Tanner.”
She raises both her perfectly shaped eyebrows, and I stand up straighter. It’s nice that she believes in my capability as much as her son did.
“You have to be invited, and I wasn’t invited.”
My swimming dreams ended after college, which wasn’t exactly horrible in my point of view. After what happened with Tanner, it just wasn’t the same when my body dipped into the water. Especially right after, I could barely concentrate on my form, constantly thinking about what we’d done and the games we’d played in that pool. Then, I would think about what he’d done, and I’d be surprised that I could keep the tears inside until I was in the shower. I’d barely gotten through many practices, only to let my shattered tears out in the shower right after. My teammates didn’t ask, but I knew a few of them suspected what had happened—except they assumed the wrong reason for what exactly broke us up.
Opening the freezer, I grab a bottle of vodka. I worry we’ve deceived the family. No one really knows what happened our senior year. We were able to keep it quiet. Coach was able to pull strings, so it never got out.
“Just think, you both could be on your way to the Olympics, just like Tanner,” she continues.
I want to blurt out the truth. What an ass her son was for the things he’s done. Part of me chastises Brad for remaining friends with him. I mean, I understand friendship, but there’s a limit.
“I can’t speak for Brad, but I wasn’t good enough. In the end, it would have been finished before it ever started for me. I needed to get my master’s and find another path in life.” I pull a glass down for myself and then silently offer Lana one, who nods.
While I pour the vodka, I hope the distraction of alcohol ends the discussion of my choices in life.
“What about me?” My mom walks in.
With the bottle tipped in one hand, I reach for another glass with my other.
“Thanks, Piper.” She kisses me on the cheek, and her usual flowery perfume wafts under my nostrils. Opening the fridge, she continues talking, “What did I miss?”
Retreating with two trays of food, she bumps the fridge door with her hip and walks over to us.
“Just talking about Piper’s new job,” Lana answers.
My mom’s head twists toward me, smiling. “It’s a great thing, right, honey?” My mom seems to be questioning me because she senses too much. She always has.
I’m fairly certain that she has some sort of an idea that something happened with Tanner, even though I never opened my mouth. Mother’s intuition, I suppose.
I nod as the liquid burns my throat—and hopefully my heart. I’ll need it numb in order to survive, when he walks through the door.
Just then, Lana’s phone buzzes, and I see a flash of a text on the screen. Her face immediately lights up before she picks up the phone. She reads the message and then sends one back. She places the phone back on the counter, and I seem to wait for her to say something while my mom busies herself with the deli tray.
“Tanner just landed. He should be here in about forty-five minutes,” she announces.
I’m barely able to handle the information I’ve been craving for. Grabbing the glass of vodka in front of me, I down it in one gulp.
My mom wearily looks at me from the corner of her eyes. “Oh, great. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.” The tone of my mom’s voice doesn’t match her words, confirming she suspects something off in what she thinks about Tanner and me.
“He’s been really busy and unable to make it back. I said that you and Chris should have gone to Colorado with us last winter. We had a lot of fun. Tanner rented a lodge, and we skied most of the days and sat by the fire at night. It was so much fun,” Lana rambles.
My mom peers over to me from the corner of her eye. “Maybe next year,” she mumbles.
I’m sure Lana can figure out my mom’s never-going-to-happen attitude because she lets the topic go.
“I’m going to go outside.” I walk by them, grabbing a tray from my mom on my way out.
Lana places her hand on my wrist, stopping me from my escape. “Piper, I heard about your new guy, too. I’ll be out soon to meet him. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be next in line.”
She winks, and I figure out the winking is a family thing I’ve never noticed before. Unfortunately, Lana’s doesn’t bring the same reaction to me as her son’s.
“Curtis is so great, Lana. You’ll love him,” my mom gushes.
I wish I possessed half the excitement she does about him. Let’s think about this. He’s outside, and I’ve been obsessing about another guy for the past half an hour.
Walking out to the patio, I find Bea and Curtis sitting down with my dad and Tanner’s dad, Patrick. The other table is full of my brother’s imbecile friends with a cluster of glass bottles in the middle of the table. Then, around the benches are his annoying fiancée and her bridesmaids. As I decide on my position, Curtis smiles over to me and pulls out a chair for me. Positioning the tray on the table, I take the seat Curtis offered and display my fakest smile.
He looks good today. His khaki shorts and clingy V-neck T-shirt display his muscular build. What he’s hiding underneath is just for me and no one else. He leans in, and all I smell is his heavy musky cologne. Almost nauseous, I open a bottle of water on the table that Curtis most likely left for me.
I’m a bitch for unfairly judging Curtis because he was a great guy until I heard Tanner was coming to town. I’ve been dating him for two months now, and he’s done nothing wrong. He’s always treating me well, taking me on elaborate dates to fancy restaurants and Tony award-winning theater shows. But when he grabs my hand, there’s no uncontrolled adrenaline rush. When he kisses me, I don’t lose myself in the warmth of his embrace.
The problem is, I don’t trust my heart anymore. I refuse to allow it to have a voice in my head. If I’m going to make the decision to be with someone, it will be with my brain. My heart can no longer be involved. According to my brain, Curtis is the perfect mate for me. On paper, he’s practical. He’s a law student, and he’s on the verge of graduating next year and working at his dad’s prestigious law firm in the city. He can supply me with the safety and security of a future without the risk of my heart.
As I sit here, contemplating and drumming my fingers against the wooden table, I impatiently wait for Tanner to arrive. My back straightens when Curtis startles me by placing his hand on my shoulder.
“Is something the matter?” he whispers, leaning in.
How do I respond to his question? Why, yes, my ex-boyfriend, whom you only heard is my brother’s best friend, will be walking through that door at any minute, and I’m not quite sure how I’ll react when it happens. Not really something your current boyfriend wants to hear, now, is it?
“I’m good. Just the whole wedding thing.” I wave my hand in the air.
“Don’t worry. Your time will come,” he says.
My head rears back. “Oh, I’m not upset because it’s not me,” I hammer back, automatically becoming defensive. The last thing I need is for him to get down on bended knee even though I’m fairly certain the ring would be downright spectacular.
“I wasn’t suggesting—”
“I’m sorry, Curtis. It’s just that this chaos drives me crazy,” I lie. I’m not some anal planner. “She drives me crazy.” I nod to Bayli, Brad’s fiancée. “How does all that makeup even stay on her face?”
Bea overhears me and starts laughing. “How about the hairspray? If Brad ever ran his fingers through it, they’d get stuck.”
Now, we’re both giggling like mean High schoolers. If I assume correctly though, Bayli and her friends were the mean girls. I glance back to the girls inspecting each other’s nails. Shaking my head, I join back into my table’s conversation.
“What are his odds?” my dad asks Mr. McCain.
I slyly pretend I’m not eavesdropping.
“They say he’s already in. Even if another swimmer brings his best, Tanner can beat him. You should hear it. They go on and on about him,” Patrick brags about his eldest son. He deserves to. He worked hard to get Tanner into swimming lessons and camps. Even when Patrick got laid off for a year, he made sure Tanner didn’t miss an opportunity.
There were times I believed Tanner’s family was to blame for what he had done two years ago. He never wanted to disappoint their dream of him becoming an Olympic swimmer.
“Well, making Swimming magazine sure says he’s doing something right,” my dad compliments, showing no sign of jealousy just because his son wielded the same dreams.
Now, Brad sits on the patio with his witch of a fiancée.
“I’m sure proud of him.” My dad says to Patrick.
I glance over and see my dad looking at Brad. His genuine smile speaks volumes. My dad doesn’t care that my brother chose to stop swimming after college. Instead, he went on to grad school, getting his master’s in business.
“All in all, I’d say we did good, Chris.” Patrick tips his beer bottle to my dad, and they clink them together.
“I agree. Four great children.” My dad turns his attention to me and smiles before it falters.
“Four happy children,” Patrick adds.
My dad focuses on me and raises his eyebrows in question.
I stare back, allowing my dad to see the uncertainty lingering underneath my facade. The heartbreak might have been glued together, but it never fully dried. He’s more perceptive than I give him credit for.
Seeing my dad’s pained look makes the air thicken around me.
Unable to stay seated, waiting for my world to turn upside down, I flee. “Excuse me,” I choke out, standing up.
When I’m halfway to the patio door, it opens, and I’m greeted by a set of emerald eyes. My breath increases, and my head spins before I see the body attached to them.
“Piper.” With his words, I’m in his arms, and he’s spinning me around in a circle. “You look good, girl.”
Once my feet are on the wooden planks of my parents’ deck, I push back to observe the grown-up boy he’s become.
“Dylan, you’ve become a man . . . a very tattooed man.” I laugh, admiring his broad shoulders and full sleeves of tattoos running up and down each arm.
Shit, two years of college, and he’s transformed from the lanky body I remember.
Chuckling, he shakes his head at my comment. Staring down to investigate all of his ink, he holds out his arms. “Yeah, well, I figure I’ll never be as perfect as Tanner, so to hell with everyone.”
“Dylan, you’re just as perfect as Tanner,” I argue back.
He smirks and gives me the classic McCain wink.
“Aw, thanks, girl, but don’t lie to me.” He pulls me into his arms one more time and holds me tight.
As I hear the shuffling of chairs of people getting up to greet Tanner’s younger brother, he whispers in my ear, “He’s right behind me, Piper.”
With his words, shivers run up and down my body.
“Thought I should warn you.”
Although I should have known that Dylan knew about us, his confirmation strangles my airway a little more.
“Thanks.” My fingernails tightly grip his shoulders, not wanting him to leave me.
“You have to let me go. Otherwise, people are going to talk about you and the McCain boys.” He laughs.
I can’t help but choke out my own giggles. Pushing back, he nods his head one time in confidence I can do this.
Then, just like that, I’m on the sidelines while the throng of people welcomes Dylan back after a long absence at college. I startle when a hand glides along my lower back, stopping on my hip. I peer over, finding Curtis watching the welcoming home for Dylan. For the first time in two months, his touch feels foreign as though his hand doesn’t fit around me. He’s not meant to be here in this moment. Unable to explain the foreign sense to myself, I stay steady and watch the people give Dylan handshakes and pats on the back while Bayli and her friends admire from the afar. Obviously, they’re waiting for Dylan to approach them, living true to the stereotypes I’ve already casted them with.
After the parting of ways, I find a peculiar situation. Bea is still sitting, fiddling with her phone, while she glances back and forth from Dylan and her phone. When everyone disperses, Dylan ignores Bayli and her friends. Instead, he makes a beeline to Bea.
I laugh to myself from the absurdity of that joke.
He takes a seat next to her, and she smiles, shaking his hand, as she admires the tats. Then, she picks up her phone and ignores him. I wish I could take a picture and show her how timid she’s being with him. It’s not her style. She’s usually more of the take-charge kind of girl. So, her behavior now only means one thing. She likes him.
Appraising my friend’s curiosity for the guy giving her all his attention averts my fears of the next person to walk through the door.
“I’ll be right back,” Curtis softly says in my ear before his fingers leave my body.
I hate to admit what a relief having him gone is. He opens the door, slides through it, and pauses for a second to talk to someone. My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach when Curtis is replaced with the man who broke me.
My body begs to run, to hide, to conceal myself from him, but I’m frozen in place, taking him in. He’s more muscular, and his hair is shorter, the waves almost invisible. The skin my fingers used to trace is now a golden brown. I watch him search the backyard before he’s spotted, and a stupid part of me hopes that he was trying to seek me out in the crowd.
“McCain!” Brad screams, hopping up from his chair.
Tanner’s zeros in on his best friend. “What’s up, man?”
They give each other the one-armed hug before parting. As the others join Brad on welcoming Tanner back, I gulp at his muscles flexing and releasing with each handshake or hug. He looks good—gorgeous, in fact. I hate my body for disobeying the pep talks from earlier this week. He’s only been in front of me for one minute, and it’s already lost the battle.
Bayli and her friends stand. I guess Tanner McCain, swimming god, is good enough to approach. Brad introduces them. Tanner holds out his hand to Bayli, but she steps into his arms, giving him no choice other than to hug her. It’s brief, and it’s the one and only time I’m jealous of Bayli. She’s in the arms of the man who ignites safety within me. Worse is, she’s right where I want to be. Her friends take turns wrapping their arms around his taut waist, and their eyes close at the nearness, almost looking as if they’re inhaling his scent. Is it the same as I remember?
Patrick and my dad’s chairs screech behind me, and I blindly step aside to allow them through. They pass me, and each one hugs Tanner. He smiles, nodding at the compliments he’s most definitely getting. After his dad releases him, Tanner finds me. Every nerve running in my body tingles, and I stare back at him, unable to refrain.
He turns away, dismissing me, talking to the others and nodding a hello. Then, just when the tears beg to build because he can disregard me so easily, he breaks from the pack. Walking directly to me, I can’t stop the smile curling on my lips.
A smirk evident on his face, he confidently strides over to me, stopping a polite space away. “Piper.”
My name rolling off his tongue confirms it. My heart still belongs to him.
