Текст книги "Love Surfaced"

Автор книги: Michelle Lynn

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

eight

WHY AM I NERVOUS?

I shake my arms at my sides and bounce up and down on the concrete floor. Blowing a long deep breath out, I divert my gaze anywhere but the stands. Tanner has seen me swim for years, but this time, he’s a boyfriend watching his girlfriend. With him being out for the season, from screwing up his back by speeding home, he doesn’t have much to do these days. Even though it’s a compliment that he was rushing back to me, I wish he had taken his time.

With his abundance of free time¸ I’m his new favorite thing to do. He comes to my swim meets when the men’s team doesn’t have a race. He escorts me to class and sometimes waits for me after. Obviously, there are reasons for us being together outside of my apartment. It allows us to sneak around. In public, our hands stay tucked in our pockets, and we constantly make sure to coincidentally bump into each other. These past few weeks, I’ve barely slept from the amount of caffeine I jolt my system with to keep up my stamina for him.

“You ready?”

Bea comes up next to me, and I nod.

“Aw . . . relax. It’s just the hottest guy in Michigan staring at your ass.”

I quickly twist around, resulting in me facing the stands.

“Didn’t you realize you were offering him a great view of your ass?” Her laugh echoes through the entire pool house.

“No!” I screech. “I need to calm down. Why are my nerves so frazzled?”

“Because of what I just mentioned—the hot guy up in the stands who’s fixated on you.”

She bends down, touching her toes, as I take my arms straight out, crossing and uncrossing them in front of me.

“It might actually calm you if you look.”

I take her advice and wish I hadn’t because Tanner is currently talking to a group of three girls, and I have no idea who they are. I’m assuming they’re from the opposing school.

“Bad advice,” I mumble.

Bea’s head shoots up to the stands. “Oh, please. Are you jealous of a couple of girls? You’re not one of those types.”

She sits down on the cement floor, and I follow suit. Taking each other’s hands, we teeter back and forth, warming up our backs.

“It’s hard, ya know? I hate this insecurity when it comes to him. It’s a part of myself I never thought existed until now.”

I’m truthful with her because the fear of him cheating on me keeps me up at night. Staring at him while he’s lying next to me, I’ve fretted that we’re one party away from him finding someone who piques his interest more.

“Piper, you’ve always been more than secure in yourself. What gives?”

I wait for a teammate to pass by before beginning to talk, “Sara.”

With one word, Bea gets it. She knows exactly why I’m a mess.

“You have to overcome your insecurities, Piper. Just because Sara thought she couldn’t compare doesn’t mean he has an unrealistic vision of you. Does Tanner look at you like the rainbow sprouts from your ass?”

I cringe.

“Yes, but so what? He knows what lies beneath his quest.”

What she’s saying sounds logical, but for me, it’s too foreign.

She stops the teeter, holding us in a spot where she can make sure I see how serious she is. “I’m telling you this straight, Piper. You’ll lose him if you don’t let this issue go.”

Bea is rarely ever serious, so this is one of those aha moments, and I need to pay attention to her.

Looking back at Tanner, all I see is his smile, and the girls flocked around him are now gone. His lips are spread so wide in excitement, showing off his perfect white teeth. Then, as though he senses how much I need the reminder, he shoots me his classic wink.

“You’re right. I’m being stupid,” I relent.

Bea unhooks her hands from me before standing up. “About time you figured it out.”

She leaves me, going to her bag to dig out her swim cap. When she returns, I’m bent over, touching my toes.

“Now, go out there, and swim your ass off, so your drop-dead gorgeous man has no choice but to pour champagne over your body and lick it off tonight.” She laughs, wandering to lane eight.

Coach walks the line, directing all of us to be ready for positions, so I go to my bag and grab my goggles. As my hand reaches in, my phone flips, and I catch the screen light up.

Tanner: You got this, babe. Steady and stealthy through the last lap. Then, imagine I’m waiting for you at the other end of the pool. ;)

Me: What’s my prize if I win? You?

Tanner: You already have me. :) Win and find out!

Happy, I place the phone back in my bag. I’ll be cooling down my cheeks from the blush Tanner ignited. When I give one last look up in the stands, the exact opposite happens to me. Tanner’s encouraging eyes calm my nerves. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself for the sound of the starter pistol.

A bang rings in my ears, and I dive into the water.

Stroke, stroke, breathe.

Stroke, stroke, breathe.

My rhythm immediately kicks in, and weightlessness starts to flurry in my chest about my chances of winning first place. Visions of Tanner play in my head, and soon, I’m no longer fixating on my swimming strokes. All of Bea’s advice before the race mingles in my thoughts. How right she is. If I want this to work, I need to trust him until he takes my trust away, and hopefully, he never will. But I’m not giving him my complete self if I continue to doubt him.

When my fingers touch the black plus sign, I emerge from the water with cheers erupting. I look up at Tanner in the bleachers. He’s standing up, clapping his hands and then raising his hand in the air to cheer. In this moment, I vow to myself to give Tanner all of me tonight—heart, body, and mind.

I TOSS MY KEYS ON the kitchen table and drop my bag to the floor. Before I can reach the fridge, Tanner’s arms are wrapped around my waist, and his head is nuzzled in my neck. Holding his head exactly where I want it, I revel in the butterfly kisses he’s casting across my shoulder. The fridge door slips from my hands, and I sink back into his hard body while his lips tenderly nip at my skin.

Tanner backs us up. His hand grips my hip, and he spins me around into his arms. “Congratulations.” He slides my hair off my shoulder and pierces me with desired eyes.

“You said that already.” My hands circle around his waist. I raise his thin T-shirt to splay my hands on his back.

“I’m proud of you.” His head dips to the hollow of my neck as his fingers move lazily down my spine, raising goose bumps in their wake. “Watching you anytime makes my body want you, but watching you swim drives me crazy with want every damn time.”

I smile against his shoulder from the compliment of what seeing me swim entices in him. “I could say that exact same sentence.”

He cups my face with his palms. “Let’s stop talking then.”

“Okay.” I lick my lip, sensing this will be a different type of coming together than usual.

When his lips brush along mine, they’re gentle and sensual and loving.

His hand glides down my rib cage until he grips my hand in his. He leads me to the bedroom, and I follow through the doorway before he shuts the door.

“I want to take off your clothes painfully slow, reveling in every inch of your skin.” He sits down on my mattress, positioning me in front of him.

It’s intimate and intimidating mixed together.

His fingers leave shivers on my skin as they roam up my ribs, pushing my shirt up. Casting short kisses up my stomach, he rises to his feet, and in one fluid motion, he discards my shirt up and over my head. The thin fabric hits the floor at the same time his hands slide behind my back, expertly undoing my bra hook. Once it’s unhooked, his fingers guide the straps down my arms while I stand as still as a mannequin. My heart pounds so hard that it might pop out of my chest.

Swiping my nipple with his tongue, he sucks my breast into his hot mouth. My hands grip the bottom of his shirt, raising it up his body. Without breaking from my skin, he grabs his shirt from the collar, and my nipple pops out of his mouth when he finishes pulling it off and tossing it across the room. He goes right back to circling my nipple with his tongue, and my head tips back as I close my eyes at the arousal pooling in my core.

“God, Piper. I love your body,” he murmurs against my skin. He switches to my other breast while his fingers undo my jeans. “I’ll never get my fill of you.”

His sweet but seductive words only make the waiting for him to be inside of me unbearable.

Pushing my jeans down, his touch is so ginger and caring. Tingles erupt across my whole body. Stepping one foot out of my jeans at a time, I stand in front of him in a pair of purple satin panties, and my hands clench to stop the urge to shield myself. When I catch his craving eyes roaming up and down my body, my skin sears. He inches forward, his tongue swiping along the seam of my panties, and my breath catches in my throat. Right as I’m about to release the constricted breath, I suck in deeper when his hands roam up my thighs. My eyelids droop as his thumbs slide under the satin of my panties on either side, and he hooks them down the fabric, dragging my panties down my legs.

“Stand up.” I say, taking a step back to give him space.

“Let’s trade.”

Inching off the bed, his hands move up my legs until he grabs a hold of my ass.

I screech when he picks me up, spins me around, and positions me on the bed. His jeans bulge in front of me, and this time, I can’t control my hands. My fingers manipulate the button, and his stomach sinks in from his deep intake of breath. Carefully, I lower the zipper and push his jeans down his muscular legs, leaving him in his black boxer briefs. I lean back on my elbows, admiring his body. The ripples, the bulges, the smooth lines from his shoulders down to his feet have me salivating at this creature in front of me.

“You didn’t finish the job,” he kids.

A small smile crosses my lips, and I sit up straighter, leaning toward him again to relieve the last piece of fabric between us. But he beats me to it and places his thumbs into each side of his briefs before shoving them down his legs. Our eyes feast on each other’s bodies, and again, I’m struck by how much I love this man.

I crawl backward up the bed, and Tanner follows me each inch of the way. After I sink into the mattress, he lowers himself on top of me, his face nuzzling in my neck and his hands threading through my hair. He’s not demanding or rough. Rather, he’s worshipping and sensual. My legs part to grant him access, and his hardness presses at my opening. Unable to hold off, I clench and grind against him, my back arching, as his lips feather kisses along my skin. Once his mouth is on top of mine, he slides into me, and I raise my hips off the mattress.

“Jesus,” he murmurs.

I close my eyes, circling my hips. He pushes into me again, and my heels dig into the mattress. My impatience to move faster grows with every thrust. Our bodies slide along while our mouths devour one another in a slow melody of kisses. When his hands finger through my hair and he gazes down at me with passion and desire, I soar higher. The buildup from the ecstasy rises, and I’m seconds away from reaching my orgasm, the faster he thrusts into me. Tanner finishes me off by rapidly pumping into me over and over again.

“Tan,” I sigh.

His hands reach down, grabbing my ass to reach the limits of my depth. My nerves flutter feverishly like a million little butterflies struggling to release from a jar, until I’m free.

“God, Piper. I love you,” he says softly as he stills inside me.

We lie on the bed, my body snuggling next to his hard one. I take shallow breaths as his fingers graze up and down my bare spine.

“Thank you, Piper,” he whispers.

I pick up my head, my chin resting on his chest. “It wasn’t our first time.”

“It kind of was.” He stares down at me with lovingly soft eyes. “You finally gave me all of you. All the other times, you were holding something back.”

With a small smile on my face, my heart warms with how well this man knows me. “I was but not anymore. Just please—”

His finger moves up, stopping in front of my lips. “You don’t have to worry about anything. I’ve waited a long time for you, Piper, and I’m not about to ruin it.”

He confirms that I am different from the other girls. The fact that he’s waited for me as long as I have for him elates me to the umpteenth degree. On cloud nine with his confession, I lay my head back down on his rising and falling chest. Committing his heartbeat to memory, I wrap my arms a little tighter around his waist.

“I love you, Piper, and that’s not going to just disappear,” he continues.

I’m not sure my heart can handle any more of his confessions.

“I love you, too, Tanner,” I whisper.

“You have all of me.” The permission I’m giving him to grab a hold of every thing I possess—my body, my mind, and most importantly, my heart—doesn’t seem as scary when I lie in his arms.

Isn’t that the problem? Tanner has been a safety net for me for most of my life. He’s kept me grounded with my swimming and worked with me when I needed his encouragement. Most of all, with his presence alone, I never worry about anything, except for one thing—the amount of want that gushes from my pores. I can’t lose that if a love relationship goes south.

nine

I RUSH UP THE FLIGHT of stairs and bend over to catch my breath while my trembling finger blindly searches for the doorbell. Not finding it, there’s no choice but to lift my head while still heaving from my sprint. After I press the black button, my feet tap back and forth, impatiently waiting for the sound of his footsteps on the other side of the door.

Why didn’t I just use my key? Because this time is different.

This isn’t Brad’s sister coming to study, cook dinner, or chat about last night’s episode of Breaking Bad. Nope, this is Piper Ashby secretly escaping to Tanner McCain’s apartment for an afternoon quickie before her brother¸ Brad Ashby, returns from swim practice.

My teeth nail my bottom lip down as my head flickers from right to left, praying like hell my brother doesn’t round the corner from the stairwell or elevator. We should have done this impromptu meeting at my apartment, but my roommate, Wendi, is the head of the gossip ring at Michigan University. It’s hard to believe that the better alternative is to have sex with my brother’s best friend ten feet from his bedroom.

I’ve known Tanner my whole life, and I’ve probably loved him the same amount of time. Although, I didn’t admit it to myself until middle school when the bottle stopped spinning on Gretchen Hinkle, and I witnessed those soft lips I’d craved cover her disgusting overly pink glossed ones. My heart was crushed when I saw her snake her tongue into his mouth, but even worse was witnessing him welcome it with his hot and horny pubescent one. When Parker Nichols’s turn came up and his spin landed on me for the second time, I tried to make Tanner jealous. Unfortunately, when I attempted to jolt a full-blown make-out session, Parker wasn’t interested. Always being known to be the prudent and shiest guy in Kendall Middle School, Parker didn’t welcome my slutty advances. When I turned around to go back to my spot in the circle, I hid the smile pulling at the corners of my lips. Tanner’s unwavering emerald eyes were glued on mine, and his chest heaved with every breath. That was when I knew, I wasn’t just his best friend’s twin sister anymore.

Finally, what seems like a lifetime later, I’m pulled from my thoughts when Tanner opens the door. I reflexively lick my lips, admiring his bare chest and faded jeans hanging off his hips. Those appraising eyes peer down at me with an insidious grin splashed across his face.

“What are you waiting for? For someone to see you?” He laughs.

As his hand passes the threshold of the door, my nerves zing from only the anticipation of his touch. Those tingles quickly morph into shocks when his fingers entwine with mine, and he forcefully yanks my body into his.

My palms land on his chiseled chest, and my face gingerly looks up to him as he holds me in his arms. My safety and happiness shouldn’t be wrapped up in Tanner McCain, the sweet next-door neighbor who’s turned bad boy over the years. Ever since we started college, a live-on-the-edge and deal-with-consequences-later persona burst from his seams until it was all he encompassed—a guy who drove fast, drank hard, and bore a confident swagger, making every girl want to throw their panties at him.

“What on earth is up with you?” He backs us up into the small two-bedroom apartment he shares with my brother.

Every nerve becomes aware of his presence once the click of the door signals it has shut behind us. Excitement and anxiety fills every void in me because, for the next hour, all of his attention is directed on me—at least until my brother returns. Then, we’ll be forced to revert back to the roles we’ve fulfilled since grade school—the one where we act similar to brother and sister rather than two horny teenagers ready to pounce on the other at every turn.

“Let’s go to your room.” I inch up on my toes and nip at his bottom lip.

The palms of his hands slide to my ass, and his trained muscles lift me up with ease. I wrap my legs around his stomach and then gasp.

“Shit, Tanner. I forgot. Your back.”

I unlock my ankles, but he holds me firm.

“It’s been two weeks. I’m good. Maybe not for a hundred-meter butterfly but enough to get you to the finish line.”

He chuckles his usual deep throat laugh, and I smile against his lips.

“Will you be back—”

“Piper, the last thing I want to talk about right now is swimming,” he cuts me off just like he has during the last two weeks.

“Then, let’s not waste any more time. Whisk me away to your bedroom, stud,” I joke.

He laughs again before his smile falters. “I’m thinking I don’t want to hide out anymore,” he admits.

My stomach plummets like an elevator dropping ten floors in a second, and I suck in a sharp breath.

“What? No, no, no,” I ramble.

He lowers me before pressing his finger lightly against my lips, effectively silencing me.

“Piper, I’m done. Brad will understand.”

He begins his argument of wanting to out us to my brother, but I shake my head and retreat to the safe confines of his room.

His bare feet stomp on the wooden floors behind me, and when I turn around, he leaves the door open. I shake my head, and hammer across the floor to shut it, flicking the lock over just to have double protection on the off chance that Brad comes home.

“Okay, what do we really gain from telling him?” I diplomatically ask. The thought of not giving myself a mini-heart attack is nice.

He shakes his head, bearing the smirk that brings out the naughty side of me. “For starters, I can take you on a real date.”

The crooked grin erupts on his face, and my willpower fades instantly.

“There’s nothing wrong with our dates,” I counter, stifling my giggles because of the antics we’ve done to not get caught over the past few weeks.

“Piper, come on. Secretly holding your hand under a table when we’re out or holing you up in my room when Brad’s on a date are not the ways I want this to be. I’m done with it, and you should be, too.”

“I should? Why exactly?” My hands land on my hips, and I jut one out for dramatic effect.

“Because.” His voice is low and sultry as he slowly steps toward me, already knowing he turned me.

Taking my hands in his, he brings them up in the air and links our fingers. My heart thumps hard in my chest, and my body zings from his nearness.

“I want everyone to know that you’re my girlfriend. I want to treat you the way you deserve. I don’t want to hide you out like a damn whore I’m ashamed of.”

His tone is so calm that I know there’s no way I can fight him on this issue. I’ve waited too long for this admission and damn my brother if he doesn’t understand it.

“Okay, let’s tell him,” I whisper.

I’m still unsure if my decision is a good one, but Tanner’s eagerness assures me that it is. A slow smile slides across his face as he begins backing me up to the bed. When my knees hit the edge of his queen-sized bed, he grabs me by my hips, his hands molding around my curves as though they were meant for my body.

“No more talking.” His green irises glimmer at the expectation of what we should be doing in the fleeting moments we’ve stolen.

“No more talking,” I confirm. My hands glide down his sculpted shoulders and biceps. I suck in a breath as my hands memorize every smooth and rigid line of his lean body. Pretty soon, I’ll have each contour of his swimmer’s body memorized.

His head dips down while I wait breathlessly for his lips to claim mine in the dance we’ve perfected over the past few weeks. His sweet breath fans across my face, and just as his lips brush against mine, the apartment door slams shut, rattling Tanner’s door in the process. I leap out of his arms, and my hand flies to my mouth, nervously biting my fingernails.

Unless Brad gave his key to someone else . . . our secret’s about to come out.

“Shit,” I mumble.

A cool Tanner sidesteps and places his hand on my wrist, pulling my fingers out of my mouth.

“Come on,” he says, tugging on my arm.

But I’m frozen in place. My feet stay planted on the floor as I shake my head.

“No way,” I whisper, the confidence I sported only moments ago quickly disappearing. A loud thud lands against the door, and I jump again.

“Tanner!” Brad yells.

I flinch from the anger in his voice. Something is wrong. I search out the glowing blue lights from Tanner’s clock by the bed.

“Why is he back?” I whisper, troubled about why he’s here. “Practice goes for at least another forty-five minutes.”

“Tan, come on, man. I need to talk to you,” Brad pleads, his voice sounding panicky and scared.

“Go. Go.” I push Tanner toward the door, intent on staying in the far corner. “Sneak through the door, and I’ll hide.”

“Just come with me.” Tanner’s so calm that it’s eerie.

I throw my hand over his mouth and shake my head. He bites the flesh of my finger, and I snap it from his mouth.

“Ouch,” I hiss, shaking my hand in the air.

“First of all, it doesn’t matter if he hears my voice. Second of all, let’s just tell him now.” His eyes widen, signaling I’m being stupid and he’s done with the secret relationship.

“I will but not now. Something’s not right. His voice . . .” I whisper as close to him as possible, trying not to inhale the scent of his body wash that I love so much.

“Fine, fine. I’m going to go talk to him, and then you’re coming out. Got it?”

He smacks my ass, and I jump, landing right in his arms.

He bends down, and his soft lips land on mine. My brother is slamming every cabinet in the kitchen, but it doesn’t matter. I’m still able to lose myself in Tanner. He gently licks my lips, parting my mouth open for his taking. His hands grab my hips and yanks me closer. Melting in his arms, Tanner’s safety is something I’ve always found. His tongue tangles with mine, and I moan into his mouth. Unable to keep our lust at bay, Tanner backs me up against the wall, pinning me with hips. His strong hands cup my face, tilting my head to the side, so he can devour me. His controlling and demanding mechanisms, when it comes to me, spreads a fire through my body.

I forget that my brother is outside the confines of this small room, allowing Tanner to hijack my every nerve.

Then, he pushes away, keeping his hands cupped on my cheeks. “Stay here, and I’ll be back in two minutes.” He winks, and one side of his lips curve up into a seductive smile.

“Hurry.” I take a deep breath and fall back to the wall. My stomach drops as I watch him walk out the door, sliding through the small opening.

Rushing to the door, I try to eavesdrop, but since they are in the kitchen, it’s hard for me to hear. Brad yells, and I can tell Tanner is trying to calm him, but I can’t make out what they are saying.

Giving up after a few minutes, I resort to sitting on the bed, cross-legged, fiddling with my phone. I glance at Tanner’s phone on the nightstand, and the urge to grab it is strong. A small part of me wants to make sure he really is faithful to me before I put my relationship with my brother on the line. Tanner McCain never had a problem getting girls at any point in his life. Shaking my head, I disperse the absurd thought from my mind. That’s no way to launch our new relationship.

Then, I glance to his corkboard hanging on his wall, and warmth radiates in my heart. A picture of the three of us on vacation when we were freshmen in high school is pinned next to his latest swimming medal dangling from the edge. In the picture, Tanner and Brad are resting in their rafts by the McCains’ lake house while I am floating on a raft a few feet away, oblivious to a camera taking a picture. I’m leaning back as I worship the sun in my black bikini, Brad is doing some sort of silly sign to the camera, and Tanner’s eyes are locked on me. Then, I remember that summer and Dylan, Tanner’s younger brother, being so fascinated with photography. The whole vacation, he had a camera in front of his face.

I miss that kid. I should talk to Tanner about making a trip up to visit Dylan at school. After he graduated and decided to attend NYU, the McCains were happy and sad all mixed together. Their youngest being so many miles away was hard on them. They made extra trips up here that year.

I’m surprised I’ve been in this room so many times and never noticed this picture. Maybe it’s because I’m usually on my back or facing his headboard.

I scramble back to the corner when I hear their voices coming down the hall.

“You got someone in there?” Brad casually asks.

I’m amazed at how Tanner can always calm him down.

“Um . . . yeah,” Tanner stutters.

I huff because I need my hotheaded brother in a drunken stupor before divulging that I’m banging his best friend.

“Shit, man. Sorry to take you away from a hot piece of ass.”

If he only knew who the hot ass was . . .

“I’m going to take a nap. I’ll put my earbuds in,” Brad snickers.

My face flushes.

“We’ll go over stuff in a little bit.” Tanner’s voice is quiet.

I’m curious about what stuff they need to go over.

A second later, Tanner slips through the door, and I slide out of the corner when he shuts it. He’s no longer the easygoing, fun-induced Tanner who stepped out fifteen minutes ago. Now, his nostrils are flaring, and his fists are clenching, but when his eyes meet mine, his body relaxes. Automatic suspicions of what I missed run through my brain like a ticker on the news channel.

“What is it?” I run over to him, and he leads me to the bed.

He head shakes, making my stomach churn with the bad thoughts of why my brother is home so early from practice. If anything, he usually stays later to gain an edge on his competition. With Tanner unable to race for at least the next month, Brad is their team’s only hope.

A heavy breath releases from his lips, and he turns my way before taking my hands. My body is on high alert. I know that whatever he’s about to tell me will change things between us . . . immediately.

I SHUFFLE BACK AND FORTH from my dresser to my suitcase. It’s been two weeks since I walked out of Tanner’s room. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I empty my drawers and all the belongings I’ve accumulated in the past four years.

I miss him. I miss us.

Pushing my heart away, I rationalize that he’s not the person I thought he was. He’s not someone for my future. He’s now my past. After a soft knock on my door, I wipe the wetness with my thumbs and take a deep breath. Double-checking my face in the mirror behind my door, I open it.

Wendi is standing on the other side, her glasses low on her nose and her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. The book in her hand is open with a highlighter in the middle, signaling she was studying. I finished my finals yesterday, but she still has two more. That’s why I have every intention of spending tonight at Bea’s.

She limply holds a white envelope in her hand out to me. “This just came for you.”

“From who?” I ask.

“Who do you think?”

“I’m sorry, Wendi. I told him to stop two days ago.”

“It wasn’t him. It was Matt,” she reveals.

Matt is one of Tanner’s teammates.

“Oh.” I take the envelope from her hand. It’s light, and I notice Tanner’s chicken-scratch handwriting scribbled on the outside. “Thanks, Wendi.”

“Sure.” Her eyes soften for the first time in a while. Our one year roommate relationship has been hot and cold lately. “I’m sorry, Piper.”

Her lips straighten, and I see her sympathy for me. She’s been great at lying to Tanner these past two weeks, always telling him I wasn’t home even if I was hidden in my bedroom.

“Thanks. Sometimes, things don’t work out, but thank you, Wendi.” I mean it, too.

We were closer friends before we moved in together. It’s nice our roommate situation might end on a nice note, other than the constant passive-aggressiveness over the past few months.

She nods and then turns around, walking back into the living room. After shutting my door, I sit on the edge of my bed. Flashes of Tanner in front of me and me undressing him run through my mind. Staring down at the letter, it sinks in my hands as though it weighs twenty pounds. My finger rests along the seam, and I tear my finger through the barrier. After taking the letter out of the envelope, I inhale a deep breath while slowly unfolding the paper.

Piper,

I don’t blame you for not talking to me, and I’m hoping you’re reading this letter. It’s my last attempt to get you to listen to me. When you read this, I’ll be on a plane to Colorado already. I’m not going to try to get you to understand anymore. I’ve made my bed.

There are a few things I wanted you to know though. I love you, Piper. Regardless of my actions, it’s the truth. You’re the girl for me, and I doubt a carbon copy of you is out there somewhere. I’m praying, with more time, you’ll forgive me and call me, but your silence these past weeks have proven that I might have hurt you beyond repair.

It’s the first time in my life that I don’t want to swim. I want to sit outside your apartment and wait for you to come back to me. But if I can’t have you, swimming will be the next best thing to fulfill my life.

Just know, you’ll always hold my heart.