Текст книги "Love Surfaced"

Автор книги: Michelle Lynn

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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

sixteen

I DRIVE TO DOWNTOWN MARLOWE and park. Instead of rushing out, I stay seated in my car. With my keys clasped in my hand on my lap, I focus on the gazebo, wondering if all the lies I said to get here was worth it. Curtis thinks I’m with Bea, and my mom thinks I’m with Curtis. It could explode in my face if one of them figures out I’m with Tanner tonight. I’m taking a giant leap of faith in him, and I can’t for the life of me explain why.

The memories of two years ago haunt me every night along with the thought that I screwed with my future when I ran. Should I forgive him for what he did and allow myself to forget? How can I not be with him for the rest of my life? Am I fooling myself with Curtis?

A loud knock on the window startles me.

Tanner is standing on the other side, dressed in a pressed button-down shirt and gray pants. He opens my door, and I sneak out before allowing him to shut it.

“You look gorgeous, as always,” he compliments me.

I nod. His hand reaches for mine, but I cross my arms.

“Not a date,” I remind him.

He smiles. “Yet.”

“Never.”

“Hey.” He patiently waits for me to face him. “I really want this to be a nice dinner.” His eyes bore into mine, his sadness evident. “Not to mention, I owe you a steak dinner.”

“Carsen’s?” I ask, remembering back to when our first date was cut short because of our parents’ impromptu appearance. “You didn’t have to bring me here.”

I follow him up to the sidewalk, as he gives me some personal space. My vision drift up to his, and I swear, from the look of desire seething in his eyes, I’m back to that spring night our senior year.

“Yeah, I did.” He holds his hand out for me to take.

When our fingers entwine, he squeezes my hand, and it all fits. Somehow, on this sidewalk, I’m right where I’m supposed to be—with Tanner’s hand in mine.

We’re seated at the exact same table from two years ago, facing the window. We laugh thinking back to when we had to sneak out from our parents’ view. Tanner orders us a bottle of wine, which the waiter struggles to open. Awkwardness fills the air.

“So, you want to talk?” I ask him, eager to get the conversation out in the open.

“Do you mind if you get your steak first? You know I don’t want to try to buy you this meal a third time.”

He chuckles, and I smile.

“Sure.” I stare out the window, unnerved from the sense of his eyes on me.

“God, Piper, you’re beautiful,” he mumbles.

Heat flushes my face.

“I’ve missed you.”

My heart melts with his words. I’m happy that I’ve been on his mind on more than one occasion. I remain quiet, so he stops talking. I’m not sure he knows the effect his declaration has on me.

I want to tell him how often he’s crossed my mind. There’s not a night I fall asleep where I don’t wish he were next to me or one morning I don’t remember what his body felt like curled behind mine. The regret of never running after him haunts me. I’ve secretly looked up pictures of him, wondering if he’s crawling into bed with another girl or screwing a girl in the back of some club. Most of all, I’ve wondered what he just declared—if he has thought of me.

The waiter comes over and we order our meals. This time, I don’t shy away from the filet.

After the waiter leaves the table, Tanner begins talking again, “What do you see in Curtis?”

His question is innocent, but at the moment, I have no answer. There’s no judging or jealousy in his tone, which makes it harder to remember what I do see in Curtis.

“He treats me good.”

He does, but it’s just in a different way than Tanner did.

“That’s all I’ve hoped for you. If, after tonight, nothing changes, I’ll be happy because you’re happy.”

I don’t mention that I’m not sure I could live forever with Curtis. Or that I’m almost positive, our relationship will end shortly.

“I know I’ve given him a hard time, but I want to make sure his feelings are genuine.”

“Why would they not be?” I tilt my head to the side.

He shrugs. “I’m not saying they aren’t. Just watch yourself. That’s all.”

“No girls back in Colorado?” I change the subject to him because talking about Curtis while my body’s pulling to Tanner tonight makes me feel guilty.

“I have no time.” He takes a sip of wine and looks out the window.

“Oh.”

“That’s a lie. I have the time to date if I wanted to. The truth is, I’m not over you, and it would be unfair to the next girl if I started something.”

He might as well take the steak knife, stab my chest, and grab my heart because it belongs in his hands after that sentence.

“Tanner,” I sigh for the second time today.

“Tan,” he corrects me. “Please, Piper. I hate when you call me Tanner. You haven’t called me by my full name since grade school.”

“We can’t just go back like nothing happened.”

The waiter places our plates in front of us. The smell of the red meat, baked potatoes, and steamed broccoli leaves my mouth watering. But after all this talk with Tanner, I’m not sure I can stomach one bite.

I cut a small piece of steak and slip it off the fork and into my mouth. It melts, the peppery season flavoring it as I chew.

“Just as you remembered?” Tanner asks.

I haven’t been here since that night with Tanner. Curtis asked me to come here many times, but I wouldn’t allow him to bring me. It holds too many good memories.

“Yeah,” I mumble over my mouthful of food.

“Good.” He smiles, cutting his own bite.

The silence filling our table is one of comfort as we both enjoy our food.

We’re about halfway done with our meals when Tanner surprises me by beginning to talk again, “Before we discuss it, I want to say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that happened, but most of all, I’m sorry that you got hurt.” He places his knife and fork down and grabs the stem of his glass, bringing it up to his lips.

“Okay.” I mimic his motions.

“The other thing I want you to know is, I love your brother. He’s my brother as much as Dylan is. I’d do anything for Brad. As much as I hate to admit it, I failed him that day, too. When I thought I was protecting him, I did the opposite.”

I tilt my head, confused at his admission. “Failed him?” I question.

He nods. “When I left you in my room, Brad told me his urine tested positive for enhancement drugs. He was pissed and upset. I was already out for the year with my back.”

He looks at me long and hard, but I don’t understand where he’s going with the story.

Tanner confessed they were his drugs that Brad had taken by mistake. They told me that Tanner had left a smoothie on the counter, and Brad had drunk it.

“It all seemed to make sense in the kitchen. We thought we figured everything out. A decision made in two minutes was the most brilliant plan. The consequences never came to the surface until it all crumpled in front of us.”

“Tan, I don’t understand. You were putting the drugs in your smoothies, right?”

He shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t, Piper.” His eyes wander to the window, and he quiets a few minutes. My stomach churns from his silence.

“Then, who did it? How did they get in Brad’s system for him to test positive?”

He turns to me and sucks a deep breath.

“No.” I violently shake my head. “That’s not true. You’re lying.”

“I’m sorry, Piper. That’s what I meant earlier when I said I’d protect your brother forever, and that day, I did, ultimately losing you.”

Here we go again. He picked my brother over me. Even with the anger rising in me, I recognize that he gave my brother an undeserved leg up to try to make it to the Olympics.

“Let me get this straight.” I lean forward in my seat. “You took the fall, saying you put enhancement drugs in smoothies and that Brad accidentally drank one that was left on the counter. When, in fact, Brad knowingly took drugs?”

He nods again. “But I should have made Brad confess. I should have made him realize what he was doing to himself. We rushed to the decision, wanting the problem to go away.”

His eyes weep honesty, and I fight back the tears welling up in my own.

“This whole time, I’ve been treating you like shit when you did nothing wrong. Why didn’t you tell me?”

The more I realize how that one act took my life on a path I hadn’t wanted it to go, the madder I become.

“I tried. You wouldn’t talk to me. Your brother wanted it to be kept sealed shut. What was I supposed to do? Say, ‘Hey, let’s tell your sister, so she won’t break up with me.’ If anything, I feared pissing you off more by telling him about us.”

My body sinks into the leather chair, and now, I’m the one staring out the window.

“Coach said he could keep it wrapped up. The training center in Colorado tested me, and I was clean, so they had no problem with me starting. I begged you to talk to me, Piper, but you refused. Eventually, I had no choice but to leave for Colorado.”

I still remain quiet, processing the fact that my brother was the cheater and Tanner was everything I’d thought he was—add in loyal friend to the mix.

His voice changes from matter-of-fact to determined. “I thought if I didn’t have you, I’d at least have swimming, and I was given a cutoff date for when I had to be there to train. After lying, I could barely face you. It’s taken me two years to get here.” He pins me with his eyes. “I’m done playing games now and I want you back.”

“Hold on.” I place my hand in the air. “I need to process all of this.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe this. All this time, Brad has said nothing to me.”

“He probably thought it didn’t matter. What was it to him if you hated me?” Tanner picks up his knife and fork, cutting another sliver of his steak. He brings it up to his mouth, but then he puts the uneaten piece back down.

“It did. He ruined my life. His constant need to win and beat you ruined me.” My voice escalates and I dig my finger into my chest.

Tanner places his napkin on the table. “Maybe we should leave.”

I wipe my mouth with my napkin and tuck it to the side of my plate. “No, I want you to finish,” he argues.

He leans back in his chair and he glances from my steak to me.

“I’ve had enough.” I reach across the table for his hand. This is the first time I’ve initiated any physical contact between us. “I want to leave, but thank you for bringing me here.”

He studies me for a second and then nods his head before catching the waiter’s attention.

Tanner slips the confused waiter his credit card, and we wait patiently before continuing our conversation.

I have so many questions filling my brain, and I’m trying to process and categorize it all into compartments—for Tanner, Brad, and lastly, myself.

I watch Tanner sitting across the table. His jaw is more defined now. Light stubble covering his chin and cheeks shows how he’s turned into a man these past couple of years. He’s melancholy, quiet, and reserved, momentarily turning off the cocky jokester I love.

I silently observe him thank the waiter, scribble the tip, total, and his signature on the receipt.

“You ready?” He slides his chair out from the table. Standing up, he holds his hand out to me.

I don’t reflexively grab it. I think about it before accepting it. When his fingers wrap around mine, it’s not foreign and weird. It’s peaceful and serene.

The sun is starting to set by the time we walk hand in hand down the sidewalk. Instead of returning to our cars, Tanner leads me toward the gazebo. It’s clear of any kids, which is odd for a warm summer night in Marlowe.

“Want to sit on a bench or in the gazebo?” he asks.

I look around at the few people with dogs fetching balls or couples walking around. “The gazebo.”

He smiles and guides us up the white wooden stairs. Signaling me to sit on the round bench, I am surprised when Tanner leaves space in between us as he sits.

“I have a question,” I meekly announce.

He swivels, so his legs are turned toward me. “Whatever you need to ask, do.” He tips his head my way before staring at the floor of the gazebo.

“If I had given you the opportunity to tell me the truth senior year, would you have?”

He runs his hand down his face, turning his head toward me. I get my answer before he speaks.

“I’m not sure. Honestly, probably not. I was hoping you’d forgive me, and we’d move on.”

“That’s what I thought.” I’m disappointed that Tanner would have continued to put my brother in front of us. “Why now?”

“I never thought you’d stay this mad. Never did I think that you wouldn’t forgive me.”

I appreciate his truthfulness.

“How can you not be mad? How could you take the fall for Brad? As an athlete, weren’t you completely pissed off at him? With how hard you trained and the hours you put in—you did that all, and Brad took drugs in order to have an advantage. So, that’s why I couldn’t forgive you, Tanner.” I point my finger at him, my voice rising. “You failed me when I thought you did drugs. You betrayed me as an athlete when you told me. I didn’t want to be with someone who used shortcuts to get ahead,” I plead my case, the anger surfacing fast.

He glances over to me, hard and stern. “God, I love your passion.”

He smiles, but I don’t. He scoots closer to me, but I slide an inch away, only for him to break the barrier again.

“I was pissed, Piper, but I saw my best friend’s desperation, the despair in his eyes, because he stripped away his future with one dumb move. With my back, I was out for the season. I thought for sure that I’d get a slap on the wrist, and I was right. Coach hid it because it was me. If it were Brad, Coach would have nailed him to the wall. As much as I hate what it did to us, I stand by my decision in that moment. It turned out the best way it could for all of us.”

His hand reaches for mine, but I yank it back.

“No, it didn’t turn out the best for all of us, Tanner. It crushed me. I lost all belief in guys. You . . .” I turn my head and watch a young couple, maybe in high school, sneaking kisses on a bench under a tree. They’re so trusting of their newfound love, and I’m envious of them.

“What?” he whispers.

I flip around to look right at him, so he sees the tears filling my eyes. “You broke my heart that day.”

“Piper,” he sighs, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

My throat constricts, my nose tingles, and water builds in my eyes. As I bury my head into his chest, the tears trickle down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

His simple words won’t fix the shattering his secret caused.

“If it helps, I broke my own heart that same day. You want to know why I haven’t been in a relationship since us?”

He nudges me off his chest, taking my head in his hands, and I look up at him.

“Because no one is you. I tried after a while, but I compared each and every one of them to you.” Mesmerized by the love pouring out of him, I wish he’d bend down and kiss me.

“Your words help me feel better.” My lips turn a little at the corners. “But I have Curtis now.” I look away.

His eyes fall, and he takes a deep breath. “I know. Your brother said nothing about him to me. Can I blame him though? He didn’t know about us. It threw me when I found out you were with someone else. A part of me hoped you were the same as me, that maybe you couldn’t move on either.”

He clasps his hands, resting his forearms on his legs, as he watches the same couple I was just looking at. The girl is now giggling at something the guy said, and his eyes light up a flicker more with every escape of laughter from her lips.

“I possessed an enormous amount of anger. In one flash, you went from my hero to a disgusting piece of crap. It was hard to wrap my head around it. The longer time went on, with you never coming home, the more my mind assumed things.” This time, I lightly place my hand on his leg.

He doesn’t miss a beat before his hand is covering mine, pressing down on his thigh.

“I want another shot, Piper. There’s no way you love Curtis.” His voice is low but still alludes to his confidence.

“Why do you say that?” I ask, allowing his fingers to thread through mine.

“I see it, for one. Your body doesn’t respond to him like it does with me. Take right now as an example. You’ve gone from yanking your hand away from me to it resting on my thigh with my hand holding it there. I’ve watched you and Curtis over the past few days. It’s different.” He turns his head, so he can judge my reaction to his words. “Am I wrong?”

His eyebrows rise, and I can’t fight him on his observation. He’s right. If he’s a mile away from me, somehow, my body knows, and he draws me to him like a damn magnet.

“It’s a different time. We were young and hiding our relationship two years ago. I’m not the same, and it’s just different.”

He tightens my hand in his, and a line of shivers shoot up my back.

“I don’t think so, but I’m not going to push you.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you come to me, it has to be on your terms, without me convincing you. Otherwise, I’ll always question why you came back. So, leave here tonight, Piper.” His hand grazes up my arm at a painfully slow pace.

Once his palm cups my cheek, my head falls into his grip.

“Think about it, and decide what you want. But know this. I’ll be right next door, lying in my bed while I’m thinking about you, wanting you, loving you.”

My body sinks into the wooden bench, but his fingers press to keep me up. I straighten out, and his hand moves down, his thumb grazing against my lips.

“I’ll imagine kissing these lips”—his fingers travel down my neck—“this neck.” Just when the nerves are on high alert to his next touch, his hand drops. “I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.”

Grabbing my hand, he rises to his feet. He silently escorts me to my car. I follow, trying to remember that I have a boyfriend. With each step, I fight the urge to jump into Tanner’s arms and beg him to take me home.

Once we’re outside my car, he presses me against the door. His fingers thread through my hair with his thumb rubbing up and down my cheek. He bends down, and I think this is it. I’ll at least kiss him. My body tenses, and his lips run along the side of my face as his hand grips my neck.

“Just think about it,” he whispers. He kisses my forehead before he backs up.

I stand there, numb and full of want and desire for the man retreating to his car. He never turns around to give me one glance back. I wait for him to start his car, back out of the spot, and drive away.

Fumbling for my keys after he leaves, I quickly get into my car and sit there, absorbing everything that unfolded.

How do I just trust him again? He lied to me. Even though it was for my brother’s sake, it was a deceit, and I’m not sure I can forget it.

Then, an enormous rage at my brother rises through my veins. Damn him. It’s about time he fesses up.

seventeen

I PULL INTO MY PARENT’S driveway, noticing Tanner’s car isn’t in his driveway next door. Then, I see the car I want to see—Brad’s black FJ Cruiser parked under the basketball hoop. Parking alongside of him, I fly out of my car, stomping through the garage into the house.

“Brad!” I yell.

My mom turns the corner. “Piper? What’s the matter?”

She’s concerned, but I breeze right by her.

“I need to find Brad.”

My mom grabs my arm as I pass her, stopping me.

“You need to calm down. Bayli’s parents are here,” she whispers.

Did I have tunnel vision and not notice their Mercedes? Shaking my head, I stand still next to my mom, and she drops her hand.

“It’s between us.” I can’t disrespect my mom or make a scene in front of Bayli’s parents.

As though he knows, Brad appears through the archway. “What?”

The three of us stand there, in the small hallway outside the laundry room.

“You!” I point at him.

Mom’s hands press down in the air. “Lower your voice,” she demands.

Brad’s eyes widen. “Where were you just now?” he asks.

I raise my eyebrows.

“Shit.” He shakes his head. “Just wait, Pipe. Bayli’s parents are leaving soon, and then we’ll talk, okay?” He steps up, and he places his hands on my shoulders.

My rage dissipates slightly from his touch.

“Five minutes, Brad,” I relent.

He nods. “Five minutes,” he repeats.

Mom’s head flips from him to me, unclear as to what’s going on. Thankfully, she’s used to our twin antics, but she won’t let this go for long. She’ll ask me what this is all about when the time is right.

“Piper, go in there and say hello to the Tweedles.” She lightly taps my back, urging me to do as she said.

Brad steps back, and I narrow my eyes as I walk into the family room. Once I enter the room, Bayli’s obnoxious laugh mixes with her dad’s booming voice, and I cringe.

“Piper, dear.” Her mom stands. She’s an older version of Bayli—attractive, dressed to the nines with every piece of jewelry on. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into her, practically giving me whiplash.

“Hi,” I say, my face buried in her tweed jacket.

Mrs. Tweedle is wearing tweed. It’s like a Dr. Seuss book. The thought makes a laugh escape out of my mouth.

She pulls back, her hands still on my upper arms. “We didn’t know you were dating Curtis Zeker.” Her face gleams. “He’s quite the catch. The talk around the club is, you’ve snatched him up. He’s practically crossed off the list.” She smiles widely.

I want to say, don’t use permanent marker.

“He’s a very nice young man,” my mom chimes in.

I hate how much she loves Curtis.

“He is, and his parents are absolutely lovable. I went to school with his father.”

She continues talking, but I tune her out, silently throwing daggers at Brad, who’s now trying to cuddle up to Bayli to divert me

“Mrs. Zeker told me that just last night,” I add in, not sure why. Maybe I think I’ll piss Brad off if I’m friendly to his soon-to-be in-laws, who he hates. It’s a small payback for what he did to me.

“All the girls were devastated when his mom told everyone about Piper Ashby. Right, Bayli?” She looks at Bayli.

Bayli rolls her eyes and then looks me up and down. “Yeah,” Bayli says offhand.

“Yes,” Mrs. Tweedle corrects her daughter.

Bayli’s eyes roll back further.

“It was nice seeing you both. I have to make a phone call.” I begin to back up.

Then, Mr. Tweedle stands. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Piper.” He nods his head in my direction. “Zoe dear, we need to get going.” He begins following me out of the family room.

“Bayli, honey?” her mom calls out.

Bayli kisses Brad on the cheek.

“Oh, young love. There’s nothing better,” Mrs. Tweedle remarks.

Bile rumbles up my throat. How do either set of parents not see how unhappy they are?

I wait for them to linger in the foyer to say their goodbyes, and I sneak out to the patio. I’m happy to find a bottle of wine, still half full, on the table. Snatching it in my hand, I swing it off the table and walk over to the pool deck.

Without bothering with a glass, I bring the bottle to my lips and down a swig while taking a seat on the cement. As I admire the still water from the pool, the lights glow, illuminating the water. It’s enticing, and I want to jump in and submerge myself just to block out the noise in my head.

Everything I’ve believed for two years was dead wrong. Tanner’s the good guy. In all of this, he was a protective friend. I stand up, unable to remain seated, as the rage begins to boil in my veins again.

Why did I move on with Curtis? Two years ago, I should have allowed Tanner to talk to me, to explain himself. Then again, as he admitted tonight, he’s not sure he would have told me the truth.

I’m on the opposite side of the pool, pacing back and forth, when Brad walks out to the patio. My parents linger by the window, peering out, curious as to what’s going on with their children. But they don’t come out, giving us our space.

“Piper,” Brad says, steps over to me. He’s judging my level of anger right now.

By initiating the conversation, he is giving me the opportunity to guide if this will be a full-on physical fight, a heated argument, or a civil conversation.

He should have his fighting gloves on because I’m fuming.

“Brad,” I seethe through my teeth.

“Tanner talked to you?” he asks, taking a seat on the edge of a lawn chair.

“Yeah, he talked to me.” I tilt my head to the side. “You should have—two years ago.” I tip the bottle back, downing more.

“I was different then.”

This is his lame excuse for ruining my life?

“You were obviously a drug addict and loser for trying to get ahead without the sweat and hard work,” I spout.

He places his head in his hands. “I made a lot of mistakes back then. All I saw was the Olympics as my top priority. Tanner had already been accepted, and there was a miniscule amount of time for them to notice me. I panicked—”

I place my hand up in the air to stop his selfish excuses. “Save your pity act. I don’t want to hear it.” My feet shuffle along the cement, as I pace from frustration. I need to feel the cool water cocoon me. Plunging into the water, drowning myself in the silence, is so alluring at the moment.

“I’m sorry, Piper. I know you see me as a failure.”

“Damn right I do, Brad. Even if you take away the detail that what you did was not fair, you allowed Tanner to take the fall for your stupidity. You could have ruined his career. You were okay with that?” I stop right in front of him, getting my face into his.

“I told him not to do it. I said that I’d come clean, but he was convinced we’d get away with the lie, that I’d be able to swim and hopefully be asked to train with him in Colorado. He lied, and he was right. Coach slapped him on the wrist and hid the whole thing.”

“Are you even listening to yourself? He protected you because he was your best friend. And what did you do? You were going to let him take the fall and ruin him.” I step back, closing my eyes, because my voice keeps escalating, and I fear my parents will come out. If my fingernails dig into my palm one more time, I’m going to draw blood. “When are you ever going to stop thinking of yourself?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Piper. Why are you so invested in Tanner’s career? Why the hell do you care what we agreed on?” He stands up and walks until he’s right in my face.

For every inch he comes closer, I back up.

“What happened is between us. He’s my best friend. If you must know, I’ve apologized a million times. Told him we were lucky that nothing more happened, and I thanked him for what he did for me.” He digs his finger into his own chest, emphasizing himself. “He’s never once made me feel guilty for it. He’s taken my apology to heart, and he knows I hate that he put his career at risk. Tanner knows how sorry I am for it. So, the question remains, Piper. Why the hell do you care so much?”

Because your one act took me to a fork in the road, and I made the wrong choice.

“You can cut the crap about the integrity of sports and competition,” Brad adds. His arms cross his chest, his legs widen.

Releasing a breath, I mimic his form and glare him down. “It just pisses me off. That’s it.”

I go to walk by him, but he grabs my upper arm, swinging me back around.

“Ultimately, you know that you’ll have to choose between Curtis and Tanner. He told you the truth because he wants you.”

My shoulders deflate. “I’m going to put you in the middle of us, if it doesn’t work out.” I focus down on the ground.

I’m fairly certain Brad would allow me to date Tanner now because he owes Tanner one.

“Hell, I’m already in the middle of it.” He sits down, his eyes veering from me to the chair beside him.

When I reluctantly sit down in the chair, he grabs the bottle, taking a swig for himself. “Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be awkward when the two of you are together. Might as well see what comes of it. Talk to me, Pipe.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to hear me out?” I ask, raising my eyebrow.

He nods and takes a hefty breath. “Shoot, before I change my mind.”

“Okay, well—”

He holds his hand up. “One more thing. No sex talk. Actually, no physical contact.” His head violently shakes as the thought revolts him.

“Okay. I ran away from him two years ago when it all went down. I was mad about the drug confession because that meant, as an athlete, he took shortcuts. But it was more than that. I saw the drugs as proof that he’d fail me in the future, that he would never be happy being anything but first.”

“Why should he be?” Brad interrupts.

I contemplate his question. “As long as I’ve known Tanner, he’s worked his ass off to get to where he is. He’s trained ungodly hours and kept his diet in check, for the most part. Swimming has been his life. When he told me the smoothie you took was mixed with his drugs, I shut down any future possibility for us. For some reason, I saw us living a life of lies, and I didn’t want that. He came after me more than once to explain, but I just assumed he would only have lies. I knew if I were in the same room with him, my body would weaken, and I’d cave, only to live a life of disappointment.”

“Man, the woman’s mind.” He chuckles.

I nod. “Then, I find out that you actually did drugs. And you’d better be off of them and never do anything that idiotic again. Got it?” I toss him a stern look.

He holds his hands up. “Promise.”

“Good. To be honest, Brad, I’ve never stopped loving him. As much as I tell myself I’m not, I constantly compare poor Curtis to Tanner.”

“Curtis is a douche, Piper. I’m not sure what you saw in him to begin with. He’s the polar opposite of Tanner.”

“Have you ever felt that you weren’t good enough for someone?” I ask, staring up at the dark sky with a few stars peeking out.

“Yeah,” he says, tipping his own head back. “You feel you aren’t good enough for Curtis? If it’s the money thing, you gotta let that go.”

“No, I’m the wrong fit for Tanner. I’m not adventurous or risk-taking. He’s so free and fun-loving. I drag him down.” I cross my ankles, taking the bottle out of Brad’s grip.

“See, as an outsider, I find another scenario. You are free, Piper—with your love and belief in someone. I can only imagine what Tanner must feel for you.” He laughs. “As much as he protected me two years ago, when he returned here, he picked you over me.”

“I’m not sure I understand, Brad.” I’m confused as to how Tanner picked me over Brad.

“That first night, when we played volleyball in the pool, after everyone left, Tanner and I stayed outside and talked. He flat out told me, he was here for two reasons, and the second was my wedding.”

“The first?” My heart soars, hopeful Tanner confessed what I think he did.